Ch. 316..320: Forbidden Heat R18 Chapter 316-320

Chapter 316: Reiner - Surprise Invitation

A few weeks past by in the blink of an eye. I have fully recovered, and I was sure that Reiner was aware of that as well. Surprisingly, he was still by my side. I glanced over at him while he arranged things for our afternoon tea together out in the garden. After returning safely from our trip, the rules regarding my travels were relaxed a little by Lucien. I was now allowed to go outside to venues that are fully booked to become private for me. Basically, what that meant was that if I wanted to eat at a restaurant, I had to book out the entire place just to dine alone with Reiner.

That’s over-protective Lucien for you.

My eyes followed the graceful movement of Reiner’s hand as he prepared tea. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why Reiner was still at my side despite knowing that I had already fully recovered. It would be the solution to all problems if he was with me because he had finally fallen in love with me and had decided to stay with me forever. However, I knew that that wasn’t the case, and I wasn’t about to fool myself into believing something as convenient as that either.

The problem was, I had no idea why he’s still here. Reiner did not mention leaving either and I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. Suddenly, I felt irritated, and my mood had soured. Great, now everything is going to taste rotten. Maybe if Reiner would just smile at me, my good mood will return.

“Some tea?” Reiner asked as he came to stand next to where I was sitting at the table.

“Yes, please. Sit with me?” I said as I gestured with my eyes to the empty seat opposite me.

Just as I had suggested, Reiner took the seat opposite me after he had finished pouring me some tea. Today we were having green tea with a twist of yuzu orange. That made the tea fruity and quite sour, but I liked it. I wasn’t sure who invented this formula, but it got along well with my tastebuds.

“R...smile for me a little...” I said as I smiled at him.

“Why do I need to do that?” he asked as his eyes narrowed at me suspiciously.

“You look better when you smile,” I said sweetly.

“Then there’s no need for me to smile,” Reiner replied emotionlessly.

Either he thinks he looks good enough in my eyes or he just thought that my request was complete non-sense. I’ll bet my life that it was the latter. My eyes fell on the pattern on the teacup. The flowers reminded me of my late mother.

“My mother liked these flowers...” I whispered softly.

“Did she?” Reiner said with interest as he turned his own teacup around to inspect the pattern.

“Oh yeah...” I replied shyly. I didn’t realize at first that I had spoken out loud.

“What was she like? Your mother...” Reiner asked although he sounded hesitant.

I guess it was hard to ask about someone who had passed away and so I fully understood his hesitation. It’s been many years since she left this world and talking about her didn’t quite hurt me anymore. Instead, I thought that it would be a great idea to share the precious memories that I had of her with Reiner.

“My mother was the best mother to me. She always put me first. She raised me all by herself and she worked very hard for us. She never hit me, but she made sure to teach me the important things...” I began telling him about my mother.

“She sounds like a kind person,” Reiner said before he continued sipping on his tea.

“I didn’t appreciate her enough when she was still with me, and I regret that so much. Looking back, my mother was always so selfless and always putting other people first before herself. That was why I was very happy when she decided to marry Lucien. I thought...that she was finally confident enough to put her happiness first and that she fully deserved to do that...” I said passionately.

However, I found out in the end that she didn’t even love him. He didn’t love her either. She wasn’t putting her happiness first at all. Perhaps until the moment that her life ended, she never got the chance to put her own happiness first. I didn’t dare voice these thoughts out loud to Reiner though.

“If it’s too hard on you...you don’t need to talk anymore...” Reiner said comfortingly.

I sniffed a little and realized that I was about to start crying. Reiner saw that and he wanted me to stop talking about her.

“I’m ok. I’m sure that she would have liked you very much if she had the chance to meet you,” I said before beaming a smile at him.

“I see...” Reiner said curtly.

I wasn’t sure what else he wanted to know about her. Afraid that I might bore him with my recounts of the fond memories that I had of my mother, I paused to think of what he may find interesting.

“Do you want to go out somewhere?” Reiner asked abruptly.

I almost dropped my teacup. His suggestion caught me by surprise. It was a pleasant surprise, but it was a surprise, nonetheless.

“Is this a date?” I asked without bothering to hide my excitement.

“Could be...” Reiner replied.

My eyes widened in shock at his suggestive words but more importantly, Reiner was smiling at me.

“When? Now? Later today? Tomorrow?” I asked excitedly.

“Tomorrow...” he replied simply.

“Ok...tomorrow...” I whispered.

I couldn’t stop smiling back at Reiner. The sour tea in my cup tasted sweet and the whole world looked brighter and more beautiful. Perhaps, I wasn’t just imagining things after all. Maybe...just a little...Reiner is starting to like me. I felt so bubbly inside that I couldn’t stay sitting anymore. Unable to contain my excitement and happiness, I got up and walked over to Reiner before bending down to hug him before burying my face into the side of his neck.

Chapter 317: Reiner - Our Date

The alarm that I set last night rang bright and early the next morning. For once in a very long time, I bolted upright in bed at the first ring of the alarm. Finally, morning is here!

Like a little girl excited for her birthday party, I didn’t sleep very well last night. Frankly, I was too excited to catch any sleep. Without needing anyone to push or pull me out of bed, I got off the bed and immediately headed to my closet.

What should I wear today?

What about this dress? Maybe too lacey? Maybe too sexy?

Too conservative. Too revealing. Might make me look a little on the plump side. Might make my skin look like a weird color under some orange lighting...

I never knew that finding the perfect dress was this difficult. This is why they have stylists to help you. It was very rare for Reiner to ask me out on a date, so I wanted to look flawlessly perfect. The outfit matters and so does the make up and hair do.

Will he think that I’m overdressed if I turned up in this dress? Maybe it’ll look like I’m trying too hard. I sighed loudly when I realized that I’ve wasted quite a lot of time just choosing my outfit. In the end, I chose a light pink short sleeve dress with a loose skirt that reached around my knees and a matching pair of ballerina shoes. I put my hair up into a chic ponytail and added a touch of sparkle by putting on dangling diamond earrings.

By the time that I was done, Reiner hadn’t turned up yet. I guess I just woke up uncharacteristically early today. Feeling restless, I decided to go down to the living room to wait for Reiner. To my surprise, Reiner was already downstairs, and I ran into him as I was coming down the stairs.

“R...” I called his name in my surprise.

“You’re up very early...” Reiner said, and I could see his eyes lingering slightly longer than normal on my outfit.

My heart fluttered and I smiled. Maybe I did make the right choice.

“I wasn’t sure when you wanted to leave so I thought being early would be better than being late,” I replied before smiling sweetly at him.

“If you’re ready, we can go now,” Reiner replied.

“Ok. That’s great,” I said as I hugged his arm to my chest and smiled up at him.

I didn’t know where he was going to take me, but the weather was so pleasant. It was just the right amount of sunshine and wind. Reiner was driving next to me as I sat on the passenger seat. Instead of looking at the view through the window, I found myself glancing over at Reiner instead. He’s so handsome and his side profile was also so good looking.

“You seem to be in a very good mood,” Reiner comment without looking my way.

“You can tell? Of course, I am. It’s not everyday that you would ask me out on a date,” I said cheerfully.

“I guess you’re right,” Reiner replied with a grin.

...

“I think we’ve been here before, right?” I asked as I looked out the car window at the familiar scenery.

This was the same hill that Reiner brought me to last time when we were out on a date. That day he was acting as my boyfriend for a day. I loved that day because I got to spend it with him. We came here and he carried me on his back to a clearing where we could watch the stars from the top of this hill.

“Yes, we’ve been here together before,” Reiner confirmed.

“Don’t tell me that you’re lacking ideas for date spots? I guess I don’t mind coming here twice if it’s with you...” I teased.

“Get on?” Reiner asked as he crouched down in front of me and offered me his back.

“I’m not scared of the woods anymore but riding on your back would be awesome!” I said before I wrapped my arms around his neck and jumped on his back.

Reiner supported my legs and stood up with me on his back with ease. I felt the wind against my face for a little while before Reiner marched into the forest. Now that we were here during the day, the forest seemed a lot less scary than the last time that I was here. This time, I didn’t close my eyes.

The last time we were here, he wanted to show me the stars. However, it was daytime now, so I wasn’t sure why he wanted to bring me here. I mean, there’re no stars during the day.

“We’re not here to stargaze during the day, are we?” I asked jokingly.

Reiner did not reply. Soon enough, we exited the forest into the grass clearing where we were the last time we were here. Reiner bent down and I got off his back.

“Thank you for carrying me. It was a fun ride,” I thanked him before flashing him one of my most beautiful smiles.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” he replied.

“Why are we here?” I asked, curiously.

Frankly speaking, now that we were here in the daytime there was absolutely nothing here that I thought was noteworthy. The sky had no stars. There was nothing around us but grass in the clearing and tall trees in the forest. Then there was the winding road that we could see down below.

I looked over at Reiner and saw that he seemed uncomfortable and deep in thought. After a while, I figured that he was staring at the road down below. My eyes followed his gaze, but I didn’t see anything besides the empty curvy road. Nothing was there and no car was passing by.

“Are you ok?” I asked Reiner, feeling a little worried about him.

“Natalia...” Reiner called my name softly, his eyes still on the road.

“Yes?” I replied curiously.

“From what you know, how did you mother die?” Reiner asked without looking at me.

Why is he asking about this all of a sudden? Something just doesn’t feel right...

“I don’t know why you’re asking this all of a sudden but...at first, I was told that she died in a car accident. However, recently, Lucien told me that she was killed...” I replied.

Chapter 318: Reiner - His Confession

I wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed but I had feeling that this wasn’t going to turn out as a normal date. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach as I had a strong sense of foreboding. Yesterday, Reiner asked about my mother as well.

“Lucien’s good. He managed to tell you half-truths without directly lying to you and without telling you the whole story either,” Reiner said with a soft laugh.

“Excuse me?” I said, not quite following.

“He’s right. Your mother died in a car, but it wasn’t an accident. He’s also right when he said that she was killed,” Reiner replied.

“Do you...know something about my mother’s death?” I asked hesitantly. That was what his words were leading me to believe.

“You see that bend right there in the road below,” Reiner said as he pointed a finger at the bend in the road.

I knew right away where he was referring to because he had been staring at that spot for a long while now without breaking eye contact with it.

“Yes. What of it?” I asked, urging him to get to the point.

Reiner turned around to face me and for the first time his eyes were on my face instead of that bend in the road below. I gulped at the sight of his dead and emotionless blue eyes. His eyes made me shiver and suddenly I felt very cold and nervous.

“That’s where your mother died,” Reiner said simply like it was no big deal.

...what?

What the hell is he talking about?

“Excuse me?” I said cluelessly.

“Your mother died here after her car was shot. She crashed into that bend in the road, the car caught on fire and after a while it exploded and that killed your mother,” Reiner stated emotionlessly.

I put a hand over my mouth as I squeezed my eyes shut tight. The imagery that I saw from his words was just too much for me to bear. A lump formed in my throat, and I felt like I was about to throw up. Quickly, I turned away to hide my face from him and so that I wouldn’t have to look at that bend in the road.

“What on earth are you talking about? You know nothing about my mother! Why are you saying these things?!” I cried out loudly.

“You’re right, I don’t know anything about your mother. All I know is how she died,” Reiner stated flatly.

“What are you saying?” I asked in a panic.

“I’m saying that I killed her,” Reiner replied bluntly.

“...huh?” I said, at a loss for words.

My eyes widened in shock. He’s joking, right? This can’t be true. Suddenly my legs felt weak, and I would have collapsed right there onto the floor if Reiner didn’t reach out and held on to both sides of my shoulders.

“Listen Natalia. I told you before that I came here for work. I wasn’t lying. I came here to scout out the best place to snipe a car that would be passing by down that road. I shot the car from here,” Reiner explained calmly.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was dead serious and that he wasn’t lying. Why would he lie about something like this? But then that would mean...that he killed my mother...

In that moment the choice was obvious, I would prefer for Reiner to be a liar than to be my mother’s murderer.

“It...can’t...be...” I whispered and I realized that I was finding it difficult to speak.

My whole body felt heavy and weak. I found it hard to breathe and my chest felt tight. Then even my eyes seemed to have lost its function as my sight blurred and then the world slowly faded into absolute darkness.

The last thing that I remembered from what was supposed to be our date, was the sound of Reiner calling my name...

...

The first thing I realized was the light that I saw through my eyelids. It made me realize that I was somewhere with the lights on. It was all quiet around me and everything felt very still and motionless. My body felt weak, and it took all my effort to move even my fingers. Slowly, I opened my eyes.

White walls, minimal furniture, IV drips attached to my arm and a narrow bed. Basically, I’ve ended up in the hospital again. Although this time, it was a different hospital than the one that I was in before when I was recovering from the fire incident.

“Natalia...”

A familiar voice called my name softly. I glanced over to the side of the bed and saw Reiner looking down at me with worry.

“R...” I whispered. My voice coming out in a dry croak.

Hurriedly, Reiner fetched me some water in a cup and held it to my lips. Slowly, I drank from the cup obediently. I guess this was the point where the girl was supposed to wake up and lose her memory of what had happened to keep herself sane, or to make it even more dramatic, the girl would lose memory of who this man was and how much he meant to her.

However, that wasn’t what happened in my case at all. My brain felt hazy, and I felt mentally exhausted, but I still remembered everything that happened up until this point. Of course, that included our disastrous date and the fact that Reiner had admitted to killing my mother. It’s funny how I used to fight so hard to get my memories back before but now, I just wanted to forget everything and move on with the time that was left in my life.

Reiner sat back down on the chair next to the hospital bed and I could feel his eyes on me. He didn’t say anything and frankly, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to him either. Precisely because I wasn’t sure what I wanted, I remained silent as I kept my thoughts and my words to myself.

Chapter 319: Reiner - Guilty

Morning came and although I didn’t sleep at all last night, my mind felt very clear. Having spent the majority of time last night deep in thought about how I should proceed now that I knew that Reiner was the one that killed my mother. Thinking about it for a long time gave me various perspectives on the issue. The one thing that I realized was that I didn’t know why he killed her.

Recalling how Reiner told his story made me realize that he was very focused on delivering the facts of what happened and not the reason behind why things turned out the way that they did. He never told me why he killed my mother. From what I can figure out, Reiner didn’t seem to know my mother personally. He had no reason to kill her, but he did, which probably means that it really was part of his job back then.

I believed him when he told me that he killed her. It was a fact that he did. If he didn’t do it, she would probably be alive today...or maybe not...

I wasn’t sure...

When I first heard Reiner’s story, I blamed him for my mother’s death. However, after sleeping on it, I wasn’t sure who or what to blame anymore. Is it his fault if he was doing it as part of his job? If he was hired to do it...?

Thinking about it all alone in silence was giving me a huge headache and I felt like I was ready to throw up all the time. Food in the hospital tasted horrible. I wondered if Lucien found out already that I was hospitalized here. That would be a complete disaster. However, since no one had visited or called me yet, perhaps Reiner was keeping it a secret.

There was only one way to solve all my problems...

“R...” I called his name softly.

Reiner didn’t reply but he did turn to look at me from where he was sitting close to the window on the very far end of the room. The room was small, but he still kept his distance by staying as far away from me as possible. I found it very hilarious. Who’s supposed to be scared of the other person now, I wondered.

“Why did you kill my mother? You didn’t know her personally so you couldn’t possibly hold a grudge against her. You were hired to kill her, right?” I asked straightforwardly.

My sudden questions must have surprised him because his eyes widened a little before his face returned to its emotionless expression.

“The agency that I worked for got a request and they assigned me to it. The mission was simple. I just had to shoot a car and make sure that the driver died in a car crash,” Reiner stated softly.

“Come here...” I said as I beckoned for him to come close to me with a wave of my hand.

Reiner sighed softly but he got up from where he was sitting and came to sit on the chair next to my bed. There were many things that I wanted to ask him. It wasn’t because I was curious, but I felt like I couldn’t make up my mind on how to feel or how to act about all this if I didn’t know everything. I needed to know the whole truth behind what happened.

“Did you know that my mother would be driving that car?” I asked suspiciously.

“No. It wasn’t my business who was driving the car as long as someone was driving it, I will shoot it,” Reiner replied matter-of-factly.

“If you weren’t assigned to the job, would someone else have taken the job instead?” I asked as I looked him in the eye.

“Of course. The job was already accepted by the agency so someone must finish it at all costs. That’s what we get paid for,” Reiner replied without needing to think.

“Who ordered for my mother to be killed?” I asked.

“I have no idea and I have no way to find out,” Reiner replied.

I sighed loudly. Unfortunately, I sensed that he was telling the truth. Great.

“Do you feel guilty...for killing her?” I asked, surprised at the daringness of my own question.

“Does it matter?” Reiner asked in return.

“If it doesn’t then why are you here with me right now?” I asked as I stared deeply into his beautiful blue eyes.

If it never bothered Reiner, then why did he decide to appear in my life? It couldn’t have all been a coincidence, right?

Reiner seemed to hesitate, and I could tell that he was indecisive. Does he perhaps feel guilty for killing my mother? Is that why he decided to step into my life?

“Were you guilty for taking my mother away from me? Is that it?” I asked desperately.

Reiner looked at me, but he didn’t answer my question. I could tell that he was battling with his own internal demons as he searched for an answer to my question. I wondered if he ever considered the reason why he decided to appear in my life. If he feels guilty, does he even know or understand his own feelings?

“Your mother wasn’t supposed to die...” Reiner said softly but there wasn’t any emotion in his voice.

What did he just say? What is that supposed to mean?

“What do you mean by that?” I asked as confusion took over my mind.

Nothing was making sense and once again I was lost at what was going on with my life. So many mysteries were unravelling right in front of me, and I wasn’t sure that I understood their implications. Most of all, I wasn’t sure what to make of them or how I should be feeling. I was just simply and plainly confused.

“The car she was driving was Lucien’s car. I don’t know why or what happened, but your mother was driving Lucien’s car,” Reiner said softly.

“Does that mean...” I whispered in sudden realization.

It couldn’t be. Was this all just an unfortunate coincidence?

Chapter 320: Reiner - Will You Stay?

“The intended target was most probably Lucien; however, since your mother was driving his car, she took the hit instead of him and died as a result,” Reiner summarized emotionlessly.

“So, my mother shouldn’t have died...?” I asked as my mind reeled at the thought.

This was all so confusing for me. However, it was clear that Reiner didn’t intend to kill my mother. That didn’t bring her back though, and that didn’t fill in all those empty years without her by my side. I blinked as warm teardrops rolled down my cheeks. Quickly, I raised my hands to wipe my tears away but surprisingly, his hands beat me to it.

I could feel the warm heat from his fingertips as it glided gently on my cheeks to wipe away my tears. It was just a fleeting thought but at that moment, I thought that that was one of the gentlest touches that I have ever felt in my life.

Reiner, I wondered if he’d been feeling guilty about my mother’s death all this time. That must have been the reason why he came to serve the Rosenhalls. Was that also why he took care of me so well?

“If you’re here with me because you feel guilty about killing my mother, then I think you should leave. I don’t want you to be with me just because you feel guilty...” I said, surprised at how steady and clear I sounded.

Reiner was silent but I could tell that he was deep in thought. It looked like he was about to say something but then decided against it.

“Well, that’s what I think an openminded and kind girl would say but you see...I’m a very selfish girl. So, stay with me, R. I don’t care if it’s just because you feel guilty and you’re just being nice to me out of pity. If you really do feel responsible, then don’t you think you should take responsibility?” I said before smiling at him.

“Natalia...” he said my name in a whisper.

“Make it up to me, R. If you feel guilty, why don’t you stay by my side and make it up to me until all your guilt disappears?” I suggested gleefully.

Reiner’s eyes widened at my unexpected proposal. If he had thought that telling me these things would make me push him away, he couldn’t have been more mistaken. I could sense that Reiner deeply regretted my mother’s unfortunate death. It wasn’t that he wasn’t to blame but blaming him wouldn’t bring my mother back to life. I knew that better than anyone.

“I can’t do that,” Reiner said with certainty.

“Why not?” I challenged.

“My guilt may never disappear...” Reiner said softly and slowly.

“Then maybe you can stay with me forever,” I suggested happily.

Reiner was evidently stunned at what I just said. His reaction was quite amusing, and I couldn’t hold my laughter back as I started giggling at him. His stunned expression melted into a curious one as he watched my reaction. By the time that I had gotten a hold of myself, Reiner’s curious expression had transformed into a very stern and grim one.

“R...what are you thinking about?” I asked softly as I reached out a hand and held his.

His hand is so large and warm. How my small hand fitted in his felt so safe and secure that I didn’t want to let go. I wished that we could hold hands like this forever. Reiner was silent for a moment, and I waited patiently to hear him out.

“What kind of life would you have if you’re with me?” Reiner said and I knew that it wasn’t really a question.

After a while of thought, I decided to answer him anyways.

“Hmm...a very happy one?” I said before smiling brightly at him.

That was what I honestly believed. I didn’t know much about him or what kind of life he led. That also meant that I didn’t know what life with him would really be like. However, I was sure that if we were together, I’d be extremely happy and satisfied regardless of everything else.

“You’re too optimistic. Go to sleep,” Reiner said curtly.

“Will you be here when I wake up?” I asked, honestly fearing that he would be gone the next time that I opened my eyes.

“I will be,” Reiner replied before reaching out a hand to pat my head.

I sighed with relief before I closed my eyes.

“One day, you’re going to fall madly in love with me...” I said before a small smile touched my lips.

I heard Reiner let out a loud and long sigh at my words, but he didn’t say anything in response. Well, at least he didn’t deny it or completely rebuke the idea. Slowly, I drifted off into sleep. In my dreams, I saw my mother and she seemed very content with life.

...

I woke up the next morning not knowing that my life was about to take a sharp turn. Unbeknownst to me, my body and mind must have been completely exhausted because I slept for a very long time. When I stirred in bed, I could hear soft sounds of people walking along the hallway outside. That made me remember that I was still in the hospital.

“R...” I called his name in a whisper as I struggled to open my heavy-lidded eyes.

The room felt completely silent and when I opened my eyes, I quickly realized that I was alone in my room. Where did Reiner go off to so early in the morning?

Thinking that he probably went out to buy something, I decided to stay in bed while I waited for his return. As the clock ticked by, a sense of anxiety started to grow in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t unusual for Reiner to go out but usually he wouldn’t leave me alone like this in the hospital. Reaching for my phone, I saw that he didn’t call or leave a message about where he was going.

What’s the point of over thinking? He told me that he’d be here when I woke up...

As I fidgeted around with my phone in my hand, I decided to give him a call. I can’t even begin to describe how nervous and on-edge I felt as I waited for the line to connect.