Ch. 361..370

Chapter 361

"You… what?!" Zev hissed.

Sasha's eyes were bright and color in her cheeks as they walked. She looked around, then leaned closer. "There's definitely no one close, right? No one will hear us?"

"No," he said, stunned. "Sash, tell me. How—"

"Listen, listen," she took his hand, squeezing it and walking quickly back towards the City. She was so excited and he wanted to be there with her, sharing that smile. But fear twisted in his gut. What had she been doing?

"You remember how you brought me through unconscious, so I'd never used the gateway, right?" she said quietly, peering around them at the trees like she'd see someone who might interrupt them.

"Yeah." Fuck, he'd been so scared that Nick would give her bad advice and she'd get lost… He shuddered and pushed the thoughts away. He needed to focus. "But, the females—"

"No, listen, I have to tell you the whole story so it makes sense: When Nick and I went through he gave me this little pep talk about the Gateway and how to get through it safely—and what the risks were, too, right? How, if you didn't focus it might spit you out in the wrong place."

"Yeah," Zev's head was spinning. What had she done?

"Well, I got there safely. But right at the beginning, when the bond broke, I got really scared and I almost came back to you, Zev. When my mind was flicking back and forth and I was trying to decide… the gateway kept showing me a different direction until I was sure where I wanted to go. It was scary, but nothing went wrong. I forgot about it for a while.

"Then I got to the compound and I saw how secure the whole place was, when I learned how the females had tried to escape and hadn't been able to, I was kind of despairing, you know? I didn't know they were going to send so many with me—and there's still even more there and I couldn't see any way to get them out. And then when they did agree to send some of them, their choices were really weird. I'm serious, Zev," she said, "I think they just gave us these females to soothe me—and you. But there's no one important here, have you noticed? None of the Alphas. None of the ones that you… mated with." She swallowed hard and looked away and Zev's breath whooshed out of him.

"Sasha—"

She shook her head, but she met his eyes again. "The ones they sent are all females who either don't know us or are just… not important to their cause. I think they sent the made ones because they can't breed, or something. I'm not sure. But I'm just convinced that it's an empty gesture, you know? These are Chimera they're willing to lose. It's the others that are valuable. We have to get them out. They're the ones that will actually hurt the Team."

"Okay, so… what does this have to do with your plan?"

Sasha bit her lip, her smile back and her eyes sparkling. "I figured out that we weren't going to get them out unless we could take them from the compound directly." Her throat bobbed and she lowered her voice. "Zev, I figured out I needed to get the Gateway to get places where the Gateway doesn't open or close."

"Wait, what?"

"I mean, Nick's warnings, right? You had to be careful what you focused on. What if that wasn't a warning because they didn't want to lose us, but because they didn't want us to figure out how to use it? I mean, it was just an idea, but I realized… or at least, I hoped…"

"What?"

She took a deep breath and stopped walking, taking both of Zev's hands in her own. "Zev, if the Gateway could spit you out in some place that you didn't plan to go, that meant that it had access to a ton of different places, right? And how could it send you where your heart wants to go unless it could go… anywhere?"

Zev's blood ran cold. What had she done? "Sash… you didn't?"

"It was a risk, I know," she hurried on, "But… I thought about it a lot while I was there. We needed a miracle, Zev. I was never going to get them all out of there without something bigger than the technology and security and… anyway, when we were coming back through to get back here, when I stepped in, I told the Gateway where I wanted to go… which was to a place where I could access the females without the humans knowing."

He could barely breathe. He stared at her in shock.

Sasha beamed. "It worked, Zev! The Gateway took me to Vayl—the Alpha of the females in the compound. To the camp, they have in the forest. Where most of the other females were!"

Zev just about fell over. "Are you serious?"

She nodded quickly.

"Then… why aren't they here?"

Sasha grimaced. "Well, that's the tricky part. The Gateway opened up in the air—I almost fell out when I reached the threshold. But I was able to talk to them, and get the Gateway to take me to three different groups of them! I told them I'd be coming back for them, not to give up hope. We just have to figure out how to keep the Gateway open and get them up to it when it opens like that, because it's too high to jump—"

A shudder rocked through Zev's entire body. "Sash, wait. You're saying… you told the Gateway to take you to different places. Places where it didn't have a grounded exit? It was just… open in mid-air?!"

"Yes! And it worked! Don't you see, Zev? We can save them! We can really save them!"

Zev slid his hands out of hers and clawed them both into his hair, staring at her wide-eyed. She was brilliant. She was incredible.

"You're a genius," he breathed.

Sasha smiled and hopped excitedly on the spot. "I know it's crazy, but I really think—"

"No, seriously, Sasha… you're amazing… and beautiful, and… SO FUCKING STUPID I WANT TO THROTTLE YOU RIGHT NOW!" he snarled, stepping into her with his teeth bared.

Sasha blinked and jerked her head back, her smile faltering. "Wait, what?"

 

Chapter 362

A small voice in the back of his head said maybe he was reacting a little stronger than was strictly needed, that maybe he was still a little tense from waking up without her. But as he descended on her and Sasha tipped her head, his chest constricted and his rage burned.

"You left to go with Nick of all people without even talking to me about it," he rasped. "You walked right into the lion's den, completely unprotected and without any insight or advice from me at all—and while I was hurt so I couldn't come for you.

"Then… when you're finally on your way home, almost safe, you leave Nick in the human world and walk into the gateway—that you've only used once and you're… using it like some supernatural taxi?!"

"It wasn't like that," Sasha snapped, folding her arms. "I wasn't playing for the thrill of it, Zev—"

"No, you were just embarking on a journey across UNKNOWN WORLDS by yourself and when no one—literally no one—knew where you were, or what you were doing. What if you'd gotten lost in the Gateway Sasha? What if you'd never come out. How do you think I would have felt?"

She blinked. "Zev, I wasn't—"

"What if it had dumped you out in the compound and you had fallen out—trapped right in their web, and no way for me to know—you would have handed yourself to them."

"I was really careful—"

"BULLSHIT, Sasha! Bullshit! You can't just… just treat yourself like you don't matter. You can't just walk into that kind of danger and think it doesn't affect us—affect me! You could have gotten yourself killed—a dozen different ways! You would have died and I never would have known—I would have died, you could have left all of Thana without the Alpha and fucking Nick standing here. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"I didn't make this choice lightly, Zev," she said through her teeth. "I needed to know—we needed to know. There was no other way—"

"The Gateway is here, Sash. It's here every day. You could have come asked us—what if we'd already known something that would have helped you know if you were safe or not? Or what if—"

"Clearly you didn't know this or someone would have come up with the idea already."

"That's not the point!"

"That's exactly the point!" she shouted, throwing her arms wide. "Zev, I didn't know what was going to happen when I got here. I didn't know if we could survive the bond getting broken again. I didn't know if Nick had something up his sleeve, or if there'd be something happening here that I would need to deal it—it was my one shot and I took it and it worked! I will not apologize for that. Do you realize what I'm saying, Zev? I can get them out. I can get all of them out—and I can get all of us out of here without the humans, too. All of us."

"You didn't have to do this on your own! You should have asked for help!"

Sasha gaped. "Are you serious? Did you really just say that? You, the guy who left me for FIVE YEARS without a word, 'for my own safety?" The one who was getting a serious infection on our Solitude and kept going anyway because you didn't want to worry me? Are you actually kidding me right now, Zev?"

"That's not the same thing," he muttered.

"I know you didn't just say that!" she spat. "It's exactly the same—I'm Alpha, I'm responsible just like you were when you were in a position to leave. I had no idea what was going to happen when we got here, or if I'd ever have another chance. And the only way those females are ever getting out of that hellhole is if we take them. This was the one chance to test the theory and I took it and I will not apologize for that."

He didn't even think about it. It was instinct to step in, stand over her, stop her in her tracks and put himself higher than her, his lip curling up to bare his teeth.

"You will never do that again. Ever!" he snarled, every ounce of his alpha authority behind the words.

Sasha shivered, but her eyes narrowed. "You did NOT just dominate me, Zev."

Zev blinked, then his eyes went wide. They stood on the trail, staring at each other and she was hopping mad, while he was… terrified.

Absolutely terrified.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… You can't do that to me, Sash," he breathed, his body beginning to tremble. "You can't leave me like that and just… you can't go and not tell me. You can't leave me alone without you—losing you that way… gah, even the thought makes me want to lose my mind!"

His breath started heaving, tearing in and out of his throat and he turned away from her, hands on his hips, trying to get his body to calm down. But his mind kept flashing with images of her tumbling out of a gateway high in the sky and falling to her death… or walking out into traumatized Chimera who attacked before they realized who she was.

"Zev?"

He shook his head, his back still to her. One of her hands appeared on his back.

"Zev, I didn't mean to scare you that way, but you can't dominate me."

"I know, I know. I… You can't do it, Sasha. You can't leave me again, or put yourself in danger like that. If I lose you…" He shuddered.

"Zev, I'm not leaving. Seriously, breathe. Just breathe. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going through again—not without you. I know that sounded scary, but I'm here, remember? It all worked out. We have answers now, and I'm safe. You are here to help me."

He opened his mouth, but then he caught footsteps approaching on the trail. Males. They'd be there within a couple minutes.

With a low groan, Zev grabbed her at the waist and pulled her off the trail and into the shadows of the trees.

"Zev! What—"

"Someone's coming," he muttered, pulling her deeper into the trees. "And I can't have this conversation with someone else listening. Please, Sash." His teeth chattered and she looked at him, shocked. But she stopped trying to fight him and followed, clinging to his arm instead, rubbing it and whispering that she wasn't going anywhere.

When he had her deep enough into the trees that he didn't think whoever was on the trail would hear them as long as they were quiet, he pulled her to a stop and held her there, his hands on her waist.

She put her hands to his upper arms and rubbed. "I'm sorry I scared you, Zev. Really. But you need to trust me. You have to know, I'd never do something like that without good reason. I never meant to scare you, okay?"

"You have to promise me," he ground out. "Promise you'll never do that again, or anything like it, without telling me first. Without letting me help, or find someone who can."

"Zev—"

"Promise me, Sasha!" he croaked, his eyes wide and pleading.

She shushed him quickly, then reached up to cup his face. "I'll never put myself in danger like that without telling you first," she whispered. "I promise."

Zev blew out a heavy breath and his shoulders sagged.

"Now you promise, too," she whispered. "We're in this together from this point on, right? Wherever I go, you go. Wherever you are, I am too. Promise me."

"I promise," he wheezed. "I promise, Sasha.

He had to hold her for several minutes before he stopped shaking though.

 

Chapter 363

It was awful seeing him so shaken. She shushed him and stroked his face while he breathed and tipped his forehead against hers. Zev fought with himself, she could feel it in the tension in his steel arms, and the way he pressed his body into hers.

He kissed her at one point and she pulled him in tight, hands in his hair, letting herself tease his lips and tongue, doing anything she could to reassure him that she was there—or to distract him if that would work.

Zev's breathing got louder and he walked her backward into one of the trees, leaning on the trunk, holding her chin, and delving into her mouth in ways that made her breath come faster too.

He was still trembling, but she could feel the tension easing slowly as she clawed her fingers down the back of his scalp, the kneaded his neck.

Zev broke the kiss but searched her eyes while she touched him. Then he made a delicious noise, deep in his throat, and pressed his hips into hers.

Sasha welcomed his kiss again, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and for a thrilling moment, she thought they might take advantage of the solitude.

He slid one hand under her shirt and found her breast, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger sending those jolts of electricity directly to the junction of her thighs. Sasha let her head fall back against the trunk of the tree and gazed at him—his strong shoulders, rippled with muscle, the tendons on the arm he had braced on the tree, his eyes that were less pinched caution now, and more crackling flames.

Stroking her fingers along the line of his jaw she sighed. "You really are stunning, Zev. I mean… beyond hot. I still wonder when you're going to wake up and realize you're way out of my league," she said with a grin to soften the words. She didn't doubt his heart—but she was so grateful that she didn't have to.

Zev growled and took her mouth again, pinning her bottom lip between his teeth and tugging before he let it go. "No more of that," he muttered. Then he tilted his head and pressed into her again, his magical fingers drawing her nipples to points and making twitchy jolts of electricity snap through her body.

But just as she sucked in a thrilled breath because he slid a hand down to cup her ass and pull her against him—where he was very clearly having ideas that didn't originate in his skull—he froze.

Sasha went still as well.

Zev pulled his head back, turning it slowly like he was scanning for something. Then suddenly he stepped away from her, took her hand, and pulled her deeper into the trees.

"Are they—" she whispered, but Zev shook his head and gestured for her to be quiet.

He pulled her between trees and pushed through underbrush, holding back branches when he passed through so they wouldn't snap back and whack her.

Then they reached another trail, one Sasha didn't think she'd been on before, and Zev relaxed, straightening from his hunch and walking down the trail briskly, still holding her hand.

Sasha waited, looking around, but she couldn't see anyone.

"Are we alone?"

Zev nodded. "I just needed a few minutes. This will take us to the city eventually, but it'll take a little longer."

Sasha pulled his arm to her chest and hugged it with her free hand. "I'm really sorry I scared you, Zev. I'll make sure and leave a note or wake you next time, okay?"

He nodded. "I know it's an overreaction, Sash. I know I freaked. But I just… you've been taken from me so many times I scares the shit out of me. My head doesn't work clearly when I think you're in danger."

"I get it," she said quietly, frowning at the dirt trail in front of them. "I'm the same. I mean, not exactly the same. But I dream sometimes that I wake up and you're gone again. Or that you just leave and I don't know, and then I can't find you. It's… it's scary."

"You dream like that too?"

"Sometimes. Not as often since we came here, actually. I used to have those dreams all the time, and every time it was like I lost you all over again. I just… it just killed me."

Zev nodded, his throat bobbing. "What did you do when that happened?"

"What could I do? I sat in the dark with my whole body freaking out and just breathed and prayed until I could relax and get back to sleep."

Zev nodded again like she'd explained something that made sense.

Sasha frowned. "What? What did you hear in that?"

Zev looked down at her surprised, his hand tightening on hers. "Nothing big. I just realized, of course it makes sense that God would help you. It's no wonder you're able to get back to sleep."

"Zev, God would help you too."

He snorted, but just looked away, like he was ashamed.

"Zev, I'm serious."

"I know you are. But that's because you're a good person—a whole person. So it makes sense you to that God would just be nice to people. But it doesn't work that way for everyone, Sash."

Sasha sighed. "Zev, you've got to stop making these assumptions about your soul, you don't have a clue—"

"Yes, I do," he said easily, though he wasn't smiling. "Did you know there are books from back in the bible times—the old stuff—that talk about people like me? Experiments and magic and… I mean, sure they didn't have technology, but they did this stuff even back then. You know that right? I'm not pulling this out of my ass, Sasha. I'm damned. The Chimera are damned."

"On what basis?"

"On the basis that we were never meant to exist. That we fall outside of… intended Creation. We're products of evil." He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm kind of used to the idea now. But I think… I think that whole picture just makes me panic when I think I'm losing you, you know? I have to make the most out of this life. And… fuck I hope you're enough for our kids, Sasha. I hope they get their soul from you."

 

Chapter 364

Zev looked back as Sasha shook her head and dragged him to a halt on the trail. They stopped, looking at each other.

"That's enough," she said, though her voice was gentle if disapproving.

"Sash, I'm not trying to—"

"I know you're not, but I'm refuse to let you think you have to… what… stay alive as long as you can because it's just burning hell from there?"

Zev took a deep breath. He didn't answer, because he didn't want to say yes. But the truth was, he'd seen enough in those books—and in the things he'd learned and seen about what people like Nick and Nathan could do in this world to know that those old histories were absolutely real.

Sorcery, they called it back then.

Science, they called it now.

They still didn't understand it, but the results were the same. Things. Creatures. Some accidents, some failures, some triumphs. But always an element of something that could never be explained.

No matter how deep they dug, no matter how microscopic the measurement, no matter how much money, time, and intelligence they plugged into this venture, one thing never changed: Science couldn't make life. Science could only mix the elements needed for life to exist.

Nick had explained to him more than once. That they provide the same environment, the same resources, and the same fuel every time, but every time they watched cells replicate, they could never be entirely certain what was coming out of it.

"It's magic, Zev," Nick had said one day a couple of years ago when they'd been at the lab. Zev was feeling sick about the mating arena so Nick had taken him inside the labs to distract him.

His surrogate father's eyes had been bright and his tone on the edge of excitement. He was fascinated by these experiments and would talk about them any moment he could.

Zev wasn't allowed to touch anything, but he remembered being sickened at the sight of a half-gestated Chimera.

Nick had joked that they all looked like aliens at that age—that even a human baby was still strange, almost unrecognizable at that point in the process. "But look, in a few months, that's going to be a wolf. Or a goat, I can't remember which round they're doing right now. The point is… we did exactly the same thing with the stuff that made that one, that we did with you. And yet… look at you."

Nick had gazed at him then with something like pride on his face.

Zev had felt simultaneously like he wanted to preen, and vomit.

But Nick just slapped him on the back and ushered him down the aisle between all the little incubators they used. "Every single one of these has the potential to be a true sibling to you, Zev," he said with a wink. "I mean, not DNA sibling but… your match. Your equal. And the day that happens? I swear, the heavens will open."

Zev had snorted.

"It was a metaphor," Nick said, rolling his eyes. "My point is… miracles happen here every day. Magic. And people think it doesn't even exist."

Nick had been excited by the idea, but to Zev, it wanted to make him squirm. They were messing with the natural order of things. Nick was right that it was a miracle—the things they created could never happen in nature.

The difference between them was that that idea turned Zev's stomach, while it made Nick look like a kid at a candy store.

"Zev?" Sasha said uncertainly.

Zev blinked and realized he'd been lost in his memories. "Sorry," he said quickly. "I was just… remembering some stuff."

"Like what?" she asked quietly.

They started walking again and Zev tugged her into his side and put his arm over her shoulder. If he'd wanted to move faster he would have picked her up and carried her, but the truth was, he wanted the time.

"Magic," he said quietly.

"It's not magic, Zev. It's God. I think… I think you can't be alive unless He lets you. So that must mean he has a purpose for you, right?"

"Oh, he's got a purpose alright," Zev said, scratching the back of his neck. "A vessel of wrath. Nick used to throw that at me when I was thirteen and being an ass. How I needed to listen to him and do what I was told, or I was going to get myself killed, and then there'd only be hell left.

Sasha cursed. "Sometimes I seriously want to murder that man. Like, I actually want to kill him."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm serious, Zev. I don't like that he makes me so angry, but he and Nathan… I think I could slit Nathan's throat without regretting it."

"I'll hold while you cut," Zev said darkly.

Sasha shuddered. "This isn't what I want our lives to be about, Zev."

"I don't think I have any choice."

"But see, that's what bothers me. If you just assume that you'll never look into it and then you'll never know."

"Sash, if God was sending people to hell just for having sex a few thousand years ago, I think I've got all the deadly sins covered at this point, don't you?"

She frowned up at him, then looked away. "I don't know what to say. I don't have the answers… I just have this… certainty, that you aren't right."

"That's because you love me," Zev said pulling her closer to his side. "Because you have a good heart and you see the good in others."

"But… Zev… I'm not just seeing good in you because I love you. You ARE good. You give yourself up for other people. You're caring, and thoughtful, and—"

"And the whole reason that we have dozens of traumatized females in the City, and a hundred or more still in the compound. Did I tell you that they think I'm the reason they were called over there?"

"Wait… what?"

"One of the females who came through had a freak out when she got here and pleaded with me not to send them back. To let them stay this time."

Sasha's jaw dropped. "Are you serious? Is that how the humans got them to go?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

"Leave that to me," Sasha said, snuggling into his side. "I'll ask them. I know at least some of them will tell me."

They walked on in silence after that until Sasha sighed.

"You're not damned, Zev. I can prove it."

"How's that?" he asked, trying to keep the desperation from his voice.

She turned and smiled up at him. "Because if you were nothing more than a product of evil, you'd do evil. And you don't. And on top of that, you say God loves me—and I love you. We're mates, right? Even though everything went wrong—even though so much tried to stop us. It's that magic you're talking about. We shouldn't be here, yet we are. So I think that's a really good sign that we were supposed to be here, right here, so I could tell you… you aren't damned. Not yet, anyway," she giggled.

Zev tried to laugh it off with her, but he struggled against the combined rush of hope at what she was describing, and fear that this life with her was going to pass far too quickly and then they'd find out she was wrong.

They were Ardent. Whatever happened to her, happened to him, and visa versa.

He just prayed they wouldn't both regret that.

 

Chapter 365

They continued talking as they walked. It was a longer route to the City, and even though Sasha could feel the weight of responsibility—she should have been with the females by now. They'd be awake and probably scared—she didn't hurry. There was something necessary about being close to Zev and alone, talking at a time they didn't have to worry about being overheard.

"Maybe we need to start doing this every day," she said a few minutes later. "Like, just go for a walk. By ourselves. Because I feel saner now than I have in weeks, Zev."

"It's not a bad idea," he said. "And on a practical level, it will give us time to talk about things that have to be done and make plans. I mean… we're going to do that right? Get everyone out of here. What you're saying is that it worked, right?"

His brows pinched together and that dark cloud passed behind his eyes again, but he pushed past it.

"Yes," Sasha said when she was sure he could hear it without being angry. "I'm saying that we can start planning and… we'll get them all out. And then we'll go through the Gateway for the last time."

"Wait, what do you mean?"

Sasha sucked in a deep breath. "I didn't have time to tell you, we got distracted. At the end, before I came back, I…. I asked the Gateway to take me to a place where the humans could never reach us. And… Zev… it did."

"Wait, what?!"

Sasha nodded quickly, biting her lip to stop herself from beaming. "It opened in the air again—another place that there isn't an exit, obviously. But the point is… there's a place. I asked for a place we could be safe and never have interference from humans ever again, and there's a place, Zev. And what little I saw of it was beautiful."

Zev shook his head. She could see his hope and awe doing battle with his fear, so she hugged his arm again.

"This is really good news, Zev. Seriously. We're going to do this! But we have to be organized about it. We have to send any of the creatures through that want to go. I mean, the humans aren't really interested in them, right? So they can start going today if they want to! But to get the females out of the compound… we're going to have to be really organized. Collect them all and take them directly to this place. We can't afford to risk bringing them back here and having something happen to them before we can get them through. I know it'll be scary for them—especially going by how these females have behaved. But… I mean… it's worth it, right? If we get organized and take stuff with us and… Zev, I really think we can do this."

Zev shook his head. "You're amazing, Sash," he said quietly.

"No, Zev. I'm just looking at this from a different angle, that's all. Or maybe God's whispering in my ear. Who knows? The point is, we can do this. But we have to plan. We have to convince the humans nothing is going on—Nick can't get a whiff of this!—and then when the time is right… boom. We take all of them and we get out of here and then we're free!"

She did a little hop and clapped a hand on his bicep. "I can't wait, Zev. It's going to be amazing."

"I hope so," he said, less certain that she was. But that was understandable. He hadn't seen the gateway open and seen that beautiful place.

She wondered where it was? Somewhere there were no humans, anyway. She was sure of that much.

"Okay," Zev said a minute later. "What's the next step, then, Sasha-don?" He said it with a smile, but she could feel that he was still a little shaky.

"The first thing is to get the Creatures gathered together and tell them all what's going on, and how to get through. Let any of them go that want to… do you think Yhet would want to go with them, or with us?"

"Definitely with you," Zev chuckled. "He's completely obsessed with you, Sasha. When I came through to make sure the bond wasn't broken, he wanted to come with me."

Sasha gasped, then clapped a hand to her mouth. "I'm so glad he didn't—that would have been awkward!" she giggled.

Zev laughed. "Not for a Chimera, but maybe for you!"

"Oh, gross!"

Zev kept laughing, and it was the most beautiful sound. When they settled down, Sasha sighed. "So, how do we get them together? I really want to tell them myself. Make sure I can answer any questions, and… well, make sure the word isn't going to get out. Can we trust them? From what Minos said, it sounded like a lot of them don't really want to be close to the rest of us."

"I promise, they have even less desire to be close to the humans. But yeah, we are going to have to think about how to get them all together and where. I think you're going to have to leave the city for that one. Most of them won't even come within miles of anywhere the humans know about."

Sasha grimaced. "Where would it be safe to do it?"

Zev thought about it for a moment, then suddenly smiled. "You know, I think that valley, where we met Minos, would work. There's a river there for the water creatures, plenty of forest cover, and the mountains… the humans never venture that deeply into Thana that I'm aware of. And we could set guards."

Sasha's heart beat a little faster. "Do you think we could visit Yhet's cave again?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"I think if we give it a week or so, so everyone's settled… yeah. I mean, we'd probably need that long to make sure we've gotten in touch with everyone anyway. And once we left we'd only be a few hours away. They could send an Owl if anything happened. And frankly, I think you'd be safer out there with me than here with Nick," he grumbled.

Sasha rubbed his arm. "Then let's do it. Please, Zev. I'd love to go back there—if you think it won't upset Yhet."

"It won't," he said with a gentle smile. "I'll tell Skhal and the hunters to start spreading the word today. The Alpha wants to have a meeting with the creatures, to establish some lines of communication and provide some very important… er… insight into the humans. We'll make it sound very official."

Sasha clapped her hands. "Now, if only we could take Nick there without him hearing a damn thing, but seeing everyone so he can shit himself this time," she said with a gleeful giggle.

Zev's laughter bounces off the forest around them. "Too risky, but you're right, that would be awesome."

"Gosh, Zev… I feel so much hope now!" Sasha said, dancing along the trail, holding onto his arm. "We're going to do this. We're really going to do it!"

"I hope so, Sash. And if we do… it's all you, babe. You're amazing." He leaned down and kissed her as they walked.

Sasha's heart soared.

 

Chapter 366

Hours later, back in the City, Sasha sat in the hall with the females.

She'd been overjoyed to find that two or three had left the hall to seek out family or friends during the night. Though most of the females were still in the communal space, Sasha couldn't help feeling that things were looking so positive and bright. It was probably a good thing she'd learned that after she spoke to Nick that morning. Her buoyancy would have made him suspicious, she was sure.

She kept having to stifle it when she spoke with the females who were still frightened. She didn't want them to think that she didn't care.

The thought made her turn and look for Mae again, who was sitting next to the window, peering through a gap between the hides, obviously looking for someone in the Courtyard outside.

Sasha approached slowly, but when Mae saw her coming, she took her hands from the edge of the hide and turned, trying to force a smile.

"You don't need to stop for me," Sasha said, rubbing her back. "Do whatever you want. I'm just glad you're here. Have you been down the stairs yet?"

Mae shook her head, but her eyes stayed past Sasha towards the door at the end of the hall and the stairway behind it.

Sasha watched her, her heart squeezing at the pining on Mae's face. Yet the female didn't move. Didn't even look like she was trying.

She looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, then leaned into May. "I don't want to pry, Mae. For real. But if you want to see him, I'd be happy to go find him and bring him to the bottom of the stairs, just to say hello?"

Mae shook her head, tears squeezing out between her lashes to roll down her cheeks.

Sasha clucked and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push. I don't want to scare you. I know you've all been through terrible pain. I'm sure he'll wait to see you—"

"No, no, it's not that," Mae said, pulling out of her arms to straighten and wipe her eyes. "He's my mate, I know he wouldn't hurt me. I'm not scared of him, Sasha-don. I'm… I'm afraid of his rejection. How he might react when he learns…"

Sasha waited, but Mae's forehead furrowed and she looked down at her hands, wringing them against her stomach.

"React to what, Mae?" she asked quietly.

Mae closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I can't have offspring anymore," she said in a tired, grieving voice. Her brows pinching together. "It was the one thing we both wanted. The reason we decided to mate so young. But I didn't get pregnant those first couple months and then… then I went, and now I can't and he's going to be so…"

"Oh, Mae… He can't be angry with you for something you have no control over!" Sasha whispered, horrified.

Mae shook her head. "He won't be angry. He'll be…devastated. He'll wish he'd never mated me. And I can't… after all this, I can't see that in his eyes. It would break me."

"Mae, no! It's not your fault! He won't reject you—"

"You aren't Chimera, Sasha. You don't understand. He won't be angry, but he will be upset. And… and it is my fault that I submitted and I went. They… they ruined me, but I gave them the chance to do it!" she wailed.

Sasha sat with her, holding her hand while the female cried. She struggled with feelings of guilt—after all, she was looking forward to having babies with Zev… as soon as she could be sure they'd keep them out of human hands.

That was a point! She made a mental note, that they needed to get out of here before her next cycle. Just in case.

Four weeks, she told herself. Twenty-six days, to be precise. Because those sickos were following her cycle. They needed to get out of here before they did anything else to interfere.

There was no way on God's green earth that she was letting those men have anything to do with her child.

She shuddered at the thought but forced herself to turn back to Mae.

Would talking to Kyelle help? According to Zev, and the few little hints that Kyelle had dropped with her, it sounded like Kyelle had grief around this as well.

But surely the males didn't really reject them because of this?

She made another mental note to ask Kyelle to come speak with Mae at some point—at the very least the two shared an experience. That was always bonding for females. Even if Kyelle didn't have advice, at least neither of them would feel like they were alone.

When Mae was back under control, Sasha tried again. "What about if I told him for you?" she said hesitantly. "Gave him a warning, so you could talk to him without having to see that… initial shock? I'm sure if we told him, he'd come talk to you after he's had time to think about it. He was so heartbroken yesterday, Mae. He loves you! You're mates! I know Zev would still love me if I couldn't—"

"You're ardent, though, right?" Mae said, her voice resigned and thick with tears. "It's different. We formed the bond because we chose each other. We got to know each other. We grew together. We were… were going to be happy, but now… I don't know."

"I know… I know it's a change to your future. I wish… I wish there was a way we could change it," Sasha whispered. "But I also know—I'm confident—that he loves you and he wouldn't want you here crying over this by yourself, Mae. I'd hate to think of Zev carrying a burden like that by himself.

"I know. I know. He's kind. He would be kind. But that's… that's part of why I can't, Sasha-don. He'll… pity me. And then I won't have anything left." Her voice climbed to a weep and Sasha's heart broke for her all over again.

"Okay, Mae, okay. I'll stop trying to help. I'm sorry. Please don't cry. Just… if you want help at any time, just know I'll help you, okay? I just hate to see you like this."

The female nodded and they hugged. But inside Sasha was cursing the men who'd changed these poor women's lives in such horrific ways.

She was going to make them pay for this. Once and for all.

 

Chapter 367

Zev reached the cookfires earlier than Sasha and he waited, constantly scanning all the entrances to the clearing, staying on his feet because he had too much energy.

He hadn't seen Sasha for hours, and even though he knew she was safe—he'd been able to smell her track up to the females, and no trail coming down—he wasn't going to rest until she was there in front of him and he could touch her.

Waking up that morning without her, with the faint scent of Nick in his nostrils, had been even more unsettling than he'd realized. He'd been jumpy and short-tempered all day, until even Jhon told him to go get some sleep or something, and get himself under control.

He'd had to shift and go for a run, look for Skhal and deliver Sasha's exciting message, just to get himself moving so his skin would stop itching with tension.

Dunken had looked at him worriedly more than once since he'd come to the cook clearing, but he hadn't said anything, for which Zev was grateful.

A burst of laughter sounded over near the other fire and Zev startled but turned and shared smiles with a couple of the males over at the table. One of them beckoned him over and he want, just for something to put his mind on.

Was Sasha going to skip dinner again? Should he take her some food?

When he joined the table, the males were mostly laughing and excited—even with the females keeping mostly to themselves, the male's moods were all lifted by the sheer fact that they were near and could be scented. But they had questions, too.

"I heard that a couple of them came out overnight—did they have mates, or were they just joining their family?"

"I don't know," Zev answered apologetically. "But I'm sure Sasha will. I'll ask her when she gets here—"

"There were scents in the group I didn't recognize. New females. Will we get to meet them soon? Are they staying?"

"Yes, I'm sure they'll stay. But at least a couple of the made females are probably going to have a lot of adjustment, so be patient—"

"How did she do it, Zev? How did she convince them?"

Zev shrugged and gave a small laugh. "I really don't know. I just know she's amazing and—"

"And it's embarrassing when you talk about me when I'm not here," a quiet voice said from behind him.

Zev whirled. Why hadn't he scented her? But the wind was flowing in the wrong direction.

"Sash!" he pulled her into a hug like they'd been apart for days. She laughed and made light of it in front of the other males, but her eyes kept straying to his, concern and questions painted in them.

"I need to talk to you. I'm—" She cut herself off from apologizing and Zev smiled, nodding. She was learning.

"Of course," he said, leaning down to brush a kiss on her lips. "The company here stinks anyway."

The males gave a rousing chorus of protests, but their shouts of mock indignation soon turned to shouted insults at each other, and laughter. So Zev followed Sasha out of the clearing and back into the City proper.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quickly when her shoulders slumped.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she said, emphasizing the "I'm." "I'm just worried about Mae and the other females."

They walked on a few more steps, then Sasha, as if she'd made a decision, took his hand and led him through the Courtyard towards the main building, then up the stairs, and finally to their bed-chamber.

Zev's brows went up—was she going to suggest—?

But no, she closed the door behind them then turned to him, her face a pained mask.

"What is it?" he asked quickly.

"I'm really fine," she said flapping her hand. "I just… I need you to tell me something, and answer honestly. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear, okay?"

"I… sure. What is it?" he said, nerves trilling in his stomach.

Sasha took a deep breath. "Is it true that Chimeran males would reject their mates if it turns out that she can't have offspring?" Sasha folded her arms after she presented the question as if she was afraid of his answer and thought she needed a shield.

Zev's brows popped up. "What brought this up? Just because you weren't pregnant? Sasha, it can take months, years even—"

"No, no, this really isn't about me. I know you'd never leave me, Zev," she said, though her eyes did look a little less tight. "Poor Mae… the reason she ran from her mate last night is because she's convinced that when he learns she can't have offspring, he's going to reject her. And I just… it just kills me to think that. Because look at Kyelle. I'm sure there's going to be others because of what these sick fucks have done. And I need to know how the males are going to react? Because I don't want to encourage these women—who are already broken—into the arms of males that are going to break them further when they learn the truth. So, tell me, Zev…. Do Chimeran males reject females who can't have babies?"

Zev blew out a breath and raked a hand through his hair. "In a general sense… if it was known that a female was barren… I mean, yes, probably. Unless there was a Heart's Song between them, chances are most males would pass her up to choose someone who could bear them children."

"Bastards," Sasha snarled. "Seriously?"

"It's in our nature, Sash. A part of our animal instincts—we choose the best mate we can find for breeding."

"Except you," she said bitterly.

Zev frowned. "Sash, do we need to talk about—"

"No. No, I won't get distracted. I just… these poor women, Zev. They're gone three years, then they come back to their mates and their mates won't take them now?!"

She looked… angry and frightened and… what was going on?

 

Chapter 368

"No, Sash, that's not what I said!" Zev hurried to correct himself. "I was talking about an unmated female. If it's known that she can't have a family, her pool of potential mates is going to be a lot smaller." His mind turned to Kyelle and everything she'd been through—and now, poor Lhars. He wondered how his brother felt about not having offspring? "But if a pair is already mated… I can't imagine any male that would reject his mate over this. He might be disappointed, but the bond is there."

"So he'd stay, just because of the bond?" Sasha said through her teeth.

"No," Zev said, worried. He lowered his voice. "Sasha, I think we need to discuss—"

"I'm not asking about us!" she snapped. Then she stopped herself and blew out a breath. Zev stepped over to where she was standing at the end of the bed, her arms folded.

"Babe, what's going on?"

"Nothing. For real. I'm just tired and sad and… now I'm learning that Chimeran males would reject their mates. It just—"

"No, Sash, that's the thing I was trying to say. Once the bond is formed and they're together, I can't see any male abandoning his mate, even if it means they'll never have offspring. No Chimera is going to leave his mate and go looking for another. I don't think any would even want to. I don't think they could!"

"Xar did."

Zev growled. "Xar was out of his mind and his mate has been dead for years. He was… that was a power play, not a desire for you." But he didn't appreciate the reminder.

Sasha scowled and began to pace the floor. "Poor Mae is up there, trying to catch sight or smell of her mate, but if he showed up, she'd flee. She's convinced that he would be kind to her but that he'd be so upset to learn that she can no longer have offspring, that he'd wish he hadn't mated her."

"I can't see that," Zev said, shaking his head. "I think… I really don't think that's true. The bond is… well, c'mon, Sash, you know. The bond is about so much more than that."

"Yes, but when I said that—when I said that I knew you wouldn't leave me for that, she said it's because we're ardent. Is that true? Is our bond different in that way? Does it make you blind to things that would have broken us up?"

"No! Sasha…. Please, babe. Don't think things like that. I've been waiting all afternoon for you to get free and come find me. I've been aching for you. Please… I'm never leaving—for goodness sake, this morning I made you vow never to leave me!"

"I know, I know," she said, flapping at hand and shaking her head. "I know. It's just… things like this make me so aware of how different we are—and how easily I could make a misstep and tell someone the wrong thing and completely screw all of this up. I was just starting to get comfortable—I'm excited, Zev! I really think we're going to get everyone out of here! But I just… it just hit me again. I know jack shit about this place and these people and… what if the reason we don't get out is because I'm just ignorant, or stupid?"

"Sasha," Zev said, walking over to gather her into his arms, "you've singlehandedly brought us closer to being free of the humans than any Alpha ever has. I am… stunned at what you've accomplished. Whatever's gotten in your head, don't let it stay there. You're doing amazing. I caught how you gave an instruction back there at the cookfires. You didn't ask or apologize. You're doing great."

She gave an awkward smile, but let herself relax into his chest, and Zev finally breathed a little easier.

"Stop worrying," he whispered into her hair. "No matter what happens, we'll deal with it. And no matter how long it takes for the females to feel comfortable and become part of the clans again… we'll wait. I'm just so grateful that you're here and safe and… shit."

He froze.

"What is it?" She pulled back from his chest to stare up at him.

"We have the meeting with the Alphas. I was going to suggest another bath," he said, winking. "But I forgot, the Alphas need to hear from you, Sash, about what you did and what you learned. And your plan—even if you don't tell them the specifics. They need to know that you're staying true to your plan to get us all out from under human rule. Plus, I think they need more caution about the females too. I broke up several conversations with males today who were talking about walking up to see the females. I think even after last night they don't really realize just how bad it was. You need to tell them."

Sasha nodded, but her sigh was heavy.

"Don't worry," he whispered in her ear, then kissed her neck. "We'll go right after dinner, then we'll be back in a couple of hours and we can take the rest of the night for ourselves."

Sasha groaned. "I'd love to do that," she said. "But I feel like I should—"

"Speaking as one Alpha to another," Zev said, one eyebrow up, "I seem to remember someone telling me that I needed to take care of myself first before I could take care of others?"

She looked up at him, and for the first time, one side of her mouth tipped up in a smile.

"So, you're telling me, that going to bed with my mate is taking care of myself?" she asked slyly.

Zev gave her the easy smile and nodded. "Because I'll take very, very good care of you," he said, his voice a low growl as he leaned down to lay his lips on her neck again.

Sasha sighed again, but happily this time. "Do you promise?"

"I promise."

 

Chapter 369 .

Sasha sat in the circle of Alphas. They'd gathered in a clearing in the forest to make certain no one would overhear. Even though Sasha didn't plan to tell them how they were going to bring the females back, she found she was becoming paranoid about information getting to Nick.

She also didn't want the females hearing her speak about the issues they were facing with re-integrating. While she was wholly empathetic with them, she needed to discuss them frankly, and give the males some serious instructions about how to approach them.

Despite warnings, males were beginning to show up at the hall and try to speak to females. It didn't help that they still had only a handful of females available to help, so most of the food, clothing, and resources were brought by males.

But she'd found the Alphas far more open than she'd expected, and Kyelle was backing her on all the issues around the females. Zev might have been right. They might get out of here in a couple of hours.

"…I did attempt to bring all the females back," she told them earnestly. "But honestly, I'm surprised I got as many as I did. And given the challenges they're facing, perhaps it's for the best that we didn't get all of them at one time. We'll need time and space to help more assimilate. Plus, we're learning things from this group that we'll be able to use in the future to help the others more quickly."

Kyelle jumped in then to explain that many of the females had been violated by human males in some way—most for medical experiments against their will, or being imprisoned. While most hadn't been violated sexually, their trust for anyone or anything who smelled male had been eroded.

"We do have all but one of them here from the village now, though and we see them getting braver and branching out. I think we'll see several more leaving the hall in the next few days," the owl said carefully.

Several of the males spoke up about those in their clans wanting to know who exactly was there, to check for mates or close friends and family. Kyelle and Sasha assured them no one had been hidden.

"You have to impress on the males that the more they try to force their way in, or the more pressure they apply, the harder it is for the females," Sasha said with a sad shake of her head. "I know it's frustrating when they're so excited to see them. But if they aren't careful they'll actually increase the time it takes for the females to settle."

The conversation shifted soon after that to the wider plan and Sasha's excitement grew. "Zev and I are working on a way to free the Chimera from all human rule. But it is going to take some careful strategy, and possibly a relocation."

The Alphas shifted in their seats and looked at each other.

"Relocation to the human world?!"

"No, no, of course not. I can't really be certain where it will be yet, but… I believe I have a plan that will allow us to step out of the reach of the humans. And if I'm right, we may need to move quickly. You should be preparing your people. Everyone should have a basic bag packed at all times—just in case we have to make the call suddenly."

"How will we move? Even deeper in Thana, the humans can still find us with their technology!"

"Not if she's found a way to block them from coming through."

"Then why would we need to relocate?"

Voices rose and Sasha opened her mouth to shout over them, but caught a look from Zev.

The Alpha doesn't need to force themselves on others, he said gently in her head. Just watch them and remain quiet, they'll notice quickly.

She did as he asked, and sure enough within a minute all the males had quieted and turned to look at her, expectant.

"I can't give you all the answers right now," she said simply. "But I am asking you to trust both me and Zev, and to trust that our goal is to reach the point where we, as a people, are entirely independent of the humans. I envision a life where there is no overlying stress. There is no question of our people or our children being removed from us. No one will have to live with the weight of that fear any longer. And I cannot take any steps that might threaten that. So, please, hold your tongues. Encourage your people to be ready to move when they are called to it. And in the meantime, let your hearts be hopeful because I truly believe we're going to get there.

"To that end," she went on, before any of them could raise more fears and get everyone unsettled again, "It's very important that we both keep Nick completely happy and unsuspicious, but also allow him no freedom. He must see different males every day—as if they're all nearby, but not revealing themselves. He's never been to Thana, so his understanding of the daily function here is… vague at best."

"We've told him that the Chimera spend most of their time hunting," Zev said, with a grin. "He believes most of us aren't actually in the village during the day. Which is true. Just not for the reason he thinks."

Sasha smiled to herself. Nick getting a taste of his own medicine.

"Our goal is to keep him reporting to the humans in such a way that they won't interfere, but allow us the freedom to plan, get the other females back, and get us all to the safe place within the month."

A ripple of surprise murmured through the circle of males, but Sasha just kept going. "Until we can do that, all Chimera should try to live as normally as possible, but give no information to Nick beyond daily, simple things. No strategy. No insight about what we're doing or planning."

"You say that you want to free us from human rule, Sasha-don, but… you brought the human male with you. You are human."

A murmur of agreement rose behind Gheet, who fixed his eyes on Sasha and didn't look away.

 

Chapter 370

Sasha's lips thinned. Before she could open her mouth, Zev spoke up.

"You all know that Sasha is my mate—my Ardent mate. As such, she isn't a normal human. She has been accepted by the wolves. She is Alpha. That means she is as Chimera as can be."

"She's also proven that she works for our good by bringing the females back," Kyelle offered.

"Something Xar was never able to do," Lhars added darkly.

There was some grumbling, but no other protests were raised by the other Alphas and in her head, Zev suggested Sasha just move on.

"Okay, so we'll keep Nick at the village and agree none of us will allow him to see what we're doing. But this means continuing the patrols and males coming and going from the village. As the females become more comfortable, we may begin to include some of them that want to. But none of them will be forced."

"He's going to notice if he doesn't see any of the females," the Tiger Alpha pointed out.

"I'm telling him straight that the females can't stand to be around him because of their fears of being returned. That we're keeping them away from him on purpose. So far, he's been okay with that. I imagine it will be a problem later if he doesn't start to see them. But for now, he's not protesting.

"If anything significant occurs that needs the female presence, Kyelle and I will work with the females to see if any of them are brave enough to be involved. But we'll do that when it's needed and not before. For now, please allow the females to keep things as they are."

There was further discussion of details and boundaries, and Sasha found herself feeling confident for the first time with the Alphas. It was clear that bringing the females back to Thana—as Zev had told them she would—had raised her in their esteem.

And the fact that she'd stopped apologizing for everything first probably helped as well, she thought dryly.

When they were finally breaking up, Sasha got to her feet and dusted off her ass, her heart buoyed. Although the males had pushed back at times, there was a general feeling of good among them—as if they were pleased, and that pleased Sasha.

She waited, receiving their submissions and individual questions as they began to scatter, until finally only she and Zev, Lhars, and Kyelle were left.

She turned to find Zev and Lhars leaning into each other, discussing something with serious looks on their faces, while Kyelle was moving towards Sasha. Sasha didn't miss that while Lhars spoke to Zev, his eyes followed Kyelle's back.

"Are you well, Sasha-don?" Kyelle said quietly. "It's been a difficult time. I'm sorry I haven't been near to offer more support."

"Are you kidding?" Sasha snorted. "Being able to trust you with the females… gosh, it's the most practical help I've had since I got back. Such a relief, Kyelle. Thank you."

The woman nodded once, then looked over her shoulder at the brothers. "It's nice to see them getting along. It's been many years."

Sasha followed her gaze and smiled softly. She'd seen the tension between the brothers when she arrived, but she hadn't thought about what a change this would be from years of conflict and adversarial poking.

"I'm really glad they have each other," Sasha said, then looked at Kyelle, who was frowning slightly, a line pinched between her brows as if she was trying to work something out. "How were things while I was gone?" Sasha asked casually, watching Kyelle's face for clues. "Lhars obviously did a good job of helping keep Zev in line. He only snuck out once."

Kyelle snorted. "Skhal just about put him back in the medical building when he woke up from that."

Sasha giggled. "I shouldn't laugh. I was very angry that he took such a risk."

Kyelle shrugged. "Males. Sometimes they need to take action even when the action is foolish. I have learned to just leave them. They are… often more capable than I would believe. Or perhaps the Creator simply protects them. I do not know."

It was a nice thought, Sasha realized. "Guardian angels for Chimeran males… I like that."

Kyelle frowned. "Guardian… angels?"

"You don't have angels in your history?"

"They are… messengers from God, yes?"

"Yes."

"But you say they watch over you?"

"That's the tale. That God has a supernatural family, as well as the physical one. And that He sends certain warriors to watch over us and help us avoid disaster. Perhaps that's what you've observed. When I think about it, I saw the same thing in my father and friends in my world too. I should have thought of it more deeply."

Sasha was half-joking, though it was an interesting point. But Kyelle's frown deepened. "But what happens to those who don't serve the Creator, or who… don't believe?"

"I don't know," Sasha replied. "But I have a hunch just the fact that we're talking about it is a good thing. Maybe we'll wake them up and bring them with us in this." Then she raised her voice, "Maybe we can ask them to watch over the brothers so we can leave and go get some rest?"

Lhars and Zev both looked up, Zev's eyes immediately finding hers and locking—that slow, lopsided smile that made her stomach flip, creeping up on his face.

"You're ready for some rest, Sasha?" he said quietly.

Lhars rolled his eyes. "Always a one-track mind, brother."

Without thought, Sasha looked at Kyelle to catch her response to Lhars. But the female was frowning at her own hands.

"I think we're all ready for some rest," she said to Zev, but in her mind, she told him, You promised it would be just you and me tonight.

That I did, he replied, then clapped Lhars on the back. "The Alphas are tired. Let us all go rest and be ready to meet the new day!"

Lhars was still rolling his eyes and Kyelle looked a little disturbed, but Lhars followed her out of the clearing and up onto the trail while Zev stopped in front of Sasha, his hands on her hips.

He's just jealous, he said in her head with a flashing grin.

I'm pretty confident Lhars has zero interest in me, it's that beautiful owl he's aching for.

Zev shrugged. Well, I always did say he was a fool.

Sasha laughed and hugged him. Zev curled himself around her and whispered, "Let's go. I promised you a night to ourselves, and I'm a male of my word."