Ch. 271..280

Chapter 271

It had been such a battle not to respond to the woman's word. To give no reaction, to not allow Nick to see her stiffen, or her expression change.

She rubbed her face on the woman's hair again, then stepped back and clasped her hands together, as if she was happy—but in truth, it was to stop Nick from seeing her hands shake.

Nick suggested they all sit down, so as a group they moved around to the large, sectional couch. Sasha sat on the end, Nick standing behind her, leaning on the couch back, while all the others took various places alongside. Bayley sat where she could see Sasha clearly, and the others gathered around her.

Feeling Nick behind her shoulder gave Sasha an eerie feeling that soon turned to nausea. But she wanted to know these women, so she did her best to stay relaxed.

"If you don't mind," she said carefully, "I don't share your senses… can you tell me which clans you're from?"

Bayley grimaced. "I am a Tiger," she said, then looked at Penny—a wolf. Then the others one by one, until Sasha knew there were three each of the tigers and wolves, and two goats.

No fliers, Sasha noted mentally, and no hares.

Interesting.

"How did you all come to be here?" Sasha asked, innocently, wondering if the women's stories would gel with Nick's.

"This is our home," Bayley said quickly, watching her intently. "We have all been here since our making."

That explained the odd stiffness to their rituals, Sasha thought. These Chimera were… domesticated. Trying to fulfill their instincts, but not being given opportunity to do it. It turned her stomach. She thought about the Chimera in Thana and how… free they were by comparison. Then she realized that the females here had been taken from that freedom and placed in tiny spaces like this, and she wanted to shudder.

But before she could find out any more about the women—females, she reminded herself—Nick clapped his hands and everyone startled. "I still have a lot to show Sasha, but I wanted you all to have a chance to meet her. I'll bring her back later, or tomorrow, so you can get to know each other better."

Sasha wanted to protest—she wanted to know these women better, to try to find some way to help them! But she knew she couldn't become resistant on Nick so soon. So she stood reluctantly, catching Bayley's eye. Under her breath—far too quiet for Nick to ever hear it—she breathed, "I heard you. I'll help."

Bayley didn't respond so Sasha had to hope that she'd heard as she followed Nick from the room, promising to be back soon.

When they stepped back into the hallway and the door clicked behind them, Nick smiled. "That went well."

"Did it?"

"Yes. They're a much harder audience, I think. So you'll find the others easier. They're from Thana. And they know Zev."

Sasha's stomach went cold. They knew Zev? How did they know him? As Alpha? Or as… she was about to ask, but Nick was already pushing the door across the hall open. They were already there?

He walked in, calling much more casually this time for the women to come meet her, holding the door open for her. As Sasha stepped in she was once again greeted by a group of females—only five this time—all tall, but this group was very obviously less healthy. Their eyes were slightly sunken and they all had dark circles under them, as if they hadn't slept. Their faces were gaunt, and their skin sallow. Their hair—blond, brunette, straight, curly—was dull and limp.

Sasha wanted to gather each of them in for a hug, then feed them a burger, but they reminded her of the friend she'd had in college who had suffered through chemotherapy. They looked like if she squeezed too hard, they might break under her hands.

Sasha looked uneasily at Nick—did he see how unhealthy these females were?—but he didn't meet her gaze, only gave the others a small smile.

"This is Sasha," he said significantly.

All five sets of eyes snapped to Sasha's face—none of them with smiles. Sasha's adrenalin jangled at the spike of tension in the room, but before she could think of what to say, one of the females stepped forward and offered her hand—as a human would, to shake.

"I'm Shayn," she said stiffly. "I am pack alpha here."

Sasha blinked. "Would you… like to share scents?" she asked carefully, uncertain of the etiquette.

The female stared at her for a moment, then nodded and stepped in, brushing her face against Sasha's hair briefly, as Sasha did the same.

"You've met the others already," she said quietly, her tone giving no indication whether that was a good thing or not.

"Yes, I—"

"You're Zev's?" a small, quavering voice asked from behind the alpha. Sasha looked past her to the smallest of the four, blond and very pretty, but also very frail.

"I… yes," Sasha confirmed.

The female's brow furrowed. "His chosen mate?"

"Yes."

"You walked the ritual?" Her voice got higher with each question, and Sasha felt terrible. Clearly this female either had feelings for Zev, or found something horrifying in Sasha's being human, because terror seemed to coat her thicker with each confirmation from Sasha.

"Yes, and we had the Solitude," she said quietly before the woman could ask.

The females all went very still, staring at her. She looked back and forth between them. "Are you all… wolves?" she asked, her voice hushed, as the reality of this situation came home to her.

"Yes—" Shayn began, but she was cut off by an ear-piercing shriek from the smaller blonde.

"You cannot take my mate! You cannot! I will not survive it!"

She was the smallest of the females, but she launched forward, the sound of fabric snapping and tearing the only warning as she shifted into her wolf in a blink.. Sasha screamed as the animal pounced, bearing her to the ground.

 

Chapter 272

Before she had any chance to react, or even scream, Sasha hit the floor with a bang, her tailbone shuddering with pain. But she was pinned, the weight of the massive wolf ensuring she couldn't move. A guttural snarl and snapping teeth became all she could see and hear.

She'd barely sucked in a breath, her brain screaming, waiting for the pierce of teeth on skin, when Nick bellowed, "She might be carrying his pups!"

The wolf, standing over her, paws on her shoulders, teeth just an inch from her face, froze. But her growl continued to putter through the room, her lips peeled back from her teeth, and the hair on the back of her neck and shoulders standing inches off the rest of her body.

Sasha found herself frozen in that pure blue gaze, so reminiscent of Zev's, and despite the fear jangling through her, she could see the pain and fear in those eyes. Compassion swelled her chest.

Holy shit. What had they done to these women?

"Faryn, get off her. I don't want to have to hurt you," Nick said, his voice flat and dark, one hand behind his back, as if he had a weapon there.

The wolf's eyes snapped up to look at him and her ears, which had been pinned against her head, went limp.

With a whine, she slunk off of Sasha, her head and tail low, darting through the room to darkened door at the other end.

Sasha waited, but the others were all watching Nick, their eyes wide and wary as he waited for Faryn to return—in human form again, and dressed in new clothes since she'd torn the others.

"Take a seat and we'll explain," Nick said, his voice short, with anger or fear, Sasha wasn't sure.

Faryn walked straight to the couch—another sectional, though this room was smaller, so the couch was as well—and sat down, her arms folded, and eyes wide and red-rimmed. Sasha thought she looked even paler than she had a moment ago, if that was possible.

The others carefully stepped over to the sofa to join her, while Nick offered a hand to help Sasha to her feet.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to run. But she remembered what Zev had taught her about being strong, being Alpha, in the eyes of Chimera.

Never let them see weakness.

Give orders not suggestions.

Take the space you want and expect others to make way.

So instead of recoiling as she wanted to do, she strode past the women who were finding their seats and plopped down on the coffee table in front of it, invading their space, her knees almost brushing Shayn's.

The female stared at her and Sasha held her gaze, forced herself not to look away.

"He was mine since I was seventeen years old," she said firmly. "He was forced to remove himself from me, but when we were reunited, there was no question. He fought back from banishment to Alpha of the wolves just to take me before another male could. It took him less than a week.

"You can kill me if you want to, but you will only kill him—his heart," she corrected herself quickly, not wanting to give Nick that crucial information yet. "He is mine, heart and soul. And I am his. I grieve what was done to you. I grieve that your hearts and souls have been damaged by all of this. But he is mine, and that fact will not change whether I live or die."

Shayn paled, but nodded, her hands clenched to fists in her lap.

A tiny sob sounded from her left, but Sasha didn't drop the alpha female's gaze. She was relieved when Shayn turned to look at the other female, to reach across the woman between them and touch her arm.

"He's stolen from us," the smaller female sobbed. "Stolen from me. He is mine!"

"No, he's not," Sasha said firmly, but her throat pinched. She couldn't believe what they'd done to these people. Couldn't Nick see that he was breaking their minds and hearts?

"Please, forgive her, Sasha-don," Shayn said quietly, her eyes flickering to the side to meet Sasha's as she gave her the honorific. "She knew Zev before and harbored feelings. She's deeper in the grief than the rest of us."

"The grief?" Sasha asked, knowing the answer, but praying that somehow, impossibly, the answer would be different than she expected.

"All of these females bonded with Zev when they were mated," Nick said tightly. "But he didn't bond with them. They all suffer as if the mating bond had been identified, but not completed."

"We suffer the loss of our mate!" Shayn spat, her voice hushed, pinched in unshed tears. "We have the bond, but it is empty. We are… hollowed by it."

Sasha was horrified and pressed her hand to that spot on her chest where that piece of Zev had been torn from her. For a moment she almost cried herself. Was she destined to become like these females? Had their bond been broken?

"I'm… so sorry to hear that," Sasha said, swallowing the tears that wanted to come. "How long have you all been here?"

"Three years," Shayn said quietly with a dark glance at Nick. "But we were mated to him at different times. It's why Faryn suffers more. She was mated to him early."

Sasha swallowed back a wave of nausea as it hit her, like a gut punch… these women had all had sex with Zev.

Dear Lord.

Every single one of these woman had had her hands on Zev. Worse, he'd had his hands on them. She wanted to puke. She was thankful they were all looking somewhere else as she closed her eyes against the shame and fear and jealousy that bubbled up.

"It is difficult for all of us, at first," Shayn said quietly. "I imagine perhaps even worse for you, if he has chosen you. I cannot imagine… Chimera were never intended to have more than one mate, never intended to join with another. And as wolves… all of us resist the disconnection," Shayn said, nodding at her.

Sasha tried to pull herself together. "I'm not a wolf," she said hoarsely.

"You smell of Zev. You are of the pack," Shayn said as if there were no point even discussing it further. "You are… Alpha," she added reluctantly a second later.

All the females went still, watching her. Then, each of them slowly submitted, murmuring "Sasha-don."

Sasha wanted to weep—for them, and for her. Especially when Faryn very obviously forced herself to give Sasha the title.

"I'm so sorry," Sasha blurted, shoving her hands under her thighs so she wouldn't wring her fingers.. "I'm so, so sorry for your pain."

 

Chapter 273

Sasha sat through a very uncomfortable conversation then where Nick pretended to be concerned about how the females were doing—their health, their sleep, the food they'd been supplied. But they all provided rote answers, very clearly the answers they believed they were supposed to give, rather than what was actually happening in their lives.

Sasha examined them, one by one, and her stomach only dropped further. These women were dying. Their skins dry and blotchy under the paleness. They needed sunlight, good food, exercise, and… Zev.

Sasha's heart spasmed at the thought. What would these females do, she wondered, when faced with him? She was determined to free them, though she had no idea how she was going to achieve that, with them behind these secure walls and guarded hallways. But they would find a way, she was determined.

But what then? If these females really had formed the bond with Zev, even if he didn't return it, would being close to him save their lives?

And if it would, what would he and Sasha do about it?

Her mind swam for a moment with visions of sharing Zev, of having to share him in order to keep these females alive. She pushed the thoughts away as that wave of nausea crashed over her again. She… wouldn't be able to do that. But it was a problem for another day. She had other things to consider before they had to face that.

"…going to take Sasha to the sanctuary. Do any of you have any mail you'd like me to deliver?"

The eyes of the females brightened for a moment at Nick's word. They all got up from the couch and disappeared into the doorways that lined the walls. Where the other apartment had beds in position around the outside, this smaller room had six doorways, each only a few feet from the other. So these women had individual rooms?

Before Sasha could ask Nick discreetly, the women were already returning, pieces of paper and envelopes clutched in their fists. They each handed the little piles and handfuls to him, and Nick nodded, taking each one like a reassuring father, promising them that he would deliver them.

Sasha was stunned again. These notes and letters, they were for other Chimera? And Nick was going to deliver them?

"Thank you for your patience, ladies," Nick said, his mouth twisting on that word again. "I'll take Sasha to meet the others now. You all rest and I'll make sure the doctors visit tomorrow."

Most of the females nodded, murmuring their thanks, but the smallest one, Faryn, only dropped her head into her hands.

Shayn moved to put an arm around her and they all watched awkwardly as a trembling Sasha followed Nick out the door.

Anger, fear, and grief bubbled in her stomach, roiling and churning as she walked into the hallway and Nick turned to make sure the door locked behind them, before he started down the hall again—still heading away from the office and residential building.

Aware of the Chimera's sharp hearing, Sasha waited until they were further down the hallway, before she hissed, "What the hell were you doing to them, taking me in there?"

Nick didn't even turn to look at her. "They needed to know. They've been unable to accept their fates. It's why they were removed from the others."

"Removed? They're grieving and struggling so you punish them?!"

"No," Nick said through his teeth as they reached the door at the end of the hallway and he held his card to the sensor. He pushed it open and they stepped back outside, but this time to a landing that fed a wide staircase down to the forest floor.

There was a large trash can sitting just outside the door, and Nick threw the letters into it, before starting down the stairs.

He did it so nonchalantly, as if it were nothing, it took Sasha a moment to realize what had happened. When she did, her mouth dropped open and she yanked the lid off the thing and started digging into it to find them again.

"How dare you! You promised them! I bet this is their only contact with others and you'd steal it from them?"

"Sasha, you don't understand—"

"Yes, I do! I understand that you're holding these women against their will, you've forced them into a bond with a man they can't have, and now you're lying to their faces and destroying any hope they had for contact with others that they love! No wonder they're so unhealthy—you're killing them!"

"Sasha," Nick had started back up the stairs and took her elbow gently as she leaned into the deep can, digging low to find where the paper had fallen. "We can't deliver those notes."

"Yes, we can. And I will!" she snapped. "Get your hand off me."

"Sasha…" He pulled her back upright by her arm, but Sasha just yanked out of his grip and turned back to lean over the deep can.

"You're cruel. I can't believe you'd—"

"Read one of them, Sasha. Any one of them. Read it." Nick was frustrated and tore one of the little notes out of her hand that was leaned on the edge of the large can.

"I'm not breaching their privacy like that—"

"You won't be, trust me." He unfolded the note himself, his eyes sparking with anger, and held it in front of her. "Read it!"

Sasha pursed her lips, but did as he asked, taking the note and scanning it quickly, her heart dropping.

The notes were written in crayon on blank sheets of paper, each little more than squiggles and lines, loops and the occasional symbol or shape. Not a legible word to be found.

Sasha frowned. "What…?"

"They can't read or write, Sasha.. They don't know how."

 

Chapter 274

Nick stared down at her like he felt sorry for her. She almost punched him in the nose. He took the rest of the papers she'd retrieved and threw them back into the trash can, then started back down the stairs, obviously expecting her to follow.

Sasha did, but to stand in defense of Zev and his people. "So, they can't read. Big deal. That doesn't mean they're stupid."

"No, of course not. You're right. There's many, many ways they outsmart us. But that's not my point. They don't read or write because they've had no need to. But also, we've found that many of them can't. Their brains just don't work that way. They're tactile people—like animals. They learn through trial and error, by observation, cause and effect. There are many things they can do better than us. But there are also many things they can't."

Sasha blinked. "But, Zev—"

"One of these days you're going realize just how special Zev is, Sasha." Nick said, and it was the first time she'd heard something like passion in his voice. "We don't know why, but Zev turned out different. The same process, the same kinds of DNA blended in the same ways. Yet he's every bit as human as you or I—honestly, he's a better human than me in some ways. Yet, he has retained the Chimeran senses, strength, and healing."

"But don't they all—"

"No, Sasha they don't. The Chimera are not human. They do not live, think, or act like humans. Their bodies work differently, as well as their minds. It's one of the reasons Zev is so admired by his people—because they can sense that there's something different in him. Something better. Something that makes them all stronger, because no matter what you want to think, they aren't necessarily capable of caring for themselves."

"That's bullshit. They're so much more capable—"

"Give it a fucking rest, Sasha," Nick growled leading her deeper down the gravel road, into the trees. "You're like so many humans who think that if we just leave nature to nature, it will take care of itself. Well, guess what? That's not always true. Have you ever seen what happens to wildlife that's been raised by humans after being rescued—usually from something that would have killed it—then returned to the wild?"

"That's not the same," Sasha spluttered. "Those animals are animals. They don't think rationally—and they lack the skills because we never taught them."

"Precisely."

Sasha frowned. Confused. "But you're saying that the Chimera didn't have the capability for these skills which isn't true. And besides, you made the Chimera in the first place! They wouldn't have occurred naturally."

"Actually, Chimera have been around for thousands of years—and they were dying off. We resurrected the race."

"Wait, what?"

Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Did Zev ever talk to you about the ancients?"

The term rang a bell. Sasha bit her lip. "I think he said Yhet was?"

"Yes, that's right. We've actually never identified the correct DNA mix to create a Sasquatch, so we just left them to themselves. You can see where that got us," he said dryly. "They're a sweet people, and incredibly strong, but they're like children. Curious, active, and self-destructive without even realizing it."

"Yhet is not self-destructive!"

"Because he's been locked in Thana. Did Zev tell you why?"

"Because he got caught wandering here and some people followed him and ended up coming into Thana."

"Precisely. Before we got involved, the Sasquatch were being hunted out of existence by the richest of the rich around the world. They'd become the new, impossible trophies."

Sasha wanted to gag. She tried to imagine humans hunting—actually hunting—Yhet. Her huge, blustery, adorable friend, running through the dark, panting and calling, desperate for a rest—Sasha shook her head and swallowed hard. She wanted to punch Nick just for putting the image in her mind. To know there was a measure of truth in it… Ugh.

"Well, I don't know what happened before," Sasha said as they rounded a corner in the trail and another, massive building, this one looking much like a barn, came into view under the trees ahead. "But I do know that Yhet is an amazing man. And now he's completely alone. And from what I hear, that's because of you and your intervention."

"Yhet wouldn't even have been born if it weren't for our intervention. His mother was pregnant with him when Thana was a hunting ground." Nick sighed. "See, this is the problem with half-knowing the truth. You get all idealist and convince yourself that we're the villains in every story. Without us, Yhet wouldn't even be alive today. The predecessors of my bosses bought the hunting ground and left the Sasquatch with the goal of repopulating so they could be studied safely. But they're so slow growing and maturing… there just weren't enough of them left. Add to that the germs humans brought into Thana, and the natural conflicts that arise between Chimera and end in death… now we just have Yhet. His race will die with him, and that's a tragedy. Yet, what can we do? We've tried to replicate him and had no luck at all."

Sasha scowled. "What does that have to do with Zev, and the females, and us not taking their letters?"

They were only fifty feet from the large door into the barn, but Nick stopped in the middle of the trail and turned to face her. Sasha stopped too, folding her arms against the piercing gaze of the man Zev called father, but that she was growing to hate for his smug, self-satisfied attitude alone.

"I'm trying to get you to see that you don't understand everything that's going on here. You don't understand every success we've had, every life we've saved. And you sure as hell don't understand our failures."

"So you admit you've failed them, then?"

"Of course!"

"Then…" Sasha trailed off, hands on her head. "I'm so confused. What are we arguing about?"

Nick's face went very serious. "I'm about to take you into a place that is going to… disturb you. And I'm asking you to consider that just because something doesn't work for you as a human being, that just because it doesn't appeal to your or your sense of right, doesn't mean it's bad for everyone, or everything."

Sasha stared at him. "What are we doing, Nick?"

He dropped his chin, but held her eyes. "I'm going to take you into the breeding arena, and you're going to see that this isn't what you think. And then… then we're going to go see the sanctuary. If you're going to be Alpha, Sasha, if you're going to make this work, you have to understand everything we're doing. And you have to be on board. Because the men I work for aren't going to entertain your sensibilities. We're here to do a job, and we're going to do it, with or without you."

 

Chapter 275

As dinnertime approached the healer's building slowly emptied around Zev.

The Alphas had all left two hours earlier. Some of the others had hung around, but Zev had grown drowsy. The last thing he knew, he was having an easy chat with Jhon—who was very clearly trying to keep his mind occupied so he wouldn't think about Sasha—but then he startled and suddenly the light in the room had changed, his heart was pounding, and he was alone.

Zev sat up quickly, only barely wincing at the pain in his side. It was improving, he thought with relief. But his heart was beating so hard and his adrenaline was up. He fought the urge to shift—the healers were convinced it might reopen his wound.

What had frightened him? Where was the threat?

He looked around, keeping his breathing as low as he could so he could listen, but with his pulse thrumming in his ears, he was struggling.

He couldn't hear or scent anything bad. So why did his body want him to scream?

Then he looked up, saw the low ceiling and his breath stopped.

It was happening again.

Zev sighed and dropped his face in his hands. But breathing his own breath only made the feeling worse, so he raised his head again, then slowly, carefully got out of the bed and walked across the floor to open the door. There was a window he could see from his bed, but he needed the fresh air.

The air outside was bracing, but not too cold, even when he wasn't wearing a shirt. And he could breathe so much easier.

"Fuck it," he muttered and went back to the bed, pulled off a fur to throw carefully around his shoulders, then stepped back outside, onto the porch, to lower himself to the top step and look out at the clearing beyond the building.

He could breathe. Sitting here, with trees and open space, he could breathe.

He watched the sun dip below the trees to the east, watched the shadows slowly engulf the clearing, and he was still sitting there thirty minutes later when the healer came rushing to the door, then blew out a breath when he found Zev sitting there.

"You scared me," the big male said.

"I needed air," Zev replied without looking up at him. "But I'm glad you're here. I have a request."

The male's scent became wary. "What is it?"

"I want to sleep in my cave tonight. I'll rest better—and I need the rest, right? That's the best aid for my healing?"

"Yes, but only when you're resting in a healthy environment—and you don't have to hurt yourself to get there."

"I can't sleep in these walls," Zev growled. "I wake in a panic and… I just can't. I'm asking for permission, please, to let me sleep where I can truly rest. I'll return here in the morning."

"I don't know, Zev…"

Zev finally turned his head away from the late afternoon light and met the male's eyes. He stood in the doorway, a thick-bodied Owl, his eyes such a light brown they were almost gold. He was probably the same age as Zev, but like most owls there was something about him that made him seem older.

"It's Allory, right?" Zev asked quietly.

The male nodded.

"Allory… I can't sleep here. It's going to make me crazy. I'm not trying to hurt myself. Believe me, I want to heal. But I promised my mate—the Alpha—that I would follow healers' orders. So I'm asking you, please, to have some compassion. Let me sleep in my cave, then return here during the day. I'm already feeling better, stronger. So much stronger than I was this morning. Tomorrow I'll be even better—"

"That's exactly when things become dangerous," Allory said. "When your body feels better, but you don't understand the limits that you have. You will tire extremely quickly, and even if your wound has closed, it isn't as strong as your flesh. You risk opening it again—"

"I'm not asking to be active, but to rest somewhere else than this hellhole!" Zev snapped, then caught himself. Raking a hand through his hair, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just… I need to get out of here."

Allory stared at him for a long moment, then sighed. "Stay here for a minute."

Then the male disappeared inside. He was gone for several minutes, so long that Zev nearly went back in to see what the male was doing. But when he did reemerge a minute later, he threw Zev's fur jacket at him and waited for him to put it on. Allory held a thick roll on a string, and a canvas bag in his other hand. "Show me where your cave is," he said quietly. "I'll see."

Half an hour later, though normally it would only take Zev a little more than half that to make the trip on human legs, they made the final climb up the trail to his cave.

Zev was doing his best not to pant, but the truth was, his body was desperate for rest already and his side was beginning to ache. But he pushed on, relieved when they finally rounded the flat to the cave opening and walked inside.

Someone—probably Yhet, or Kyelle—had been in there to clean up while they'd been on solitude. Zev's heart pinched with gratitude when he found fresh flowers, only just beginning to droop on a small table next to the furs. The furs had been shaken and beaten clean, and there was a locked box of dried meats and fruit.

Someone had thought they'd return here after the solitude and had done their best to make it welcoming for Sasha. Zev made a mental note to find out who and to thank them.

The furs called his name, but he forced himself to stay on his feet as he scanned the cave, then looked to Allory.

"I will eat. I will sleep. And tomorrow, I'll return to the healer's center."

Allory walked to the circle of rocks that sat around the bowl they used for a fire pit, let the heavy roll slide from his shoulder, and placed the canvas bag on the stone floor.

"One condition," he said. "You have to let me change your dressing, watch you eat dinner, and stay until you should be sleeping. And I'm going to post a guard at the cave mouth to stop others coming to disturb you when you're resting."

Zev's lips twisted against a smile. "Who does the guard have to be?"

"Which of your friends is the most obnoxiously protective?"

Zev snorted. "Skhal, hands down."

Allory grinned. "Then Skhal it is."

 

Chapter 276

The walk had taken more out of him than he expected. Not wanting Allory to change his mind, Zev stayed on his feet, ate some of the dried beef, and made small talk with the male. But soon he became light-headed and to make an excuse to lay down, suggested he build the fire early. Allory watched him closely, but encouraged him to go ahead.

Sighing with relief, and only wincing when he had his back to the healer, Zev got down on the stone next to the fire pit and took his time building and lighting the fire, pleased when it was crackling merrily.

He hadn't realized he was feeling chilled, until the warmth of the flames washed over him. But then all he wanted to do was sink into the furs, pull them over his head, and sleep.

He battled through the urge for another half hour, but when his head began to ache, he gave up. "I need to lay down," he muttered, crawling the few feet to the furs, stripping off, keeping his teeth clenched against chattering as the cold seemed to invade his bones.

Allory shook his head. "I wondered when you'd stop being stubborn."

Zev froze in the act of pulling back the furs. "You knew?"

The male grinned. "I wanted to see whether you'd actually pass out, or be smart enough to admit how tired you were. I'm glad you admitted it. If you'd passed out first, I would have had to insist that you not stay here for another couple of days until I could be certain you wouldn't hurt yourself."

Zev opened his mouth, but Allory flapped a hand at him. "Just rest. I'll stay until moonlight, then leave some broth warming next to the fire. If you wake hungry, drink that before eating anything solid. You may still have issues with your stomach for a day or two."

Zev sank into the furs gratefully. "Thank you," he said, his eyes already half closed. "I'll do that."

He thought he'd fall asleep immediately, as soon as his head hit the furs, but as he snuggled in to find warmth, he caught a faint trace of Sasha's scent still on the furs from night here when he'd first been acknowledged.

The smell cut him like a blade, slicing his skin open and baring his chest. His breath caught like the stab of pain was real.

With a groan that he prayed Allory would think was just relief, he buried his face in that side of the furs, inhaling deeply to catch any trace of her on the fur. His mind danced with images of Sasha during the solitude—smiling, sleepy, sensual… Zev swallowed hard and reached for her instinctively through the bond, only to find the place where she should be in his chest and in his mind, hollow and aching.

The pain of it stole his breath again.

Where was she? At the headquarters. He would have gambled his life on it. It's the only place Nick would have felt certain she couldn't contact anyone they didn't want her in touch with. And the only place the Board would have felt comfortable gathering to meet her.

He didn't doubt that Nick's summary of what was needed was real. He didn't doubt that they wanted the Alpha there, to pin them down and make sure they'd work in alignment with the Board—or force them to.

But they wouldn't have reckoned on his resourceful, intelligent mate.

You've got this, Sash, he breathed down the bond, though it blew away from him and echoed into nothing.

His pride in her, his certainty was short lived. Just because he knew where she would be didn't mean he knew what state she was in.

Nick's treatment of her would be directly influenced by what she said and how she behaved. As long as he believed he could convince her—by whatever means—to work with them, he'd be accommodating and open. But the moment it became clear that she was resisting…

A tiny whine rolled out of his throat.

She was probably in one of the apartments. As long as she hadn't done anything crazy, they'd let her sleep in a bed. But what if she'd tried to free the females immediately? What if they'd caged her? Or worse?

Was she comfortable? Warm enough? Was she in pain?

Zev didn't know, and it was going to kill him. Now that he was in a place he could relax, and there were no distractions, suddenly the beckoning abyss of sleep didn't seem quite so appealing.

What if Sasha returned and he didn't hear her?

What if she returned and the bond didn't reconnect?

What if she was dead and he didn't even know it?

No, she couldn't be, he reminded himself as his heart began to pound painfully again. If she'd died, he would have died too.

He found an odd comfort in that. It was something he could know with certainty, at least. But also… also it meant that if she left this plane of existence, he would go with her.

Assuming they even went to the same place.

Tormented by a sudden image of himself, lifted out of this life, but torn from her, Zev whine again.

"Are you in pain?" Allory asked quietly, compassionately.

"Not the kind you can do anything about," Zev rumbled. He didn't raise his head from the furs. Didn't want the male to see the vulnerability in his eyes.

There was silence for a long moment, then Allory sighed. "My mate was taken three years ago," he said quietly.

Zev's heart sank. "I'm so sorry, Allory," he said hoarsely, rolling over in the furs to face the man. "If I'd had any idea—"

"I'm not telling you that because I'm angry or blaming you, Zev. I'm telling you because… because I know how it feels to have your mate torn from you. I know how that feels."

Zev blew out a breath. "Does it ever ease? This… ache?"

Allory shook his head. "No. Honestly. But you get better at accommodating it."

Zev sighed. "I wouldn't wish this on any male."

Allory shrugged. "So many of us share it, Zev. Let us help you. We're walking the same path. I pray yours proves different to ours. That your mate is returned quickly."

The generosity of the man, when Zev had been an active part of his mate being stolen, made Zev want to weep. "Thank you," he rasped.

It took minutes before he could inhale without pain, but when he finally did, as his body began to relax, pulling him towards sleep, Zev lifted this new friend to the Creator and begged for the man to be blessed.

Bring his mate back.

Bring my mate back.

Please?

Because even if you don't love me, I know you love her.

Take care of her now, please, while I can't. Keep her safe…

 

Chapter 277

Walking into the building, Sasha was reminded more and more of barn. The floors were cement where they entered and continued forward in a long, very wide corridor. But both sides were lined not by walls and doors, but by what Nick referred to as stables. Which was just a pretty name for cages, Sasha realized, her stomach dropping.

The bottom half of the wall was solid, a flat, slick material that Sasha couldn't identify. The top half were bars made of the same, slick material—its surface looked almost oily. The bars ran a good fifteen feet into the air where they met with a ceiling, too high to reach for anyone other than Yhet. There was a weight to it, though, as if the space above was a loft or some kind of room. Looking up from in front of the cages, Sasha couldn't see anything above it.

Nick led her straight to the nearest stable and leaned on the half-door. Sasha was wary, afraid of what she might see. But as she peered over the door it was with horror at what this all meant, but relief that there was no living thing within it.

The stable was a cell. Some kind of spongy pad lined the floor. There was a bed, a sink, and a toilet. The interior walls and bars were still the same material she'd observed from the outside.

Nick caught her examining it and smiled. "You won't have seen that before. It's an alloy we developed—half metal, half plastic. Zero friction. It literally sheds… everything. Dust won't stick to it. Insects can't land on it. If you grab it, you won't be able to get any purchase. Helps us keep everything clean and… contained.

Sasha's stomach twisted.

She put a hand up to one of the bars to feel it and wanted to shudder. It was so slick under her palm it felt wet—yet when she took her hand away, there was nothing. She tried grabbing the bar and pulling on it, but her hand just slid down its surface as if she'd yanked on air.

"See?" Nick said, sounding pleased with himself. "It's still in patent, so we haven't made it available to the public yet. But trust me, it's going to make us a fortune when we do."

"To what purpose?" Sasha asked faintly, certain she didn't want to hear the answer.

"Anything you want to keep sure. Fencing, doors, cages—you name it. The prison system alone…" he trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished. But Sasha could see it in her mind.

She'd never felt comfortable with the imprisonment of human beings for anything less than violent behavior. Looking at this cell, she found herself in the strange, dual position of finding comfort in the idea that certain people would never free themselves. And utter terror that it would be used against the innocent.

Correction, was being used against the innocent.

Sasha turned away suddenly. "I don't want to be here."

"None of us want to be here, Sasha," Nick said darkly, but he stepped away from the cell and started back down the wide corridor. "Sometimes we have to do things we don't like to achieve ends that are worth the hassle."

Sasha didn't answer. Inside she wanted to scream at this man that no ends were worth imprisoning innocent people against their wills! But she remembered the cameras and the listening devices, and the purpose she had and stayed silent as if she were considering what he said.

They continued walking, Nick describing when and how the stables were used. "When there's a medical need, obviously. Or reason for observation. We can separate a Chimeran out and bring them here. And when we're mating. We isolate the females here in the days prior to their ovus, so there's no chance of them being mated by the wrong male, or at the wrong time."

Sasha's stomach rolled over and for a moment she thought she might be sick. "You're… you're housing the females with males?"

Nick shook his head. "We have only a small male population here in our world, Sasha. And mostly children. There's only a few adult males we've made who exhibit attributes we want to exploit in the bloodlines. There's a very small number that we brought out of Thana more recently. But the sexually mature males are all housed completely separately from the females. There's no mixing between them."

"Then… what would you be keep females away from, to stop them having sex?" She couldn't believe those words were even coming out of her mouth.

Nick gave her a look like she was being na?ve again. "I told you, Sasha, the men I work for are ruthless. If they want something, they take it. And they have a habit of hiring others who think similarly. But these men are also very practical. The females are incredibly valuable. All I had to demonstrate to them was that if we didn't keep the females under surveillance, when their breeding instincts kicked in, they would allow human males to display for them. Chimera can't bond with humans, so the females who'd sought this union were dying left and right, their instincts seeking the bond, but their bodies incapable of it—yet they'd desire no one beyond the male who'd taken them. It was a shit show. I got it stopped. I thought you'd approve."

Sasha's head spun. "I don't understand—Chimera can bond with humans. Zev and I—"

"Wake up, Sasha! Zev is different! Why aren't you listening?" He turned on her and Sasha braced, standing to face him, her hands clenched to fists. "With the exception of Zev, Chimera have sex with only one male or female their entire lives. When they begin a sexual relationship, they're bonded. For life. We were able to… adjust that gene in Zev, so his brain and body didn't respond the way the others did."

"Adjust it? Remove it, you mean. You changed him. He's… unnatural!" it was just coming home to her that Zev was always supposed to be hers, but they'd almost stolen this. From both of them.

But Nick just huffed as if he was losing his patience. "Zev is nothing but unnatural, Sasha. I know you love him—and believe me, he adores you. But no matter which way you slice it, he's only here because of me, because of this team of people. And without us, the two of you would never have met.. So whether you like the choices we made or not doesn't even factor in."

 

Chapter 278

"Your choices might be out of my control," Sasha snarled. "But you call Zev your son. You try to make out as if you care about you. But you also told him he couldn't form the bond at all, and that's clearly been a lie! He wasn't looking for me, Nick. We found each other. But he wasn't looking."

"No, when we told Zev that, we believed it was true. He was given to have sex with a handful of females when he reached sexual maturity, and he didn't bond with any of them. We thought we'd finally struck gold. But none of them got pregnant. So the next step was to see if he could reproduce with human females. But it started to become clear that he wasn't just sexually attracted to you, that he was bonding—even before you two slept together. We tried to hold him off, we were scrambling. Trying to decide whether to let that happen and bring you into this, or to stop the relationship altogether and see if he'd develop it with someone else in a different environment. But then you both surprised us. We had to remove him to figure out what we were going to do. We didn't intend, at that point, to keep him away from you for so long, but we needed time and space to figure out exactly what we were doing."

"But you said—"

"Sasha, our plans change constantly. Every new piece of information, every new event, the goalposts shift. We started on this road to make super-soldiers. Right now we're trying to improve the entire human race. Who knows where we'll be next year? But I can tell you where we won't be: If we don't figure out how to make more like Zev, we won't be anywhere. They'll scrap this entire project and start again because—"

"Stop, just stop! You're talking in circles! Stop trying to deflect!" Sasha snapped. Nick eyed her carefully, folding his arms, waiting while she clawed her hands into her hair. "I'm not going to let you turn this conversation away from my real questions, Nick," she said a moment later, slightly calmer, but her heart still pounding. "Tell me why the females have to be kept isolated."

Nick's lips thinned. "You haven't been around a fertile Chimeran female. And when I tell you this, you're going to think I don't see their humanity, and I do."

"Just answer the fucking question!"

Nick sighed. "Right now, you're feeling agitated, right? Your heart's pounding, your mind is running faster than usual, your adrenalin is pumping—"

"Nick! Answer the question!"

"I am!" he snapped. "But I have to put it into parameters you can understand. Am I right? Are you feeling like your body wants to… do something?"

"Yes!"

"That's because you're starting to feel threatened and when that happens your entire physiology changes. The part of your brain that drives you when youre under extreme stress is called the Amygdala—it's… it's ironically what is often referred to as your animal brain. Your instincts. Fight, flight, or freeze. It's your survival instinct, okay?"

"Whatever."

Nick rolled his eyes. "So for you, when you're afraid or stressed, your decisions and instincts are driven by that part of your brain. It will take over when it perceives that you're under threat, and it will do whatever it takes to get you back to safety. It's your biological safety valve." He tapped her temple and Sasha jerked away, but he didn't press forward. "The thing is, for the Chimera, that piece of their brain is different. They access it a lot more, and not only under stress. It gets kicked into gear by different things. Not just fear. Not just danger. But by any process of their natural existence that requires their instincts. Hunting. Protection of their young. Reproduction," he said, emphasizing the last word.

Sasha set her jaw, waiting. She wouldn't let him turn her head away from this again.

Nick held her gaze and his jaw tightened too. "When a Chimeran female enters the part of their cycle where they're fertile, it's instinct to mate," he said tightly. "And when you add that to an environment where they feel under stress, the instinct enters… hyperdrive."

Sasha had a feeling she was starting to see where this was going.

Nick took another deep breath and when he continued his tone was softer. "We observed early on that, especially in the younger females, they sought to breed. And if they didn't have a choice, their instinct became to… entice whatever male they had access to."

Sasha gritted her teeth. "If you're going to try and make me believe that Chimeran females are promiscuous and you're just saving them from themselves—"

"No! No. Hear me out," Nick said, raising his hands to soothe her. "What I'm saying it, it's instinct for them to seek a mate and reproduce. And something about being isolated from males gives some kind of boost to that instinct. So females who might have been taking the time to consider their options when they were on Thana, suddenly became… desperate to become mothers. I mean truly desperate, Sasha. Everything in their bodies drove them towards males. It was something they couldn't control any more than you could control the reflex to scream when you're startled, or duck when something flies towards your head. Do you understand me? Their brains and bodies drove them to find a mate. And that meant that if there weren't good choices around, they'd choose someone… insufficient."

The picture he painted was so sad… but Sasha shook her head. She had no clue whether to believe him or not. Normally she was good at picking liars, but with every word that came out of his mouth she became more confused about whether he was just a sick guy telling her the truth, or an even sicker guy making this shit up.

Her head spun. "Tell me," she demanded. "Tell me what this has to do with me."

Nick's expression suddenly turned compassionate. Sasha wanted to slap his face.

 

 

Chapter 279

"I'm going to do better than tell you," Nick said, his voice low and gruff. "I'm going to show you." Then he turned on his heel and started walking again. "Come on," he called back to her without turning to make sure she was following. "The Arena's just up here."

Sasha looked around, at the cages, and the unknown materials they were made of. It was all so surreal. And with each step they took, the picture just got darker.

She wanted to cry, and throw up her hands and run away. She wanted to make someone else deal with this. Put it on someone else's shoulders to figure out how to get around such an insurmountable enemy. But she knew she couldn't.

So, feet heavy with dread, she trotted after Nick, catching up with him before he reached the end of the wide stable corridor.

When they reached what she'd initially thought was a wall at the end, with some signs on it, Nick still didn't turn to look at her, but he started explaining as he lifted his card to the sensor at the end of the last cell, and suddenly the wall began to softly rumble.

"When the females are almost ready to mate, they're brought here to the stables, then when their day comes, we bring them in here," he said, watching the massive wall slide back. Sasha swallowed convulsively as the doorway widened to reveal an almost circular area right behind it. It really did look like an arena: Thick sawdust covered the wide circle which was bordered by high walls made of that terrible material again. But behind those walls, rows of seats rose almost to the high, arched ceiling on three sides. As they stepped inside, Sasha craned her neck to look around. There was nothing but seating—bleachers—around the arena to her sides and behind her. But straight ahead a large box, like something she'd seen at sports stadiums—with walls, and massive window at the front, and its own lighting. Probably other things inside it, too, but she couldn't see anything except that it existed.

This was a… viewing room?

Nausea pushed at Sashas throat. She had to swallow again and again.

"Why do you need all these seats?"

Nick looked around. "Oh, that's not for the breeding," he said casually. "We keep as few people involved in that as possible, so we don't interrupt the process. We have other kinds of gatherings and events here. It's a functional space."

Sasha wanted to ask, but before she could find the courage, Nick ushered her to the right where a sensor was installed flush in the circular wall. He held his card to it until the beeped, then clicked, and a portion of the wall swung out a few inches. He led her through to a stairwell on the other side, pulling it closed behind them until it clicked.

Soon they were seated in front of the large room that was walled in at the top. Sasha could see a couple people moving within it, but they hadn't turned on the lights, and it was shadowed.

"Stay as quiet as you can," Nick said, his voice lowered as Sasha became aware of sounds underneath the floor of where they sat. "These two are coming from the other barn. They're a little more sensitive. We don't want to disturb them."

Sasha just nodded, but found herself biting the inside of her cheek as another section of wall directly below where they sat, swung out wide and a moment later a massive wolf padded out, swinging its head left and right, then trotting a circle, sniffing the walls, ears forward and tail low.

"That's the male," Nick whispered. "He's looking for her. But they bring him in first so she won't get distracted by the handlers."

Sasha felt the frown pulling her face down. She didn't know what to say, because the wolf, though not as dark or as large as Zev, still reminded her of when he'd shifted in front of her. The thick, shaggy shoulders, the markings on the face. The eyes—this wolf's eyes were gold, though—that seemed to catch everything, and dismiss it, and move on.

This had been Zev. For three years. This was what they'd put him through.

There was another sound, a high whine from under the bleachers, then another wolf emerged from the wall. Far more cautious—she walked, rather than trotted. She was smaller, and a strange blonde-brown. But her tail and ears were high and although she crept in, looking back and forth, obviously searching for enemies, when she caught sight of the male, she stopped dead.

Then, with a small huff, she darted forward.

Sasha stayed there, stomach churning with nausea, mind trying desperately to absorb what was happening as they watched the two dance and flirt. The male following her, brushing against her body, attempting to mount her more than once. She would dance forward, even growl or snap at him. But always return as soon as he stopped.

She was flirting.

Sasha didn't know what to make of it. To her eyes, she watched a wildlife documentary. Two animals acting on instinct, drawing closer to each other, until finally…

Sasha turned away when the female lay didn't run from him, when she lifted her tail and stayed her ground.

This wasn't just animals. She knew that. There were human minds inside those bodies. Hearts with feelings and fears and…

And Zev had been here. Done this. With countless females.

Suddenly the soaring ceiling and echoing space didn't matter. She felt it all closing in on her. The small yips and growls from the arena spiked her nausea until she gagged.

"I'm going to be sick," she whispered, covering her mouth and swallowing hard. "I have to get out of here."

Nick looked at her, watched her almost lose her stomach when the male yipped again, then muttered something and got to his feet, leading her along the aisle, hurrying as she pleaded with him. But it was too late. Much too late.

She was years too late.

And her body rebelled against the thought.

 

Chapter 280

As they passed the walled in room, Sasha caught sight of another of those trash cans and she knew she wasn't going to make it out of this place.

Throwing the lid back, she bent over it, her body purging and heaving. She tried to be quiet, though she couldn't have said why. She wanted nothing more than to interrupt those two in the arena. To stop them from having to go through with this.

But then Nick's words came back to her.

Desperate. The females were desperate. For mates and families.

They wanted this.

She shook her head and heaved again.

This was wrong. This was all just so wrong.

How was she ever going to stop this from happening? These people made the Chimera!

As her body finally emptied itself and she sagged over the trash can, panting, swallowing, waiting to see if there was anything left, despair washed over her.

This was impossible. These people… what they did…

How was she ever going to defeat them?

When she finally trusted her stomach to stay in one place, she stood up and, without meeting eyes with Nick, followed him past the boxed in room, to another stairwell behind it that descended into the dark.

Her body flashed a warning—she was walking into the unknown, the dark, in this place where these men did these horrible things and had no accountability…

But she just shook her head at herself. What did it matter?

It hit her then that no matter what she did or said, the moment these people recognized that she was trying to deceive them, or work around them, they would simply kill her.

She would have no choice in it. Probably not even time to respond.

So she followed Nick, down into the dark. He flipped on a light at the bottom of the stairs, then led her down another, very narrow hallway, muttering to himself. She ignored him. Her entire body trembled. Her knees felt like they wanted to give out on every step.

And her head spun.

I'm so sorry, Zev, she whispered in her mind, wishing so desperately that he could hear her. She put a hand to her chest, to that spot where he had been a part of her, cradled it with the flat of her palm. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize.

*****

An hour and another shower later—a shower in which she'd sobbed for twenty minutes straight—Sasha sat on the thick sofa in the small apartment Nick had assigned her. He'd ducked out to get her something sweet to drink. She wondered if the door would open if she used her card or if he'd locked her in.

She decided she didn't want to know, and stayed in her seat, staring at the door.

She was weak. She was scared, and tired, and missing Zev, and terrified that she'd completely misjudged her own ability to handle this… place.

But she was also here, and had no choice. She'd started down this path, and there were only two ways out of it—through these men, or killed by them. She was certain of that now.

Nick had watched those two wolves breed like it was a boring class assignment. If he, who claimed to care about Zev, who claimed to be invested in the safety of the Chimera and fighting to keep them alive—if that man was completely calloused about the things that were being done to them here, imagine what the others must be like? The men who threatened to just wipe the slate clean?

When Nick returned with a bottle of the cranberry juice she'd requested, and a six pack of ginger beer that she hadn't, she didn't say anything. She watched him put the ginger beer in the fridge, then pour her a glass of the shiny red juice.

Then he walked over to stand in front of her and offer it to her.

She took it gratefully. She needed something palate cleansing. But she didn't know what to say. She had so many questions, and was so terrified of the answers.

Nick just stood in front of her while she sipped the juice and waited. She wasn't sure whether to be grateful for his thoughtfulness, or creeped out.

"I need to know," she said faintly, finally.

"Know what?"

She raised her head and met his eyes. "Do you realize that those women are being raped?"

Nick gaze didn't even waver. "No, they aren't. I'll admit, we're exploiting their instincts, but they only enter the arena if—"

Rage flared in Sasha's chest, and she was grateful for it. It made her feel stronger. "Cut the bullshit manipulation, Nick. You said you were an honest man."

Nick's eyes flared with anger and he raised an eyebrow, but started talking. "Those females you met? When we were trying to breed Zev, they were in the pool. They were desperate to make babies. Desperate, Sasha. Begging for it. Literally. They willingly came to the stables. They willingly entered the breeding arena with Zev. Because everything in them was driving them to it. Don't blame them, Sasha. But don't blame us, either. We did the right thing, keeping them out of the hands of other men. They would have bonded with whoever took them. And they would have offered themselves because their instincts told them that was the only way to build a family… We learned that the hard way."

When Sasha just stared at him, Nick shook his head. "Don't judge me, Sasha. We could have used that against them. You get that, right? What men will do when women offer themselves? We protected them from that. This is a piece of themselves that even they don't understand. When they were taken out of their natural environment, it changed how they reacted to the world. So we brought them here to keep them from putting themselves in a worse position."

Sasha stood up, toe-to-toe with him and didn't give him space. "I'm glad you're protecting your assets," she hissed. "But don't expect me to congratulate you on treating them "better" when you're the one who put them in that position in the first place."

They stared at each other for a long, cold second, then Nick's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. "I thought I understood why it was you, for Zev," he said quietly. "But I think I was wrong."

Sasha snorted. "If I'm certain of anything, Nick, it's that you're wrong. Very, very wrong."

She wasn't sure how she'd expected him to respond to that, but it wasn't with a loud, hearty laugh.