Ch. 231..240

Chapter 231

Cora’s eyes followed her sister’s retreating back as the delegation exited. Ella kept looking back over her shoulder, concern and apology clear on her beautiful face. It was clear she wanted to stay, to talk about what had just happened and offer comfort, but her responsibility was to remain with the group. She mouthed “I love you” just before disappearing around the corner, but Cora could only manage a tremulous smile in response, 1

She wrapped her arms protectively around herself, all too aware of Roger’s presence behind her. He was so close Cora could feel the heat radiating off his powerful form in waves, and it was all too tempting to imagine his arms around her. She didn’t know why she’d admitted her hurt feelings to him, but she suspected it was the same reason she found his proximity so comforting. “You should go ahead,” She tried to say, “they must need you.”

‘Tm not leaving you like this.” Roger answered firmly, shifting close enough that Cora’s shoulder blades brushed against his chest.

“Well I have work to do.” Cora answered hoarsely, trying to pull away.

A heavily corded arm snaked around Cora’s middle before she could take a single step. ‘Talk to me.” Roger encouraged in a tender purr. He pulled her back against him completely, and Cora could see his handsome face in her periphery, watching her intently. ‘You’re clearly upset, little one.”

Cora was desperately trying to ignore the sensation of having the wolf wrapped around her like a security blanket, and she hated the way his nickname played on her psyche. Next to tiny Ella, Cora had always felt a bit gangly and ungainly, even though she was a perfectly average height and weight. She’d never been considered “little” compared to her sister, but she certainly was next to most wolves. It was often intimidating, but with Roger? She secretly loved how small and safe it made her feel. “I

already have a support system.” She told him dismissively, but her voice shook and her lower lip quivered dangerously. “I don’t need you.”

“Maybe not, but I’m here and I care.” He answered gently, cupping her cheek in his free hand and turning her face towards him. It was an odd angle: at once sideways, backwards and upwards; but it was undoubtedly effective. The wolf’s dark eyes were boring into her own from only a few inches away, and Cora felt as though he was looking straight through her. ” Tell me how to make it better, Cora.”

He couldn’t have predicted the effect these simple words would have on the human, but the next thing he knew tears were spilling from her lashes. Heart-wrenchingly vulnerable, Cora admitted. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I need right now.”

Roger tsked, and turned her to face him. ‘That’s okay.” He assured her. ” Because, I do.” Wrapping Cora in a proper hug, he tucked her tear-stained face against the curve of his neck. He stroked her spine and began to purr, pressing soft kisses to her hair. Cora broke the moment his purrs began, clinging to Roger and sobbing into his collar. ‘That’s it, sweetheart.” Roger encouraged. “Just let it all out.” He swayed softly from side to side, and though his wolf was focused entirely on soothing the devastated bundle, his own thoughts were much darker.

Roger was already plotting ways he could take revenge on Kieran for his cruelty. It was better to do so now, while his wolf was distracted. As soon as the irate beast was no longer occupied with Cora, he was going to be so aggressive and bloodthirsty that it would take all of the Beta’s strength not to go rip the other wolf to shreds – which would hardly help their diplomatic mission. He needed to decide an appropriate revenge now, while he was still able to think logically

‘I'm s-s-sorry.” Cora wept, her words muffled against his shoulder. “I d- don’t kn-know why I’m being such a b-baby.”

“Don’t you ever apologize for crying.” Roger scolded, holding her just a bit tighter. ‘You have every reason to be upset. That mongrel was unconscionably cruel to you, and trust me, he’s going to pay.”

“He was r-right.” Cora cried. “As far as shifters are c-concerned I’m n- nothing more than a pet. I w- wouldn’t even b-be here if it wasn’t for Ella.”

A growl broke through Roger’s purrs. “He wasn’t right and if you ever suggest such a thing again, I swear to the Goddess I will put you right over my knee.”

Cora shuddered reflexively, her pulse speeding up. Though she did her best to sound affronted, she couldn’t completely hide the curiosity in her voice.” You can’t do that.”

“Watch me.” Roger rumbled in her ear, sending a second shiver down her spine. His wolf howled in triumph, loving how responsive the lovely woman was proving to be. Holding Cora felt so impossibly right, and she clearly responded to his dominance. “He wasn’t right. No one thinks of you that way, Cora. Kieran is a vulgar little maggot with no redeeming characteristics. Don’t give his opinion a second thought.”

“You don’t really believe he was the only one who felt that way do you?” Cora inquired. ‘The others might not have jumped on board, but they didn’t object either.” She shook her head, frustration taking hold now that the worst had passed. “I hate the way I always freeze up that way! Why can’t I break myself of that? I’m not a little girl anymore.”

‘You didn’t freeze, you spoke up for yourself beautifully.” Roger argued.

‘That’s not what it felt like.” Cora confessed. “I felt like a mouse standing up to a lion. Ella and Gabriel were the ones who actually put an end to the matter. And I just stood there and let them defend me, I probably wouldn’t have been able to say what I did if…” She trailed off, her cheeks suddenly going pink.

“If what?” Roger asked, his instincts alerting him to her sudden spike of nerves.

It took Cora a long moment to answer, and when she did her voice was barely audible. “If I’d been alone, if I hadn’t had… all of you… beside me.” Her phrasing was stilted and uncomfortable, and Roger immediately understood that she’d been about to say: ‘if you hadn’t been beside me.’ Now she was trying to cover it by making it about the group.

“I see.” Roger said, smiling to himself and breathing in her scent. “And is there a reason you think you should have to go it all alone?”

“Because I never have before.” Cora explained, sniffling. Her tears had slowed but she didn’t make any attempt to leave Roger’s arms. Instead she leaned into him and closed her eyes. “I know I don’t have to be an island – I know everyone needs help sometimes. But just once in my life, I’d like to know I’m capable of saving myself.”

“So why do you think you freeze up?” Roger inquired, still purring.

“I know why.” Cora shared sorrowfully, “because I’m afraid that if I do or say the wrong thing, if I react at all, I might provoke an even worse attack… it’s a survival strategy I learned in the orphanage.”

Roger couldn’t hold back his growl, but Cora was surprised to find she didn’t mind. Growls from Roger never felt threatening, only . ‘Well maybe we can work on that together. I could teach you how to fight, or we could start running together – so you have a flight option as well.” He teased, remembering how badly she’d coped with a short job the day before.

“No running.” Cora grumbled sulkily, earning a chuckle from Roger. The sound filled Cora with warmth, and she found herself smiling too.

‘There now,” Roger praised, petting her hair, “Goddess you have a beautiful smile.”

His compliment jerked Cora abruptly back to reality, and she realized just how completely she’d dropped her guard. A flash of panic infiltrated her senses, and she desperately tried to regain control of her senses.

Attempting to backtrack, she said, ‘Thank you for comforting me, but I should get to work, and you should catch up to the group.”

‘That might be difficult if you don’t let me go, little one.” Roger teased, and Cora realized he was right. Her arms were still locked around his middle, and though she tried to convince her hands to release him, they would not obey. Mildly alarmed, she reflexively looked up at Roger for help, and found his face mere inches from her own. She gasped with surprise, her heart pounding even harder when she saw the wolf’s hungry expression. His eyes drifted to her full mouth, and for a moment Cora was certain he was about to kiss her. Worse, she realized she wanted him to do so more than anything – and that was truly terrifying.

Something flashed in his glowing gaze, and just when Cora thought he was about to close the final distance, he released her. “I’ll let you off just this once, Cora.” Roger promised, stroking her cheek. “Because you’ve been through a lot today, and I know you’re confused. But be warned, the next time I get you in my arms, I’m not letting go.”

Cora gulped with trepidation. Oh God, she thought as the butterflies in her stomach went into overdrive, I’m in big trouble.

 

Chapter 232

At Dinner that night, I finally get the chance to check in on my sister. “How are you doing?” I ask, giving her a one-armed squeeze.

“I’m okay.” She says, and I’m surprised to see she’s telling the truth. “How did the rest of the visit go?”

“It was good.” I reveal, not really ready to change the subject. I feel eyes on us, and look up to find Roger watching our exchange. What’s more, I realize Cora is staring right back at him, rather than looking at me. Suddenly I understand why she isn’t more upset – I don’t know what Roger did or said to her after we left, but he clearly worked his magic. “I think we made some progress. More importantly, we finally received a response from one of the human governments we reached out to last week – saying they were open to a meeting – so it seems like we might be gaining some traction.”

“But didn’t you reach out to a lot of human leaders?” Cora asks, genuinely intrigued. “Just one isn’t a very good rate of return.”

“One so far.” I correct her, hoping that I’m right. Vanara is so far away and these matters so complicated that we always expected any response to take a great deal of time. The humans are undoubtedly gathering their entire parliaments to consider our offer, and political debates are rarely fast. “Besides, even if no one else responds, if we can bring one government on board, then they could become a link to others – vouch for us.”

“That’s great.” Cora smiles, lighting up a bit. “What did the other Alphas think of that?”

“So far everyone but Kieran is playing their cards close to their chests – not that I blame them. Still, I think the camp visit did what we intended. Hearing about a crisis like this is nothing compared to seeing it with your own eyes.” I want to tell her about the way some of these puffed-up alpha males had

dissolved to tears in the nursery, but unfortunately they’re all in hearing range. Instead I say, “Roger even showed them the video of the coast and offered to arrange a visit there as well.”

Cora blinked, jerking her eyes back to Roger, “But surely that’s not safe.”

“We’re deploying the first of the security drones tonight, and Dominic is pulling his continental spies and a few resistance forces back to the coast to shield the refugees – now it’s obvious Damon knows their location.” I reveal, “for now it’s the best we can do, and so far Damon’s focus isn’t on us. He’s too busy trying to remain in control of the territories he stole and from all appearances, it’s not going well for him.” 1

“I don’t understand.” Cora blinks, returning her gaze to me. “I thought the takeover was complete.”

‘That was before the secrecy pact broke. Now he’s fighting the human armies and resistance forces have been springing up everywhere.

Apparently his initial success was short-lived. He’s employed thousands of rogues which he cannot control, and the more shifters he targets, the more enemies he makes. We’ve even got some rogue-led militia’s now.”

“Really? But… why am I only just hearing about this?” Cora asked, looking slightly affronted.

“Don’t worry, I’m in the same boat,” I relate. “These bossy wolves aren’t great about sharing information. We’re all so busy with our own projects and tasks that it’s easy to lose track.” In truth, between planning the summit, my hypnosis, work with the refugees, bed rest and Sinclair’s near death, I almost forgot about tracking events on the continent. It wasn’t

until my mate filled me in that I realized just how much I’d been missing.

“Well I’m glad to hear it – are the delegations going to go to the coast?” Cora questions.

“It’s not clear yet,” I answer, which isn’t entirely accurate. It was obvious the chickens hadn’t wanted to take the risk, but I won’t be saying that aloud either. “Anyway, we can talk more later, I just wanted to check on you.”

“Wait,” Cora catches my arm before I’ve even moved. She glances around at her neighbors to make sure they aren’t paying attention. “Do you… I mean … Ella, when all that happened – earlier you were kind of glowing.” She whispers, “Did you realize?”

I purse my lips, “Later.” This is the precise word Sinclair had used when Henry and Gabriel brought up the strange phenomenon – which I had been completely unaware of at the time. It wasn’t until they mentioned it that I even knew it happened, and I don’t know how I did it. Still, Sinclair hadn’t wanted to discuss it in front of the delegations.

I return to my seat, and Sinclair promptly slides his arm around me. How is she? He asks through our bond.

Like you couldn’t hear. I joke, arching my brow.

It’s still polite to ask. He replies, nabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips. The dinner continues without incident, and eventually I tell Sinclair that I’m going to go up to our suite a bit early. Of course, this isn’t what I actually want to do. Instead I head for Roger’s rooms. He left dinner a little while ago, and I have the sneaking suspicion that he and I are on the same page. When he opens the door, he only smiles, “I had a feeling I might be seeing you.”

I walk in without hesitation, “so what are we going to do to that fuck pig?”

“Well, whatever it is, it needs to be something Kieran can’t tie back to us. As much as I want to teach him a lesson, if he knows why he’s being punished, he might go after Cora.” Roger replies, needing no further explanation. “We’ll have to keep our distance.”

“What does he hate? Other than humans, I mean.” I ask, though I realize my brother-in-law knows the wolf barely better than I do.

“Well, I imagine a hyper-masculine ass like that wouldn’t appreciate being made to look like a little girl. We could turn all his clothing pink? We would only need to go down to the laundry and slip some dye into the wash.” Roger suggests, a devious glint in his eye.

“Oh I like that.” I agree. “But I don’t want to get any of the castle servants in trouble, and I can tell he’d demand their heads on the platter.” I pause, “In fact, I think that we need to keep this out of the palace entirely. If we humiliate him while he’s here, it could undermine the summit and our alliance. It would be best if we can hit him on his home turf.” I wrack my brains, and after a moment a lightbulb flicks on with a brilliant idea.

“What are you thinking?” Roger questions, easily reading my beaming grin.

“Well obviously the ignorant bastard needs some education and guidance on how not to be a world class prick. So I think we should start sending him some literature and self-help guides. They can be mailed directly to his own mansion in the Storm Forest capital, and we can even space out the deliveries so that it starts small, but over time it will build up into a

veritable library. It would certainly be easy enough to place the orders and conceal our identities so he doesn’t know who’s sending them.” I explain, getting more and more excited about this idea by the minute. “We can even keep it on the theme of things that would completely emasculate the little weasel.”

“I’m not sure I follow.” Roger confesses, his brow crinkling in confusion.

“Well, just picture it,” I instruct, fighting back the urge to giggle. “When Kieran returns home from his trip and starts going through the correspondence and packages that arrived while he was away, imagine

how surprised and confused he’ll be when he finds an advice book about living with a micro-penis; brochures about resisting the urge to cross-dress; and how-to-guides for fixing impotence.” I paint the scene for us both, watching as Roger’s face lights up with delight. “He’ll try calling the companies which sent the books to find out who purchased them, only to find out that his own name is on the buyer accounts.”

“He’ll be baffled and angry, and of course he’ll throw it all away – but the outrage will pass after a week or so. That’s when the next set of packages will arrive.” I continue, becoming more animated by the minute. “More self help books about overcoming the things he would consider most humiliating, in conjunction with supplies to help him improve. Adult bedwetting literature with boxes of diapers; books on how to pleasure your unsatisfied lover along with penis enhancement pills; feminization porn along with frilly dresses and sex toys.

“You’re a bloody genius.” Roger praises, laughing out loud. “And the best part is that you know he’s not even going to be the one opening the boxes. His servants will deliver everything to him unwrapped. Before long rumors about his embarrassing problems will be all over the pack.”

“Exactly.” I giggle, more than a little proud of myself.

Just like that we’re off to the races, beginning to make lists and search materials online. We make the final arrangements for the first shipment and agree to meet again, before I finally sneak back to my own room. I’m so pleased with our scheme, and I’m still smiling when I walk into the suite.

“Hello mate.” Sinclair’s deep voice sends me leaping into the air before the door can even close. “And just where have you been?

 

Chapter 233

I clutch my belly in shock, whirling around to locate Sinclair. He’s leaning in the doorway of our bedroom, his powerful arms crossed over his chest. Sinclair’s glowing green eyes pierce straight through me, a foreboding expression on his handsome face as he waits for my answer.

“Nowhere.” I squeak, too surprised to think clearly.

Sinclair rumbles wordlessly and prowls forward, catching my nape in his strong hand. “You told me you were coming back here after dinner, but you were clearly somewhere else, trouble. The question is whether you meant to come back and got sidetracked, or if you lied to me?”

He tilts my head back so I’m forced to look up at him, and though he’s wearing his most intimidating expression, my inner wolf only swoons. She flops onto her back and rubs herself against the ground, attempting to entice her mate. I can feel Sinclair’s wolf fighting the urge to give in, reasserting his disapproval through our bond. The massive creature towers above my wolf in our minds’ eye, his canine features hungry, fierce and utterly irresistible.

Sinclair’s free hand travels across my waist and settles over my navel. The baby kicks in excitement, sharing the elated emotions and silliness he’d been feeling through our bond when I was scheming with Roger. For a split second, I think Sinclair might be fighting a smile, “Have you been making mischief, little wolf.”

“Of course not.” I promise, sliding my arms around his neck and rising onto my tip toes for a kiss, “I wouldn’t even know how.”

Sinclair chuckles darkly, claiming my lips for an extended interlude that sparks fire in my veins. “Don’t make me ask Philippe where you’ve been, little wolf.” He warns when we part, “it will only make things worse.”

“I just went to see Roger.” I shrug, batting my lashes and trying to look innocent, “I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“Thank you. But you didn’t answer my question, Ella.” Sinclair responds, running his palm over the curve of my bottom and squeezing, hitching me closer.

I gnaw on my lower lip. “Well I was planning on coming straight here… after I stopped to talk to him.”

“Uh-huh.” Sinclair rumbles, dropping his head to the curve of my neck and brushing his fangs back and forth over my mating mark. He pauses to nibble the special spot, turning my insides to liquid. “And what business did you have with Roger that was so important that you felt it warranted lying to your mate?”

“It wasn’t really a lie.” I insist, earning myself a scolding growl. I give him a beseeching look as he raises his head again, already knowing I’m fighting a losing battle, “just an omission.” Sinclair arches a devastatingly dubious brow, and I sigh. “Fine, we wanted to make Kieran pay for being such a jerk to Cora. It was our fight – not yours.”

For the first time, Sinclair looks genuinely wary, “Ella, what did you do?”

Staring at my feet – or more accurately, staring at my baby bump, which now completely obscures my feet – I tell him the details of our plan, wondering just how angry he’s going to be. When I finish explaining the plot, I peek up at him from beneath my lashes, only to find him beaming down at me. He cups my cheek in his hand and, feeling emboldened, I offer him a shy smile. “You are the sweetest, most diabolical little imp I’ve ever met.” Sinclair announces, laughing heartily. “He’s going to lose his Goddess -damned mind.”

Now I can’t hold back a grin, “it’s good isn’t it?”

“It’s brilliant, but you’re still a very bad girl for going behind my back.” Despite his words, his tone is pure affection. “I was worried when you weren’t here, and besides your fights are my fights too now.

That’s how this works.”

I nod, “I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

‘Yes you should have.” He confirms, scooping me up into his arms. “And we’ll talk more about that later, but for now I’m more concerned about the power you tapped into earlier.”

‘You mean the glowing?” I guess, not really wanting to discuss this when we’re finally alone and his kisses have left me feeling more than a little hot and bothered.”Wouldn’t you rather do something else?” I lean forward to kiss my way up his jaw, catching his earlobe between my teeth and nipping lightly, “Something that doesn’t require any talking at all?”

Sinclair growls with longing, but he holds firm. “We have plenty of time for that, trouble.” He answers, settling on the couch with me in his lap. ‘This is too important to put off. I’ve never seen anything like it.” He shares, caressing my belly.

“Do you think everyone noticed?” I ask, leaning my head against his shoulder. “I mean it only happened for a second, right?”

Sinclair chuckles, cuddling me closer. ‘Yes baby, I’m afraid they would have to have been blind not to.” He explains, “It wasn’t just glowing. When you spoke it was like… I don’t know, the only thing I can compare it to is casting a spell.”

“What do you mean?” I inquire, not sure I like the sounds of this.

“I mean you captivated the entire room so completely that we all forgot everything else. When you spoke, nothing else existed. Now,” He flashed a sultry smile, ‘That might be business as usual for me, but it isn’t for other wolves – especially not Alpha’s of this caliber. Your words weren’t just persuasive, it felt as if you were rewriting my personal thoughts. That feeling faded as soon as you calmed down but it was… well, astonishing doesn’t seem a strong enough word.”

“But how could I do something like that, without even realizing I was doing it?” I frown, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.

Sinclair thinks for a moment, ‘Your wolf was bound for so long that you never got a chance to learn how to control your power like most shifters do. And when we met and she started to come out, it was a little like this too, remember?” He prompts, kissing my hair. “We kept seeing flashes of your true nature – flashes of the alpha spirit inside you. The power would flare up and recede so quickly it was easy to mistake it for the baby.

“And you think the same thing is happening now that my wolf is free? The power is there somewhere but I don’t know how to use it, so it’s just bursting out when my emotions get high?” I clarify, not sure how I feel about this at all.

‘That would be my guess.” Sinclair confirms.

“But where is it coming from – I’ve never heard of wolves casting spells or anything like what you’re describing. Not that I’m an expert but still.” I ramble, feeling more confused by the minute.

Sinclair begins to purr, obviously sensing my unease. “But you’re not just any wolf, Ella. The Goddess’s bloodline runs in your veins. We may not know how much of herself she gave to you, or what kind of magics that power imparts – but I have to think that’s the reason this is happening.”

I clamp my eyes shut, I’d been afraid he’d say that. “Do you think it will hurt us with the other Alphas – like they might feel tricked or manipulated?” I wonder aloud.

“On the contrary, I think it will help us. It’s one thing to reject me – and another entirely to reject the Goddess’s own daughter.” He reasons. “Even so, we need to find out what else you’re capable of – we need to learn about your power and find you a teacher to help you control it.” Sinclair declares, “As soon as the summit concludes, we can restart your hypnosis sessions – and this time I’ll be by your side.”

“But Dominic… we don’t have any idea what other memories I might have suppressed, or if there are any at all.” I object, staring at my lap. I’ve been waiting for the right time to bring this up, and it seems fate has given me the perfect opportunity – through necessity if not grace. “The only way hypnosis is going to answer these questions is if those priests or the Goddess herself came back and taught me about my power – and they certainly can’t have trained me because my wolf was bound before my magic even manifested.”

“Well, we won’t know unless we try.” Sinclair sighs, brushing my hair back from my face. “If hypnosis doesn’t hold any more answers we’ll find another way. But I promise we’ll figure this out, Sweetheart.”

Taking a deep breath, I sit up, moving to straddle his lap. Sinclair’s big hands settle on my hips as he waits for me to work up my courage. When I finally do, I say, “I think there may be another option – but you aren’t going to like it.” I reveal, watching him closely. “Dominic, I think I have to find my mother.

Chapter 234

Sinclair’s face immediately closes off, “Baby we talked about this.” He rumbles, sounding unhappy but not angry.

“We started to,” I agree, remembering that last painful conversation. “And then the bomb went off and everything went crazy.”

“Ella, I know how badly you want to meet her. And I would love nothing more for us to be free to go searching right this minute – but it’s not the time. There’s too much going on.” Sinclair proclaims, repeating much of the same sentiments he had when we first discussed this matter.

“But this isn’t just about finding her because I want to meet her.” I correct him. “You told me yourself that after Xavier died, Queen Reina left Moon Valley and became a devotee of the Goddess. That can’t be a

coincidence.” I insist, silently begging him not to shut this possibility down without hearing me out first. “My mother met the Goddess, she spoke to her. Whatever they discussed, it had to have been far more substantive than the fairytale version the Goddess told me as a pup. Even if that’s all she knows – she still has answers we don’t.”

Sinclair doesn’t reply, but I can see the gears working in his head, his thoughts racing a thousand miles a minute. Taking advantage of his contemplative mood, I forge ahead, “But what if that’s not all? What if she’s been serving the Goddess these last five years learning the secrets of my blood so she’ll be ready when I come? What if she knows how to get in direct contact with the Goddess, and can help me do the same? It’s obvious that the Goddess’s priests and devotees have powers and knowledge we don’t – far more than any elder council. If anyone can help us, surely it’s her.”

All of a sudden I feel a violent burst of defiance from Sinclair’s wolf, the beast lashing out against the man. It explodes through our bond in a vicious haze of passion and protectiveness, rage and refusal, determination and fear. Sinclair clamps his eyes shut with the effort of getting the animal under control, and his fingers dig into my hips with unexpected force. Understanding sinks in when he slowly drops his head back against the sofa, emitting a very soft, drawn out, “fuuucckk.”

My heart leaps in my chest. “I’m right, aren’t I?” I exclaim excitedly, bouncing a little in his lap. “I’m right?”

Sinclair snarls, and perhaps for the first time in our entire relationship, he sets me away from him. One moment I’m straddling his thighs with my swollen belly pressed flush to his abs, and the next I’m alone on the couch while my mate paces back and forth across the room, overflowing with feral energy. I watch him warily, feeling torn. I’m desperate to find my mother, but the last thing I want is to be away from my mate, especially as the war escalates and my due date nears. I’m sure he feels exactly the same way.

“Dominic?” I ask in a small voice, not sure what to do to help calm him.

“Yes, you’re right!” He snaps, even though I hadn’t planned on repeating my earlier question. “I swear, I could strangle the Goddess for doing this to us. If she wanted to create a mortal child she should have stayed with you and raised you and been a real fucking parent. She never should have torn you from Reina and Xavier, sacrificed you to be abused by the humans!” His thundering growls have evolved into a full-on roar, and his power spills out of him like a wild thing – ferocious and indomitable. “What kind of a god abandons their most precious miracle? What kind of mother leaves her children helpless?”

I want to get up and go to him, but I can tell he needs his space at the moment. He needs to get all of his fury out into the open – especially if I want him to agree to this. Even so, I feel the strangest

compunction to defend my celestial mother, “In my memory, she said that I had to go through all that, so that I could know what it was to be human.” I remind him.

Sinclair whirls around, “that’s bullshit. You could have been raised by Damon himself and still turned out the sweetest creature to ever walk the earth!”

“I don’t think that’s true.” I counter gently, “that’s not how people work.”

“I don’t care!” He grumbles viciously. “I will never, never forgive her for what she put you through!”

At this point, I do stand and close the distance between us. I reach up and place my small hands on either side of his scruffy jaw, forcing him to look down at me – even though he clearly doesn’t want to. He grimaces and looks anywhere but at me. I patiently wait, and he eventually concedes, his green eyes shining. I tilt my head to the side, letting him feel all my love through our bond. “You do know, that if she hadn’t done all that – you and I would never have met.”

Sinclair softens slightly, searching my face with his ravenous gaze. His arms reflexively wrap around my body, and he lowers his forehead to mine. There’s still so much turmoil swirling through his consciousness, and the stubborn man doesn’t want to give in. “If the cost of giving you the life you deserve was living without you, I would have gladly done it.

‘Then I’m glad it wasn’t up to you, because I wouldn’t.” I profess fervently.” I wouldn’t trade you and Rafe for anything in the whole world, and it frankly infuriates me that you would even suggest such a thing,” I continue with a scowl. “I am the woman I am today because of everything I survived and overcame. I’m not saying I like it, or that I wouldn’t spare myself of the pain if I could. But if it hadn’t happened we wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t have the love and joy of our family, and more importantly, our people would pay the price.”

“I don’t care.” He says again, wearing an expression suspiciously close to a pout. “You’re more important.” I realize I’m talking to his wolf now, rather than the logical man who puts duty above all else.

“You don’t really believe that.” I respond with a sad smile, ‘This was all set in motion so that the God of Darkness’s schemes on earth wouldn’t result in the destruction of shifters and humans alike. You, more than anyone, believe the future of our world is worth any price.”

“Not you.” He digs his heels in, clutching at me with newfound vigor, his voice hoarse with emotion. “Never you.”

“Exactly, and if it wasn’t for this war – I never would have been born.” I state simply, though the gravity of this fact staggers me. I hadn’t considered this particular bit of logic before, and though my brain wants to freak out in existential angst, I know I have to keep it together for my spiraling mate. “Don’t you prefer having me in the world and a bit scarred, than not having me in the world at all?”

‘That isn’t fair.” He snaps petulantly, glaring at me even as his hands tighten on my small body.

“Maybe not, but it’s true.” I answer wryly, running my thumbs over his cheeks. “It will be okay, Dominic.” I croon, leaning into him for a hug.

“I can’t let you go, Ella.” He mumbles against the curve of my neck. I feel his angry tears on my skin, and I know that the decision has already been made, despite his continued denial. “I won’t. It’s not safe, I’ll go mad if I let you out of my sight.”

“We got through one separation.” I murmur, kissing his hair and running my hands over his broad shoulders. ‘We can get through another.”

He shakes his head, “It’s not the same. I knew I’d be back before things got too serious, before the baby got too big.” Sinclair’s hands slide to my middle, “there’s no telling how long it might take you to find Reina – how far you might have to go, or how much time you’d have to spend with her to learn whatever she has to teach you.” His wolf’s despair puts tears in my eyes too, but before I can reply he’s

talking again. “And it was different when I knew you were under lock and key here. I wasn’t joking when I said

I’d go mad, my wolf will lose his mind if we don’t know where you are or whether or not you’re safe.”

‘We’ll get through it, because we have to.” I promise, feeling my own sobs begin to build. “The last thing I want to do is be away from you, Dominic. But we don’t have a choice here. I have to do this if we’re going to win this war.”

I feel another violent wave of anger and resistance from his wolf, before something caves inside him. “Not before the summit concludes. Not before I’ve had at least another week with you two.” Sinclair stipulates, letting his authority come through loud and clear.

“After the summit.” I agree, feeling both of our hearts break. “Not a moment before.

 

Chapter 235

If I’d thought getting out of bed with my mate was difficult yesterday, it’s nothing compared to the struggle facing me today. Now that Ella and I have decided to undergo another separation, my wolf is even more on edge than before. All night I slept with my precious mate wrapped so tightly in my arms she couldn’t move an inch – a fact which became apparent when she pinched me awake in the middle of the night so that she could go pee. Of course, the moment she returned to my arms I wasted no time making love to her again, but it only appeased my wolf temporarily.

Now, as I watch her snuggle closer to me in the cool morning air, I wonder if I can truly go through with this. Right on cue, Ella opens her glorious gold eyes, and I fall into the bottomless pools. “Good morning.” She murmurs, yawning and stretching before leaning in for a kiss. Her lips meet mine with familiar ease, but the taste of my delectable mate sets my wolf to howling, and fire sparks in my blood. It’s further proof of what I already know – that no matter how much time passes or how often we come together, my passion for this she-wolf will never dim.

“I changed my mind.” I rumble when we finally part. “I can’t let you go, Ella.”

My sweet mate sighs, frowning deeply as she caresses my muscular arm.” Dominic, we talked about this. It’s for the best.”

“How can it be for the best when we aren’t together?” I posit stubbornly, not caring one bit that I sound like a lovesick pup.

‘The same way it was for the best for us to divide and conquer when you went visiting the Vanaran territories and I stayed behind.” Ella reminds me, kissing my shoulder and drawing my hand to her belly to feel our pup. Rafe is wide awake and alight with energy, though he clearly senses our tangled emotions. There’s an edge of confusion and anxiety in his otherwise content consciousness, and I know the clever minx is directing my attention to this on purpose.

“Stop being so rational.” I huff, letting my wolf take over. “What happened to the little hellion who made me feel like a murderer for leaving her behind?”

“She learned from her mistakes.” Ella answers steadily. “I didn’t understand then, I let my hurt feelings and anxiety blind me – but I know better now.” A door opens in our bond, and she lets me feel the pain she’s struggling to overcome herself – pain she kept hidden last night. I suspect she did so to prevent me using it as an excuse to stay together, but now she shares it to let me feel how she hates this every bit as much as I do.

“What about Rafe?” I demand, “you remember how angry he was with me when I finally returned? How abandoned he felt?”

“And he recovered, because you’re a wonderful father and you showed him that you’ll always be there for him – even when he doesn’t want you to be.” Ella counters in the same gentle tone. “Besides, I’ll tell him every day that it’s my fault and if he should be angry with anyone, it’s me.”

“No you won’t.” I reply sharply. “He can’t be missing me and cross with you at once – it’s too much stress.”

“Alright.” Ella agrees. ‘Then I’ll tell him once we’re back together so he can retroactively hate me… and we will be back together, Dominic. We’re going to get through this.”

“I don’t want him to hate you.” I grumble, running my hand over her tummy as Rafe rolls around inside of her, sending visible ripples over her taut skin. “I just want there to be some way for us to do it all: find your mother and fight this war, and have our pup without ever leaving each other’s side.”

“It was bound to happen eventually anyway.” Ella reminds me, “I know you weren’t going to take us with you into battle. You were going to leave us here in Vanara while you went off to save the world, weren’t you?”

She’s right, and the impossible creature knows it. Her beautiful face is the picture of innocence, but there’s a knowing glint in her shining eyes that betrays her calculation. “I didn’t think it would be this soon.” I grumpily explain, nibbling her mating mark. “And it’s one thing for you to be under lock and key with Gabriel, and another entirely to send you out into the unknown without me.”

“I know, my love.” She croons, running her fingers through my hair – soothing me against my will. I’m well aware that she’s giving me a taste of my own medicine, and I have to admit it’s rather infuriating. Clever mate, my wolf growls through our bond, though it’s not clear whether it’s intended as praise or complaint. Naughty, incorrigible little wolf.

Just think about how wonderful our reunion will be. Her wolf answers suggestively. We’re not going to have any big scares this time. We’re just going to run – or waddle, in my case – into each other’s arms and ravish each other until we welcome our little angel.

That’s assuming he doesn’t arrive before you can find the answers we need, or before I have to go into battle. My wolf sulks. It’s not as if we can control his arrival.

Dominic, I promise you that no matter what is happening or where I am, I will come to you before he arrives. Even if I have to turn around and leave immediately afterwards, I’m not going to let this child come into the world without you. A flash of fear seeps through our connection, and I understand that this possibility terrifies her even more than it terrifies me. I couldn’t do it on my own, even if I wanted to.

You could. I tenderly chide, there is nothing you cannot do, Ella. You might not want to, but you’ll get through it whether I’m there or not.

The point is that you will be there. She insists, because we’re going to make sure of it.

I think we both know that this is wishful thinking – pretty words to give our wolves enough hope to go through with the separation. Children have a way of proving that even our best laid plans can and will go awry, and that’s when all else is normal – which our lives are certainly not. Even so, these gentle

pacifications are enough to calm my wolf, and a few hours later we’re sharing our decision with our friends and family.

Dad, Roger, Cora, Gabriel, Isabel, James and Philippe are all gathered in our sitting room, expectantly anticipating an explanation for our mysterious summons. The day’s summit events are about to kick off and I’m sure they all assume we’re here to talk about that, so it comes as no small shock when Ella declares she’s leaving Vanara next Friday.

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” Cora demands, nervously looking back and forth between us.

“Dominic and I have agreed that I need to find my mother, in order to understand the Goddess’s plans and my own power.” She explains soberly. “It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, but the more time that passes, the clearer it becomes that I can’t fulfill my destiny unless I discover the secrets of my past… and if anyone has those answers, it’s Queen Reina.”

“So you’re just going to leave?” Isabel demands, surging to her feet. “Just like that?”

“No, not just like that.” Ella sighs, “I don’t want to go, especially not when everything is so tense. But I don’t see another way.”

‘What about the refugees, the children?” Isabel snaps, cradling Sadie in her arms. ‘They need you!”

‘They might miss me.” Ella concedes, too modest for her own good. “But it’s you they need, just like the refugees need Dominic and James.” Isabel opens her mouth to argue more, but my mate cuts her off, “I’m not doing this for myself Isabel! If I had my way I wouldn’t go anywhere, but the pack comes first – our future comes first.” Isabel closes her mouth then, looking decidedly sullen as James pulls her down into his lap.

‘What about the baby?” Dad inquires, “the doctor is still worried about your stress levels.”

I growl in agreement, but Ella speaks over me. “I’m going to be more stressed and endangered if Damon wins because I didn’t do this.”

‘Where exactly are we going?” Philippe asks, already knowing that he’ll be guarding her on the expedition.

“I’m not sure yet.” Ella confesses, looking towards my father. “Henry, I hoped you might have some insight into the Queen’s whereabouts.”

“I’ll look into it.” Dad agrees, watching me closely. I can feel him probing my emotions through our bond, and I let him feel my turmoil and resignation. His wolf purrs in my head, and I’m amazed at how effective this is no matter how old I get.

“I’m going with you.” Cora suddenly announces, rising to her feet.

“I can’t ask that of you.” Ella replies with a sad smile, “you have your work and

“Ella, I’m coming with you.” Cora repeats firmly, leaving no room for argument. “If you’re going on a quest to find your mother, I’m not letting you do it alone.”

Tears well in Ella’s eyes, and she beams at her surrogate sister. “I’d love nothing more than to have you with me.”

As the women melt into a hug, my own gaze swings to my brother. Roger is staring at Cora with an expression I know all too well – and he is not happy

 

Chapter 236

Roger’s wolf was – to say the least – not amused by Cora’s decision to accompany Ella on her journey. He knew that her heart was in the right place and that she was strongly motivated by the desire to support her sister, but he also knew that wasn’t the only reason she was going.

The obstinate human had been avoiding him like the plague ever since he comforted her in the medical tent, and he hadn’t missed the way she’d been watching him just before declaring her intentions. While Ella had been placating Isabel and answering Dad’s questions, Cora had been eyeing Roger like a wary rabbit. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to resist him much longer, and Ella had just given her the perfect opportunity to flee rather than face her feelings.

Roger stalked out of the opulent guest suite in a minor rage, working to get his wolf under control. Stop being so self-centered, think about how hard this must be for Dorn. Think about how much it will comfort Ella to have her sister along for the trip. He scolded his wolf. It’s a family mission after all, and they’re family. It’s right that Cora should go.

If that were the only reason I wouldn’t object. His wolf snarled back. But she’s mine. She knows she’s mine and she’s running away.

She’s been running since this all began, it’s no surprise that this is her choice. Roger countered, taking deep breaths in and out. This was the very last thing he’d needed today. He’d dedicated the morning to searching for the spy who planted the bomb for Sinclair’s convoy, now he was going to be completely distracted.

I don’t care if it’s no surprise. She’s being naughty and she knows it! His wolf sniped ferociously, grumbling wordlessly as he pictured all the delightful ways he might teach her a lesson.

Roger rolled his eyes, cut it out, I don’t need an absent mind and an erection. Get your head in the game.

Giving himself a violent shake, Roger made his way to the palace’s security headquarters. He’d alerted the urban surveillance team to the spy’s presence in the hidden territories as soon as they confirmed the likely suspect. Every day since, he’d started his routine by stopping in to see if any positive IDs were made with Vanara’s superior facial recognition software. He wasn’t expecting to actually find the spy this way, but he had to exhaust every possibility.

So it was no small surprise, when the guards in charge of monitoring security cameras around the capital came rushing to meet him this morning. Before he could even enter the office, a junior enforcer was eagerly bouncing up and down in front of him, “Sir, we’ve got a positive ID!”

‘You do?” He asked, aghast. “Where, when?”

“It just came through, I was on my way to find you!” The young wolf reported, “He was caught on a camera in the moonflower district, coming out of an apartment building.”

“Take me there.” Roger ordered, gesturing for a few other guards to join them. “Now! There’s not a moment to waste. If he’s in the city, it’s because he’s upto something.”

Fifteen minutes later they pulled up in front of a modest building which Roger now recognized from the high definition photos the young enforcer displayed on a shiny tablet. There was no doubt this wolf was the same man who arrived on James’s transport only to immediately disappear, and the Beta’s adrenaline was surging as they neared their target.

“How will we know which apartment he’s in?” The excited enforcer inquired.

‘We’ll have to check with the landlord.” Roger explained. “I don’t want to go through this place knocking on every door and alert the suspect.”

It wasn’t difficult to find the building owner, and soon they were standing in front of flat number 4, silently signaling as they prepared to enter. The landlord confessed that he’d taken a new renter just last week and hadn’t bothered with the usual background checks, and now they had to hope that the suspect was still inside. Roger could smell a fellow Moon Valley wolf through the door, and it was all he could do to keep his temper in check. He’d expected a rogue, not one of their own. Then again, Damon had friends in very low places.

When Roger finally gave the signal, Gabriel’s top enforcers crashed through the door, a few of the men shifting in case they needed to fight. Roger marched through the wreckage on two legs, quickly setting his sights on his target. The spy was cowering in the corner, his paws still clenching a tightly shut window. He’d clearly smelled them and attempted to escape, but he was not fast enough.

‘What do you want?!” He cried, feigning ignorance. “What is this? I’m just a refugee.”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.” Roger snarled, prowling forward.” We know exactly who you are and what you’ve done.” It wasn’t entirely true, but at their core interrogations were exercises in psychological manipulation, and Roger was willing to lie to get the information he required.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The wolf insisted, holding his hands up defensively.

‘You’re a spy for Emperor Damon.” Roger cut back, ‘You set the bomb that killed all of the Alpha’s best men – his Beta. Your Beta. You committed treason.”

“I swear I didn’t!” The man repeated desperately.

“Then what is all this?” Roger turned, following the voice of the enforcer who spoke. The guard in question was standing over a cluttered work table, complete with a scale model of Gabriel’s palace. While they watched, the enforcer pulled back an accordion screen, revealing an array of weapons and chemicals. It was obvious what was happening – the assassin had failed to kill Sinclair once, it only made sense that he’d try again.

“It’s not what it looks like.” The spy squealed, sounding truly frantic.

“It looks like you’re planning for a second attack.” Roger assessed coldly.” What took you so long? All the increased security for the summit?” Suddenly everything that had seemed overcautious in the preceding days felt necessary, imperative even.

“Please you have to believe me!” The assassin begged, still refusing to admit his guilt.

“The only question is whether you’re planning this to get out of Damon’s bad books, or because you haven’t reported in yet.” Roger analyzed, circling on the spot as he took in every detail of the room. “Does Damon know Sinclair still lives?”

“I don’t-” The man started to lie.

“Enough!” Roger roared, throwing all of his power into the command.” There is no escaping this – we know you’re guilty. The only chance you have now is to cooperate with us. So do you want to play ball and maybe salvage your worthless life, or do you want to die here and now?”

The spy blanched, his skin suddenly seeming very gray. “Damon doesn’t know. If Sinclair lives, I don’t get paid, I’m not reporting back until the job is done.”

“How many of you are there?” Roger questioned sharply.

“As far as I know it’s only me, but then Damon wouldn’t be likely to tell me if there were others, would he?” the spy replied, his eyes flitting around the room anxiously.

“How did you get here?” Roger asked, just to see if the spy would tell the truth.

“I snuck in on one of your refugee transports.” He confessed, “it wasn’t hard.”

“Did Damon direct you to the transports, or did you find them yourself?” Roger pressed, needing to know exactly how knowledgeable their enemy was about their operations.

“Damon directed me, but I was probably the last spy who got through before he had to shift his forces to meet the humans.” The wolf explained.

Roger didn’t trust that this was actually true, but he wasn’t foolish enough to admit it. “Join us, turn on Damon, and I’ll double whatever he paid you.”

“Why would you do that?” The spy demanded suspiciously.

“Because we need every advantage we can get over Damon – and you should agree because he is going to lose this war. You must have seen how badly he’s floundering.” Roger persuaded, making his offer again. “Call your boss and tell him that Sinclair is dead, and you have my word I’ll double your fee.”

“How do I know you won’t just kill me once I have?” The assassin questioned shrewdly.

‘You don’t, but you can be sure I’ll kill you now if you don’t.” Roger threatened.

The spy hesitated for a long moment, the gears visibly turning in his head. He was smart enough to know he was a dead man, but hope was a tricky thing. It had the power to persuade even the most dire pessimists, and when it came to life and death… well, only a fool would turn down a lifeline, no matter how unlikely.

Roger and the enforcers watched as the traitor pulled out his phone and dialed the emperor. A moment later they heard Damon’s voice cut off the dial tone, “Is it done?”

“It’s done.” The spy lied, shaking where he stood.

‘Then your payment will be sent before the day’s end.” Damon announced.” Stay available. I may need you again.”

‘Yes sir.” The spy hung up, looking anxiously towards Roger.

The Beta confiscated his phone, double checking that the call was actually complete. “Very good.” He praised, his wolf salivating over the imminent kill. “But any wolf who is loyal only to the highest bidder cannot be trusted.” He stalked forward, bearing his fangs, “Any last words?

 

Chapter 237

Once Sinclair returned and I was allowed off of bed rest, I finally got the opportunity to visit Hugo’s widow Aileen. At least, I thought I would have the chance – instead I was turned away from her door and told in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t accepting visitors. I’ve been back every day since, but this morning is the first time she’s allowed me inside.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” I ask her gently, knowing better than to offer her empty apologies and condolences. “Anything at all?”

“You already are,” She answers wryly, looking up at me from her bed. “You know you, Dominic and Henry are the only ones who have come to see me? Not just to tell me how amazing Hugo was or say how much they pity me, but to find out how I’m doing because you truly care. And of the three of you, you’re the only one who hasn’t gotten the message to leave me alone.”

I shrug, not feeling the least bit sorry. “Sometimes we want to be left alone precisely when we shouldn’t be.” I frown, thinking about the other wolves in the palace – our fellow countrymen. “And don’t take the others’ absence personally. Everyone is caught up in their own worries with the war, and no one likes to be reminded of how quickly it can all be taken away… your grief makes it impossible to avoid.”

Aileen snorts, “you don’t beat around the bush, do you?”

“Would you rather I did? That I diminish the gravity of your loss for the sake of politeness?” I ask, hoping that I’m not miscalculating. My prayer is that a bit of reverse psychology will help Aileen come back to herself for the sake of her pup – who has been spending a great deal of time in the nursery since his mother disappeared into her grief.

“I still have my boy.” Aileen answers firmly, reminding herself of the very fact I came to press upon her

“And how is Davey doing?” I inquire pointedly, though I already know the answer. Sinclair and Henry have been spending any time they can with the poor pup – not that this amounts to much. The horrible reality is that none of us have the bandwidth to give the bereaved the attention they deserve, but the same is true of all the refugees. Doing our jobs as leaders means neglecting them in the present, so that we can ensure they have a future.

Aileen’s gaze drops to her lap, an expression of profound shame overtaking her features. “He’s devastated of course – he thought his father hung the moon. He’s the only thing keeping me going… if he wasn’t here I think…”

“Is he here?” I question gently, looking around the empty room.

“I sent him away.” She confesses, tears welling in her eyes. “I kept our bond open, but only just. I didn’t want him to see me like this.”

“Maybe he needs to see you like this.” I suggest, reaching for her hands and clasping them tightly. “Maybe he needs to see that you’re hurting just as badly as he is. Hugo isn’t the only one who hung the moon for him, Aileen. But right now he’s going it all alone.”

“But the other pups…” Aileen argues, “and the Alpha. Surely they’ll

‘They aren’t his mother. It’s not the same.” I insist, rising to my feet. “Come with me to visit the nursery, come see Davey. Or let me bring him to you.”

She hesitates, glancing towards a mirror on the far wall. She certainly looks more than a little worse for wear, with great dark circles under her eyes and dirty, lank hair. “I promise you, he doesn’t care how you look – only that you’re there.” I state before she can object.

Aileen nods hesitantly, and together we walk down to the nursery. Isabel and Henry are waiting for us – another scheme I concocted in hopes Aileen might take comfort from people who have been through

this and know how she feels. Of course, we haven’t even set foot in the room when a small voice cries, “Mommy!!!”

Davey’s dark head is racing towards us through the familiar space, crashing into his mother’s arms with tears streaming down his cheeks.” Mommy where have you been?!” He cries, his words muffled against her breast.

Aileen’s arms wrap around him reflexively, but it takes a moment for her to break. When it does happen, she shatters before our very eyes, crashing to her knees and dragging the pup into her lap. “I’m sorry.” She moans, rocking him back and forth. “I’m so sorry angel, I’ve just been so sad.”

“But I’ve b-been sad too!” Davey complained, sniffling, “I k-kept trying to c- come see you but th-they told me I couldn’t.”

Aileen continues sobbing apologies to her son, and then Isabel and Henry come forward to lend their arms as well.

Sinclair appears by my shoulder, a pained expression on his handsome face as he takes in the scene. “You finally got through to her?”

“Not me.” I correct, running my hands over my baby bump and thanking the stars for my unborn son. ‘This was all Davey.”

I know we can’t stay much longer, as our first video call with a human government is due to begin in only five minutes. Still, I wish we could stay longer – I wish we could do more for all of our people. As my mate leads me away, I lean into his warmth, “Please tell me you have good news? It’s beginning to feel like all we have around here is heartbreak.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Sinclair reveals, kissing my hair. “Roger caught the spy.”

“Really?” I gasp, stopping in my tracks. ‘That’s wonderful!”

Sinclair nods, tucking me under his arm and encouraging me to keep walking. ‘The bastard is dead, but he told Damon the assassination was successful before he took his last breath.”

“Surely that will be an advantage to us?” I inquire, my wolf howling with vengeful joy to know our enemy is no longer.

“I hope so, but I have to admit I’m relieved that you’ll be leaving Vanara soon.” Sinclair declares, surprising me. “Damon knows you’re here and he believes I’m out of the way. I’m sure he views you and Rafe as the last threats standing between him and world domination.”

Understanding clicks at once, “So we may be more at risk?” I muse aloud, probing our bond for signs of alarm. “And you’re still going to let me go?”

“Don’t make me think about it too hard, trouble.” Sinclair teases, his voice barely more than a growl. “But yes, I believe we made the right decision – though I’m going to arrange more security for you on the journey.”

I smother a groan, I really don’t want to travel with an entire army, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to complain when I know how hard it was for my mate to agree to this plan in the first place. No doubt sensing my reluctance, Sinclair chuckles, kissing me again. ‘Thank you for understanding, little wolf. I promise I’m not going to go overboard.”

“Suurree.” I tease, “just like when you promised not to get carried away last night?”

He offers me a wolfish grin, and I wonder if it was a mistake to remind him of our marathon lovemaking. After all, we still have a few minutes to spare and his wolf is even more insatiable than usual amidst all

this stress. ‘That was different, you know I can’t resist the taste of your sweet p- Ah, hello Gabriel.” Sinclair abruptly cuts off his sentence as the King rounds the corner in front of us.

Gabriel rolls his eyes, “like I can’t guess where that sentence was going? I swear, you two are determined to scandalize my entire palace.”

“He’s just jealous.” Sinclair whispers in my ear, making me giggle. “He wishes he had a mate to love him senseless every night.

The King merely crosses his arms over his chest. “Are you quite finished? There is a war on, you know?”

“We know. And we’re sorry.” I profess earnestly.

“I’m not.” Sinclair mutters unhelpfully. I swat his arm and he pinches my bottom, making me squeak in surprise.

‘We’re ready.” I assure Gabriel, though in truth I’m feeling rather breathless.

No less exasperated than before, the King pushes open the doors to his largest conference room, revealing the assembled Vanaran delegations and a large television screen mounted on the far wall. We take our seats at the head of the table, and then Gabriel opens the call interface.

None of us really know what to expect, and I can only hope that the wolves around me have enough sense and diplomatic skill not to insult the humans with whom we’re about to speak. We’ve done our best to ensure everyone is on the same page about how important a human alliance is – as it’s the only thing which might keep the whole of the shifter world from descending on Vanara while the countries they leave behind collapse.

Of course, the very last thing I expect to see when the screen comes to life, is the woman I once considered to be the leader of my own city. Sinclair’s hands tighten on me when he sees the familiar face of the Moon Valley mayor fill the call window. As far as I know, the last time they saw each other was after the rogue attack in Old Town and she certainly hadn’t been friendly then. On the contrary, she was Damon’s ally

 

Chapter 238

It’s no easy feat to calm my wolf.

The moment he sees the cold-hearted human who confronted us after Damon’s rogue attack at the Solstice, he begins clawing at the surface of my skin, begging to get out. I desperately work to keep my face blank, though I know my mate can sense my surprise and fury. She rests one small hand on my thigh, gently caressing my tense muscles. My wolf relaxes slightly, but not nearly enough. He’s growling in my head all the way through the introductions, which take much longer than I’d like.

When it’s my turn to greet her, I summon my strength. “Madame Mayor.” Somehow I manage to say it without enmity, “I didn’t realize it was you who would be joining us.”

“I think you’ll find I’m the only reason anyone is joining at all.” The former Moon Valley mayor, a woman by the name of Sabina Kelly, replies coolly. At first her words don’t make sense, but then the video pans out, revealing that she is far from the only guest joining this call. Grim-faced men line the table on either side of her, and though some are as unknown to me as any stranger, others are surprisingly familiar. I see legislators, governors and leading activists from the human world, even a few politicians to whom we reached out with no reply. I can scarcely wrap my mind around the assembled delegates before Sabina is speaking again. “Nor can I rightly claim the title of mayor since Damon saw fit to depose me.”

“Well with all due respect, you are an elected official – Damon is not.” I reply, falling back on my diplomatic training to smooth the troubled waters between us. “So I would prefer to call you by the title your people afforded you.”

I’m thankful my mouth is still working, because my mind is reeling. The last time I spoke to this woman she seemed to truly hate me – not that she cared for shifters in general. I’ll never forget the way she sneered the words “your kind” at me that day, foisting blame for the attack onto all wolves as if we’ve all

been cut from the same cloth. Of course that was merely one incident in a hundred. I can’t remember ever having a productive conversation with her throughout the entirety of our acquaintance.

“Thank you.” Sabina answers hesitantly. “Though I want to be very clear that we only agreed to this meeting to hear what you have to say. Those of us in power have known about shifters for some time now, but the last month has inflicted lasting scars on our people. We cannot overlook the violence you have inflicted upon our communities as of late.”

“I understand, and I must tell you that humans are not the only ones suffering under Damon’s rule.” I reply steadily. “Our own people are suffering gravely under his tyranny, and it is our greatest wish to remove him from power.” I turn my gaze on each of the humans individually.” Whatever Dmaon has led you to believe about humans and wolf-kind, I’m here to tell you that he does not speak the truth. We are not all so backwards and violent – we do not all think as he does.”

‘Then how do you think?” A man I don’t recognize inquires.

“Perhaps it would be best if you heard from someone to whom the knowledge of wolf-kind came as a very recent surprise.” Gabriel suggests, nodding to Ella.

My mate leans forward, resting her clasped hands on the table. ‘Thank you, Gabriel,” She begins hesitantly, “It might surprise you to hearthat, despite my current position, I was raised among humans in Moon Valley. In fact, I believed I was human until a couple of months ago, so there are actually a few of you who have been in on the secret even longer than I have.” I watch the humans closely as Ella’s words hit home, noticing a few confused expressions and curious grumbles.

“When Dominic told me about shifters I thought he was out of his mind, until I saw proof which made it impossible to deny. It took a lot of time for me to adjust to the new reality, to understand the way of wolves and my place in this world. I’m still learning every day, and it isn’t easier just because my wolf is now awake. But part of what makes adjusting so difficult is that shifters are as varied and diverse as

any other society.” She pauses, making eye contact with each of the faces on the screen. “I would never dream of meeting someone from Sevka and assuming that they represent every being on that continent. There are good and bad people in every community, and even those designations are misleading, as each of us is the result of the experiences which shaped our lives.”

Ella glances at me for reassurance, and my wolf purrs through our bond as she continues. ‘The point is simply that while shifters share a great deal in common biologically, culture and personality are different matters entirely. Damon is, in my opinion, the worst of the worst. It would be a mistake to judge him for being a wolf, because that isn’t the proper frame of reference. He didn’t take over our home because he’s a shifter, he did it because he’s a power-hungry narcissist with too many resources in reach.” She purses her lips, uncertain about her next piece of advice. “Instead, I would beseech you to remember the centuries of peace we enjoyed living among shifters without ever knowing it.”

“You mean the centuries and centuries you lied to us?” Another human counters gruffly.

“I’m sorry,” Ella sighs, “But what nation hasn’t lied to one another in order to advance their own peoples? Have you all announced every technology, innovation and defense strategy your country employs? Or have you safeguarded sensitive information to avoid greater competition or harm?”

“But we aren’t all separate nations.” One of the activists objects, “as you said, we lived side by side.”

“Side by side, with independent governments.” I chime in, holding my mate a bit closer. “Besides, the secrecy pact did not apply universally. Your leaders knew of shifters, and select humans were brought to work with shifters because of their expertise in their fields. Our governments have been working together all along, and though the secrecy among the general public may not inspire trust, any rational actor can understand why it might feel necessary. We wanted to avoid precisely this scenario.”

“Has it occurred to you that this scenario only occurred because of the secrecy, not despite it?” A legislator asks shrewdly.

‘Yes.” I confess. “You have no idea how that very question has kept me up at night. And though we may all be guilty of perpetuating it, like you we were born into a system our ancestors created. We did what we thought was best, however misguided.” I exhale, letting them see the full weight of my guilt. ‘The point is that right or wrong, shifters only want what is best for our families and our people. We do not want violence and war, we do not want Damon in power.”

Sabina clears her throat, and I hold my breath – praying she won’t say anything to undermine our message. ’The reason I asked you all to join me today is because I have insight from the experience of working with both the Usurper and Alpha Sinclair. Before the coup and my exile to Sevka, I thought much like you did. I put up with shifters because I had no other choice, and I didn’t like it.” She confesses. “Frankly, I believed that Alpha Dominic was full of it. Damon convinced me that his public persona was all a show – that he was nothing more than a con artist who hoped to steal the crown by acting like a moralizing, bleeding heart, charmer.”

“Then the war came, and I saw that I’d believed the wrong man.” Sabina carries on, shamefaced. “Alpha Dominic tried to expose Damon’s crimes, but instead of answering for them the Usurper sped up his plans for takeover. In truth, I’ve come to believe that Dominic’s accusations are the only reason we’ve held off as well as we have – they forced Damon to rush and act before he was ready.”

My jaw drops, and Ella sweetly sets it back in place with one small finger.

Perhaps I’m an idiot, but that possibility – the idea that I might have helped lessen the damage by speaking out when I did – has never occurred to me before. I can’t express how badly I want it to be true, though I know wishful thinking can be a dangerous thing.

“I made the mistake of believing Damon when he told me you weren’t a fit ruler.” Sabina forges on, speaking directly to me now. “When he told me that he would protect humans and wolves alike if he came to power. It isn’t easy to admit just how wrong I was, but it would be an even greater betrayal of my people to do nothing now, when you have reached out to us in friendship.”

Again Sabina looks to the other humans. “We have a common enemy with these shifters, and the situation is dire enough that we cannot be choosy. Luckily that’s not a problem, because Dominic is the ally I would choose above anyone else. He is a good man, a selfless leader who cares more about wolves and humans alike. He is brave enough to stand for the things that truly matter, strong enough to defend us, and smart enough to know when to fight and when to hold off. I encourage all of you to give this alliance your full consideration and spread the word throughout your network. We do not have to be alone in this fight.”

To my amazement, a number of the other humans are nodding in agreement. I can scarcely believe this is really happening, but when I look to my mate, she’s sending me an incandescent smile. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

Chapter 239

We’ve all been on a high ever since our meeting with the humans yesterday. No one expected more than one contact to attend, and we certainly didn’t anticipate Sabina Kelly. I was prepared to have a knock down, drag out fight in order to convince them to even give us a chance, but Moon Valley’s exiled mayor did all the work for us.

We later learned that our initial outreach fell on mostly deaf ears and if it hadn’t been for Sabina, no one would have even considered our offer to talk. It’s actually rather ironic – if Damon hadn’t manipulated the woman she probably wouldn’t have come forward, so his lack of scruples have directly laid the groundwork for his demise. Of course, this is nothing compared to learning that Sinclair may have prevented worse atrocities by moving against Damon when he did – I know that suggestion meant the world to him.

Still, it was not all so easy going. Many of the humans had very real concerns about creating alliances with actors who are basically political unknowns, and others seemed to genuinely struggle with fighting fire with fire. In the end the human representatives agreed to review our plans and provide feedback before undertaking further discussions about joining forces, and we’re scheduled to reconvene next week. My hope is that they’ll follow Sabina’s example by spreading the word and encouraging more of their own allies to join the next meeting, but for the time being it’s a waiting game.

I wish we had time to celebrate, because even though we didn’t quite get a victory, I think it’s important to celebrate the good things while we can. Instead I’m beginning my fourth hypnosis appointment. Sinclair and I agreed to try one last session with Leon before I set out to find my mother, and as happy as I am to have my mate beside me, I’m not looking forward to uncovering another painful episode from my past.

“How are you feeling, trouble?” Sinclair asks, stroking my hair as I lay on the sitting room sofa. His wolf has been even more protective and bossy than usual in the face of my impending departure, and it doesn’t help that I’ve been a walking basket case this morning. He’s done his level best to keep me calm and relaxed up to this point, and now the ether is taking the wheel. My senses are already dulling beneath the familiar fog of the drug – if it wasn’t for the solid cushions around me I might think I’m floating.

‘Twirly.” I answer with a giggle, petting his scruffy jaw and admiring his beautiful green eyes. The edges of his massive shape are blurring, and the room beyond his broad shoulders disappears completely. His face is the only thing in focus, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

‘Twirly hmm?” Sinclair grins, catching my wrist and kissing my palm. He’s already purring, and belatedly I wonder if I can convince him to lie down with me. There’s not really room for both of us on the sofa, but I could lie on top of him or sit in his lap. The mere thought of feeling his arms wrapped around me sends my wolf into a fit of longing.

“You’re too far away.” I complain, not answering his question.

“I’m right here, little wolf.” He reminds me, his deep voice tender. “I’ve got you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“But I want to cuddle.” I pout, trying and failing to remember what else we’re supposed to be doing.

“I will give you all the cuddles your little heart desires as soon as we’re done.” Sinclair promises, tracing his thumb over my protruding lower lip. I nip at the digit, catching it between my sharp fangs and running my tongue over the salty surface. His wolf rumbles in my head and my inner animal shivers with delight. She’s nuzzling and rubbing all over him, but he holds strong, replete with stern amusement.

“I think it may be better if you two had some more space between you.” Leon advises from somewhere behind Sinclair. The sound of his voice makes me jolt, as I’d completely forgotten he’s here.

“I think you should focus on your job and leave my mate to me.” Sinclair counters in a low growl. The nerve of the man. He says through our bond, Telling me what to do with my own, sweet mate. I’ve killed men for less.

Have you really? I ask, not pausing to wonder why the idea of violence delights me so much.

No, but it is tempting. He answers darkly, flashing his fangs and making me giggle again.

“With all due respect Alpha, Ella needs to be able to focus on the session.” Leon replies easily. “Right now she’s so caught up in you that accessing her memories will be impossible.”

Sinclair grumbles in displeasure, but retracts his talented hands. “Alright sweetheart, you heard the mean man.” He tells me regretfully. “We have to focus.” I stretch my neck so I can see past Sinclair and stick my tongue out at Leon, and though he doesn’t say a word I know Sinclair wants to laugh and scold me for being naughty, i

“Okay Ella.” Leon says, clearly trying to take control again. “Close your eyes and let the ether take you back. Forget all your troubles, everything that’s happening in the here and now. Clear your mind and let the memories come to you.” He speaks in the same soporific tone he always uses, but the addition of Sinclair’s steady presence and comforting purrs allow me to fall into the mysterious realm faster than ever. Soon I’m gliding along on a river of consciousness that is neither dream nor reality, strange images swirling through my mind and evoking emotions I can’t quite grasp.

Everything seems surreal and yet out of reach, but I’m becoming used to these altered states and I can’t find much frightening when Sinclair is with me.

“The last time we met, you recalled meeting a mysterious woman at the orphanage Leon prompts.

‘The Goddess.” I correct him, my words slurring slightly.

‘The Goddess,” He agrees, “can you remind me how you felt when you spoke to her?”

“I felt…” I pause, considering the question. “Safe. Loved… like I had a purpose.”

“Is that an unusual feeling for you? Having a purpose?” Leon inquires, latching onto the offered information with the demeanor of a tracker on a scent.

I hadn’t thought about it before, but now that he mentions it… “Yes.” I confirm, my voice suddenly thick with emotion. “That was the only time in my entire childhood that I ever felt as if my life had meaning. As if there was a reason I was put on this earth… I don’t know why though, she was just telling me a story.”

“Because it was your story.” Leon assesses, his voice gentle. “But try not to get too caught up in logic or reason. Just follow that thread… the ether is leading you somewhere, Ella.”

“I don’t know where.” I answer with mild frustration. “It wasn’t fun feeling that way… there were times…” I trail off, balking at the morose emotions bubbling up inside of me.

‘There were times that what?” Leon presses, “keep going.”

And just like that the room dissolves.

I’m 16 years old and it’s the dead of night. I’m standing on a bridge overlooking the frozen river, wondering how cold the water would feel against my skin… wondering how long it would take to pull me under… to freeze me too. Is my body even heavy enough to break through the ice?

Would I simply be crushed against the gleaming surface like a big blonde bug?

Cora’s face appears in my mind and guilt slams into me for even considering this. I can’t leave her alone in the world… but what is there to leave her to? Every day is the same – more pain, more hardship and sorrow. I’ve become skilled at burying the hurt, but my sister suffers every blow as if it’s the first. I can’t stand it. People only seem to want to harm us, and try as I might, I can’t see any way out. I just want it to stop.

But if it stops for me, it would be a new beginning for Cora – and not the good kind. It would drag her to a new depth of despair and leave her vulnerable to everything from which I’ve tried to shield her. I can’t intentionally inflict that kind of harm… but what if it wasn’t intentional…

what if it was merely an unfortunate accident? I could try balancing on the bridge’s railing, and leave the outcome upto fate. If I cross the bridge that way and don’t fall it would be a sign to keep going, and if I do… then at least I know my pain will be at an end.

I’m going to do it. After all… what do I have to lose

 

Chapter 240

I’m about to hoist myself up onto the frozen railing when two robed figures appear on either side of me, their faces both familiar and strange. There’s something about them that sets off alarms in my mind, but not the usual kind. It feels as though I’m trying to remember something from another life … from someone else’s life.

I don’t have the faintest idea where they came from, and I don’t really care. Cora’s safe at the orphanage and it’s not as if they can do worse to me than what I’ve already survived. Maybe this is even fate answering my question, giving me a way out in her typical morbid fashion. Perhaps an icy plunge is too easy an end for me, perhaps I must know one final agony before I go. “Are you here to kill me?” I ask in a voice I don’t recognize.

“Do you want to die?” One asks, leaning his arms against the icy metal.

“It’s not that I want to die.” I hiccup, tears falling from my lashes and freezing against my cheeks. “It’s just that I don’t want to live if this is all life has to offer… and I’m afraid that this is truly all there is for me. I have no reason to believe otherwise.” I shake my head forlornly, “they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. So I would be crazy to think I can keep meeting the sun each morning without inviting more heartache… wouldn’t I?”

‘That depends. What you call crazy, others might call hope.” The second man replies, making no move to look at or touch me. The three of us simply stare out at the frozen expanse with the same melancholy spirit, watching the river rushing below the ice so far below.

“Hope is a privilege for those born in the light.” I reply, not entirely understanding where these words are coming from. “They know that the darkness is only temporary because they don’t belong there…

but how am I to believe in light when I’ve never seen it?”

“And if we were to give you a glimpse of the future?” The first man offers.” If we were to show you a vision of the life you might have one day, if you find the will to believe despite your experiences?”

‘You can do that?” I ask, turning to look at him for the first time.

“Only if you are brave enough to take the risk.” The second answers.

“And only if you are willing to fight for your future.” The first man adds.” The vision we give you will only be a possibility – one in a hundred – of the person you might become if you refuse to give up. It is not guaranteed, and it is not entirely in your control. Countless actions and decisions shape our futures, and we can only tell you that this may come to pass if everything goes right.”

“Show me.” I beg, somehow believing they have this power even though there’s no such thing as magic. Perhaps I’ve lost my mind. Perhaps I’ve already jumped and this is all a hallucination on the brink between worlds.

The robed men take hold of my hands in perfect synchrony, and I let them. As our palms connect a brilliant white light surges between our skin. It’s so bright I have to shut my eyes against the glare, but it does not hurt – it does not burn me as it probably should. Energy surges through my body, so potent and wild that I feel like I’m being electrocuted. I open my mouth to cry out, but before any sound can escape my lips a torrent of color bursts in my mind’s eye.

I see a woman who looks exactly like me, only much older. Her belly is not bloated with hunger, her skin is not lifeless and pale. She’s clean and healthy, wearing a dress which must cost more than everything I’ve ever owned – combined. She moves with such an easy grace, and when she smiles I understand why people tell me I’m beautiful.

The woman is looking at something I cannot see, grinning with an overwhelming joy I can’t even begin to understand. In the next moment I see a man more than twice her size, who is as handsome as he is terrifying. He moves with the lethal grace of a predator, and there’s a vicious edge to his bronzed, raven-haired beauty. He approaches her like a wolf stalking his prey, but she isn’t afraid. He pulls her into his strong arms and kisses her soundly, and when they part she looks down at a tiny bundle in his arms.

They coo and croon over a baby with rose gold hair and a pink bow, pulling faces and tickling the infant’s swaddled tummy. Then a rush of pure exuberance bursts into the serene scene, and three bundles of energy come zooming into sight. There’s a boy around five years old, who is the spitting image of the huge man. He races forward and crashes into his parents’ legs, wrapping his arms around each and grinning mischievously up at them. A pair of toddlers quickly follow, one who appears to be a miniature version of the older boy, and the other an angelic looking girl with the same coloring as the babe.

They pile into the group hug and their father bends down to scoop them up into his arms, balancing the three older children while his wife cradles the youngest. I can hear their laughter, but I can feel it too. Their happiness is foreign to me and yet so contagious, merely watching them makes me feel as if I’ve swallowed the sun. Is that what they feel every day? Is it possible to ever be so full of emotion when the void inside of me is so bottomless?

The vision disappears as quickly as it came, and when I open my eyes again they’re full of tears. “That’s me?” I choke, “I could have a family one day? That family?”

“Only if you are willing to fight for it.” The second man repeats. “Nothing is handed to us in life, especially not this. It will be a difficult road ahead, but there are rewards at the end if you’re brave enough to make the journey.”

“Haven’t I already been through enough?” I ask, wondering why some people do seem to be handed everything, while others must constantly struggle.

‘The trials you’ve overcome have ensured you’re strong enough to win the fight, but you have to enter it yourself. You have to want to win, Ella.” The first man explains.

“How do you know my name?” I ask, but I never get my answer. The men turn and walk away, and ten minutes later I don’t remember meeting them at all. In fact, I don’t remember why I’m out here in the middle of the night or what I’m doing standing on this bridge. Certain I’m going to catch my death from cold, I hurry back to the orphanage and my sister – praying no one noticed my absence.

The memory fades away as Leon calls me back to the present, “Come back to us, now.” He encourages. ‘You did so well.”

“I’m here, Ella.” Sinclair purrs, his lips grazing my tear-stained cheek. “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

I open my eyes and find my mate watching me with shining eyes. His hand rests on my swollen middle, calming our unborn pup as I struggle to resurface. “I saw you.” I tell him in amazement. “I saw you… and Rafe” I recall, remembering the oldest boy in the vision. ‘There were other pups too.”

“I know.” Sinclair beams, kissing me softly. “I know, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

“Does that…” I trail off, trying to wrap my mind around the scene we just witnessed. Unfortunately the ether is still in control, and I almost lose my train of thought. “Does that mean we’re fated somehow?”

Sinclair frowns. “Wolves only get one fated mate, sweetheart. I think that was just a possibility of our paths crossing one day if you chose to live. You heard what the priests said – nothing they showed you was guaranteed.”

“But you told me sometimes mates are fated, not because they’re good together, but in order to become the people they’re meant to be.” I remind him stubbornly, hoping that my logic is being guided by evidence and not the ether. “I was born to unite humans and wolves in this war, and you were destined to lead the resistance. You had to be with Lydia in order to become the man you are today… to this point in your life without children so that you would turn to the sperm bank precisely when I did. If you hadn’t then my wolf would never wake and we would never have Rafe… what is that if not fate?”

Sinclair smiles tenderly, “Maybe you’re right… after all, these sessions have taught us that shifters don’t understand our world nearly as well as we think we do. Maybe it’s possible to have more than one destined mate.”

For a long moment we get completely lost in each other’s eyes, and before too long all the twirly sensations I’d been feeling earlier come surging back at full force. However we don’t get to indulge ourselves for too long because, ever the therapist, Leon finds a way to bring us back down to earth.

“Ella, I think we might be better served addressing the things which took you to that bridge in the first place.” Leon suggests.

“Leon?” Sinclair responds, not taking his eyes off of me.

‘Yes, Alpha?” The therapist inquires eagerly.

Put a sock in it.