Ch. 181..190

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 181-I sit on the bench nervously as I wait for Ava. I know she’s going to be pissed, but I can’t help this intense need to be around her. This intense need to be there for her.

I She’d refused to tell me the date for her next appointment, so I went ahead and got it myself. I know that makes me a F***ing bastard because I keep pushing,

but I am used to getting my way. And right now, what I want is to be by her side. 1 If I had my way, I would have gone and picked her up. Instead I decided to come here instead seeing as I’ve already gone against her wishes.

It’s been so long since I’ve been this nervous. The first and last time I was this nervous was when I had S** for the first time. I was thirteen and didn’t know exactly what the F* I was doing. It had been terrible given I had blown my load within seconds, leaving the girl I was F*ing unsatisfied.

Pushing those thoughts away, I focus on the door. I was a bit early. I knew I had to wait a while before she arrives.

“Rowan? What are you doing here?” her voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I don’t know how long I’d been seated in that bench waiting for her. I’d been so focused that I had missed her arrival.

I turn to face her and my breathe catches. She was so Fing beautiful. She didn’t even have to try. How the hell had I never noticed this before? How the F did I think that she couldn’t hold a candle to Emma?

Some might say it’s the pregnancy glow, but I F***ing disagree. Emma did her make up every day. She wouldn’t leave the house until she looked perfect.

Ava on the other hand didn’t have to try. I’ve seen her without make these past few weeks. With dark circles under her eyes. Yet she never looked more perfect to me.

I clear my throat before answering “I told you I’d be there for your every appointment” I see a cloud pass over her face. She was pissed. Really F***ing pissed. She was going to blow up on me, but it honestly didn’t even bother me.

My eyes freely and casually run down her figure. She was wearing a figure hugging dress that not only showed her curves, but her baby bump as well. She looked S**y in a pregnant sort of way.

After roaming her b*dy, my eyes go back to her captivating brown ones. She opens her mouth and I know!

face, bring her bdy next to mine and kss her forehead.

She freezes. Her b*dy locking as she’s stunned by my actions.

My l*ps linger on her skin for a little while. I know I should let her go, but this just felt so Fing right. It’s like she was always meant to be in my arms and she would have been if I hadn’t been so Fing foolish and stubbor I gently let her go. Her eyes were wide and her mouth dropped in shock.

“What the F*** Rowan?” she asks angrily when she recovers. “Why the hell did you do that?” “Because I wanted to. So I did” I say with a shrug.

Before she can say anything else, her name is called. She gives me a scathing glare before she stompst away. I follow her with a small smile. My eyes trained on the swing of her hips.

Getting to the doctor’s office, we find everything already set up.

“Good to see you, Ava” doctor Raven say with a smile before turning to me.

“And you too Mr. Woods” “You too Raven” Ava replies while I just nod my head.

I was surprised to find out that Doctor Raven is the same doctor Ava went to when she was pregnant with Noah. That she’s the same doctor that delivered Noah and now she was going to do the same for this baby.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 182-“You know the drill dear, just go over there and change, then come back and we can see how our little bean is doing” Taking the dressing gown from her, Ava goes into the changing room. Minutes later she emerges and then lays down on the bed.“Today we are going to do a transvaginal scan before doing the normal scan.” Doctor Raven says.“Is there something I should be concerned about?” “No, it something I do for all my patients! It’s just to make sure the cervix is healthy.” She smiles at Ava.” Now, I’m going to insert this into your vagina, let me know if it gets uncomfortable for you, okay?” Ava flashes me a look before nodding. I don’t get what she has to be embarrassed about. Incase she’s forgotten, I’ve seen her n*ked before.She pulls her legs up and Doctor Raven goes to work. Once she’s done, she does the normal scan before switching off the machines.“Everything is good. You’re doing well and so is your baby. I’m glad this pregnancy is easy unlike with Noah’s case” Doctor Raven says as Ava sits up.“What do you mean as with Noah’s case? Did she have a difficult pregnancy?” F***, what the hell did I miss while I was busy drowning myself in alcohol because I had lost Emma.Raven opens her mouth, but Ava cuts her off before she can say anything.“Nothing” Ava’s rushes to say, but I know she’s lying because of the way her voice gets high–pitched at the end.She then jumps down and literally runs to the changing room.Doctor Raven, gives me a sad smile before leaving the room. After a couple of minutes, Ava comes back fully dressed. She doesn’t say a thing as she takes her belongings and leaves. I follow behind her like a lost puppy.We get to reception area. She gets the date for her next appointment and gets the pictures of her baby.My phone rings and I take it absent mindedly.“What?” I knew who the second picture belonged to. Ethan. I hate that she’s in contact with him, but I also applaud Ava is an angel. She decided to do the right thing when it came to both Noah and the child she is expecting. After all, I wasn’t a saint during the nine years we were together, yet she still let me have access to Noah. She never even told him anything bad about me though I was a complete bastard to her.“Sir, the China investors are here. They are insisting on a meeting” my secretary says. 1 “I thought they were supposed to arrive next week” “They were. That’s what was scheduled, but they just showed up out of nowhere” I groan in frustration. I hate it when my plans are sidetracked. It pisses me off when someone can’t keep

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 183-I smile. “I already fired her and hired a new secretary” “When?” “After the night of the dinner gala. I didn’t like how she talked about you” She looks shocked. I mean Christine had been my secretary for years. I just didn’t know she was a complete bitch. Scratch that, I didn’t care that she was a total bitch to Ava.

My smiles falls, when I realize how I let others and myself disrespect her. She’d been my wife. The mother

of my son. I should never have let that shit slide.

She doesn’t say anything after that. Just looks at me like she can’t figure me out.

“What did Doctor Raven mean when she talked about your first pregnancy?” I ask remembering what was said in the clinic.

“Can’t you just let it go? It doesn’t matter. Noah is now healthy and everything went well. It’s all in the past” she averts her eyes, but I her voice catches and I know it’s painful for her to talk about it.

“Ava? Just tell me. I want to F***ing know” I insist. I was desperate.

Going to all these appointments with her, I realize how much I missed when she was pregnant with Noah. I never even got to hear his heartbeat the for the first time, Her eyes flash. Masking the glimpse of pain I saw in her eyes.

“Tell you what Rowan? That I was an eighteen year old pregnant girl who was scared and alone? That sometimes my blood pressure would spike up and I’d get admitted due to stress? That the constant hate from my family, my husband and in laws was too much that I fell into depression? How about the fact that the Raven told me with how my health was deteriorating, there was a chance my baby wouldn’t survive?” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “I rarely saw you at home and when you did come all you did was tell me was how you hated my guts. I gave you an escape that day, but you didn’t take it and heaven’s do I wish I had fought harder to run away and get away from all of you.

You told me you hated me without realizing that even though I loved you, I also hated you right back.

Coming to that bar was the biggest mistake of my life. You, Rowan are the biggest mistake of my F***ing life, but the thing is I can’t take it back and I wouldn’t if given a chance because that means regretting Noah, and I can never regret him.

“Now if you’re done rehashing the past and opening wounds that I’m trying to heal, I’m gonna leave. Have With that she turns away and leaves.

I can’t believe that we almost lost Noah. That all the mistreatment from me and the other caused her health to deteriorate. We were busy hating her, while she was suffering all alone. It breaks me knowing! had a hand in destroying her heart.

I watch her as she gets into her car. My heart constricting at what an asshole I had been. I didn’t realize it then, but I wasn’t the only one who was suffering. I refused to see her side. Refused to see her pain. She was eighteen for F***s sake.

She leaves. I’m left staring at her car until it disappears.

Running my hands through my hair, the gravity of the pain and hurt I put her through hits me like an of bricks. There was so much pain in her voice. So much anger. How the hell was I going to make up for years of mistreatment?

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 184-Ava.

I’m still reeling from the nerve of Rowan days after my appointment. I mean how dare he pretend like he didn’t know what the hell I had gone through when I was pregnant.

Him, the Sharps and his damn family were all responsible. I almost lost my baby because of them and they still wonder why the hell I can’t forgive them?

Thinking about it just pissed me the F*** off. I was drowning yet they didn’t care.

They didn’t bother. All because they blamed for that night. Did I have S** on my

own? Did I drag Rowan to the bed and force myself on him? He was a willing participant yet they blamed me. Punished me.

Sometimes I look back and I think that it was just an excuse. They used that night and the results to alienate me. They’ve never treated me like one of them.

So this was the perfect excuse for them to cut me off completely.

What I told Rowan was the truth. I couldn’t regret him because he gave me Noah, but I do wish that I’d ran away when I was pregnant. Maybe then my life would have been completely different.

‘Everything happens for a reason, Ava‘ my inner voice says. The journey that you went through was meant to bring you to this moment. It was meant to bring to your parents, to Letty, to Corrine, to Calvin and Gunner. It’s because of that same journey that you met Ethan and now you are expecting this precious.

baby. Everything happens to align for something better ra I think about it for a minute and my anger deflates. She’s right. I would have had a different life had I ran away, but what’s to say I would have met those in my life right now? It’s the same thing with Rowan. Taking back that night would mean taking back Noah and everyone that’s in my life right now.

Leaning against the sofa, I let the stress and worries go. I was determined to move on and heal. It’s difficult with people digging at the wound, but like I said. I was determined.

I was about to lay down, when I heard a crash from the kitchen. I sit up straight with my heart pounding.

Standing up, I slowly walk towards the kitchen. I used to think that those people in horror movies who used to go towards where the sound came from were stupid. Like, just ran away. Why are you heading towards what is possibly danger?

Here I am though, behaving exactly like them even though I knew there was still danger hanging over our heads.

I should be calling someone. The police for example, but I want to make sure it isn’t Cal’s dog. He has a Reaching the kitchen. I find no one. I move around the kitchen counter to check the back door. The glass was broken, meaning someone was inside my house.

Panic starts to seize my heart. Not again! This time is even worse because I was alone and pregnant. I turn around about to ran to the phone, but I freeze in fear.

Reaper stands on the opposite side looking out of sorts and completely dangerous.

“Hello, Ava” he greets, his voice sending shivers down my back.

I used to think Rowan’s voice is cold, but Reapers is like the Antarctica, I grab a knife and point it at him. “Stay the F*** back” “I’m not going to hurt you” he puts his arms up in surrender.

I scoff. “Could have fooled me” “For real. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to talk” he puts his hands down and takes a seat on one of the kitchen barstools.

I stare at him. My eyes twitching. He looks so comfortable and at home. As if he hadn’t just broken into my house. The same woman he had kidnapped about a week and a half ago.

“What’s there to talk about? I won’t be a part of your sick revenge plan against Rowan. If you want to get back at him then be my guest and do it, but leave me and my son out of it”

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 185-There is a flicker of an emotion in his eyes. It’s gone before I can even interpret what the hell it is.

“I don’t hurt kids. That’s one thing we agree on in my organization.” I’m surprised by this, but manage to hide it. It doesn’t matter either way. Fact is he wanted to use me against Rowan, “What are you doing here and what do you want from me?” I ask instead.

“Put the knife down” he commands.

“No way in hell. I’m not stupid. If you want to talk, then talk, but the knife stays where it is” “Feisty, I like that” That is definitely not something you want to hear from someone like Reaper. He seems unhinged in a really dangerous and scary way.

“What do you want Reaper?” I ask again.

Fuck! If only I hadn’t left my damn phone in the F***ing living room. Maybe then I could have stealthily sent a message to Rowan.

1 got a message from your boyfriend” he says with a smirk.

I look at him confused. What the hell was he talking about?

“What boyfriend? I don’t have a F**ing boyfriend” “Ethan, does that name ring a bell then?” My bdy stills. What the hell had Ethan done? Did he even realize what he was up against? The police have been unable to catch this guy for years. That means he’s really good and really powerful in the criminal world “You see, he sent someone to find me and kill me. You know, take care of the problem for his baby mama.

What he didn’t realize is that I’m king of the underworld in this city and you can’t order a hit on the same. man that owns these gangsters” I’m not even surprised he knows so much about me Shit. Shit. Please don’t tell me that Ethan too has made and enemy out of Ronny. I didn’t go to all the trouble of facing the man that betrayed me just so he ends up dead and doesn’t get to meet his baby.

can’t blame him though” he continues. “He doesn’t realize I would never have hurt you.” “W–what?” I stammer.

He just goes on like I didn’t speak. It was like I wasn’t even in the room and he was speaking to himself.

“Sure I wanted to play with Rowan. I already knew he would choose you meaning I would have killed Emma, but even if he had chosen Emma, I wouldn’t have killed you” I just stare at him. Not really sure what the hell he was talking about. Nothing about what he said was registering in my freaking head.

“What the hell are you talking about? Rowan would have chosen Emma. You were gambling my life “No he wouldn’t. Maybe before, but not now. I’ve been watching him. Studying him. I know for a fact that he’d have let Emma die if it meant saving you. Looks like his feelings have changed. Or maybe they were always there. It took losing you to open his damn eyes I was rendered speechless. Sure Rowan had told me he’d have chosen me. I didn’t listen. Now, hearing. someone else say the same thing. An enemy to be exact. Has me even more confused when it comes to all things Rowan.

I shake my head. Just to clear the cobwebs.

I stare at the menacing man in front of me. He looks so relaxed. So unbothered, Which leaves me dumbfounded, because if I were him, I would be nervous knowing I could get caught any time.

“You said you wouldn’t have hurt us. Then what was the point of kidnapping us?” “I said I wouldn’t have hurt you.” He emphasizes on “You“. “Emma was fair game” This man was so damn confusing. Nothing he said made a damn sense.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?” I sigh, praying for patience, the patience I was starting to lose. I just wanted him out of my damn house.

“Why?” He smiles. This was the first smile I’ve seen from him that wasn’t creepy or evil.

“Because you’re carrying my niece or nephew. With that fact, I can’t hurt now can I?”

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 186-Say what? I must be going deaf because I’m sure I didn’t hear what I think I heard.

“That can’t be right…I have no siblings, so you can’t be my baby’s uncle unless you’re…” That’s when it Fing hits. Like a ton of Fing bricks. Shit why was this happening to me. As if I didn’t have enough to worry. Now I’m stressed about my child having a psychotic uncle.

“1 see you’ve figured it out” he leans forward expectantly. “Quite a clever girl”

“Does he know?” I ask slowly. My head still jumbled.

“No. He doesn’t remember. I was around twelve and Ethan was one when I was sent to juvie for a mission. my dad had ordered me to do. I didn’t really know that it was a crime or that he was grooming me to take, his place. By the time I got out, dad was already dead and Ethan has already been adopted.” He’s quiet for a while. The memories playing in his eyes. Unlike the man Rowan killed, Ronny was born. into this life. Forced into it as a child. I see it as clearly as day.

“Why didn’t you get him when you got out and were old enough?” I ask. Making him look at me. 2 “I love my brother. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t corrupt him with the life we were born into. He was happy and loved. Something that he wouldn’t have had with our dad. It would have been different had he been in the system or had your parents treated him like your adopted parents treated you. I saw how they loved him, so I left him even though it hurt me. It was the only way to give him a chance at a normal life” Damn it. I didn’t want my heart to soften towards him. A man who would sacrifice a relationship with his brother just so he had a good life couldn’t be that bad, right?

“It didn’t stop him from ending up in prison though?” I whisper.

Even after all that sacrifice, Ethan still ended up doing some terrible crimes then ended up in prison.

“Yeah. Should have kept monitoring him after. Maybe then I would have helped him avoid prison” “Probably by helping him come up with a better plan of killing me” I say sarcastically.

The evil smiles comes back in place. “How else would I help him solve his dilemma? I’ve killed my share or people so of course I would have a few pointers on how to do it and not get caught.” I should have been scared but I wasn’t. Not anymore.

It’s as we were talking that I realized that I had somehow placed the knife down.

It wasn’t clutched in a tight grip anymore.

So what do you want from me? Seeing you’re here, there has to be reason He nods his head. “Yes. I want a chance to get to know my niece or nephew.

I’ve gone so long without a family. I want that again” “You do realize you’re a wanted criminal” “Yes” he gives me a dazzling smile as if the fact that he was a criminal is a good thing. “I promise my business won’t touch him or her, plus you and your kids will have my protection for life.” I watch him. Study him. He may be bat shit crazy, but I see the truth in his eyes.

He wasn’t lying. He was looking for a familial tie.

“On one condition” I tell him. “Tell Ethan the truth” “Deal” He gives me his hand. I tentatively give him mine and we shake on it. I was a bit scared, I mean, I just made a deal with a criminal, but for some reason this felt right. Maybe I was just as crazy as he was because none of what I was doing made any sense.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 187-Rowan.

I stare at the door, wondering what the hell I was doing here. I should give Ava her space, but F* it. I can’t seem to stay away from her. I’m drawn to her in a way I can’t F*ing explain.

Knocking, I wait rather impatiently for the door to be opened. A minute later, the door opens revealing Noah.

“Dad” he throws himself at him and I catch him. “I thought I would have to wait till Saturday to see you” I hug him close to me. Feeling myself relax and melt. “Hey buddy” How could I ever have hated Ava? I wonder. She gave me the best gift when she gave birth to Noah. I should have appreciated her then instead of punishing her. The night I thought was the worst night of my life, brought about the best gift I could have gotten.

I didn’t see it then because I had my head so up my ass I couldn’t see straight.

My eyes are opened now. I see it so F***ing clearly. Ava was right. I used to regret that night not realizing that without that night.

happening, there wouldn’t be Noah and no matter what, I would never regret my son.

“Come in. Mom is in the shower. She said she needed to soak her tired, aching bones.” He informs me. I’m having my dinner and there is enough. You can have some if you haven’t eaten dinner yet” He leads me into the kitchen. He gets on the stool and resumes eating after pointing to the food. I shamelessly take a plate and pile food on it.

I didn’t appreciate it when we were married. Taking the small things for granted.

I admit that I’ve missed her cooking.

“So…Mom is a real catch” Noah begins making, me turn to him.

“Yes” I agree, not really sure where he was going with this.

“A lot of good looking guys want her…just a few days ago there was a man here who’d come to visit her. I wonder who’ll get her as his wife” he says it so casually, but I see the smirk he is trying to hide.

“What man?” I try to contain the jealousy, but it’s F***ing hard. The need to scream that Ava is mine is intense.

I don’t remember his nafne, but mom said that he was her new friend” the smirk is still in place as he say that. He was scary looking but I liked him, now I don’t know who I like better for mom. Him or Unole Cal.

I glare at him, but he just chuckles Fuck it. I know he was trying to make me jealous and I should let it go, but I can’t. I have never liked my son less than I did at that moment.

“Noah, who was at the door?” her voice comes from the other room, interrupting me before I can say anything She walks into the kitchen in a robe. Her hair is wet and her face is free from makeup. She looks so damn beautiful that I can’t put it into words. The robe leaves nothing to the imagination and I want nothing but to tear it from her b*dy.

“Rowan? What are you doing here?” she ask, her face changing into an indifference mask.

I hate that too. She used to be so expressive, now I barely know what she’s feeling or thinking.

“Rowan?” she calls again.

I don’t know what to F***ing tell her. How am I supposed to tell her that I missed her? That I just wanted to see her.

“I’m out of here. Don’t forget to tell me when you’re leaving, dad” Noah breaks through the tense atmosphere.

He doesn’t wait for us to say anything before he flees the room. Within seconds we are left alone.

“Who is the man Noah was talking about?” I ask standing up and getting close to her.

“What man?” she tries backing away from me, but there is nowhere to go.

“The one among your many suitors” my voice turns hard. I was jealous and pissed off because I wanted her to my F***ing self.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about or what he was talking about.” She sasses. “Could you just leave? It’s late at night and you shouldn’t be here “And why is that? Is it so you can entertain one of the many men who Noah seems to think are interested In becoming your new husband” I growl.

I was pushing it. Pushing her, but I just didn’t care. Not when envy was boiling in my blood. Or bitterness was clouding my brain cells.

What is wrong with you? I don’t entertain any man” she whisper–shouts at me.

It doesn’t faze me as I walk closer to her.

Wrapping my hands around her waist, I bring her closer to me. I feel every inch of her b*dy. Her belly and her breast are pressed close to my chest and abs. I harden when I feel the hardened peaks of her breast.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 188-What I felt was more than arousal. It was something else. Something much more potent.

“Get you F***ing hands off me” she shrieks but I still don’t let her go. Instead I press closer to her while being mindful of her baby bump.

She tries to push me away, but I’m solid. She can’t move me. Not only because I was stronger than her, but because I couldn’t pull myself off her even if I’d wanted. She felt perfect in my arms. I could stay with

her like this forever.

“Not a chance, Ava. Why would I when this is exactly where I want you? You’re mine” “What the hell are you talking about? I’m not yours. I’ve never been yours. Now let me go before Noah finds us like this and thinks we are getting back together” “Noah will be happy. About the other thing, you will always be mine and I won’t let you whore yourself to other men when you Fing belong to me” Her eyes twitches. Fire burning inside her brown orbs. I don’t see her hand move. The punch comes as a surprise, so because of the shock I release her. 1 “Whoring myself? First of all, I was a Fing virgin when we slept together for the first time in case you’ve forgotten. Second, I can F*** whoever I want. I am a free woman and nothing is holding me back from sleeping with men who actually want me. Men who aren’t thinking of the love of their Fing life while they’re buried deep inside me I knew those words were going to come back to bite me in the Fing ass.

“Ava…” “No! What the hell do you want Rowan? Because I just don’t get it. You yourself told me that you slept with me while imagining Emma. You told I was just an object for scratching an itch. That I would never be the woman you want, so what the hell are you doing here? Why won’t you leave me the hell alone?” i I There are so many things I want to tell her. To explain to her. The words instead get stuck in my throat. I don’t know how to express my feelings to her.

do want you, Ava. So Fing much” my voice turns soft and it shocks both of us, Why now? We were married for nine years. Nine Fing years How then can you be this this” she struggles to find the right word.

This what?

Interested. How can you all of a sudden be interested in me when you’ve ignored me for the entire length.

of our marriage? It’s just not making any sense.” She had me there, but how can I explain something that I didn’t understand myself? I don’t know where my feelings came from or when they came to be.

“Is it too difficult to accept that I want you?” I ask instead.

Yes it is! You’ve hated me for so long, so yes, it’s hard to believe that you are now attracted to me. It seems so farfetched.” The words were on the were on the tip on my words. The name of the emotion I’ve been trying to figure out. The feeling I have for her.

“Please leave Rowan. You’re just confused. Even if you are attracted to me, it doesn’t mean anything.“1 “It means something. It means we have something to work with” I insist almost to the point of begging.

“No it doesn’t. Not when I can still clearly hear your voice in my head telling me that you were using my b*dy as a substitute for Emma’s” I want to say more, but I know that she already has enough of me. She was already drained and I was making things worse for her. 1 “Okay then, I’ll leave for now. Please just call Noah for me so I can say goodbye” She nods her head and goes to call our son. Noah comes back, but Ava doesn’t. Ignoring the questioning look on his face, I tell him good bye before leaving. I make sure he’s locked the door before driving away.

This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. I wasn’t going to give up on her that easily.

It was as I was driving that the realization hit me. I had to pull over so that I don’t get into an accident as the gravity of everything hit me. 1 My heart almost collapses in itself, as I’m finally able to name the feeling I have for Ava. The feeling I was too blind to realize what exactly it is.

Love.

Fuck. I love Ava.

That realizations comes with fear and crashing gullt. I all but destroyed her heart. I F***ing killed the love. she had for me. How the hell was I going to fix that?

I was a dumb shit. I F***ing love her, but would she ever believe me or even give me a chance?

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 189-oves, I want first of all to thank you for all your continued support. You’ve all been so amazing with our love for this book. It wouldn’t be where it is without your love and support. Thank you for the gemstones, comments and reviews they have come a long way in helping to rank this book. With that being said, pretty please vote if you haven’t already and remember to leave a review if you’ve come this far with me.

I also want to let you know that I’ll be taking a break this coming week. I’m supposed to be moving to a new place and I haven’t done any packing yet. I won’t stay gone long. A maximum of one week should be enough to finish what I’m required to do and then I’ll be back after that.

Lastly I want to address the issue of updates. I’ll be updating daily in November except on the weekends. Because of your insistence, I’ll be alternating between two chapters a day and one. I hope that will be e nough since my goal is to complete it by December. I don’t want it dragged out. With how tight my s chedule is, it’s the best I can do. I hope you can understand.

That’s all for now. Thanks for your understanding, I’ll be seeing you in a few days. Bye, take care and stay safe.

22 groan recstasy as I release my load onto her back. This was just what I needed.

The best way I knew to wind and relax.

“So when will we do this again, Tomorrow?” she asks, her eyes shining.

She looks more relaxed. I guess she needed this just as much as I did. I help her wipe my cum off her back, but I don’t say anything. She knows the drill. I call she answers, not the other way around.

After I’m done, she starts getting dresses. It’s past ten at night and I want to get some shut eye before my busy schedule tomorrow.

Like I said, she knows the drill. She doesn’t spend the night and vice versa. We are nothing more than F*** buddies.

“Gabriel?” She’s the only one that calls me by my full name. I hate it the name. Mainly because it reminds me of the archangel when I am literally the opposite of an angel.

“Shut it. You don’t call the shots. We’ll do this when I decide” I growl, already feeling suffocated by her damn question.

I see an emotion similar to hurt pass through her features. I ignore it. She knew very well what she was getting into when she agreed to this.

“So meanwhile I wait till it’s my turn? I wait till you’re bored with your other women?” she whispers.

I’ve never kept it a secret. She knew she wasn’t the only F*** buddy I had. I liked variety. Today I was in the mood for having a taste of her. It might be the same tomorrow. Or I might develop a taste for someone else. 1 “Yes” I tell her firmly.

The light that was shining in her eyes dims. She tries her best, but I see her fighting her emotions. Fighting the hurt I had caused.

Fuck! I hate this. Hate it when they develop feelings. We’ve had this arrangement for two years and it worked fine until now. Looks like it’s time to nip this at the bud.

She didn’t have time to date and I don’t date. So this became the best solution.

Besides, she’s just my 1/2 you could handle this, but I guess it was a mistake. So this will be the last time we F***. You’ll working for me like nothing ever happened between us, am I understood, Eden?” She stares at me. Her eyes spearing mine.

i don’t think I can do this anymore” she whispers. Tears filling her eyes“I love you, but I see that will never Tove me. For some reason you’ve closed off your heart and I can’t keep sleeping with you knowing that you’ll never reciprocate my love” She was a damn good secretary, but to hell with it.

I guess it’s time for you to write a resignation letter, isn’t it?” I smirk, mocking her.

She doesn’t reply. Just shakes her head before she turns around and quietly leaves. I sigh, but I don’t follow her. Instead I use my phone to unlock the gates for her. Once she’s gone, I collapse on my bed.

She’s right. I closed my heart off. Promising myself that I will never fall in love.

Sure my parents have an amazing marriage, and they love each other so much, but their case is one in a million.

I’ve seen how love can F***ing destroy you. Seen how it can kill you on the inside and leave you as nothing but a shell.

Love all but destroyed Rowan when he lost Emma. It was like living with a zombie for months, until Noah was born born. He used to drink himself to oblivion. Seeing all this why would I give any woman such immense power over me? Why would I give them the weapon to destroy me? 1 He was destroyed when things went to shit with Emma and now? Now I am afraid of the same thing happening.

He doesn’t realize it yet. That he loves Ava. When it finally hits him, it will destroy him. Knowing that he has hurt the woman he loves over and over again.

I release a breath I was holding and go to the bathroom for a shower. Ten minutes later and I am still anxious. I don’t know what was causing it, but I have a good damn feeling that it was Rowan. It’s that sixth twin sense.

I I get out of the shower, dry myself and put on a pair of sweats. I was just about to get my phone and call my brother when my security system unlocks. There is only one other person who has authorization.

Ex-Husbands Regret Chapter 190-ay then, I’ll leave for now. Please just call Noah for me so I can say goodbye” She nods her head and goes to call our son. Noah comes back, but Ava doesn’t. Ignoring the questioning look on his face, I tell him good bye before leaving. I make sure he’s locked the door before driving away.

This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. I wasn’t going to give up on her that easily.

It was as I was driving that the realization hit me. I had to pull over so that I don’t get into an accident as the gravity of everything hit me. 1

My heart almost collapses in itself, as I’m finally able to name the feeling I have for Ava. The feeling I was too blind to realize what exactly it is.

Love.

Fuck. I love Ava.

That realizations comes with fear and crashing gullt. I all but destroyed her heart. I F***ing killed the love. she had for me. How the hell was I going to fix that?

I was a dumb shit. I F***ing love her, but would she ever believe me or even give me a chance?

lo is without your love and support. Thank you for the gemstones, comments and reviews they have come a long way in helping to rank this book. With that being said, pretty please vote if you haven’t already and remember to leave a review if you’ve come this far with me.