Ch. 71..80

Chapter 71

The moment he'd won the fight he could smell her. She was there. Somewhere very close—Yhet, too, which was a relief. He couldn't smell Kyelle nearby, which made him breathe easier, too.

Rayf lay on the cold ground, shaking his head. Zev regretted that he'd needed to floor the male, but Rayf was doing him a favor by not letting him win. Still, he hadn't been kind. He needed to save both energy and strategy for later fights with the family group Alphas.

He stood over the male trying to ignore the intoxicating scent of his mate—he would make them let him take her his mate or die trying—and stared down at Rayf.

"Don't make me hurt you further, please, Rayf. I take no joy in it. I thank you for acknowledging me. I know what you did here. I owe you."

"It should never have come to this," Rayf said, shaking his head again, but he didn't meet Zev's eyes. "I submit," he growled a moment later.

With a sigh of relief, Zev leaned down and extended a hand to help the older male to his feet. Zev clapped a hand to his upper arm and thanked him again.

Rayf was still trying to clear his head, but he made it up and stomped his feet. "Don't thank me yet. You have a long way to go," he muttered.

"You've saved me some time. I'm grateful."

The older male grunted, then looked over his shoulder. Suddenly his voice was live in Zev's mind.

Your brother will stand in your way if he can. He has enjoyed his power. He sits at Xar's feet, he warned Zev.

Zev's upper lip curled, but he only nodded, then turned away, careful not to face the direction Sasha and Yhet stood.

She hated it when he fought. She would look at him—search him for injury—he knew, and he couldn't let her do it. If she acknowledged him, she placed herself at the bottom of the ladder in the hierarchy. Males at every level would believe themselves worthy of her then.

A low growl rumbled in his throat at the idea of all those males displaying for her, but he kept walking, darting out into the trees. He prayed news of Rayf's defeat would travel quickly, because Zev knew who he needed to find next, and that male wasn't here. It would be easier to force Skhal to see him if he'd already heard about Zev's progress.

The back of his neck prickled then, his skin warming.

She was watching him. He would have bet his life. He could feel her eyes like fingers trailed through his hair.

I will fight for you and I will win, he said in her head—and felt her surprise. Be patient. I have not left. I never left. I'm still here. I will fight. And I will win.

He shouldn't have done it. It was a risk that she would tell someone and they'd consider it an acknowledgment. But he was weak. He'd only just found her, only just touched her and talked to her again, and he'd had to leave… His gut twisted at what that must have done to her.

With a sigh he removed his shoes and tied them to a loop on the waistline of his trousers, made for exactly this purpose. Then he leaped into his wolf and ran.

To hell with waiting for word to travel. He needed to find Skhal.

*****

The male was on patrol, winding back and forth across the valley searching for the scent of intruders, or humans. Still in wolf form, Zev finally picked up his trail twenty minutes trot outside of the village. Swallowing back the howl of pursuit, he made himself slow and keep his nose to the wind.

The trail was a couple of hours old. Skhal lived on the edge of the village and preferred to spend most of his time alone. If he'd slept until his shift on patrol it was possible his old teacher hadn't heard about Zev's arrival, or that he'd been cast out. Which meant Zev had to decide whether to warn him—or use surprise to his advantage in making the older male submit.

He huffed a breath out of his nostrils and trotted on silently, deep into the forest. This was turning out to be a day for humbling his former heroes, and he didn't relish the idea. But it was necessary, and he was willing to do a helluva lot worse to keep Sasha safe—and with him.

Which made me think back on how he'd been set on this path.

Xar had to have known Zev wouldn't just roll over and take this? What was the male thinking, casting him out? He had to know he was pushing Zev towards challenging for Alpha?

Zev had intended to submit to whomever was in power when he returned—acknowledging his own retreat as a failure, and willing to help whomever had stepped in. But Xar seemed determined to make an enemy of Zev, and he'd rolled over and shown his testicles to the humans. Why? Xar was a strategist, and a skilled fighter. Why would he give away so much power—

There was no sound, only the barest flash at the corner of his vision—silver fur and white teeth—then he was tumbling sideways, snarling and internally cursing himself for not concentrating while on the trail of a wolf like Skhal.

Skhal was cunning and had either heard him coming, or been watching for him and doubled back to ambush him.

They rolled, snarling and snapping, and Zev twisted out of his jaws and scrambled to his feet, whipping around to face the older wolf with the scar that crossed his eye, both of them growling deep and long.

Traitor!

The word, shouted in Zev's mind, echoed through his heart, too. Because even though he knew he'd done everything in his power to protect his people, he'd also been na?ve—and mistaken. He understood why they believed he'd abandoned them.

Sasha too.

And now he had yet another barrier before he could explain why.

Cursing the god who was determined to plague his existence, he turned on the wolf, jaws wide and launched himself straight for the male's neck.

He would end this.. Then he would explain.

 

Chapter 72

He stood over his former teacher, teeth bared and snarling, when the male, his silver fur dripping red in spots, disappeared to be replaced with a naked human body, slumped and cursing.

Zev didn't shift immediately, still showing his teeth. But he stopped growling and waited. When the male didn't meet his eyes, he growled in the male's head, Do you submit?

"For fuck's sake, Zev, yes!" Skhal snapped. "And for what it's worth, you look ridiculous in those clothes in your wolf. No wonder Xar cast you out."

Zev returned to his human form, chuckling reluctantly. "Looks ridiculous, but it works," he said, pinching at the remarkable fabric at his stomach. Not only would it stretch in any direction to fit his wolf body so that he didn't lose the clothes when he shifted, but it was impossibly warm. As long as he didn't stand still for too long, it was all he needed, even in the snow. "I notice you weren't able to get a grip on me," he grinned at the male on the ground.

But Skhal scowled. "I could have caught those shoes hanging at your belt—be grateful I wasn't of a mind to kill you. That's an unwise addition. Human gifts, human curses. They give you something to help and it could just as easily get you killed."

Zev let his face go hard. "Go ahead and try," he said through his teeth.

But the male just rolled his eyes and flapped a hand, his chest still rising and falling quickly from their tussle. "You're terrifying, Zev," he said dryly. "But enough of the display, I'm not wearing your Alpha crap. You're no better than Xar. In fact, you're worse. You went to the humans willingly!"

"Bullshit," Zev growled. "Thana is home. I left because I didn't believe there was a choice."

Skhal pushed up to sit, his shoulder bleeding badly enough to trickle down his back. Zev looked at the wound, then back to the male's face.

"Do you want me to go get a healer?"

"Fuck off," Skhal snarled. "They wouldn't acknowledge you anyway. I've fallen in the ranks since you left. You've still got a long way to go. And a lot of explaining to do."

Zev grunted, then only slightly warily offered his former teacher a hand. "I didn't leave because I didn't care. I left because they convinced me that if I didn't, it would be the end of the Chimera."

"And you fell for that? You were even more na?ve than I thought."

Zev clenched his jaw, but it was only true. "Well, I'm not anymore," he said darkly. Then looked around. "Do you have any clothes nearby?" he asked carefully as the male got to his feet. Skhal had already been prickly about showing weakness before Zev left. If he'd dropped in the ranks since Zev last saw him, he'd be even more sensitive about it.

But surprisingly, Skhal only muttered something about blunt, thoughtless pups, and brushed the snow and dirt off his ass and thighs. "I have a den not far away," he said sullenly.

Most Chimera kept stocks of clothing and food hidden in various spots around Thana in case a swift shift was needed. Especially in the winter. The snows began in autumn and lasted near five months in Thana, giving way late in the season to the spring rains, then a short, hot summer, then the land turned back to the glorious colors of Autumn, before the snows came again. Technically winter had begun in earnest a few weeks earlier, but the snow wouldn't disappear for another three months.

"Do you want me to run for you? That wound needs to be allowed to close or you'll be weakened."

"I've bled more blood than you've made in your life, Zev. And the cold doesn't touch me like it used to. Stop worrying about me, and keep yourself on task. If you're truly back, you have a fucking mountain to climb to get back to Alpha."

"I didn't come for Alpha."

"You'll need it if you want to take the female. Xar won't let you have her any other way."

"Xar doesn't get to choose—she does. I just need to be acknowledged by the tribes again—"

"Don't bet on it. He changes the rules almost daily at this point. Something smells wrong on him." Then he eyed Zev like he was measuring him for a suit. "If you're serious that you were deceived, if you really left out of concern for your people, not personal ambition, prove it."

"How?"

"You need to take Alpha back, Zev. We are weak and vulnerable, the humans visit almost every week now—and sometimes they aren't even dealing with us!"

Zev frowned. "What? What are they doing?"

"Who knows? We're not supposed to leave the village while they're here. They're researching something, they say. All I know is, enough of them are coming, and Xar keeps us isolated enough that we don't know how many humans are here—or what they're doing. Do you know he called us back from the hunt last week when they arrived unannounced?"

"He did what?!" The hunt was crucial. Especially at this time of year. No leader would bring his hunters in from the prowl unless the danger were absolutely critical. "Why would he do that?"

"Because the fucking humans told him to. Sound familiar?" Skhal spat, then shook his head again. "I don't know what to make of any of you. Alphas didn't share power in my day," he growled.

Zev fought not to roll his eyes. It wasn't true, of course, the Chimera had always been somewhat under the human rule. But for generations Thana had been their haven. The humans allowing the Chimera in Thana to live relatively natural lives, only occasionally interrupted by humans arriving to take a count of their numbers, or ask for volunteers to come back with them into the human world to undergo tests—feats of strength and healing—so they could track the bloodlines.

There had always been a level of tension with the humans—suspicions that the loss of offspring, or even healthy adults, could occasionally be laid at their feet. But they'd never had proof. Until now.

Zev had proof. The problem was, how to reveal it to his people without putting them at risk when they were already so weak. He'd assumed he was returning to a thriving community, and a powerful Alpha. Instead he'd found a people limping along, vulnerable and snapping at every fly because they couldn't fight the predator that hunted them.

Zev had no doubt he would need to find a way to bring his people back to strength. But the how… that needed more thought. He had a more pressing responsibility for the immediate future.

"Walk to your clothing. I'll join you. If the hierarchy has changed, I'd ask your help to clarify who are my best targets. I have to get back to Alpha as quickly as possible."

"How quickly?"

"Less than a week."

Skhal's eyebrows snapped high. "You're fucking insane."

Zev shrugged.. "I guess we'll find out."

 

Chapter 73

As they trudged through the snow, Skhal still didn't smile. Zev could feel the tension in the male, though he'd submitted now, so it wasn't aggression. Zev supposed he should be grateful for that.

"Tell me how we ended up here," he said when they reached a spot where Skhal leaned down to put his hand under an overhang of rocks and pulled out a set of clothing and fur boots.

Skhal dressed slowly, only his feet red and showing the signs of the cold. But he was still shirtless when he began to speak.

"You left us," Skhal said through his teeth. "No warning. Everything spun out of control because the hierarchy was decimated. You expect to just walk back in and be applauded?"

"No," Zev said through his teeth. "But I also don't expect to be held accountable for the decisions the new Alpha made in my absence.

Skhal snorted. "Why, because you're so noble?"

"I left because I believed if I didn't the future of the Chimera was at stake. I believed that by leaving I removed the human attention from Thana."

"Well, what a shock. Sounds like the humans lied."

"I've learned that they're very good at that," Zev said quietly, darkly.

Skhal growled. "Some of us tried to tell you that before you left."

Zev looked down to acknowledge his shame. "I did not disregard you. I only… I thought I was closer to them and so understood them better. I wasn't unaware of their machinations. But I thought…"

"You thought they treated you special, and so you thought you had more power than you actually did," the older male snarled.

Zev's snapped his eyes up to meet the cold blue of Skhal's. The male had been a coach and teacher for him when he was a pup, and had returned to his circle as an Advisor after Zev became Alpha.

But Zev had always questioned his cynicism. Turned out, perhaps, the male wasn't as wrong as Zev had thought.

"Look," he said, his body uncomfortable as he tried to accommodate the awareness of his own failing, "I want to make things better for all of us. If that means taking Alpha back, I'll do it. But I can't even start on that until I'm ranked—and Sasha is safe."

"Ah, yes, our Alpha's human princess. You see no potential conflict with bringing her here? The humans are going to rage that you took one of theirs!"

"They don't have quite the same sense of… community that we have," Zev said dryly. "She is just another pawn to the men who can make our lives hell. But it's true, there's a chance Nick will try to remove her from me. I assumed I was returning to Thana as it used to be. I hadn't expected to be so vulnerable here."

"Poor little Alpha," Skhal sneered.

Zev stepped up into the male's chest and stared a challenge. "I recognize—I acknowledge that I have hurt you, and others. But I will not be mocked. Do I need to make you submit again?"

Skhal tipped his head as if he was considering it, then dropped his eyes. "No," he said sullenly. "But also don't expect me to applaud you for the choices you have made."

"Fair enough," Zev said quietly. Neither of them spoke for a moment, then Zev sighed. "If you want to see positive change here, then help me. Show me what has changed and how to navigate it. You were always good at looking ahead and seeing the different routes through a problem. Tell me. I'm listening."

Skhal eyed him suspiciously. "Why now?"

"Why now, what?"

"Why listen to me now? You've never wanted to hear my strategies before."

"Purely untrue," Zev growled. "I always listened to you. I made the mistake of dismissing your suspicion as paranoia. I will not make that mistake again. So tell me, Skhal, why have the Chimera moved closer to the gateway to benefit the humans? Why would they cater to the humans' fear of the creatures? And why is Xar so… submitted to them?"

Skhal muttered a curse under his breath and pulled the fur jacket over his head. "Xar is a tyrant to his people, and toothless towards the humans," he snarled. Then his voice softened. "Even his mate was taken. Luckily for him, the twins were being naughty again and had gone to one of their hideouts to avoid their chores. When their mother was taken, they were not. They remain. I believe the humans use them as… leverage. They know that they're here—two of the few healthy adults, and a female at that."

Zev cursed. Axe and Arelia were Xar's twin children—Axe male, Arelia female. The last time Zev had seen them they were adolescents, spoiled and emotional, but both showing the signs of Alpha strength and power. Either might have taken Zev's place if he'd left a few years later.

"I didn't see the twins at the village this morning," he said carefully.

Skhal shook his head. "You won't. Xar's got them living in the City. He calls them Watchmen. We all know it's just to keep them out of the human hands. They join us for meals sometimes. They will likely be at the feast tonight. The humans were just here a few days ago. They usually feel safe for about a week."

Zev shook his head. "This is crazy."

"It gets worse. I believe—though no one wants to hear me—that the humans are using his mate against him as well. I think they have him believing that if he helps them, they'll give his mate back. There's no evidence for it—not a single one of the females has been returned to us, except one that got sick and died a few days after they dropped her back here. That was early on. Her mate died a few months later. I think they think if they don't show us our mates dying that we won't be taken by the mourning. They're fucking crazy. That village is full of males on the edge of death. It will take only one blow to tip them out of darkness and into the spiral towards death." Skhal's lips twisted. "But even though the others won't listen to me, I am almost certain Xar believes if he submits, his mate will be returned. But he's entered the darkness as well. And even though the humans give him something to help him every time they come, it's becoming less and less effective. And his actions are becoming more and more erratic."

Then Skhal fixed him with a challenge look that almost made Zev growl.

"You came back at just the right time, Zev. If someone doesn't figure out how to fix this, none of us will be here in another couple years. I'm convinced of it.. So… are you up to the challenge? If not, step aside so we can find someone who is."

 

Chapter 74

After the fight at lunchtime Zev had disappeared into the forest and no amount of Sasha's peering between trees or aching longing brought him back. Yhet was empathetic, but firm. They needed to find her a space she could claim as her own and keep the males out when she needed to.

After the meal, they'd found Kyelle again, who seemed relieved to tell them that she had found a nest home for Sasha. There was little furniture, but they would find some more. And the bed was high and full.

"You will have to climb to the door, but you should be able to do that… shouldn't you?" Kyelle had asked hesitantly.

Sasha had to work not to scowl at her. "I'm sure I'll make it," she said sweetly.

Kyelle had led them out, through the trees, further and further from the village, which made Sasha nervous, but Yhet seemed pleased. "Very good, Kyelle," he'd said when she finally walked to the trunk of a huge tree with another of those rounded homes—even larger than Kyelle's from what Sasha could see.

Also, positioned much further up the tree.

Kyelle caught her eyeing the climb and smiled. "There is a rope ladder, I'll get it down for you," she said.

Then before Sasha could respond, she burst into feathers. White, snowy feathers marked with dark spots on her wings, along with the huge golden eyes and tufted ears of an owl.

The largest owl Sasha had ever seen. Even in bird form, Kyelle was taller than Sasha, though she was a lot wider, too. She took one swooping leap, her long wings scooping at the air and with two or three flaps her talons closed on the edge of the… porch? Sasha wasn't sure what to call the narrow, wooden platform directly outside the door. It was open on the front—to allow the access of those wings, Sasha realized. But there were waist-height railings on either side.

Kyelle returned to her human form as soon as she landed on the platform, then walked to the railing at the side and uncoiled a mass of ropes to drop a ladder that reached almost to the ground and reminded Sasha of the ladders she'd seen in cartoons or on television shows—where kids didn't live in apartments or city streets, but had trees and grass behind their houses and built treehouses with fathers who were home on the weekends instead of in the office.

She walked to the foot of it—dangling a foot or so off the ground—and tugged on it. The steps were single wooden planks with a hole at either end, and knots tied underneath to stop the step sliding down the rope. Sasha pulled all her weight against one of the steps and was heartened to find that it didn't seem creaky or likely to break soon. "Looks good," she said brightly.

Yhet stared at her strangely, but he gave Kyelle an uneasy glance as well. So Sasha ignored it. "If I climb up, can you pass me my bag, Yhet?"

"Of course," he rumbled.

With a grim smile, Sasha took hold of the ladder above her head in both hands, then stepped onto the lowest rung with both feet—and promptly had to wrap her arms around the rungs as her weight forced the untethered ladder to swing so she would fall off backwards if she didn't cling with her hands.

It was an embarrassing few minutes where Yhet—who was far too big to climb the ladder, and Kyelle, who didn't need to climb it because she could fly—attempted to explain to her how to move on the ladder to keep herself upright. But eventually she made it to the top—then faced the challenge of hoisting her body up and onto the platform when the ladder pulled underneath it because of her weight.

Another lesson—quick this time because Sasha's arms were beginning to shake from holding her bodyweight—about gripping the railing on the side and letting go with the other hand to give herself some space to step up with her legs was all that was needed.

Sasha finally, awkwardly, rolled herself onto the platform, puffing hard, but pleased with herself for making it unaided.

"See?!" she said.

Kyelle's lips pressed together like she was trying not to laugh, while Yhet looked very uneasy.

"Are you certain about this, Sasha? I can look for another—"

"This is great!" Sasha said, brushing herself up as she got to her feet. "It'll be fun. And I'll get better at it."

Kyelle nodded, still swallowing that smile, but Sasha ignored it as she approached the woman near the door. "Can you pass me the bag, Yhet?"

The man lifted the duffel bag up and onto the platform for her without even stretching. Then she and Kyelle went inside.

The house was cold and dark. But Kyelle helped her, hurrying around the room lighting lanterns and laying a fire in a cozy little fireplace on the corner.

"We can have fires in tree houses?" Sasha asked, concerned. Everything in the house was made of wood—and the trunk of this tree was thicker than the one in Kyelle's home. It made a massive, bark-covered round wall in the center of the room. "What if it pops and something catches fire? Won't the tree go up as well?"

"It is very difficult to burn a living tree down, especially in winter… with all the snow," Kyelle said, in a tone that suggested Sasha should already know that.

"Oh… okay. I guess I'll just be careful then," Sasha said, then shook her head at herself. Kyelle hurried around, showing her where the dishes and other useful items were, the bathing room—the only room with walls closing it off from the rest of the house—and how to make use of the snow for water for bathing.

They'd left the door open so Yhet could see in and offer his input and advice. But the house wasn't large, so they were very quickly back at the tree trunk in the middle of the room.

"I think that's everything," Kyelle said, clasping her hands together. "Do you have enough clothing? I can bring more for you—some furs if you're cold. There are some books here, but I could bring more if you'd like to read to pass the time."

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just… I'm just tired," Sasha said. "I think I'll take a nap."

Kyelle nodded. "In that case, I need to get back to my clan. Yhet, will you bring Sasha to the meal this evening?"

"Yes, of course," he said through the open door—that was also letting the cold, winter air inside to make it even more frigid.

"Thank you, both of you," Sasha said. "I'm very grateful. I didn't imagine losing touch with Zev so quickly after we got here."

"Don't worry, Sasha. He'll work through the wolves quickly. It will be easier after that, when the others have to acknowledge him, as well. Then you'll be able to show your favor," Yhet said, smiling. "It won't be long."

Kyelle didn't look as confident, but she nodded and smiled. "Rest is likely a good idea. I hear crossing from the human world can be very tiring."

Sasha started to nod. "I mean, I was asleep when… wait…" she paused, her heart thumping. "What did you call it? The human… world?"

Kyelle frowned. "Yes. Do you have another name for it?"

"Yes! Pennsylvania!"

Kyelle and Yhet looked at each other, then Kyelle shook her head. "Sasha… this isn't pencil-vanya—"

Sasha looked around, then at both of them. "Aren't we in America? Isn't this… aren't we up in the mountains somewhere?"

"You're in the mountains of Thana," Kyelle said carefully. "Didn't Zev explain?"

"Sasha," Yhet said, his voice heavy with concern, "Thana isn't in your world. This isn't what you call earth. You have crossed the Gate and come to our world.. I'm sorry, I thought you knew that."

 

Chapter 75

It made sense when she put it all together. The way Zev had always been vague about the "little town" he was from. It explained why he'd insisted he couldn't show her the way there. The way she'd wondered how these incredible people—shapeshifters—could exist without being discovered by hunters, or drones, or helicopters.

If she'd thought about it deeply she would have assumed the scientists that made Zev were government agents and that this place they called "Thana" was on some government base, under a no-fly zone, or something.

But after Kyelle left, she'd sat on the platform outside the door and talked to Yhet for almost an hour.

The reason Zev had given her something to make her sleep for the travel wasn't to hide the location, exactly, though she supposed it served that purpose too. According to Yhet—who had been to the "human world" as they called it—crossing the gateway was a unique kind of challenge. It took a single-mindedness and self-discipline that could be risky for some. By carrying her across when she was asleep, Zev had not only avoided Sasha learning where the Gateway was on her side. But he'd also removed the risk that she would create danger by being distracted once she was within the gate.

"Distracted by what?" she asked.

"The Gate isn't just a doorway, as you would think of it, Sasha. It is a… world of its own. And it offers you the opening to many other worlds. Many options," Yhet said with a sigh. "If you don't keep your mind on the one place you desire, you can end up being sucked into somewhere else. And not all the worlds are safe. Zev was protecting you. I'm certain he would have told you. He didn't expect to be cast out as soon as he arrived."

"And I didn't expect to get taken to an alternate universe!" Sasha snapped, "so I guess all of us are dealing with disappointment right now!"

"Yes, yes, of course you are. It's been a very difficult day—"

"No, Yhet, it hasn't been a difficult day. It's been a night and a day of… of danger, and unpleasant surprises, and more danger and… where am I?!" she wailed, throwing her arms out at the forest around them. "Where did he bring me and then just leave?"

"Zev didn't leave you by choice."

"I've heard that before," she snapped, then dropped her face into her hands. This huge man was lovely and worried and it wasn't fair that she be rude to him—he wasn't the one who'd let her down. "I'm sorry, Yhet. I just… Zev keeps doing things without telling me they're going to happen and I don't know what to believe anymore."

"Believe that he loves you, and always has," Yhet said softly. "We all know of you because you were the only one he could speak of whenever his mind turned back to his time in the human world."

"Then why is he always leaving?!"

The man ran a hand through his gray hair. "Sasha, you saw what happened with Xar. None of us predicted that. Lhars thought Xar would lash him, drop his ranking a few pegs—which wouldn't have mattered to anyone. Dunken thought Xar would put Zev in prison and it would take a council of the Alphas to release him. I thought Zev would have to fight Xar, to take back Alpha before he would leave him in peace. But none of us predicted this. I am not surprised Zev didn't foresee it. This kind of conflict is not the proper foundation for casting a Chimera out. Frankly, I'm surprised more Chimera didn't fight it and refuse not to see Zev. It is a mark of how frightened they are of Xar that they all went along with it."

Sasha shook her head. She had seen Zev's shock, and his fear for her. She had seen that he'd been working hard to keep her safe while he dealt with the Clan leader, or king or whatever he was. But then he'd left and now she was floating in this strange world, with no one but a Sasquatch to guide her and so many rules about what she could and couldn't do with any male her head was spinning.

She wasn't in America. Not even on earth? That didn't seem possible.

Yet… neither was a man who could turn into a wolf, or a woman who could become a huge owl.

Or a sasquatch for that matter.

She looked at Yhet, and her heart swelled. He stood right in front of her knees where her legs dangled in the air off the edge of the platform at the front door. His chest kept her legs warm, though her ass was freezing on the frozen wood. His eyes, so lightly brown they were almost gold, stared at her with empathy and concern over a broad nose and reddened face, pinched by the cold air.

He was very obviously something not human—or not entirely human—and he'd been seen her world before. There had been legends of sasquatch for generations. And here she was talking to him about her ex-boyfriend.

What the ever-loving hell was happening to her?

"You know," she said, a touch of that hysterical laughter bubbling in her throat again. "There are legends of you in my… in my world," she spluttered. "People who go up into the mountains hunting for you. And… and stuff like that."

Then Yhet surprised her by nodding, his face falling sadly. "Yes, unfortunately, I was a rash youngster. I crossed many times and one… one of those times I was sighted. I led the researchers here to Thana. If it weren't for me, the Chimera wouldn't be here—and neither would you." he sighed heavily.

"I'm not sure that's a bad thing," she said, trying to sound kind. "Zev always talked about how much he loved this place and he was so quick to want to come back here. Maybe what you did was a good thing?"

Yhet shook his head. "I too, wish the Chimera could be here—but without the humans. I heard from the others that the way the scientists held them was often… horrible. So perhaps this is better. Except that means…" and his face crumpled as if he might cry.

"Yhet! What's wrong?"

"Don't mind me," he rumbled, rubbing his eyes like a child. "I'm just missing my mate."

 

Chapter 76

After a few more awkward moments with Yhet Sasha had made excuses to be by herself—and she didn't miss how his eyes brightened. When she'd gone into the little house, she'd taken a drink of water from the hand-powered pump in the kitchen, then fallen onto the bed, fully clothed, and cried. But not for long. Because she really was exhausted and had fallen asleep within minutes.

She was still asleep when Yhet knocked at the door to take her to dinner. She'd had to rinse her mouth out, finger-comb her hair, then dart out to the little platform and let him pull her down like a child in the arms of their father.

He'd walked her through the woods again, asking her if she was okay, and she'd been fine—bleary-eyed, and confused, but fine.

Now she was sitting at the one of the tables, Kyelle across from her, Yhet to her side, blinking and staring at everything, and everyone.

It was surreal. Everything looked different.

The tiny differences she'd noticed, but not noticed—the way the pine needs on the trees stuck up instead of out, or down. The way everyone's eyes were bright blues, greens, and golds. The way their skin was all ruddy, despite the cold and dim sun through the clouds. The fact that every fucking person around her could shift into an animal form…

That probably should have been first on the list, as she thought about it.

Suddenly, ever little movement or sound took on an entirely new weight. These weren't humans. They were partially human, but they weren't human the way she was human, and they didn't live in her world.

And Zev was one of them.

It was a complete mindfuck.

When she was graduating from high school and Zev was still around, they had been talking about how he was supposed to leave town, and her parents hadn't wanted her to go with him—had encouraged her to choose her own university regardless of where he might go, or what he might do.

Her mother had sat her down one night for a heart-to-heart, to warn her never to give up her life to follow a man.

Yet, here, somehow she had travelled to a completely alternate world.

Sorry, Mom.

Sasha spluttered a laugh. Yhet and Kyelle both turned to look at her as if they were afraid she might be losing her mind. "Don't mind me," she giggled behind her hand. "I have a bad habit of getting the giggles when I'm under stress."

They took her at her word and went back to their hushed conversation while she struggled to get herself under control. But she was soon distracted by the people again, examining them for the differences she could see—and her mind spinning with the differences she couldn't.

She was still trying to get her head around this when three men joined their tables.

Males, Sasha reminded herself. The Chimera called themselves males and females, not men and women.

The first of the males to approach went directly to Yhet, pulling him into an embrace and rubbing his cheek against the larger man's. Sasha tried not to stare as the other two joined them as well, and there was mutual sniffing and touching that all seemed entirely comfortable with.

She didn't think she'd ever seen grown men embrace the way these males did—especially not with the sniffing and rubbing.

It was fascinating. And terrifying. Because it was just one more way that she had to see, had to admit to herself that she was somewhere else. Somewhere foreign.

And she didn't even have Zev to keep close and make losing her mind worth it.

Kyelle said her name sharply and she blinked—to find herself staring at the incredible, green eyes of a young male who'd sat across the table from her. He smiled and opened his mouth to greet her.

"Eyes down!" Kyelle hissed and Sasha immediately dropped her gaze.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just… I was distracted."

There was a feminine sigh from Kyelle's direction, then she said quietly, "Just… focus on me. Look up. Speak to me. Look at me. Tell me what you're thinking about. I can answer your questions."

Gratefully, Sasha looked up to find the female staring at her with a lined forehead, but a small smile. "What were you thinking about? What questions do you have?" she asked patiently.

"It isn't even questions so much as… I'm just fascinated. Everything… this isn't my world. I want to stare at everything, at everyone. I'm trying to make myself accept that it's real."

Kyelle nodded, her hair fluttering around her face. "You are wise to accept your changed circumstances. In the long run it will be easier for you."

Yhet kept the males at the table talking, while Sasha focused on her meat and fruit, and spoke with Kyelle. At least she tried to. But very soon a hush fell over their table and those near them. A body moved at the end of the table, and Sasha was too scared to look, in case she did the wrong thing. But then a voice, similar to Zev's, piped up.

"It's kind of you to save me a seat," the deep, male voice growled. "You can run along now, with my gratitude."

One of the males who'd been two seats down from Kyelle, stood and picked up his plate, then after a hesitation, walked away from the table completely.

The male that had approached the table took his time settling into the seat, then he looked around at each of them, smiling.

Lhars.

Remembering the tension between the two brothers, Sasha was uneasy. But he looked so much like Zev, it was hard not to stare. And he was smiling now.

"Please, don't let me interrupt," he said politely. "I simply wanted to join you for the meal."

Kyelle turned uneasily away from Lhars, to face Sasha again. "He's Alpha of the wolf pack," she murmured, looking down at her plate. "It would be rude not to acknowledge him. Be polite, but not… welcoming."

Sasha nodded quickly, remembering the hurried lesson they'd had that morning. She was to ignore every unmated male, except the leaders in each Clan. Kyelle and Yhet would let her know who they were.

Somehow she'd forgotten, or missed, that Lhars was one of them.

"Are you finding the food to your liking, Sasha?" he said in a honeyed voice so low it was almost a growl.

Sasha looked up, and for a moment she was frozen in a set of bright blue eyes so like the ones she loved that her heart beat faster.

"Everything's great," she rasped, licking her lips and trying to find her balance. "I'm glad you could join us, Lhars."

She was only trying to be polite, but Kyelle hissed again and Sasha's heart dropped to her toes.

 

Chapter 77

She managed to navigate the next few minutes without doing or saying the wrong thing. Kyelle relaxed as Sasha seemed to find the balance between being politely civil to Lhars, but not encouraging his attention.

And the truth was, for as long as she could forget exactly where she was, and what was happening around her, she was able to relax a little bit herself. Lhars was surprisingly warm and even funny at times, when there was no reason to be aggressive. And the other males at the table seemed almost to defer to him, which made it easier for Sasha not to do or say the wrong thing.

Yhet kept giving tiny growls in his throat. But Kyelle looked at him sharply, and he stopped. Then Sasha took a tentative bite of something on her plate that looked almost like green jelly and it burst on her tongue in such a cascade of sweet, citrus juiciness, she gasped.

"What is this?" she asked Kyelle excitedly. "It's delicious."

"It's the nectar of the elderblooms," Lhars purred. "Would you like some more?" He slid a chunk onto a spoon and held it across the table to her to take.

Sasha's eyes lit up, but Kyelle kicked her under the table again, and she jumped.

Oh, that was right, she wasn't supposed to accept any gifts or… anything, from any male. She dropped her head quickly. "No, no thank you, but you're very kind," she said, scooping up the last of her own on the spoon she'd been handed with her plate.

"If you don't want your nectar, I'd be happy to share it, Lhars," Kyelle cooed, taking the spoon from his hand before he could pull it back.

Sasha giggled at the thunderous look that crossed Lhars' face—but then he shook his head and smiled with a low chuckle. "Very well played, Kyelle," he said, his eyes twinkling. "Well done."

Sasha was surprised. He hadn't struck her as someone with a sense of humor when they'd run into him with Zev. Was he just putting on a front now? Because she was an unmated female?

He caught her looking at him then and though he didn't say anything, he dropped his chin and looked up at her from under his brows and for a moment her breath stopped because if her eyes had only passed over him, she would have sworn she was staring at Zev.

Then there was a clatter and another body appeared at the end of the table and everyone's attention was drawn away to the male, and not, apparently with any great joy to see him.

Shorter than any other Chimera she'd seen so far, this male was built just as powerfully as the others, though with an odd, twitching mannerism.

He seemed to move in jerks—very quickly and all at once, then not at all for a moment.

"You must be Sasha!" the male exclaimed. "Don't worry about me, Sasha! My heart already belongs to Ulka!"

Sasha looked at Kyelle, who rolled her eyes. "This is Oska," she said. "He's Alpha of the hares, and already mated. You're safe."

Sasha heaved a sigh of relief. "Hello, Oska," she said. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too, of course! Beautiful manners, beautiful! I wouldn't have expected anything less! Zev has always spoken so highly of you!"

Everything the man—male—said seemed to end in an exclamation mark. Sasha bit her lip to stop herself smiling. "That's very kind of you to say."

"Oh, I'm a kind person—but don't make me angry, the others will tell you!"

Everyone around the table murmured with hurried affirmation as if they didn't want to give this guy a reason to argue. Which was his point, Sasha supposed. But no one seemed afraid of him. It was strange.

"So, have you all heard?" Oska said as he nudged one of the other males out of their seat just like Lhars had done, "Apparently Zev has already defeated Skhal and Saml! I'd lay my firstborn that he's out there looking for Hedin, now!"

The entire table seemed to go still. Sasha looked back and forth between Kyelle and Yhet. "Is that good?" she asked him hurriedly.

He nodded. "He has… moved very quickly," Yhet mumbled.

"Quickly!" Oska replied. "Once he beats Hedin he's only two levels below the ranked wolves! I've never seen any move this quickly! He'll be coming for you, soon, Lhars, mark my words!"

Sasha's heart sped up again, this time for all the right reasons. But she looked nervously at Lhars. He did seem such an even match with Zev physically, she couldn't help wondering what would happen when the two of them fought.

But Lhars just shrugged and kept eating. "He has some very difficult opponents to defeat before I'd even see that he exists," he drawled. "And if we do meet over a challenge, my brother will discover that I have grown a great deal stronger in years he has been gone." Then he turned his head and locked eyes with Sasha, as if challenging her to defend Zev.

Sasha blinked and swallowed, looking away to Kyelle, who just sighed and leaned her elbows on the table, rubbing her temples between her fingers.

Sasha thought the conversation might stop there, but Oska only leaned closer to the table and pointed at her down the table. "I know this must have been a difficult day for you, Sasha, and it won't get easier soon. If you're in need, if you want a message, or any goods run quickly to someone else, you come find me. If I cannot do it myself, I will make certain one of my clan do it for you!"

"Th-thank you—"

"No need to thank me! We are not only swift, we are extremely discreet. You can trust us with your most delicate needs, and we will ensure no one else comes to know them! Do not let yourself worry, Sasha. As Zev's chosen, you will be a dear friend to my clan, a dear friend!"

"That's… wonderful," she said, feeling overwhelmed. "I thank you and your… clan."

Then Oska chuckled and pointed at her again. "I'm so sorry, so sorry, you're human, you wouldn't know! We are the hares, Sasha.. We are the fastest of foot, and the quietest in travel. You will come to see just how valuable we can be to you, mark my words!"

 

 

Chapter 78

"That's lovely, Oska, thank you," Sasha repeated awkwardly. "I'm sure we will be very good friends. I've always loved rabbits. It was one pet we were allowed in our apartment growing up—"

But everyone at the table groaned. Sasha closed her mouth and looked around at all of them—who were all staring at Oska.

There was an almighty thump. The entire table rattled and Sasha startled. Oska leapt to his feet so his chair fell to the ground behind him.

"I was very clear!" he yelled down the table at her. Everyone at the nearby tables quieted and turned to watch. Sasha caught several rolled eyes. "We are hares. HARES!"

Sasha's mouth dropped open. "Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I never meant—"

Lhars groaned. "Oska, she's human, she doesn't know—"

"EVERYBODY KNOWS INSTINCTIVELY!"

"That's simply not true, Oska, you know the humans aren't nearly as in touch with their instincts as we are—"

"Do I need to prove to you again that I am not intimidated by your predatory nature, LHars?" Oska said, his face growing red. Sasha was horrified.

"I never meant to create a problem, I'm sorry—"

"Don't worry about it," Lhars drawled, rolling his eyes. "It's just a bit of a sore spot for Oska, is all. You weren't to know."

"This is not TENDERNESS!" Oska roared, his leg stamping quickly on the dirt. "I will not stand for this… this dismissal of our natures! We are not cuddly children's pets. We are not food for your fire. We are swift, hardworking Chimera with everything that is needed to kick your ass you—"

"Okay, who set him off this time," a feminine voice said wearily from behind Lhars.

Everyone at the table seemed to breathe again as a female of a height with Oska, and with glossy, blonde hair stepped alongside him and put a restraining hand to his arm.

"Ulka! Do not placate these… these… mutts!"

"Who are you calling a mutt, Oska?" Lhars growled, going very still, his jaw tight and eyes sharp on the smaller male.

Sasha held her breath.

"You! I call you a mutt, straight to your wet muzzle, Lhars—you think I cannot hold my own with you?!"

"Oska, please," Ulka sighed. "You're frightening the human. Think of her and her poor nerves. I'm sure they wouldn't stand a demonstration of your strength. The poor girl needs to feel more confident in her chosen Clan, not less. If you go beating all the wolves again, she'll just be frightened. Think of her."

Sasha wanted to laugh—surely the pompous display was all bluster? Surely this man wouldn't really have fought Lhars? A rabbit? Against a wolf? He had to be joking?

But Oska took a deep breath, then looked back and forth between Sasha and Lhars. Sasha did her best to look uncertain—because she was—and not smile. While Lhars' jaw kept twitching, but he kept his eyes on his food rather than on the bristling male—a gesture, Sasha was beginning to understand, was to demonstrate a lack of challenge.

But Oska was eyeing the wolf man as if he couldn't wait to pummel him, so Sasha stepped in, hoping she could help this time instead of hurting.

"I am so sorry, Oska," she said quickly. "I had no idea you were so… strong. I am very impressed," she said, putting her eyes down and biting the inside of her cheek so she wouldn't smile. "I assure you, I won't reference any other… anything other than a hare in respect to your clan again. And I hope… I hope you won't challenge anyone else. I would hate to be the reason anyone got hurt."

Oska looked at her sharply and she raised her hands, palms out. "Anyone else, I meant—I can see that you are a… a formidable opponent."

Ulka flashed her a smile from beside Oska, who nodded.

"Yes, I am," he said baldly.

Then he scanned the table. And when no one else met his eyes, he snorted. "Very well, I won't unleash my strength here today. But mark my words—mark them! Do not underestimate me, or my people!"

Everyone at the table made murmured noises to affirm him, including Sasha, then Ulka pointed out two males at a nearby table who were getting to their feet. "I was coming to look for you because your apprentices have been waiting to be shown that trail you'd mentioned might be good for trapping. The hunters brought in less yesterday and they're looking for anything that might add to the pantry before the storm.

Storm? Sasha looked around. There was snow on the ground, but none had fallen since she arrived, and here under the trees, the ground was dry. There wasn't a breath of wind… she turned to Ulka who winked, then turned back to her mate.

"Very well!" Oska said. "I will take my leave. I hope you have all learned a lesson here today."

He pulled his mate into him and whispered something in her ear. Her cheeks colored, but he only kissed her quickly, then started down the aisle, weaving between tables until he reached the two younger males and began ushering them away from the diners.

Ulka waited until they'd moved closer to the trees, then turned back to face them, smiling, "It is nice to meet you, Sasha. We've all heard a great deal about you. I hope Zev will find his place again soon, and you'll be happy here. And don't worry about my mate. He's a lot of bark when his ruff is up, but he's a good male—strong, and hard working. And he will make sure our people help you if you need it. Don't hesitate to ask."

"That's…. very kind. I'm really sorry that I offended him," she said, meaning it. "I meant no harm. I'm still learning what's appropriate and what isn't. I'll make sure I never mention rabbits again around your clan—"

"I heard that!" Oska yelled across the clearing from where he stood between the trees, turned back to them. The two males with him each had a hand to his chest and began to wrestle him back. "I heard that! You aren't funny!"

But even Ulka giggled once he'd disappeared behind the trees.

 

Chapter 79 -

Zev had Hedin against a tree and his chin shoved back to bare his neck before the wolf submitted.

When Zev finally released him, both of them were bleeding. He shook his head, carefully not moving his left arm due to the ribs he thought might be cracked from a powerful kick Hedin had landed on his side.

The male hadn't shifted to wolf form to fight, which was a good sign that he didn't truly want to see Zev defeated. But he'd fought like a whirlwind with fangs and for the first time Zev was nervous about his ability to get through the wolfpack and challenge Lhars in the few days needed. Especially if he'd already cracked a rib.

He had thought about Skhal's comment, though, and left his shoes deep in the forest. His feet weren't as calloused as they used to be, but the tougher his opponent, the less opportunity he could afford to give.

He stood over the male who had slumped, his eyes and chin low. "You got me nervous there," he said quietly. "I don't want to bite out your throat, Hedin, but I'll do it if I have to."

The male shook his head, his chest still heaving. "There's no need," he growled, then spat a mouthful of blood on the ground, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I can't give you a free pass because the wolves above me won't see you if I do. But more of them are rooting for you than you might think," he said quietly, his eyes sliding up to make sure Zev was paying attention before he returned them to the ground.

"That's reassuring," Zev replied, watching him closely. "The question is… why would the wolf pack root for an Alpha who left, over one who is present?"

"It isn't your brother they want to see dethroned, it's the Tiger."

Zev rolled his jaw. "I hear that Lhars submits to the Tiger."

Hedin snorted. "Lhars doesn't submit to anyone. You know that."

"And yet, he gladly ran off to the tell the King I was here and kick off this shitshow which he apparently anticipated."

"He anticipated it because he wants to see Xar off balance."

Zev huffed. "Now I know you're lying."

Hedin shook his head and spat again. "Lhars is raging mad at you, and will kick your ass if he gets the chance. But he's never denied that you were a better King than this aging sack of bitter selfishness."

"Then why is he keeping Xar happy, instead of challenging him himself?" Zev folded his arms to give some support to that rib without making it obvious.

Hedin's head snapped back and his eyes narrowed. "Haven't they told you?"

"Told me what? When? I walked into the village and was greeted, then immediately confronted by Xar and cast out. No one's had any time to tell me anything."

"Didn't Dunken meet you on the trail?"

"Yes. He told me that Xar was Alpha, and warned me that I'd be facing discipline. He talked through how the females were taken and that Xar is submitting to the humans. But then we ran into Lhars. And Lhars wasn't giving an inch."

Hedin raked a hand through his hair, then winced, grabbing at his own ribs.

Zev had gotten in some kicks of his own.

When the wolf didn't immediately respond, Zev continued. "I did hear one theory… that the humans might be using Xar's mate and offspring as leverage. But I don't see how that could be used against Lhars since he isn't mated."

"That might be true about Xar, I don't know," Hedin admitted. "What I do know is that Lhars licks the dirt off Xar's shoes publicly, but when the wolves are alone, it's a very different picture."

Zev raised an eyebrow. "Lhars is a coward?"

Hedin shook his head. "We've been instructed to put away far more clothing, resources, and food for the winter than we ever were in the past—and not to share the locations of our dens around Thana. There's discussion of returning to the City, or perhaps even establishing another village somewhere else entirely."

"A mutiny?" Zev breathed.

"No, a defection. Removing the wolves, but keeping them intact and isolated."

"When?"

"There's been no order. No actual instruction for it. Only preparations that clearly point in that direction."

Zev watched the male carefully, inhaling his scent, to measure him for honesty. The problem was, the wolves were so accustomed to strategy and cunning, it was often difficult to discern truth from lies when even the truth could be used as a weapon.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked finally.

Hedin held his gaze for a moment—not a challenge, but measuring him. "I told you, you have more support than you likely expect."

"And you've had time to gather input from enough wolves since this morning to know that?"

"No. I've been present for the past three years when you weren't," Hedin shot back. Then he looked down again before he spoke again. "If you hadn't left secretly, allowed the hierarchy to implode, you would have been heralded at the gates today. As it is, everyone knows that you have not earned the casting out. Xar may have intended to weaken you, but for those not intimidated by his strength, he risks strengthening his enemies. But it's possible he's too far gone in the darkness to even realize it," Hedin said regretfully.

"So he truly is mourning?"

"He doesn't believe she's dead. But she was taken in the first wave—while Hedin fought to defend his dominance. He has seethed with anger ever since. You were an easy scapegoat when you were absent—though apparently while you're here, as well. He does not rule by the traditions anymore. He claims the Creator has abandoned us and we have to make our way alone."

Zev's eyebrows shot up. "Xar speaks against the Creator?"

"Xar has… things have gotten ugly, Zev. The tiger you knew no longer exists. He doesn't even make an appearance after the medicine anymore. He only stops raging for a time—but he's become… he enjoys inflicting pain," Hedin said, his voice hushed, as if the forest might have ears.

Zev frowned. Sadists were rare among the Chimera and generally only found among those who had become mentally imbalanced. But Xar had always been very steady. If he'd become cruel, what had changed?

"And Lhars licks his feet?" Zev growled.

Hedin shook his head. "Your brother makes the Tiger believe he is submitted, but I'm telling you, Zev, the Chimera a boiling pot of resentments and fear. Your arrival could not be more timely. I fear where this will take us if someone doesn't return order and remove the influence of the humans. We have already lost most of our females and offspring. There are not very many steps to be taken before the males turn on each other and we simply cease to exist."

Stunned silent, Zev thought of what he'd been put through over the past three years and suddenly, things clicked into place.

His own story took on an entirely new color and texture… and sense of dread.

Chapter 80

After dinner Sasha spent some time with Yhet and Kyelle at the table, watching with fascination as different Chimera came and went. Sasha's mind still struggled to comprehend that she had found her way into an entirely new world.

Then she saw a man get up from a table, wave goodbye to his friends, and shift into a wolf, and it hit her all over again.

Sasha was about to ask about the different kinds of Chimera, when the conversation between Kyelle and Yhet changed to speculation about whether Zev would have found Hedin that evening, or would save his energy for the following day. Sasha listened intently, but other than learning that Hedin was close to Lhars, she didn't learn anything new.

By the time they were ready to leave, Sasha was dead on her feet. Yet, her heart pounded painfully. Now that it was dark, the forest seemed sinister, the bare branches of some trees like gnarled fingers that wanted to catch her clothing, or taken out an eye. Yhet apologized time and again for taking her off the trails when she stumbled over tree roots, or yelped because her hair caught on a twig.

By the time the trees opened and she gratefully followed them back towards her new tree house, she was ready to shower and fall into bed.

Shower. Right.

The little bathing room, as Kyelle had called it, in her home held a primitive toilet and a tiny sink, but there was no bath or shower.

As they stepped out of the thickest of the trees, Sasha was surprised to find that there were strings of lanterns lighting the way, casting cones of warm glow from tree to tree.

Then her tree came into view and Sasha almost cried with relief. Without thinking, she'd left a lantern on inside. The large, square window on either side of the door glowed invitingly.

"How do you bathe?" she blurted as they crossed the snowy ground ahead of the house. "I mean, where?"

Kyelle smiled. "That is an advantage to being on the edge of the village, the bathing pools are only a couple minutes that way," Kyelle said, pointing down the line of lanterns that disappeared into the forest off to the right of her tree house. "But the lanterns don't extend to the pools because the Chimera generally bathe in the morning. So if you go tonight, take a lantern as it's likely no one else will be there."

"No one… else? The bathing pools are… communal?" Sasha asked uncertainly.

"Yes. None of us own the land, Sasha," Yhet said sagely. "We share all resources."

Sasha's stomach dropped further. "But… is there… I mean any, I don't know, walls or… privacy?"

Yhet snorted. "I had forgotten the human shame of their bodies."

Kyelle grinned, but whacked his arm with her hand before she turned to Sasha. "No, they are natural mineral pools—warm enough to use even in the winter, and quite beautiful. But Chimera do not hide ourselves from each other, Sasha. We are too closely knit—scents give away most of our secrets, and those we can hold aren't hidden on our bodies."

Sasha almost wept. "I can't ever get clean here by myself?" Her voice was too high, quavering, and she was embarrassed that this realization was what tipped her back towards tears.

She swallowed hard as Kyelle shook her head. "Not unless you want to venture to the pools in the dark. Most Chimera bathe at the beginning of the day when they need to do it at all. Like said, just make sure to take a lantern. There's no light down there."

Sasha nodded, her stomach in her toes. Then they reached her house and despair fluttered in her chest—she had to climb that stupid ladder again. But as she took a deep breath and started towards it, she determined that she would show them. She would not complain. She would not cry. And she would figure out a way to get clean without having to jump in the pool with a bunch of horny males.

After struggling up the ladder while Yhet and Kyelle watched awkwardly, she stood on the little platform, puffing, but pleased with herself. "Thank you for all your help today. Both of you," she said. "I know this wasn't how you thought you would spend your day. I'm grateful."

Kyelle nodded graciously, then farewelled Yhet, before disappearing back into the forest herself.

Then Yhet turned to her. "You've done well today, Sasha. Better than most of the scientists do their first times."

Sasha found herself oddly proud. "Thank you, Yhet. And thank you for helping me when Zev had to leave. That's been… difficult."

Yhet shrugged. "He would do the same for me," he said simply. "Will you be okay to sleep alone?" he said worriedly, as if this were odd to him.

"Yes!" Sasha said hurriedly. "I'll… I'll be fine!"

"Very good. Then I will take a walk and return to my cave. But I will return at daylight. Sleep as late as you like. I will be here when you want to go to breakfast."

"Thank you, Yhet!" She leaned down to put a hand on his broad shoulder. "You've saved my life today."

He snorted, and his cheeks colored, but his smile stretched his cheeks like a child's. "I did no such thing. But I'm glad that you felt safe."

He patted her hand on his shoulder awkwardly, then Sasha straightened and went inside.

With the warm light inside, the outside suddenly felt menacingly black. Sasha tried to wash her face and arms before changing into the massive t-shirt she usually slept in. But when she peeled back the covers on the soft bed at the side of the room, her thigh itched and she grimaced.

She hated going to bed dirty.

But apparently, she was going to have to do that until she got the courage to bathe in front of strange men—in numbers.

She looked out the window to the blackness outside. Unless she went now? Kyelle had said it was only a couple of minutes away. And warm.

She could run down there, leap into it and scrub herself, then come back to bed and… She bit her lip. Did she have the courage to go out into the forest, in the dark, on her own?

She walked back to the window. She could barely see anything except the moon high in the sky, but she knew there were lanterns to lead her to the bathing pools… was that the answer? She would simply bathe at night?

Was she more afraid of the dark? Or of being seen naked by strangers?

Sasha discovered that the answer to that question was simple, and she turned to look through the cupboards until she found a thick towel, grabbed the soap from her sink, and trotted to the door before she lost her nerve.