Ch. 121..130

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 121-No. This can’t be happening to me. I can’t be pregnant. Not now and definitely not with Ethan’s baby.

“Why God?” I whisper as the tears fall down my face.

I wait for an answer but none comes. He doesn’t tell me why this was happening to me. He doesn’t tell me why he had to make me this unlucky.

I try to pick myself from the bathroom floor, but I just don’t have the energy. I’m completely drained.

Was it my lot in life to have unplanned pregnancies? First with Noah and now this one.

I stare sightlessly at the tiled floor, thinking back. Ethan and I had unprotected S** once. I was supposed to take a morning after pill, but I completely forgot. By the time I remembered, a few days had already passed.

I told Ethan about it. I expected him to be angry about it, but he wasn’t. Instead he calmed me down. We both reasoned that it was unlikely for me to be pregnant.

I noticed some changes, like my period being late, but I thought it was due to the stress I was under. I never gave much thought to my increase in appetite since I always eat when I’m stressed or sad.

The banging on my door startles me, but I don’t get up. Now more than before, I didn’t want to see anybody. When the banging continues, I put my head between my knees and cover my ears. I just wanted whoever it is to leave.

It becomes silent for a while. I breathe a sigh of relief but then start to panic when I hear the door open.

and heavy footsteps walking upstairs.

Before I can do anything, like maybe hide, in case it was an intruder. A shadow fills the door way to my bathroom.

“Ava?” Rowan’s deep voices resonates through the entire room.

The moment my eyes meet with his, I start crying again. Of all people, why did it have to be him?

“What are you doing here?” I ask through my sobs.

He comes and kneels before me, his eyes staring at me with an emotion I can’t figure out.

“Emma told me she saw you at the store. She said you looked hysterical and that you bought a bunch of pregnancy tests before leaving” he tells me softly, his fingers wiping away my tears.

Damn it Emma and her big mouth! What the hell did she think she’ll accomplish by telling Rowan that I bought pregnancy tests?

“She shouldn’t have told you. It’s none of her business neither is it yours” I hiss.

He doesn’t react instead he asks. “Have you taken the test?” I just nod my head as more tears fill my eyes.

“And?” I don’t answer him. I just couldn’t bring myself to admit what the test informed me.

When I don’t answer he surveys the room. His eyes land on them laying near the sink. He stands up and goes to check them. I should be fucking angry that he was violating my privacy, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not when I had much more important things to worry about.

He comes back and this time instead of kneeling before me. He instead sits next to me.

“Congratulation. You’re going to be a great mother” he tell me an odd catch in his voice.

I lay my head on his shoulder as I speak. “Am I? You didn’t ever want to have another baby with me even though I wanted one desperately. I thought it’s because you thought I was a bad mother” I was always so insecure when it came to Rowan. I knew the real reason. He didn’t want another baby because he was holding out hope that Emma will come back. I lied to myself because it was better to think he thought I wasn’t a good mother than to acknowledge that he just didn’t want a baby with me.

“I’ve never thought you’re a bad mother, Ava. You’re the fucking best. One just has to look at the relationship between you and Noah to know it’s true” he pauses. “Can I tell you something?”

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 122-I nod my head.

was always jealous of the bond you have with Noah. I still am* he confesses. I lift my head in shock.

“Really?” I still can’t believe that Rowan was right now sitting on the bathroom floor with me. The Rowan I know wouldn’t have cared at all, let alone wipe away my tears.

“Yeah” he answers

We stay in silence after that. I soon start feeling drowsy. I don’t know when I slept or how he carried me to my bed. The last thing I felt before falling into deep sleep, was his lips on my forehead.

When I wake up, it’s midafternoon the next day. I find breakfast on my side table. Which was probably cold.

I get out of bed and make an appointment with my gynecologist. I take a quick shower then get dressed. I still felt tired and worn out.

I wasn’t hungry so I ignore the food. I didn’t know who brought it, but my guess is that it was Rowan.

I Getting into my car, I fire it up and drive as slowly as I can. Trying to delay getting to the doctor’s office. I get there after almost an hour since I left. Taking a deep breath, I get out and walk towards the private clinic.

There are women inside with their husbands. It takes me back to when I was pregnant with Noah, Rowan never accompanied me to any of my appointments. I was even shocked that he insisted to be with me in the room when I was giving birth, given he showed little care for me and the baby I was expecting.

Pushing those away, I give the secretary my details and take a seat, while I wait for my name to be called.

“Ava Sharp” I’m finally called after about forty five minutes.

I stand up and walk to Dr. Raven’s office.

“Good to see you, Ava. So what can I do for you this fine afternoon?” she asks as she takes a seat.

“I was hoping to get an ultrasound. I took a pregnancy test yesterday and they were positive, but I just wanted a confirmation” I wring my hands. Completely nervous and nearing a heart attack, 1/2 “That can be arranged. Why don’t you lay on the bed, while I set up things?” she asks kindly and I nod I get up on the bed and stare at the ceiling I tried calming my beating heart, but it was of no use.

Please pull your top I do as she says, my hands shaking. She squirts the gel on my stomach and begins moving the wand around.

“You’re definitely pregnant. Around three months along.” she says happily just as the sound of a steady beating heart fills the room.

I blink back the tears and grip the hem of my top. She sounded happy as she delivered the news, wasn’t.

Everything a but I that is a blur. She cleans me up and gives me instructions. Talking about diets and vitamins. I leave her office and pass by her secretary’s desk. She gives me a date for my next appointment and prints for me the images of the baby.

After everything is done, I leave like the hell hounds of hell were after me.

I was numb as I drove. I had held hope. Hope that the tests were false. It’s know to happen that they aren’t accurate. I was hoping that it will be the same for my case.

Instead here I am. Driving, with the real proof that I was expecting Ethan’s baby laying in the backseat.

I drive for a while not sure where I am, until I finally park. I get out and robotically walk towards the cliff.

How can I be happy about this baby? I didn’t want him or her. I didn’t want a baby conceived out of deceit and lies. A baby with the same man that tried his hardest to end my life.

How can I look at him or her and not feel any type of resentment? I wanted to forget my time with Ethan. This baby will make sure I don’t. He or she will be a reminder of how his or her father betrayed me.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 123-All I had to do was to take a step forward. Just one step and everything will end.

There won’t be any more pain, or sadness or heartache. I would be free of the constant darkness that was drowning me I hear a car in the distance, but I don’t turn. I still don’t turn when a door slams.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Ava?” Rowan’s voice growls from behind me.

I don’t turn even as the wind picks up. I feel its force. As if it was also urging me to make that one step.

“Ava, please. Step away from the cliff. Come to me” I feel his presence as he slowly approaches me, but I don’t step back.

I was so tired. Tired of crying. Tired of hurting. Tired of the constant fucking pain.

I was so fucking tired of fighting. The pain was constant. Always there. Slowly killing me. Reducing me to someone I didn’t want to see.

“I don’t think I can do this, Rowan. I just want it all to stop. I want to know what peace is because I haven’t had it since I was born. I just don’t have it in me to keep fighting anymore” I cry, feeling worn out.

“Killing yourself isn’t the answer” he says, just as he grabs me and pulls me back.

I had been so distracted that I didn’t notice how close he had gotten.

“Let go of me! Let me go right now. Let me end this once and for all” I scream, thrashing in his hands, Needing him to let me go..

“Snap out of it Ava!” he shouts back at me. Refusing to let go. “Think about Noah, are you going to leave him motherless? Are you going to leave him with the pain of losing his beloved mother at such a young age? What about you’re unborn child, are you so fucking selfish and cruel that you would kill an innocent baby? Your own flesh and blood” he shakes me, his face hardening with each word he says.

At the mention of Noah’s name. I stop fighting him.

“Rowan…” “No! I don’t care what you think right now or if you’ll even hate me later, but I’m booking you an appointment with a therapist. You’re going to work on your issues and you’re going to be the best goddamn mother to your two children and you will love them both unconditionally despite who their father is or so help me God, Ava, I will…” he doesn’t finish his sentence but I get what he’s saying.

He was breathing hard, grey storms raging in his eyes. His hands tightening around me as if he was afraid of letting me go, 15 BONUS I sink in his arms. The fight completely leaving me. He picks me up bridal style, holding me close as i feel his erratic beating heart His cologne washes over me and I calm down.

“How did you find me?” I ask as he walks us to his car.

“1 will always find you, Ava” he replies firmly. “Always” “Thank you, for pulling me back today” I tell him as I sink deeper into his warmth, feeling ashamed that! contemplated taking my life and that of my baby.

His reply is a soft kiss to my cheek then my temple.

I sigh. Rowan was right. Noah didn’t deserve to lose his mom and my unborn child didn’t deserve to lose his or her life at my hands. They deserve to live fully and have a mom that loved them so much.

I was going to make a couple of changes. One of them being pushing my bitterness and anger aside and facing Ethan. He needed to know that he was going to be a father. Which means I have to make a trip to prison.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 124-Rowan Fuck! In my hand through my hair as I watch her sleep. Tears tracks were still visible on her cheeks and it breaks me seeing her so broken.

Ava has always been fucking good at hiding her feelings. Today she didn’t and it was fucking raw. It was drowning her and without even her realizing it, she was drowning me along with her.

I take a seat near her sleeping form. I push my fingers through her hair as I massage her scalp gently.

How the fuck have I never realized how soft and thick her hair is? It was bliss just touching it.

She sighs in her sleep in contentment. Her face relaxed. All the pain from earlier melted away. In her sleep, she’s at a peace. She doesn’t have shadows accosting her.

I know it’s fucking creepy, but watching her sleep has become my favorite thing.

I did the same thing yesterday and here I am doing it today. She’s so beautiful it hurts. Even with dark under eyes, she’s still stunning. I don’t know the fuck I ever thought she couldn’t compare to Emma.

I softly kiss her cheeks before standing up. I am reluctant to leave. I fight the part of me that wants to pull the covers and slide in next to her. I don’t know where this need is coming from.

It was never there when we were married. Back then, I didn’t want her next to me. I always avoided cuddling. Right now though, it’s all I can fucking think of.

I force myself to leave her room and walk out of her house. Taking a breath, I contemplate going back, but I don’t. I know she won’t appreciate me being in bed with her. She might have accepted my comfort, but that doesn’t mean she’s forgiven me for my part in hurting her.

I haven’t even asked for her forgiveness for heaven’s sake. I should and I will. I just need her to be more stable when I do.

I take out my phone and call my twin. He picks up on the first ring.

“Meet me at the club” I tell him before hanging up.

I don’t have to wait for his reply. I just know that he will be there.

I give Ava’s house one last look before I jump into my car and drive away. About half an hour later, I’m at one of my clubs. I enter through the VIP entrance that’s only meant for me, Gabe and any of the visitors we bring.

“Sir” the bouncer greets. I nod at him then enter the club.

The damn music was loud and it was giving me a headache. Moving fast as the bouncer parts the way for me, we get to my private booth where things are much quieter.

He proceeds to stand guard at the entrance. It’s not once or twice that women tried gate crashing just to get free drinks.

My personal bartender walks in with my drink and hands it to me. I don’t have to tell him what I take, he already knows. Just like he knows what Gabe and Travis take “What’s got you in such foul mood?” Gabe asks walking in.

He’s your younger than me by three minutes. While he’s the outgoing and social one. I’m the brooding antisocial twin.

“Nothing” I mumble leaning back in my chair.

I still can’t get the fucking image of Ava on the cliff. The way she was so close to the edge. It all but killed me when she took a hesitant step forward. The fear that had encased me was like nothing like I’ve ever felt. It was tangible and it suffocated me My heart honestly stopped and I saw my fucking life flash before my eyes. She was so broken and I wanted nothing more than to piece her back together.

I don’t know what I would have done if I had been late. I don’t know why, but I know that if she had died then my heart would have died with her.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 125-“You forget I know you better than you know yourself brother” he takes a seat opposite me “Ava” her name slips out of my mouth in an anguished tone “You care about her” “Of course I fucking care about her. She’s the mother of my son” I snap at him, frustrated The whole thing was frustrating me. She was spiraling out of control and I just didn’t know how to help. her. I didn’t know how to be what she needs. I’ve spent

so much time pushing her away, that I don’t know what makes her tick.

“It’s more than that big brother, you just refuse to open your fucking eyes and see it” he drawls.

He’s been on and on about that one issue. That my concern for Ava stem from feelings that ran much deeper. We keep arguing about that. I think I would fucking know if I was in love with her. I care about her, and I have feelings I can’t describe, but love? I don’t think so.

“How’s she doing?” he asks when I don’t say anything else.

“She’s pregnant” He stares and me with wide eyes and an open jaw. “With Ethan’s baby?” “Who else would she pregnant for?” I ask him in irritation.

When I found out yesterday, something just shifted inside me. Knowing she was expectant with that bastard’s baby just made everything more real. I had been blocking the knowledge that she had slept with Ethan out.

When I found out, there was this primal part of me that wanted to kill Ethan for touching what’s mine.

After that I blocked it out. Tried pretending that it didn’t happen because that’s the only way I could calm myself down. Her pregnancy now was proof that she did sleep with another man and for some reason it fucking hurts and drives me insane knowing that.

It’s completely unreasonable. I wanted her to move on. I wanted her to leave me alone. I was planning to woe Emma and marry her later on. Yet now that I know that Ava had moved on.

Moved on to the point she felt comfortable enough to let another man touch. I feel like a fucking piece of me died. I can’t explain it and I don’t know why, but I feel lost.

“So what is she going to do?” he pulls me back to the present with his question, “I don’t know” I whisper, staring at the amber liquid in my glass I debate telling him what happened at the cliff, but I stop myself. She has been through too much already.

I wasn’t going to tell my brother what she tried doing in her darkest moment.

She deserved to be protected and that was what I was going to do.

Sir, this came in for you” Mike, my bartender hands me a small envelope.

He leaves immediately after.

“What is it?” Gabe asks curiously, moving to the edge of his seat.

“I don’t know” I tell him as I open it.

A piece of paper falls out. I unfold it and read it.

[I’m not one to go after kids, so you can rest assured that I won’t go after your son. I can’t say the same. for the rest of your loved ones though. I’m coming for you Rowan and everyone you hold dear] It was signed in the Reapers insignia.

I should fear, but I don’t. All that registers is that they won’t go after Noah. That’s all that matters to me right now.

I never want to feel the fear I felt when I saw her on that cliff. It was time for Noah to come home. He has always been Ava life line, and now more than ever she needs him.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 126-Ava.

I’m clearing the house. A thorough cleaning just to keep my mind off things. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’m pregnant.

When Rowan rejected the idea of us having another baby. I all but gave up on giving Noah a sibling. Now!

have another baby on the way and I didn’t know how to feel.

My phone rings and I pick it up. Normally I would have refused to pick up, but not today. Pushing those close to me away wasn’t doing me any good… “Hi Letty” I murmur while sitting down.

I’ve been so tired of late. I should have known that there was something more to it.

“Oh my God. You picked up. I thought you wouldn’t” she screams through the phone before sniffing. “I missed hearing your voice. It’s been weeks” “I’m sorry.” I release a breath. “I just didn’t know how to handle everything so I pushed you away” I’ve never been good at communicating my feelings. I’ve never been good at even acknowledging them.

When I’m stressed or over emotional, I shut down. I try to bury them so that I can function properly.

Pushing my emotions down is usually better than acknowledging them. Now I know that isn’t healthy at all “Are you okay now?” “Not all the way, but I will be” I assure her.

I don’t know how I plan to do that, but I was going to come out of this stronger.

I still can’t believe that I thought of killing myself and my own child. I may not know how to feel, but this baby was my blood. Just like Noah is. I plan to be a good mother. I plan to be the best mother to him or her.

I shake those thoughts away. I don’t want to think of how low I had hit. I don’t want to think of what I almost did.

“I’m pregnant” I whisper, when she doesn’t say anything after a while.

“What?” She shrieks in surprise. “When did you find out?” “About a week ago” 11/1 Just like with Noah, this baby is unexpected and unplanned. That won’t stop me from loving him or her I I always wanted another child. I may not like his or her father right now, but it’s not their fault.

“Oh darling, congratulations” she tells me as the surprises fades and joy fills her tone “You sound happy about the news. I thought you wouldn’t, given who the father is” “I am. I truly believe that a baby is a blessing, and this baby is who you need to pull you through the heartache you’ve recently been through. This baby is your saving grace. He or she came to you just in time.” She takes a deep breath as emotions clogs her voice.

“You were drowning. Ava. I could see it. Everyone could see it. I believe this baby has done what no one else has managed to do. Pulling you out of the darkness” I think about what she’s said and it’s true. It’s because of Noah and this child that I want to get better.

That I’m willing to get the help I need.

“Thank you for trying Letty. Even when I kept pushing you away, you still kept trying. You never gave up on me” I was close to tears.

Every single thing makes me emotional now.

“You’re my bestfriend. More like the sister I never had. Of course I wouldn’t give up on you because I know you would do the same” We catch up after that. Moving away from serious conversations. By the time we say goodbye and hang 1. up. It was an hour or so later.

It felt nice talking to her. I didn’t realize how much I had missed her. Just how lonely I had been these past few weeks. I felt more like myself, now. I wasn’t quite there yet, but I was on my way.

I finish cleaning and I am exhausted by the time I am done. I collapse on the sofa, just as I hear my front door open.

I frown. Who the hell would dare enter my house without knocking or ringing the bell?

My question is answered when I hear his sweet voice.

“Mommy! Mommy I am home!” he screams.

A big smile takes over my face and I stand up. I rush out of the living room just as he breaks through the entry way.

“Noah!”

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 127-Kissing him all over his face, I hold him tighter.

“Mom!” he giggle, but he doesn’t push me away.

“I’ve missed you so much! How are you here right now?” I ask him as I pull away a little though I don’t let him go.

We were both on the floor, but I didn’t care. I was just so fucking happy to have him here with me.

“Dad, came for me. He said you needed me. It was supposed to be a surprise, that’s why I didn’t tell you when we talked yesterday” It was only after he mentions his father that I realize Rowan was standing before him. Our eyes lock. I see an emotion in his eyes, but I just can’t figure out what it is.” I “Hi” I say softly.

He has been by my house everyday just to check up on. He has been supportive and kind. Something that still surprises me. He was so different from the Rowan I was used to that I didn’t know how to react to this version of him.

True to his words, he got me a therapist who I began seeing three days ago.

Every time he does something nice, I’m left surprised by his action. It was so unlike him.

“Hey, Ava….how are you today?” he asks with a small smile.

“I’m good” I shrug. I was making steps to get better and that’s what matters.

Noah pulls at my sleeves and I look at him. “Is it true that you’re having a baby?” I glare at Rowan who looks at me sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

“Yes” I tell him in fear.

He has never said anything about wanting a sibling, so I don’t know how he’ll to react.

I’m surprised when a huge smile takes over his face and he bumps his fist in the air.

“Oh man, this is so cool” he screams in happiness. “Can you make the baby be a girl? I always wanted a baby sister“.

His joy eases something in my heart. A bit of the panic I had settles down. If Noah is okay with me having another baby, then everything will work out.

+15 BONUS “It doesn’t work like that, baby” I gently explain it to him. “It’s a fifty fifty percent chance, so it might be a boy” “No! It’s a girl mommy. I’m going to get a baby sister because that’s what I want and I always get what I want” his face is etched in determination, Right now he looks so much like Rowan that it’s really uncanny.

“I didn‘ “Noah…” I didn’t want him to be disappointed if in case the baby is boy.

“No” he goes to argue but Rowan cuts him off.

“Buddy, could you give me and your mom a chance to talk?” he looks between the two of us before nodding his head and going upstairs.

I had made a live video and given him a tour of the house, so he knows where his bedroom is.

“How did you know I needed him?” I ask him standing up.

He shrugs his shoulder. “Call it instincts, I can’t really explain it” “I’m happy to see him, but isn’t it unsafe for him? The Reaper’s still remain a threat even if we haven’t heard from them” He sighs “Don’t worry about that, they won’t hurt Noah. I can’t promise about the rest, but Noah isn’t a target and for me that’s all that matters” I don’t feel particular anything when he mentions the rest. Like he said, Noah is my main concern. Apart from Letty, the others could burn in hell.

“Thanks for bringing him back and for everything you done for me” I tell him genuinely. He has done a lot for me these past few days, and I’ll always be grateful.

“Anything for you, Ava.” I frown when he says that. It was so weird hearing him say that when he has never really cared about me.

I was tempted to check his forehead. Just to make sure that he doesn’t have a fever.

Before I can dwell on why he’s changed so much. Running footsteps echo as they come down the stairs.

“Mom! My room is awesome…It looks better than in the video” he screeches.

I smile. It really doesn’t matter why Rowan has changed. It shouldn’t be my concern. Beside I’ve got so many things to think about. Like how the hell I was going to face Ethan tomorrow.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 128-When I put my plan in motion, I never expected to fall in love with her. That was the biggest hindsight known that has ever happened to me.

I thought it would be easy. Just kill her and I would have everything I’ve worked for. I didn’t know that it would turn out to be harder than anything I’ve ever done.

Ava isn’t the kind of woman you ignore. She isn’t the type of woman you brush aside. She’s the type your fall in love. The kind of woman who makes you want

to be a better man.

I knew the moment I started falling in love with her. I tried preventing it, but it was impossible. It was similar to trying to avoid a head on collision. It was just nearly impossible.

I When I realized I had fallen for her, I tried fixing things but it was already too late. The damage had been done and I knew that it was only a matter of time before the truth came out.

Instead of letting her go and backing away, I held on to her for the little time I knew I had with her.

Hurting her will always be my biggest regret. Her pain was mine too. While her heart was breaking, mine was breaking alongside hers. I destroyed a future we might have had because of greed and if she never forgave, I would understand “Ethan, you got a visitor” a guard says.

I refused to see my parents every time they came to see me, I was fucking ashamed. They took me in.

They loved me. They gave me their name and I turned around and stabbed them in the back by trying to kill their biological daughter.

I don’t understand how they can still want to see me or be near me. If I were them, I wouldn’t have been so forgiving.

“Ethan…” he shouts. I turn back and give him a cold look.

For a moment I think of telling him to tell them I don’t want to see them, but something stops me.

Something prevents the words from coming out.

I nod my head and he gestures to my hands. After extending them, he handcuffs me, before leading me out of my cell.

I’m a new bee here, but no one dares to touch. Mainly because I’m a tough motherfucker and I don’t take shit lying down.

+15 BONUS I walk out and freeze. The last person I expected to come see me was seated in the furthest corner. I walk slowly as if I was in a daze. Unable to believe that Ava was actually here.

The guard, unlocks my cuffs.

“Ava?” i choke out as I take a seat and face her.

I memorize her face. Knowing that this is probably the last time I would see her.

She was most likely here to get closure. Most women seek that, before moving on.

She wrings her hand as she looks at me. It’s not long before she’s dropping her eyes. As if just looking at me was causing her pain. Seeing her beautiful face just makes all I’ve lost the more real. I will never have her again. Never have a future with her. I’ll never make her my wife nor will I get to see her belly growing with my kid.

I feel the loss deep inside my bones. My cold beating heart hurting in a way that it has never before.

Because of my own greed, I lost the only women I’ve ever and probably will ever love.

“I didn’t know whether to come or not. Whether you’ll even care or not, but I just had to come” she says in a small unsure voice.

The fucking grip around my heart tightens. The fact that she’s unsure while talking to me, just shows how much I’ve broken her. All the progress she was able to make was destroyed by my betrayal, “What is it, Ava?” I ask her, my voice softening.

I wanted to hold her, I just wasn’t sure if she would let me. If she would pull away. She was no longer mine, so I had no rights to her.

She takes a deep breath. “-1” She’s unable to finish the sentence. My brows pull together as I try to stem the worry inside. Was something wrong? Why was she having a hard time telling me what was eating her up?

“Ava…” “I’m pregnant” she whispers, looking down at the table.

I still. Sure that I hadn’t heard her correctly. She said she was pregnant, but that couldn’t be the fucking case.

“What?” “I’m pregnant.” She repeats. “I found out a week ago and got it confirmed. I’m around three months along.” +15 BONUS I can’t believe that I was going to be a father. That Ava and I managed to create life together. I still remember the way her body felt against mine. How making love to her felt like fucking heaven.

I was honestly honored that she was carrying my child. I wouldn’t have picked a better mother for my baby.

 

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 129-Just as that thoughts crosses my mind another one crashes inside my head painfully.

“You’re here to tell me you don’t want the baby and are getting an abortion, right?” I ask her stiffly, every joint in my body locking.

She looks up sharply at me. Fire burning inside those brown orbs. For a moment I see the old Ava back.

The one she was becoming before I broke her.

“Why the hell would you think that?” she snaps. “I admit, when I found out I wasn’t in my right frame of mind and I thought the baby would be better off not being born, but I quickly came back to my senses.

I heave a sigh of relief. I don’t know what I would have fucking done if she had told me she didn’t want to have my baby.

“I came to tell you because I wanted to know what you want to do. I know that you don’t really care about me so maybe you wouldn’t care about the baby too. Do you want to be in his or her life?” I think about it before answering “No” It pained me to say it, but the baby was better off without me I am a monster for what I did to Ava.

She’s silent for a while, before she stands up and picks up her bag My head falls forward. Hiding the pain that I was feeling inside.

She goes to leave, but then she stops and sits back down “Why?” she demands. Is it because you were just using me?” “What can I offer him or her? I’m in prison, Ava By the time I get out, he or she will be an adult. I’ll miss all the milestones, I’ll never get to be a real father to them, plus who wants a dad that would do such despicable things to their mom?” I ask, desperate to have her understand She doesn’t say anything for a while. I think I’ve made her see reason, but she surprises me.

“I know, but you’re their father. Whether you’re in prison or not, it won’t change that. You can be with us through every milestone, Ethan. I can include you if you want. You never have to miss anything. This baby derserves to know his or her father and your child will love you despite your sins, you just have to be there for them” “You’re willing to bring our baby here for visitations?” I ask in surprise “Yes” I stare at her in surprise. Ava was truly phenomenal. I don’t understand how the hell Rowan was able to resist falling in love with her for the nine years they were together.

“Thank you” I tell her, my voice so full of emotion.

She nods her head and begins to stand. “I need to go, but I’ll be in touch. I’ll reach out again after my next appointment. In the meantime you can have this” She gives me a copy of a scan. It doesn’t take long to figure out what I’m looking at. I’m not an emotional man, but tears fill my fucking eyes.

1 care about you” I tell her before she can leave.

At my words, she stops and turns to face me.

“W–what?” “I’ll hate myself more if you leave without hearing me.” I breathe out. “I fucking love you, Ava. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, but it did. I love you with every beating of my heart” Her breath hitches and mist fills her eyes. “You have to know that it’s too late now” she whispers.

“I know. I fucked up, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I fell fast and hard for you” “I saw a future with you, you know that? It was so tangible and bright. My feelings for you were blooming. I was on my way to giving you my whole heart. Broken pieces and all. Instead you destroyed everything” I stand, unable to take the crashing pain. I knew she was fond of me and liked my company. I didn’t know that she had developed feelings for me. That she was on her way to falling in love with me.

That knowledge was killing me. Destroying me from the inside out. I lost everything and because of my foolishness, I couldn’t be an ever present father to my child. Because of my stupidity, I’m now missing out on having a great woman by my side.

“Will you ever forgive me?” I ask brokenly.

“Maybe some time later in the future, but not right now” I Before I can think and back out, I pull her into my arms and kiss her with a passion that’s suffocating.

knowing very well that this is the last time I’ll ever kiss her. That this is the last time she’ll ever allow me to kiss her.

This was our goodbye kiss. Deep down I know that I’ve lost my chance with her.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 130-Ava I sat at a private booth enjoying a piece of cake. Noah was spending the night at Rowan’s so I was child free tonight.

I was feeling good for some reason. In that good feeling. I decided to grab something to eat. I was in the mood for some comfort food. That’s why I was currently here eating dessert like I’ve been starved for

days.

My visit to prison was eventful. I had fully expected Ethan to tell me he doesn’t want the baby. Instead I got more than I had bargained for.

His confession of love left me feeling empty in a way. He had to understand that it was too late now. I wouldn’t ever think about being with him. He tried killing me for heaven’s sake! If I go back to him, what does that say about me?

I wasn’t cruel enough to deny him his rights as a father. Even if I didn’t want to see him personally. I could always ask Nora to take the baby to him. That was the furthest I was willing to go. The biggest effort I was willing to make when it came to Ethan. Anything beyond that would be downright stupid.

I decided that I was done with men. I mean no good can come out of chasing love. I wanted love from two men and what I got was heartbreak and pain.

It was time for me to give up on love, because the way I see it, it doesn’t want me. It never has. I am learning to make peace with that. Now I was going to focus on being my best version. Focus on being the best mother.

I push another piece of cake in my mouth and moan. It felt like heaven as the taste explodes in my mouth.

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get fat? I mean you already are, but I fear you will get fatter” the shrill voice makes me snap my eyes open.

I groan when I open my eyes and find Anita staring at me with a mean look.

Behind her were some of her co–workers. They laugh when they hear her insulting me, but I honestly don’t care. Right now they were all insignificant.

She was one of Rowan’s financial advisors and as you can tell, she doesn’t like me. She and Christine have always been on the ‘hate Ava boat‘.

I never really understood where their hate came from. Sure I was married to Rowan. Who they both wanted, but anyone with a brain could tell that Rowan hated my guts.

+15 BONUS “I’m talking to you fat bitch” she screeches when I continue to ignore her.

“Sure, talk away. Doesn’t mean I have to listen to a fucking word you say I respond before drinking a glass of juice.

Back when we married, I always kept quiet when she would say awful things to me. I was so desperate to please Rowan, to get him to like me, that I let his workers walk all over me. Part of me wanted to believe he was oblivious to their mean treatments, but I just can’t let myself think that he didn’t know.

“You think you’re something now that you’re apparently rich?” she sneers. “I bet you got your money by getting on your back” At that, I laugh. These kind of women are so insecure that they think everyone gets to the top by spreading their legs.

I speak after my laugh dies down. “I’m not you, Anita” “You bitch! How dare you” she goes to lunge at me, but I stand up and glare at her.

I was done letting these stupid idiots walk over me.

I snap, my eyes narrowing in slits. “The Aval Take one more step towards me and you’re going to regret you knew took your insults lying down, I promise I won’t. You push me, I’ll push back harder and I fucking swear you won’t like what I do” She looks behind her, before fixing her green eyes on me. She dragged her friends to my table expecting to humiliate me. The jokes on her, though.

“Are you threatening me?” she walks towards me, trying to intimidate me.