Ch. 161..170

Chapter 161

When we return to the palace I go straight upstairs to the office Sinclair has been using as his war room. Of course, there was a war room in his mansion back home too, but that one had been for the campaign, this one is only too literal.

When I walk into the tense space, I find my mate standing over a large diorama of the continent,a to- scale model of the territories, terrain and cities of our homeland. Tiny figures are scattered throughout the lifelike reproduction, forming armies, groups of civilians, rogues and refugees. A group of warriors surround the table supporting the miniature world, listening as Hugo delivers the evenings brief.

“Our spies report that despite their alliances during the campaign, Damon's armies have now turned against rogue forces in the neutral territories. Apparently his conquest of the united packs is complete enough that he's able to turn his attention to other threats, and he’s not hesitating to do just that.” Hugo explains. “

Any resistance in the packs has gone underground because of his severe crackdown, and more and more shifters are attempting to escape. These are mostly those who have reason to fear the Prince due to their politics or status in the pack, but others flee for no other reason than the loss of their homes and loved ones. The people recognize that any future under Damon’s rule is bound to be bleak, so they're leaving instead.”

“I can’t believe he’s done so much in so little time.” One of the warriors pipes up. I recognize the man as Sinclair’s third now that Gabriel is gone, but I can't quite recall his name. Philip? Phelan? Phineas?

“To your point, Philippe, Damon has moved very quickly. He hasn’t just gone after the Alpha council and their betas, he’s been taking out the elders in each pack as well, plus any wolves that might be

strong enough to make a claim for Alpha. He’s eliminated any and all competition, created a power vacuum everywhere but on the throne. It’s nothing new in terms of authoritarianism, but it’s damned effective.”

“Do we know if any of the elders have survived?” Sinclair inquires, his handsome face twisted into a grimace.

“If they have then they’re in hiding or attempting to escape.”

Hugo sighs. “Essentially anyone who might have helped us has gone radio silent out of fear of detection, and rightly so.”

“So basically we’re on our own.” Sinclair assesses gravely, “Even if we can dredge up some alliances in Vanara, we’re likely going to be going in blind when we return home.”

I feel a pang of deep sympathy for my mate, one I apparently sent through the bond, because no sooner have I processed the feeling than Sinclair’s head jerks towards the door, eyes searching. I realize he was so focused on the task at hand that he didn’t even realize we’d entered, and I try not to feel a sting of hurt. How can I possibly blame him for being preoccupied with all this going on?

Hiding from me, trouble? His voice sounds in my head, and I immediately understand why he might suspect this. I’m standing behind Roger and Gabriel, completely blocked from view. There’s also a fan directly across from us, blowing our scents down the hall rather than allowing them to permeate the small space. Of course not. I reply, wishing I could go climb into his arms. We just got back.

Any doubt I'd felt about my place among Sinclair’s priorities disappears when the meeting comes to a stand still for our exchange, and the next thing I know his fierce gaze is ordering the men in front of me to move so I might pass. I slip between them and try not to blush under the scrutiny of so many wolfish eyes, melting into Sinclairs side as he tucks me under his arm. I feel calmer at once, filled with his warmth and surrounded by his muscular embrace.

Only once Sinclair has turned my face up to kiss me senseless, does the meeting continue. I’m a bit surprised that my overprotective mate is allowing me to be part of such a stressful and disturbing briefing, but I’m also grateful. I need to know what’s going on for my own peace of mind and so that I can support my mate. It’s right that I should be here.

I would be lying if I said the details I learned didn’t weigh on me terribly, but soon enough Sinclair is leading me back to our forest suite, and it’s all I can do to hold my tongue until we’re alone. I have so much to tell him about my visit with the refugees, and I can't wait to take him back to the camp.

Of course, my mate seems to have little interest in talking when we're finally alone. Instead he pulls me into his arms and slams his mouth to mine with an urgency that frightens and delights me. Goddess I missed you, today. He admits in my thoughts. My wolf was furious that I let you go out into the city without me.

Hmm, just think about how furious he’d be if you went gallivanting around Vanara and left me here all by my lonesome. I reply saucily, nipping his lower lip with my fangs.

Sinclair growls and delves his tongue between my parted lips, gripping my hips and pressing me into his hardness, letting me feel how badly he needs me through physical exertion, as well as our bond. Careful little wolf, He warns. If I didn’t know any better I'd think you were trying to manipulate me.I arch into him, my blood heating to a steady boil as he extracts kiss after kiss from my lips.

I would never dream of it. I answer, earning an indulgent chuckle from the ravenous predator.

Impudent mate. A little while ago I planned on convincing Sinclair to visit the refugees before climbing into my nest for a late afternoon nap, now those things are the farthest things from my mind. All I can think about now is joining with my mate, letting our two bodies become one and disappearing into the rapture of being claimed by this powerful Alpha.

Sinclair is always a fierce lover, but today he seems particularly on edge. I’m not sure if it was the meeting or my provocation, but I can tell he needs this even more badly than I do. He strips off my clothes right there in the entrance of our rooms, then lifts me into his arms and guides my legs around his waist, before pressing my bare back into the door. He's still fully clothed, but when I reach for the buttons of his shirt he merely grumbles and I instinctively retreat.

There is no foreplay, no dirty words or teasing. Instead Sinclair slips his hand between my legs to make sure I’m ready for him, before freeing his cock and driving himself deep. He takes me without restraint, fisting his hand in my long hair as he withdraws his full length before slamming back into me over and over again.

His feral need is contagious, and soon I’m as wild as he is, rocking my hips up to meet him as he closes his teeth around my mark. I cry out when he sinks his fangs in, cresting a wave of pleasure from nothing more than his possession. When he spills himself inside me moments later, I find myself unraveling once more, uncontrollably clenching and clamping around his hard member.

When Sinclair kisses me in the delirious aftermath, I can taste my own blood on his tongue, and I’m surprised to find it strangely erotic. Breathing heavily, Sinclair pulls me from the wall and carries me to my nest, dropping tender kisses to my hair. “Sorry about that trouble. I think I got carried away.”

“Don’t apologize.” I tell him with a sated smile. “I love it when you get carried away.”

“Do you now?” He purrs, stroking my hair as he lies back onto the thick bed of pillows.

“Mhmm,” I sigh, snuggling in as he pulls a blanket over us. Only now am I permitted to unbutton his shirt so I can feel his bare skin against mine, and press my nose to his chest to breathe in his scent. “It makes me feel very powerful... knowing I can make my mate lose control.”

“Only you, Ella.” Sinclair professes, and I can feel his love for me blazing through our bond. “You're the only one that can do this to me.”

I flush with feminine pride, nuzzling his pec and giving it a nibble.

“Are you feeling better?” I inquire drowsily. He hadn’t said a word or let me feel his stress, but it’s obvious he was struggling.

Between the grim briefing and my absence, is it any wonder he was so on edge?

“Much.” He assures me, continuing to purr as he rubs my back. I’m sure he senses how ready I am for a nap, but I won’t be discouraged from my mission.

“You have to come meet the refugees with me tomorrow.” I tell him. “I’ve decided I’m going to go every day, and I think it would be really good for you to see them too. To my immense surprise, Sinclair goes stiff beneath me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I rally my strength to lift my head from him chest, “why not?” Sinclair frowns deeply, still petting me, but he won’t look at me. “I just don’t.” He answers distantly.

“Dominic, talk to me.” I beg. “Why don't you want to go?”

“Because,” he clamps his eyes shut, and I feel a rush of annoyance from him, frustration that I’m pushing him. I don’t care, if 1 know anything about this stubborn man, it’s that he needs a good push every now and then. “Because it’s my fault they’re even here. The Prince didn’t start this war... I did.”

 

Chapter 163

When we arrive at the air field, I do my best to keep Ella from feeling my nerves. As loathe as I am to admit it, part of me is still terribly afraid that my people will blame me for everything that’s happened. My angel of a mate did wonders assuaging my own guilt, but I know how grieving and heartbroken people often need someone to blame for the world’s cruelty. The Alpha in me kind of wants them to lash out at me, because I know I can take it and at the end of the day the responsibility is my own. The man in me, however, is beyond agitated by the thought of the pain this would surely bring.

Ella glances up at me as we move towards the tents, leaning her slight weight into my side and sending a rush of affection through our bond. It will be okay. Her precious wolf says to mine, and an image of the rose gold canine cuddling up to my brooding black beast appears in my mind’s eye. I pull her a bit closer, purring my thanks in her mind.

I know. I assure her. I’m always okay when I’m with you.

Ella’s cheeks flush pink, and while this usually might put all sorts of ideas in my mind about how to make her blush more, the matter at hand is much too serious. When we enter the first and largest tent, a hush falls over the sprawling space. Whispers of the Alpha start fluttering through the air, and I force myself to meet the eyes of each of the refugees. I’m mildly surprised to realize that the shifters in front of me come from all corners of the continent, far beyond the borders of my own pack. Yet they all call me Alpha with the same tone of reverence.

“I’m sorry I have not visited sooner.” I state, raising my voice to be heard at the far end of the tent. “My beautiful mate convinced me that constantly focusing on war wasn’t good for me or fair to you, and as usual, she was exactly right.”

An appreciative chuckle travels through the crowd, and sweet Ella turns her body into mine, hiding her embarrassed face in my shoulder. I rub her back and drop an amused kiss to her hair, my wolf purring through the bond, What’s wrong trouble, you only like my praise in private?

Apparently feeling emboldened, her wolf answers. Oh so you want me to share my blushes with all these other wolves? I would have thought you wanted them all for yourself but if you insist– before she can turn back I lock my arm around her waist, holding her in place.

Naughty mate. I tease, both amused, provoked and thankful that Ella is relieving some of my tension exactly when I need it most. Feeling heartened, I continue. “I cannot express the depth of my sorrow and fury for what has happened to our home. None of you should be here, none of you should have been forced to flee your ancestral lands, especially not at the hands of the person who is supposed to protect and care for you most. Damon’s actions are a betrayal of the very worst kind, and though I cannot undo the damage that has already been done, I want you to know that I am doing everything I can in order to bring him down.”

I pause, looking around the room to see how my words are being received. I see only wide, hopeful eyes, so I continue with the statement that scares me most of all. “I also need you to know how difficult it was for me to leave Moon Valley, and that I never would have done so if I saw another option. It goes against every instinct in my body to flee rather than stand and fight, but I could see the writing on the wall. I could see that the Prince was going to win this battle and that if the united packs were to stand any chance of winning the war, then we had to survive and fight another day.”

A few murmurs of approval bolster my spirits. “I am working hard to build alliances here in Vanara and am continuing to work with my connections to keep apprised of events on the continent, and when the time is right you have my vow that I will return to lead the rebellion against Damon. We will take back our home, and we will do everything in our power to make this right.” Emotion is making my voice grow thick, and Ella opens her emotions to me so I can feel the depth of her pride.

“In the meantime, I want to hear from you all. Any intel you have to share, any concerns you need to voice, any needs you require to be fulfilled. I want to hear it all – good or bad.” I continue, my voice growing strong again amidst my mate’s encouragement. “I may not be able to visit as often as I like, but as long as we are here in Vanara, my door is always open to you, and I will set up channels to ensure you all have a way to reach me or Ella if you cannot find us in person.”

As I finish my impromptu speech, I task Hugo with taking notes and Ella and I move throughout the tent, meeting with each refugee and family individually. Some are angry, as one might expect, others have problems or grievances to air about the camp or people they left behind. However the vast majority of people have only kind words and thanks to share. My heart grows lighter and lighter as more and more shifters express how grateful they are for what we’re doing, and that they understand why we left. However it’s not until we meet a young couple with a pair of twin toddlers, that I finally forgive myself for leaving my pack behind.

While the children play on the floor in front of us, their parents sit wrapped in each others’ arms. They are from the shadow pack, and escaped because the man was targeted by the Prince’s forces for being a possible contender to replace the murdered Alpha. “You must know what a symbol you two have become back home.” He shares, looking between Ella and me.

My mate, who is thoroughly distracted by the little ones at her feet, takes a moment to process his words. “A symbol?”

“Yes.” His wife confirms earnestly. “At first it wasn’t clear that you got out, but then Damon put a bounty on your heads, blaming you for the murder of the King and the Alpha council, and of course in doing so he basically told everyone that you’d managed to escape.”

“Bloody idiot.” Her husband mutters. “He made it possible for the entire resistance to form around you. Everyone knows you’re out there somewhere, plotting, waiting until the time is right to return. You are a beacon of hope for the entire continent.”

Ella squeezes my hand, and I can barely contain my shock. “You mean… people aren’t angry that I set all this in motion… that I left?”

The couple exchange shocked glances. “Of course not. You are the only thing keeping them going.” The she-wolf expresses, still sounding bewildered. “The way they see it, you were brave enough to risk everything, including your own campaign, in order to do right by the people. And trust us, everyone would rather you run and be alive to lead us when the time comes, than for you to have been a martyr and left us alone in this fight.”

I can’t help myself. I plant my elbows on my knees and crumple in half, lowering my face into my hands and breathing an aching sigh of relief. Ella’s tiny paw settles on my back, stroking my spine in long, soothing lines as her silken voice sounds in my head. See, you impossible wolf. I told you so.

I chuckle, turning my face to the impudent creature and feeling my heart stop in my chest from the mere sight of her smile. I catch her nape and pull her in for a fierce kiss, and my stationary heart leaps back to life until it’s racing too fast to contain.

When we finally part, Ella and the she-wolf take the pups for a diaper change, and I find myself staring after my mate as she cuddles the little boy in her arms, making silly faces and nodding along as he babbles excitedly in baby language. When I turn back to the father, I find him watching me with a knowing expression. “It’s amazing isn’t it. How the tiniest look, the simplest gesture, can send you over the edge? It’s pure witchcraft if you ask me.”

I nod. “I never knew I could feel this way about anyone, and I’ve been with a fated mate.”

The man chuckles darkly. “Just wait until your pup comes. If you think you’re a goner now…”

I shake my head. “I can’t wait… but I’m also terrified. And I can’t stand the thought of welcoming a pup while we’re at war.”

He nods, “How are you holding up, having Ella caught in the middle of all this?”

“Not very well.” I admit, thankful to talk about this with someone who understands only too well. “I’m trying to figure out what to do about building alliances, whether I should bring her along or leave her under lock and key. I hate the idea of being apart but…”

“But it’s not about your happiness, it’s about her safety.” He surmises.

“Exactly.” I groan miserably. “And at the end of the day she’s safer here.”

He purses his lips with grim understanding. “I would feel exactly the same way in your shoes.”

Nodding I emit a heavy exhale. “She’s going to hate me for this.” I admit.

The other man pats my shoulder. “Better her hating you alive and well, than loving you six feet under.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

 

Chapter 164

I’m on cloud nine when we return from the refugee camps. My wolf is practically crowing with her success supporting our mate in his darkest and most thick-headed moment, and even my sister’s troubles with Roger aren’t enough to bring me down.

I take a quick shower before dinner, my mind swirling with ideas to surprise Sinclair this evening. He’s been going through so much and trying to bear it all alone, and all I want is to be there for him. I decide to sneak away while he’s finishing up his work so I can task a few servants with collecting some romantic items for tonight: massage oils so I can work the knots out of his tense muscles, chocolate and candies to indulge his sweet tooth… and maybe spread over my body for him to devour, candles and rose petals to set the mood, even some sexy pregnancy lingerie to tempt him.

I’m so excited to put my plan into motion that I’m grinning when I exit the bathroom, still toweling my hair dry. Unfortunately I stop dead in my tracks when I see him waiting for me, seated at the end of the bed watching me with a somber expression. Instantly I know that something is wrong, but I can’t imagine what it might be after we had such a great day.

“Sit down, trouble.” Sinclair instructs gently, patting the bed beside him.

My anxiety immediately spikes. I can count the number of times my mate has been in our bed without touching me in some way on one hand. Still, I gingerly cross the floor, cradling my pregnant belly in my hands, and perch beside him. I’m sure he can sense my unease, but instead of sending me waves of comfort in response, I feel only regret pulsing through our bond.” What is it?”

Sinclair gazes down at me with grim determination. “I’ve thought about this a lot, Ella. I’ve tried my best to be objective and not let my own wants sway me, and I’ve decided that when I leave on my diplomatic

mission… I can’t, in good conscience, take you with me.”

My heart sinks, and my wolf whines pitifully in my head. “Why not? You promised you would think about it.”

“I have, baby.” Sinclair insists. “And it wasn’t easy. But I’d rather trust you with the devil I know than the one I don’t. I know the security risks here, I know the guard set up and emergency contingencies, I know Gabriel. I can’t say that about any of the places I’m going. I tried to work out some way to bring you along but at the end of the day I simply can’t trust unknown wolves with your safety, and I have to think that the Royal Palace is the most secure place in Vanara, whether I’m here or not.”

“But if I came along I wouldn’t just be hovering in the background.” I argue, pulling both of my legs onto the bed and turning towards him. ‘Think about how much I benefitted the campaign. If you need to schmooze and charm the Alphas, I can help!”

“I know.” Sinclair confirms. “I thought about that, but I’m not sure the advantage you provide would outweigh the risk.”

“You mean I might be able to help, but not enough to really matter?” I say, feeling my heart fall.

‘That is not what I mean.” Sinclair corrects immediately. “I mean that I would rather try my best and fail, than for both of us to try only to end up losing you or Rafe.”

“But what about the third possibility?” I press. “Where you take me and we win them all over and no one gets hurt?”

Sinclair’s mouth quirks, his eyes crinkling with affection. “It’s still not worth risking the second option, little one.”

I can feel my lower lip beginning to quiver, and I hear his wolf whine in my head, agitated by my imminent tears. “So you’d rather lose the war, than let me take just a fraction of the risks you are?”

“Ella,” Sinclair murmurs, sliding his hand around my nape. “I believe that I can build the alliances we need, whether you are with me or not – not because I don’t appreciate how much value you bring to the table, but because I’m determined to get it done no matter what. I have no plans on losing the war, and I know you don’t need to be protected and spoiled, but I care about you too much to do otherwise. So please let me do this.”

“But we’re supposed to be a team.” I insist, staring at my lap.

“We are a team.” Sinclair professes emphatically. “But most teams require the players to fill different positions to support one another. I’m helping the team by meeting with the Alphas, and you’ll be helping the team by helping Gabriel make arrangements for the refugees arriving from the continent, and helping Hugo respond to developments back home – plan countermoves when I’m out of reach. Not to mention growing our pup so that we have an heir when it’s time to take the throne.”

My thoughts can barely keep up with this. Until now, Sinclair hasn’t mentioned anything about me acting as his official Luna in all this, but then again we’ve had little opportunity to talk about my role since my wolf woke up. “You mean, you’re going to let me help strategize? To sit in on policy and warmaking meetings?” I ask, astonished.

Sinclair blinks incredulously. “Of course. You don’t think I’m going to waste that brain of yours, do you?”

“But you’ve been so concerned with shielding me from stress.” I reply, trying to justify my confusion.

“I’m learning, trouble.” He chuckles. “It took a while but I’ve figured out that being out of the loop only makes you more anxious. Besides, your wolf is awake now, and I may have a hard time dumping my own worries on you, but I know you’re more than capable of handling this role.”

I’m touched, and beyond proud that he believes in me this much, but there’s still one problem. “But part of being a Luna means taking care of you too.” I state sadly. “I can’t do that if you’re thousands of miles away.”

“We’ll be in constant contact, Ella.” Sinclair promises. “I’ll call you every night and every morning, and we can always meet in our dreams.”

For a moment, I feel pacified. Maybe he’s right. Maybe it’s smarter to divide and conquer… but, my wolf interjects, that’s not what this is. He isn’t suggested we separate so we can tackle different problems. He’s doing it because he thinks we’re too weak and vulnerable to withstand the risks he’s going to be facing all on his own.

Her words ringing in my ears, I clamber to my feet, shaking my head.” Dominic, I know I’m new to this and that I’m not as strong as you are, but I’m never going to grow into my power if you don’t let me try. If you keep me in a bubble I’m just going to stay weak and dependent on others to get by.” Suddenly Cora’s words the day we fought are ringing in my ears, and though I don’t regret looking out for my sister, I’m beginning to understand what she meant about constantly being sheltered.

“You aren’t weak, Ella.” Sinclair corrects me sternly. “And you are the least codependent person I’ve ever met.”

“But I am dependant on others for protection in this world.” I argue. “On you and my guards – and I will be until I learn to stand on my own two feet.”

’Then maybe being apart will be good for you.” Sinclair counters slyly, completely missing the point. “You can spread your wings without me hovering over your shoulder.”

‘That isn’t what I mean. You might be leaving but you’re still sheltering me… shielding me and coddling me.” I insist. “You’re keeping me in the safest circumstances possible and ensuring I don’t have to fight

or take risks.” Sinclair unfolds from the bed, crossing his powerful arms over his chest.” Well Goddess forbid that I should want to make my breeding mate safe after everything we’ve been through.” He growls sarcastically. “I promised I would take care of you, that I would make sure you never had to suffer poverty, abuse or neglect again.”

“I know that,” I sigh, “and I love you for wanting to give me only the good things in life… but that isn’t our reality anymore, Dom. We’re exiles and we’re about to go to war. I can’t, in good conscience, sit idly by while everyone risks their lives for me. I want to help, I want to prove myself worthy as your Luna.”

“You have already proved yourself worthy a hundred times over, little wolf.” Sinclair assures me, closing the space between us. “And I’m sorry that I can’t take you with me, but I promise it’s for the best.”

My wolf is getting more frustrated and angry by the minute. “I might have proved myself to you, mate.” I snap, “but I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about proving it to myself! I want to do this and I want to be there for you – And the fact is that you could take me if you chose, you’re just not willing.”

Sinclair clenches his angular jaw. “I’m not going to apologize for protecting you Ella. And you can be mad at me all you want, but I’m not going to change my mind.”

“You know, except for our really early days together, I’ve always felt like you were in my corner. That you would support my goals and interests whether they aligned with yours or not. Then again, this is the probably the first time we’ve really been put to the test, so I guess all that was just wishful thinking.” I shrug, fighting back tears. “And I’ve been wrong before, but you know what? I can’t ever remember being so fucking disappointed.” With that I turn on my heel and stalk out of the room, leaving my mate without a backward glance.

 

Chapter 165

When Cora walked into the palace’s opulent dining room, she expected to find the table packed with people. Ever since they’d arrived in Vanara, Gabriel had been entertaining different statesmen and potential allies for the war, in addition to their own party. However this night the dining room was almost entirely empty. Not only were Gabriel and his coterie of powerful friends absent, but so were Ella, Sinclair and Henry. Only Roger sat at the long, shining table, a glass of amber liquid in his hand.

“Where is everyone?” Cora asked, standing frozen in the doorway.

“The King had a prior engagement – some charity gala for the hospital.” Roger answered, not looking the least bit surprised to see the lovely human. “Dad was exhausted and decided to take supper in his rooms, but I don’t have any idea about Dom and Ella.”

“Oh.” Cora replied simply, relieved by the thought that her sister would probably arrive any moment. After he’d badgered her with personal questions on their excursion into the capital, the last thing Cora wanted was to be alone with Roger all evening long. She didn’t like the way he looked at her, the way his eyes darkened and his attention lingered with unnerving focus. He made her feel as if she were a particularly scrumptious rabbit bound for his hungry wolf belly, but only after he’d chased and taunted her to exhaustion.

She gingerly crossed to the table, painfully aware of the way his eyes followed her every move. She sat down and made a show of spreading her napkin over her lap, refusing to look at the wolf seated across from her.” So, how was your day?” She asked, striving for some semblance of small talk to kill the time.

When Roger didn’t respond, Cora finally dragged her eyes from her empty plate to look up at him. When her gaze finally reached his face, he offered her a knowing smirk. “Oh, so you can look at me.”

He teased, “I was beginning to worry.”

She narrowed her eyes, not caring for being called out when she was only responding to his behavior. Still, not one for confrontations, she muttered a sulky, “sorry.”

“Are you?” Roger inquired slyly, “because you look annoyed.”

“I’m trying to be polite.” Cora replied, forcing the words out through gritted teeth. She glanced to the door for the dozenth time, willing Ella and Sinclair to appear and rescue her.

“Why?” Roger asked, flashing his fangs. “I hope not for my sake – I’d much rather have your honesty than some fake nicety.”

Cora wasn’t sure what to do. Unlike her sister, she had never been the sort to offer up her opinions to people whose reactions she could not predict. She didn’t mind sharing complaints or venting with Ella, who she knew would always love her unconditionally, but this man was another matter entirely. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him per se, but she certainly couldn’t foresee how he would respond to her criticism – and that was a dangerous thing, especially knowing how violent some men could be when challenged.

Roger watched the emotions flitting across Cora’s face, listening to the way her heart pounded and raced. He recalled her words about Ella respressing her feelings and trying to do everything on her own, and it struck him that while their struggles might be different, Cora was far from unscathed by their difficult upbringing. He decided to give her a push.” Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?” He purred, his wolf sitting up at attention, curious and eager for her response. Roger mentally shook his head, why was his inner animal so fascinated by the woman?

Cora’s eyes widened, and her cinnamon skin blanched slightly. Belatedly Roger realized this might have been the wrong question to ask – knowing what the human orphanages were like, it wouldn’t surprise him if honesty was sometimes met with terrible things. Luckily Cora recovered rather quickly.

She crossed her arms over her chest, unintentionally pressing her breasts together, and notched her pert chin upward. “You know, I think you’re trying to provoke me. Politeness is a perfectly normal default among people who don’t know each other very well.”

“We’re hardly strangers, Cora.” Roger replied easily, his wolf flashing in his eyes. “We’re practically family – in-laws for all intents and purposes. If you can’t be honest with family, then who?”

“My family is Ella.” Cora answered stubbornly, flipping her raven curls over her shoulder. She couldn’t believe the gall of the man, he betrayed his father and brother but somehow he saw fit to lecture her about family?

Besides, she doubted he even believed his own words, the way he’d been looking at her lately was far from brotherly.

Roger arched his brow, “And she’s all you’ve ever needed, hmm? You’ve never wanted more?”

Cora was beside herself. Why was it that everytime they were alone together, Roger seemed intent on interrogating her deep personal feelings? “Why do you keep asking me these things?” She exclaimed, staring at her lap. “I’m just trying to mind my own business here, so why won’t you let me?”

“Because I want to know you.” Roger shrugged, ducking his head to try and catch her eye, but failing. “Is that so wrong?”

“But why?” Cora repeated in exasperation, peering up at him at last. ‘What interest could you possibly have in me?”

Roger sat back in his chair, assessing the disgruntled human with cool detachment. “Why shouldn’t I? Because you’re human, or because you don’t think you have anything to offer?”

Cora flushed, “I didn’t say that… and you didn’t answer my question.” Roger’s lips unfurled into a lethal smile, and suddenly Cora realized that she might not actually want to hear his answer. “I find you fascinating, Cora.” He confessed, noting the way her heart skipped a beat. “I see a kindred spirit in you. I see someone who landed in many of the same circumstances I did, but rather than letting them define you or pollute your heart, you found a way to turn them into strengths and make your own way in the world. I admire that… I want to know how you managed it.” He paused, eyeing her “Not to mention you’re beautiful and clever, and cute as a damn button.”

Cora fought the urge to scoff. ‘You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“So correct me.” Roger invited, leaning forward in his seat. Now that he’d captured Cora’s gaze, he was determined not to break it, hoping his wolf’s power might compel her to open up.

She shook her head, emitting a small huff of disbelief. “I didn’t make my own way in the world, and as much as I’d like to say otherwise, my relationship with my sister defined me every bit as much as yours did with Dominic. I got where I am in my career because Ella shielded me from things that would have destroyed me and gave me the space to find my own ambitions, the freedom to dedicate myself to my school work without any ghosts hanging over my head.” Cora’s mouth flattened into a hard line. “I stood on her shoulders my entire childhood and I show my gratitude by blaming her. She saved my life by bringing me here, but all I can think about is the fact that the life I built in Moon Valley has been taken away, probably forever.”

She looked away for a moment, but Roger waited patiently, sensing she wasn’t finished. “And if anything proves just how fucked in the head I am, it’s that I can’t even take a compliment. Because while you might tell me I’m clever and beautiful, all I can think is that I’ll never be as clever and beautiful as she is… plus now she’s an actual mythical creature – how the hell am I ever supposed to stack up?”

Roger didn’t smile this time, he didn’t tease or try to refute her logic. He simply said, “I know exactly how you feel.”

Cora blinked in surprise, feeling a strange sense of disappointment. “Well there you go. Mystery solved… nothing to admire here.” She tried to feign a laugh, but it came out sounding hollow.

“I didn’t say that.” Roger countered sharply. “The way I see it, there’s even more to admire than before. And you better believe I’m going to keep doing it.”

Cora’s eyes widened, “But… I thought…”

“I know what you thought.” Roger assures her, “you thought your honesty would dissuade me, in fact you hoped it would. Unfortunately for you, now I want you more than ever.”

Cora visibly bristled, “want me?”

Roger cocked his head to the side, “I’m sorry, didn’t I make that clear?” He rose to his feet, his dark gaze raking over Cora’s form, “I’m not interested you as a friend or confidant, and certainly not as a sister-in-law. I’m interested in you as a lover.”

“But I’m human.” Cora objected, so shocked her jaw actually dropped.

Roger rounded the table until he was standing over her. He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and gently closed her mouth, feeling a zing of electricity pulse through his fingertips. “And I’m still an Alpha, even if I don’t run a pack. It’s in my nature to go after what I want with every fiber of my being, whether it makes sense or not.”

“What exactly are you saying?” Cora gulped, butterflies exploding in her tummy. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so aware of another being, or so electrified by a single touch. She’d always

found Roger handsome, but she hadn’t imagined he would be able to turn her into a puddle with so little effort.

“I’m saying that if you want to push me away you can go ahead and try, but one way or another, I’m going to win you in the end, Cora.” Roger declared huskily, “So what will it be? Do you want to surrender now? Or do you want to keep pretending like you don’t feel this thing between us?”

 

Chapter 166

After leaving our rooms I sneak down to the kitchens, hoping the palace chef will take pity on me. My stomach is grumbling with a hunger so fierce I feel dizzy, but the last thing I want right now is to be social. I love my family and King Gabriel is growing on me by the day, but faking smiles and pretending I haven’t just had the biggest fight in the history of my relationship with Sinclair sounds absolutely dreadful.

I’m not sure why this fight feels so much worse than the ones before. After all, we got through Lydia’s attempted assault and fake pregnancy, as well as countless other small battles about Sinlcair’s overprotectiveness, my defiance, and shared communication failings. Still, this is the first time since we met that Sinclair has suggested we separate for any length of time, and maybe that’s the real reason I’m so hurt.

I probe my own feelings for fears of abandonment or doubts about his devotion, and I’d be lying if I said I came up entirely empty. Part of me, a very small and irrational part, does fear that Sinclair might not return for me if he goes away. An even larger and more ridiculous part of me wonders if he’s leaving me behind because the magic has faded now that we’re officially mated.

You’re right. That is ridiculous. Sinclair growls in my head, and I realize I accidentally projected my fears through our bond again. My mate sounds furious at the very notion, and apparently he was so affronted by this idea that he couldn’t stay silent. You know how crazy I am for you, trouble. You know I’ll always come back. You put those doubts out of your gorgeous head this instant.

Get out of my thoughts! I order bitterly, trying to imagine a great granite wall shutting over our mental link. I’m not sure if it works entirely, but Sinclair doesn’t speak again. I return my focus to my tangled emotions, and though I am a bit hurt that my mate can stand the idea of being away from me, I quickly

confirm that my greatest upset is due to his lack of support. I believe I can handle the challenges of this journey and that it’s important for my wolf to get experience in the real world – so why doesn’t he? Does he really believe I’m so weak that I’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble?

Baby, I told you it isn’t like that. Sinclair chimes in again, and I feel the full weight of his hatred for the idea of separating us, as well as his love and belief in my abilities. I just need you to be safe. If we can get through this we’ll have a lifetime of opportunities for you to-

I said get out! I repeat angrily, imagining a giant lock on the granite wall, and mentally slamming the bolt into the ground before wrapping it up in thick chains. I’m still not sure if it fixed the problem, so I decide to test my sneaky mate. Dominic, I want you to know you’re a great big dummy. You smell terrible and your wolf has fleas.

Silence. Beautiful, utter tranquility. Finally. I think in exasperation. I know blocking the bond with Sinclair will get easier the more I practice, but now it takes almost all of my strength in order to keep him out. As I pass the dining room on my way to the kitchens, I hear Roger and Cora talking in tense voices. I slow down, feeling both guilty for eavesdropping but also impossibly curious about their conversation. I haven’t had a chance to ask my sister about the tension between them yet, but it’s so palpable that you’d have to be blind to miss it.

Roger’s husky voice floats through the door, and I can hear one racing heartbeat and another, much steadier one. “So what will it be, Cora? Do you want to surrender now? Or do you want to keep pretending like you don’t feel this thing between us?”

I press my hand over my mouth to smother my gasp. I can’t believe Cora hasn’t told me that Roger has been pursuing her this way. I thought it had just begun, but from the sounds of it this has been building for a while.” Just because you feel something, doesn’t mean I do,” Cora replies, her voice shaking. “And for the record, if you’re going to be chasing after humans you should know we don’t believe the

word ‘surrender’ belongs in discussions of romance. It’s generally reserved for battlefields and arrest warrants.” She adds primly.

A few months ago I would have agreed with her, the word surrender used to evoke images of violence and animosity for me. Now it only evokes the blissful release of being at my mate’s mercy, of letting him take control of my body and trusting him to take care of me.

Roger chuckles darkly, his voice going soft and gravelly. “Haven’t you ever heard that love is a battlefield? I’m pretty sure your kind have written entire songs about it.”

“Who said anything about love?” Cora gasps, sounding even more shocked and alarmed than before.

“Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.” Roger murmurs, and I can practically picture him brushing Cora’s hair back from her face. “Or maybe not.” He adds in a low purr, seeming amused by some reaction or expression of hers – perhaps a shiver?

I hear a chair push back from the table, and then Cora’s fleeting voice. “I have to go.”

“No.” Roger objects, sounding gentler now. “You stay, I’ll go.” His footsteps recede into the distance, then pause. In my mind’s eye, I see him turning back for one last look at my sister. “I’m sorry if this caught you off guard, but it’s not in my nature to pretend I don’t have feelings for someone when I do. I’m letting you off easy today because I know this wasn’t easy for you, but don’t expect the same lenience in the future, Cora. Pretend all you want, but I know you feel the same, and I’m not going to let you go without a fight.”

I hear one of the interior doors open and click shut, and once I’m sure Roger is gone I decide that I don’t need to avoid the dining room after all. They clearly weren’t having that conversation in front of a crowd, and I want to check on my sister.

When I enter I find Cora sitting with her face in her hands, and I can see her red cheeks through her parted fingers. Her breathing is ragged and shallow, and she jumps out of her seat when I rest my hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s only me.”

“Oh,” She exhales shakily, her dilated pupils slowly zeroing in on me. There’s a faint scent of arousal in the air, and I know it isn’t my own.

Interesting. I think, trying to mask my features so as not to mortify my sister with this information. As soon as Cora’s surprise passes, she swats my arm. ’Where have you been?!”

“I’m sorry, Dominic and I had a fight.” I explain, “I was planning on skipping dinner entirely until I realized everyone else had the same idea. Are you okay?”

“No!” Cora moans, frowning deeply. “Roger is… he’s… well basically he just made a pass at me.”

“I heard.” I say with a wince, not wanting to lie to her. “I thought something might be up with you two but I didn’t want to assume.”

“You heard the whole thing?!” Cora exclaims, eyes wide. ’Why didn’t you do something?”

“Not the whole thing, just the very end.” I assure her, wondering how long they’d been talking and what exactly ‘the whole thing’ comprised. “But what would you have had me do?” I inquire curiously, recalling the way she accused me of never letting her fight her own battles and finding it incredibly contrary that she should now hold it against me.

“Interrupt him, bite him, sic Dominic on him… I don’t know.” She sighs, winding down a bit as she works through the options and seems to realize how ironic the request was. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not your job and I should be able to handle one nosey wolf on my own… I just, I think I’m in way over my head.”

Her skin is still flushed, and I have to wonder if she would be anywhere near this agitated if she wasn’t interested in Roger. “In over your head because you don’t like him?” I begin hesitantly, wondering how to word this. “Or because you do?”

“Wha- I…” Cora trails off looking stunned. “Of course I don’t.” She exclaims, much too quickly and sharply to be believable.

“Cora.” I say pointedly. “I know you. I’ve never seen anyone get you worked up this way.” In fact, I’ve never known Cora to date anyone. She’s been with men, but only ever in one night stands with no strings attached.

“Well I’ve never been hit on by a wolf.” She counters indignantly. “I mean you should have seen him, all cocky and smug… like he knows everything and can read me so well.”

“Can he?” I ask simply, for the first time wondering whether her detached romantic life hasn’t merely been a healthy woman in her twenties sowing wild oats, but a way of avoiding a deeper connection.

“Absolutely not.” She answers firmly, shaking her head.

“Okay. Do you want me to talk to him for you?” I offer, even though I don’t really want to give her such an out. I love my sister and I don’t want Roger to pressure her if she’s truly uninterested, but my instincts are telling me it might be a good thing someone is finally pushing her out of her comfort zone.

“No.” Cora replies after a moment, seeming to dislike the idea of me fixing her problems again rather than handling this herself. With an expression of resignation, she meets my gaze with renewed determination.”Leave Roger to me.” 1

 

Chapter 167

After dinner with Cora, I visit the Palace library, searching for any excuse to avoid Sinclair as I continue to work through my feelings. My sister’s troubles with Roger offered some distraction, but I’m not sure a distraction is what I needed. My anger and frustration with my mate hasn’t lessened at all, and I haven’t had the chance to think about our conversation in any depth.

I browse the bookshelves absentmindedly, more caught up in my head than actually paying attention to the available selection. Eventually I spy a Vanaran history book on the top shelf, and my curiosity is piqued. I’d love to learn more about this mysterious territory, but it’s very high up and there’s not a ladder anywhere in sight. If my mate were here he wouldn’t have any problem reaching it for me, but he’s not here.

And he’s not going to be. My wolf pouts, He’s leaving, and we’re going to have to get used to doing things on our own again.

Part of me is ashamed I’ve become so reliant on a man when I spent my whole life taking care of myself and others, and suddenly it feels ridiculous that I should seek out another to solve this problem. Licking my lips, I take a quick visual measurement of the shelves, and look around the room for a chair to stand on.

Finding a plush armchair, I pull it over to the bookshelf and clamber up onto my knees on the cushioned seat. Making sure I’m steady, I slowly get my feet under me, but unfortunately this doesn’t make me tall enough to reach the top shelf. Testing one foot on the arm of the chair, I determine that it won’t topple under my weight. Stretching as far as I can, my fingertips only graze the spine of the book, and I huff in frustration.

Keeping one foot on the arm of the chair, I balance the other on one of the shelves, pushing myself up to grasp the book. Just before my fingers close around the old leatherback, a thundering voice shatters the silence.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” Dominic demands, his disapproval slamming into me full force.

Yelping in surprise, I lose my balance and begin to topple backwards. I try to hang on but my fingers slip, and I use my free arm to cradle my belly as I fall. I see a whir of motion out of the corner of my eye, and suddenly strong arms surround me. Gasping for air, I look up at my mate with relief, quickly followed by outrage. “Why would you startle me that way!” I exclaim, swatting his chest.

Sinclair’s foreboding gaze bores into me, and suddenly I’m squirming beneath the weight of his scalding temper. “Is that really what you want to say to me right now?” He inquires ominously, looking me over with concern even as he sends waves of Alpha authority through our bond to chastise me. “Goddess, Ella. Were you trying to break your neck?”

“I would have been fine if you hadn’t snuck up on me!” I argue, trying to wriggle out of his arms. However as soon as I begin trying to escape he simply holds me tighter.

“You have no business climbing on anything, especially not when you’re alone. That chair could have toppled or you could have simply lost your balance. You risked yourself and the pup.” He lectures, carrying me back towards our room.

Guilt washes over me, not for my own sake, but for my baby’s. The last thing I ever wanted was to risk Rafe. I rub my belly, trying to sense his mood. I feel pulses of uncertainty, but not due to any harm I’ve inflicted. He’s simply responding to my guilt and Sinclair’s anger. “I’m sorry.” I answer hoarsely, not sure if I’m apologizing to my pup or my mate. “I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted a book.”

Sinclair rumbles wordlessly, a clear note of suspicion in his growl. “Are you sure about that? Are you sure you weren’t trying to get back at me for leaving you behind.”

“What, by injuring myself?” I scoff, finding the mere suggestion preposterous, even though I know he’s not completely off base.

“No.” Sinclair corrects sternly. “But you warned me your wolf wouldn’t obey anyone but me, maybe this was your way of proving it – making me think you’ll get up to too much mischief without me.”

Now that’s an interesting idea. My sly wolf ponders. Maybe it’s not too late to change his mind. She has a point, but that wasn’t what happened and Sinclair will know if I lie. “I didn’t even know you were there.” I remind him sulkily, “And not everything is about you, Dominic.” I add spitefully, trying to drown out the swell of tangled emotions rising up inside of me. I feel like I’m all over the place, my moods swinging back and forth between sadness, worry, anger and resentment, muddying my mental state.

As if trying to prove just how hormonal I am in this moment, my brain veers away from irritation, moving to regret and guilt from the knowledge Sinclair is displeased with my behavior. Is there a worse feeling than when one’s mate is angry and disappointed with you?

I didn’t realize I sent the question through our bond until Sinclair’s wolf replies. How do you think I feel? His arms tighten reflexively on my body. But there is a worse feeling, and it’s failing to protect them or help them when they need you.

My heart softens toward him, especially when he lets me feel how distressed he’s been by my own unhappiness. My guilt increases, and suddenly tears are burning in my eyes. I feel so overwhelmed and I’m not sure how to put my feelings into words. I also don’t want snatches of chaotic emotion to reach him through the bond in case they send the wrong message, so I pull the mental wall down between us, locking it tight.

Sinclair frowns, clearly disliking the fact that I’ve cut myself off from him. Still, he doesn’t complain and when we finally reach our rooms he asks. “If it wasn’t about me then what was it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I sniffle, wallowing in self-pity. “I just want to go to bed.”

Sinclair moves into the sitting area, settling on the couch and arranging me in his lap. “We’re not going to bed angry, little wolf.” He informs me, firm but gentle.

“But I want to be angry with you.” I share petulantly, knowing how childish I sound and not caring. “It’s your fault that I’ve become so needy and dependent. I used to do everything for myself, and now I can’t even get a book without asking for help.”

“Mmm,” Sinclair purrs sympathetically. “And my departure has thrown that into perspective, has it?” He nods. “I hate to say it, but that still sounds like it’s about me, trouble.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” I repeat stubbornly, trying to get up so I can go crawl into my nest.

To my surprise, Sinclair lets me stand, but once I’m on my feet he traps me between his legs, keeping his hands on my hips as he looks up at me. “Ella, I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.”

My knees wobble, suddenly feeling weak. “So soon?”

‘There isn’t any time to waste.” He confirms gravely. “And I don’t want to go without settling things between us. I know you want to prove to yourself that you can handle the challenges and risks of being a Luna, but that’s obviously not everything.” He assesses shrewdly, softening his tone as he strokes the hair back from my face, cradling my head in his large hand. “I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you, baby.”

As I look into his deep green eyes, I feel at a loss. The capricious, contrary part of me doesn’t want him to make it better at all. If I ask him to fix this, I’ll just be relying on him to solve my problems for me – again.

I don’t know what to do, because there isn’t a right answer this time. If I stay behind then I’ll be on my own, but the only challenge I’ll face is getting through the day without my mate. If I go with him I might

have a chance to prove myself, but I’ll also be staying in the safe cocoon of his protection. So which is worse?

‘This isn’t going to get better, Dominic.” I finally reply, wrapping my arms around myself. “I don’t want you to go without me. I’m no use to you or the pack if I’m here alone.” I take a shaky breath, my throat itching. “And it does scare me to realize how much I need you, but not only because it makes me feel vulnerable, but because you’re running off into possible danger and I’m terrified that if something happens and I’m not with you…” I trail off, not able to put my riotous emotions into words.

Sinclair exhales deeply and stands, his thumb brushing back and forth along my cheek. “And that’s what I’m afraid of.” He admits. “If something happens to me, I want you as far away from that danger as possible.”

I gnaw on my lower lip, averting my eyes as tears well. ‘Then there’s really no way I can change your mind?” “No, Ella.” Sinclair confirms. “My mind is made up.” He towers over me, his wolf flashing in his eyes. “Now, about this climbing bookcases business…

 

Chapter 168

After dinner with Cora, I visit the Palace library, searching for any excuse to avoid Sinclair as I continue to work through my feelings. My sister’s troubles with Roger offered some distraction, but I’m not sure a distraction is what I needed. My anger and frustration with my mate hasn’t lessened at all, and I haven’t had the chance to think about our conversation in any depth.

I browse the bookshelves absentmindedly, more caught up in my head than actually paying attention to the available selection. Eventually I spy a Vanaran history book on the top shelf, and my curiosity is piqued. I’d love to learn more about this mysterious territory, but it’s very high up and there’s not a ladder anywhere in sight. If my mate were here he wouldn’t have any problem reaching it for me, but he’s not here.

And he’s not going to be. My wolf pouts, He’s leaving, and we’re going to have to get used to doing things on our own again.

Part of me is ashamed I’ve become so reliant on a man when I spent my whole life taking care of myself and others, and suddenly it feels ridiculous that I should seek out another to solve this problem. Licking my lips, I take a quick visual measurement of the shelves, and look around the room for a chair to stand on.

Finding a plush armchair, I pull it over to the bookshelf and clamber up onto my knees on the cushioned seat. Making sure I’m steady, I slowly get my feet under me, but unfortunately this doesn’t make me tall enough to reach the top shelf. Testing one foot on the arm of the chair, I determine that it won’t topple under my weight. Stretching as far as I can, my fingertips only graze the spine of the book, and I huff in frustration.

Keeping one foot on the arm of the chair, I balance the other on one of the shelves, pushing myself up to grasp the book. Just before my fingers close around the old leatherback, a thundering voice shatters the silence.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” Dominic demands, his disapproval slamming into me full force.

Yelping in surprise, I lose my balance and begin to topple backwards. I try to hang on but my fingers slip, and I use my free arm to cradle my belly as I fall. I see a whir of motion out of the corner of my eye, and suddenly strong arms surround me. Gasping for air, I look up at my mate with relief, quickly followed by outrage. “Why would you startle me that way!” I exclaim, swatting his chest.

Sinclair’s foreboding gaze bores into me, and suddenly I’m squirming beneath the weight of his scalding temper. “Is that really what you want to say to me right now?”

He inquires ominously, looking me over with concern even as he sends waves of Alpha authority through our bond to chastise me. “Goddess, Ella. Were you trying to break your neck?”

“I would have been fine if you hadn’t snuck up on me!” I argue, trying to wriggle out of his arms. However as soon as I begin trying to escape he simply holds me tighter.

“You have no business climbing on anything, especially not when you’re alone. That chair could have toppled or you could have simply lost your balance. You risked yourself and the pup.” He lectures, carrying me back towards our room.

Guilt washes over me, not for my own sake, but for my baby’s. The last thing I ever wanted was to risk Rafe. I rub my belly, trying to sense his mood. I feel pulses of uncertainty, but not due to any harm I’ve inflicted. He’s simply responding to my guilt and Sinclair’s anger. “I’m sorry.” I answer hoarsely, not sure if I’m apologizing to my pup or my mate. “I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted a book.”

Sinclair rumbles wordlessly, a clear note of suspicion in his growl. “Are you sure about that? Are you sure you weren’t trying to get back at me for leaving you behind.”

“What, by injuring myself?” I scoff, finding the mere suggestion preposterous, even though I know he’s not completely off base.

“No.” Sinclair corrects sternly. “But you warned me your wolf wouldn’t obey anyone but me, maybe this was your way of proving it – making me think you’ll get up to too much mischief without me.”

Now that’s an interesting idea. My sly wolf ponders. Maybe it’s not too late to change his mind. She has a point, but that wasn’t what happened and Sinclair will know if I lie.

“I didn’t even know you were there.” I remind him sulkily, “And not everything is about you, Dominic.” I add spitefully, trying to drown out the swell of tangled emotions rising up inside of me. I feel like I’m all over the place, my moods swinging back and forth between sadness, worry, anger and resentment, muddying my mental state.

As if trying to prove just how hormonal I am in this moment, my brain veers away from irritation, moving to regret and guilt from the knowledge Sinclair is displeased with my behavior. Is there a worse feeling than when one’s mate is angry and disappointed with you?

I didn’t realize I sent the question through our bond until Sinclair’s wolf replies. How do you think I feel? His arms tighten reflexively on my body. But there is a worse feeling, and it’s failing to protect them or help them when they need you.

My heart softens toward him, especially when he lets me feel how distressed he’s been by my own unhappiness. My guilt increases, and suddenly tears are burning in my eyes. I feel so overwhelmed and I’m not sure how to put my feelings into words. I also don’t want snatches of chaotic emotion to reach him through the bond in case they send the wrong message, so I pull the mental wall down between us, locking it tight.

Sinclair frowns, clearly disliking the fact that I’ve cut myself off from him. Still, he doesn’t complain and when we finally reach our rooms he asks. “If it wasn’t about me then what was it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I sniffle, wallowing in self-pity. “I just want to go to bed.”

Sinclair moves into the sitting area, settling on the couch and arranging me in his lap.

“We’re not going to bed angry, little wolf.” He informs me, firm but gentle.

“But I want to be angry with you.” I share petulantly, knowing how childish I sound and not caring. “It’s your fault that I’ve become so needy and dependent. I used to do everything for myself, and now I can’t even get a book without asking for help.”

“Mmm,” Sinclair purrs sympathetically. “And my departure has thrown that into perspective, has it?” He nods. “I hate to say it, but that still sounds like it’s about me, trouble.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” I repeat stubbornly, trying to get up so I can go crawl into my nest.

To my surprise, Sinclair lets me stand, but once I’m on my feet he traps me between his legs, keeping his hands on my hips as he looks up at me. “Ella, I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.”

My knees wobble, suddenly feeling weak. “So soon?”

‘There isn’t any time to waste.” He confirms gravely. “And I don’t want to go without settling things between us. I know you want to prove to yourself that you can handle the challenges and risks of being a Luna, but that’s obviously not everything.” He assesses shrewdly, softening his tone as he strokes the hair back from my face, cradling my head in his large hand. “I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you, baby.”

As I look into his deep green eyes, I feel at a loss. The capricious, contrary part of me doesn’t want him to make it better at all. If I ask him to fix this, I’ll just be relying on him to solve my problems for me – again.

I don’t know what to do, because there isn’t a right answer this time. If I stay behind then I’ll be on my own, but the only challenge I’ll face is getting through the day without my mate. If I go with him I might have a chance to prove myself, but I’ll also be staying in the safe cocoon of his protection. So which is worse?

‘This isn’t going to get better, Dominic.” I finally reply, wrapping my arms around myself. “I don’t want you to go without me. I’m no use to you or the pack if I’m here alone.” I take a shaky breath, my throat itching. “And it does scare me to realize how much I need you, but not only because it makes me feel vulnerable, but because you’re running off into possible danger and I’m terrified that if something happens and I’m not with you…” I trail off, not able to put my riotous emotions into words.

Sinclair exhales deeply and stands, his thumb brushing back and forth along my cheek. “And that’s what I’m afraid of.” He admits. “If something happens to me, I want you as far away from that danger as possible.”

I gnaw on my lower lip, averting my eyes as tears well. ‘Then there’s really no way I can change your mind?” “No, Ella.” Sinclair confirms. “My mind is made up.” He towers over me, his wolf flashing in his eyes. “Now, about this climbing bookcases business…

 

Chapter 169

“Ella, why are we doing this?” Cora inquires in exasperation, her legs treading the steaming water of the palace baths.

“Because I’m avoiding Dominic and water is the only way I know to hide my scent.” I answer primly, swimming around her in circles. I’m wearing a borrowed swimsuit, and I’d even showered with Cora’s soap and worn her clothes on the way here – anything to try and disguise my scent.

I then persuaded Gabriel to show me some of the hidden passages in the Royal residence so that Sinclair couldn’t track me through the halls, and as far as I know my mate doesn’t even know these baths exist. They’re a relic from a bygone era, when it had been in fashion to bathe socially rather than in private. I wouldn’t know about them if I hadn’t asked. Luckily the King seems so amused by my schemes that he hasn’t shown any reluctance to help me, regardless of his friendship with my mate.

“This is silly,” Cora complains, rolling her big brown eyes. “He can’t make you forgive him if you’re not ready.”

I snort with laughter, rubbing my belly and sharing my amusement with my unborn pup. ‘Try telling that to an Alpha.” I retort wryly. “As far as Dominic is concerned he can declare our fight over and sex me into complacency.”

“I still don’t see why you should have to hide. I mean he might think that but it’s not like it could actually work…” She trails off, studying me closely.” Right?’

“Well not the way you mean.” I admit flushing deep pink. “It’s not like it would change my feelings or make me forget why I’m upset, but I also won’t be able to resist him.” I confess, heat pooling in my belly

at the very thought. “He has this power over me, Cora. Even though I want to stay angry because I feel in my bones that I’m right, part of me still wants him to find me, because he’s my mate and it’s right that he should.” She still looks confused, so I continue, “It’s a mark of his power, proof that I don’t ever have to worry about being lost because he’ll always find me. And it’s the same with sex… I respond to his dominance on an instinctual level, and when he employs it against me… I don’t stand a chance – which I hate but also secretly love.”

“So if he does figure out you’re here and drag you off like a caveman, you’ll cave?” Cora surmises, shaking her head. “My lionhearted sister? No, I don’t believe it.”

“Believe it,” I sigh mournfully. Til be putty in his hands and afterwards I’ll be all sated and sleepy and he’ll start sweet talking me… and the next thing you know I’ll be cuddling up to him instead of kicking him out of bed to sleep on the couch where he belongs.”

“That sounds diabolical.” Cora frowns, sharing my indignation with such ruthless tactics.

“Just you wait.” I chuckle,”If you don’t find a way to dissuade Roger you’ll be in the same boat soon.”

“No, actually I think he got the message.” Cora denies, and an image flashes into my mind of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. “He hasn’t made a move or mentioned it again.”

I can only scoff, “It was just yesterday, Cora.” Briefly I wonder if I’m making things better or worse by warning her. The more I’ve considered it, the more I think a wolf like Roger might be good for my sister, and if she knows what’s coming she’ll be prepared. She’ll also probably resist her feelings all the more, which will egg his wolf on like nothing else. “I guarantee he didn’t give up that quickly. In fact, the more quiet things are the more worried I’d be. Knowing wolves he’ll wait until the very moment you think you’re safe before jumping out and snatching you up.”

“Very well put, mate.” Sinclair’s rumbling voice sounds behind us, and Cora and I both jump a foot into the air. I don’t know how he managed to sneak up on us, when I’m as attuned to his scent as I am, but

damned if he didn’t find a way. Cora and I swim to the other side of the pool, determined to make a break for it, but Sinclair is too fast. He’s there waiting when I reach the water’s edge, and before I can consider turning to race away in the opposite direction he plucks me out of the sunken bath.

“Dominic, let me go! This isn’t fair.” I object, wriggling and writhing in his arms.

“I disagree.” He purrs with dark amusement. ‘These were your terms baby, you set the challenge and I rose to it. And before you try to pretend otherwise, you should know I can feel how satisfied your wolf is. She knows this is the way it’s supposed to be.”

He’s right, the tyrant. My wolf is all ready to roll over and show him her belly, to invite his own inner animal to ravish her as if she’s not every bit as upset as I am that he’s leaving – if not more so. I’m muttering mutinously under my breath now, but Sinclair doesn’t seem to mind, he simply hitches me up into his arms and nods to Cora before carting me out of the room.

“You’re dripping water everywhere, you know.” I tell him bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest as we move through the halls.

“I am?’ He inquires, sounding much too pleased with himself, the rat.” From where I’m standing it looks like you’re the one making a mess of the King’s lovely parquet.” He has a point. I am the one who’s all wet, but I took a towel to the baths and he abandoned it in his determination to be an ogre.

At the same time, his wolf is growling in my head, making sultry declarations that have my own wolf squirming with anticipation and need. Such a naughty mate, hiding from me, disguising your delectable scent… wasting the precious time we have left together making me search for you … fighting me when all I want is to take care of you. What am I going to do with such an unruly little she-wolf?

You could release me and apologize for being a big bully and not letting me do my job as your Luna. She sasses in reply. If I’m unruly it’s only because you’re being especially unreasonable.

Sinclair strides into our rooms, and sets me on the ground, closing the door behind him. He stands before me with his hands on his hips, looming so close that mere inches separate us. No, it means you’re frightened and hurt and lashing out at me when all I’m doing is trying to protect our family. He corrects me sternly.

Sinclair prowls forward, and I back away, bracing myself for more admonitions. Instead my mate’s features soften as he reaches for me. And that’s okay, because I don’t like it any more than you do and I know how important stability is to your sense of wellbeing – especially now that you’re breeding. He shares, surprising me with this show of empathy. I also know that I represent stability and safety to your wolf, so while you may be expressing your frustration about your role as my Luna, the real issue here is separation anxiety. Sinclair concludes firmly. Am I wrong?

No, I squeak, so caught up in our conversation that I can’t stop to think how strange and right it seems that this is all happening in our heads.

I thought not. Sinclair nods, never taking his eyes off me. I know it’s frightening to feel so attached to me, when you’ve never relied on anyone this way before – but what you need to understand is that this is what being mated is for wolves. It’s not a sign of weakness or unhealthiness, it’s a tribute to the depth and strength of our connection. I feel the same dependance on you, Ella, but it doesn’t scare me because I know it’s right.

For a moment I’m truly startled by how well he seems to understand my feelings, but I quickly realize how foolish this is. Of course he knows, I’ve probably sent half of these things through our bond. Still, it’s more reassuring than I could imagine to feel so seen by the man I love.

Sinclair is still going, still bearing down on me as I instinctively retreat. It’s also why it’s so important that we don’t waste a single minute together.

Now that we’ve shared this love, life without it seems unimaginable and fucking unbearable – and there might come a day when that happens, as much as I despise that possibility.

Suddenly I feel absolutely wretched for avoiding my mate – for running and hiding when he’s exactly right. I’m on the verge of tears for the dozenth time today, but this is the first time it’s due to my own guilt, rather than my misplaced anger with Sinclair. “I’m sorry.” I hiccup, speaking aloud for the first time. I stop backing away, instead leaning forward and wrapping my arms around his middle. “You’re right. I’ve been acting like a child.”

Sinclair purrs and returns my embrace, squeezing me tightly. “You’ve been acting like a she-wolf who’s afraid, and one whose mate isn’t giving her what she needs… but I just can’t this time, sweetheart.”

“I know.” I nod, sniffling. “But it was easier to blame you than face my feelings.”

“I know.” He croons, giving me the same acceptance and confirmation I’ve just offered. Of course, a moment later his tender tone goes dark and sultry, “But we still have tonight, plenty of time for me to give you that dominance you hate but secretly love…”

I gulp, my eyes going wide as I take in his wolfish features as I recall my conversation with Cora. “You heard that?’ “Oh yes, trouble.” He confirms, sensual promise in his deep voice. “I certainly did.” i

 

Chapter 170

The next morning Ella and I stay in bed as long as we’re able.

I wake early, but my mate is snuggled so sweetly in my arms and I can’t bear to disturb her – not even for an encore of last night’s lovemaking.

After we resolved our fight, I’d been perfectly ready to take Ella to bed then and there – however, before I could lay a hand on her, she looked up at me with those big golden eyes and said, “I thought we were going to run?”

I purred knowingly, sensing her wolf’s restlessness despite the fact that she’d tried to escape my plans for us. “So somebody’s wolf wants to come out and play before I rut you senseless, hmm?”

“Well,” She responded slyly, tangling her arms around my neck. “If you want to give me stability then following through on the expectations you set would be very important, don’t you think?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, throwing my head back and releasing a booming chuckle. “You do remember the second part of the promise I made you, don’t you?” I teased, once I was able to speak again.

All mischief now, Ella batted her lashes, “something about not being able to walk until you come home to me?”

“That’s right.” I confirmed, running my hand down her back and over her luscious behind. “Only after your antics tonight I think we might need to add: not sitting for a week either.”

My brazen mate rolled her eyes, even as her pulse spiked and the scent of her arousal rose to combine with her already intoxicating fragrance.” Dominic, you are obsessed! You just spanked me yesterday.”

“Because you were naughty yesterday too – and don’t act like you don’t love it every bit as much as I do.” I warned, lowering my lips to my mark and nibbling Ella’s scrumptious neck. I knew the sweet human was still struggling to come to terms with this side of her sexuality, but I wasn’t going to show her any mercy. “I can smell your excitement, little mate.” I reminded her. “Besides, I wasn’t talking about spanking this time. You really pushed your luck today, so I’m going to have to get more creative.”

Ella blinked in surprise, or she tried to. Her head was lolling to the side as I laved the soft spot behind her ear, and she was struggling to keep the gears working in her mind. When I pulled back to switch to the other ear, her quick mind was obviously trying to piece together this puzzle. She was so distracted and consumed by her feverish lust that she eventually sent her confusion through our bond, but if it’s not that, then why wouldn’t I be able to… Deciding to help her, I trailed one finger down between the round globes of her bottom, tapping my fingertip against her back entrance through her bathing suit.

Oh! A shiver wracked her small body as curiosity, exhilaration and trepidation combined to make a sharp cocktail in Ella’s blood, flowing from her senses into my own. It was a delicious combination. I’ve never done that before. Ella murmured after a moment, alight with nervous excitement.

I figured as much. I shared, delighted by this confirmation. It might have been irrational, as every first with my mate has been incredible, but I’ve always taken a certain smug pleasure in introducing Ella to new things. Especially the things that make her blush – the ones her human upbringing taught her to be embarrassed about but she can’t help but enjoy. And even if you had, I doubt your abominable ex could have prepared you for me.

My words did exactly as I intended, and Ella’s eyes widened as she considered our size difference. Will it hurt? She asked shyly, leaning into me for comfort even though I was the one scandalizing her sense of propriety.

It will in the beginning. It will feel strange and forbidden. But it’s like taking my mark. I explained with a lethal grin, closing my teeth over that special spot once more. If your mate knows what he’s doing, it

can feel better than you’d ever imagined.

Then why is it a punishment? Ella inquired suspiciously.

Because it will take a bit of discomfort before you start to enjoy yourself, and because it puts you in a very vulnerable position, little mate. You have to trust me implicitly, and there is no better way to make you feel so thoroughly claimed – because there is no part of you that’s off limits to me. No part that I haven’t possessed.

Ella shivered again, and I didn’t bother mentioning how much I was going to enjoy watching her blush and squirm over the new sensations. And Goddess did I.

After we returned from a long run on the shores of the lake, I spent a good long time preparing Ella, working her up to the edge of orgasm three times as I stretched and toyed with her tight back channel. Only then did I finally bring out my cock, gently rocking into her with lots of encouragement and praise as she grappled with the intrusion.

Sure enough, as intrigued as she’d been by the idea, her shyness and inexperience came out in full force once I actually began touching her in such a forbidden place. She was crimson faced and making the cutest sounds of reluctant pleasure and embarrassment well before we reached the main event, and when I was finally inside her and began telling her how wonderful she felt – using the dirty words that scandalize and delight her in equal measure, she came to pieces in my arms.

Of course, that was nothing compared to the rapture she found when I began strumming her swollen clit and sank my fingers into her weeping sex on top of everything else. She cried out in ecstasy and slumped back against me, trusting me to support her as she disappeared to a heightened plane of erotic bliss. That was the point that I lost my own control as well, spilling my seed into her clenching sheath as I brought her over the edge again and again.

I’m sure Ella thought we were done after such an overwhelming mating, but I’m nothing if not good for my word. I kept my poor mate up all night long, exhausting her and putting my own endurance to the test. Luckily our ravenous appetites for one another were spurred on by the knowledge that this was our last joining for a few weeks, so we came together as many times as we were able.

So this morning, as I look down at my slumbering mate, overflowing with love and admiration as I caress her pregnant belly and commune with our unborn pup, I can only hope I did enough to satisfy and reassure herover the weeks to come. I’ve been watching her for a while when she finally stretches and emits a sleepy moan, making me rethink whether this morning should be reserved for innocent cuddles after all. My wolf drags his attention from Rafe, quieting his continuous proclamations of love for the tiny babe, to focus on our mate.

When Ella’s dark lashes part and her beautiful gaze focuses on me, her brow furrows much too quickly for my liking. “I don’t want you to go.” She whispers, sounding so vulnerable it nearly breaks me.

“I don’t want to go either.” I confess, hoping that hearing my own reluctance will offer her some comfort. I understand Ella well enough to realize that knowing she’s not hurting alone can go a long way to easing this ache. “But I’ll be back before you know it, baby.”

Her tiny hand moves to her navel, joining mine to rest above our son’s kicking feet. “I’ll be entering my third trimester by the time you’re back. Just wait, I’ll be as round as a beach ball.”

I rumble regretfully, “I hate that I have to miss a single day of this miracle. I always thought that if I ever became a father I’d be there every step of the way.”

Ella uses her free hand to stroke my jaw, “You’ll be there for all the moments that count. This is the easiest time after all… I’m not constantly sick anymore, and I’m not so big yet that I can’t be active. I’ll just be sleeping a lot and making lots of odd snacks.”

“But who will feed them to you?” I wonder, teasing her plump lower lip with my thumb.

“Well you are leaving me with lots of big strong guards.” Ella replies cheekily, “I suppose I could ask one of them.”

“Over my dead body.” I growl, claiming her lips in a punishing kiss. She whimpers into my mouth, sliding her hands into my dark hair and holding my face against hers. When we part, I’m struggling to keep my wolf under control. “Goddess, I miss you already and I haven’t even left.”

Ella smiles sadly. “I know you’re only going because it’s the right thing for the pack. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make you proud in the meantime.” She vows. By now she knows all the plans I arranged with Gabriel, and she immediately took them to heart.

“You already do make me proud.” I inform her honestly. “And with any luck, we might know where you come from by the time I get back.”

“I doubt that.” Ella frowns. Though she’d been honored by the responsibilities of watching over the refugees and planning the political summit, she’d been less thrilled with the idea of digging into her past – though I know that’s only because she’s afraid of what she might learn. Yet despite her anxiety, she continues seriously. “But if you really believe it’s important, I’ll do my best.”

“I do.” I confirm, grazing my knuckles over her cheek. “The more time that passes, the more I have to think you and I met by design… and I highly doubt the Goddess or whoever put all this into motion did so simply to make us happy. It’s possible your past is related to all this – the war, the revolution. We need to find out who you are, trouble.”

Ella nods. “Then we will. Just come back to me, Dominic. Whatever happens, promise you’ll come back to me.” “I promise.” I say, kissing her deeply and praying it won’t be for the last time. “Whatever happens.”