Ch. 381..385: Love Slave to the Mafia Boss's Passion Chapter 381-385

Chapter 381: The Letter

After coming back to the mansion from the hospital, I had left the letter there with the thought to read it later alone when I had time to relax. It wasn’t like I had forgotten about it, more like I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet.

"In my closet. Should I go get it now?" I offered.

"No. Eat first. We can read it right after dinner," Hayden said as he began eating.

I chewed at the food while my mind wondered why Hayden wanted to read the letter that Ethan gave to me so much? Was he just jealous and wanted to pry into what Ethan had written? Was that it?

Finally, dinner was over, and we headed to Hayden’s living room where he waited for me to go fetch the letter that Ethan had given me.

When I opened the envelope there was another envelope inside that looked much older than the one on the outside. Something about the old and slightly worn envelope told me that the letter inside wasn’t written recently and that it wasn’t written by Ethan.

There was no point in wondering or guessing about the identity of the person who wrote it or the content of the letter at this point because all I had to do was open the second envelope.

I could feel Hayden’s eyes on my shaky hands as I held the old envelope between my fingers. What exactly is inside?

"Open it," Hayden said encouragingly.

"Ok…" I replied in a whisper before my fingers moved to carefully unseal and open the envelope.

The paper inside seemed to be in good condition and I could tell that this envelope had never been opened before. I removed the paper from the envelope and unfolded it to reveal the handwritten letter inside.

My hand shook and my brows furrowed in disbelief when I saw the familiar handwriting that I will forever recognize. Father’s handwriting. There’s no mistaking it, this is definitely my father’s handwriting.

"Dad…" I whispered.

"Read it to me," Hayden instructed calmly as he backed away from me as if to give me some space and some privacy.

Hayden didn’t seem so surprised that my father was the one who wrote this letter and that this was never truly a letter from Ethan from the start. Many questions emerged into my mind but none of them were as important as the content of the letter from my father that was right in front of me right now. When did he write this? How come Ethan has a letter to me from my father?

"Dear My Lisa…" I began reading out loud.

’If you are reading this then your mother and I are probably long gone from this world. Your mother and I decided to write you this letter so that we can congratulate you on one of the most important days of your life, your wedding day. We wish with all our hearts that you will be smiling as a happy bride on this memorable day while standing proudly next to the love of your life.

Although we may not be with you, we hope that you know that your mother and father love you so very much.

How old are you now, Lisa?

You must have grown into a beautiful young woman who has your mother’s kind smile and wonderful spirit. It’s such a shame that we both didn’t live long enough to witness you blossom into the woman that you are today. You must be confused about many things and hurt by the many things that have probably happened to you all because of our selfishness.

We know that we owe you some answers and although we can’t anticipate all your questions, here are our answers.’

"Is that enough already...?" I asked in a small and broken voice as more tears streamed down my eyes.

I could barely form the words anymore as my sobs wrecked my body. It was getting difficult to breathe and I no longer wanted to read these words from my parents to Hayden.

"Keep going…" Hayden demanded emotionlessly.

"No…I can’t…" I admitted truthfully.

I had no idea what was in the letter or why my parents chose to write it. Just reading it hurts. I could feel so much of their love, fears, sorrow, and regret in every word written on this piece of paper. Worst of all, it seemed like my parents knew that their life could be in danger. Did they know that they were going to die?

"Yes, you can…" Hayden stated firmly.

I bit on my lower lip as I tried to stifle my sobs and stop my tears. It was hard. I placed the paper down on the table in front of me before using my fingers to wipe the tears away from my eyes. My vision felt so blurry. After blowing my nose unattractively into a tissue, I picked up the letter again and began reading as Hayden watched me.

"If you haven’t figured it out by now, I would like to confess that I was part of a mafia gang and family…" I began reading.

’When you were young, a certain incident made us reflect on our role as parents. We felt that we couldn’t provide you with the safety and security that you deserve given my position in the gang. Shortly after, we decided to cut ties with the mafia and go into hiding. All of it was to give you a fair shot at a normal life.

I hope that we have provided you with a good and normal childhood as we raised you in a normal family. However, as we are writing this, we have realized that the dream world that we have created may not last. If something may befall us, then it is our last wish that you survive and that you have a wonderful and long life.

Our decision to cut ties with the mafia wasn’t to keep you away from them but we wanted to give you a chance to choose for yourself what you want to do with your life. If for that to happen, both of us need to disappear, then that is the price that we are willing to pay.’

 

Chapter 382: Endless Love

’In my time with the mafia, I had been fortunate enough to help raise two boys who will be influential in the mafia scene when they get older. Their names are Ethan and Hayden. If you meet them, which I am sure that you will, please apologize to them for me for not taking care of them until the very end. Those two should have grown up into very respectable men right now.

If they know who you are, they will undoubtedly help and support you.

Hayden’s father and I are very close friends. When he helped to rescue you from danger, we made a funny promise that you would marry Hayden in the future. We doubt that that would really happen, but we would be beyond happy if that is how things have turned out.

Lastly, we love you and we just want you to know that we are proud of you and whatever choices you made for yourself.’

"With endless love…" I finished reading the letter.

"Don’t cry, Malissa," Hayden told me.

"I’m sorry," I quickly apologized as I wiped my tears away with my hands.

"It’s ok now…" Hayden whispered.

I felt his strong arms around me as he pulled me into his embrace. His warmth and familiar scent enveloped me. I started crying again as he held me against his hard and broad chest. His hand stroked the back of my head tenderly as he continued to hold me in his arms to comfort me. Despite his words, Hayden’s actions were so gentle and loving.

"There’s no need for you to cry, Malissa. Your parents wrote you such a loving letter. I’m sure that they are proud of you just like they have written in the letter," Hayden comforted me before he kissed the top of my head.

"I don’t know…" I muttered in between my sobs.

I wasn’t sure if I lived up to my parent’s expectations or not. There wasn’t a hint of regret in my body about the choices that I’ve made but I was so upset. I had no idea that my parents had to pay such a hefty price just so I could live a normal life and just so that I would have the privilege to make my own decisions about what I wanted in life.

"At least I ended up marrying you…" I mumbled softly to myself.

"What did you say?" Hayden asked softly next to my ear.

"I said…that at least I ended up marrying you just like what my parents had hoped…" I whispered before I felt tears pooling in my eyes again.

Hayden stroked my hair before he started kissing it. His touch felt gentle and warm. I snuggled closer against his body as if seeking for more of his comfort. His hand stroked my back as he continued to hold me close.

"Did you know about this letter?" I asked what came to mind.

"Not really…but I had a hunch…" Hayden replied softly.

"Really?" I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

"Ethan mentioned that he gave you a letter. The way he said it told me that it must have been from your parents…and not from him…" Hayden admitted solemnly.

"I see…" I murmured against his chest.

Wait a second. If Hayden knew that this letter wasn’t a letter from Ethan to me, then why was he so interested in knowing it’s content enough to ask to be here with me when I read it.

"Why did you ask to read the letter with me?" I asked directly as I tipped my face up to look at his face.

Hayden’s blue eyes stared down at me before his beautiful lips curved into a small smile.

"If I didn’t ask for you to read it with me…then you’ll be crying all alone right now, right?" Hayden said knowingly.

He wanted to…be here to comfort me? Am I understanding him, right?

"Thank you…Hayden…" I whispered as I buried my crying face back into his chest.

His strong arms around me felt so safe. For now, I’ll just hide here from the world and let him comfort me.

…

My nights have been sleepless for many nights now. I laid next to Hayden in bed with my eyes wide opened although I couldn’t see much in the darkness. Ever since having that dream in the hospital, it came back to haunt me over and over again. That young teenager who looked so much like the younger version of Hayden just wouldn’t leave me alone.

The dream was always the same and in my dream, he would say the exact same thing. It drove me crazy to the point where I got scared. I had to convince myself repeatedly that ghosts don’t exist. Hayden was still alive so that younger guy couldn’t possibly be Hayden’s ghost. This conversation that I had with myself was enough proof to me that I was indeed losing my mind.

Whenever I went to sleep, he would come to me. I thought that I would get used to it or that he would simply disappear one day but that hasn’t happened yet. When I closed my eyes, I would feel scared of falling asleep because I didn’t want to see him.

"Malissa…what’s wrong?" Hayden asked sleepily from close to me.

I could feel the bed shift under us as he turned his body around. Then his arms were around me as he hugged me close to him.

"Nothing. I need to go to the toilet…don’t mind me…" I replied softly before getting out of bed.

If I told him that I kept having dreams where I saw a younger version of him, would he think that I’m losing it?

Most probably.

I walked over slowly to the toilet in the dark to put myself back together. It seemed like the only way to stop that guy from visiting me in my dream is for me to fall asleep from exhaustion. That usually happened when Hayden made love to me roughly until I fell asleep or when I am adequately sleep deprived.

 

Chapter 383: Before I Lose It

Staring at the dark circles under my eyes in the mirror, I was finally convinced that I had to do something about this recurring nightmare before I really lose it. The answer was simple enough to identify but as always it was much harder to execute. I should tell Hayden about the dream and simply ask him about it. There are two reasons why I haven’t done that just yet.

First, I had been trying to understand what the dream could mean and how it may have a link to reality. So far, I’ve come up with a very plausible theory even if I do say so myself. Second, it was just plain hard to bring this topic up to Hayden. Something told me that he wouldn’t like to discuss it with me.

I’ve realized it way before now that Hayden wasn’t a fan of digging up old relics from the past.

It was a few days later when I found the perfect opportunity to talk about it with Hayden. Thankfully, we didn’t have to do anything in preparation for our wedding ceremony or celebration. The boss was happy enough if we could just stick to the old sequence that we rehearsed last time which was easy enough for both of us. That meant that we both had a lot of free time on our hands.

I’ve taken a break from accepting new commission art projects for now, but this free time gave me the opportunity to wrap up some pending commissions.

There was an urgent piece of work that I had to work on that couldn’t be pushed back like some of the rest. Ironically, it was a painting of a couple who were getting married. The bride’s mother had commissioned it as a wedding present for her daughter. That meant that the painting had to be completed in time before her daughter’s wedding.

It was quite funny that I had to be working on a wedding present for someone else when my own celebration was just around the corner.

Hayden walked into my art studio late in the afternoon and that caught me by surprise. I cocked my head to the side as he plopped himself down on a stool close to me. I wondered why Hayden was home so early today.

"Not so much work today?" I took a guess.

"Yeah…thankfully…" Hayden replied as he shrugged off his white suit.

"Are you hungry? It might be a little early for dinner now, though…" I asked before shifting my attention back to the painting in front of me.

I felt Hayden’s presence close behind me and realized that he was standing behind me now. He was probably looking at the paint that I was working on.

"Looks good. Your client is getting married?" he asked.

"No, but her daughter is. That’s why I’m working hard to finish this off," I replied before I turned to flash him a smile.

"I guess you’re not excited about our wedding anymore…" Hayden said with a small laugh.

"I’m just praying that it would go smoothly this time, or your father will pop a vein somewhere for sure," I teased back.

"It better go well because it would be truly sad if we had to take a fourth crack at it," Hayden replied with a laugh.

"Are you free later today?" I asked while trying to keep my tone light and casual.

"I am. Why?" Hayden replied.

"Want to take a little stroll in the garden today with me? It’s been a long while…" I suggested invitingly.

"…Sure," Hayden replied before he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me from behind.

"I need to work, you know…" I muttered in slight protest.

"Right. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be around…call me when you’re done," Hayden said as he willingly let go of me.

When Hayden left, I let out a long sigh. This is going to be a strange and very difficult conversation for me, and I had no idea how Hayden would react. If I got this all wrong, he would probably think that I’ve lost my mind for sure.

…

The wind in my face and hair was pleasant and calming. Hayden held my hand as we walked slowly through the gardens of the mansion. It just before sunset and there was just enough light from the sun in the sky. After we have this chat, which shouldn’t take long, we should be in time to have our usual dinner together.

"Should we take a seat?" I said invitingly when we arrived in front of a bench.

This area in was quite deep in the garden and it was very private. Normally, no one ventured into the gardens that often anyways besides from the gardeners and it was past their working hours by then. I figured that no one would disturb us here and the view from this bench was a bonus to the eyes.

"Sure," Hayden agreed passively.

We sat down on the bench side and side. I took in a deep breath as if to enjoy the fresh air but that wasn’t the case. The truth was, I was so nervous of what I needed to say to him.

"Umm…You lied, right?" I asked.

Hayden turned to look at me with an astonished look on his face. He didn’t bother to hide his surprise at my words and then his eyes narrowed at me.

Did that come out too much like an accusation just now? Why does it look like Hayden’s about to pounce on me and tear me to tiny pieces?

"I mean…" I mumbled as I tried to find better words. So much for rehearsing this beforehand…

"I have no idea what you’re talking about," Hayden replied quite darkly.

The coward in me told me that it wasn’t too late to turn this conversation around to talk about something else instead. However, I no longer wanted to listen to the coward in me.

"When you told me that you didn’t know anything about the last time that I was kidnapped. You were lying, right?" I asked again, this time with much more context than the last.

 

Chapter 384: Shared Past

’…I was too young to get involved in the incident, but I remember that it was a big mess. In the end, the adults got you back,’

I recalled the words that he said when he told me about the kidnapping incident that happened when I was a very young child. How come I didn’t remember anything about it until recently?

It was hard to believe but it seemed like the recent kidnapping worked to somehow trigger my memory about that unpleasant incident from the past.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about," Hayden replied once again with an unreadable expression on his face.

Great. He’s completely denying it and I have no proof that I’m right. Maybe I’m the only one going crazy here after all. Regardless, I’ve come this far so…

"You called me Lisa…When you came to save me, you called me Lisa…" I told him with such desperation in my voice that I was shocked at myself.

"Did I?" he asked as if he had no clue what I was talking about.

"…You did," I replied with a firm nod of my head.

I was scared and I was shocked, but I remembered it very clearly. When Hayden came for me, he called me ’Lisa’ instead of Malissa like how he used to call me. I noticed it then, but I didn’t have the time to think about it and so much went on during our time in the hospital and after that that I never got around to contemplate it until recently.

However, I was certain that he did call me Lisa and then I had that disturbing dream while I was sleeping in the hospital.

That boy in my dream, he called me ’Lisa’ so clearly and so many times…

There’s no mistaking it. He called me Lisa.

If Hayden knew anything about what I was talking about or alluding to, he did not show it. I can’t read him at all. This might just be a groundless speculation based on a dream that I didn’t even want to see but…

"Back when I was younger, when I was kidnapped…did you save me then too?" I asked as I stared deeply into his blue eyes.

When Hayden looked away from me, I knew that I was right. Even if he won’t admit it, I was quite certain now that I was right. That scene that kept replaying in my dreams over and over again until it robbed me of any decent sleep, really took place. Hayden saved me.

Why didn’t he tell me anything before this? Why did he have to keep it a secret and how come I couldn’t recall anything at all before this?

"What’s the use of telling you or bringing up something that happened so long ago. You didn’t even remember that it happened," Hayden replied solemnly.

"You should have told me. Why did you lie and say that you didn’t know anything about it? Like…you had nothing to do with it…" I demanded to know as my eyes searched his.

"I just told you. There’s no point in bringing it up. You were better the way you were before. You were happier. There’s no need for you to remember something so haunting," Hayden replied calmly.

"You should have told me. I keep on seeing it. I keep on seeing you, when you were younger…when you came to save me…" I said before my lower lip started quivering.

I bit hard on it to stop it from shaking while I felt tears sting the back of my eyes. It all happened in the past, so why am I feeling so emotional about it now?

"You remember?" Hayden asked with pure concern on his face.

"I don’t know…I don’t know…" I confessed.

"It doesn’t matter. You’re safe now and that is all that matters. Let’s go back inside," Hayden said curtly to put an end to the conversation.

He got up from the bench and offered me his hand, but I hesitated to take it. Why can’t he just admit it and tell me what happened? If he does, the nightmare will go away, right?

"Hayden, this might sound very stupid but…I have a feeling that the nightmare that’s been haunting me won’t go away if you don’t tell me what happened," I murmured as I stared up into his face.

After staring at each other’s eyes for a moment, Hayden sighed as he seemed to give in. He sat back down next to me on the bench with a depressed look on his face.

"Just tell me. It’s not that hard, right? I didn’t remember anything before but now I’m having nightmares about it…" I said before smiling encouragingly at him.

Hayden did not look impressed by my smile at all as he shook his head slowly from side to side.

"There’s not much to tell. I went looking for you. I found you and then the adults came to help you. That’s all there is to it," Hayden summarized in a very rushed way.

Maybe not remembering the details would be better for me. That seemed to be the way that Hayden saw it as well.

"Why didn’t you tell me before?" I asked.

He didn’t just not tell me. He went as far as the erase his entire involvement in the whole thing when he told me.

"I’m not looking to take any credit for what I did. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I would have preferred if you didn’t recall any bad memories from the past," he replied before grinning a little my way.

"I see…" I mumbled.

"That’s it. Happy now? Let’s head back," Hayden said and once again he got up from the bench and offered a hand towards me.

I reached out my hand and grabbed his, but I refused to get up from the bench.

"What is it now?" Hayden asked with slight annoyance in his tone.

I looked up into his face before I smiled a little at him.

"Thank you…for saving me…twice…" I murmured a little shyly.

Chapter 385: Third Attempt

The day of our third attempt at our wedding ceremony was a bright and sunny day. I woke up feeling as lazy as ever and the way that Hayden yawned told me that he probably felt the same. He ran his fingers through his blond hair and made a face like he couldn’t be bothered. It was a Saturday, and I was sure that he wanted to sleep in more than going to the church for our wedding ceremony.

It was strange to exchange vows with a man who was already my husband. However, we both knew better than to make a scene about it. The faster we went through with this, the sooner it would be over, and we could move on with our lives. Just as I had agreed with Hayden, we wanted to keep the ceremony very simple by doing only the basic and required things.

"At least I get to wear the wedding dress that you got tailored for me and we can take nice photos together," I said with a smile.

"Yeah…" Hayden replied sleepily.

I watched as he stretched before he slowly got out of bed. Slowly, I got out of bed while praying silently inside my head for this wedding to end without any surprising incidents. When we arrived at the same church, security was so tight that it looked like a mini warzone. Too many men were on guard, and they were probably too heavily armed too judging by the huge guns that they were carrying.

I sincerely hoped that uninvited guests won’t turn up because violence would ensue for sure.

Unlike the time before, there was absolutely no privacy in the dressing room. Three men stood guard in front of the room and another three stood guard inside my dressing room. This was probably Ethan’s idea. On top of that, Luka was there with me to act as the final layer of security. Now if only the men could apply my make up and do my hair as well, that would be the most perfect thing ever.

"You look really pretty. Hayden is going to be so surprised to see you," Luka said with a broad smile after I was done dressing up.

"You think so?" I asked before returning his smile.

"Of course. Welcome to the family," Luka affirmed with certainty.

I flashed him one last smile before he led me out of the room. Within a few minutes, I would be walking down the aisle to exchange my vows with Hayden. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I realized that I won’t be kidnapped this time around. I hadn’t known that I was feeling a little on edge until that moment.

Immediately, I tried to shake all negative thoughts from my head to focus on the wedding before me. Since we’re going through this anyways, we might as well have a good time and create good memories while we’re at it.

"Please be on standby here," Luka instructed me as he continued to stand by my side.

Because I didn’t have any family members left, there was no one to walk me down the aisle. At first, I wanted to walk alone but the boss had offered to escort me. I was scared to have him escort me at first, but I could see the generosity behind his action.

"You look very beautiful. Chin up and smile for the camera. Don’t worry about anything. Even if you trip and fall, I’ll catch you," the boss told me reassuringly before he started laughing loudly.

It was just like the boss to be able to make jokes in all circumstances as long as he was in a good mood. I turned and smiled at him before I nodded in acknowledgement.

"Shall we?" the boss asked.

"Yes, thank you…" I replied.

The door in front of us opened and I was temporarily blinded by the bright light that shone on us. I guess the boss did not approve of my plan to cut the lighting and decorations. The band played the classical wedding march and suddenly, it really felt real that I was getting married. There were so many people in the church. Managers of the gang and the boss’s guests that I don’t recognize.

Just as the boss had advised, I kept my chin up and my gaze straight forward. It wasn’t hard at all, when my eyes rested on my groom.

Hayden looked even more like a prince than always. That didn’t make me feel like I was a princess in any way, though. This normal woman is going to finally marry her devilish prince, was the thought that ran through my head. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Camera flashes flashed multiple times during my walk down the aisle, but nothing mattered to me anymore.

My attention was solelt focused on Hayden and the future that we would share after this.

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel too nervous, and my hands did not tremble. I smiled at Hayden when I finally stood by his side. The person who looked the most nervous at that point was the old priest standing in front of us. The wedding vows went by smoothly just like it had been scripted. I didn’t find the vows to be particularly romantic and it did not truly stir up any sentimental feelings within me.

It was just…standard…

I turned to offer my lips to Hayden for a ceremonial kiss and he took it in a soft and tender kiss. The crown exploded into loud cheer around us. It’s finally done. Finally, the ceremony is over, and we can move on with our lives towards our future. Just when I thought that everything was over and done with, Hayden smiled down at me as his arm around my waist refuse to let me go.

Now this wasn’t part of the script. My eyes widened at him questioningly. Now’s the time that we’re supposed to be done with this part of the main ceremony, so I had no idea what he was doing now.

"Listen…" Hayden whispered close to my ear.