Ch. 451..460

Chapter 451

It was hard to move at first, then impossible not to. He was going home. To his new home. To the arms of his mate. And he had to make certain she was safe.

Mind fixed on her in the safe place, her surrounded by other Chimera and waiting for him, in this land that none of them knew, but where the humans could never reach them, Lhars stumbled forward, then as the Gateway blazed with blue-white light to guide him, he sprinted through.

He wasn't sure how long he ran, but he knew when the Gateway urged him around a turn and into a side-tunnel towards a gateway.

Heart pounding with excitement and fear in equal measure, he sprinted down the short tunnel and launched himself through the gateway—straight some of the freshest air he'd ever smelled as he tumbled out of the gateway—which had opened about ten feet into the air—and dropped to the leaf-strewn dirt.

He'd had to catch himself, so he stayed crouched for a moment as the Gateway closed above his head and he took in his new surroundings.

He was in a forest. A lush forest, thick with greenery and damp with recent rain, though there was no water in the air now. To his right, a massive tree loomed far overhead, to wide to see around without moving. Ahead and to his left, many more trees—trees, and vines, underbrush.

He'd made an awkward grunt when he landed and the forest was quiet nearby. But he could hear the leaves in the canopy overhead rustling in a fresh breeze.

His furs weren't needed. This place was far warmer than Thana, and as he straightened, looking in every direction for Kyelle and the others, Lhars began to unbutton his fur jacket.

Underneath he wore the black uniform of the team. The temptation was there to rip it off and never set eyes on the thing again. But he didn't know what he would face in this world, so he forced himself to keep it on, folding the fur over his arm as he turned a circle, taking it all in.

Thick, leathery leaves, larger than his hand—peppered both the trees, and the dirt. But apart from this difference—there were no pines to be seen, only large, leafy green trees—the forest felt like a familiar landscape. Perhaps flatter than Thana, but no less wild.

Yet, where were his people? Where was his mate? He'd asked to be taken to them, but he saw nothing.

As if the forest answered his unspoken question, a breeze lifted in the trees overhead and the leaves applauded him—and brought with that fluttering of air, the most delicious scent known to Lhars.

"Kyelle," he breathed and turned to face the wind, trotting into it immediately.

Following that scent for a bare minute—the wind growing stronger as the trees became more widely spaced and more sunlight began to filter between them, he circled another large tree to find a clearing beyond filled with dozens of bodies.

He froze, just for a moment, to be absolutely certain.

But his heart was singing.

Fifty feet away, Chimera clustered in groups and handfuls, some in families or packs, others in pairs of friends or mates.

There had to be over one hundred of them there already, and more like himself, filtering in from every side.

Even as he watched, half a dozen different males stepped out from between the trees, cautiously testing the air, before rushing forward to be greeted and embraced, sharing scents.

Lhars started forward too, his heart pounding.

They'd done it. They'd really done it!

Then his name came alive in his mind and he snapped his head to the left to find Kyelle, gaping at him from between two males who'd been talking to her, their backs to Lhars.

He shifted immediately and ran, galloping the distance between them, his furs ripping off as his body became something other, though the black clothing stretched with him.

Then he was human again and catching Kyelle, who threw herself into his arms, weeping with joy and saying his name over and over, in his head and with her mouth—

that beautiful mouth—those soft lips, that tongue that he tasted immediately, whimpering with need for her.

"You made it! You made it! Thank the Creator!" Kyelle sobbed against his lips, clinging to him and wrapping her legs around him.

*****

An hour later, Lhars stood, dumbfounded.

Over two hundred of the Chimera had reached them, and several of the hunters were already out scouting for others who might have forgotten to focus on being brought to Kyelle. Lhars hadn't left her side, though he'd been forced to remember that he was her second and had responsibilities here as well.

Kyelle had been focused on keeping the females calm and surrounded by safe males since they didn't yet know what predators were in this place. But he was indulging himself, holding her hand, or leaving a hand on her back when she had to turn away. And she'd called for everyone to come to her as needed, keeping him close to her side.

Every word they heard from the scouts only raised their spirits.

No scent of human anywhere.

Some creatures, but so far nothing beyond the smaller mammals they would use for food, and a few of the Creatures from Thana.

Just quarter of a mile from the clearing, a river ran through the forest, following the line of the mountains to the south. Mountains lined them on three sides, but Lhars wouldn't have cared if they'd been surrounded by rock as long as food and water sources existed, and the lack of human presence was confirmed.

He was so distracted by both his mate, and his duties, it took him over an hour to ask Kyelle if he was the last one through.

She dropped her chin and shook her head. "Not unless… unless some others were dropped somewhere far away. But everyone seems to be coming to this general area."

Lhars frowned. "Who isn't back yet?"

Kyelle rubbed his arm and looked at him with sympathetic eyes that just made him frightened.

"Zev and Sasha," she said quietly. "We haven't seen or smelled either of them yet."

 

Chapter 452

By the time evening fell and the sun began to disappear behind the mountains around them, Lhars had learned of over two hundred of the Chimera already within their ranks.

Many of the females were unwilling to move far, so planned to bed down together in clusters under the trees. But many more—both male and female—were excited to explore and had spent the previous hour or two looking for natural spaces to make themselves comfortable.

Still uncertain about what predators might exist in the land, Kyelle warned against large fires that night, though they did light a few in the lee of rocks or other places they were certain they could hide the light from potential onlookers.

No one was quite ready to believe they hadn't been followed, or wouldn't be interrupted by the humans. Though hopes and moods were running high.

Kyelle had been run off her feet dealing with both the females who struggled, and the decisions for how the Chimer would manage their first night in their new home.

Lhars had put a word in Skhal's ear, and the male was kind enough to both locate and obscure the entrance to a small cave, barely bigger than a bear's den, for Kyelle and Lhars.

His bag had been brought into this new land by his pack members, and though his resources were few, he was grateful for the furs he'd rolled and tied to his bag, and the set Kyelle had managed to bring as well. They weren't needed for warmth—at least, not yet. But Lhars laid them out to make a comfortable spot on the floor next to where he lit a small fire, more for light than heat.

He'd gathered some berries and some of the males had managed to hunt down a boar and some birds. There wasn't a large meal, but it was enough for everyone. And Lhars noticed that the females seemed much calmer after they'd eaten.

Ignoring the looming dread about Zev and Sasha—who still hadn't appeared, despite the fact that they were almost at their full numbers now—he kissed her desperately.

But even with all that provision, it was well after high moon when Lhars finally tugged Kyelle away from the females and into their spot to rest.

He'd barely spoken a private word to her all day, and his body quivered as he led her to the small cave—barely tall enough for both of them to walk inside without hunching.

But when she saw the fire and the furs, Kyelle whispered his name.

"Thank you," she said, smiling between him and the fire. "Thank you."

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, unable to find any words that accurately expressed his gratitude and disbelief that they were both there, and safe.

Ignoring the looming dread about Zev and Sasha—who still hadn't appeared, despite the fact that they were almost at their full numbers now—he kissed her desperately.

Kyelle threw her arms around his neck and leaned into his body, both of them sucking in deep breaths when their bodies met.

"Kyelle, I—" he croaked, stroking her cheek, but Kyelle shook her head.

"Not now. Right now I just want to enjoy you. We did it, Lhars. We did it." Then she began walking toward the furs, pulling him with her.

Lhars knew they should talk, knew that there were so many decisions still to be made. But he also knew that they both needed this, to be certain of each other, to be connected. As Kyelle shucked off the light furs she was still wearing because she hadn't taken time to change, Lhars yanked the black shirt off from behind his neck, and shoved the trousers down. Then, still on their feet, they rushed into each others arms.

Hands full of her softness, Lhars groaned and stroked and kissed, sucking at her lip, tickling her ear with his tongue, kissing her neck when she dropped her head back.

He was tempted to simply lift her leg and take her standing, but he wanted to wallow in her. So he urged her down, to the furs. And crawled over her as she lay back, smiling and beckoning him.

"Lhars," she sighed, her hands stroking his back, her leg hooking over his waist as he slid up her body, kissing and licking, then took one of her nipples in his mouth.

He arched over her, rubbing himself against her and she gasped, burying her fingers in his hair to keep him at her breast.

She gasped his name again and again as he rocked against her and that delicious slide rippled through him, raising goosebumps all over his body as they found each other again and again.

He couldn't wait. He needed her too badly, and so he braced on the furs on either side of her, let his head drop back and arched, pulling himself over her and into her in one jangling slide.

Kyelle's breath stopped and her nails dug into his back as they came together. Then he lowered himself over her and they tangled, limbs with limbs, lips with lips, tongues with tongues. Holding each other so closely there was no real room to move, so their body undulated, reaching for the joining, reaching for each other, skins slick and pebbled with pleasure.

"Kyelle," he gasped. "Dear god, I love you. I can't—"

"I'm here! I'm here! Oh!" Kyelle clenched around him, crying his name, and he didn't even care if other males heard her. Let them hear his beautiful mate in her pleasure. Let them know the gift they'd turned their noses up at. Let them see what they'd missed.

He had never missed her beauty, or her value.

He thrust again, grunting, and his orgasm barreled over him, like being by a shocking wave. He stared down at her, head arched back, mouth open on his name, her breasts bouncing, and he held her so tightly, so afraid that somehow, this was the end.

They both gasped, then slumped, rolling with the last of their releases, sighing each other's names. And then finally, were still.

For a moment neither of them moved. Then Lhars put his hand to her hair and began to stroke.

He swallowed tears. And he might have been embarrassed, but he could tell that Kyelle, too, was overcome.

When he had his breath back, he raised his head to look down on her again, to find her smiling up at him.

He took an image of her in his mind and called it joy.

And he decided that his goal would be to ensure he saw that expression on her face every day for the rest of his life.

 

Chapter 453

When they left the cave he'd known, though he'd been unwilling to say, that their time alone was limited. Not only would Nick be certain to go back and raise the alarm, but he suspected Sasha would have no real comprehension of just how determined the humans would be about finding them again.

While they may have threatened to end the project and kill the Chimera many times—and Zev knew those threats were real. He'd seen the notes on the meetings—he also knew that the Team had new hope as a result of he and Sasha's child. And that the Chimera were a rich resource that they would have stripped for as much money and power as they could.

To have them all simply disappear one day was not a blow the team would take philosophically.

He'd told her that they needed to be sure Nick actually left. And he knew he could easily hunt and provide food for them for the weeks they needed to stay.

He was less certain of being able to maintain her safety if the humans truly decided to throw all their resources into searching Thana.

So, when he began to run from the cave, instead of following the valley floor and the trail back towards the village, and then the City, he'd turned east, across the valley, then back up into the foothills of the mountain on the other side.

There was a place he knew, one he rarely used because it wasn't easy to reach, but it would give them both a view of the valley and anyone coming and going through it, and it would shelter them from the worst of the elements.

When he'd finally climbed to the small clearing on a flat divot out of the side of the mountain, Sasha had sighed with relief. She was exhausted—and both of them were frustrated. He'd shown her the small cave at the back of the clearing, nestled into the mountain, and he'd shown her how he could see the trail to the cave mouth from here—and anyone passing on it.

Sasha said she could squint and see if there was something moving. But that she couldn't see any of it clearly.

"That's okay, I'll watch," Zev said, his voice colder than he'd meant it to sound.

Sasha immediately frowned. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head.

How to tell her he was angry because he knew that even without Nick, the humans were still going to be haunting their lives? Were already haunting their lives simply by holding their son—but they needed the Team at this point. They needed them to keep their son alive.

He reminded himself of that. But it didn't stop his anger.

Although there were plenty of resources at the City and the village, Zev didn't want to risk travelling there until he was certain Nick was gone. So he hunted in wolf for and brought down two small birds that they roasted over a fire as the afternoon turned to evening, then twilight.

Sasha had watched the trail while he was gone and was certain no If he'd known Nick was gone, he might have run to the village to grab a few items just to make life a little easier.

one had arrived on it, from either side of the Gateway.

But that just set Zev's teeth further on edge.

If he'd known Nick was gone, he might have run to the village to grab a few items just to make life a little easier.

They'd sent their bags ahead with the pack, assuming they would be reaching the Safe Place that night. He hadn't prepared for this eventuality, and that felt like a failure, too.

Then finally, just as night was falling—which must have meant he was desperate, Zev, sitting on the outcropping facing the cave—saw two figures. One a human, shuffling with a limp, the other somewhat human, but with several extra limbs, scuttling along behind him.

Zev stood quickly, eyes locked on Nick's back.

Sasha tensed. "What is it?"

Zev didn't answer immediately. He lost sight of Nick behind a copse of trees for a moment, but then the bastard reappeared, on the last twenty feet to the cave mouth.

"Just watching a coward run from the burning ship," Zev said through his teeth, finally.

Sasha watched him, her face worried, but she just put a hand to his arm and didn't say anything. He was grateful. He didn't want to take his anger out on her.

*****

The next morning, Sasha woke in the cave alone. Zev had covered her in his furs that he'd been wearing, keeping himself just in the black clothing from the Team. Her back ached and her shoulder hurt from the odd angle of sleeping with her head resting on her arm. But at least she was alive.

Then she sat up because she also realized she was alone.

The gray light of early, early morning was creeping in through the open mouth of the small cave, and she got to her feet slowly, groaning, brushing herself off, and pulling Zev's jacket around her shoulders.

He was outside, on his belly, on the outcropping. He'd lain with her for a while after Nick left—when she'd fallen asleep. But obviously at some point he'd come out here. Because it was clear he hadn't slept.

When she stepped out of the cave, he turned to look at her, his eyes were dark and puffy.

"Stay down!" he hissed.

That's right. He'd warned her that while they were there they needed to stay low in the first half of the day because the light shone and would show their silhouettes to anyone watching from below. Sasha immediately crouched, looking around for intruders, but she couldn't seen anything but trees, rocks, and Zev. And he was just laying there.

He looked out into the valley and shook his head, beckoning her to stay low, but to come to his side.

She scrambled awkwardly towards him on hands and feet. He kept her low and urged her to stay on her belly as she crawled onto the rock next to him.

"Did you sleep at all?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"Oh, Zev, you don't have to guard me all the time. I promise. I trust you. You'll hear if anything comes near—"

"No, Sasha, it wasn't that. I couldn't sleep. I had a feeling. My instincts. And look, I was right."

He nodded out over the valley and Sasha pulled herself up to his side to look down. Then her mouth dropped open.

The trail from the cave, and the valley floor were crawling with people.

 

Chapter 454

She woke that morning with a groan and didn't open her eyes immediately, though her heart was pounding.

Even though they'd found plenty of grasses, and Zev had collected a couple of extra furs, she was still finding sleeping on the ground an adjustment.

Thud, thud, thud, her pulse sang in her head. It had started the first morning after they'd seen all the humans arrive. Between stress and usually waking without feeling Zev's warmth next to her, she'd woken up every morning with an adrenalin rush.

Two weeks. For two weeks they'd evaded the humans. It had taken them that long to move slowly out, in long spirals, from the City and the Village.

Sasha grimaced just thinking about the hordes of people they'd brought through, rifling through the City and the dwellings in the village. They'd crawled over the place like ants—and made her stomach twist in much the same way.

Like insects, you always wanted to be able to see where they were. But they were being smart. Thana was a large place, easy to hide large numbers of people—or Chimera. So the team were slowly searching, and leaving sentries anywhere they'd searched to make sure the Chimera didn't move in behind them.

That had been great for the first two weeks, but now, even though their numbers were a lot thinner since they were leaving people every half-mile in the forest, they had made their way almost to the cave from the village.

It had looked the day before like they'd be crossing the valley. At this rate they wouldn't be in Zev and Sasha's area for another few days, but it was like a ticking clock in her ear, threatening, always threatening.

The humans were coming.

The humans were looking for them.

The humans weren't giving up.

Zev had thought when they didn't find anyone in the settlements or nearby areas, they would have just destroyed the place and moved on. But the humans must have been very convinced that the Chimera were still in Thana, because they were relentless.

What were they going to do when they reached all the way to their hiding spot?

They spoke only in their heads now, just in case. And even that, very little.

Sasha was concerned about Zev. His eyes had become haunted. He still hunted every other day—in fact, had hunted up enough food for several days yesterday in fear that it wouldn't be safe to roam away from her soon.

Neither of them spoke about what they would do if the humans found them. Zev just kept saying he believed he could hide her.

But he wasn't sleeping. Barely ate. He'd lost weight. And he'd become snappish.

Sasha was more than concerned about him, she was downright worried. And still trying to convince him that they should try to sneak into the Gateway and come back to Thana at a time when Xar was Alpha and Zev was gone—because things were at least a little peaceful then, right? Even if it was screwed up. They could hide in that time and no one would know.

But Zev not only felt it was too risky to try for the Gateway when the humans were still using it every day, but also reminded her that while the humans couldn't scent, Chimera could. He said if they went back to that time, they'd be scented by someone within hours. And while they might put Sasha's scent down to an unknown team member, they'd know Zev.

He'd never heard tales or had anyone ask him about that. He believed that meant they'd never done it.

She had to trust his judgment, but it wore at her. What if he was wrong?

Worse, what if he was right and they really had nowhere to go? Just sitting there waiting for a human to stumble on them?

She sat up. It was still dark, but she knew from the way she felt that it must be almost dawn. She was falling asleep earlier every night, and waking earlier every morning.

Stress.

Also, there was little do when they couldn't risk making fires or smoke once the sun went down.

Well, they might have found ways to fill that time quite pleasantly, but Zev was… shut down.

Worried? Sasha was on the verge of panic. He hadn't touched her in over a week, and sometimes when he looked at her she saw flashes of that self-loathing.

She'd tried to talk to him about it the night before and he'd gotten up and walked away.

What the hell was happening to them.

She got up, wishing her clothes didn't feel like they were stiff and about to walk away on their own. She must reek, she knew. But she couldn't smell Zev. She prayed his sensitive nose wasn't offended by the stink of her. That he leaned into his animal nature on that. She was horrified.

Hustling slowly out of the cave, hugging the wall the way he'd shown her until she could make sure the coast was clear, Sasha leaned out to find Zev laying on the outcrop again.

Zev, she said softly in his head.

He turned slowly. His eyes were puffy and had circles that looked like dark bruises under them.

I'm okay, I've just been watching. And I've made a plan.

His voice was flat, even in her head, but he seemed a little less tense than he had been last night.

What do you want me to do? she asked hesitantly.

Bring the furs. It might be a difficult night, but we're going to need them as towels and to keep us warm while our clothes dry. We're going to wash ourselves and our clothes, because it might be a while before we can again, and I'm worried about your skin.

She was starting to get irritated patches of skin all over her body, but she was surprised he'd noticed. She hadn't mentioned it and they hadn't made love.

Of course, his eyes were good in the dark as well.

Okay, she said carefully. But, Zev… are you okay?

He narrowed his eyes. Of course I'm not okay. I've put my mate at risk, my people are gone, and my son is in the hands of the most fucked up people in creation. Of course I'm not okay! he repeated. Are you?

Well… when he put it that way.

 

Chapter 455

He hadn't explained what he'd meant. When he talked about getting ready that morning, she thought he'd meant they were going out that day. But he'd just kept them at the camp, eating and resting—even sleeping some, though he never seemed to sleep for more than forty-five minutes at a time. They were going to be up late, and moving around at night, he said. And it was a long hike, so he wanted her fed and rested.

She touched him as much as she could, and he always responded, turning to look at her when she brushed his arm, or squeezing her hand when she grabbed his.

He hadn't gone cold. He'd just… shut off. It was as if he did everything because it was instinct. The right response to the stimulus provided.

But his mind was always elsewhere, and his eyes were often clouded.

When he woke her from yet another nap in the now pitch-dark cave, she startled and he clapped a hand over her mouth.

There's no danger, he said in her head. The humans aren't moving at night. They keep lights on and stay in their places, which makes them really easy to avoid. This is when it's safest for us to travel.

We're traveling?

I just meant, we're going to be moving around. But, yes, I'm thinking about taking you higher on the mountain.

He'd talked about avoiding that earlier in the week because of the cold. He was concerned they didn't have enough furs.

She didn't question him, knowing he if took them higher it was because he was working to keep her safe.

They rolled up the furs and the few items they had collected—a few bunches of winter berries and the few leather straps and a flint that they'd found around the cave from previous inhabitants.

Then Zev used the straps to tie the rolled furs together into a massive cylinder and loop straps over his shoulders so he could carry them without using his hands. He took Sasha's hand, and led her out into the dark, reminding her again of all the ways she could move more silently in the forest.

And so they walked.

And walked.

And walked.

Up hills, and down, through creeks and streams in the low-lying areas, through snow in some of the higher ones. They crawled over boulders and used vines hanging from tree branches to pull themselves up places where the earth had fallen away in the rain.

Sasha was grateful that she'd been doing more physically since she came to Thana. Even so, her body was aching by the time they finally topped a rise then followed it back down into a little hollow where Zev finally sighed and spoke out loud for the first time in three days.

"We should be safe here for a while," he said calmly.

Sasha pulled up short and stared at him. "Is there a cave here?"

"There is, just around the hillside, that way," Zev said, nodding off to her right. "We'll go there before dawn. Right now, it's time to get warm and clean. Along with our clothes," he said grimly.

She wasn't sure why this seemed like such a big deal to him, but she was grateful when he pulled her beyond a few trees and thick underbrush to a spot where there was another large pool—very similar to the one he'd taken her to back at the village. Larger than the one they'd shared near the City, this one was a half-moon shape and bubbled up under a thicket of trees.

Sasha sighed happily when she saw the steam rising off the water.

The temptation was to plunge in, clothes and all, just to get in, but she was adult about it, and waited for Zev to unwrap the furs so they'd be ready when they got out, then they took their clothes off—Sasha's skin immediately pebbling—and walked gingerly (for Sasha) on bare feet to the edge of the pool.

They sank in slowly, carrying their clothes, and Sasha groaned when she finally had her whole body submerged.

The next half hour was taken up with Zev quietly explaining and demonstrating how to wash the clothes for the best result without soap—something they didn't have, and a scent easy to catch in the forest, even to a human nose.

The little lesson ended with him standing behind Sasha as he taught her how to scrub the furs on a rock, half-submerged in the water to remove any flakes or dirt from between the hairs.

By this time, her body had relaxed from the warmth of the water. So, when Zev reached around her to show her how to get a better angle on the fur and his chest pressed into her back in that perfect way he had of curling over her, her breath rushed out.

They both went still, their hands clutched in her furs. She swallowed.

"Zev…?"

"We shouldn't," he croaked. Sasha wanted to weep. He'd never had the control to say no like this.

"Why don't you want me anymore?" she whispered.

"Shit, Sasha, that's not it. I'm afraid of… getting distracted."

Neither of them moved. Every breath she took raised her back a little, so the skin of his chest brushed her.

She let go of the fur and turned within the circle of his arms, looking up at him. She could barely see his features in the dark, though his eyes were white with black holes, fixed on her. His breath coming faster.

Swallowing hard, she put one hand to his face, the other she stroked slowly up his thigh so he could stop her if he really wanted to, before she grasped him and began to stroke.

He groaned and his eyes closed. He dropped his chin so their cheeks brushed while she slowly pumped him and he grew in her hand.

"Zev, I—"

"Don't talk," he whispered. "If we… if we're going to do this, there needs to be quiet, even in my head, so I can hear anything else. Just in case."

She nodded and swallowed. Then she turned just enough to open her mouth on his and he gave another strangled groan.

 

Chapter 456

He still had his hands fisted in the wet furs spread over the rock behind her. When he let it go, it stayed there, the weight of it keeping it stuck to the flat rock.

At first he resisted. She kissed him and he kissed her back—enthusiastically, he'd missed her terribly, but he'd been terrified of missing something that put her in danger.

Soon, though, he couldn't think of anything but touching her. Fisting one hand in her hair and sliding the other to her waist, he pulled her in close and deepened the kiss.

And deepened it.

He wanted to devour her. Thankfully, she seemed just as hungry for him as he was for her, stifling her own groans and whimpers as she grasped at his chest and hooked a leg around his.

Leaning down, he kissed his way down her neck, pulling her up, half-out of the water to rest her ass on the wet furs and bring them together.

He'd meant to go more slowly, but she rubbed herself on him and had to break the kiss. She leaned back into his hands, her breasts fully out of the water and the cold night air prickling her already hard nipples to rivet points.

She leaned back on the rock, both arms back to brace, arching to press herself into his sucking kiss, her heels nudging his ass to urge him against her.

Zev groaned and gave up, rolling his hips and rubbing himself against her until he found her and almost took her.

She sucked in again, one hand slapping to his back to pull him in. She opened her mouth like she'd speak, but he took it in in a kiss as he thrust into her.

There was a noise she made when he entered her that threatened to steal his control every time. Half-gasp, half-sob, it was as if she was ecstatic to find him, and marveling at the universe in the same breath.

He understood the feeling.

Yet, she'd thought he suddenly didn't want her anymore? A growl rolled low in his chest and her fingers tightened on his back. Her mouth had fallen open when he entered her, but she was holding back—not even breathing.

Something about the enforced silence made everything else feel that much more.

He wanted to say her name, to tell her how stunning she was, laid out in front of him, arched back over the rock, braced on one arm, but the other up to grab at his shoulder, her legs curled around his lower back, her breasts shining from the water, and bobbing in the low light until he had to look back at her face because he was going to come watching that.

He couldn't tell her how beautiful she was, but he could show her. Worship at the temple of her body, silently kiss his devotion into her skin, pray for her pleasure.

He leaned down into her ear and rasped, "Hold on."

She bit her lip as he curved one hand behind her neck, then grasped her thigh with the other and began to rock into her, leveraging his own weight against hers.

Sasha's breath caught with every thrust, but she didn't make a sound that any human would hear.

Zev, gasping with his own need, and almost weeping at the joy on her face, was overwhelmed. His body screaming for her.

She clapped a hand to his neck and clung to his rock behind her, her mouth open but not breathing as he slid deeper and deeper, then pulled all the way out to start again.

Her head fell back, a silent cry on her lips, and he nipped at her throat, swallowing his own groan when her skin pebbled again, then opening his mouth over the spot to soothe it.

Then, as their pleasure grew and their desperation with it, they settled into a rhythm. Sasha giving resistance by bracing, Zev pulling her onto him in thrusts that made the water ripple around his hips.

A tiny, keen whimper broke from her throat. Her eyes were closed as she gave herself over to the pleasure of him.

Unable to resist, he lifted a shaking hand from where he'd cupped her neck, to stroke her face, her neck, her breasts. Then he cupped her jaw and leaned in to kiss her so frantically, she trembled and sucked on his tongue.

Zev!

She gasped into his kiss, then stifled whatever else she'd been about to say in his mind, remembering his command to be quiet.

Sasha, he groaned in her head. Look at me.

Her eyes flew open and he held her gaze, still loving her with his body more desperately with every moment.

I love you. I will always want you. Always.

I always want you too!

Only you, Sasha, he rasped. Forever.

I love you, Zev! she cried. Don't stop!

He bit his lip and pounded into her again.

She went silent in his head again as he groaned and leaned over her, bracing on the rock, sliding his hand down to her lower back and pulling her against him. His thrusts were ragged, jolting, the water slapping and rippling from the force of their movements.

Her breath came short puffs, but she didn't speak as she tightened around him again and again, her sweet heat calling to him.

A minute later, her breath was ragged, but she still hadn't found her climax. He couldn't leave her like this—but his body was screaming for release.

So shifting slightly, murmuring at her to hold onto him and not let go, he reached between them, finding the spot where they joined with the pad of his thumb and pressing up, again and again, rubbing over that bundle of nerves until she not only clenched around him, but began to keen.

Then, on his fifth pass, as he thrust, she sucked in to scream his name, and he took her mouth, swallowing her cries until she shuddered and went loose in his arms, just as his orgasm slammed through his body like an electric current.

He made a strangled cry as he tried not to make sound, rocking and shuddering as the wave swept over him. Then they both collapsed, boneless and shaking.

 

Chapter 457

There was a quiet, perfect moment where they lay together, Zev's weight pressing her into the wet furs behind her, but not uncomfortably so. His breath fluttered in her hair, and his fingers stroked her arm as they both caught their breath. She was warm from the time in the water and… relaxed for the first time in what seemed like weeks.

Zev sighed but didn't push up and away. Sasha turned her head to look at him and their eyes caught from just inches. She didn't speak, just stared at him and prayed he could see the love in her eyes.

His hand came up to trace away a couple of damp strands of hair that must have stuck to her temple.

"I'll always want you, Sasha," he said, his voice low and gruff. "Don't ever doubt that."

"But… you haven't touched me since we came back to Thana."

"Because I'm terrified I'll be distracted and they'll sneak up on us," he admitted, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I literally pulled you out here for a bath to try and get us far enough away that I could relax. But it feels wrong. Like I'm putting you at risk. There are no guards anymore, no one else to rely on."

Sasha frowned, he was carrying so much. "Thank you," she whispered, putting a hand to his handsome face. "Thank you for always watching out for me."

"I told you I'd protect you when I was eighteen years old, Sash. I haven't forgotten," he said simply.

She had to blink away tears. "I just don't want you blaming yourself if… if something goes wrong. You can't fight the whole world, Zev. If we get hurt… it's not your fault."

"Are you kidding? I'm the one who even brought you here."

"To protect me from them."

He snorted humorlessly. "That doesn't make me a hero. You would never have been in danger if it weren't for me."

"They're the danger, Zev. Not you."

He was about to argue when something cracked quietly in the trees behind them. Zev flew away from her, shouting in her head for her to STAY DOWN!

Gasping, Sasha rolled over and let herself sink low in the water so only her face was above the surface, keeping herself low and close to the rock and underbrush behind it, praying whoever was there couldn't see her.

Zev leaped out of the water to his feet on the other side of the rock in a crouch. He was naked, his skin steaming from the warm pool, but he placed himself between her and the noise, one hand back to urge her to stay down and away.

Hunched over his own knees, he peered through the bushes, his chest expanding and contracting quickly, but silently. Then he went very still, not even breathing.

What is it? she asked in his head.

Zev shook his head, then shifted into his wolf and slipped into the bushes, barely making them wobble despite his size.

Suddenly alone and aware of her own nakedness, Sasha began to shiver from fright, not cold. Had the Team found them? Was she going to have to face some leering guy with a gun, watching her as she got out of the pool?

Knowing that would put her in a position far too weak, and make Zev absolutely furious, she started slowly, slowly bobbing her way back through the pool to the other bank where they'd left the dry furs. But how to get out without making noise? Even if she moved slowly the dripping water—

It's okay, Sash. It's Horton.

Sasha blinked but could breathe a little easier.

Who the hell is Horton?

He's one of the creatures. He chose to stay here. He's just… stay in the water, I'll go talk to him and find out what's going on, then I'll come get you, okay?

Sasha agreed and after a moment of looking around, lay back in the water to try and breathe. Her heart was pounding and when her ears went underwater she heard it like timpani drums inside her skull.

This sucked.

She didn't even want to cry. She wanted to scream. Her entire body shook with residual fear and they hadn't even actually been in danger.

How the hell were they going to do this for another two months?

She waited, breathing in through her nose, out through her mouth, trying desperately to calm herself because she didn't want to leap down Zev's throat the minute he got back. But she wasn't enjoying all the silence either.

Reaching out to him in her mind, she asked him to show her what he was seeing and hearing.

He didn't respond, just… shared what he could see.

The creature in front of him made her shudder. He was once again almost human—he stood upright on two very thick legs, his entire body the same width from his shoulders to his hips and his feet planted, legs like tree trunks.

His arms were also really thick and seemed too long. They bent the wrong way as if he had knees instead of elbows. But his face….

His skull was broad—supported by that thick body. And instead of a nose, he had a small trunk. It moved, probing the air as he talked. His voice was a low rumble. So low, she couldn't really make out the words. But Zev was sharing with her what he was learning. And it turned Sasha's stomach.

While Sasha and Zev had stayed high in the mountain on the other side of the valley, the Team had overrun first the village, then the City itself—and the forest in between. Hundreds of them, like ants crawling through the trees.

Most of the creatures smelled them before they got near enough to do damage. Some ran, hoping to hide. While others turned to fight.

Whenever those brave creatures came face-to-face with the humans, there was no quarter. Weapons were raised. Strange weapons that Sasha didn't recognize, though they looked like weird guns. But she saw it over and over again—humans not calling for peace, or asking questions. Just pointing weapons that made a horrible noise—at least, that's what it looked like to Sasha. She couldn't hear or feel whatever they were sensing. But Horton showed Zev, over and over again, creatures crumpling to the ground, grabbing their heads, or screaming in pain.

 

Chapter 458

Horton explained to Zev that as word spread that the humans were hunting to kill and some of the creatures became aggressive.

They attack out of fear.

He accompanied the statement with images of creatures in full charge—running towards their enemies, snorting their challenge—and falling to the dirt in crumpled heaps, as soon as they reached twenty or thirty feet from the humans.

And always, in the end, the humans made certain that the creatures were dead, then just left them there.

The forests of Thana were littered with bodies. All strange. All unique. All guilty of nothing more than wanting to protect themselves and their friends.

Sasha cried. It was so tragic and unnecessary. Then her anger rose to choke her and Zev murmured to her to stay calm. That he was struggling to control his own rage and he needed to stay in his right mind.

Sasha nodded and did her best to breathe and calm herself, but it was hard. So hard

Then she heard, in her head, Zev offer his feelings. She didn't know a better way to say it. Like sharing scents, the Chimera gave themselves in empathy to others. They didn't make a big show of it, but she felt Zev just… be in the emotion with the Creature.

"Thank you, Zev-dan," Horton snuffled. "But can you make the humans leave? Can you not convince them to go and leave the rest of us?"

Zev sighed so heavily that Sasha felt it all the way back at the pool. In her mind, she reached for him, imagined rubbing his back and holding him as he tried to answer this male honestly, without breaking his spirit.

*****

~ ZEV ~

He felt like he staggered under the weight of an enormous boulder of guilt. This male stared at him, pleading with his eyes.

But Zev didn't have hope to offer. Not real hope.

"I'm afraid it's too late, Horton. All we can hope for at this point is to avoid them. Tell them. Tell all of them to move as far from the humans as they can, as many miles away as is possible. And circle them if you see them coming. Avoid. Don't attack. They will leave eventually when they're convinced the Chimera aren't hiding here from them."

"But they are sight-blind! How do we convince them of this until they've killed us all in the search?!"

Zev dropped his face into his hands. How. That was the question. "I don't know," he said honestly. "But I know that attacking them will only make them bring more people through—more weapons. Avoid them, Horton. Tell everyone to avoid them."

"What have you brought on us, Zev-dan? What have you made them believe? They have always avoided us in the past!"

Zev shook his head. "They aren't looking for you, Horton. They're scared of you. They're killing because they're afraid you'll kill them."

"We will!"

Zev took a deep breath and met the male's eyes. "It won't work. There's too many of them," he said quietly. "Please… warn everyone to stay away."

"But, Zev, you have to understand, most of them can't move. They've found their homes. They've found the only place in the world that's theirs. They guard it instinctively."

"I know, I know…" Zev raked his hand through his hair, awash with guilt. "I'm sorry, Horton. I can't sacrifice my mate to them to get them to leave—I don't think it would even work anyway. By now they're realizing that the Chimera really are gone and they're… they're taking revenge, I think."

Horton shook his head, his face tight with anger and dismay. "We pay the price for the Chimeran defection," he hissed.

"I'm sorry." Zev couldn't argue. He was right. He prayed the male wouldn't become aggressive. But instead, Horton just glared at him, then turned on his heel and began to walk away. "I will tell them your words, Zev. But I don't think they'll listen. They will not appreciate them."

"Horton—"

"Goodbye, Zev. I pray you and your mate remain safe."

Zev slumped as the male melted into the trees and was gone, his scent fading quickly. When he was sure Horton wasn't going to circle around and try to harm Sasha, he turned around and went back to her directly, finding her still in the water, but crouched low, near the edge of the pool.

"That was awful," she whispered, beckoning him closer.

But Zev couldn't take any more comfort in her that night. He'd already given himself far too much slack. When that twig had cracked—Horton's attempt to warn him so that Sasha wouldn't become embarrassed, apparently even the Creatures had heard about her feelings about being seen naked—his heart had almost climbed out of the top of his skull. He'd been convinced they'd somehow been followed by the humans and were about to fight for their lives.

He'd been relieved to see Horton, but now…

Now he just felt sick.

And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He wouldn't leave his son in that lab. He wouldn't leave his mate vulnerable—he couldn't! That meant he chose his own family over the Creatures and… that sickened him. The kind of mercenary decision that the humans made all the time.

But what choice did he have?

None. That was the pure truth.

Beckoning Sasha out of the water, he held up a fur, turning it hide-side-out to wrap her in to dry, then when most of the water had been absorbed from her pink skin, turning it around to the fur side to wrap her.

Only her feet were left exposed.

Which was why he'd left their fur boots out of the water and not washed them. They would need to find some way to clean them soon. But it was no use keeping her clean if she lost toes in the process.

She stared up at him as he knelt to hold her boots out for her so she wouldn't have to bend over and leave the fur gaping. He knew she got cold easily.

She braced on his shoulder to balance, sliding her feet into the boots as he held them. Then she pulled him into her fur and they stood, holding each other, for a very long time.

 

Chapter 459

The following days were a blur of grief and worry. Zev led Sasha from the pools to a small, hidden cave on the eastern side of the mountain, believing that the humans would come from the west when they approached, which meant they could safely build a fire inside.

They'd lost their ability to watch the activity in the valley, and that was making Zev even tenser. After his conversation with Horton, he took to patrolling morning and evening, looking for any sign that the humans were approaching and they needed to move again.

He admitted that he hoped they'd give up before they got that far, knowing the Chimera had never habited this side of the valley because of the lack of food sources to support a society. But he always said the words with a distinct tone of hopelessness.

Once, he took her high up the mountain—the climb took all morning—to a spot where she'd no longer be able to see clearly and so the humans themselves would be unlikely to spy their movement. From there, Zev climbed a tree to scan the valley, because his sharp eyes could still see form and movement near the cave.

He came down the tree and barely spoke, jaw flexing and hand tight on hers, he led her down the mountain as quickly as he dared.

She kept asking him in his head what he'd seen, and he kept saying nothing new—but that was the point, he explained finally. They hadn't stopped searching. They weren't giving up. They were persistent. Like rats.

His rage was white-hot and made Sasha afraid that he would be eaten up by it.

When they finally made it back to the cave, she was exhausted, but Zev just paced and paced, like a caged… well, wolf, she supposed.

When she asked him a question twice because he didn't answer the first time, he snapped at her to leave him to his thoughts.

Sasha blinked and shook her head. Zev caught himself and stopped pacing, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry," he murmured a moment later.

Sasha got to her feet and went to him. "Zev, you have to stop blaming yourself. We'll get out of here. We will!"

He dropped his hands and stared at her, his beautiful eyes fierce and haunted. "How, Sasha? Do you realize we can't even get to the Gateway right now? There are dozens of humans going in and out of the cave every day. If they don't stop bringing people through, if they don't stop going back and forth, we won't even reach it without being captured. Have you thought of that?"

Sasha swallowed. She hadn't thought that far, actually. He was right.

"We'll work it out. We always do."

Zev snorted derisively and shook his head. He opened his mouth, his lips twisting like what he was about to say tasted bad. But then he caught himself again and turned away.

"What? What is it?" Sasha pressed.

"Nothing," he growled and started for the cave mouth. "I'm going to go do a patrol and make sure no one's showed up in the area while we were gone. Please stay here and don't make any noise!"

Then he stormed out into the evening dusk.

Sasha sat down on the thick log he'd dragged in for them to use as seats in front of the fire, and she wept.

*****

Zev was always gone at least a couple of hours when he went on patrol, so Sasha made herself eat some of the berries and mushrooms they'd found, and put a new log on the fire. But she was exhausted from the hiking, and bored, and still felt like she could burst into tears at any moment.

Her beautiful Zev was being broken by this. She could feel it in him. He was losing his sweetness and returning to the weapon they'd trained him to be—always focused on the danger, always looking for the out. It was ironic that it was the very threat that when he came back—so she could offer him some support—was a good idea. He'd wake her when he came in.

had made him, that now turned him against them. But that didn't change that she felt like she was losing him, and they still had weeks in Thana before they could reach their son.

How was she going to bring him back?

Feeling depressed and frustrated, she stripped off and got between the furs to keep warm that way. Zev was at least an hour away, and sitting her angsting about it all wasn't going to help. She needed to get comfortable and relaxed and be able to offer him some kind of comfort or joy when he got back.

She took a deep breath. They needed to make love. That was part of the problem. If he'd just scouted and was feeling confident that they were still alone on that side of the mountain, hopefully she'd be able to convince him. They needed that connection. That sense of togetherness. And he needed to be reminded how much she loved him.

Nodding to herself, confident that this was the best plan and that as long as there wasn't an emergency, she'd put all her effort into convincing him when he got back, Sasha lay with her head on her arm, staring at the flames as they crackled a few feet from the furs.

Her eyes began to droop. At first, she fought it, but then she realized that being rested when he came back—so she could offer him some support—was a good idea. He'd wake her when he came in.

So she rolled over and let herself drift, thinking about all the delicious ways she could prove her love to him when he arrived.

She sighed and her body drooped. As sleep crawled over her, she let herself dwell on the memory of their time at Yhet's cav, and his joy at having her. His smile. His gentle hands and bright tone.

She would bring that Zev back if it was the last thing she did. That was the true heart of her mate. He was losing it, but she was going to make sure he found his way back again. Or die trying…

 

Chapter 460

Sasha woke to a scuffing footstep on the cave floor. Blinking, at first all she could see was the embers of the fire—low and barely flaming now, though the coals were red-hot and glowing. The rest of the cave looked black behind that.

The shadow of Zev standing in the middle of the cave startled her at first—the moonlight just bright enough outside the mouth of the cave to cast him in silhouette behind the fire.

"You scared me," she breathed, pushing up to sit. The furs fell to her waist, but she was warm and didn't care.

Zev barely moved.

Sasha blinked and looked up at him, rubbing her eyes. "Are you okay? Was there a problem?"

He shook his head and her heart sank.

Zev, what is it? she asked in his head. I want to help you. Please, let me in.

He stepped forward, circling the fire slowly, his face finally coming into focus in the warm glow of the low flames. But his eyes… his ice-blue eyes were shadowed. The low light of the fire coming from under his chin cast the rest of his face in sharp relief—his high cheekbones looking almost pointed, his cheeks gaunt for the deep shadows in them. His brows were prominent and his eyes sunken. Except for those glowing blue orbs that seemed to pull light from the dark around them and shine out at her.

"Zev, I—"

"I'm sorry, Sash," he said, and his voice was hoarse. "I'm sorry. I know I've been so dark. I'm just… I'm so scared."

"Oh, Zev…" She pushed out of the furs and to her feet as he hurried to her. She pulled him close, burying her face in his chest. His furs were freezing from the cold outside, but he wrapped her in his arms and dropped his chin over her head.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he kept murmuring.

"Stop apologizing!" she whispered. Then lifted her head to meet his eyes again—that looked so haunted still. "Zev, you told me an Alpha just… takes what's necessary. What's needed. You're doing the right thing. They're the ones to blame for the death, not you. You don't want people dead!"

"I want them dead," he muttered, watching her for her response.

"Well… Yeah, I guess I kind of do, too. But you know what I mean. We aren't hunting these people down to murder them. Not like they're doing. Horton was hard on you. I wish he hadn't done that. But I'm guessing he was scared too. We're all scared. But let's be scared together. Not… not like this. Please. Stop shutting me out."

He made a strange noise in his throat and pulled her tighter against him, but he was still tense, still holding himself back.

Frustrated and desperate, Sasha grabbed his face and pulled him down into a kiss. He tried to back away, but she followed him until his shoulders hit the wall of the cave behind him.

When he dropped his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, Sasha wanted to scream. She put her hand to his face and whispered his name urgently, until he let his chin drop and finally met her eyes.

"Be here, with me. Let it all go, Zev. We can't change it. Please."

She could feel his arousal, but she focused on kissing him, unbuttoning his jacket, and pushing it off his shoulders. His breath hissed out between his teeth when she started on his trousers, but he tensed. She feared he'd pull away again. So once she'd pushed those down and he'd kicked them away, she reached between them and brought him up, palming him, stroking him as they kissed.

Zev sucked in, and his kiss intensified, his hands fisted in her hair and at her back, his breath thundering in her ear. He trembled, but not the way he usually did when he was desperate. It was the shudder of fear.

Zev, please… she whispered in his head. Feel me. Be here with me. Please.

She took his hand and placed it on her breast and he sucked in again, whimpering into the kiss, growing more desperate.

Then he began to sink, his back sliding down the wall.

At first she was dismayed, certain he was giving up, about to break.

But when he got to the floor, her standing between his knees, he looked up at her, his eyes bright and terrified, but clear. He cupped the backs of both her calves and pulled her gently forward.

"Come here," he rasped.

Heart trilling with hope, Sasha stepped over his hips, then sank down to straddle him so they were brought together.

Zev groaned and pulled her into a kiss that grew frantic quickly. But, knowing he walked a knife edge, Sasha forced herself to focus, to stay slow, so savor every touch, every kiss, every slide of him against her.

It was difficult to stay quiet. Her entire body quivered with a need that was more emotional than physical, but there was no doubt she wanted him.

His hips began to roll and her head dropped forward to rest on his shoulder as she ground against him.

She wanted to tell him all the reasons she needed him—not just his protection. Not just his strength. She wanted to whisper her love. But every time she opened her mouth, he took it with his. But his touch got stronger too, more confident, needier. So she let her head fall back and just responded to his touch.

She knew why he wanted quiet, so she kept herself to panting breaths and stroking tongues, instead of joyful cries.

This angle gave her access to him in a way she wasn't used to. They'd done this once before, when he was hurt, out in the snowy valley below Yhet's cave. But this felt different. More desperate in its way, but more… connected, too. Sitting over him with his shoulders back against the wall, she could rake her fingers through his hair and, arching her back, let her nipples tease against his chest. Her breath came fast and shallow as Zev's desperation for her grew, as he threw off the shackles of his fear and anger, and gave over to her, grasping at her hips and pulling her down and against him.

For a long time they just rolled and rubbed, stroked and panted. Sasha could feel her cheeks heating, feel the low warmth of the fire behind her, but also the chill air.

Zev's eyes were hooded, heavy, watching her, his breath tearing in and out as she met him roll for roll, urging him to unhinge. But it was clear he wasn't going to be the instigator tonight, so Sasha took their future in hand—literally—reaching between them and raising herself to position him, then sinking onto him with a low, rolling groan.

Zev jolted like he'd been electrocuted. A whine pierced the air of the cave, then she began to ride him and his breath shuddered as her head dropped back, mouth open in a silent moan. She had to hold her breath to stop herself from crying out when he finally began to really move, slowly at first, pressing into the peak with every thrust.

With a low growl, Zev latched on her neck, sucking, holding her at her hips, pulling her against him as he pressed up, into her. And for Sasha, it was a shocking onslaught, both physical and emotional, as if he filled her every sense, and every hollow—in her heart and her body.

They found the rhythm filled with promise, and instead of seeking him, it seemed like he'd found her. They moved in harmony, the waves of pleasure increasing and easing, but never fading away.

Sasha's head dropped back and her hair brushed his knees, but she was struggling to stay quiet, so held her breath at every peak, until her skin came alight with a new intensity she'd never felt before.

It was as if every cry she swallowed roared back down into her chest, her belly, to feed the flames between them, then urge her to call for him again.

Zev's breathing was desperate against her throat, his hands grasping as they rocked together again, and again, and again.

Then, with a small cry, he sat up, his hands dragging down her back and pulling her hard against him as he drew his knees up behind her. Then, staring down at her through the dark tines of his hair, he pressed her back against his long thighs, until she arched back over his knees, her breasts pressed up.

With a groan, he leaned forward to open his mouth over the peak of first one breast, then the other. Sasha gasped, her skin sparkling, fizzing, anywhere he touched. She breathed his name over and over, her fingers buried in his hair and holding him to her.

Then Zev kissed his way up her chest, her neck, to her jaw, then her mouth, his breath hot and heavy, his tongue tracing hers in a pulsing slide that matched the roll of his hips.

She could do nothing but hold on, clinging to him as he kept up that relentless pace, pulling her onto him, his hands, his limbs, even his breath shaking with restrained desire.

Sasha buried her fingers in his hair, pulling him in and leaning her head aside to give him better access when he dropped to kiss his way back down her neck.

Then he sat up, shuddering, and she could feel him about to break. His hands became grasping, his strokes heavy and she loved it, arching into his touch like a cat.

Then there was nothing left but sensation. Love. Desire. Passion.

A strangled cry broke in his throat as he gripped her and began to pound into her so hard his hips lifted from the ground. Sasha rode him, gripping his shoulders, her breasts bouncing.

And just as her body exploded, Zev growled her name, grinding into her, wringing every last wave of heat and joy out of her.