Ch. 96..100: Forbidden Heat R18 Chapter 96-100

Chapter 96: My Firsts

Of course, I’ve never seen a guy’s thing before...

I shook my head slightly as I looked at where my hand was in between his legs. I could feel his shape clearly against my hand, something big and hard was twitching beneath my touch.

“Do you want to see? I’ll show you...” Zak suggested as he placed his hand over mine so that I was softly squeezing the big bulge in his pants. I nodded silently, unable to take my eyes away from his crotch.

Zak sat up on to sit on the side of the bed.

“Want to try undressing a guy for the first time?” Zak asked teasingly as he smiled at me.

“Umm...yes,” I replied and then I was surprised at the sound of determination in my voice. It was as if I had just accepted a mission.

Zak laughed a little at me as he got up from the bed and stood tall next to it. I followed his lead and got up from the bed to stand in front of him. Undressing him, I can probably do this much myself, right? Zak watched me as he waited for my next move. I decided to start with his white shirt. Thankful that he was no longer wearing his outer suit and tie. I started unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt starting from the top until all his buttons were undone. Then I parted his shirt and slowly removed it from him.

Wow...Zak’s body is amazingly beautiful...

“Do you like what you see?” Zak teased me as I hugged him closed to me pressing my breasts against his warm chest. I never knew being skin to skin with him could feel this blissful. I nodded against his muscular bare chest.

My hands reached down to unbuckle his belt and then unzipped his pants. This is nerve wrecking, if I remove his pants then I will see him completely naked. I shut my eyes tight to steady my nerves before removing all his clothes from him. My eyes rove all over his body taking the sight of his well-sculpted body in before my eyes rested on the erected pole in between his legs. I gasped at the sight and covered my mouth with my hands.

“...it’s so big...” I murmured through my hands. I didn’t know the male penis was this big, thick, and long. Were all penises this size or was Zak just big? Now, I understood why he mentioned practicing first with his fingers. I couldn’t imagine how that big shaft could fit into my body.

“Don’t worry. I won’t force it inside you today. We’ll wait until you’ve had enough practice and you’re ready to take me in,” Zak told me calmly as if he had read my mind.

“But...what would make you feel good? I want...to make you feel good too,” I asked shyly as I peered into his golden eyes.

“Well, putting it inside your pussy would feel the best but...stroking it with your hand and...licking and sucking it with you mouth would feel great too,” Zak replied as he petted the top of my head.

“...with my mouth?” I said curiously. I should put his cock inside of my mouth, right?

Zak sat down on the side of bed as he motioned for me to sit on the floor in between his opened legs.

“Come here. I’ll teach you...how to please a man,” Zak said as he took my right hand in his much warmer and larger one before guiding it towards his erect cock.

His hand directed mine to softly stroke his hot length before my hand gripped around his pulsating cock. It’s so hard and so hot in my hands. It feels like I’m holding a pole of warm metal coated with soft skin, he’s so hard inside. He’s so warm and twitching in my hand and I slowly began to move my hand up and down his full length as I stroked him.

Zak moaned a little and thrusted his hips upwards towards my hand. Zak must be feeling good; I can make Zak feel good too. I moved my hand up and down harder and faster as I pumped his cock. It was so amazing; I could see with my own eyes as Zak’s cock got even longer and thicker in my hand. Wow...it can grow even bigger than before.

Zak was panting and morning louder now and he was moving his hips faster as well. Zak’s erotic face as he enjoyed the touch of my hand looked so sexy. I want to see him enjoy himself more.

“Does it feel good?” I asked him shyly, wondering how he feels.

“It feels amazing, Natalia. You must be a genius at this,” Zak replied as he panted. I kissed his lips softly.

“I want to make you feel even better. Can I...put you in my mouth now?” I asked as I gazed into his dreamy eyes. I love his eyes and probably everything else about Zak as well. If it’s with Zak, I felt like I am willing to do anything...

“Cross your fingers and show me. This is your safety sign. If during sex, you ever want me to stop but you can’t speak or use your mouth, just make this sign and I’ll stop, ok?” Zak explained quickly while looking me in the eyes to make sure that I understood him. I nodded slowly.

I slowly bent my head down towards his gigantic cock. I could see it up close now and it suddenly felt even bigger than before. The head of his cock was a deep pink color and it looked swollen and ready to burst. I’ve never done this before; I hope I can do it right. I opened my mouth and closed my eyes tight as I took the bulging head of his cock inside my wet mouth. Zak made a hissing sound before he moaned with pleasure. What should I do now? Zak told me to suck and lick it, so...

I sucked repeatedly on the head of his cock as I licked his tip, running my tongue around his cock. I made loud sucking sounds as I continued to suck him harder. I held his dick with my hand and stroked him up and down like I did before. Looking up, I could see Zak looking back at me, his eyes filled with need and lust. Zak was breathing harder and moaning even louder and more frequently now. I licked him faster, flicking the tip of my tongue against him and then I sucked him harder. His hips jerked in reaction to my sucking motion, and I could feel the taste of him getting stronger inside my mouth. Zak called out my name softly.

“Is it really your first time doing this? I’m going to fuck your mouth now, remember the safety sign. You might not be able to take this...” Zak warned me, and I nodded slowly with his cock still between my lips.

His large hand held the back of my head softly to position me where he wanted me to be. A few seconds later, Zak jerked his hips upwards, thrusting his huge cock deep and fast inside my mouth towards the back of my throat. I was taken by surprise at the force of his thrust and the feeling of having so much of him inside my mouth. I can’t believe this; Zak’s shaft is now embedded in my mouth, and it was moving in and out impatiently.

Oh...he’s thrusting so hard, and I could smell and taste his manly smell so much stronger now. His hands now held my head in place as he ‘fucked my mouth’ like he said he would.

Chapter 97: What is Love?

“It’s so good, Natalia...your mouth feels great,” Zak moaned and panted as his hips moved even faster, ramming his hot cock in deeper. My saliva rolled down my chin and neck as it spilled over while Zak thrusted his pole in and then out of my mouth. I sucked him and rubbed my tongue against his length, feeling him twitch and grow even bigger inside. It feels strangely pleasurable to watch Zak pounding his member inside of my mouth.

The fact that he was enjoying himself so much made my body feel hot with longing as well. Zak fucked my mouth fast and hard as he cried out my name. His hips grinded against my face to shove his dick inside of my mouth deeper and deeper. I could understand why he thought I might not be able to take it.

“I’m going to...cum very soon. Remove your mouth, Natalia...” Zak said hoarsely. Why did he want me to remove my mouth? I don’t want to. I want to make him cum.

“Natalia, if you don’t remove your mouth, I’m going to cum inside your mouth...you know, I’ll ejaculate...release my sperm inside of your mouth...” Zak struggled to explain to make sure that I understood what was going to happen. I feared what would happen but...not scared enough for me to leave Zak. I wanted to give him pleasure, if that meant taking his sperm inside of my mouth then...

I refused to let go and Zak couldn’t stop pumping his cock inside my mouth. I could tell that he must be very close to his climax now, his cock was hotter than before, and I could already taste what must be his sperm a little already. Zak’s hips jerked wildly now, and he held my head tighter pulling it down against his up-thrusting cock.

“Natalia!! I can’t...if you don’t want this...use the safety sign. Now!” Zak screamed at me, and I knew that if I didn’t use it now, he wouldn’t be able to stop anymore. But I didn’t want to use it. I want him to...cum inside my mouth.

Since I didn’t use the safety sign, Zak continued to pump his cock crazily into my mouth and I sucked on him hard to bring him closer to his release. He screamed my name repeatedly as he pounded my mouth hard and fast and then shoving it in one last time before exploding inside of my mouth. I felt hot and slimy liquid fill the cavity of my mouth as he shot his hot semen deep inside my throat. His taste and his smell filled my mouth and my senses completely. There was so much of it, Zak was panting hard and even more of his sperm spurted out inside of my mouth. So, this is what Zak’s sperm tastes like. I want to know everything...about Zak.

This was my first time witnessing Zak, or any man, climaxing and it was a intriguing sight. Zak was still for a little while before he slowly slid his cock out of my mouth. It made me realize that I had so much of his hot semen inside of my mouth. What do I do with it? Do I...swallow it?

“God, Natalia...Wait here. I’ll grab the bin...” Zak said as he rushed off to grab the bin from the corner of the room. He was so flustered; I’ve never seen him like this, and it was quite entertaining.

What would it feel like if I ate his cum? Would he get mad?

“Here, Natalia...don’t tell me...you swallowed the whole thing? You stupid girl...” Zak said as he returned with the small bin in his hand. Judging from the look on my face, he figured correctly that I had already swallowed all his seed. I felt it warm in my belly. Zak sigh and just shook his head in disbelief.

We sat next to each other still naked on the bed. I leaned on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me. I wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of us. I felt so happy, I could die now without regrets.

“Zak, did you quit smoking?” I asked when I realized that his ashtray was gone and there were no cigarette buds lying around or in the bin that he just brought over. The room didn’t smell of cigarettes either.

“Yeah...I figured that you hated it. You know, from our first kiss...” Zak replied flatly but I could sense that he was a bit bashful at that moment. I couldn’t stop smiling knowing that Zak thought so much about me.

Today I experienced so many firsts with Zak. I wasn’t sure if we could be together forever, but while we are still together, I decided that I wanted to share as many of my firsts with Zak as possible. I was young and I didn’t know what love was and perhaps, I still didn’t know. But I heard they say that love can come in many forms. Then for me, this was definitely one of them.

...

“Remember what I said? Today I’m going to make you the most beautiful and the most desirable...not that I don’t think you’re already goddamn beautiful and desirable already...” Zak explained a little as we held hands and walked side by side.

Today Zak was taking me to meet his stylist friends that he had met while working as a model. Zak was doing a photoshoot today and had invited me so that his stylish friend could recommend some make up and hair styles to me.

“I see. I think Natalia is already very pretty but picking out some colorful make up can add additional dimensions to her look. Personally, I would recommend some gold and pink tone make-up for both the eyes and the cheeks. Eyeliner would also work well to highlight your eyes,” Pinky, the make-up artist said as he (or she?) pointed to a couple of colors in the palette to show me. She must be so good at her job.

“I agree with you but I think those colors are too basic and normal. I would prefer if Natalia wore cheerful colors like light blue, gold, and turquoise for the eyeshadow and orange-tone for the cheeks. Then something glossy and shiny for the lips,” Zak interjected as he pointed to a different set of colors on the palette. I didn’t know Zak liked such bright colors.

“I see where you’re coming from. So, Natalia, would you like to try on the that Zak chose? I can give you a makeover right now,” Pinky offered with a kind smile. I was glad to see that Zak had many kind friends out of school as well.

“Yes, please,” I replied cheerfully. I also wanted to see how I would look in the colors that Zak had chosen.

...

“Wow. These colors do suit you. It’s like you look ten thousand times happier when you’re wearing these bright colors. I added eyeliner so your eyes would pop out more. This look really suits you. Well done Zak!” Pinky exclaimed with joy after she finished applying make up on me.

“Wow. I like these colors. I sort of look like a peacock. I mean the colors...are very peacock-like?” I said as I examined myself in the mirror before turning to smile happily at Zak.

“You look so beautiful. These colors, promise to wear them to cheer me up sometimes, ok?” Zak said as he kissed my cheek softly. I guess we don’t have to hide our relationship here, no one knows who we really are here. Perhaps, even if they knew, they wouldn’t care.

“Ok. I promise,” I replied softly as we kissed.

Back then, I should have known that if something was too precious to us, it would be taken away without fail...

Chapter 98: Anniversary

Finally, this day came around again this year. Today is the death anniversary of my dear mother. As per the custom of the house, everyone in the mansion was dressed head-to-toe in black today as a sign of mourning and remembrance of my mother. I woke up at dawn to shower and get dressed. Reiner and Laura helped me get dressed in a long silk black dress that was matched with a big black bow headband. Black patent leather mid-heel shoes completed the look. The absolute must-have accessory for today are big and black sunglasses. The bigger the better to cover my swollen eyes when I cry. I cry every year; this year won’t be any different.

Today, Lucien and I will visit my mother’s grave which was located on a hilltop in the outskirts. Due to family politics, my mother was not laid to rest in the Rosenhall’s family graveyard. I’m sure she is much happier where she is now rather than being buried underground forever amongst the dead and gone Rosenhalls. Usually, it would just be Lucien and I on this day trip, but this year Reiner was joining us because Lucien had requested for him to drive.

I met Lucien in the sitting room as we prepared for our departure. The atmosphere was solemn at best and as always, this day seem to hit Lucien hard. Lucien also wore black from head to toe. Black suit, shirt, pants, necktie, belt, and shoes. Everything about him was black and dark today including his mood. The only thing that had color in him was his green eyes. Wordlessly we got inside the back of Lucien’s black Rolls-Royce.

The journey was long, but no one spoke a word during the whole ride. Lucien held my hand all the way and silently our presence comforted each other. I’m sure that during the ride to my mother grave, Lucien must have been recalling memories he shared with her similar to how I replayed the happy days I had with her in my mind. I really miss you, mother. I’m about to start crying already, and we’re not even at her grave yet. It never gets any easier.

...

As Natalia recalled her precious memories with her mother, Lucien was thinking of his future with Natalia. Natalia was twenty-two now and a young woman already, Lucien thought to himself as he kept his eyes forward. Lucien had been sleepless for a few nights already as he antagonized about how he should tell Natalia the truth. He probably couldn’t tell her everything all at once, but slowly over time he had hoped to slowly tell her parts of the truth. Today is an important day for her to remember her mother, it is the perfect day to tell her the truth about her mother.

I wonder how she will react. Would she even believe me in the first place?

...

After around two hours in the car, we arrived at my mother’s grave. Reiner opened the door for us with a bow as he took my hand to help me out of the car.

“Reiner, please wait here,” Lucien instructed. Reiner nodded and bowed before closing the car door.

From here, we had to walk by foot up the hill a little in order to get to the tombstone. Lucien had chosen this hill so that my mother would have a view from the top of the city nearby and the nature. Even my mother’s final resting place must have been chosen with so much love and care by Lucien. I felt sorry for Lucien that my mother passed away too soon; he was and perhaps still is, clearly heartbroken.

Lucien held my hand firmly in his as he supported me up the slightly uphill path towards my mother’s grave. Soon we arrived at our destination. For a grave that was located in such a remote area, it was well kept in order. Thanks to a family that lived near here who had agreed to take care of my mother’s grave in exchange for a fee.

Lucien and I placed our bouquet of flowers onto her grave before we knelt down to pray silently. I usually had many things that I wanted to tell my mother whenever I visited her here. However, this year, I didn’t know what to tell her. There were so many things that I’ve done that I’m sure she wouldn’t be too proud of. For example, having sex with the handsome man next to me, who was her ex-husband, although I knew that he was about to marry someone else.

I’m a terrible daughter and I don’t have anything to say for myself. I love you, mum. I want to believe that your decision to place me under Lucien’s care was the right one. I will not run away from anyone or anything, so just watch over me. Ok?

I got up to my feet when I was done. Lucien was already done and was standing silently while he waited for me to finish. Now we stood side by side and he took my cold hand into his. The wind blew around us on the mountain top and the view was breathtakingly beautiful. I closed my eyes as I took deep breaths of the fresh air that nature had to offer.

Glancing over at Lucien, I made up my mind to ask him the questions I’ve had on my mind for a while. We were standing in front of my mother’s grave, so it seemed like the right time and place to ask him.

“Lucien, may I ask you a few questions?” I said to him softly and slowly as I tugged at his hand a little.

“Sure,” he replied as he smiled at me. I wonder if he would still be smiling after he’d heard my question.

“You’re going to marry Angela, right? Do you...really love her?” I asked firmly without hesitation. Enough putting it off, I needed to know right now.

Lucien was quiet as he thought it over a bit.

Chapter 99: Loveless

“I will marry Angela because I have to. But I don’t love her. I never have, I never planned to, and I never will,” Lucien replied earnestly. I guess I was relieved that he didn’t love her.

“I see. I thought you’re marrying her out of love like how you married my mother. I didn’t think you would marry without love,” I replied honestly.

“Natalia. Listen carefully...” Lucien said in a low voice as he stepped closer to me to place both his hands on my shoulders.

“Yes?” I replied.

“I’ve never married anyone for love,” Lucien stated blandly.

“What do you mean...by that?” I asked, confused. What about my mother?

“I won’t be marrying Angela for love, and I didn’t marry your mother because I loved her either,” Lucien stated, clearer this time in order to make sure that I understood.

“It can’t be...you never loved my mother?!” I gasped with shock. Did he trick her? Why?

“I never loved her. I had a lot of respect for her, and I still do but never once did I have any romantic feelings towards her,” Lucien replied honestly.

“No...why did you trick her? She was so in love with you!” I cried as I struggled to brush his hand off of my shoulders.

“I didn’t trick her! She was never in love with me either. Your mother and I, we never had a romantic relationship with each other,” Lucien tried to explain.

“Then why did you marry her? Why did you marry each other? I always thought you two were so in love and I was so happy when my mother married you,” I shot back. Clearly, I was shocked and upset.

“Listen to me. I know this may come as a shock to you, but I married your mother in order to protect both you and her. Your mother agreed to my proposal because I promised her that I would keep you safe and that you would have a stable life,” Lucien explained slowly.

“No...this can’t be true,” I said as I shook my head in denial. My mother found Lucien and she was happy to get married to the love of her life.

“Your mother never loved me. Even when we were living together, I never held her hand, I never touched her and I never slept with her in every sense of the word,” Lucien said desperately.

“So, in the end, my mother died without experiencing any happiness? Then what was this whole charade for? It can’t be. Lucien, why do you have to protect my mother and I?” I asked suspiciously. I couldn’t think of a reason why Lucien needed to protect us or go so far as to marry my mother in order to do so.

“...I can’t tell you...but I need you to trust me. I will protect you,” Lucien replied as he hugged me tightly to him. I felt the warmth of his body against the whole of my own.

“No...I can’t believe this. It’s just too sad...and none of it makes sense. I’m sorry...please leave me alone,” I wailed in a cracked voice. The wetness I felt on my cheeks told me that I was crying. I’m sorry, Lucien, but I just can’t accept what you just told me. If the foundation of my life is destroyed, how do I keep on living from now on?

I couldn’t face Lucien anymore. I ran back to the car as fast as I could. I sobbed and cried all the way. Why did I force myself to go through all that suffering if it never made my mother happy? I couldn’t protect her happiness; there was nothing for me to protect from the beginning.

...

Lucien watched as Natalia ran away from him. He let her go because there was nothing more that he could say to her to comfort her or to give her more clarity.

“I apologize. I made your daughter cry right in front of you. Did I do the right thing by telling her the truth about us? I swear to you that I will protect her. Not just because she’s your daughter but because I really love her. I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you...or your husband...” Lucien spoke to the lifeless tombstone before bowing low.

...

Reiner looked up to see Natalia running towards him. She seemed very distraught. What happened between her and Lucien? Lucien is no where in sight yet.

“Natalia? Are you ok?” Reiner shouted to Natalia.

Natalia didn’t reply to him as she continued running towards him.

“R...” I called Reiner’s name as I flung myself into his arms. I hugged him tight as I buried my face into his chest and cried my eyes out.

“Natalia...what happened? Where is Lucien?” Reiner asked with concern.

I just shook my head and continued to sob into his manly chest. I want to go home. I just want to sleep and never wake up.

Reiner wrapped his arms around me and held me until I couldn’t cry anymore. After that, he helped me into the car without asking any more questions. I appreciate the gesture and his understanding that I didn’t want to talk about it, at least not right now. He handed me a bottle of water so that I could wash my face to get rid of the traces of my tears. I put on my big black sunglasses, thankful that I did not forget this essential piece of accessory for today. Although, I cried for a different reason this year, the sunglasses still served its purpose of covering my swollen eyes.

“R...what would you do if your whole world is crumbling away at your feet...?” I spoke up softly as I covered my face with my hands.

After a while, Lucien returned to the car, and we wordlessly began our journey back the mansion. Lucien and I didn’t say a word to each other all the way back. I kept my hands on my lap so that we wouldn’t have to hold hands.

Chapter 100: Illusion’s End

The worst part out of all of this was that you couldn’t ask the dead questions to find out the truth, I thought to myself, as Reiner escorted me to my bedroom. It was close to dinner time and today Lucien was home. Well, it’s not like I can keep avoiding him forever. I didn’t even bother to change for dinner.

I sat down at the dinner table wearing the same long black dress that I wore to visit my mother’s grave. I apologized silently to the chef and all the kitchen staffs in my head. I’m sure they did a wonderful job crafting all the dishes that made part of our full course dinner, but to me, it just tasted like dry sand.

Lucien was silent as he ate his food. I wonder when it all started. When did I stop looking forward to spending time alone with Lucien at dinner? When did I start to avoid having dinner alone with him? If I knew, would I be able to do something to fix this or was it already too late?

“Is there a way to cancel your wedding with Angela?” I spat out my question out of the blue. Lucien choked on his food and Reiner winced in the corner of the room. I’m not surprised that they’re surprised by my abrupt and direct question. I was surprised at myself and my courage too.

“No. Unfortunately, there isn’t,” Lucien replied after he had recovered from his shock and his choking subsided.

“How long do you need to be married to her? If this is a business contract you signed with the elders, then there surely is an expiration date, right? Or did you forget to negotiate for that clause?” I asked as I put down my silver knife with a clang.

“Two years. I can divorce her after two years,” Lucien replied with a sigh.

Two years...that’s much longer than I thought. I was hoping for something along the lines of three to six months. Now that I know that Lucien does not love her, the main troubling thing was that I felt that Angela truly wants Lucien as her real husband. Not just a husband in name by business contract. I don’t think Lucien knows this and I am certain that he has no plans on how to handle her. I need to come up with some plan...

“Does she need to move in here with us? Or can she live somewhere else?” I asked further for more details.

“She needs to move into the mansion...” Lucien started to explain.

“...but she doesn’t need to sleep in the same room as you do, right? My mother slept in a different room when she was married to you,” I interjected. If I can’t keep her out of this mansion, I can at least keep her away from Lucien’s bed.

“Reiner, please leave,” Lucien spoke to Reiner in a low voice; however, his wonderfully green eyes did not leave mine.

I heard the door opening and then closing. Reiner must have left the room already.

“Why did you ask Reiner to leave?” I asked curtly.

“Because I am not going to let him find out about our relationship. Do not forget that Reiner is a high-ranking butler from the main house,” Lucien explained in a tight voice.

“But I didn’t mention anything about our relationship...” I argued back. I don’t believe that Reiner will report about us to the Elders. Plus, he already knew what Lucien did to me that day in this dining room. He was the one who cleaned by body after the ordeal so...

“You were acting jealous,” Lucien stated with an edge to his voice.

“No...I wasn’t,” I denied. At least, I don’t think I was.

Lucien sighed as he stood from his seat and strode towards me.

“Face me,” he ordered as he whipped the chair that I was sitting on to face him. He leaned in close as his arms held both sides of the chair, preventing my escape. I gulped.

“Admit that you’re jealous, Natalia. You don’t want me to have sex with Angela, right?” Lucien whispered into my ear. He then proceeded to plan soft yet firm kisses on my jawline trailing downwards to the side of my neck. He’s right, I don’t want him sleeping with Angela.

“No...I’m not...” I denied once again. Lucien laughed softly before his lips nibbled lightly on mine.

“I see...” Lucien murmured as he continued to kiss me softly on the lips. He was teasing me, his gentle lips seducing mine with gentle kisses and soft nibbles. I felt my breathing become more labored.

“Lucien...” I whispered his name although I didn’t have anything else to say.

“You saw us, didn’t you? Angela and me...that day in my study. You watched us have sex, didn’t you?” Lucien questioned as he locked eyes with me.

He saw me that day! My eyes widened in shock. Why is he bringing that up now?

“You don’t need to deny it. So, how did it make you feel to see me doing that with someone else? Were you upset? Were you jealous?” Lucien continued to question me. Is he right? Do I feel upset and jealous when I think of him with someone else?

“I...don’t want you to have sex with Angela...anymore,” I said through gritted teeth. I’ve chosen to be very direct and very aggressive with this gamble.

Lucien was stunned for a moment at my words. However, soon after, I could see his lips curling into a very satisfied smile. I guess, I won this gamble.

“I promise I won’t have sex with Angela anymore even if I still have to marry her. Thank you for being honest with me,” Lucien said with a slight smile. He was pleased.

“Thank you for agreeing to my very selfish request,” I replied back with a small smile.

Lucien leaned in to kiss me. His kiss was full of passion this time and I yielded to him when his hot tongue probed my lips to seek entrance into my mouth. I parted my lips to taste him as I moaned softly and seductively against his seeking tongue. I ran my fingers through his hair. I love this passionate version of Lucien. I want him to look at only me with those fervent green eyes.

His hand slipped inside the front of my dress and my bra to tease the soft flesh of my breast. His hand was warm and tender as he stroked and squeezed me there. If this continues, will he take me here? I need to get a hold of myself.

“Lucien, please stop...not today,” I said in a sad voice.

“Is it because today is the anniversary of your mother’s death?” Lucien asked as he withdrew his hand from my chest.

I nodded slowly in reply. I still didn’t want to believe that he had absolutely no feelings for my mother. Doing this with her ex-husband on the anniversary of her death seemed too wrong.

“I understand. We’ll stop here for today. Natalia, you still don’t believe me when I say that I never loved or touched your mother, do you?” Lucien asked with a very pained expression on his face.

How could I believe something like that so easily? If it was true, what did I go through all this hell for? I suffered so much all this time for my mother to be happy. I was happy as long as she was happy but now, you’re telling me that she was never loved, and she was never happy?

“I can’t...not right now. I’m sorry,” I replied truthfully.