Ch. 221..230

Chapter 221

They started towards the trail out of the city, and Zev bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from groaning. His entire body hurt. As soon as the adrenaline of Aurelia's appearance and threat had passed and he'd relaxed, he started to feel weak. He was carrying both bags on one shoulder to keep his sore side free, but that entire side of his ribs and back burned now.

Sasha hovered, but did a good job of keeping the twins focused on her and her questions, and not drawing their attention to him. But he was beginning to weaken. His knees felt a little shaky as they walked. He needed a drink—had planned to get one from the spring at the center of the city, but he wasn't going back now that they were finally moving towards the village.

He needed help.

Cursing to himself on the terrible timing, he barely caught it when Axe led them a little off the trail, to show Sasha a building that had a wall caving in so she could see the risks of certain spots in the city.

Normally, Zev would have stayed at the ground, guarded the entrance, and allowed them to move together. But he still didn't trust Aurelia with Sasha—and it was a single story structure, open on two sides. So he dropped the bags at the door and followed the others in.

It wasn't a lot discussion, maybe ten minutes, Sasha's eyes flicking to Zev's face more than once. But they'd expect her to be checking with him under the circumstances.

He struggled, wanting to stay far enough away from the twins that they wouldn't sense the heat coming off him, but close enough that he could help Sasha if there was threat.

By the time they turned to leave the building, his head was beginning to spin.

"You two should select the place you want to settle," Sasha said quietly as they moved out. "When we bring everyone back, if you're already established it will be a lot less likely that you'll lose your space. I'll do what I can to keep you wherever you choose—"

"Not the Alpha's home," Zev said through his teeth with a warning look at Aurelia. "You'll have to give that up. I'm sorry."

The female didn't meet his eyes, but Axe shrugged. "We moved out of there months ago. It's actually not that comfortable when there's only two of you."

"Well, just make sure you find the space that does make you comfortable," Sasha said. "I'll tell the males to leave you wherever it is."

Aurelia blinked, then finally met and held Sasha's gaze. "Thank you," she said quietly. "That's… thoughtful."

Sasha gave her a grim smile. "I'm not your enemy, Aurelia," she said. "I promise."

Everyone was still tense, but Zev could feel Aurelia thawing at that. Thankfully, the twins were as eager to be alone as he and Sasha were to leave, so the farewells, though stilted, were quick, the twins sinking into the forest as soon as they got out of the building, before Zev even had the bags back on his shoulder.

As soon as they disappeared, Sasha eyed Zev sharply, but he warned her in her head not to say anything until he told her they were free. Axe was an excellent tracker. He'd likely follow them to make sure they were truly headed back to the village.

So it they walked in silence for ten minutes until the hair on the back of Zev's neck stopped standing up and he heaved a sigh of relief. "I think we're alone now," he said quietly, hoisting the bags on his shoulder, wincing at the pain in his joints.

Sasha stopped walking immediately and held out her hand. "Give me my bag," she demanded, every ounce of her new Alpha authority pressed into those words.

"Sash, I'm—"

"Zev, you look like you're about to topple. Give me my bag!"

He sighed, but did as she said, embarrassed by the relief he felt.

She shook her head and pulled the one waterskin she'd packed out of her bag and handed it to him. "Drink. Right now. The whole thing."

"If I drink all of that now it'll just come right back up," he said, taking it from her. "I need to sip it while we walk."

Sasha's lips thinned. "Fine. Then… keep drinking. You go whatever pace you can stand and I'll follow."

He nodded and started walking again, sighing against the pain in his body, and the weakness of his knees.

Twenty minutes later he stepped over a root in the path they were now following and his head swam suddenly. He wavered sideways, caught himself on the trunk of the tree, then kept walking, but Sasha gasped and pulled him to a stop.

"How much longer will it take us to get to the village?" she asked worriedly, holding his arms.

"At this pace? Probably an hour, hour and a half." They were going to be the longest minutes of his life. He prayed he could sustain even this snail's pace that long. His vision was beginning to tunnel.

"Let's just leave our bags here," Sasha said firmly. "It'll make the walk easier, and maybe a little quicker. I'm sure Yhet can come get our bags for us."

"Sash, I'm—"

"You're not fine and would you please stop pretending so I won't get scared? I'm already scared, Zev. You're getting worse by the minute and you're too big and heavy for me to carry. I'm… you're scaring me already, okay? Please. Put the bag down. I'll leave mine too. And we'll just go as quickly as we can. Together."

He sighed, but knew she was right. Dropping the bag was a relief and it was easier to walk for the next half hour. But his vision continued to flash and flare, the edges darkening. He had to focus to keep his ears on the forest around them and make sure they wouldn't be surprised.

At some point he became aware of breath heaving… then realized it was his. Sasha wasn't talking, just holding his arm, leading him forward.

Then she turned to look up at him, and he looked down at her and he missed a hollow in the trail and when his foot jolted, his knee didn't brace, and he was going down.

 

 

Chapter 222

Sasha realized over two-hundred pounds of muscular male was tumbling for the forest floor just a split second before he whispered her name and his shoulder landed on hers.

Sasha cried out, bracing, trying to catch him, but only succeeding in slowing his progress to the dirt.

He grunted when he landed on his sore side, his breath stopping completely and eyes going wide.

Zev immediately rolled onto all fours, and started to push himself up, but Sasha caught his shoulder. "NO! No, Zev, if you fall again… You need to stay down. I might not catch you. You might get hurt more. Please… please…"

He groaned, but didn't answer her, except to drop his shoulder and roll onto his good side, eyes screwed tightly closed and lips tight and white.

His breathing was tight and shallow, and that worried her even more than the heat rippling off his skin. While he lay there, she tore his fur jacket open, exposing his body to the cold air.

He hissed and began to shiver. "Too cold!"

"We have to bring your temperature down, Zev," she growled, praying she was right. "If we don't the rest won't matter."

He winced and sighed as she laid his fur jacket behind his back, folding the hood and sleeves into something like a pillow, then urging him to shift back.

He grunted, moving like that, but soon he laid alongside the trail on his good side, his eyes closed, skin dry and hot as the desert, and his breathing rapid.

She didn't even think, just dug into his bag for a shirt and scrambled back up the trail to a snowbank under a patch where the trees had dumped snow, then kept it in shadows. Packing as much as she could into the center of the shirt, she tied it around the pile and ran it back to Zev to lay it on the back of his neck and head.

"I'm going to the village. It's about half an hour, right? Up this trail?"

"Sasha, just give me a minute to rest, and I'll go—"

"No, Zev. You need help and I'll be faster this way. Just… are there any turns off this trail, or spots where I need to navigate?"

Zev's brow furrowed, but he shook his head. "There's a few places it will open into clearings. Just keep going straight—and if you get turned around, look for the hooked peak of the mountain. Head straight for that and you'll run into the village."

Sasha took a deep breath, laid the waterskin down in front of him, along with another piece of jerky and some fruit, though she knew he wouldn't eat it.

"Okay, okay. I can do this," she said, her voice shaking. "Please, Zev. Just rest. Please don't… don't do anything stupid. I'll send them back—they can come a lot faster than me. And I'll get Yhet to get the bags, okay?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry, Sash."

"Don't apologize!" She dropped to the dirt in front of him, stroking his face, though he squinted when he opened his eyes to find her, gripping her arm. "An hour, Zev. That's all. Just hold on for an hour, okay?"

He nodded.

I love you, he said into her head.

I love you, too. Please… just rest. Be safe.

He nodded again, then she kissed his hot cheek and darted to her feet and began to run.

"Yhet!" she screamed into the forest, just in case their dear friend was somewhere near.

Don't, Sash, Zev said in her head. It's too risky someone else might hear.

I don't care she sent back, panting with relief when he growled.

She hadn't thought about being able to talk to him when she was distant. She wouldn't stop, she told herself, until she reached the village.

You don't move! She said firmly in his head. I'm going to find help as quickly as I can.

She yelled for Yhet again and resolved that she would every few minutes until she found him, or someone else who could help.

Can you reach anyone else this way? She asked him suddenly.

I'll try, he said. It depends how close they are.

So we'll lose this connection?

Honestly, I don't know, he said, and his voice sounded weaker. But she couldn't tell if it was because she was running away, or because he was fading in his mind. Her heart thumped uncomfortably.

Well, you listen to me, Zev. I love you. And you're not dying. You're sick. I'm going to get help and you're going to be fine. So you don't do anything stupid, okay? And if I disappear from your mind its just because I got a long way away.

I love you, too, he said wearily. Just… when you find them, you have to be confident, okay? Give orders, not suggestions…. They'll expect that. It won't throw them. This isn't time for manners. You can't be asking and polite… You have to tell them what you need and expect them to get it for you.

Okay. Yes. Okay.

And… if anyone questions you, just hold their gaze, no matter what. Don't back down. Ever. Find Kyelle… she'll help…

She continued reassuring him as much as she could while she ran, her breath tearing in and out of her throat, muscles burning, throat aching because she'd left all the water with Zev. But soon he was nodding off to sleep, telling her he'd be fine.

Then he didn't talk anymore.

Sasha sobbed and pushed harder, breaking through branches of the trees that had overgrown the path and screaming Yhet's name.

Where was he?

Where were all of them? Why weren't any of them on the trail?

Please, she prayed, tears in her eyes that she blinked away. She couldn't afford to have her vision blurred. If she tripped and hurt herself, Zev would be in real danger. Please keep him safe, she prayed. Show him that you do care about him. He thinks you don't. Please!

She choked out another sob, her throat on fire. But she forced herself to keep running.

Please.

Chapter 223

He must have fallen asleep. He'd been dreaming that Sasha was running, crying, running away from him, but trying to help him. It made no sense.

But then he tried to roll over, to tell her about the dream, and his entire body lit up in fire and pain.

"Stupid fucking puppy… convinced he's a big dog." The low, muttered voice was familiar, but jolted him awake properly, and he tried to sit up, but his body wouldn't let him.

Zev grunted and caught himself, shivering and alight with pain.

When he blinked a few times, only able to keep his eyes open in a squint because the light hurt them, it was to find Skhal kneeling over him, shaking his head.

"Can you see me?" the older wolf asked quietly.

"Yes. I have a fever. I'm not blind."

"Yet," Skhal said ominously.

Zev opened his eyes again, wincing at the pain and sighed. "You have to keep Sasha safe. She's running. Really slowly."

Skhal snorted. "She's crashing through the forest like an angry boar, screaming for Yhet. If he isn't close, the entire village will find her pretty soon."

"You didn't meet her? Tell her you were here?"

"I came from behind you. I thought you'd be coming back later in the day. I was hunting, but caught your scent—and could smell that you were sick. What the fuck were you thinking, Zev? Staying away when you had an infection?"

"I didn't realize until yesterday. And I thought… I thought I'd be fine. But we got delayed."

Skhal growled and dug into a foraging pouch at his belt. "Chew on this," he said, holding out a couple dark green leaves.

Zev recoiled. "I can't eat… even the idea—"

"Don't eat. Chew. Let the nectar work through your mouth. You'll swallow enough to help. It'll bring the fever down until they get a healer here."

Zev nodded and opened his mouth, let Skhal put the leaves on his tongue.

"Now don't choke or do anything else stupid. I'm going to beat her back to the village and get the healers. She's going to get herself killed running like that. She sounds like panicked prey."

Zev huffed. "I'll teach her."

"You better. We can't have an Alpha that our enemies can hear coming from a mile."

He sighed as Skhal straightened. "Thank you, friend," he said quietly. "I'm grateful."

"You're welcome. Just remember this next time I tell you you're being stupid. Because it means you are."

Zev nodded and smiled, chewing the leaves carefully as Skhal stepped back, shifted, and darted silently down the trail.

*****

~ SASHA ~

She didn't know how long she'd been running—she thought it was only fifteen minutes or so—when the trail wove around a large tree and as she rounded its trunk, she found a man standing there, staring.

Sasha slid to a halt, blinking and panting. She didn't recognize this one, hadn't met him before. But the male, his eyes wide, scanned her face, then dropped his chin and eyes to the dirt at his feet and nodded a bow.

Sasha wasn't sure what the greeting was from an Alpha to an unknown male, but Zev's instructions echoed in her head and as she leaned on her elbows, her entire body heaving with her breath as she shoved the words out.

"Zev is… infection… he's back on the trail… need the healers… NOW!"

The male's eyes went wide, then he nodded once and turned back towards the village, leaping into an Ibex, like Dunken except his horns were half the length, and galloped back down the trail.

Sasha hoped he was going to notify the healers. But realized she had to keep running. She couldn't risk.

"YHET!" she screamed as loud as she able, then swallowed, desperate to wet her throat, before pushing herself back into a run. "Yhet, where are you?!"

Just a handful of minutes later she saw shadows moving further up the trail, and soon they materialized into several bodies—including a owl, flying over the backs of the others. Then, just as she could make them out they all shifted back into their human forms—most with faces she didn't recognize, but Skhal and Kyelle jogging on either side of those at the front.

Sasha almost cried with relief, but reminded herself that she had to be Alpha. She stumbled to a halt in the middle of the trail and let them come to her as she caught her breath again.

"Zev!" she gasped, "he's—"

"We know," Kyelle said quickly. "Skhal found him and came in his wolf, running as the crow flies. You've done well to get this far, Sasha-don. You can rest now."

She waved the woman off. "Don't worry about me. Get to Zev. Now. He's got an infection and he's going down fast. His fever is… really bad."

They all bowed their heads, then started past her on the trail, which was when she noticed Lhars directly behind Kyelle, his face solemn. He nodded to her as he passed, but Kyelle reached the trail behind her and shifted again, Sasha caught his elbow.

His lips peeled back as if he would growl, but he caught himself and turned to face her, shifting so the followers had room to pass on the trail, his eyes bright and jaw tight. "Yes… Sasha-don?" he added as an afterthought.

She thought of what Zev would do, and gave him a warning look, never breaking the eye-contact. "Aware of the others still shuffling past before they shifted, one by one, to run down the trail, she kept her voice calm and determined. "Do you want the humans out of Thana? For real?"

Lhars' throat bobbed, and he nodded once, the edge going out of his gaze. "Yes. What do you need?"

"I need you to bring together the Alphas… or, or whatever council that comes together to lead the clans."

"I can make that happen. How quickly do you need them?"

"How quickly will Zev heal from a serious infection?"

Lhars' brows pinched over his forehead. "If it's bad, he'll need two days to be functional. Another one or two before he's not weary anymore."

Sasha nodded, she prayed Lhars wasn't exaggerating. Zev had assured her he would heal the wounds while they were gone—just four days. It seemed like this had t be worse. But he'd have help too…

"Okay, set it for three days from now. In the meantime, can you get the Wolf Council together for me tonight? I have an idea and I need their input to refine it."

Lhars' eyebrows shot up. "Yes. Do you want to meet them at the cave again?"

Sasha blinked. She hadn't thought of that. "I'm not sure… I want to be close to Zev. Is there somewhere more central we can meet privately?"

Lhars nodded. "Yes. I'll sort it out. After the evening meal?"

"Sure."

He nodded once and turned as if he would leave, then hesitated. Looking back up the trail, over her shoulder, he frowned. Then met her eyes again.

"My brother is a good male," he said, as if the words hurt him to say. "And I would have followed him. But… but I see there might have been unique challenges to having him in control again. Hearts that might have struggled to trust, you understand?"

Sasha nodded. Yes, she did.

Lhars raked a hand through his hair. "Perhaps… perhaps you being here is a provision we didn't foresee, but I don't question it." Sasha raised a skeptical eyebrow at that, but Lhars just grinned. "Well, no more than I would for anyone who wasn't me," he said with a dry chuckle.

Sasha wasn't sure how to respond to that, but in the end she didn't have to.. Lhars ducked his chin once, muttering, "Sasha-don," then shifted into his wolf between one stride and the next, and took off down the trail towards the village.

 

Chapter 224

Yhet found her on the trail before she reached the village, his big, broad face wide with concern.

"Sasha-don, what happened?"

He looked so worried, Sasha almost cried in relief that she wasn't the only one who was scared. But she swallowed it back.

"His wound opened up and it's gotten infected."

"Oh no! How did he do that!"

Sasha's cheeks colored at the memory and she flapped a hand. "It's not important. But Yhet, I need to thank you. Thank you so much! Your home… it's beautiful!"

He dropped his shaggy head then, nodding. She couldn't tell if he was smiling or grimacing. "You're welcome, Sasha."

"It was such a haven, Yhet. I'm… I'm sorry that you can't enjoy it anymore. It's truly beautiful and it made our time very special."

Yhet lifted his head and looked around them on all sides before turning back to her and lower his voice so it sounded like a whispering bear. "Did the mating go smoothly? I know it can be a little… frantic to begin with. But the bond has clearly taken. You stink of him! So that's good!"

Sasha blinked and spluttered a laugh before clapping a hand over her mouth.

Zev was seriously ill. She was exhausted. There was a homicidal twin in the city, and she wasn't going to have Zev's supporting presence as she returned to this people who thought she was leading them… And Yhet wanted to know if the mating went well.

"It went… very smoothly," she said, blinking too much because she struggled to hold his eyes.

"That's good news," he said, beaming, patting her hair so hard she stumbled forward. "I pray you'll have offspring very soon!"

"I… I mean that won't… thank you, Yhet, but—"

"It's okay!" he whispered hoarsely. "There's no one else here. We're in private. You don't have to be careful with your words."

She thanked him and, afraid that he might ask more questions, asked him if he would run to get their bags.

"The others will bring them," he said confidently, turning to walk with her on the trail. "And I wanted to speak to you, so perhaps this is a good time?"

"Oh?" she asked nervously.

"Yes, I… I owe you my submission," he said sadly, his great shoulders slumping suddenly.

Sasha frowned. "Whatever for?"

"I didn't do my job. When Xar came for you. I was taken so off guard. I wasn't prepared. I watched the crowds in case someone working with him came for you. By the time I'd realized, he already had you in his hands. I failed you, Sasha. I'm very sorry."

Sasha opened her mouth and closed it again. "I… it's okay, Yhet."

"No, it's not. And Zev will have reason to stand over me. I want to assure you, I will not challenge him when he does."

"Zev isn't going to… what? Stand over you? What's that?"

"It's a form of discipline," Yhet said. "Something you'll need to become familiar with now if you're Alpha, Sasha-don," he said earnestly. "When we fail someone higher in the hierarchy, we have to acknowledge it, publicly."

Sasha frowned. "Publicly? Why?"

"So that others know the higher ranks aren't weak," Yhet said, ushering her past a bristling thorn bush that was growing over the trail. "If Zev doesn't address it, the others will think it's okay to step around his instructions. We can't let that happen. I just want you to know not to worry. When he steps up, I will submit. Regardless of the cost."

"I… okay… well, I trust you, Yhet. But I want you to know I'm not upset, okay? I'm grateful to you. I wouldn't have gotten through those days without you. I'll ask Zev not to be too hard on you."

"Oh, no, don't do that!" he rushed, shaking his head vigorously. "He can't be easy on me, that will cause problems also."

Sasha gave up. She didn't understand this hierarchy. How was she ever going to lead these people? But the talk with the twins had given her an idea, and perhaps that was the answer.

Yhet kept pace with her as she walked—very slowly—back to the village. It was embarrassing out how of shape she was. Twenty minutes running and she was drenched in sweat, her throat parched, and her body weary.

At one point Yhet offered to carry her the rest of the way to the village. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Reassuring him, she forced herself to pick up her head and push her shoulders back. As the trail widened and the gaps between the trees became larger and longer, she knew they would meet more and more people. She needed to appear in control and expecting… what? Control?

Sasha groaned to herself and Yhet looked at her with concern, but she just waved him off, grateful that they were almost home.

Except, of course, she couldn't go home. Yhet led her to the healers hut—a building that was large by village standards, though Yhet couldn't fit through the door. There a bed was being prepared and several males hurried around picking out bottle and bandages, setting up a table at the foot of the bed.

They all submitted to her when she walked in, dropping their heads and crossing an arm over their chests in salute. But she told them to continue as they had been, and they did.

She was given a chair and assured Zev would be there soon. Then they went about their business. Then Lhars arrived, scanning the room and seeing the empty bed with her in a chair next to it, and he took a deep breath.

"The wolves will meet you this evening," he said quietly, coming to stand at her shoulder, watching the healers as they hurried around the room. "And the Alphas have been informed that there will be a strategy meeting on the third day."

"Thank you," Sasha said, sighing. Now that some of her adrenaline had worn off, she was exhausted. Struggling even to sit up straight.

Lhars watched everything with sharp eyes, posting himself next to her, hands at his sides, arms tense.

It took her a moment to realize what he was doing. But then he glared at a new healer who stepped into the building and Sasha shook her head.

"You can be here—I'd be grateful if you'd stay to see Zev and help me. But you're here as his brother, as his second, not as a sentry."

"I am here as Zev's brother," he said darkly. "As a brother of the clan. You're my sister now, Sasha. And any one of the Chimera could defeat you. If I let one of them harm you, Zev would have my throat."

"These are healers, they're here to help! I can't look so uncertain of my place that I need guarding here. You heard me, Lhars. Back down. Take a seat. Give me advice. But don't do this."

Their eyes met and locked. Lhars tensed, but he didn't argue. Instead he nodded once, then looked behind her, found another chair and pulled it over so he could sit next to her.

And together, they waited.

 

Chapter 225

Fucking Skhal tricked him. The leaves his advisor had given him to chew didn't just lower fever, they made him sleep. By the time he realized what was happening, it was too late. He spat the leaves out, but could feel himself being sucked under the blanket of sleep.

What the fuck had the male been thinking? Zev needed to be aware and awake, able to help Sasha after he got to the village and they treated his wound.

He railed against the deceit and tried to roll over, to keep himself awake. But the pain was a hot poker in his side and when he shifted back onto his side to breathe it out, everything faded…

The pain was intense, but even though he was aware of it, he was also separated from it. Deep the dark of sleep he fluttered in and out, aware of voices, hands moving his body, curses, and that pain. He wanted to ask whether Sasha was safe, why she wasn't there. But he couldn't make his lips move. And the pain… the pain threatened if he came too close to the surface.

Then the pain took on a rhythm, his body rolling, jolted, hissed voices…

… A stabbing poker, white-hot from the Smith's fire dug under his ribs and he screamed.

He could smell his mate and tried to warn her—someone was trying to kill him! But then the pain eased and he heard her voice… she was close. But so was his brother, and Zev growled a warning. Too many males. Too many close to her…

…The world was quiet and still dark. His side still burned hot enough that he wanted to retreat from it. But he couldn't move.

Then a cool hand brushed his brow and soft lips touched his cheek.

Sasha.

He tried to reach for her, but his limbs refused to move. He inhaled deeply, taking her scent. Not so many bodies nearby now, but that didn't mean she was safe. He needed to wake.

Then her fingers slid into his palm and she whispered his name.

Sleep, she said. Just sleep.

And even though he didn't want to—fought to swim to the surface despite the pain—he was pulled down again.

Down.

Down.

Down…

*****

~ SASHA ~

It had been terrifying to see them carry him in unconscious. But Kyelle had immediately reassured her that Skhal had given him something to make him sleep so they could transport him without pain.

Then, while he still slept, healers had treated the wound—an abscess under the skin. The healers said it happened at times that the Chimera's superior healing locked in germs. They'd had to cut him open again to clear it, and he'd fought, growling and snarling, his entire body rigid.

It had taken five males to keep him on the bed.

Sasha had wept.

But he'd rested so much better when they were done. And now… it was past evening. The village was quiet, only the pathlights on. One healer in a chair next to the fireplace behind her, another in the next room, sleeping. The two would take turns, they said, just to make sure there was always someone there could who respond quickly.

But he would be well, they insisted. He'd heal now, and quickly.

Sasha hoped so.

Sasha sat in a chair next to Zev's bed, bent over him. Slumped on him, if she was honest with herself. She'd meant to just rest, to be close when he stirred—he kept squirming, his voice rough and angry, but barely more than a whisper. She wanted to calm him.

She'd placed her hand in his, her cheek on his shoulder and whispered to him to rest, that things would get better now.

But she'd barely had time to think about the fact that she hadn't shown up for the meeting with the wolves before she'd drifted off herself, his hand still in hers.

She woke to the healer putting a blanket over her shoulders. She startled and sat up quickly, sucking in a breath, opening her mouth to apologize. But Zev's voice echoed in her head.

Never apologize for being Alpha. They'll see it as weakness.

So she swallowed those words and put a hand to Zev's forehead instead.

"He's doing well. The fever is almost gone now that we've removed the infection."

Sasha blanched, her relief that Zev was improving already tempered by the shuddering memory of that swollen, putrid wound. That had been… ugly.

"That's a relief," she whispered. "Thank you for your help."

The healer shrugged. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Sasha blinked. What time was it? "I… I need to get a message to Lhars. Where is he?" she asked, still bleary-eyed, completely unaware if it was ten or two, only that the night was dark black beyond the windows outside.

"He's right outside," the healer said. "Guarding the door to keep Zev safe."

Sasha looked at the man sharply. Was Lhars pretending to protect Zev? Would he make her appear weak?

"Would you like me to get him?" the healer asked carefully.

Sasha frowned. Did she want to see Lhars? She definitely wanted to make sure he wasn't sabotaging her. "No, no, it's fine," she said carefully.

Then, as the healer retreated to his chair next to the fire, she looked down at Zev. He was sleeping peacefully, his face relaxed, his finger slack in hers.

Sliding her hand out of his, she stood and watched. Zev didn't move. His chest rising and falling. When she took one step back, he still didn't stir. She nodded. He would be fine. He wouldn't even know she was gone. And she'd only be right outside the door.

She turned to the healer. "I'm going to talk to Lhars. If he wakes, get me immediately."

The healer ducked his chin once, eyes down in submission.

Sasha still felt uncomfortable whenever they did that, but she couldn't deny that she was getting a lot of things done by not having to argue about them.

Then, pulling the blanket up around her neck and wrapping it around her arms like a shawl, she walked quickly to the door and opened it to find Lhars seated on the steps outside, his head in his hands.

He looked up as she walked out, his eyes dark and tormented.

 

Chapter 226

Sasha closed the door softly behind her and turned to walk over to the steps and stand next to where Lhars sat, pulling the blanket around herself.

She didn't know how he sat out here in his furs without freezing, but he didn't seem concerned.

"What are you doing?" she asked calmly.

Lhars looked at her then away. "Guarding my brother while he's weak."

"Your brother, or me?"

Lhars snorted. "You made your position clear. But Zev is a target, as the wolf Alpha. I won't allow him to be harmed. If we have anyone who's still working with the humans, or who has some crazy idea to avenge Xar in some way… I won't allow it."

"So, you do care about Zev?" she asked bluntly.

Lhars tipped his head and looked at her thoughtfully, and his face, his eyes, his expression was so similar to Zev's for a moment Sasha's heart squeezed with love for her mate. She looked over her shoulder, back towards the building, but she couldn't go to him. Not yet.

"I care about what Zev represents to our people," Lhars said carefully. "And… I don't want to see him dead."

"He cares about you, too, Lhars. He's just… he struggles to trust."

Lhars shook his head. "My brother thinks he's the only male who's grown up in the past few years."

Sasha didn't know if that was true, but she also thought it wasn't her argument to have. So she stepped down onto the top stair and sat a couple feet from Lhars, hunched over her knees and frowned out at the night.

The moon was out, the sky clear tonight after the storm, which was why it was so cold, Sasha realized.

She hadn't spent much time on this side of the village. There was a wide open space in front of her, but there was a cold cookfire in the middle of the clearing, and the treeline was peppered with other, smaller buildings.

Moonlight turned the ground silver-gray, with the deepest black shadows under even the tiniest rock.

Sasha wished she could have enjoyed it with Zev. She swallowed the pinch in her throat. He was going to be fine in a couple days. They all said so.

"Is there something I can help you with?" Lhars asked quietly.

Sasha sighed. "I missed the meeting I called with the Wolf Council. How much trouble will that cause?"

Lhars snorted. "It wouldn't have been a problem regardless. Alphas often get torn away from responsibilities in emergencies. But I warned them. I knew you wouldn't want to leave him when he was so vulnerable. They're planning on seeing you tomorrow evening instead."

"Well… thank you," Sasha said, a little stunned. "That was very thoughtful."

Lhars shrugged. "Honestly, I'm used to cleaning up Xar's messes. You're going to be a piece of cake."

Sasha took a deep breath. "Yes, about that… I believe you're someone who will tell me what you really think. Not sugar-coat it. Am I right?"

"Yes."

She waited for the joke, but Lhars just stared at her.

Well then.

She swallowed. "I have a vision for… for the future. But it would be different, I think, than what the Chimera are accustomed to, and if I present this I think… I think Zev won't be honest with me. He'll either tell it's great because he believes in me, or he'll tell me it's terrible because it puts me in danger. I need to know how a… a normal Chimera, someone who didn't know me, would feel."

Lhars nodded. "I can do that."

"Good. So… I'm thinking when I speak to the Council and to the Alphas, I'd like to propose a... dual Alpha."

Lhars frowned. "A what?"

"I think I can help with the humans," Sasha said carefully. "I can't quite see exactly how to begin yet, but I know I can help. Because I can move around both worlds freely. I don't have to hide from humans—or Chimera. And I understand their technology, how they think. How it differs from… here. I think I might be able to see ways forward the Chimera might not come up with."

Lhars nodded for her to continue.

"I'm not Chimera, though. I'm not strong enough to take a physical challenge—and that leaves the hierarchy vulnerable if I'm Alpha. Plus, it's entirely possible that I will offend people by accident. Sometimes the way I think or the things I do, they're different."

Lhars shrugged. "None of us are the same."

"I mean in ways that could create problems, though," she said. "What if… how would I go about getting Zev appointed as Male Alpha, and keep myself as Female Alpha? We could rule together—I would handle things with the humans, and he could handle everything with you all."

Lhars brows rose. Sasha was grateful that he didn't immediately respond, but turned to look out over the clearing and consider what she'd said.

"That's definitely something new," Lhars said. "Though I suspect the wolves, at least, wouldn't struggle too much with it. Our ancestors share the authority. But the others? The tigers? The goats? They're all accustomed to a lonely throne."

"Really, Zev would be it," Sasha said quietly. "But I know he won't let me just give him the Alpha. He's afraid more change is only to make everything more fragile—what do you think? About this change, I mean? Will it make us as a people stronger or weaker?"

Lhars turned his head quickly, examining her.

"What?" Sasha asked, taken off guard.

"You said, 'us.'"

Sasha shrugged. "Yes."

"You see yourself as Chimera?"

Sasha laughed. "I'm no Chimera. But I am here. I want… I want the Chimera to win. I'm Zev's mate. And he's mine. This is… I want this to be my home."

Lhars hesitated a moment, then one side of his mouth curled up into a smile. "You will do well, Sasha-don," he said quietly, looking back out on the clearing. "You and Zev will do well."

She didn't miss the ring of sadness in his tone.

And she thought she knew where it came from, too.

"Thank you," she said carefully. Then with a deep breath, "You know, if anyone had told me a month ago that today I'd be here, with Zev, mated and connected… I would have laughed in their faces."

Lhars shrugged. "I'm happy for you."

"No, Lhars, look at me."

He turned, warily. Sasha tried to just look compassionate. She'd hated it when she was heart-broken and people spoke to her like she was a child.

"What I'm saying is… don't give up hope."

He waited a beat too long before asking, "I don't know what you mean."

Sasha had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Bloody men and their egos.

"I mean, Kyelle," she said softly.

Lhars tensed, but she plowed on.

"Don't give up ho—"

"Don't," he spat in a dead, cold voice. "Just… don't."

Sasha shut her mouth and waited, thinking, trying to anticipate what would help him. But Lhars' knee began to jiggle, then he shoved to his feet.

"You don't have to leave, Lhars. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't push you. I didn't mean to make you leave. I'm grateful that you're here for him."

Then Lhars whirled, and Sasha stiffened.

Even in the moonlight she could see the rage burning in his eyes.

 

Chapter 227

"I am not here for him," Lhars spat, stabbing a finger back towards the building where Zev lay sleeping. "I am here for the people who believe in him and need him to be strong and… and need a leader that won't walk them into the den of the lion!"

Sasha swallowed hard. "Well, regardless, I'm thankful—"

"Oh, stop with your fucking human manners and etiquette. You're Alpha. Your mate is Alpha of the wolves. You hold what opinions you hold. Stop inviting admiration with your words, earn it with your actions!"

Sasha bristled. "Why do you think I'm even talking to you about all of this? Because I want to make sure I'm measuring HOW to do this that's best for everyone!"

"Then talk to your mate! No one is admired more than my brother," Lhars sneered bitterly. "I'm only the second, remember?"

"Second to an insane tiger who was leading these people straight into that lion's den you were talking about! You can't expect him to forget that!"

Lhars stalked up to her. Sasha stood on the top step so even though he was on the dirt below, they were eye to eye. The rage burning in him, fists at his sides, Sasha had a flash of fear, realizing he could kill her with a blow.

But he stopped at the base of the stair, eyes narrowed, and didn't reach for her. His voice was low, snarling, but coldly controlled.

"No matter what my brother has decided is true about me, the reality is that I kept this people together and alive while our Alpha slowly lost his mind, and the humans played games with our lives. Zev can sneer at me all he wishes, but when I stand before the Creator, I know what was in my heart and what I achieved when he wasn't even fucking here."

Sasha took a deep breath. "I know that can't have been easy—"

"Stop fucking submitting, Sasha!" Lhars snarled. "Fight for what you know! Own it! If you are wrong, admit that you're wrong and change it. But cease with this endless… needling for approval!"

Sasha's head snapped back like she'd been slapped. "Needling… for approval?"

"Yes," he snapped. "I may not admire my brother as others do, but one thing I will always give him, he has owned his choices and his positions since he was a cub. He is a true Alpha in that way—he does not pretend to be cowed, or seek approval. He places the truth before others as he sees it and stands by his word. You could learn something from him. Admiration is worthless if it is founded in manipulation."

"Manipulation? Because I'm being polite? Thoughtful?"

"No! Because you have something to say and a plan to determine, and instead you speak in ways that are designed to make me offer to agree with you, rather than presenting your plan and pursuing it, and asking me to come with you—or the others."

"I… I did not…"

"You do not need my opinion, Sasha. You do not need my approval. You need me on your side, to lead in your favor. I will do that if your intentions are right, and your plan is good. I will follow my fucking brother if it gets us free of the humans. But I will not follow you because I LIKE you."

"Is that right?"

"Yes, it is."

"You think I should own my opinions and not care what you think?"

"Yes."

"Great," Sasha said, leaning closer so they were almost nose to nose. "Then stop resenting Zev because Kyelle is in love with him. Either she'll get over it and finally value your love for her, or she won't. But either way, it's not Zev's fault. You're being petty and childish. You KNOW he didn't encourage her feelings. You feel inadequate next to him because YOU care about what others think, so you can think twice about criticizing me for it."

Lhars blinked. Then blinked again. A shudder rocked through him and his eyes flared with the heat of that anger. But Sasha was impressed by his self-control.

He straightened, slowly folding his arms, and regarding her with narrowed eyes.

Sasha wanted to hide her head and apologize—it was true, but harsh, and harshly said. She licked her lips, but Zev's words—and Lhars'—echoed in her head. Instead she raised her chin and let him see in her eyes that she dared him to contradict her.

"What my Alpha says might have merit," he seethed. "I'll give that some thought."

"Good!" Sasha said, a little too forcefully because she'd expected him to refute her, and there she was, braced for a fight that wasn't coming.

She didn't know what to say after that. There was an awkward pause where neither of them spoke, then Sasha cleared her throat and tried to relax, rocking back on her heels and watching Lhars as his jaw twitched, but he didn't storm away.

"You're right about one thing," she conceded. "Zev doesn't trust you to have grown. At least, not as much as he should. I'll encourage him to… reevaluate."

Lhars' lips pressed thin. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"You're wrong about why I asked you, though. I really can see that you're honest, and I knew you wouldn't tell me what I wanted to hear. So… I meant it when I said I needed to hear your thoughts about my proposal. About how to do it. Because… Zev will always swing to extremes with me. He means well, but he doesn't see me clearly. He's too…"

She had been about to say "in love," but under the circumstances that felt like a blow she didn't mean to land. So she trailed off, frowning.

"A Chimera never sees their mate clearly," Lhars growled, turning his head away finally. Sasha sighed with relief being out from under his eyes. "The bond… from what I understand it… softens the heart and makes the eyes smile."

"That is… a wonderful way to put it," Sasha said, slightly stunned. Then it dawned on her. "Oh… you're… you have the bond with Kyelle?" she asked, hushed. "Is that possible? That she wouldn't feel it, I mean?"

Lhars gave a tiny growl and turned away, shaking his head. "Not every story is so… simple as yours and Zev's," he said.

Sasha gaped.

 

Chapter 228

Sasha snorted. "Simple? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I meant your love is simple, Sasha. You two love each other, admit it, and live it. That is… something to be envied. It doesn't happen for all of us that way—even with the bond."

"But… the bond… I thought that was like God putting you together or something? How can she have it with you and want him instead?"

"Because the Chimeran bond is… not simple. Some are born with it, others develop it over time. In either case it has to be accepted," Lhars said through his teeth, looking away to the trees. "I don't wish to discuss it further."

"And you say I'm not being up front with my words."

Lhars glared. "I'm being very upfront. But if you are unclear, let me state it for you: I do not wish to talk about this. At all."

Sasha sighed and pulled the blanket tighter around her. She was torn about Lhars, convinced that he was a good man and probably did deserve more recognition from Zev. But he clearly wasn't flawless, and hadn't been in the past. She couldn't step between the brothers when she didn't know the whole story.

She would talk to Zev, though. Get him to take a second look at Lhars. And maybe stop… needling him.

Sasha snorted, even though the thought stung.

Culture shock was a bitch.

"Okay… does that mean you won't talk about my other ideas or questions, or you just don't want to talk about this?"

Lhars sighed, his breath making a puff in the cold night. "If I can help the Alpha, I will, of course," he said through his teeth. "I just want to avoid… this subject."

"Fair enough, Sasha said. "So, to put it plainly like you've asked me to, I believe the Clans are better served if they have both Zev and I in leadership—in different roles. And I understand that that's not how things are done here. So… Zev worries that too many changes too fast will create more problems than they'll solve. It's why he doesn't want me to just give him the Alpha role. He thinks… I don't know what he thinks.

"I think we're better off if he's in charge, but I've got the chance to do something… about the humans."

Lhars stared at the ground near their feet and chewed it over. "I see the idea and applaud it in concept," he said finally. "And I think in many ways having a Pair as Alpha could give more stability—especially if one or the other does have to travel. The question is whether the Alphas will accept it. In order for one of them to take the throne, would they have to beat both of you?"

"They'd hardly have trouble getting past me," Sasha said dryly.

"Xar did."

The words hit her in the solar plexus, stealing her breath as an image of Xar, his eyes turning dead, glazing over as he slumped—

Sasha turned her head away from the image. "That's a good note," she said firmly. "I'll think on how to address that. Can you think of any other issues the people might raise?"

"Only that you'll need to establish how it works—if the two of you do not agree, who do the people listen to? How would you establish Zev?"

"I don't see it as us having to agree. I see it as us haven't different areas of responsibility."

Lhars scratched the back of his neck. "The idea has merit," he said carefully.

"But?"

"But… I'm just not sure how you'd do it—bring him alongside you without appearing as if he has defeated you and simply taken Alpha. That needs more thought."

Sasha nodded. He was right.

But at least he hadn't laughed at her. Perhaps there was hope for this idea after all.

They discussed it for a long time, but in the end, there were no real answers, only speculation. And Sasha knew she needed to step carefully and not rush this. Even Lhars thought there needed to be time for the Thana males to understand her and how the hierarchy would now work with Xar.

Sasha sighed, but understood.

By the end, they were both sitting on the steps again, just a few inches between them. When they went quiet, Sasha yawned.

"You should try to sleep. He will need you tomorrow," Lhars said. She didn't detect the bitterness in him.

"I'm not sleepy, just… exhausted."

"You'll be even more so tomorrow."

She knew he was right, but she felt… afraid to go to sleep. Afraid of what might happen while she was unaware. She looked back towards the building, then sighed again. "You're right."

Lhars blinked. "That's… not a statement I hear often."

Sasha snorted. "Welcome to my world."

Lhars smiled then, a slow, easy grin, and Sasha was struck again by how similar the brothers looked. And she wondered how much like Zev Lhars might have been without carrying such resentment.

She almost reached for him, just to comfort him as she would anyone else she knew was hurting. But she hesitated.

Then she remembered what he'd said about owning herself.

She snorted again.

"What's funny?" Lhars asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Then she turned to him and twisted a smile. "I was just thinking that you want me to be up front and own the way I think, but there are certain things that you wouldn't want, if I were to do that."

Lhars turned his chin slightly. "Give me an example."

Chuckling to herself, Sasha stood up, and beckoned for Lhars to do the same thing. When he did, she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him.

Lhars went stiff under her embrace, but she just tightened her hold and leaned her temple against his chest.

"I'm glad you're here, Lhars. I'm glad that the Clans had you when Zev was gone, and I'm glad that you weren't too proud to stick around now that he's back. I'm glad that I can trust you to be honest with me even when it's hard. And I feel for you. I hope you can be happy."

Then she let him go and stood back.

Lhars stared at her, his face blank, but eyes wide.

"Good night," Sasha said, then turned and went back inside.

 

Chapter 229

Zev was aware of the pain first. He tried to roll into the warm scent of Sasha at his shoulder, but his body gripped him and he had to lay still and breathe for a moment.

He settled for turning his head.

Her dark hair was scattered across his shoulder and chest, a sticky patch on his shoulder under her cheek. Her cheeks were pink, but the rest of her looked a little pale.

Zev winced when he realized she was seated in a chair at the side of his bed, leaning onto him, her hand in his. Her back was going to regret that when she woke up.

He sighed, testing the pain in his side.

It was bad, but not as hot as the day before. He felt weak, but as if he was coming more alive, not less.

Healing. Thank God.

His bad side ached when he didn't move, but was only sharp when he tried to shift his weight.

Sasha sucked in and sat up, her hair falling over her face as she blinked, bleary-eyed, then rubbed her mouth.

"Gross," she whispered, her voice husky with lack of sleep. "Zev! You're awake!"

He smiled and reached for her with his good arm. "Good morning. You should have gone home and slept. You're going to be tired today."

"Oh, Zev. You're okay. Thank God. Thank you, God!" She reached for his face and leaned forward to kiss him, her shoulders slumping with relief. "You scared me so bad," she said, her voice tight with unshed tears.

"Hey, hey, I'm fine. I'll—"

"You are not fine, Zev-dan," a voice said from the doorway next to his bed. They both turned to find the young healer who had treated him at the Ritual, now looking down at him sternly. "You will heal, but you should have come back to us two days ago. You took a great risk."

Zev grimaced. "I honestly didn't think it was going to be as bad as it was."

The healer shook his head. "I'm glad that you're back, and grateful for Sasha-don. But you must care for yourself first, to lead. If you fall, your Clan will be thrown into chaos."

"I know, I know."

As the healer circled the narrow bed to check his side, Sasha stared at him, half-angry, half-pleading.

"I'll be fine," he murmured. "I'm sorry I scared you."

She clicked her tongue, but just watched the healer as he raised Zev's arm—an exercise that hurt far worse that Zev wanted to admit—then peeled back the bandage to check the wound.

The healer worked in quick, efficient movements, asking Sasha to hold the bandage back while he took some powders from the table next to the bed and blew them onto the wound.

Even that tiny pressure—the male's breath, the pattering of the herbs—sent jolts through Zev's side. But by the time the healer had replaced the bandage and was pouring something into a small cup, Zev could breathe again.

"You will stay here today and tonight—only standing to relieve yourself. Tomorrow, if your pain is manageable, you may go home. But no shifting. And no work. If there are meetings to be had, you will have them come to you. We'll replace your dressing and powders daily. But you do not return to shifting and running until you're cleared by one of us," he said with quiet authority.

Zev rolled his eyes, but when he caught Sasha's stern look, he nodded. "Yes, yes. Of course," he said, taking her hand.

She really did look afraid.

When the healer left them alone, Zev turned back to her, squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry I scared you," he said again. "I… misjudged."

She nodded. "You can't do that again, Zev. Seriously. It was… it was terrifying. I can't do this without you."

She wouldn't do anything without him, he thought grimly. But that thought just made his stomach sick, and one of the helpers was bringing bowls of thick gruel for them both. Sasha helped him sit up, which made him want to pass out. But once he was propped on pillows, Zev found the arm on his sore side didn't want to move. He used it only to keep the bowl in his lap, eating quickly with the other, surprised by how weak he felt.

The infection must have been worse than he thought.

But he got through the meal, then laid flat again, with some relief, holding Sasha's hand as she stroked the hair back off his forehead.

"I'm fine, Sash. Seriously. You don't need to worry. This will heal."

"I know," she said quietly. "They keep saying that. But they also keep saying that you were in real danger. That if they hadn't gotten you here when they did, it could have killed you. Zev… why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't realize how bad it was," he said. "I didn't even suspect until the day before, and I thought I'd get home, take some herbs and be done. It… it got worse quickly."

Sasha sucked in a breath and sat back, but didn't loose his hand. "You know, when I was struggling—really struggling—with you being gone, I went and talked to a woman for a while who was a specialist… and she told me that my tendency to ignore my own needs was a form of self-destruction. That it revealed how I really thought of myself."

Zev frowned. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying, I need you to take as good a care of yourself as you do of me," she said simply. "I have big plans for us, Zev. And I can't do them without you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You might not plan to, but if you don't take care of yourself, if you don't value your own wellbeing… it won't matter what you give to help me, Zev. Nick, the team, they're going to take advantage of that with you. They already have. We have to be strong."

"I'm not giving in anything to them, ever again," he growled. "You need to believe me on that Sash."

"I know you wouldn't on purpose. But… Zev, I had a lot of time last night to think and try and figure out this whole picture. We can't get the females back without dealing with the Team—and that means Nick, too, right? It's obvious he knows you really well and knows how to motivate you. He'll use me against you, Zev. He already has. And I don't know about you, but now that we're… connected this way, I feel more frantic about keeping you close, not less."

She reached a hand back to the back of her neck, and her cheeks flushed.

Zev smiled and said in her head, I love seeing you blush for me. Everywhere.

Sasha's cheeks went beet red, but the look she gave him was a caution.

Then get better, she sent firmly. I'm not doing anything with you until they tell me that it's safe for you to… move.

The color in her cheeks deepened and Zev chuckled.

Then I'll will my body to heal even faster, he sent, making sure his voice was low and husky in her head. Because I need you.

She leaned forward and kissed him and Zev hummed into her mouth, cupping her face with his good hand.

But his nose twitched and he went still as she pulled away.

Catching his expression, Sasha looked alarmed. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Zev's jaw rolled. "Sasha… why do you stink of my brother?"

 

Chapter 230

Sasha was shocked to silence for a moment. It was the first time Zev had spoken to her sharply.

She sat back and held his gaze. "I was talking with Lhars overnight. While you slept. It was a difficult time, and he was kind enough to stand guard for you, outside. All night," she said pointedly.

Zev's jaw just twitched. "Talking?"

"Yes, talking," she said firmly. "I asked him to arrange some meetings for me, and I was getting his input on my own… ideas. The way I'm hoping to move forward. He knows the councils and the people. He's been here while we've been gone—and from a position of leadership. He's a great resource, Zev. And he wants to see us succeed."

"Us? Or you?"

"Zev, seriously? Since when are you this kind of jealous?"

He glared at her, his eyes dark, brows heavy. Sasha wasn't sure whether to laugh, or snap at him. "Zev," she sighed. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"You're mine," he said quietly, his good hand fisted in the furs. "You can't… I won't let him—or anyone—try to take you—"

"Trust me, that wasn't what was going on," she said dryly. "C'mon, Zev, you know you can trust me."

"It's not you I don't trust," he growled. "Do I need to remind you what we just went through with Xar?"

A flash in her head, gripping that rock, slamming it into the older man's skull, the bone caving under her hand—

"Xar was… losing his mind. You told me that yourself."

Zev nodded. "Yet he had his supporters—my brother was his second!"

"And planning to defect with the wolves. You told me that yourself. Lhars helped me, Zev. He helped you! Trust me, he has no interest in me for a mate."

"He displayed for you—challenged me for you!"

"He was challenging you to make a show, to give you a chance to step up the hierarchy, Zev. You told me yourself, he was helping you!"

Zev closed his mouth, his lips tight and thin. "You're right," he mumbled a second later. "But… but you have to see, Sasha… this connection we have. It drives me. Literally drives me. Even the idea of another male's hands on you… it makes my skin itch!"

Sasha sighed, holding his gaze. "Zev," she said carefully, "I really think Lhars has a good heart."

Zev grimaced. "Maybe. Probably. But that's not the point. You're a desirable female, Sasha, you need to understand that."

"You told me the Chimera would touch me now that we'd had the public declaration!"

"That's exactly my point—I said no male in his right mind would touch you. And yet, here we are! My brother should have been keeping his distance!"

"He did," Sasha said simply. "I didn't."

Zev froze, gaping at her.

Sasha groaned and put a hand on his arm. It was tense. A steel bar under her palm. She stroked it with her thumb.

"Not that way," she said quietly. "We talked a great day. Your brother is hurting on a lot of levels, Zev. And he's trying to help you, even though he hurts. I comforted hi as a friend."

"Why the hell would you do that? Since when is Lhars your friend?"

"Since he told me what I needed to hear, not what was easy. And since he helped you."

"And that meant you needed to touch him?"

"Yes!"

"Why?!"

"Because that's who I am, Zev. And your brother was the one who snapped his fingers in front of my face and said if I'm going to be successful here, among the Chimera, that I have to stop apologizing and own who I am. Be who I am, even if it's different. I have to make my decisions, then walk them out, regardless of what others think."

"I told you that, too! I believe that!"

"Good. Then this is me, doing that, Zev," she said firmly, folding her arms.

"But—"

"No buts. I'm someone who cares about people, Zev. I reach out and I want to help. And if they're helping me, I'm even more invested in making sure they're taken care of. But no one is ever going to touch my heart—or my body—like you do. So relax. Your brother needed a hug, even though he didn't know it. So I gave him one."

"YOU HUGGED HIM?" Zev tried to sit up, and grunted, his hands fisting in the furs as he closed his eyes and breathed through the pain.

Sasha was not impressed. "Seriously, Zev? You think because we bonded I'm suddenly, what, a possession you can just withhold from other people?"

"No!" he growled through his teeth, eyes still closed against the pain. "Of course not."

"Then grow up."

"This isn't an issue of being juvenile," he spat, then took a breath and opened his eyes to find hers. "The new bond is… it makes me hyper-aware of you, Sash. Drives me to keep you safe."

"You can't expect me not to meet with and talk to men. Apparently, I'm alpha! And that's virtually all that's here! I am going to have to talk to males, Zev. Meet with them. Eat with them. Be around them, and—"

"There is no need for you to be comforting them," he growled. Then his entire body shuddered, and despite the heat of anger in his gaze, a pleading fear was there as well.

Sasha took a deep breath as she watched him fight for control.

This whole time had been hard for both of them. And she could feel him through the bond, feel his tension and his fear… Was it fair to criticize him for feelings?

Sasha unfolded her arms and leaned forward onto the bed, one hand to the center of his chest, the other in his hair. "No one has me like you do, Zev," she sad quietly.

Zev brought up his good hand pulled her down into a searing kiss. She returned it deeply. And deep within her, she felt that light, that heat, fizzing in her veins, and driving her heart forward, towards him.

She broke the kiss, but pressed her forehead against his, her fingers tight in his hair.

I can't do this with anyone but you, Zev, she said in his head. You have my heart. Feel it. Feel me.

Zev sighed. I can, he sent back, flattening his hand over hers on his chest, their hearts beating in time. And you have mine.

Sasha sighed, relaxing into him.

But that doesn't mean I want you touching my brother, he rumbled in her head.