Ch. 111..115: Forbidden Heat R18 Chapter 111-115

Chapter 111: A Moment Like This

Edward let go of me after a while and I paused to catch my breath. My body slightly trembling from his surprising kiss. He grinned at me a little but didn’t say anything. We looked at our reflection in the mirror. I think we look a little like a couple with our matching outfit. I’m not sure how Edward felt about wearing light pink but I personal think it suits him quite well. If his eyes are the color of the green leaves then the pink of his shirt would be the color of the petals of flowers.

*Knock Knock Knock*

“Master Edward, dinner is ready as you have ordered,” Ralph said from the other side of the door.

“Shall we?” Edward asked with a smile as he took my hand gently in his.

The moment, we stepped out of the dressing room and into the hallway, Edward’s phone rang. Edward frowned a little when he saw who was calling.

“Sorry, Natalia. I have to take this. Can you wait here for a bit? Ralph can keep you company,” Edward said hurriedly before he walked off to take the phone call.

“Sorry that you’re stuck with an old man like me for the time being,” Ralph said kindly as he bowed slightly to me.

“No, not at all. I’m happy that you’re here with me. You and Edward seem close, have you been with him for a long time?” I asked to make small talk with the kind old man.

“Oh yes. I’ve served him since he was a teenage boy, you see. He’s been through a couple of rough patches as I’m sure he’s already told you,” Ralph replied in a respectable tone.

“I see. I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s got you to support him after all,” I said cheerfully trying to cheer the old man up. He must be very kind and professional. I mean, at his age, he’s still working devotedly to his young master. There are a couple of very old butlers like him in the Rosenhall family as far as I was aware.

“Not at all, Miss Natalia. Try as we may, I have never seen Master Edward smile as much and as genuinely as he does when he is with you, My Lady. It may be too presumptuous of me to ask you for this but, please judge a man from his actions. His words may hold true or may be misleading; however, actions are much harder to misinterpret,” Ralph said with a gentle smile as he bowed slightly to excuse his straightforwardness.

I could see where Ralph was coming from but sadly, in Edward’s case, I find both his words and his actions to be very difficult to interpret. Even his actions could easily be misleading.

“I see. Thank you for your kind advice,” I replied honestly.

“I kind of envy my other colleagues. You see, they get to serve Master Edward much more frequently than I do because he rarely visits this place. In fact, you’re the first guest he’s ever brought here. It shouldn’t be very surprising though; this mansion was built here because this place holds many precious memories for the Master,” Ralph said with a sadness in his voice.

“What memories?” I asked intriguingly.

“Oh, if the Master has not told you about it then it is not my place to do so. However, this place holds many miserable yet precious memories for Master Edward,” Ralph replied.

Since it was clear that I would not be getting any more details from the old man, I decided to ask something of my own.

“Do you know who I am?” I asked bluntly. From what he’s seen and said, I’m sure that he knows what kind of relationship I have with Edward. We’re not officially dating or anything, but it must be obvious to him that we are intimate. His reactions, however, does not match well if he knew that I am in fact Edward’s step niece.

“Yes, Miss Natalia. I’ve known you for much longer than you think...” Ralph mumbled softly that I could hardly hear him. That’s strange, I’m sure this is our first time meeting...

Before I could ask for more details, Edward returned from his phone call.

“I’m done, sorry it took longer than I wanted it to. Let’s go for dinner?” Edward said warmly as he hooked my arm in his.

Ralph bowed low as we walked past.

...

“Did that old man tell you any of his old tales? He likes to run his mouth in front of guests so pay him no mind,” Edward said as he led me through the hallway of the large house.

“I found him very friendly. I like him. Where are we going?” I replied as Edward continued to drag me along.

“Dinner with the stars,” Edward replied simply as he pointed upwards.

Soon we were standing at the bottom of a winding staircase. Looking up, I could tell that we would be climbing up quite high. Is this, the stargazing tower that he mentioned before?

“Yup, this is the way up to the stargazing tower. It’s a walk up for sure but I think the walk is interesting rather than installing an elevator here,” Edward replied to my unasked question as he pulled me along.

We walked up together up the spiraling staircase. I don’t know how much or how high we’ve climbed but my unfit legs were getting a little tired. Edward slowed down to support me as it was clear that this climb was above my physical abilities.

“Umm...I don’t mean this in a naughty way but...if you want, I can carry you up,” Edward suggested hesitantly as he peered into my face. My face must be red from exerting myself. When did I get so unfit? I wondered how much longer is the climb. I sucked in a couple of deep breaths and decided to continue climbing on my own two feet.

“It’s ok. I can handle this. Thank you for the offer though,” I replied with a tight smile.

After what felt like half a century, I finally made it up to the stargazing hall. I survived! I swear I will start working out and cut down on the red velvet and cheesecake that Reiner loves to serve. Edward did break a sweat and neither was he panting. Clearly, the walk up here was a breeze to him and a full-blown tornado to me.

The sight that greeted me was amazing. We were higher up than I thought and just as Edward had promised, I could see so many bright stars in the dark sky. They shined like precious jewels decorating the sky. It was such a sight to behold that I was awestruck. Living in the city, it was almost impossible to see the stars as clearly as this. Since the mansion was away from the city and there were no other buildings around, I had an unobstructed view of the open night sky that stretched as far as my eyes could see. All that space now filled with twinkling stars.

“Wow...this surely is such a sight!” I exclaimed as I stared at the sky above.

“Your reaction makes me feel like this tower was truly worth building,” Edward replied with a soft laugh.

I felt his arms hugging me from behind as we gazed up at the stars. For a moment, I wish that time would stop. I felt like we may not be able to return to a moment like this after this dinner came to an end.

Chapter 112: First Question

We sat down at the table arranged for our dinner. It was very thoughtful of Edward to arrange a romantic candle-lit dinner for us here where we could dine in the presence of the stars above. However, the atmosphere was filled with tension and dread. It was hard to believe that just a while ago we were having fun dressing each other up like a couple would. Reality is harsh, huh?

“You should eat before we talk. Please try to eat a lot so old Ralph will not cry in his sleep tonight,” Edward joked as he prompted me to eat.

“Ok...” I replied softly as I started eating. The food was probably good. I said probably because I couldn’t taste anything anymore at that point in time.

Thinking of dear old Ralph and his smiling face, I tried to stuff as much food into me as I could. I’m sure that old man put his heart and soul into prepping this romantic dinner setting and meal so the least I could do is show my appreciation by eating as much as I could.

Ralph and some maids helped to clear away the dishes from the table after we were done. Soon, Edward and I were left alone again once more, and the wind suddenly felt much colder than before.

“Want to just start? As promised, since you won the game, you get to ask me three questions and I’ll answer them truthfully,” Edward broke the awkward silence with his low and serious voice.

During the game I looked forward to this moment so much. The moment where I would finally learn the truth from Edward. However, now that the moment had arrived, I felt so much dread and fear. Am I making the right decision? How much more of what was left of my current world would crumble down at his words?

“Ok. Firstly, I want you to tell me the truth about the event behind my dream including the identify of the person who saved me,” I stated slowly. I was surprised at how little my voice shook compared to the turmoil and uncertainty that I was feeling inside.

“What do you think you know about the incident and the identity of the man who saved you?” Edward asked me back patiently.

“What I’ve figured out by myself is that the event really took place. It must have happened soon after my mother passed away and I was living alone with Lucien and therefore, the man who saved me must have been...Lucien as well,” I replied flatly.

“I see...” Edward replied without any emotions.

“Edward, please tell me the truth. I know you said that I wouldn’t believe you even if you told me...but I’m willing to try...” I pleaded as I tried not to raise my voice.

Edward sighed loudly.

“Listen to me carefully. I’m only going to tell you this once. You’ve got everything all wrong except for the fact that the incident was real. The incident really did happen. However, it didn’t happen a while after your mother died. The incident actually took place roughly a year before your mother married Lucien. In other words, when the event took place, you have never met Lucien before. Consequently, Lucien wasn’t the one who saved you on that day,” Edward explained slowly and logically.

“It can’t be...that’s not how I remember it at all,” I replied in shock and confusion.

“I don’t blame you. As I said, you wouldn’t believe me no matter what I said,” Edward replied with a shrug as if he didn’t care and that I could take it or leave it.

“How do you know about this? Do you have some proof that your version of the story is true?” I asked seriously.

“Lucien didn’t save you, Natalia. He has never saved you...” Edward said as he locked eyes with me.

“That’s not true! Lucien saved me,” I shouted back. Lucien had always been there for me.

“Did he tell you that? When you asked him if he saved you that day...did he tell you that he did?” Edward asked back.

Well, he...

‘You must be thankful to that man who saved your life. Do you know him? What does he look like? He sounds like a truly wonderful person...doesn’t he?’

Lucien’s words came back to me...

“He didn’t say it. My brother is sadly and respectfully a man with clear principles of his own. He would never explicitly say that he saved you when he didn’t. Therefore, I am very sure that he never said it. Are you sure that you weren’t just hearing what you wanted to hear from him?” Edward said slowly and empathetically.

“How do you know this?!” I screamed at Edward. Enough with his theories. Why can’t he just tell me straight.

“Natalia. Lucien didn’t save you...I know it best...” Edward spoke in a gentle voice.

“How?” I asked.

“Because I did,” Edward stated clearly and bluntly.

“What?!” I cried out. Edward saved me? Impossible...

“Sorry to disappoint you after all this time. The truth is Lucien never saved you because the one who saved you that day was me. It has always been me,” Edward explained again slowly to drive his point home.

“Impossible...” I said without hiding my confusion and shock.

“Don’t blame yourself for getting it all wrong. Just think about it, it was dark, and you were scared and all you could remember were the green eyes of your savior. You held on to that image without remember the identity of the man...and then, just like magic, less than a year later your mother introduced you to a man who had the same green eyes that you remembered. Not just his eyes, his hair, his face and perhaps even his build was very similar to your savior. In that moment, you must have believed that the man standing before you was your savior, right?” Edward persuaded me.

“...Then when your mother passed away and you were alone with Lucien, your mind twisted your memories even further so that you believed that the incident happened after you were living with Lucien. Why? Because your mind wanted to reconcile its wishes and desires with reality. Your mind wished to find your savior and changing the sequence of your memory of the event could achieve exactly that. Suddenly, your desires aligned with reality and Lucien became the hero you desired. It’s a happy ending, right?” Edward stated his theory with a sad smile.

I didn’t say anything. I was too overwhelmed by how convincing his theory was, and I didn’t have anything to say. Noticing that I didn’t have a response, Edward continued...

Chapter 113: Where We First Met

“The mind will always protect its owner. It can choose to erase or forget inconvenient memories such as memories that would hurt you. Overtime, your mind decided that it would be better if you forgot about the incident. Why? Because any memories of the incident may make you question the true identity of your savior and threaten the happiness that you currently have with Lucien.

But, what about the true savior who was conveniently forgotten? At first, he didn’t mind at all. He didn’t think he would see you again after the incident. Then to his surprise, he met you again when his brother introduced you to him as his step niece. Even then, he was just happy that you seemed happy. So what if everything was a misunderstanding? So what if she never looked or cared about him again?” Edward told me this story passively. Once again, he was referring to the hero as if it was someone else entirely. Just like that time he told me the story about his childhood.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I asked sadly. He could have told me...

“Why would I do that? Imagine how weird the whole situation would be. If I told you prior to this, you would have just said that it was Lucien. Worst, you could have said that you never got lost in the woods before in your life. Since the first day I met you again, I decided to stay away from you,” Edward said with a sad laugh.

“Then why did you approach me? Why did you try to make me remember after all this time?” I asked the burning question in my mind.

“Because you were no longer truly happy. Lucien cannot give you true happiness, Natalia. I’m not saying that I can but if there’s someone who can, it is not Lucien,” Edward stated this as if it was a fact set in stone.

“Why do you think that?” I asked suspiciously.

“I don’t just think it, Natalia. I know it. Why do you think you’re in love with Lucien? Is it because he was kind to you when he raised you? Is it because he’s handsome? Is it because he comforted you when you needed it?” Edward asked rhetorically with narrowed eyes.

“I...” I whispered. My answer dying on my tongue.

“No. You’re in love with him because you believed that he is your first love. Because he is your first love, he has a special place in your heart,” Edward went on as he gazed into my eyes. His green eyes were dead serious, and it was scaring me.

Suddenly, Edward got up from his seat and came over to my side of the table. He knelt down on one knee so that he could stare deeper into my eyes. I couldn’t look away. I was scared, not of him but of how I truly felt.

“Listen well, Natalia. Lucien is not your first love. Your first love has been me all along. It was never his eyes that you fell in love with, it was mine,” Edward said clearly and slowly as he stressed each and every word. His warm hand cupped my cheek as he continued staring into my eyes.

“It is not his touch that you crave, it’s my touch. It is not him that you want, it’s me that you really want. It is not his love that you desire, it’s my love that you’re after,” Edward said slowly and softly.

Edward bent down to kiss my lips softly. It was a very light and fleeting kiss.

“Why are you crying? Is it that disappointing that your first love is me instead of Lucien?” Edward asked as he cocked his head to the side, resting his head in his palm. I couldn’t tell how he felt.

I touched my own cheek and felt the wetness of my tears. I was too shocked and if Edward hadn’t pointed it out, I probably wouldn’t know that I had started crying. I wiped my own tears away as I blinked rapidly.

“Sorry, I...don’t know how I feel...or how I should take it...” I replied honestly.

“So that answered the first part of you question of how I knew it wasn’t Lucien. As for the second part...what proof did I have that my version of the story is true...” Edward continued casually as he continued to peer at me through his long lashes.

I nodded that it was ok for him to continue. I had just finished wiping my tears away with my fingertips and Edward offered me a tissue. I smiled weakly at him.

“Did old Ralph make some unnecessary comments about this place?” Edward asked out of the blue. Did he overhear us earlier?

“He...mentioned that you have precious but painful memories associated to this place...,” I replied.

“He’s right. My mother died here,’ he said abruptly.

“...What? Your mother?” I asked without bothering to hide my shock.

“Well, she didn’t die in this house. As you’ve figured this house is quite new. She died in the building that used to be on this land. I told you before, my mother was taken away when everyone deemed her to be insane. Actually, she was locked up in a mental facility that used to be here. Of course, when my siblings and I were young and lived in the mansion, we were prohibited from visiting her. My father never spoke of her even if we asked so we honestly didn’t even know that she was locked up here. To him, she was as good as dead or better off dead,” Edward recounted the tale in a voice void of all emotions.

“Did you get to meet her?” I asked hopefully.

“Yes, I did. I met her. Since I’m the only one who ran away from home, I was the only one free to find her and see her again. Many years had passed since I’d last seen her and I had changed quite a lot, but she remembered me instantly. That was when I was convinced that she was not insane; she never was. I visited her often...until she passed away soon after,” Edward ended his story on a mixed note.

I guess it was good that he was able to see his mother a couple of times before she passed away. That was something that Madame Francesca and Lucien never got the chance to do.

“My mother used to mention that the stars she could see from the window of her cell was very beautiful at night. That’s why I bought the land here when the facility went out of business and built a house with a stargazing tower. Who knows...maybe my mother uses it from time to time to stargaze,” Edward said dreamily as he thought of his old memories with his mother.

“I see. I didn’t know this place meant so much to you. I’m sure your mother is in a happier place...” I replied sincerely.

“Why do you think I told you this old story?” Edward asked suddenly.

“...I’m not sure...” I replied truthfully. My normal brain can’t keep up with him, ok?

“Let’s try a different question. Why do you think I bought that cottage by the lake, the lake and the surrounding woods?” Edward asked with a smirk.

“Because it is important to you?” I replied with a reasonable guess.

“Right...and why do you think it is important to me?” Edward prompted further.

Because...I didn’t know what to say as I got lost in his sincere green eyes.

“Because that’s where I first met you...” Edward answered for me.

Chapter 114: Second Question

I sat there stunned. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know how to react. If Edward is really the one who saved me and my first love. How does that change how I feel about Lucien and Edward? I was completely lost in my thoughts. I was so confused...

“So...was that enough proof for you?” Edward asked as he hugged my waist and laid his head on my lap. The way he peeked up at me reminded me of a playful cat.

“Sorry, I don’t quite know what to think or how to react right now...” I told him how I honestly felt.

“It’s ok. It is a lot to take in after all. What you’ve believed to be true for ten years was suddenly voided,” Edward replied sympathetically.

“Yeah...” I replied blankly. My mind was too busy sorting out my feelings.

“You seem tired. Want to hold on to your other two questions for now? You can always ask me later...” Edward suggested. His head felt warm and comforting in my lap.

We stayed like that in silent as the stars watched us from above. I looked up to stare at the shining stars and wondered if they could feel pain and frustration like I can. What changes now that I know that Edward is my first love and not Lucien? Does knowing that Edward saved me instead of Lucien really make me love Lucien less? Do I love Edward now just because he’s my first love? Are my feelings really that simple? I don’t believe so...

What should I do from now on? Just as I had dreaded, another chunk of the foundation of my life had disintegrated from right under my feet. First, Lucien told me that he never loved my mother, and their marriage was just for convenience. Now, Edward had just revealed that he is my first love instead of Lucien and that I pretty much had the wrong guy for ten years.

“Can I use my second question now?” I asked Edward as I settled on my second question.

“Sure...but it’s getting cold out here. Let’s go inside,” Edward replied as he lifted his head from my lap and got up. He offered his hand to me, and I took it.

...

“You must be stressed out at least a little and it’s getting late. Why don’t you sleep over here?” Edward suggested as he took me into what must be a guest bedroom.

“But...” I started to protest weakly.

“I’ll let Lucien know. It’ll be alright. Just rest, ok?” Edward replied with a gentle smile.

We sat on the sofa next to each other and things got a little awkward. I didn’t know how to start with my second question.

“Edward, what should I do from now on?” I asked abruptly.

“Is that you second question?” Edward asked in disbelief.

“Yes...is it a weird thing to ask?” I inquired as I cocked my head to the side slightly.

“Well, the question you just asked doesn’t have a true or false and is purely based on my opinion. Are you ok with that?” Edward asked. Honestly, I hadn’t considered that.

“It’s fine. Just answer my question with what you honestly think,” I said as I nodded.

“What I think you should do? Honestly, I don’t think you have to do anything in particular. I wanted you to know the truth about who saved you and your first love because I didn’t want you to continue basing your actions on false information and misunderstandings. That’s it. I personally don’t think the concept of ‘First Love’ is as important as what is going on in your life at the present, Edward paused.

“Let me be more specific. So, now you know that Lucien isn’t your first love. So what? That doesn’t necessarily mean that the love you feel for him is wrong or should disappear. You shouldn’t stop loving him just because he isn’t your first love but whether you should continue to love him or not depends on the present. Same goes for my case. Should you fall madly in love with me suddenly just because you found out that I was your first love from ten years ago?” Edward paused as he winked at me.

“Of course not, right? That’s just too dumb. I didn’t expect you to fall in love with me when you found out. If you fall in love with me or someone, I hope it’s because you love them in the present and you see a promising future with them,” Edward said with a genuine smile.

“So, what should I do? I shouldn’t do anything?” I asked. I understood his way of thinking but how do I proceed forward from here?

“Simple. What you need to do is focus on what is best for you and your future. Be smart and start thinking about yourself more. Choose what is in your present that you think will lead you to the best future possible. The past doesn’t need to influence our present and future, we can choose not to let it intervene. This is my answer for you. However, this doesn’t need to be your answer,” Edward said with conviction as he lightly patted the top of my head.

If I leave things the way they are, will things naturally unfold? How can I tell what in the present will lead to the best future for me? What was the future that I ultimately wanted for myself? These questions are just crashing on me like tsunami waves, and they were making me feel so small and helpless.

“If you were me, what would you choose in this present that would lead to the best future?” I asked Edward as I peered over at his emotionless face.

Chapter 115: Level Playing Field

“Is that the third question?” he asked without looking at me. He was staring off into space.

“No! it’s a...continuation of question two. So maybe like question two point one...?” I tried to explain. I still wanted to ask him another question for my third one.

“I’ve actually told you this before but maybe you don’t remember,” Edward replied. He still wasn’t looking at me.

“Really? Then can you repeat it again? I’m all ears,” I replied as I nudged his leg with my foot lightly to get his attention.

“You should marry me. If I were you, I’d marry me as soon as possible,” Edward replied as he finally turned to face me.

“That’s not a joke, right?” I asked curiously. I mean, I guess he did tell me that before and things didn’t go down so well after that.

Instead of replying to my question, Edward took out his phone and typed a text. What is he doing?

‘Natalia will be staying over at my place tonight. There is no need to worry. The level playing field starts now, brother.’

Edward hit the send button before turning to face Natalia once more as he offered her an innocent smile.

...

**Earlier that day**

“What is this!?” Lucien shouted in his younger brother’s face as he slammed the necklace he was holding down onto the table.

“Well, good morning!” Edward greeted his brother gleefully.

“Edward...” Lucien said his brother’s name in a solemn voice.

“You came all this way to ask me this? You can see for yourself, right? It’s a necklace...with a custom star-shape diamond pendant,” Edward said with a small smile.

“So, it really is yours,” Lucien said with narrowed eyes.

“Well to be more precise, it belongs to Natalia now. I gave it to her. Is that all you came here for?” Edward asked with an innocent smile.

“Why did you give this necklace to her? What do you want?” Lucien asked.

“I gave it to her so that she will be reminded to stay true to herself. I didn’t want anything in particular...is there a problem?” Edward said casually.

“What did you tell Natalia about the event in her dreams?” Lucien asked sternly.

“I didn’t tell her anything...I promise, did she say something?” Edward replied. Technically, I didn’t tell her anything, but I did show her a few things...

“Natalia mentioned that she remembers a man with green eyes saving her from the incident in her dream. She believes that man was me...” Lucien stated as he gauged his brother’s reaction. Edward’s poker face was perfect.

“And...does that have anything to do with me?” Edward prompted as he shrugged.

“You know that I didn’t save her, right? I didn’t even know the incident took place until Natalia asked me about it a while back when she started having the nightmares,” Lucien spat. He was clearly getting outraged.

“What makes you think that I know?” Edward replied innocently.

“Because you were the one who saved her! Am I wrong? Tell me I’m wrong...” Lucien shouted without restraint.

“So...what if I did? You’re here because you already know, right? The event in Natalia’s dream really happened and the one who saved her was me. It was never you. Her first love is not you; it has always been me,” Edward challenged Lucien.

“Listen, I’ve protected her for ten years. During that time, what have you done for her?” Lucien challenged his brother back.

“Me? I stepped aside to let my older brother protect her while he pretended to be her first love,” Edward shot back.

“It doesn’t matter who her first love is. That was more than ten years ago, right now she loves me,” Lucien argued with confidence in his voice.

“How certain are you about that? She’s always been in love with me, Lucien. All these years, you were nothing more than a substitute for me and her memories of me,” Edward stated with confidence of his own.

“Of course, I’m certain. She just told me that she loves me,” Lucien replied as he glared at Edward.

“Hahaha...then tell me, why are you so worried about a necklace?” Edward replied as he laughed a little.

“You’ve always left her alone. Why are you taking interest in her now?” Lucien asked curiously.

“I’ve always stepped aside for your sake. Even when father chose me as his heir to replace you, I ran away so that you could revert to being his heir. Never in my life, did I want to compete with my dear brother. I’m not cut out to be part of the Rosenhall family like you and Francesca are and that is precisely why I can tell that Natalia cannot continue to live as part of this damned and fucked up family,” Edward stated clearly.

“This family that you hate so much is what is protecting the girl right now and has been for over ten years,” Lucien reminded his brother in a cold voice.

“Are you sure? Isn’t it because of this family that she’s currently in the position that she’s in?” Edward asked rhetorically.

“I will marry Natalia and she will remain in the family. That is the only way she can be protected,” Lucien stated firmly.

“This family killed our mother. You know that better than anyone. Are you going to ignore everything and watch as it kills Natalia too? She can’t be locked up forever,” Edward argued.

“She will be fine as long as she has me. Edward, stay out of this like you always have,” Lucien said with a warning.

“You’re not the chosen one Lucien. You must think that you are and therefore you have absolute right over her. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not. You’re just a candidate and you’re not the only one,” Edward replied as he shook his head.

“What are you talking about?” Lucien asked, his lips pursed into a thin line.

“I’ve always given you an advantage over me by letting Natalia forget about me. However, from now on, we’ll start all over again and it will be a level playing field this time,” Edward went on.

“What do you mean by that?” Lucien asked as he furrowed his brows suspiciously.

“If I die, promise me that you will protect what is inside this envelop...ring a bell?” Edward asked as he smiled cunningly.

Slowly, Edward placed a black envelop onto the table.