Ch. 201..210

Chapter 201

I’m staring at Sinclair in utter shock, wishing I could unhear the words that just came out of his mouth.

You’re saying that my father is King Xavier?” I gape, all the joy from the last hour slipping away.

The King who died without an heir and led to your father’s campaign against Damon’s? The one who k!lled your mother?”

(We don’t know for sure that he k!lled my mother.”

Sinclair soothes, “And even if he did, it’s not as though that changes anything.”

“It means that my father is a murderer – a dead murderer!” I cry, feeling my stomach rise into my throat. It means he ruled over the city where I grew up in terrible conditions and never… never did anything to make sure I was alright.”

It hadn’t even occurred to me that the Goddess’s tale essentially made me a Princess. I’d latched onto the fact that my parents wanted me and glossed over everything else she said- like the fact that my father was a King and that I was chosen to unite humans and wolves. Now that I remember it feels like the entire world is crashing down around me. Baby, we don’t have all the answers yet.” Sinclair quickly gathers me back into his arms, sensing my quickly fraying nerves. “This was only your third session and for all we know, your parents never knew where you ended up. Servants of the goddess might have taken you and given you to the orphanage, just like they handled binding your wolf and… whatever the incident in the forest was about.”

But he’s dead.” I repeat, hating that this fact bothers me more than the rest. “I always thought that if I found my parents I’d get to meet them… and now I never can.”

“Xavier is dead.” Sinclair confirms, turning my face up to his. “But your mother lives, Ella. Queen Reina left Moon Valley after Xavier died and the last I heard, she dedicated herself to the Goddess. When this is all over we can find her.”

“Reina?” I murmur realizing I’d never heard the Queen addressed by her name. That’s the surname they a.ssigned me at the orphanage. I always went by Ella Reina. “

“Maybe that was her gift to you… a clue to find her when the time came.” Sinclair suggests.

“And the Goddess?” I ask, feeling suddenly so overwhelmed with emotion that everything seems numb, too convoluted to identify any single feeling from the tangled mass. “She called herself one of my parents too… and she knew all of it, she sent those wolves to bind me, like you said.”

She also said it all happened for a reason.” Sinclair reminds me tenderly. “I know it feels like no reason could ever be worth such terrible trauma, but she must have thought it was necessary. I can’t believe she would have done it otherwise.”

“So you’re taking her side?” I sniffle, burying my face in his neck.

Never.’” He retorts, stroking my spine. “From now until eternity, your side is the only one I will ever take… and If I ever come face to face with that b!tch I’ll punch her right in her beautiful face. We’l just see how long she stays prettier than me once I get my hands on her.”

I hiccup a laugh, sliding my arms around his neck.«

Thank you.” I whisper, tilting my face up for a k!ss.

He doesn’t disappoint me, and we sink down onto the bed together, determined to make the most of the time we have left in the dream.

3rd Person

Roger was lying in his suite, trying to wrap his brain around the day’s events when a knock sounded at his door. He rose and crossed the room, his nose picking up on his new favorite scent, though he could scarcely believe it was real.

But sure enough, when the door swung open, Cora leaned in the doorframe, her dark eyes wide and vulnerable. “You still wanna have that drink?”

“of course,” He ushered her in and took her ordęr, preparing the requested c0cktail without a word – waiting for her to take the lead.

“Don’t turn this into something it’s not,” Cora warned as he handed her the glass. “I’ve just had a really long day and I just need to decompress a bit.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Roger inquired, certain she would turn down the offer.

But she surprised him again, “I think I might be a terrible person.” She admitted dolefully.

“Why do you say that?” Roger asked, fixing his own drink.

“Ella thinks if she doesn’t tell me about all the secrets she’s uncovering, then I won’t find out… she doesn’t seem realize that she’s a celebrity here.”

Cora shook her head. “It’s all over the palace already, the long lost daughter of King Xavier, of the Goddess herself- however that works.”

“Okay?” Roger asked, knowing better than to guess what was bothering her.

“The point is that if anyone deserves to be happy… it’s my sister.” Cora groused, trailing off.

“But.?” Roger prompted.

“But we were always each other’s only family.” Cora shared bleakly. “Sure, when we were little, we hoped and prayed that our parents would come for us… that’s a hope that never really goes away. But the older we got, we were bonded by the fact that we never knew where we came from and never would.

We chose each other to be our family. And now she might find her real one and I.. I’m angry at her. I’m angry that she’s getting answers that I never will.

“Are you afraid that she won’t need you anymore if she finds them?” Roger inquired gently. “Because that’s not going to happen.”

I wish it were that – that would be easier than the truth.” Cora confessed miserably. “Fear is forgivable. Jealousy is just selfish and petty… But I am jealous. It feels like this is just another way that the world revolves around Ella. It was hard enough when she was just my brilliant, beautiful little sister. No matter what happened to her, she never fell apart, and even though she was good at everything, she was never prideful about it.”

“I became a doctor, thinking a prestigious job might even the playing field… but she could have been one too, she just didn’t want to. She only ever wanted to teach children and have a family. Then I got the job at the s.perm bank and learned this h.uge secret about the world, I was doing science unlike anything I could have hoped for and I didn’t mind keeping the secret about shifters because I felt special for the first time in my life.” Cora revealed, her eyes shining. “Then Ella turns out to be a wolf.

And now.. she’s an actual princess, a gift from the Goddess.

Roger sighed, understanding only too well. “You know, sometimes I find that when I have a horrible, unconscionable thought. Something so terrible that it shames me to my core, that sometimes saying it out loud can help, because then at least I can acknowledge it and let it go.”

Cora nodded slowly. “It’s wrong and cruel of me to feel this way, after everything she did for me, after everything she’s been through. I know that… But,” Cora professed, taking a deep breath. Ella shouldn’t get to find her family too… I want to win, just once.”

Roger watches as she buries her face in her hands. Why can’t I figure out how to define myself outside of her? This is my life, not hers, so why does our relationship have so much power over me? Why can’t I figure out how to be my own person?

“If anyone understands that, it’s me.” Roger assured her, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Hell, I plotted against my brother with his enemy, I actually helped attack his mate -»

Wait, what?” Cora interrupted. “Are you talking about Lydia, or Ella?”

“Why, Ella. That night behind the club.” Roger paled as he realized his mistake, “I thought you knew.”

“No.” Cora hissed slamming her drink down. “I did not. Explain – right now.”

 

Chapter 202

If I thought the world was going to look different waking up as a princess, I was wrong. Everything is the same, even though I feel like an entirely different person than I was yesterday. I suppose I should be getting used to having my entire identity and sense of self turned upside down and inside out, but it never seems to get any easier. If anything it just becomes more confusing. I still can’t believe that I know who my parents are… that my father likely killed Sinclair’s mother… that my own mother is out there somewhere. Frankly I can’t even contemplate the Goddess’s role in all this, it’s difficult enough being a princess without also being some sort of demi god.

Above all else, I can’t wait until Sinclair is home next week. Yes, we’ll be preoccupied with the summit, but with everything that’s happening right now I simply don’t feel steady without him. I need my mate, and I know he’s just as anxious being away. He would barely release me from our dream date last night, making me promise to take it easy today and call him if I got overwhelmed. He could clearly sense my reluctance to agree – but can you blame me? I don’t want to interrupt my mate while he’s making battle alliances just because I feel a bit weepy.

I force myself to get up and out of bed, even though I feel like I could sleep for a year. I’m almost four months along now, and the baby is more active than ever. He’s also creating new challenges for my body – like testing the limits of my bladder, stomach and brain. I move in front of my mirror to marvel at my round belly, running my hands over my stretched skin. I’d been worried that my stretch marks would be gigantic since my body is trying to cram nine months of growth into six, but I see only a few feathers of purple and white around my sides and breasts. It’s also difficult to feel self-conscious about them when my mate insists on calling them love marks’ and kisses them every chance he gets.

Of course, another challenge is the fact that none of my clothes fit anymore. Luckily Gabriel’s tailors have been hard at work designing me a line of maternity dresses and gowns for the summit, but we’ve still got a week to go before they’re ready and I don’t want to walk around naked until then. I head for the closet and eye all the pretty outfits I bought when we first arrived here, sighing in resignation as I turn to Sinclair’s rack of clothes. I snag one of his t-shirts, which fits snugly on his powerful build, but hangs around my thighs like a dress, even with my baby bump. I find a pair of very stretchy leggings and don’t even bother looking at the mirror before leaving the room. I’m extremely comfortable, but I haven’t dressed this way in public since I was a teenager.

When Philippe sees me he valiantly attempts to mask his expression, so I give him a big grin. “It’s your lucky day, Philippe. We get to go shopping!

Won’t that be fun?’

His humor evaporates, and I relish the look of a man who would rather go into battle than spend the morning in a dressing room watching women try on clothes. Ha! My wolf thinks victoriously. All these big bad wolves, scared of a little shopping.

Babies. I agree, deciding to seek out Cora. Of course, I haven’t moved three feet before I notice that people are staring at me way more than usual – and I don’t think it’s my casual outfit. Everyone we come across bows their heads and moves out of my way, rather than saying hello or smiling at me like they usually do. I stop dead in my tracks. “Philippe, why is everybody acting strange?” I have a feeling I already know, but I need to hear it just to be sure.

‘You’re in a royal palace. Even the walls have ears here, and as loyal as the staff are… when it comes to gods and prophecies… nothing stays secret for long.” He remarks, shrugging in half-hearted apology.

I exhale shakily, So much for the world seeming the same today. My wolf observes.

I can’t make myself move, because a new possibility has occurred to me now. “Is it… is it always going to be this way?” I whisper, so only Philippe can hear. “People bowing and scraping wherever I go? Afraid to look me in the eye? Am I never going to have a normal interaction again?’

Philippe steps up beside me, a strong, steady presence. “I think you humans have a saying, you have to teach people how to treat you.”

My lip quirks, “thank you for calling me a human.”

He nods with a soft smile, “the point is that everyone is in shock and doesn’t know what to do… as far as we know there’s never been anyone like you before. So if you don’t want them to bow and scrape, then tell them not to. Tell them you’re the same Ella you were yesterday.”

“But then, won’t they just be obeying me because of who I am?” I inquire hesitantly.

“Maybe at first.” He confirms. “But in time they’ll get used to it, and when you go home the people there will see how your inner circle treat you and they’ll take the cue.”

“Okay.” I breathe, placing an appreciative hand on his arm. ‘Thank you.”

“Of course, your highness.” He teases, and I narrow my eyes to slits.

Philippe chuckles and returns to his place behind me as I continue down the halls, telling everyone I see not to fawn or grovel. I want to see the pups. My wolf huffs. They’re always too curious to have these silly stuck-up manners.

I like that idea. I confirm, First shopping, then the nursery.

When I reach my sister’s rooms, I’m surprised to hear her pacing and grumbling before I can even raise my hand to knock. Once I do the door swings open and Cora’s livid face greets me. “Good morning sunshine.” I say, unsure why she’s so on edge and praying I’m not the reason.

She ushers me inside. “Did you know?” Cora hisses, baffling me completely.

“Know what?” I ask, wondering if the rumors have reached her as well. My heart sinks, I’d wanted to break the news to her myself, to let her know that this changes absolutely nothing between us.

‘That Roger helped orchestrate the rogue attack the night at the club!” She exclaims, as if the answer is obvious.

“He did?’ I question, taken aback by this accusation.

‘Yes! It was a plot with the prince from the very beginning. They would attack and he’d rescue you to earn Sinclair’s trust. He acted like it was common knowledge.” Cora grouses, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I didn’t know.” I confess, “But that was months ago, before he saw reason and came back to our side.”

“How can you be sure he did?” Cora lashes out. “If he was willing to do that then how do you know he’s not willing to betray you still? Dominic thought he turned him into a double agent but maybe the Prince turned him back – to a triple agent!”

“Cora,” I begin gently. “Dominic trusts his brother, and I trust him too. Roger lost his way for a long time, but I genuinely believe he turned over a new leaf. I can guess why my mate didn’t tell me this particular detail, but honestly – I can’t bring myself to care after everything that has happened.”

“How can you say that!” Cora bursts. They might have killed you!”

“Because millions of people are dying because of Damon at this very moment, and I know Roger well enough to understand he would never let a personal feud with his brother overpower his duty to his pack. He wouldn’t help Damon do this.” I explain. “Besides in the grand scheme of things, that incident was nothing.”

“Well, you might not be able to be angry for yourself, but I sure as hell can be!” She declares fiercely. “I’ve told the rat that I’m never speaking to him again and if he comes near either of us I’ll rip his head off.”

“How did you even find out?” I inquire curiously.

Cora sneaks a furtive look in my direction, and I can see guilt written clearly on her face. “I was confiding in him… I heard about your last session.” She admits, not quite meeting my gaze. “I know you found your parents and look, I’m not proud of it, but I was really jealous and angry that your dreams are coming true and mine never will.” The words come out in a rush, and then her shoulders sag. “I think he was trying to comfort me by telling me he was an even worse person than I am – which sort of worked but it didn’t actually fix anything.” Her lower lip quivers as she glances over at me again. “I want to be happy for you Ella, I really do… I’m just not there yet.”

Before she can blink, I have my sister wrapped in a rib-crushing hug. ‘Thank you!”

‘What are you doing? Didn’t you hear what I said?” Cora questions stiffly.

“I did.” I confirm, cuddling closer to her. “Everyone has been treating me like some sort of magical china doll and it’s driving me fucking crazy.” I confess. “I need some normal. I need my sister – more than anyone else – to keep treating me like I’m the same person as before.”

“Even if I’m being a horrible, ungrateful brat?’ Cora asks against my neck, her arms coming around my back.

“Especially then.” I confirm.

She sniffles and squeezes me, “I can do that.” Cora agrees, her voice thick with emotion. “Now what the hell are you wearing?”

 

Chapter 203

After shopping with Cora and napping away the afternoon with the pups in the nursery, I find my way to Henry’s rooms. The guards told me he just returned from the refugee camp, but when he opens the door for me he’s all smiles. I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and he welcomes me in. “You wouldn’t happen to be in the mood for an afternoon snack, would you?” He inquires knowingly. “Because personally I’m starving.”

I’m fairly certain this is a plot to make sure I’m feeding myself well, but my stomach growls loudly as I find a seat on the couch. Still, I try to sound demure as I shrug, “I could eat.”

Henry laughs before calling down to the kitchens and ordering a small feast. As we eat he tells me all about his day at the refugee camp and I, in turn, share my frustration with my sudden celebrity and Cora’s news about Roger. He can only shake his head. “That boy has made some bad choices in his life, but I’ve been very proud of him these last few months. I never thought I’d see the day that my sons would repair their relationship. You know that’s down to you, don’t you?” He asks warmly, an affectionate twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, don’t say that. I’m so tired of getting credit for things that just so happened to occur in my general vicinity.” I complain, slumping back and rubbing my full belly. “Not that I don’t appreciate the compliments… I just… perfection is an impossible thing to live up to… and I am so far from perfect it’s laughable. I don’t want to end up with a reputation that I’m destined to fall short of – I’m only human after all.” A moment after the words leave my mouth, I realize they aren’t true. “I mean, not human, but I’m just a person like everyone else.”

“No one said you were perfect, Ella.” Henry reminds me pointedly. “I said that you brought Dominic and Roger back together – which is true. If you read more into that then I think you’re projecting at best, and

giving yourself too much credit at worst.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Fair enough. I suppose no one has said I’m perfect… I just… I can see the hope and the expectation in their eyes. The refugees, the servants, random people on the street… even my guards. Everyone is looking at me as though I’m the solution to this war, the ruined secrecy pact… but I’m the same person I was yesterday. I don’t have the answers to these problems.” Seeming to sense there’s more, Henry stays silent, and I catch a rogue tear slipping from the corner of my eye. “I’m terrified that I’m going to fail them all, Henry.”

Henry wheels around the coffee table, which bears the wreckage of our feast, and takes my hand in his. “Dearheart, that is part of being a pack leader. Every Alpha and every Luna has had the same fear, and I know it feels overwhelming, but it’s also your strength. Duty to your people, the desire to do right by them will keep you centered, it’s what will guide you forward through the hardest days of your reign. Now, I know the problems you’re facing are a lot bigger than what most Luna’s have to deal with, but I promise you aren’t alone in feeling this way. That’s why the responsibility is so grave.”

His words ring true, especially as I think about Sinclair. I know my mate struggles with the incredible weight of caring for all those in his territory, of living up to his title and doing his best for his people, but it still feels different to me.

“But most Alpha’s and Lunas have some idea what they’re doing.” I argue weakly. “They know this world, they’ve learned and prepared their whole lives from watching their predecessors. They know the history, the society and all of it’s challenges. I’m not even a decent ambassador to human society because my experiences were pretty damn niche.”

Henry smiles tenderly, “I’m going to give you some advice that will help you as both parent and pack leader. There are countless days ahead where you will feel uncertain, where you’re overwhelmed and exhausted and all you can do is pray that you’re not messing up your child or your people in some irreparable way.”

“Is this supposed to be comforting?” I squeak, cradling my belly protectively and wishing I could keep my son in the safe haven of my womb until this wretched war is over.

Henry chuckles good-naturedly. “The advice is just to keep putting one foot in front of the other. If you step back and think about everything at once, the weight will crush you. Just take it one day at a time, and before you know it, you’ll realize that you had what it takes all along. It won’t be easy – but I promise you, nothing is more rewarding.”

“Thank you.” I profess tearily, reaching forward to hug him. “That isn’t even what I came to talk to you about, but I guess I needed to get it out.”

“Exactly.” He purrs, patting my back. “Poor little mother, I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this alone.”

“But I’m not alone.” I correct him with a watery smile. “I have a family for the first time in my life – and I don’t mean the one who gave me up.” I clarify, wiping my eyes. “I’m so grateful to you all. I admit, it’s been one hell of a learning curve to figure out how to talk about my feelings, but I have to admit Dominic was right – it helps.” I glance at my father-in-law. “Don’t tell him I said he was right.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Henry promises, swiping his fingers over his lips and throwing away the key. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh.” I say, my face falling. I’m half tempted to brush it aside and save this conversation for another day. We’ve ended on such a lovely note, and I’m not eager to mess it all up. Still, when I glance up at Henry he’s giving me an expectant look like he knows exactly what I’m thinking and won’t let me get away with it. Not for the first time, I see where my mate gets his bossiness. Taking a deep breath, I forge ahead. “Dominic told me who my parents are.”

Henry nods in understanding, “It must have been quite a shock… Are you disappointed, that you won’t be able to meet your father?”

I shake my head fiercely, squeezing his hand as hard as I can. “I already have the only father I need.” I proclaim, and suddenly I’m not the only one who has tears in my eyes. “But I’m horrified to think that my – that Xavier might have ripped your family apart.” I confess, my tears returning. “That he stole your mate – Dominic and Roger’s mother. I don’t want to belong to his bloodline.”

Henry clucks and brushes my hair back from my face. “None of us can change where we come from, Ella.” He states softly. “But your upbringing taught you a lesson most of us don’t learn until much later in life: the family you choose can be a thousand times better than the one you were born into. Blood may be thicker than water – but so are a lot of things… mayonnaise, frosting, gravy…”

A giggle breaks through my heavy emotions, and Henry smiles in return. “The point is that your father doesn’t have to define who you are – you have more power to decide that than most.” He continues, turning my chin up to look into my face. “I knew your parents fairly well, and I can tell you right now that I don’t see any of Xavier in you – I never have.”

“And my mother?” I inquire shakily, not sure whether I truly want the answer to this question.

“Your mother was one of the kindest women I’ve ever met.” Henry shares. “She was unlucky in her fated mate, but like you, she loved her pack, and she dreamed of children. It can’t have been easy for her to give you up.”

“Do you think he knew – Xavier, I mean?” I ask. “The Goddess said he wanted an heir… would he have even cared about a girl? Would she have just told him the child died and kept the secret for herself?”

“Xavier was much like Aimon.” Henry reveals, referring to Damon’s father. “He was a ruthless king, though his bloodline was much older and stronger than the Tyrant’s. He was willing to sacrifice a few for what he believed was the good of the pack, but he wasn’t without a conscience. He wasn’t mad. If he knew the Goddess had ordained it that you be taken into hiding, he never would have disobeyed

her. If anything it would have given him great pride to think his child would be so important down the line.”

I nod, grappling with so much knew information. “Dominic also said… he said my mother is alive.”

“She devoted herself to the Goddess once Xavier died.” Henry confirms, “Which makes a lot of sense now that we know about you. I’m not sure where she went. But the Goddess’s temples tend to be in very remote, sacred places.”

“Do I look like her?” I inquire, feeling strangely vulnerable now.

Henry purses his lips. “I have a feeling that the parent you take after most is the one you’ve already met.”

It takes me a moment to realize he’s referring to the Goddess, and I have to blink a few times, trying to recall the memory. I want to say I disagree – after all, my hair isn’t made of starlight and my eyes are not the endless cosmos. But the more I think about it, the more I can see similarities – albeit very dulled and downplayed ones. My pearly white skin, eyes and hair in shades of gold I’ve never seen on another person, my light, willowy limbs…

Still, the Goddess wasn’t the one who wanted me. She might have needed me, in the same way Xavier needed a son to carry his legacy. But my mother, the one who carried and birthed me… she’s the one who wanted me.

“I want to find her.” I tell Henry suddenly. “Do you think we can track down the temple where my mother became a devotee?”

His warm gaze observes me with more understanding than I can bear. “We can try. And we’ll keep trying until we succeed.”

 

Chapter 204

When James started transporting refugees from the embattled continent to the hidden territories, his job had seemed simple – dangerous, but simple. He would land his plane on the coast and hide it as best he could, taxiing into the forest and covering the aircraft with tarps and plantlife. He would then travel inland on foot. It was twenty miles to the nearest village, so James would often trek through the night until he came to the modest inn where Sinclair’s network of spies were ferrying hunted shifters to safety. Once they were handed over into James’s care, the spies would disappear back whence they came, and James would lead his new charges to the coast.

On a few occasions things had gotten dicey, like with Sadie’s parents. They had unknowingly been followed by Damon’s agents, forcing the entire group to scatter while James and some of the abler men stayed to fight. When Sadie’s father fell, her mother hadn’t been able to stay away, and the decision cost her life. Thankfully that sort of drama was a rarity, though every refugee was consumed by near constant adrenaline on their journey, only able to relax once the plane landed in the hidden territories. At least, that’s the way things started, back when he’d had the time to learn every face and name, hear every harrowing escape story.

Everything changed when the humans learned about shifters. Now the once-empty coast was crowded with bodies as far as the eye could see. There was no longer any need to travel to the village, because the refugees came straight to him. Landing had become something of a gauntlet, as the terrified people were too busy clambering to the front of the queue to clear an adequate landing strip. James was terrified that he was going to hit someone one of these days. Even with the extra planes and pilots Gabriel had provided to make these runs, there was never enough space for everyone. At best they could take a hundred people a day, but thousands were gathered – exhausted, starving, and injured.

James was also well aware that the operation was growing too large to stay secret, and he lived in constant fear of the day that Damon would send his army to slaughter the fleeing shifters. The only silver lining– if it could be called such a thing – was that his forces were so busy trying to manage the havoc they’d wreaked across the land, that there weren’t any soldiers to spare.

So as he helped the most urgently injured shifters and families with the youngest children board the plane, he was so distracted answering the pleas and cries from those who wouldn’t be able to travel this day, that he didn’t notice an extra man sneak onto the plane. He didn’t catch the way the shifty character slunk to the very back and huddled on the ground, wrapped in an emergency blanket. James didn’t see the dangerous glint in his eye as he surveyed the quaking passengers, and when they eventually landed in the hidden territories, he didn’t realize that one of his passengers hadn’t thanked him for his rescue.

The man prowled off into the triage tents, his hungry gaze taking in every detail, listening to every word spoken by his relieved companions. When he reached the intake tables, he gave a false name, accepted his tent assignment, and disappeared into the camp– as silent as a ghost.

____________________

“They’re here.”

Damon – now better known as Emperor Damon (as he insisted everyone call him) or the Usurper (for which he threatened to kill anyone caught calling him) or His Royal Fuckwit (his least favorite name of all) – swore violently, smashing his fist into his desk. “I knew it! That bastard Gabriel must be hiding them.” He complained, speaking so loudly into the phone receiver that the man on the other end of the line flinched. “Have you seen them?”

“No, I’m still in the refugee camp.” His spy replied. “But I have plenty to tell you regardless. This entire place is abuzz with intel, the idealistic fools never saw me coming.”

“Well get on with it then.” Damon ordered gruffly, pacing in his rooms.

“To start, Sinclair is apparently traveling around the Vanaran territories building alliances with the Alphas here, and the rest of his delegation stayed behind. Word is that the old man and Sinclair’s Luna visit the camp most days, and the King and that traitor Roger are busy trying to find local families to host the refugees.” The spy reported, derision heavy on his tongue.

“What else?” Damon growled, becoming more and more furious with every moment that passed. “Do you know if the alliances are successful? Are they building an army?”

“I don’t know, but there’s going to be a huge political summit next week. Every Alpha on the continent is going to gather in the Capital to either pledge or deny their support.” He answered. “They’ve made it into quite a lavish affair, with excursions, opportunities to hear from the survivors of the conflict, feasts and even a grand ball.”

“Trust Sinclair to wine and dine grown men like one of his fucking girlfriends. Does he understand nothing about war?” Even as he said it, Damon was grinding his teeth with barely contained worry. If Sinclair succeeded in his efforts, there was no telling the damage he and the Vanarans could inflict. With their next-generation technologies, they could probably wipe out his armies in a single stroke. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. I thought they’d just gone to ground. I should have remembered how far back he and Gabriel go!”

“Well the Vanarans aren’t your only problem.” His spy remarked reluctantly. “They might not even be your biggest.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Damon hissed.

“By far the biggest rumor swirling around this place is that they’ve figured out his Luna is the long lost daughter of King Xavier.” The spy shared, trying to hide the excitement in his own voice.

“That’s nonsense, Xavier and Reina never had children. Everyone knows that.” Damon argued, though he rubbed his neck, trying to remember if there had ever been a failed pregnancy or still-birth. “There is no way they could have had a pup without anyone knowing, let alone that the bitch would have ended up in a human orphanage.”

“Apparently it was by the Goddess’s own orders that she be hidden.” The spy explained, relating the events of the hypnosis session, which were now all over the city.

“What absolute nonsense.” Damon dismissed the tale before the last words were even out of the man’s mouth. “That sounds like the sort of fairy tale a child makes up to comfort themselves. People can’t possibly believe that shit.”

“But how could a tiny human child know about wolves? How could she know about a King and Queen when she didn’t even know monarchies still existed? That anything existed outside of the human world?” The spy questioned.

“I don’t know, kids are creative.” Damon scoffed, “Last week my son was talking to an imaginary cowboy all day long, the little idiot.”

“They’re calling her a demi-goddess.” The man revealed, “they believe she was sent to save them. She’s even more popular than Sinclair.”

“Then get rid of her.” Damon commanded sharply. “If they lose their hope, they lose their will to fight. Put an end to the bitch before it’s too late.”

“Do we even know if she can be killed?” The spy asked uncertainly, “if she’s truly the go–”

“Everyone and everything can be killed, one way or another.” Damon snapped. “Sinclair isn’t there to protect her and from the sounds of it, she’s running around the refugee camp without a care in the

world, so just get it done.”

“I didn’t sign up to assassinate anyone.” The man countered. “This was just supposed to be information gathering.”

“Oh like you haven’t killed for me before.” Damon reminded him. “Don’t tell me you’re balking because she’s breeding.”

“No… but I’m not eager to kill the child of the Goddess.” He corrected.

“You can’t honestly believe that nonsense.” Damon exploded.”She’s not a fucking unicorn, she’s a regular she-wolf with a grandiose personality disorder.”

“I won’t do it.” The spy protested, gritting his teeth. “Even if I wanted to, she’s constantly surrounded by people. I might be able to get to her but it would be the end of me. Can you imagine what they would do to the man who murdered their savior.”

“Fine, if you’re too much of a coward to do what’s necessary, then at least kill Sinclair while he’s away from his reinforcements.” Damon suggested. “If he’s traveling then he’s vulnerable – meeting countless shifters he doesn’t know, moving through unsecured areas with minimum security. There are advanced technologies in Vanara, weapons and tools we don’t have. It could be as simple as planting an explosive on the road to intercept his car.”

“That’s assuming I can get my hands on their weapons and track him down in time, to predict his movements well enough to ensure he fell for the trap.” The spy explained.

“Is that a no?” Damon snarled.

“No,” the spy clarified. “It’s a question of how much you’re willing to pay. If you want me to kill an Alpha, my price just went up.”

 

Chapter 205

“Where are you now?” Ella asks, her beautiful face looking up at me from my phone screen.

“We’re headed to the Storm Forest pack, but we’ve got quite a few hours on the road before we get there.” I sigh, wishing we hadn’t needed Gabriel’s planes for the refugees, so that we might have flown these long distances.

“Storm Forest.” Ella murmurs, her eyes lighting up, “Does that mean you’re going to get to see some trees at last?”

Chuckling, I turn my phone towards the window, so she can see the rolling salt flats flying by in the distance. “No, unfortunately they chose their name to honor the ancestral lands they left before coming to the hidden territories. I’m afraid that the only trees here are the ones planted in Gabriel’s gardens.”

Ella’s face falls, and her lips form an adorable pout, just begging to be kissed. “I don’t know how they can stand it.”

“My poor little forest wolf.” I purr in sympathy, “our dream forest isn’t enough, is it?”

She shakes her head. “It’s not the same, just like being with you there isn’t the same as being with you in reality.”

“I know, baby.” I share honestly, “I feel it too.” I don’t add that it drives me crazy; that getting to hold her and love her in that secret place only our wolves can find, is nothing compared to actually having her with me. Every morning I wake up aching for her – in more ways than one.

“How many days?” Ella asks, giving me a sultry look that tells me she knows exactly how badly I’m longing for her. How I wish I wasn’t in the back of a car surrounded by my men, and that she wasn’t currently cuddled up with the pups in the nursery.

We could pull over. My wolf suggests slyly. Sneak off into the distance and have her do the same.

No. I respond, not liking it any more than he does. We need to keep moving, and she needs her rest. “Five.” I eventually answer, resisting the urge to adjust my trousers. “Five more days and we’ll be together again.”

Ella pouts again, and my wolf rumbles in my head, Naughty mate, tempting me this way. Doesn’t she know how delectable she looks? It should be illegal to have such full, luscious lips.

She visibly shivers, and I realize I’ve growled aloud. Unintentional or not, I don’t regret it – I love seeing my sweet mate squirm with anticipation and desire. She drops her gaze in submission, and my growl turns to a pleased purr. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too.” She confirms, flushing. “Though, there is something I need to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” I ask, not liking the sudden somber note in her silken voice. “What’s that, gorgeous?”

“Well, I was talking to Henry, and he offered to help track down my mother.” She confesses, sounding nervous now.

My heart softens, “Of course, we’ll all help you sweetheart. As soon as Damon is dealt with, we’ll find her.”

“No Dominic, that’s the problem.” Ella admits with a grimace. “I don’t think it should wait. I think I need to find her as soon as possible.”

I try to keep my face blank as I absorb this information. She hasn’t said it, but I understand she’s talking about another separation. There’s no way I can go searching with her, which means she wants to do it alone. My wolf positively rails against this idea, and I’m not any happier about it. Still, I don’t want to shut her down without consideration for her feelings. “Ella, are you sure that this is what we need, and not simply what you want?” I ask. “I understand that you feel compelled to find her, but I have to tell you that I don’t like the idea of rushing it this way.”

“You mean you don’t want to let me run off on my own, even though you just did the same thing in the name of duty.” Ella assesses, her golden eyes narrowed.

“I mean you’re entering the final stage of your pregnancy and we’re at war. If you want me to even consider letting you out of my sight, you need to give me a damned good reason.” I reply sternly.

Ella huffs and rolls her eyes, and my responding growl sends shudders through the other men in the car, but not my defiant mate. She simply glowers at me, “Based on my memory, my mother met the Goddess – she spoke with her and was convinced to give me up. I think there’s a chance she has information – answers about all this, things that might not exist in my past.”

“I’m hearing a lot of maybes and mights, little one.” I reply gently, trying to keep in mind that she’s been waiting to have a mother for more than thirty years. I hate the idea of keeping Ella from anything she wants, especially this, but I can’t abide the thought of her taking even more risks than she already is.

“But maybes and mights that could turn the tide in this war.” Ella argues. “Isn’t that worth finding out, Dominic?”

“And if she’s somewhere you cannot follow? Somewhere so far away that it will take months to find her?” I ask sharply. “How far are you willing to go for answers? Is finding her important enough to risk our pup? To miss the war you were born to fight?”

“That isn’t fair.” Ella answers, her hurt plain in her voice. “I didn’t ask to be born to fight this war. I didn’t ask for any of this – the only thing I did ask for was our baby, I wouldn’t ever do anything to risk him.”

“I know,” I exhale, regretting my words. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have suggested that.” I’m desperate to put a smile back on her face – to ease the pain I can see in her eyes, but which our distance keeps me from feeling through the bond. “You didn’t ask for me either.” I remind her with a smirk. “And look how well we’ve turned out.”

Ella scoffs, but there’s clear mischief in her expression. “Ha – as if I enjoy having a giant, grumpy wolf bossing me around every second of every day.”

I chuckle, “Deny it all you want, trouble, but remember I can hear the way your heart races every time I take you in hand.”

“Ogre.” She accuses, sticking her little pink tongue out at me.

My wolf groans in my head, “That’s a dangerous thing to do sweet mate, you’re lucky we’re not together or I’d teach that precious tongue a lesson.” Hugo clears his throat and shoots me an exasperated look, an important reminder that I’m not alone. Ella hears it too, and my temporary distraction comes to an end. Though she giggles and flushes, she also glances at the pups snuggled around her to make sure they’re still sleeping, and turns the conversation back to tamer territory.

“I wasn’t saying any of this just because I want to meet my mother, Dominic.” She pauses, averting her gaze. “I mean I want to… of course I do… but I can be patient. I’ve waited this long and I can wait longer… but every time I go into a session with Leon I learn something new and overwhelming… I just thought that if there’s someone out there who has all these answers then maybe I wouldn’t have to keep doing this – learning bits and pieces every few days in the most agonizing ways…” Ella peeks back up at me with wide eyes. “Maybe that makes me a coward – wanting the answers without doing the work.”

“You are the farthest thing from a coward I have ever seen.” I inform her seriously. “And I’m not just saying that because I love you or want you to feel better. It’s natural to want to avoid unnecessary pain, and I don’t blame you for feeling this way one bit.”

“But you don’t want me to go.” She assesses, slightly mollified.

“I don’t want any of this.” I confess, hoping she realizes just how deeply I understand and share her own frustration. “If I had my way, you and I would have a little cottage in the mountains where we could raise our children and run in the forest, and never have to think about politics or prophecies.”

“But that will never be our life.” Ella laments huskily, her eyes shining.

“Maybe one day, when this is over and our pups are grown. When Rafe takes the throne and I retire, we can go and find that place. We’ll get old and grey and fat, and all of this will seem like a bad dream.” I suggest.

“Not all bad.” Ella protests, and I can see her arm moving, caressing her belly. “There’s been a lot of good too. It’s just hard to appreciate sometimes when everything else is so terrible. If feels wrong to enjoy what we have when so many other people are losing everything they hold dear.”

“I know.” I agree, “but it’s also why we have to cherish what we have and not take it for granted. This war is a horrible reminder of how quickly it can all end.”

“I won’t ever take you for granted.” Ella promises with a smile, “no matter how bossy you get. You’re my everything, Dominic – I never felt alive until I met you.”

“I won’t take you for granted either.” I vow, and these promises remind me of the mating ceremony we never had. We told the pack we were waiting until after Rafe was born, and by the time we finally confessed the truth and might have considered having one sooner, all hell broke loose. A new idea

occurs to me and as soon as I think it, I know it’s right. We should have our mating ceremony before I go into battle, before we can be separated again. “Ella –”

Before I can make my proposal, a deafening explosion detonates all around us, and the world goes black.

 

Chapter 206

I stare at the black phone screen in shock and confusion, trying not to jump to the wrong conclusion. One moment Sinclair was there, talking to me as if everything was normal, and the next I heard a terrible boom and saw a blinding light. Then the line disconnected. It didn’t look or sound like a car crash… it seemed… it seemed like some sort of explosion.

Maybe it was just the call getting interrupted, some sort of weird static… or a sound on the radio. My wolf suggests, even as I frantically attempt to call him back. The line doesn’t even ring, I simply hear an error tone and a voice telling me the call can’t be completed.

I untangle myself from the sleeping pups, waking a few of them but too alarmed to pause and apologize. My heart stops beating, and my lungs stop pumping. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. It’s just a problem with the phone. I think desperately, stumbling out of the blanket fort, gasping for air. Isabel looks over when she hears one of the rudely awoken pups emit a cranky cry, her attention quickly zeroing in on me.

“Ella, what is it?” She asks, looking between me and the pups. “Is it the baby? Are you sick?”

“I ca… I can’t breathe.” I wheeze, pressing my hands to my breast in a feeble attempt to make my body start working again.

Isabel tries to guide me to a chair but I push her off, gasping. “Get the King.” I beg, “Henry… get everyone.” The room is spinning before my eyes, and I reach out to the she-wolf to steady myself, certain I’ll topple over at any moment. Isabel shouts an order to one of the guards and he takes off at a run.

“You’ve got to calm down, Ella.” Isabel says sternly, pushing me into a chair and forcing my head between my knees. “You’re alright, you’re just having a panic attack.” Though her voice is cold, warm hands rub my back.

I shake my head violently. “No… you don’t understand.” I hiss, between gulps of air. “It’s Dominic… I think… I think something happened.”

She goes very still, “what do you feel?”

“Nothing,” I reply hurriedly, trying to feel him through our bond even though I know he’s too far away to sense. “I mean, not… not different.” Tears are spilling from my eyes, and my voice is shaking over every syllable. “We were on the phone and then there was this huge boom and a flash of light… like an explosion and the call dropped, I can’t get him back. It says the line is dead.”

Isabel exhales a breath I hadn’t realized she was holding. “That could be nothing. And when my mate died, I felt like my soul had been ripped out of my body and torn to pieces.”

“Were you together, when it happened?” I ask urgently, “were you chosen or fated?”

“We were together.” Isabel admits reluctantly, as if I’m forcing her to remember things she’d rather not. “I saw it happen, and yes, we were fated.”

“I’m sorry.” I hiccup, “I didn’t mean… I’m just trying to figure this out.”

“It’s okay.” Isabel answers, though her shoulders are rigid. “I understand.”

A few minutes later Gabriel comes rushing into the nursery, followed closely by Roger. “Ella what’s wrong?”

I’m still heaving and gasping, worse now that my tears have taken hold, so Isabel explains for me. Both men immediately tense, their faces growing grave and serious. “I’ll call the doctor for something to calm

you down.” Gabriel says to me, “And I’ll deploy a drone to fly over the road they were traveling, reach out to the Storm Forest Alpha to see if there have been reports of crashes or explosions.”

“I don’t want the doctor.” I argue, rising to my feet and wrapping my arms around my middle. “I’m not taking or doing anything until I know whether or not Dominic is alright.” The baby flutters and kicks inside me, and I feel a rush of sadness and confusion through our bond. I hate knowing that my emotions are causing him distress, but I also don’t know how to help it. I try to send waves of calm back to him, letting him feel my love and commitment to protect him, but it doesn’t help much.

In the end I take a step I never have before, and cut him off from my feelings completely. This was never possible when I was in the depths of hypnosis because I wasn’t even present myself, and the other times I’ve shielded him from things, I’ve had the presence of mind to allow the good things through our bond. But now I’m too out of control to regulate anything, so it will have to be all or nothing.

I regret this as soon as I do it, because the moment Rafe stops sensing me, he panics. Stress and fear unlike anything I’ve ever felt from him pummels my heart, and I immediately drop the shield I put up. “It’s okay,” I say aloud, running my hands over my belly – it must have felt like I disappeared completely, and with Sinclair so far away too, he must have thought he was all alone. “I’m here. I’m here, angel. I’m sorry.”

The baby calms at once, and I feel the first pulse of anger he’s ever directed at me, as if his tiny mind is demanding where I went – how I could leave him like that. “I’m sorry, I love you so much. I’m here” I repeat over and over.

The sensations make the loss of my own parents loom larger in my heart, but when it happened to me I was too young to remember. Still, I must have felt this way… only instead of a terrified flash it was permanent. I’m all too aware that I’m still in the nursery, surrounded by a number of children who were old enough to remember the pain and fear of being suddenly, viciously alone – their souls cut off from the only bonds they’d ever forged. The thought makes my knees go weak.

Gabriel and Roger are still looking at me with obvious concern, and Isabel is wearing an expression that makes me think she understands exactly what just happened. She nods bleakly, and slides a steadying arm around my waist, looking at the men, “If you don’t let her come with you, she’s only going to be worse.”

I could hug her… assuming she would let me, but Gabriel and Roger exchange a wary glance before agreeing. “Fine, but I’m putting the doctor on call, just in case.”

“I’ll go get Dad.” Roger announces, taking off towards the palace entrance.

An hour later I’m doing breathing exercises while we watch one of Gabriel’s aerial drones zoom across the foreign landscape. Any other time I would be fascinated to discover the secrets of the hidden territories, but now I can only wring my hands and pray. The search seems to go on forever, and my nerves are fraying more and more with every moment that passes. Finally a few specks appear in the distance, and I recognize the salt flats Sinclair had shown me out the window on his drive. The specks grow larger and larger as the drone flies… and then we see the flames.

The room is deathly silent as the cars come into view… what’s left of them at least. Where there were once shiny SUVs, there are now only mangled and charred husks of metal, centered in the middle of a blasted crater of earth. “No.” I gasp, counting them, trying to figure out if there was any way the men might have escaped. The drone flies lower, and when I see the burnt outline of an arm hanging out of one of the shattered windows, I clench my eyes shut. I’m rocking back and forth on the sofa, refusing to look at the screen, to witness the horror tearing through the room.

Pounding footsteps charge for the door, and when Roger’s scent fades I understand he must have stormed out. I peek at Henry, hoping he’ll tell me this isn’t real. But when I look… I barely recognize him. His face is grey and pallid, and all the strong steadiness I’ve come to expect from him is gone. He’s sunk in on himself, his expression one of a man whose just had his whole world shattered. I swing

my gaze to Gabriel for help, but the King stands in front of the screen with his hands in tight fists and tears in his eyes. They all believe it. They all think he’s gone.

“No.” I insist, refusing to accept this. “No, he might have escaped somehow. He’s not…” I can’t bring myself to say the word. It’s too terrible to contemplate.

“I’m so sorry, Ella.” Gabriel says, in a voice like gravel. “I don’t want to believe it either, but I’m afraid he’s gone.”

“No!” I cry, shaking my head. “Why are you saying that! He can’t be gone! Do you have any idea what he’s survived? What he’s overcome? He’s not dead!” I explode, spinning in place, searching for anyone who will agree with me. When I find none, I stop and dig my heels into the ground. “I won’t lose him, I can’t!”

Before I can say another word, pain rips through my belly, clenching and white hot. My lips part on a silent cry as I double over, clutching my stomach. Black spots take over my vision, and the carpet zooms up to meet my face. Then all is quiet.

Chapter 207

When I wake I’m in my nest, hooked up to about a dozen machines and wracking my brains for some explanation of how I got here. Of course… the moment my memory kicks in, I wish it hadn’t. My wolf howls in my head, but I shut out the tumultuous emotions threatening to consume me. It might not be healthy, but if there’s one thing I’m good at – it’s repressing feelings.

I clench my eyes shut. “It’s not real, it’s not real.” I insist to the empty room, reflexively tracing the outline of my womb. “Are you alright, little one?” I squeak, wondering if my pain is about to multiply by a million.

The baby flutters and sends feelings of sleepy confusion through our bond, and the tightness in my heart eases a bit. He’s okay. I tell my whining wolf, but we both know she’s not just worried for the baby’s sake.

They’re both okay. My wolf assures me, sounding surprisingly confident for all her nervous whimpering. I don’t care what anyone says. We would feel it if he was gone. I would feel it.

But what if he’s too far away? I ask, hating myself for the kernel of doubt currently sitting in my stomach like a boulder.

I would still know. She insists. Trust me, no amount of distance could fool me. Our bond is in tact, just out of reach.

Then why are you so worried, I can feel how feral you are. I remind her, praying she’s right and that this isn’t simply bravado.

Because he’s out there alone somewhere and someone just tried to kill him… they succeeded in killing all his men. She answers, and I can feel the truth in her words.

As if we don’t know who’s responsible. I growl fiercely. This is Damon’s doing. I don’t know how he managed it, but I will not rest until that bastard is six feet in the ground. Too late I realized I growled out loud, and a man’s voice breaks through our private conversation.

“Oh good, you’re up.” The palace doctor is standing in the doorway, looking at me with the pitying expression of someone who wants to be sensitive but doesn’t know how. “You gave us quite the scare, Ella.”

Well at least he didn’t call us Your Highness. My wolf remarks dryly, noting the trend that far too many of the Vanarans and refugees have recently adopted.

“What happened?” I ask, my hands still resting on my belly. “Is my pup alright?”

“You had what is called a hypertensive crisis.” He answers evenly. “At times of extreme stress, your blood pressure can skyrocket to very dangerous levels. In your case it triggered false labor and a dizzy spell which thankfully caused you to pass out before your heart or child could be harmed.” He explains. “We’ve got you hooked up to an IV to get some fluids into your system, and it also allows us to administer anxiety medications and sedatives as efficiently as possible.”

“Do I have to go back onto bed rest?” I question worriedly.

“For the time being.” He confirms. “I’m very worried about you, Ella. High blood pressure is very dangerous during pregnancy and you’re under far too much stress. I know the doctors in Moon Valley diagnosed you with preeclampsia, and when you arrived here we thought that the condition had been mitigated by your wolf waking. But based on the numbers I’m seeing, you’re at risk of the condition returning. We need to get your stress levels under control.”

“That’s easier said than done.” I answer sullenly. “We’re at war… and my mate…” I know if I tell him that Sinclair isn’t dead he’ll just think I’m in denial, but I can’t bring myself to lie either.

“I was very sorry to hear about Alpha Dominic.” The doctor tells me sympathetically. “I know it’s hardly a comfort, but his death is a huge loss for all shifter kind.”

I can’t bring myself to thank him, even though I know he’s trying to be nice. I simply nod and glance at the IV. “Do I have a choice about the sedatives?”

He sighs. “You need to rest, Ella. I can’t force you to take anything, but I must encourage you to follow my treatment plan for the sake of your child’s life and your own. Eclampsia kills mothers and babies… even these days with all the technology we possess. It’s not something to mess around with.”

“I understand.” I murmur, feeling fresh tears well.

“Would you like to tell me what worries you about the sedatives?” He inquires.

“No.” I answer stiffly, because telling him would mean admitting that I believe my mate is alive… and how terrified I am that he isn’t. The truth is that I’m afraid to go to sleep, because no amount of distance can keep us apart in dreams. My mate can even follow me into my deepest, darkest nightmares… so if I sleep and he isn’t there… it will mean he’s really gone. That possibility is just too horrible to contemplate.

“Then I’ll leave you to rest.” The doctor answers, thankfully not seeming offended by my response. “But I hope you’ll reach out to me if you have any questions or concerns.”

I nod and he leaves. I’d just started to burrow deeper into my nest, seeking the lingering scent of my mate from the last time we lay here together, when Henry and Cora enter the room. They both have tears in their eyes, and Cora immediately comes forward and climbs into bed with me. “You scared me.” She murmurs, cuddling up to my side.

“I’m sorry.” I profess, kissing her hair. “I’m okay.”

Though I’m speaking to my sister, my eyes are locked on Henry. I swear to the Goddess, he’s aged ten years in a single afternoon. My heart breaks seeing the pain in his warm eyes, and I reach out to him. “He’s not gone, Henry.” I whisper, unable to help myself. “I would know if he was.”

Henry’s eyes fall shut as his handsome features twist into a grimace. “My darling, I don’t want to believe it any more than you do, but we can’t pretend this isn’t real.”

“You weren’t with your mate when she died, right?” I ask determinedly. “You were away from her, so could you feel it when she passed, even though she was out of reach of your bond?”

Henry sighs, looking as though he doesn’t want to answer. “Yes, but that’s different… we were fated.”

“My bond with Dominic is no weaker just because we chose each other.” I argue. “He’s told me that it’s stronger even than what he shared with Linda.”

“That may be so, but it’s still different.” Henry cautions me. Cora stays silent, snuggling beside me and watching our debate unfold with wide eyes.

“And what of your bond with him?” I demand. “Shifter parents have bonds with their pups from just days after they’re conceived. Surely you would feel it if your bond with Dominic was broken? Surely it would hurt every bit as much, if not more than losing your mate?”

As soon as I ask the question, a new fear assaults me… maybe Henry did feel it, and I didn’t. I brace myself for a terrible blow, but Henry says. “I saw that wreckage just like you did. We saw the bodies. Whether we can feel it or not, no one could survive that… not even Dominic. I’m afraid he was simply too far away, even the strongest bonds have their limits.”

“What are you saying?” I cry. “Why is everyone so ready to believe this! How can you be willing to believe it if there’s even the slightest hope?”

“I’m not!” For the first time since I’ve met him, Henry raises his voice at me, and I flinch in shock and alarm. “That’s the last thing I want, Ella! No parent is ever ready to believe their child is gone!” He wheels away from the bed, then back, his face livid with color. “But I can’t help Dominic by living in denial – I can’t help you or our people by refusing to believe the evidence in front of my face! If he’s out there then why haven’t we heard from him? You were on the phone with him, he’ll know we must all think he’s dead, so why hasn’t he been in contact, why hasn’t the storm forest alpha found him!”

Neither Cora or I make a sound. Our upbringing taught us to freeze and make ourselves as small as possible in the face of this kind of anger. I reflexively try to shield Cora and my belly from Henry, and when he sees the protective movement, he breaks. “I’m sorry,” He utters hoarsely, full of remorse. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice. But you have to know that this is a tragedy for all of us. For our family more than anyone else, but a tragedy for the entire continent. No one wants to believe it’s real Ella. You’re not alone in that, and when you come to accept what’s happened, you won’t be alone in your grief either… but you need to accept it. Dominic is gone.” His voice breaks, tears streaming down his cheeks. “And he’s not coming back.”

 

Chapter 208

Four days. Four days since Sinclair’s car was bombed in West Vanara, and four days since I last heard his voice.

I refuse to believe he’s gone. I know the others have given up hope, but they don’t know my mate like I do, and they don’t have our bond. I don’t know where he is or why we haven’t heard from him, but I know he’s out there somewhere. If the doctor would just let me out of this bed I’d go find him myself.

Unfortunately he’s keeping me under lock and key, and a roster of babysitters have been assigned to watch me. Honestly it’s insulting, but I suppose my first few escape attempts might have given him cause to worry. The first time I slipped out past my guards I made it all the way down to the second floor before Philippe caught up with me and hauled me back. The second time, I only made it down the hall, and the third was dead in the water before I could even finish making a rope out of my bed sheets. That was about the time the bossy wolves who seem to think they can tell me what to do now that Sinclair is… out of reach… decided I needed constant supervision.

I know everyone is trying to be patient with me, novelebook.com but they’re dealing with their own grief too, and the doctor frightened them about my condition. If they would just listen, I would tell them that the best possible solution for my stress would be to find Sinclair and bring him home. Nothing will help more than having him with me… but they won’t listen, so I’m stuck here – lying around in my nest and banned from working.

“This is stupid.” I complain, glaring at Isabel. “Shouldn’t you be in the nursery?”

‘The King thought my experience dealing with whiny babies made me ideally suited to look after you.” Isabel responds coolly. “And James is with the pups.”

I glance at her curiously. “How’s that going? You and James?”

Isabel shoots me a withering look. “Why don’t you worry about yourself, Princess.” Though many people now address me seriously with this title, from Isabel it’s pure derision. “You haven’t slept, you haven’t eaten or washed your filthy hair. If you truly believe your mate is out there, then you might want to pull yourself together so he doesn’t have to come home to a hot mess.”

She has a point, but only just. I didn’t sleep last night, but I was so rested from my long sedation that staying awake wasn’t even a challenge. And how can a she-wolf have an appetite or think about hygiene when her mate is in mortal danger? novel.ebook.com “You don’t think I’m crazy?” I ask hesitantly.

“Would it matter if I did?” Isabel arches a brow. “You don’t care that the others think you’ve lost your marbles.”

“No…” I confirm, staring at my lap. “But you’ve lost a mate, you know how it feels.”

‘That’s different.” Isabel snaps, “I was there when my mate died. I saw it and I felt it, there was no doubt he was gone and no room for hope.” She glances at me with an unreadable look in her eye. “If I were in your shoes…

I expect I’d do exactly the same as you are.”

“Can I ask…” her face shutters as soon as the words leave my lips, novëebook.com but I’ve already begun. “How did it happen?”

At first I’m sure she won’t answer the question, but Isabel shifts in her seat and purses her lips. “It was more than a year ago, before any of this started.” She explains, surprising me. Still, the emotion in her voice from sharing these basic details makes me regret asking this of her. “Our baby, Sophie, was only a month old, and we were both exhausted and overjoyed. Daniel was absolutely besotted with her, and

in a lot of ways, he was better with her than I was. I had a really difficult birth and my body was wrecked. Nothing seemed to go right, not breastfeeding or my recovery – it was overwhelming and I was so worried about doing everything right that I forgot to enjoy it. I was in love with her too… I just didn’t cope as well.”

‘Then one day we were out at the park, just having a family picnic. We heard someone scream, and then we saw rogues racing towards us. Daniel pushed the baby into my arms and told me to run… I didn’t realize in the moment that he meant to stay and fight, to hold them off so we could get away. I thought he was going to be right behind us, but all my instincts were to protect Sophie, so I ran. Then I felt it. I felt our bond shatter and fall away, as if my own soul was slipping from my body.” Isabel shares, tears streaming down her cheeks. “And when I turned back… I saw him lying on the ground with his throat ripped out, a rogue still standing above him, nvëlx.o goring him with his claws.”

I’m reaching for her, and to my surprise, she comes into my arms. “At first, I didn’t want to live without him. I fell into a terrible depression, and nothing anyone tried could bring me out of it. It wasn’t until a couple of months later, when Sophie woke me up in the middle of the night.” Isabel sighs, “I hadn’t been… I’d wanted her so badly before she arrived, and then with all the difficulties and losing Daniel – I wasn’t the mother I should have been, let’s just say that. But that night I went to feed her, and her eyes had changed color. They were blue when she was born, but there she was looking up at me, with Daniel’s amber eyes.”

Isabel sniffs. “It was a wakeup call. A realization that I would always have a piece of Daniel as long as I had Sophie. And Goddess how I hated myself for neglecting her, for letting my grief make me forget what a miracle she was. Everything turned around that night. I finally became the mother I was meant to be, the one who would have made Daniel proud – the one Sophie deserved.” She swipes at a tear. “She was my entire world… and then Damon took over, and we were forced to run.”

I wait for her to continue, but I fear this loss was too recent. I already know what happened anyway… Isabel made it, and her daughter did not. “I’m so sorry, Isabel.” I profess, cuddling her close, tears in my

own eyes. “No one should have to go through what you have. I wish there was some way I could make it right.”

“You’ve done plenty.” Isabel hiccups. “You gave me the nursery. You brought all of us here.”

For a long moment we just lie there in each others arms, and then the baby kicks in my womb, thumping his foot against Isabel’s side. To my surprise Isabel smiles and reaches out to rest her hand on my navel. “Hello munchkin.”

“Can I ask you something?” I inquired uncertainly.

She nods, and I confess, ‘The other day, after the phone call with Dominic, I was worried about upsetting the baby. So I tried to cut myself off from him.”

“We’ve all made that mistake.” Isabel replies knowingly. “It’s a lesson every parent has to learn: that having you is better for them, even if you’re upset.” She grimaces, “and it tells you just how traumatizing losing a parent truly is for a pup… How much they need you, rely on you to guide and shelter them.”

“Is it possible to bond with an adopted child that way?” I ask, thinking of all the children in the nursery.

“Of course, just like chosen mates bond.” Isabel confirms. “You fall in love, and you claim them. It’s a different kind of mark, but it’s every bit as powerful.”

“Will you claim Sadie?” I inquire, my heart aching to think the infant has been feeling the way my own babe did the other day.

“When I’m ready.” Isabel reveals, looking torn. “I know it would be better for her to have it sooner, I just can’t help feeling that it’s a betrayal of Sophie.” ‘That’s nonsense.” I tell her, knowing James already

shared this sentiment with her. “You know as well as I do that loving one child doesn’t mean you love another any less, or that you forget them.”

“It’s not just that… it’s that I think if the tables were turned and Sophie had lived instead of me… I would have felt jealous if she bonded to a new mother so quickly. I was her mother – me, not some random she-wolf who accidentally stumbled upon her.” Isabel relates guiltily.

“Isabel.” I murmur seriously. ‘Think about how it felt when you tried to cut yourself off from her, how afraid and unmoored she was. Would you really rather she be in that pain, than connect with someone who will love her like only you could?”

She clamps her eyes shut, choking on her tears. “No.” She cries, gasping. ” No, I would be sad if she forgot me, but I’d much rather she always feel safe and happy.”

“Exactly.” I say, “Don’t make Sadie wait. You already love her and there’s no use denying it.”

Before Isabel can respond, I feel a tug deep in my chest, a pang of intense love that feels very far away. I jerk upright in my nest. I know that feeling!

A moment after I’ve thought it, I hear a familiar, beloved voice in my mind. Ella?!

I’m out of bed in an instant, dislodging a suddenly disgruntled Isabel. “It’s Dominic!”

 

Chapter 209

Isabel stares after me with her mouth gaping open in shock, not moving from the bed. I don’t pause to put on appropriate clothing or even don shoes, instead sprinting to my door and pressing my ear to the wood. After a moment Isabel recovers and comes to stand beside me. “What are you doing?” She whispers, her pretty eyes wide.

I lead her back from the doorway, pressing my finger to my lips. The feeling of my mate is growing stronger by the second, and his voice calls out again. Ella!

I hear you! I send back through our bond, praying he can hear me. I’m coming, Dominic. The baby is fluttering excitedly in my belly, and I have a feeling that when Sinclair isn’t calling to me, he’s calling to Rafe. Still, when his voice sounds again he says only my name, Ella! Through the distance I can sense his exhaustion and worry, the nearly unhinged determination of his wolf. There’s pain there too, and I know he must be injured. He’s trying to get back to us, but he’s too worn down and depleted to communicate beyond these simple calls.

“I have to get out of here.” I tell Isabel, speaking as quietly as I can.” Dominic is… I can feel him, he’s calling me. But he’s hurt, I have to reach him.”

Isabel blinks, “Are you sure?”

I cut my eyes to her, “Of course I’m sure, I know my mate better than I know myself.”

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Isabel replies, “I was just surprised. What can I do?”

“Can you distract my guards?” I request, wondering if she’ll actually agree. This feels like the first true test of our friendship, but Isabel only sets her jaw and nods.

“I’ll go out this way,” She tells me, pointing to the bedroom door. “You exit through the sitting room. I’ll keep them occupied as long as I can.”

I nod eagerly and dash to the far door, watching as Isabel slips outside. Her voice echoes down the hallway, “Excuse me, can you all help me? The Princess requires some items from the kitchen but our phone doesn’t seem to be working. Would you mind terribly going down to fetch a few things for us?”

I roll my eyes at her use of my surreal title, but I open the door as quietly as I can, peeking my head out even as the guards gathered around Isabel exchange uncertain glances. “We can’t leave our post, Miss. Philippe’s orders.”

“Well I promised the King I wouldn’t leave her side.” Isabel frets, wringing her hands like the perfect damsel in distress. “Maybe just one of you could go? I’m sure you’re all more than strong enough to carry even the heaviest tray.”

I slink away on tiptoes while the guards puff up their chests and debate which one of them should get to be her knight in shining armor, and I have to bite back a laugh when I catch Isabel batting her eyelashes at the guards. I disappear around the corner, trying to remember which of the secret passages Gabriel described to me is closest. I know there’s one on the floor below, but I’m worried someone might see me before I get there.

Ella, Ella Ella. Sinclair chants through our bond, filling me with all the courage I need to take this risk.

I’m coming, my love. I send back, moving as swiftly as I can. Suddenly I’m regretting my urgency to get out of the room without pause. I call attention on the best of days, and scampering through the daylit palace in my current state is not exactly discreet. I can only imagine how I must look: barefoot, wearing only a long silk nightdress, novelebook.com hair unwashed and disheveled.

Thankfully I make it to the passage entrance without difficulty, though I do have to hide behind a large statue until a pair of servants rolling a laundry cart pass by. For a split second I consider asking them to

help me, but I don’t want them to risk their jobs by defying Gabriel’s edict to keep me in the palace. I know the King is worried about my wellbeing, not to mention outside threats like the bomb that intercepted Sinclair’s delegation. Still, I don’t appreciate his high-handed orders. So I move through the passages on my own, following the fresh scent of the outdoors to guide me around corners and through intersections.

By the time I make it outside, Sinclair feels as though he might be right around the next corner. His calls have grown loud and constant, but no matter where I look, I cannot see him. Ella, Ella, Ella. I open my heart to him and follow the path our bond illuminates, throwing caution to the wind as I reach the palace gates. The guards’ backs are facing me as they search for outside threats, completely occupied with keeping unwanted guests out, not holding anyone inside.

I dart out past them, ignoring their cries of surprise, and take off into the city. Within moments I hear footsteps pounding the pavement behind me, and I smell Philippe’s familiar aroma at my back. I curse in my head, there’s no way I can outrun the guards – I can barely manage a jog, cradling my belly and wincing as my swollen breasts bounce uninhibited. People stop and stare as I pass by, but I don’t give them a moment’s notice.

I know I’m caught a second before it happens, novelebook.com when Philippe’s voice is growling in my ear and his footsteps sound as though they’re right on top of me. He practically tackles me, racing up behind me and gripping me as gently as he can, infinitely conscious of my delicate condition. His arms come underneath my own as he pulls me to an abrupt stop, and I go limp in his grip, hoping my weight will drag him down.

It doesn’t. He supports my body easily, then scoops me up into his arms.

A crowd has formed around us, but the other guards keep them at bay, holding their arms outstretched and backing them out of the square. I’m not sure if it’s for my safety or to keep them from witnessing

the ensuing scene, but I don’t care. novel.ebook.com They can all watch, as long as I get to Sinclair, they can do whatever they like.

“Let me go, Philippe!” I command, raising my voice and kicking my legs as he hitches me closer. I thrash and fight as he tries to drag me back to the palace, wrenching his arm close enough to sink my fangs into his wrist. He hisses and reels back, but he doesn’t release me.

Philippe snarls impatiently. “Damnit Ella, this has to stop!”

“You will never stop me from going after him!” I cry, returning his snarl with one of my own, “I will never give up, as long as he’s out there I will always try to find him.”

“He’s not out there!” Philippe insists, giving me a small shake, “You’ve got to accept it, Ella!”

“You’re wrong!” I combat, thrusting my elbow into his ribs, “You don’t know! None of you can feel him like I can.”

“You think we weren’t bonded with him too?” novel.ebook.com Philippe demands angrily, dragging me up into his arms, no matter how frantically I squirm. “That we didn’t love him?”

“It’s not the same!” I counter furiously, willing my body to shift. My wolf is right at the surface, every bit as desperate and outraged as I am. Still, I’m weak from the lingering sedatives and the lack of food, and I suspect the doctor’s anti-anxiety medicines are keeping her from coming out. “I can hear him! He’s calling me, he needs me!”

“You’re delirious.” Philippe sighs, sounding resigned now. novëebook.com “You’ve got to get some rest or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“I’m not!” I explode, throwing my head back and slamming my skull into Philippe’s chin. I instantly regret it as stars burst in my eyes and pain blooms through my cranium. “Just because you all don’t

have any hope left, doesn’t mean I’ll let you steal mine.” I moan feebly.

‘That’s it!” Philippe grumbles, pain lacing in his voice. “I’ve had enough. You are coming with me now, whether you like it or not!”

“You can’t make me!” I challenge, a rush of adrenaline overwhelming my pain. nvëlx.o I throw myself against the cage of his arms, but I can’t break through. Philippe holds me fast, and then his fingers dig into my neck, triggering a pressure point which I didn’t know existed. My vision starts to black out, but at the very last moment, Philippe pulls back. I don’t understand why at first, not until I realize that the sound of Sinclair’s voice is no longer ringing in my head… but I can smell him, as strong and potent as if he were right next to me. I look around, my heart soaring, but I don’t see him.

Suddenly a deafening growl sounds behind us, and my soaring heart takes flight. ‘Take your hands off my mate.”

 

Chapter 210

It had all happened very slowly.

I heard the deafening noise, felt the excruciating heat of the blast, but when the explosion struck my body was thrown from the car. I remember sailing through the air, feeling as though I was traveling through water as flames and entropy eviscerated the vehicle where I had just been sitting. I hit the ground hard, my head slamming into the earth and stealing my consciousness.

When I woke, I was lying at least ten meters from the blast radius. My head ringing, acid churning in my stomach, I stumbled back towards the burning cars in a daze. I don’t know how much time had passed, but my men were little more than charred husks, and the vehicles nothing more than tangled knots of molten steel.

I vomited onto the ground, emptying my stomach and trying not to let the horror consume me. I’d loved my men like brothers, but if I stopped to process their losses, my own life might be forfeit too. I did not know if the danger still lingered – or even from whence it had come, though I could certainly guess.

I quickly checked myself for injuries, noting the way every breath rattled and tore against my aching ribs, and the blood that seeped through my torn clothes. I shifted, and abandoned all thought of going on to the Storm Forest pack. For all I knew, my would-be assassin was waiting there in case their bomb failed. My phone was lost in the wreckage, and I was in the middle of nowhere, hundreds of miles from any being I knew and trusted. So I took off into the wilderness, letting the sun and moon guide me back towards Gabriel’s city, not allowing myself to stop or rest even once.

I was terrified that this was not an isolated threat, that perhaps similar nightmares had befallen my family… my mate. I needed answers, but I needed to get back to them faster. I thought about seeking

Ella in my dreams, but I was afraid that if I let myself sleep I might not wake for hours, and the people I love would be vulnerable without me for that much longer. So I forced myself to carry on, until at last the crystalline lake and gleaming outline of the capital came into view.

I started calling to Ella then, and though my heart pulsed and skipped gloriously when she responded, by that time I was so diminished that I couldn’t think of any intelligible thoughts other than her name. I tore into the city at top speed, ignoring the gasps and shouts of the shifters I passed. And when I finally saw my beautiful mate, fighting tooth and nail to escape her guards, I shifted back into my human form.

I felt like I was on the verge of collapse, but I unleashed the remaining reserves of power I’d been holding back, and found the strength to stay upright. “Take your hands off of my mate.”

I watch as shock reverberates through Philippe’s body. His grip goes slack, and Ella takes full advantage, scrambling free and running straight into my open arms.

“Dominic!” She cries, squeezing me so tightly that my broken ribs scream in protest. But I don’t make a sound, I swing her legs up into my arms so that I can cradle her against my chest as she buries her face in my neck, breathing in my scent. “I knew you weren’t dead! No one believed me but I knew!” She sobs, pulling back only far enough to look up at me. Concern immediately takes over her lovely features, but before she can say a word I claim her lips with my own.

Mine. My wolf sighs in my head. Mine, mine, all mine.

I don’t have any control left to spare, so all my love and longing from these last few weeks pours forth, along with all my pain, sadness and fear. Ella takes it all with utter generosity and pure passion, letting me drown her in my feelings and yielding her soft mouth for my feral exploration. She makes the sweetest little sounds as I ravish her with my lips, teeth and tongue, giving back as good as she gets and threatening to rouse my cock in the middle of the public square.

Naughty mate. My wolf purrs through our bond, and Ella only shudders and presses closer to me. Reluctantly, I force myself to drag my lips from hers before we get too carried away. “I missed you, trouble.” I purr, wishing I had a free hand to explore her round tummy, and instead sending my love for my son through our bond. Rafe replies with pulses of excitement and affection, though I’m concerned to sense him holding back slightly.

“I missed you more.” Ella insists, stroking my jaw with a mischievous glint in her gold eyes.

“Wanna bet?” I chuckle, kissing her again and never wanting to let her go. The last few days have been too horrible to bear- not knowing what I would be coming home to… if there would be anything left for me to come home to at all.

“Dominic?” My father’s voice breaks my reverie, and for the first time, I remember we aren’t alone. I look up to see Dad wheeling towards us, tears and amazement plain on his face. I set Ella’s feet on the ground so that I can fall into my father’s arms.

“Dad.” I breathe, feeling like a boy again as he kisses my hair and rubs his strong hands over my injured body.

“I thought I’d lost you.” He admits thickly, his face twisted into a grimace as he delves into our own bond. “You’re hurt.”

“I’ll live.” I reply, tears burning in my own eyes as I feel the grief he’d been battling over the past few days, a grief I understand all the better now that I have a son of my own. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to your mate.” Dad replies, relinquishing his hold on me so he can reach for Ella. Her warm little body snuggles in beside us, and my heart swells to bursting.

“It seems we all should have listened to Ella.” A new voice sounds from somewhere above us. “She’s been a bloody terror since it happened … but she was right.” Gabriel informs me, though there is no

bite in his voice. The King is standing above us with a wide smile, and not even the sight of my sweet mate glaring daggers at him can dull his joy.

I leave Ella in Dad’s arms so I can hug Gabriel and Philippe, and then Roger is charging out of the palace gates wearing an expression I’ve never seen before. “You bastard!” My brother is all aggression, and he lashes out as he draws near, pushing me in the chest and forcing me backward. “You scared the hell out of me. Where the devil have you been!”

“Roger-” Dad tries to intervene, but I beat him to the punch. I duck Roger’s next attack, and throw my arms around him, restraining his arms and forcing him to settle as he tries to fight me. He gradually softens, clutching my shoulders and leaning his head against my shoulder.

“Don’t you ever do that again!” He sniffs bitterly.

“I’m sorry.” I profess, “I won’t.”

“I love you, you dummy.” He adds begrudgingly, and I laugh, though the motion sends pain searing through my abdomen. I hiss, trying not to let the agony pull me under.

At once Dad and Ella drag us apart. Ella nudges her way under my arm, as if she thinks she might support me with her weight. She presses her small hand to my chest, ‘Your ribs are broken, you should have said!” Her worry floods through our bond, though I can feel her trying to hold it back.

“I’m alright, sweetheart.” I assure her, though my wince betrays me.

“You’re dead on your feet.” Dad corrects, looking to Gabriel. “We need to get him inside. He needs a doctor.”

Roger and Philippe move forward as if they might displace Ella and cart me inside like some wounded war hero, but I wave them off. “Call the doctor. But I’m walking in on my own two feet, with my mate

beside me.”

‘Your mate isn’t even supposed to be out of bed.” Philippe informs me coolly, sending a scolding glance at Ella.

She sends him a ferocious glare and sticks out her tongue, but for the first time I realize she does look a bit worse for wear. She’s wearing nothing but a nightgown – her feet are bare and she has dark circles beneath her eyes. Ella said she knew I wasn’t dead, but these events have obviously taken their toll on her nonetheless. I feel a stab of guilt for not noticing sooner, as well as an abundance of curiosity for what the clever minx has been doing to put the King and her guard in such a grumpy mood.

I shrug and slide my arm around her back and knees, lifting her off the ground. ‘Then I’ll carry her.”