Ch. 421..430

Chapter 421

The run to the city seemed to take forever. Traveling on Zev was always so much faster than when she had to walk. Yet this time it seemed like pouring honey, every step in slow-motion. Probably because her heart was pounding and her mind spinning a mile a minute. It felt like they were running to catch a something falling—and they couldn't know if they'd make it, or be destroyed.

What was Nick bringing them? News that would help them? Or a plot to betray them? She couldn't know.

Her head buzzed with questions and fears, and her body was so tense it hurt. She kept forcing the muscles in her back and neck to relax. Or trying to, anyway. But as soon as she stopped thinking about them they would tense again.

Are you okay? Zev asked in her head.

Just tense. Do you trust Nick? I mean, could this all be a setup? Or do you think he's running ahead of the team to warn us?

It's impossible to know with him, Zev said, his voice flat and dark. If he has a reason to think it's better to play into Nathan's hand, he'll do it. But if he doesn't… he'll help us.

Can you tell when he's lying?

Most of the time. When it's something this big, he's more guarded, so… I think so, but I won't know for sure until we talk to him.

You tell me the minute you're sure.

I will. Of course I will.

Zev ran on for another minute without speaking, Sasha clinging to his back. She was getting better at moving with him as he ran so she didn't jolt on his back so much. But that didn't mean she was easy for him to carry.

You must be exhausted, she murmured into his head, feeling sad for him. Sasha was utterly worn out. She'd only gotten a couple of hours of sleep the night before, and she'd been on her feet most of the day. She couldn't imagine what Zev was going through. He'd had to do far more than she had today.

I needed to run, was all he said. She didn't like the hollowness in his tone.

Sasha was about to ask what he meant by that when Zev seemed to stumble, then pitched forward slightly. It was as if the world vibrated. For a moment she thought she was just tired enough that his steps were beginning to jar her, but then Zev stumbled for real, and slowed so he wouldn't throw her off by accident.

And before either of them could say anything, they both felt it.

The ground trembled under Zev's feet.

Sasha sucked in a terrified breath and her hands tightened on Zev's fur. Her first thought was that they were too late. The humans were here and already waging war on the unsuspecting Chimera. Visions of weapons and blood and death swam through her mind and she swore. But then Zev stopped running and crouched low so she could slide off easily.

Then he returned to his human form, but didn't tug her behind him as he usually would when there was a threat.

"Yhet," was all he said, watching the trail ahead.

Sasha sighed with relief. "Does he know we're here?"

Zev nodded. "He has the wind. But he's still running." But there was a tension in him that made Sasha nervous. She went still. If Yhet knew they were there and he was still running for them—really running—there was a big problem.

"Nick," she breathed. Zev nodded, but kept looking ahead for their friend. Then Yhet appeared around the corner and Zev held onto Sasha's arm as the huge male's pounding feet made the entire forest shake under her like there was an earthquake.

"Sasha-don!" Yhet exclaimed, sliding to a halt just in front of them. "Patty is here! She came through just a little while ago and—"

"With Nick?" Zev snapped.

Yhet shook his head, his eyes intense. "She came through after him."

"Get her tied up, it's a trap!" Zev growled. "We'll come talk to her after we hear from Nick—"

But Yhet shook his head again. "No, no," he turned to Sasha. "Sasha-don, please. You have to come talk to her. You'll see. This is no trick. She's… she's been in another world and it's changed her. She's desperate. And she's saying you have to hear what she knows."

Sasha looked at Zev, whose hands were balled into fists at his sides. But he watched her, waiting for her decision. It was humbling—and terrifying. Why did they all believe she would know better? These people were humans, sure. But they'd known them longer than she had.

Sasha tried to swallow her nerves. "They have to be linked," she said. "Right? This can't be happening with both of them at the same time unless Nick knows something."

Zev growled. "I'm going to make sure Nick tells us what he knows—"

"Sasha, listen!" Yhet demanded and Sasha blinked. His tone brooked no argument and his face was fierce, his hair flying wildly around his face. She looked at him, shocked, but Yhet didn't stop. "I am certain of it, Sasha. You have to speak with Patty first. She knows things. Nick tricked her. He sent her to another world because she knows things."

Sasha sucked in a breath and looked at Zev, whose face was thunderous. Was Yhet talking about what they'd already discovered? Or was there something more?

That made the decision as far as Sasha was concerned.

"Where is she?" she said.

"They're bringing her. She's in a bad shape. She's been hurt. So she can't move quickly. I came to get you, to carry you to her if it was needed."

Zev growled, but swallowed it, shaking his head. Then, without a word, he shifted back to his wolf form and looked at her over his shoulder.

Sasha sighed and crawled back on. "Lead the way, Yhet."

She clung hard, her neck and shoulders tense and screaming as they began to run and Yhet's thundering footsteps threatened to put Zev off his feet with every step.

*****

They were still a few minutes from the Village when the trail widened and began to round curve around one of the larger trees. Zev and Yhet both slowed just before entering the turn, and when they swung through the corner, slowed further as the trees opened and a group could be seen trudging towards them.

Zev trotted to a halt, then sank down on his haunches again for Sasha to get down, while Yhet looked on, his face tense and uncertain.

The group was a handful of guards, plus Skhal, and between them, a woman… but despite the cool night air, she wore no furs, just a ripped long-sleeve shirt and a pair of leather pants. She stumbled along between the males, eyeing them as if every time she looked at them she wanted to scream, but her jaw was set and she limped on. One of her legs didn't seem to be working properly.

Sasha barely recognized her. Patty's hair had been shorn so it was barely more than fuzz, all one length all the way over her scalp. She was covered in dirt, smears of what looked to be blood or scrapes on her skin, and the shadows of bruises that were dark enough even Sasha could see them in the dim light.

But then Patty caught sight of Sasha ahead and her eyes widened. She broke into a shuffling run, the guards around her keeping pace easily as she crossed the last of the space between them. She could barely run, one of her legs didn't seem to want to hold her weight, but she rushed toward Sasha as if they were long-lost friends.

"Sasha. Thank God… thank God," she sobbed.

"Patty?" Sasha said uncertainly as the woman threw herself into Sasha's chest. Zev growled, but she had no weapons and she looked exhausted. Sasha didn't feel unsafe. Patty was… ragged.

Her shoulders heaved—from panting breath or sobs, Sasha wasn't sure. But when Patty straightened, she held her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "I'm so sorry," she said, swallowing hard, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I didn't understand. I wasn't… I didn't realize. I thought everything we'd been doing was for the greater good and that justified it. I'm so sorry!"

"Patty," Sasha said uneasily as the males surrounded them, unhappy about how closely Patty was holding her. "What's going on?"

Patty's face crumpled. "I'm so sorry. I forgot you don't know… Nick told me how to focus when I went into the Gateway—he said it was dangerous for human minds to focus the same way Chimera would. He told me what to wish for—landmarks to seek. So I did. And when I got through I landed… somewhere else. Somewhere where I was weak and they took me and they… they hurt me. I didn't think I'd ever get free. They were using me like an animal. I didn't know how that felt. I'm so sorry!"

"Patty, calm down. You need to tell me what you're talking about. What are you sorry about? What didn't you understand?"

Patty slumped in Sasha's arms. Then she took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes her brow was crinkled and her eyes so sad it made Sasha want to weep. "I'm sorry because… I helped the Board take your baby," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Sasha. I didn't know. I swear I didn't realize what it was doing to you!"

 

Chapter 422

Everything in her head went silent. And then it all screamed.

Next to her, Zev, who'd gone utterly still at the woman's words, suddenly launched forward with a guttural snarl and was intercepted by two of the guards and Yhet, while Sasha struggled to find any room in her head to even think, let alone speak.

Patty gripped her shoulders, her eyes pleading and grieving. And she was still talking, Sasha realized. There was more.

Holy fuck, there was more.

"They knew you were pregnant and the implantation wouldn't have taken yet. They knew they could remove it without harming you and—they wanted to do that. I helped them do that! Please, believe me, Sasha, I never meant harm! I just didn't know—"

"What are you saying? They… they killed my baby?" Sasha's voice was broken and behind her, Zev snarled again and was restrained by Yhet who held him from behind in a bear hug.

"No! No! Your baby's alive! At least… he was…"

"He?" Zev rasped.

Patty blinked, then turned to look at Zev, looking surprised, like she'd forgotten he was there. "Yes. It's male."

A whine like none Sasha had ever heard broke in Zev's throat and he became a whirlwind so that even Yhet was struggling to hold him.

Zev, please. Please stop! Sasha pleaded with him in his mind. Her heart was breaking and his was too, and she knew that. But she needed… she needed to think. She needed to breathe.

She shook Patty and the woman looked back at her again. "How can you say he's alive? If it was just an embryo—"

"They do this all the time, Sasha. This part is no big deal for them anymore. They hardly ever lose them—not for the past several years. The problem is getting embryos in the first place. But once they have one…"

"How?! Where? Where is my child?!"

Patty gulped. "They're growing him," she whispered, her fingers clawing into Sasha's arms. Her nails, ragged and dirty, bit on Sasha's skin even through the furs she wore. "They can do that, Sasha. They grow them… it's what they do. They just… they just needed him—"

Sasha shoved the woman away from her, her entire body recoiling from the idea of being close to this woman.

"You? You did this? You helped them do this?"

"I thought I was helping. I thought I was saving lives!" she wailed, her hands clutched at her chest. "I swear, Sasha, I thought it was good. I thought we were doing good. But they showed me. They showed me. I understand now—I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

She tried to reach for Sasha again, but Sasha felt like she was going to vomit. "Don't touch me. Tell me where he is. Tell me how to find him!"

"You can't! He's in the lab. They're growing him. They won't even take him out for three months, they can't. He's safe. Sasha. I swear it, he's safe. He's so valuable to them—"

"SHUT UP!" Sasha screamed and instinctively clapped both her hands over her ears to stop anything else from getting in.

She stumbled backward, struggling to breathe, as, behind her, Zev began to struggle to reach her, snarling at Yhet to let him go, while Sasha turned her back and stared at the forest, her mind numb with shock, her stomach lead.

They'd taken her baby. These fuckers had done it. They'd known exactly what they were doing the whole time. They'd planned everything. And she'd fallen for it. At every step.

Suddenly warm arms were around her. A tall, strong presence at her back—that perfect presence. Zev leaned over her, hugging her to his chest, curled himself around her as he always had since she was seventeen years old. And she fit. She fit. She always fit there, in that place.

They were both trembling, but he murmured in her ear.

"… get him back. We'll get him back Sasha. Don't doubt it. We will get him back, or die trying. I will not leave him in their hands."

She turned to face him then, staring up at him, taking his beautiful face in her hands.

His eyes looked black in the darkness, but pinpoints of light shone—determination, fear, rage… everything she felt was reflected in that pair of eyes that she loved more than any other on earth.

"They took our baby," she whispered.

Zev's chest jumped and he held her tighter. "We'll get him back."

"We have to, Zev. We have to."

"We will."

She turned around in his arms, burying her face in his chest, and sobbed into his furs. Zev held her so tightly she could barely breathe, but she wanted it tighter. Yearned to press herself into him and never come out. This world was too much. Too painful. Too frightening. Too ugly.

There was a scuffle behind Zev—Patty trying to get to her, she thought. But she didn't even look up. Let the males take care of it because she couldn't look at that woman. Not yet.

She needed a minute. Just a minute to breathe through the pain and abject terror that now tore at her guts.

She had a baby. They had a baby.

Nathan had her baby.

A sound like she'd never made in her life tore out of her throat and she screamed, shoving Zev away and turning to where Patty was being held by the guards.

"How could you?! How COULD YOU?!"

"He's safe!" Patty cried. "They want him alive. They want him healthy. They're doing everything they can—"

"Except loving him! They'll never love him—how could you be a part of that?!"

"I never will be again, I swear it, Sasha. I was… I was taken… in that place… When I stepped out of the gateway, I wasn't a scientist, I was the animal to them. I didn't know. I didn't know! Please, you have to believe me!"

"I will never believe another word that comes out of your mouth!" Sasha snarled, her hands clawed at her sides. She wanted to tear this woman's face off. Wanted to flay her skin from her bones. She wanted her dead.

Sasha had never wanted a person dead before, but now she did. Patty. Nick. Nathan. Everyone in that fucking compound.

She wanted them all dead.

 

Chapter 423

Zev's entire body shook so hard that his feet scuffed on the ground. Sasha fell apart in his arms and his heart pounded so hard, that piece where they'd shared themselves pulsing so violently it felt like his chest was about to rip open.

He'd known, deep down, that this was a possibility. But he hadn't wanted to even think of it. It was why he'd avoided confronting Nick. Because Nick would have lied, and Zev would have caught the lie, and Zev would have killed him.

Correction, Zev was going to kill him.

He could smell the rage beginning to burn in Sasha too. Her scent had been washed in grief and fear when they'd first heard those awful words. But as she stood there, as he held her, while the other emotions hadn't eased, her anger had roared to life and was now burning like a torch, lighting her scent—and her eyes.

She paced the dirt in front of him, hands in her hair, while the guards watched on. They might not understand a female's sense of loss directly, but all the Chimera cherished offspring and hated the humans. To hear that one of theirs had been taken when it was so young and vulnerable…

He, Zev reminded himself. His child was a he.

His chest shuddered with a swallowed sob.

Zev was a father.

He had a son.

And that fucker Nick had known.

His hands shook as he raked them back and forth through his hair.

He felt like he stood in chaos. The calm at the center of a tornado. Except… the opposite was true. His entire being had been rocked and was being thrown to and fro, like a leaf in the wind. Around him was relative calm.

The guards held Patty, who sobbed and pleaded with Sasha. He didn't think his mate could even hear her.

Yhet stood alongside them, poised to catch anyone who got loose—including Zev himself. Being enclosed in those iron arms had very nearly tipped him over the edge. Yhet must have realized because he'd loosed his hold on Zev and muttered that he would let him go if only he'd prove he was in control of his own decisions.

Zev had made himself still, though he was still trembling, then Yhet had let him go, clapping a hand to his shoulder as Zev rushed to Sasha.

But now his mate was in turmoil—pacing, swearing, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"We have to get him out," she said.

"You can't. Not yet," Patty sobbed. "You'll kill him if you take him out of the incubator before he's at least three months. They usually try for four, just to be safe."

Sasha turned on her. "You knew! You knew all of this and you let me leave!"

"For your safety! For theirs. You will have other children, Sasha. And this one… this one will save so many lives. They know what he can do now. They know what Zev can do and they're certain that the baby will be the same. They've found the gene."

"What are you talking about?" Zev growled.

Patty looked at him, wide-eyed. "You are Abraham, Zev. The father of a nation. As numerous as the stars. They aren't taking chances this time. They'll grow him, and clone him. And if you have more, they'll clone them, too. It's easier to do when they can match the genetics of an embryo—they were too late with you. The process is too flawed. But not this time. This time they know—they can follow the recipe. The exact genetic code. The exact growth and hormone pattern. They are… they're building a new race, Zev. And you're the father of it. Can't you see? You're going to save the world—"

"STOP TALKING LIKE A FUCKING PROPHET!" Sasha screamed. She plowed forward, shoving Patty to the ground when the Guards let her go. She pulled back a leg to kick the woman, but Zev grabbed her at the waist and pulled her away, struggling to hold her as she tried to push his arm off and run for the woman. "THAT'S MY FUCKING CHILD YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"NO, YOU AREN'T YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE WITH WHAT THOSE SICK FUCKS DO!"

"No, I'm not! I'm not! I promise you! I just… I wanted you to know… we don't follow them because we're trying to hurt. We follow them because we're trying to help!"

He still held her at the waist, but he'd let her to the ground, holding her against his hip. Sasha shook her head, then turned to look up at him as if she'd never seen him before.

"How can you all fall for this… bullshit that they spew?!" she cried, including all of them in her rage, even the guards, who looked nervously at Zev. "How do they suck you in so you will follow them? How can you do these things and tell yourself that they're okay?"

He knew it was a rhetorical question, but it was one he'd been asking himself for months, and he finally knew the answer.

"Because we couldn't have lived with ourselves if we didn't," he croaked.

Sasha went still, her hands still clasped, prying at his forearm as she tried to get loose. "What… what are you saying, Zev?" she whispered.

Zev closed his eyes for a moment, the ache within him growing. "They… they give you a vision," he whispered. "They show you what it will look like at the end and… it sounds perfect." He swallowed hard. "Then they tell you what you have to do to get there and they make it sound like it's worth it."

Patty, now on all fours at the feet of the guard, nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks.

But Sasha turned. "What did they do to you?" she asked, her voice broken. "What haven't you told me?"

The answer to that question bloomed in his mind, though he'd never admitted it to another person, not even a Chimera. The temptation was there to speak it. To finally absolve himself of all the sick and horrible ways he'd been deceived, and all the ways he'd acted at the hand of these fuckers. But there was already too much to face. Too many things to deal with.

I will tell you, he said into her head. I promise I will. But right now, we have a people and a baby to save.

Sasha's face crumpled.

 

Chapter 424

"Zev! No!" Sasha scrambled to her feet. He couldn't do it. They had to find out what Nick knew! "Zev! Stop!" she ran a few paces after him, but he was already out of sight, galloping in his wolf form, his coat blending into the forest ahead even before he turned a corner and was obscured by the trees.

She whirled to face the others whose expressions ranged from surprise to approval. "We have to stop him! Nick knows things we need to know! If he kills him, we'll never… I mean, we won't know if…"

"Sasha-don," one of the guards said gently, "he goes to stand in defense of his family, his clan. It's the right thing to do."

"Not if that male he's about to kill can tell us how to save everyone else!" she snarled. "Do you think I don't want to see him dead? Do you think I don't want them all dead?! I do! But that's not the point. Revenge won't save anyone who's already been hurt. If we don't get the information he has, we might be killed ourselves and then they win!"

The guards looked at each other. Patty stayed on the ground, shaking her head and crying softly. Sasha wanted to scream. Couldn't they see?!

But then Yhet stepped forward—quickly. Sasha looked at him, was going to ask him, but he stepped into a run, sweeping her up in one arm and pulling her into his chest like a child. "Hold on, Sasha," he rumbled.

Then the wind hit her back so hard that her hair blew into her face. "Yhet—whoa!"

She squawked when he flipped her onto her back and hooked an arm under her legs, holding her the way Zev often did when he carried her. But Yhet made no sly smile or suggestive wink. "Hold on, Sasha," he repeated.

She threw her arms around his neck and clung as he picked up his pace.

The forest flew by in a blur. She was jolted with every step and if she let herself think about what was going on, she might have screamed in fear. But instead, she pressed her face against the side of Yhet's neck and hugged her massive friend.

"Can you catch him?" she asked.

"Yes." He wasn't even breathing heavily. How did he do this?

"Can you stop him?"

"Yes, but I won't."

"What? Yhet! Why not?"

"Because Nick deserves to die," Yhet said, his voice a low growl that made Sasha think of rocks and boulders tumbling down a stone hill.

"Yhet, listen to me: We were coming this way because Nick had sent a message that there were problems with the humans."

"Nick lies."

"Yes, but Zev's pretty good at telling when he's lying. And even if he is, then we know what they're trying to push us towards—we know what to avoid! Please, Yhet. We have to stop him."

She turned her face forward to look and see if she could see Zev, but his wolf was nowhere to be seen. Would Zev even have stuck to the trail? She doubted it. Still looking forward, her eyes watered so badly in the wind of their passage, and they were moving so quickly, that the tears were pressed back towards her temples instead of falling down her cheeks.

Never again would she view Yhet as a gentle giant. The guy was a force of nature. Sasha turned back to press her face into his shoulder.

"Yhet, please. Help me stop him. Just for a time. If he's not helping us I'll… I'll let you two do whatever you think is right."

Yhet didn't respond immediately, but she could feel him thinking. Trying not to take advantage, she just held on and prayed that he'd see the light.

Finally, mid-run, Yhet sighed. "Very well, Sasha," he said quietly. "I'll help you stop him if it's needed."

"Thank you, Yhet."

"But you should not stop him forever, Sasha," Yhet continued. "Sometimes… sometimes it will do a male good to be the hand of justice in the life of another."

Sasha winced. "Is it justice though, Yhet? Or revenge? Because I'm all about these guys getting revealed to be what they are and punished. But I feel like if we just kill them, they look like victims—and whoever they left behind just keeps doing what they're doing. They need to be… unmasked."

Yhet frowned, his face barely quivering despite the punishing pace he was running at. "I'll think on that," he said gruffly.

Sasha nodded and held tightly as they continued down the trail. She just prayed they'd get there quickly enough that Nick would still be alive and coherent so she could ask him questions.

*****

A couple of minutes later they flew into the village, males calling for Yhet as he passed.

He slowed down to a walk and called to one of them. "Have you seen Zev-dan? He might have been in his wolf form?"

The male shook his head. Yhet ground his teeth and it sounded like rocks being broken down by machinery.

"Where is Nick?" Sasha called as Yhet let her down to the ground. It was a strange feeling, like her dad putting her down when she was a little girl. But she stifled the feeling and just eyed the males straight.

"He was being guarded at his hut a few minutes ago."

Yhet turned on his heel, pulling Sasha along with him, though he kept his pace to a slow jog for her as they passed through the village on the way to Nick's hut.

When they reached the square there were a lot more people around, and Sasha peered around, looking for Zev, listening for the sound of his voice.

When she heard it, she broke into a run.

Zev was snarling through his teeth, each sentence punctuated by thuds and grunts.

As they rushed forward, Sasha's heart dropped.

Zev had Nick by the chest of his black outfit. He picked the older man up bodily and threw him down onto the ground.

Nick made a strange groan and a wheeze when he landed, then curled up to cover his stomach and head as Zev kicked right into his ribs.

"Zev! Stop!" Sasha screamed. "We have to find out what he knows!"

 

Chapter 425

As he ran, Zev stretched out with his mind to find any of his pack nearby. To his satisfaction, the guards set on Nick were wolves, so Zev had let them know he was coming and asked them to turn their backs and walk away.

But, Zev, Sasha said we're supposed to make sure no one gets to him, and he doesn't get to anyone else.

This fucker is mine, Zev growled in their heads. "I've just left Sasha, she's coming too. You back away from that place and leave. Go find another post, help them guard the Cave, and make sure no humans come through. There won't be a need for you here anymore."

After a few seconds, all four of the guards had submitted—even in their heads, he could feel them flatten their ears and tuck their tails in. When he galloped into the village there was no one to be seen, and by the time he raced into the square and across it towards the shack they'd given Nick in the trees not far from the center of the village, even the guards had peeled quietly away.

So when Zev sprinted up to the door and had retaken his human form, shouldering through the door, it was to find a shocked Nick, sitting on a bench in the little shack, holding one of those fucking devices.

He hadn't even realized his guards had left.

Zev stopped dead, his body coiling for the strike, but Nick hadn't read the danger in him. He looked relieved.

"Thank God you're here," he muttered. "Took you long enough. How inefficient are those messengers? Get me back to the human world where we can use technology. Is Sasha with you? We have to—"

With a puttering growl, Zev launched for his throat, then dragged a suddenly red-faced and squawking Nick out of the shack by his neck and threw him to the dirt outside.

"What the fuck, Zev!" he cried, clearly shocked.

"You bastard."

"What the hell is going on?" Nick's face was wide and his eyes darted around like he was afraid, but he'd already gotten his feet and hands underneath him and was readying himself to leap to his feet in exactly the way he'd taught Zev to do it. Zev didn't miss that he was working to look dismayed and confused even as his eyes scanned the clearing for help—or further attack.

"You let them take my baby, Nick. You're a fucking dead man."

Nick's eyes went wide at the word 'baby,' and he raised a hand. "Wait, no, it's not what you think—"

But Zev snarled and punched him square in the jaw.

Nick made a weird noise and slammed back into the dirt, stunned.

"Asshole, bastard, cuntfaced—" Zev snarled the words, his wolf leaping to the fore and snapping to be released. He trembled with the urge to give in and let the animal sink its teeth into Nick's throat. Rage was a bonfire in his chest. But then Nick tried to crawl away and Zev was on him like a hawk on a mouse, punching, shoving, and kicking Nick around the clearing as the man scrambled, trying to protect himself and move away at the same time.

"You sick fuck!"

"Zev! Argh! You have to listen to me!"

"Fucking murderer—"

"You can't—"

"Zev!" Sasha's voice was high and desperate. How had she gotten there so quickly? But as she came into view, Yhet was on her heels and Zev swore again.

Nick was distracted by them, had rolled to his stomach, and was trying to get to his feet. Zev caught him with a lightning kick to the ribs and he grunted and went down.

"I don't want to fight you," Nick wheezed. "But I will."

"Always words, Nick. Always fucking WORDS!" Zev screamed at him, one arm cocked to take the guy out.

But Sasha slid between them while Yhet stood over Nick, his thick arms folded, his eyes narrowed at the human male who looked pathetic, crouching behind Sasha.

"Get out of the way, Sasha!"

"No! Zev! We have to find out what he knows!"

"I didn't come back to hurt you, Zev, I came back to help you!"

"Shut UP, Nick!" they both screamed at him.

"You have to listen to me, Zev!" Nick croaked, holding his ribs.

"What about our child, Nick?! Your help is bullshit! Why aren't you helping him?!"

Nick was aghast. "How did you know?"

Zev's eyes widened and he cocked his arm back again, but Sasha put her hands up, pushing into his chest. "No, Zev, please! Just hold off!"

"I'm going to kill you, you fucker! I'm going to kill you for being a part of that!"

"I wasn't a fucking part of it! I was the one trying to get you all away safely!"

"Bullshit!"

"Zev," Sasha was near tears, one hand on his arm to stop him from throwing the punch, blocking his body with her own to stop him from kicking Nick again. "Please! Just let me talk to him!"

"I'm not the enemy here, Zev. Don't you remember who it was that took care of you? Who played with you? Who gave you a home instead of a cage? That was me—or have you forgotten that part?"

"You think that makes up for kidnapping my child?!"

"No! I think it means you can trust me that I wasn't working against you."

Zev scoffed so hard that he lost his breath. "I can't trust you as far as I can throw you!" Then his eyes got dark. "Why don't we see how far that is?"

"Zev, no!" Sasha squealed, but he darted around her to scoop Nick up by the back of his pants and shirt as the older man tried to scramble away, then he lifted him and threw him against a tree trunk.

Nick grunted and wheezed, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"I think I have a clue." The needling voice, that strange, dissonant tone came from behind the tree as Ernie stepped out and smiled at Zev. "Can I help?"

 

Chapter 426

Zev smiled and Nick made a small whimper in his throat as Ernie clicked his two front spider-legs together, smiling wildly so that he looked like a cartoon supervillain.

"No, Ernie," Sasha said breathlessly from behind him. Zev whirled. Why would she stop anything that tormented Nick? "This is a private conversation," she said, her voice trembling.

Zev's anger did battle with his love for his mate in that moment. He knew Sasha didn't want any of them to know—though they were going to have to tell the people, he knew. He hadn't thought about how, or when, but if they were going to save their son, they had to do it before they went to the safe place. Which meant that they would be split up from everyone else. They were going to have to tell them why.

Ernie looked back and forth between Zev and Sasha, uncertain of the etiquette.

"I said, no, Ernie," Sasha snapped, stepping forward to Zev's side. "I appreciate your willingness to help, and I would like you to stay nearby in case Nick tries to run. If you see him outside the confines of the village without guards or one of us, you have my permission to… do whatever you wish?"

Ernie's eyebrows rose, then he turned to smile at Nick, whose eyes went wide.

"Did you know he can make webs, Nick? Big ones. You can't really see them, but they'll hold you faster than any jail cell."

"I'd…" Nick cleared his throat. "I'd heard."

Ernie huffed a laugh, but Zev just stared at the man he'd called father for so long.

"Screw Ernie. I want you dead. At my hands," he snarled.

Nick's face fell, and if Zev hadn't reached the point where he didn't believe a single thing Nick did or said, he would have thought he'd hurt him.

As Sasha arranged for Ernie to patrol the trail towards the cave, then sent him off into the trees, Zev and Nick locked eyes. Nick had gotten to his feet, hands at the ready to defend, and the light in his eyes that Zev knew well from their training.

"I don't want to fight you, Zev," Nick said, that steely resolve in his voice that usually made Zev's stomach drop.

Not today, Satan.

"Well, I do." Zev smiled the smile he saved for prey, dropped his chin, and rushed forward—but Nick danced out of the way, his hands up to protect his face and chest, so they were left circling, trying to find an opening.

"Yhet, please!" Sasha begged. "Stop them before they hurt each other."

As Zev and Nick both circled each other, each waiting for the other to strike, Yhet shook his head. "Sorry, Sasha-don. Zev is Second and he sees an enemy. Only you can stop him."

"That's my boy, Yhet," Zev growled.

"If I can order Zev, I can order you!" Sasha insisted.

But Yhet just shook his head again. "Not when battle is imminent, Sasha. Interfering with a warrior in a fight is a good way to get that warrior killed."

Nick narrowed his eyes.

"Oh for the love of—" Sasha made a noise that was half-growl, half sob. Then, just as Zev circled and could see her face again, she fixed him with piercing eyes. "I vowed to keep him safe. And I don't know what the humans will do if I don't," she growled. "I also believe he has information that we need—"

Nick's eyes slipped to Sasha for a split second, and Zev took his shot—a jab to those sore ribs, then a knee into his kidney, and Nick was down.

Zev, who'd scrambled back after his attack in case there was retaliation, leaped forward again, but Nick, down on all fours on the ground, his shoulders heaving, was bellowing.

"I was going to tell you when I knew for sure the kid lived and was safe! There was no point if they killed it because it was already done when I found out. It wouldn't have changed anything if it hadn't lived. I didn't want you to know because I didn't want you to grieve!"

Sasha and Zev both froze.

"What?" Sasha snapped.

Nick, panting and grimacing against pain, forced himself to his feet and turned to face them both. "I was going to tell you," he growled. "Both of you. I was checking on him when I went back. Making sure he was alive and well cared for. I've been protecting him!"

Zev gaped at him. "You? Protect? Him? Like you protected me? Are you fucking kidding me, Nick?"

"You can say what you want now, Zev, but I'm the only reason both of you are still here, and you know it," Nick snapped. "And your child is going to be alive for you thanks to me, because they wanted to do genetic tests even while… even while he was so small. They weren't even going to tell you about him, just raise him as their own if he was healthy. They take risks, always risks. And I stopped them!"

"If he's… healthy?" Sasha stunned. "And if he's not?"

Nick didn't respond.

Zev shot forward, snapping his teeth, the unholy growl of an Alpha wolf on the edge of his leash erupting from his throat. Nick froze, his eyes locked on Zev's.

"You answer her," Zev snarled.

Nick raised his hands and dropped his chin, shaking his head. But he didn't answer.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!"

Zev launched at him, Sasha gasping for him to stop, but it was Nick's voice that echoed around the clearing. As Zev took hold of him, Nick fought, scrambling to keep Zev at arm's length and screaming.

"You need me! You need me because I can get you to him! I can show you how to reach him!"

Zev slid to a halt, Sasha gaping at his side.

Nick kept his hands up, his shoulders forward, chin down. He made the picture of a submitted male. Zev's throat bobbed.

"I can help you get to the right lab," Nick muttered. "To him. I can get you in."

 

Chapter 427

Zev, teeth bared, his entire body taut and trembling, held Nick by his shirt. His muscles bulged as if they'd break through the stretchy material, and a vein appeared on his forehead.

Sasha barely breathed. She'd never seen Zev look so deadly. She blinked. If she'd seen him like that without knowing him, she would have run.

She didn't know what to say. He was stretched to breaking point and she worried that the wrong word would make him snap.

Nick seemed to have no such concerns. Although he looked nervous and had his arms braced on Zev's shoulder and chest, he didn't drop his gaze, and his jaw was tight too.

"Think it through, Zev," Nick said quietly, calmly, but firmly, like he was coaching a kid who was about to get out of control. "We want the same thing here. I want that kid in your hands as much as you do."

"Bull. Shit," Zev snarled.

"Listen to me, Zev. You're proof. They just can't see it. I want that kid in your hands because it's going to finally work."

Zev's breath shuddered and Sasha hurried to his side, to intervene before Nick got himself killed.

"Nick," she said, her voice shaking with the combination of anger and fear this entire situation had unleashed, "Stop being cagey. State it plain. Why do you want Zev to have his son? Why should we believe that you'd help us get him and not make it some trap to keep us at the compound?"

"Because, Zev is proof that when a Chimera gets raised with someone to care for them, it makes them stronger, healthier, and… just better. What do you think the difference is between you and Lhars, Zev?" Nick said gruffly.

"I don't give a fuck—"

"Yes, you do, because it means I'm invested in getting your kid in your hands with no interference from fucking Nathan. I said think, Zev. Don't feel right now. Think: What is the difference between you and Lhars? Same DNA sources. Same medical and biological process from beginning to end. Same nutrition, same education until it became clear that Lhars wasn't you. So… what's the difference? What formed you differently than Lhars?"

Zev just stared, shaking his head slowly.

"It's me," Nick said like Zev should have seen it. "Core memories, Zev. Someone to put their arm around you. Someone to guide—not just train. A male in your life who cared."

"You didn't give a shit about me."

Nick blew out a breath and muttered a curse. "Look, I get it, okay? I'm a manipulative bastard, but you know, Zev. You know I took hits for you. You know I gave things up for you. You might not like your dad very much, but I was a father to you. And it changed you."

"Think, Zev. Remember, I showed you all those tests done by the Nazis during the second world war? 01:02

Remember I showed you what the truly fucked up minds of this world did? And what did I tell you Sasha staggered back a step. Was Nick really saying that Zev was different because Nick cared about him?

Could it be true?

"Nick—" she started. But he put a hand up to stop her, all his attention on Zev.

"Think, Zev. Remember, I showed you all those tests done by the Nazis during the second world war? Remember I showed you what the truly fucked up minds of this world did? And what did I tell you that they discovered? What?"

Zev's breath was shallow and short, his chest rising and falling. "Neglect of children damaged their brains."

"That's right. That's right," Nick said, encouraging. The teacher again. The coach when a kid was coming around. "I tried to make them see it—you needed touch. You needed laughter. You needed a friend, as well as a parent. They can't see it, because they think they don't need those things. They didn't believe me. So I proved it to them."

Zev's eyes narrowed and his hands tightened on Nick's shirt so hard his knuckles were white.

"They still aren't listening," Nick muttered. "But I'm not going to let them ruin this one. He's growing well. Growing fast. He's healthy. He's safe. And I'm going to make sure that as soon as he's strong enough, he gets into your hands. You and Sasha," Nick said, his voice brimming with conviction. "By the time that kid's seven, they're going to realize that I'm right and then there's no more of this, Zev. You realize that, right? As soon as they realize the healthiest Chimera are the ones who were born naturally and got to stay with their parents… Suddenly they don't want to take the kids anymore. That's what you want, right?"

"He's lying," Sasha hissed. "He knew they took our baby and he didn't tell us."

"I didn't know until later!" Nick spat, finally turning his head to look at Sasha. "I didn't know until it was already done."

"I asked you," Sasha said, pointing at his chest. "I asked you what they did to me, and you said—"

"I said they made sure you weren't pregnant," Nick interrupted her. "Because they did."

Sasha's stomach turned. "You sick fuck."

"For the record," Nick added, "They didn't tell me until after the procedure was done. Otherwise, I would have helped."

Zev snarled and pulled Nick higher, but the guy stayed calm and shook his head. "You know I'm telling you the truth, Zev. I know you wish it wasn't true, but just think. You know I'm right!"

"Even if you are," Zev said and Sasha's stomach dropped. "That doesn't mean I trust you. You've fucked me over more times than I can count."

"And I've saved your ass even more times than that! C'mon, Zev, you know me: When I want something I go after it. The thing I want is to prove to these bastards that their degrees and training are for shit if they can't see the bigger picture. That's what I do. I see the bigger picture. That's why they keep me around. And now they're going to listen to me. I'm going to show them!"

"Show them, how?" Sasha asked tentatively, putting one hand to Zev's back. He quivered like a scared horse.

Or a wolf about to hunt to kill.

Nick looked back and forth between them and a smile crept up. "By getting your kid back to you and keeping you hidden from them until the kid's at least seven."

Zev snorted, then started to laugh.

 

Chapter 428

He was cracking up. Literally losing his mind. Nick stared at him, his eyes wary, while Sasha's hand tightened on his back.

"You think…" he spluttered, "that I'm… giving you my kid… when he's… seven?"

Nick glared. "I didn't mean giving him to me. I just meant that we can start training—shit!"

Faster than lightning, Zev picked Nick up and plowed him into the dirt, dropping with him, one hand on his neck and using it to pin him to the ground.

Nick made a strange, sputtering noise and clawed at Zev's hand. But Zev had him pinned and his hand clamped down on his throat.

"You think I don't remember my training, Nick?" he muttered through his teeth. "I do. I remember every moment of it. Every kind of weapon you made me to be. I know exactly how strong I am, and exactly how long it will take you to die."

Unable to speak, or even breathe, Nick flailed for a moment, his eyes wide and panicked. Zev nodded.

"Yeah, it all looks a little different from this side, doesn't it?" he murmured, and even he was unnerved by the cold brutality in his own voice. But he didn't stop. "The moment the dog turns on his handler... how does it feel?" He leaned his head down and muttered into Nick's ear. "You're the prey this time. There's over one hundred and twenty pounds of pressure in my grip, Nick. And it's my dominant hand. Maybe one hundred and fifty. Those are your words."

"Zev?!" Sasha's voice was breathless and fearful. "What are you doing?"

Nick's face turned beet red and he clawed at Zev's arm, then beat it with his fist.

"Strangling is a really inefficient way to kill, remember? So much better to bite and take out a major blood vessel. You'll bleed out in under two minutes." Zev bared his teeth. Nick's face was the picture of horror. Zev smiled. "You made me Nick. You trained me. That's how I know you're going to lose consciousness inside two minutes because I'm pretty close to your jugular—you're lucky I missed my aim, otherwise you'd already be out. But I'm pretty sure I'm restricting blood flow, too."

Nick's mouth opened and closed and his fists pounding on Zev's arm got weaker. His legs jiggled and danced as he fought to gain purchase on the ground with his heels. But though he could arch his back, he had no way to loosen Zev's grip on his neck.

Zev's voice went dead. "I'm stronger than the average human, Nick. My arm won't get tired so fast. Not like a human who might have to let go before you're actually dead—"

"Zev, stop!" Sasha pleaded. "Stop! You're going to kill him!"

"That's the plan."

"No, Zev! He knows things we need to know. No one else will tell us! Let him go. Zev! LET HIM GO!"

Those words were barked at him, the full force of her Alpha power thrown at him like a steel weight, right at his chest.

He almost yelped because it stung. But even though his arm shook, even though his head ducked and his body wanted to submit, he didn't obey.

"Zev!"

A blood vessel burst in one of Nick's eyes.

"Zev, you're killing him! And if he dies, our chances of finding our baby might go with him—stop!"

"We'll use the—"

"STOP!" she snarled and shoved at his arm. "Zev, you have to stop! Please! He might be our only chance! Our baby—"

It was the tears in her eyes that did it. Even though he doubted they needed Nick's help to find their son, he knew she'd never forgive him if he didn't let her find out.

With a muttered curse he let go of Nick, who flipped over, coughing and gagging, scrambling away from Zev as quickly as he was able.

Zev, grimacing, sat back on his heels, panting, the adrenalin coursing through his body like electricity. Sasha watched Nick warily, but stayed at Zev's side, gripping his arm in one hand like she was afraid he was going to launch it at Nick, stroking his back with the other.

"Thank you, Zev. Thank you," she said, relieved. "Look at me. Zev, look at me."

He forced himself to turn his head, to take his eyes off his surrogate father and meet hers. Her bright, sad, welling eyes searched his with such a profound sense of grief he had to reach for her.

"Are you back?" she whispered. "Are you here?"

"I—yes. What do you mean?"

She stared at him, her forehead wrinkled, but she just shook her head, then looked at Nick and got to her feet to go stand over him where he'd propped himself up with his back against a tree and was still coughing and wheezing.

"I'm going to give you two minutes to get your breath back," she said, her voice trembling and tight. "And then you're answering my questions, or I'm letting him have you. And no, there's no quid pro quo this time, Nick. It's my questions and your answers."

Nick nodded but didn't even open his eyes, just put his hands to his chest and focused on breathing, his chest and shoulders heaving.

Zev stood up and went to put himself at her back, standing over her, glaring down at the man he'd once loved.

Nick kept clearing his throat, then coughing, but after a minute or two, his chest was no longer heaving. He opened his eyes and immediately found Zev's. There was grief in his gaze. But also fierce determination. He tensed and pressed himself back into the tree. But his gaze didn't waver.

Zev bared his teeth again.

"Okay," Nick said hoarsely, his voice thin and rasping.

Sasha, who stood over him with her arms folded, nodded once. "Where is he?"

"A lab you never saw. It's deep in the forest, hidden. Half the staff don't even know it's there. It's where we do the most secret stuff. Fully secure. Always guarded. It's about a ten minute walk through the forest, behind the building where we ate."

Sasha took a deep breath and he could feel her fighting her own anger and fear. "What... what are they doing to him?"

Nick didn't even hesitate. "Growing him. He's in an incubator that replicates the female womb. But it's enhanced. He'll develop through the equivalent of a human pregnancy in about three months. But if he's Chimera, the tech will tell them that and they'll adjust. He'll get everything his body needs." Nick said that like it was a gift. Zev wanted to bite out his throat.

"How do we get him back?" Sasha asked quickly.

Nick raised a shaking hand to run it over his face. "You can't take him out of the incubator—and everything it provides—until he's reached at least three months. About eight weeks from now."

"How do we get him out?"

Nick managed a flat look at her. "Without me to get you in and out, you don't get him out at all," he croaked. "If I'm there, I can show you how to disconnect him. But for him, that will be like delivery. You might be better to wait until they've taken him out. That would be… ten weeks from now."

Sasha looked over her should at him, and her eyes were so sad.

 

Chapter 429

Sasha's skin crawled at the images blooming in her mind of her baby, wrapped in some kind of silicon bag and… growing. Without her. Without his father. Without anything but people in white coats and clipboards.

She shuddered.

She'd always wanted to sing to her baby.

Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them back. "How can you know that's when they'll… deliver him?" she asked.

"Because the process is very precise."

"And when he's out of this… process?"

"He'll be raised like any of the Chimera—fed, watered, bathed… but he won't have parents unless I take you to him."

"But they'll grow him, right? Grow him faster than usual?"

"They try not to do that because it causes a dissonance between the mind and body," Nick said, then blinked. "Wait, how did you know—?"

"My questions, your answers, Nick. How do we get our son out of there?"

"You'll need my help."

"Specifics," she hissed. Zev put a hand on her back and leaned into her so she'd feel his warmth there.

Nick sighed and cleared his throat again, but his voice was no less hoarse when he spoke. "I'd get you inside during the evening. The only time that particular lab is vulnerable is when Nathan has his time in it. Which he does even night after dinner when he's on base."

"What? What's he doing?"

Nick shook his head, sneering. "He has this weird ritual. He's convinced that the Chimera bond with him in their subconscious and that will keep him safe. So every evening he's there, he goes and sits with any of the babies or invitro… so they can get comfortable with his voice."

Zev gave a sharp intake of breath and Nick's eyes jumped to his. "Yeah. He did it with you, too."

Zev muttered a curse. Sasha put a hand back and grabbed his, holding onto him, reminding him that she was there.

Nathan's cold, cunning face appeared in her head and Sasha began to shake. "How does he… bond?" she asked faintly, terrified to hear the answer.

Nick shrugged. "He touches them. Just… strokes their arm or head. He's nice to them. If they're old enough, he gives them treats. Makes a nice memory for them."

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't want to be at risk that they'll want to kill him for his role in making them and putting them there. He wants them to trust him. And… he has this weird conviction that the Chimera are kind of magical. He thinks if he touches them it'll rub off."

Sasha opened her mouth, but Nick raised one hand off his chest. "Look, Sasha," he cleared his throat again. "The only time you can even hope to get a baby out of there is during those hours. And you'd have to take Nathan down to do it."

Zev growled. Sasha didn't take her eyes off of Nick, but she spoke to Zev in his head.

Do you think it's a trap?

I don't think he's lying, but could it be a trap anyway? Absolutely.

Sasha bit her lip. I think we have enough information, though. We could be specific with the Gateway

—we have to show up in that lab, at that time. It sounds like there's no time when it's ever empty.

Zev sighed. Nick was looking at both of them expectantly.

Don't give him any clue that we're talking, Sasha said in his head.

Of course not.

Then she looked up at him and smiled a watery smile. "Whatever happens, we're doing it together." It seemed like she felt his chest squeeze when he looked down at her. She put a hand up to his face. "We can do this," she whispered. "No matter what he's put you through before… we're going to win this."

Zev's face crumpled and he closed his eyes, turning his face into her palm and kissing it.

"This is all really sweet," Nick croaked. "But the fact remains, you can't win this without me."

Sasha took a deep breath and stroked Zev's cheek one last time before turning to face the man. Then she knelt down where he was sitting, nearly at his feet.

Nick watched her warily, but she didn't miss that his breathing was virtually normal. She wouldn't give him a chance to get his hands on her, because she knew if he was planning anything, getting leverage against Zev was what he needed to get himself out safely.

"You aren't going anywhere," she said quietly.

Nick frowned. "I mean, of course not. Not right away. But I'll need to go back before you go. I have to position everything."

"Position what, exactly?" Zev growled.

Nick sighed. "They need to think that I've been unsuccessful here. Or that there's a reason for me to return. I'll need to be back there and back into a normal routine before the time. Because Nathan needs to get used to seeing me around so I can be close enough to get you in at the right time."

Sasha and Zev looked at each other. Sasha was the one who turned to Nick. "You'll forgive me if I'm a little skeptical about sending you back there with a plan where you know the date and time we'll arrive and… that's just a no, Nick. I'm sorry."

"How else am I supposed to help you get in?"

"We'll have to work something out," she said. "But for now… you're staying here. Until I figure this out, you're staying here."

Nick shrugged like it didn't make a lot of difference to him. "We have weeks before he'd be ready anyway. Just have in mind that I should be there two or three weeks ahead."

Sasha nodded, though she didn't say anything.

Zev's upper lip curled back and she put a hand on his arm, so he sucked in a breath and looked at her.

She was about to suggest that they go when she had a thought. "Give me your device, Nick," Sasha said suddenly.

Nick glared at her. "I hid Zev's login from them if that's what you're worried about."

Sasha had to work hard not to reveal her surprise.

Do you believe him? She asked Zev in his head.

I don't know, Zev replied and his voice was dark and flat. I just don't know.

Sasha gave Nick a bright smile. "That's good, thank you. Now give me the fucking device."

 

Chapter 430

Somehow it was still dark when they walked away from Nick, leaving him in the hands of Yhet and Ernie, who Zev had called for help keeping Nick in his shack. Zev was concerned he was more motivated than ever to work against them and didn't want him to have any chance—or motivation—

to try and leave. Nick was allowed to see them both, taking positions on either side of the shack, along with guards circling it.

"I don't care if he has to shit in his own bed, he doesn't leave there unless Sasha or I give the order personally."

They all nodded and planted their feet. Then Zev turned to Sasha, took her hand and led her towards the trail. Neither of them spoke. They didn't hurry, though Zev was brimming with excess energy, and Sasha gripped his hand so tightly she threatened to cut off blood flow.

Are we alone? She asked him through the bond.

I can't know for sure. We've got so many patrols around. I might not smell them or hear them if they were being careful. We need to assume we could be heard if we spoke.

Sasha sighed and kept walking.

A minute later a shudder rocked through her. Zev broke stride, turning to her, but she shook her head and kept walking, not even meeting his eye.

I can't believe they have him, she said, her voice so faint in his head.

We'll get him back.

Zev's chest was constricted, as if Yhet still had arms around him. He trembled too, but with restrained rage. He knew he had to keep himself calm. Thinking.

That made the memory of Nick staring him down, urging him to think, swim into his mind's eye and he growled.

Sasha snapped her head around to look at him and he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

What are we doing? How are we going to do this? I can't… Zev… how the hell are we going to do this?

Zev shook his head, he didn't know either, and hearing her heartbreak and fear only made his own worse. But before he could even think of something to offer, her tone shifted, and his Alpha stepped You're right, Sasha. I agree with you. We'll do it.

Nick can't know.

forward in his mind.

We have to get them out now. All of them. We can't wait. They have to get across and get to safety, no matter what we're doing, we can't risk keeping them here. Even if Nick did hide your interference from them—and we can't be sure of that, right?—it doesn't matter. There's just too much. Too many lies. Too many risks. They have to get to the Safe Place now. Tonight.

Then she looked at the sky through the gaps in the trees overhead and even though it was still dark, light was beginning to creep up, turning the indigo to gray.

Agreed, he replied.

When we get to the City, we have to wake them all and get them moving. We won't wait for dawn. We won't wait for anything.

You're right, Sasha. I agree with you. We'll do it.

Nick can't know.

Of course not.

Instead of going first, we're going last. We're letting all of them get to safety before we try this, because we can't… we can't put them all at risk just for our own… our family.

Zev took a deep breath. She was right. Of course she was right. But every instinct within him fought the idea of waiting even a second.

If we go through, we're asking it to take us forward, right? That won't impact when they're reaching the females.

Except that when they take the females it's going to change everything. We don't know what they'll cruel. Like you enjoyed hurting him."

"I did," he admitted gruffly.

do in response to that. And if we get it wrong and accidentally show up in the secure lab tonight… we can't risk it, Zev. We have to do the sure thing first: Get the Thana Chimera into the gateway, then get the three guys over to grab the females. Then we go.

Zev nodded slowly. He didn't like it, but he knew she was right. It was wise. It just… he wanted to bite something.

But then Sasha's face dragged down. But… how do we get Nick to take us across without letting him know about the Gateway's time travel? And then… then maybe he can figure out the rest and stop us from getting across—shit, Zev, this is… this is impossible!

Zev growled and tightened his grip on her hand. No, Sasha, it's not. It's just dangerous, but we're going to do it anyway. Nick doesn't know that we can get into that lab without his help. And that's what we're going to do. He thinks we need him. We don't.

But what if we do? Sasha pleaded in his head. He makes me so angry, Zev, and I know he's hurt you so badly… but what if we do need him? Are we just hurting ourselves by not pursuing this more deeply with him?

No. Zev's lip curled again. Everything he says has to be examined and analyzed, and even then, even if he's telling the truth, we can't be sure what he isn't telling us. We have to do this without him, Sasha. I refuse to give him any reason to tell me he's my savior—or yours, or our baby's. He's not! Saving me from one death and sentencing me to another isn't saving me at all—it's just choosing where I die. It makes him feel like God. Don't let him suck you into that!

Sasha blinked, then stopped walking, pulling him to a halt too.

Zev turned to face her, his jaw set. He would argue this with her if he needed to.

But Sasha just stared up at him as if she was seeing him for the first time, all over again.

"What did he do?" she breathed. "I've never seen you like that, Zev. It was like… it was like you were cruel. Like you enjoyed hurting him."

"I did," he admitted gruffly.

"Why?"

Zev hesitated. He hadn't wanted to tell her. Hadn't wanted there to be one more pain between them. But the fact was, until she knew she was never going to understand—and he was never going to be certain of her.

He took a deep breath.