Ch. 31..40

Chapter 31

"That day I left you," Zev said quietly as he smoothly accelerated the Jeep onto the highway, "Nick showed up. You have to understand, Nick never showed up when I was in the world. We'd talk on the phone and stuff, but he wasn't part of the fake family they gave me. They didn't want anyone making the connection with the program, and Nick's at the center of that. So when I walked into the house after school and he was in the living room… I knew."

"Knew what?"

"I knew that they knew we'd had sex. And they knew I was bonding to you."

Her head whipped around and her eyes widened. "But you just said—"

"I didn't bond the way the older Chimera bond, Sasha. I didn't have this lightening bolt that fused my soul to yours. For me it was quiet. It's just… you're a part of me. I could feel it happening, though I didn't recognize it at the time because the older Chimera had described the bond and what I was experiencing was different. I kept telling myself it wasn't the same so it wasn't a problem but… But they knew. Somehow they knew. Nick was there to take me away.

"At first I fought it. But then he started talking. He was being really kind. He told me they realized how much I cared about you and he made it sound like he admired that. He was so manipulative. I thought he was giving me hope! I started talking about how amazing you were and… but as soon as I started being open about that, it all fell apart."

Zev got lost in the memory of that day, the darkness that covered him from that moment on.

He was standing in the living room of the house they'd used while he was at school, his "parents" where nowhere to be seen, but Nick had been waiting for him when he walked in. Now he sat in the recliner while Zev stood on the carpet in front of him, his school bag still over one shoulder, shaking his head. He wasn't leaving her.

"You promised, Zev," Nick said—and it cut Zev down the middle because Nick looked like he'd been betrayed. "You promised me that you wouldn't go this far with her and now we're in the shit."

"I didn't bond—"

"Well you did something. What it is doesn't matter. They don't know yet, but unless you come with me now, and they see you back in the program, they're going to figure it out. You're changing, Zev. This is changing you and we don't know how it's going to end. You put all of us, this entire program, in jeopardy you little shit."

Zev swallowed convulsively. Nick hardly ever got angry with him… "I didn't mean to, I wasn't prepared, she surprised me."

Nick sighed and pinched his nose between his fingers. "And now here we are. I told you, Zev. I told you—"

"But we didn't bond! Everything is fine!"

Nick pushed up out of his chair and stood toe-to-toe with Zev. Zev had several inches of height on him, but in Chimera, dominance was King. Zev might own the Chimera. But Nick was the closest thing Zev had to a father. And this father owned the world.

Nick leaned into him, one finger pointed at his chest, Zev began to shake.

"Nothing is fine. Nothing. We're just lucky that no one else has figured out how you fucked up yet. Only me."

"But—"

"The females are dying, Zev. You broke them."

"I… what?"

"You think we haven't kept the test females? We have them. All of them. They aren't like you, Zev. They bond. And every single one of them thinks you're their mate. They've been struggling anyway, but now… ever since four days ago, they're starting to die. You might not think you're bonded, but something changed. And they know it. They've lost hope."

"Why would you do that to them?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because you're too fucking softhearted, Zev. And it was the only way we could find out."

"But—"

"What's past is past, Zev. You know that. There's no way to change the past. We can only affect the future. So you have two choices, you can leave with me and come back—you'll get to go home, we have a purpose for you in the valley. They'll stop watching you so closely if they know you're in our hands and not with her."

"Can she come too?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Nick snapped. "She's the fucking problem!"

"But she's my—"

He almost said it, but broke off and Nick's eyes went wide for a flash, then narrowed menacingly and his voice went cold. Zev quavered. Nick was the only person in the world who could make Zev feel like a puppy that was going to piss itself.

"I changed my mind," Nick growled.

"About what?"

"There's no choices. You're coming with me, right now."

"No."

Nick gave a cold chuckle and grabbed the front of Zev's shirt. "You're coming with me, your precious little girlfriend is going to die. Or maybe I kill her parents first just so you can see how miserable she is, then I kill her."

"You wouldn't—"

"Try me."

"But you said we had to be under the radar here!"

"Did you see the van in the driveaway, Zev?"

He had. It was the first clue that something was going on, but he'd hoped… "Yeah."

"If you want, I'll take you out there and show you the sniper that lives across the road from her house and has a bead on her every time she walks out the door."

Zev froze. "You can't… you can't do that. The neighbors—"

Nick shook his head. "Or I can show you the trash collector that drives the truck and is one of ours. He passes her on her way to school every Friday. Terrible accident if he were to side-swipe that little car she drives… such a tragedy."

Zev licked his lips. "Nick… please—"

"I can show you the ID on the teacher at school that is in my pocket and who's just looking for an excuse to take one of the girls—Sasha's plenty pretty enough for him, and he enjoys his work. Takes it nice and slow. I'm sure Sasha wouldn't though—"

The image of Sasha in another man's hands—a predator—was what broke him.. He shoved Nick back with a snarl, his lip curling back from his teeth.

 

Chapter 32

Nick was a fifth level black belt in Karate. Faster than lightning, he grabbed for Zev's arm and almost caught him.

Almost.

It was an eye-opening moment for Zev, who though he had been stronger than the thirty-something Nick since he was fifteen, had never been as fast. But they hadn't sparred in almost a year, and suddenly, Zev discovered, he was keeping up.

Nick's eyes narrowed as he tried to reach Zev with blows, thrusts, and kicks, yet never quite made it. Instead, the quiet room filled with the echo of thwacks and grunts as Nick tried to over power him, and Zev defended every blow so the older man never got a firm hold on him.

But all the while, in Zev's mind, the images of Sasha walking out of her front door and falling to a bullet, being slammed into the windshield of her car, or screaming under the hands of a monster, flipped through his head in slow motion. And as he kept his surrogate father's hands from reaching him, he knew it didn't matter whether he could win this fight or not.

Nick could kill her with one phone call. Had probably already made arrangements for her to die if Nick didn't check in within a certain period.

It was the kind of thing Zev had seen him do to others.

That was the day everything changed for Zev—or started to, anyway.

As he blinked away the memory, he realized he must have been describing the scene to Sasha. She was still turned in her seat, but one of her hands was on his upper arm, and her face was lined with sorrow and fear.

"Surely it was just a threat? He wouldn't really have—"

"I tried to tell myself that later," Zev said quietly, shaking his head. "But I was lying to myself to keep myself from losing my mind. Nick is my dad, Sash. I mean, as far as something like me can have one, he's what I've got. And he… he would have killed you in a heartbeat. He still will. Why do you think I've dragged you out here?"

*****

~ SASHA ~

Sasha yanked back the hand she'd on his arm—his steely, warm arm—and clapped it to her mouth, the pictures of those men chasing them, the bullet that splintered the railing in the old apartment stairwell, the guy who stopped them in the parking lot, that man—that thing—that attacked him when they got to the car.

She knew her eyes were too wide. That she was showing her fear—and she saw Zev's throat bob. But she couldn't move. She couldn't say anything.

They really would have killed her. She'd known they needed to escape, had instinctively felt the danger, but… but she'd been separate from it somehow while it was happening.

Now… now, that she could think and breathe and look at Zev's face… now it hit her.

She almost died. And Zev had saved her.

Of course, it sounded like he was the only reason they wanted her dead, too.

Zev kept his focus on the road ahead, the headlights making cones on the black road and catching the reflectors on the barrier between the north and southbound lanes. But his eyes slipped to her face every few seconds, checking in, just like he used to, measuring her to see if she was okay, ready to put himself between her and whatever might harm her.

That was it, right? He wanted to help her. He was watching her to see if he needed to reach out. Not… not because he was going to hurt her if she did the wrong thing?

"What's that, what are you thinking?" he asked suddenly, the frown lines beside his mouth deepening.

"I… what?"

"Your scent… something just changed. Something that made you fearful and… what? I can't figure it out. What were you thinking?"

Sasha blew out a breath and shook her head. "This is crazy. This is all crazy. You're scenting my feelings now?"

"I've always been able to scent your feelings, Sash, remember? Remember how you used to say I always knew just when to hug you, and when you leave you alone? It's because I could always tell what was happening—at least, some. I just didn't tell you that's how I did it."

The emotions that rose in her then were so wildly conflicting, she felt like she was being torn in half.

It seemed like everything he said took her memories, the best memories of her life, and changed the colors and textures of them.

He loved her. He'd said that—he still loved her. And he'd been forced away from her. If she'd heard that days earlier she would have wept with joy.

But this… every word out of his mouth told her that he wasn't who she'd thought he was. And how did she know if she loved him if he wasn't who she thought she loved?

"I'm so confused," she murmured, dropping her face into her hand and rubbing her eyes. "I don't know what to think about that."

"All you need to think is that I cared enough to pay attention, that's all."

Sasha groaned and dropped her head back against the seat.

She turned to tell him what a ridiculous statement that was just as lights in the opposing traffic played across his face and her heart fluttered.

His forehead was lined with worry, his eyes, deep set and glinting, shone with determination as he scanned the mirrors. His jaw, heavier than it was five years ago and shadowed this late in the day twitched as he clenched his teeth.

She scanned down the long cord of his neck that disappeared into his tight shirt, the way his shoulders and biceps rolled under the clinging fabric, and how the tendons on the back of his hands stood proud because he was gripping and regripping the steering wheel, the only gesture that truly betrayed his tension.

She'd given up. She'd gotten in a Jeep with this man that she didn't know anymore. But everything within her sang just to be in his presence. Yet, every word out of his mouth made her doubt that.

"You know me, Sash," he said and his voice was so much lower than it had been a few years ago. She shivered. "Don't doubt it."

"I know nothing," she said, shaking her head. "None of this. I didn't even know this part of my world existed… let alone you."

He turned then, jaw tight, and their eyes locked. "You know me," he repeated, emphasizing the last word.. "The rest doesn't matter when that's true."

 

Chapter 33

She opened her mouth to say it wasn't that simple. But his voice broke in first.

You can trust me, Sash. You know you can.

Except… his lips didn't move. She blinked. Then blinked again.

"What the—how did you do that?" she breathed.

He held her eyes and she knew she should be worried about keeping the car on the road, but she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"It's because of the wolf. I told you, we have some… characteristics they do. I can talk to your mind. If I want to. If you wanted to, you could talk back, because we're bonded."

"I… what?!"

Zev blew out a breath and tore his eyes away to check the mirrors, then came back to her, his eyes dark in the dim light, but soft on her. "Wolves can talk to each other telepathically. They do it with images, but because I'm human I can also do it with words."

She stared, her mouth open. She needed to speak. To react. To tell him this was crazy. But he snorted like he'd heard the thought and his voice bloomed in her head again.

You know you're beautiful even when you look at me like I'm nuts.

An image flashed in her head—herself, staring like a crazy person. Gaping at him. But it wasn't just the image. It was… his feelings. Her lower lip was full and inviting… her eyes, the fear in them, made him sad. Her breasts had filled out since—

"That's enough!" she snapped, jerking back like she'd been slapped, her cheeks heating.

Zev grinned just like he used to in high school when he knew he was being cute and it slayed her, a crackle of electricity right to her heart—and lower in her belly.

She sat back in her seat, emotions rolling over each other as she tried to take this all in.

Somehow, impossibly, she still felt safe with him even though every stinking thing that came out of his mouth told her that she shouldn't. She still wanted him—hell, she still loved him! And he was here and saying all the right things about her. And if those feelings were real, the things he'd felt when he looked at her…

It was her dream come true.

But then her brain kicked in and she imagined talking about this with Rob over coffee in the morning.

"Yeah, he abducted me from the street, forced me back to my apartment to pack a bag, treated me like shit, then forced me into a car he'd hidden out in the woods… oh, and did I mention he can turn into a wolf and talk to me in my head?"

She felt that hysterical laughter bubbling up again and swallowed it down. She wasn't cracking up. She was under stress. And she needed to make a decision.

Except… hadn't she already made it back then? Running from him in the car and when he headed her off…

If she'd needed anymore proof that she was, in fact, still in love with the Zev she knew five years ago, the fact that she'd just walked through a horror movie and was still thinking about kissing him had to be it.

Then the thought of him breeding with other women slammed into her head and stopped her breath.

Her Zev. Her sweet, thoughtful, hot-as-lava Zev had had his hands all over other women.

Wait…

A breeder.

Did that mean…?

"How many?" she croaked, staring at the dashboard because she knew if she looked at him she'd just melt again and let herself forget about all this.

"How many what?"

"How many women have you… bred with?"

He took a deep breath and she braced herself. "There were five before you," he said quietly. "The tests. They're all dead now." The grief in his voice was a spear to her gut.

"And after you left me?"

She felt him flinch at the words, but refused to apologize. It was only the truth.

"I don't know," he said. "A lot. None the first couple of years. But once they brought me out of the Chimera and back here… a lot. A few a month."

"A few… every month?!"

"It depends on whether there's a hunt and what's going on in the research and… but yes…" She did turn to look at him then because he wasn't looking at her. Those little muscles at the back of his jaw flexed and his hands opened on the steering wheel again. "They meant nothing to me, Sash," he said softly. "It was literally… But I was always in the wolf."

"Wait, WHAT?!"

His Adam's apple bobbed. "When Chimera mate, it's usually more successful if they're in animal form. And on a practical level it's easier. My wolf can scent when she's—"

"Stop! No! I don't want to hear this. I can't… I don't want to… I can't, Zev. I just… I can't think about that."

He lifted a hand off the wheel to claw it through his hair. "Please, Sasha," he said, and there was a soft pleading to his tone that made her eyes close. "Please, forgive me. I thought… I never thought I'd get you back. I thought… I thought it was what I was made to do."

"That's why this is such a problem, Zev," she said, her voice too high. "Because until just now I would have sworn I was made to love you. I was so certain… I couldn't even think about sleeping with anyone else. Everyone called me crazy. They said I was obsessed, that I'd built you up in my mind. That no one was that perfect. And I tried to tell them… but they were right. Right?" She swallowed hard.

A tiny noise broke in his throat and every muscle in his body seemed to tighten.

"Sash… please…"

She shook her head, her heart torn in half between wanting to hold him and wanting to hurt him. But then his hand appeared over hers and their fingers twined, and the smell of him wafted over her.

Sasha closed her eyes and let her head sink back against the headrest, and clung to his large, thick hand, so warm when hers were so cold.

 

 

Chapter 34

Neither of them spoke.

Zev could feel her tension, the argument she was having with herself. How she swung back and forth between wanting to pull him closer and wanting to push him away. But he knew she had needed to know. That this would lay between them. And if she'd taken him back and then found out…

Sex had always been important to her—and it was to the Chimera too, so when they were growing up he'd understood, perhaps better than her fully human friends. After all, historically any Chimera that had sex was bonded for life. Being careful about that choice was important. And the culture within his people hadn't changed. Most of the Chimera still lived with that "flaw" as Nick called it.

But looking at the pain on Sasha's face at the idea of him with those other females, Zev was starting to think maybe the Chimera had it right.

He clung to her hand, willing her to decide to forgive him. To take him. To see that his love for her was real.

When twenty minutes passed and she still didn't speak, and didn't look at him—but also didn't let go of his hand, he cleared his throat.

"Sasha," he murmured, "I didn't want t—"

"Don't."

He gave a heavy sigh. "You have to understand, I was literally made for this. There's nothing in it—"

"I said, don't, Zev. I can't… I don't want to think about what you've done or with who, or why. What I have to figure out is what you are now. Who you are to me. And what we'll be together."

He blew out a breath. "That's easy," he said quietly.

She did look at him then, her brows pinched together. "How can you say that?"

"Because, you belong to me. And I belong to you, Sash. Can't you see. Can't you feel it? No one has ever made me feel the way you do. No one. Not even fear. I just… I walk through most of my day numb, do you understand? I do crazy shit with crazy people and I just… do it.

"I mean, there's a weird thrill sometimes when you get the guy, or when something was hard and you got through it. But other than that… I've been dead inside since I left you. Except when I could see you. Being anywhere near you, hearing your voice, it was like a drug for me. Do you understand that, Sash?"

"God help me," she whispered. "I do. Everyone thought I was crazy, Zev. But it was like I could feel that you were still out there and all I had to do was wait. But no one believed me."

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, willing her to look at him, to see his love in his eyes.

She shook her head. "Even I was giving up the last few months," she said softly, looking down where their hands were clasped so tightly. "I was starting to believe them all. I thought I needed to find someone to replace the space you'd made in my heart…"

Zev knew. He wanted to growl. "That guy, what was his name… Knox?"

She turned and stared at him. "You do realize that telling me things like that just makes you more and more of a creeper that I should run away from, screaming?"

"I wasn't following you, Sasha… I mean, not very often, at least."

She raised one eyebrow. "You knew Rob's name. You know Knox."

Zev growled without thinking—that Knox guy always made him feel furious. "That dickhead was a player. I couldn't believe you didn't see through him."

"I did… it just took some time."

Zev shifted in his seat. He was asking her to forgive him for mating with dozens of women. He could forgive her one boyfriend who was a douche. But fuck… that guy was such a tool!

"He didn't seem like your type, what drew you to him?" he asked, finally, the question that had been burning for him since the day he'd learned she went on a date with the guy.

Sasha, oddly, laughed… a weary laugh.

"The truth?" she asked quietly.

"Of course."

"The first time I saw him, I thought he was you," she said, shaking her head. "We were at a bar and I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye and my whole body lit up, Zev. You said being near me was like a drug for you? I get that. I mean… sometimes I would just stare at him, trying to get that feeling back."

Zev started to smile, then it turned into a deep frown. She'd been looking for him. That was awesome. And also terrifying.

"He's nothing like me," he said emphatically.

She shrugged. "I could ignore that for a while. I was supposed to be getting over you. It seemed like a good middle step. Of course, I hadn't seen you in five years. He's more like the Zev of five years ago. Now you're… this," she said dryly, flapping a hand to indicate him from his knees to his head.

"What is this?" he asked, trying not to smile.

"Please, don't play games with me, Zev."

"I'm not!"

She turned and looked at him finally and he met her gaze. "You are. Stop. I'm trying, okay? I'm here. I haven't lost my mind—or at least, if I have, I can still string a logical thought together. Just… let a girl have some pride."

"Pride about what?"

"About being needy."

"Needy? Are you serious? I turned into a wolf in front of you and you fought me. You're many things, Sash, but needy isn't one of them."

"Then don't make me talk about how much hotter you are than me, because I'm still… coming to terms with that."

"Hotter?" he said, frowning. "Sasha, there's no 'hotter' between you and me. We're perfect for each other. I don't know how it happened. I don't even know how it's possible since I'm… this thing, and you're a real person. But I'm not going to deny the pure truth: We were made for each other. In my case, literally. So… so do what you need to do. I'm asking you to forgive me for giving up and giving in. But don't ever doubt for a day that if you'll have me, I'll never turn away from you again.. Ever."

 

Chapter 35

She wanted to argue literally everything he'd said, but one of those statements demanded to be addressed. "Zev, what do you mean you're a "thing" and I'm a real person?"

His lips thinned, but he didn't let go of her hand. "I just meant… I mean, I'm a creature, Sasha, you get that, right? I wasn't born. I was made. Created by people. Real people. No one really knows what I am. They call us Chimera because they don't really understand how we work or where we came from. You're human. You were made when two other humans reproduced. I was made in a lab. I was cultivated by a machine. It's an existential mind-fuck," he muttered.

She frowned. In many ways she found this thought far more disturbing than anything else he'd said so far that night.

"You're human though, too, right? I mean, your human genes must have come from somewhere?"

"Sure. But knowing what I do about these people now, I'm guessing whoever my mother or father was, they either don't even know I exist, or they were forced to give their DNA. Either way, there's no family reunions in my future. I wasn't adopted out, if you know what I mean. God doesn't listen when I talk, Sash. No matter what happens… remember that."

Her head jerked back and she stared at him, and the weight that had suddenly appeared to rest on his shoulders. "What are you talking about? God hears everyone."

Zev shook his head. "God hears people, Sash. Like you. You have a soul, so He hears you. Me? Soulless. I'm a… a piece of engineering. When I die… either there's nothing left, or I'm headed for hell. I guess I'll find out when the day comes."

"Zev! Stop saying that!" she gasped, clasping his forearm in her free hand.

"I'm not trying to dramatic, Sasha, I've read the histories. Trust me, I didn't come from anywhere good."

"But… but you ARE good!"

"No, I'm good AT stuff—which is different."

She stared at him and he stared back, unapologetic—but she could see the shadow behind his eyes, too. He really believed what he was saying—and he didn't like it.

"Zev," she started.

He shook his head. "We don't have time for this kind of debate right now, Sash. When we get you safe then we can talk about this for weeks if you want. But right now—"

"See! See, that's exactly what I mean. How can you say this about yourself? You say that I know you—the real you? You were being real with me five years ago? And you say you haven't changed?"

He grunted. "I've grown up, just like you have, Sash. But who I am hasn't changed."

"Okay then, that means you're good. You care. You're thoughtful and sweet and you have a… a moral compass. You aren't just some mindless creature."

His lips twisted. "I never said mindless. I said soulless."

"Zev!"

"Look, Sash, thank you. I appreciate you trying to help me right now, but I'm not joking. We don't have time. Wait until we get out from under Nick and get you into safety, okay? Then I'll debate this with you until the moon rises."

She sat back, feeling shaky and sulky and too many other things to sort out. But she knew he was right. This wasn't the time. She just… she hated thinking that he thought of himself that way.

"Fine, but this conversation isn't over," she said quickly.

"Sure," he said dismissively. "Now… we're about thirty minutes away from the place we need to start travelling, and I need to talk to you about how we're going to do that and what's going to happen tonight to get you to safety."

"Okay."

"The thing is, Sash, you have to be sure. That you want to give this a shot with me, I mean. The place I'm taking you, it's not easy to get in and out—that's why it's not easy for Nick to find you there. There's a whole town of people, but it's really remote. Really. There's no cars, and you wouldn't be able to walk out. Not easily, anyway. And not without help. This place… it's beautiful and I always wanted to show it to you. But it's not an easy place to live. You won't have a lot of the comforts you're used to. But what you will have is safety. If we're there… we can pretty much live in peace."

"This Nick guy won't come after you?"

"Oh, he'll try. But he won't be able to get there alone and if he gets help he has to tell them that he fucked up and lost me. Which he won't do. But the thing is… to keep you really safe—and to keep the people there safe—you can't know how to get there. I have to… I'd have to blindfold you and… and maybe make you sleep through part of the journey."

"What, why?"

"Because… if Nick or anyone close to him ever does catch up with us—or if you ever decide to come back here—you have to be able to say you truly don't know how to get there. They'll know if you're lying. You can't. You just can't know. And… it's complicated.

"Look, the important part is this: If you're sure. If you'll let me take you there, then I'll take care of everything. You can have a rest and I'll carry you and we'll get there, and you'll wake up and we can… we can start a new life."

His voice got lower, softer as he said those words and her breath stopped.

"Are you… I mean…" She licked her lips. "If I go… you'll be there too, right?"

"Of course," he said. "As long as it's in my power, I'm never leaving you alone again, Sasha. They'll have to kill me first." He stared at her, his eyes hard and determined and her heart fluttered.

Fuck, this was crazy. But whatever had broken loose inside her when he showed up had been waiting for this for five years. "Then, I already told you," she said softly, squeezing his hands.. "I'm in."

 

Chapter 36

Before the thirty minutes had passed she was already nodding off.

Zev had gotten quieter and more tense the further they'd driven, until eventually he was just holding her hand and not talking at all.

All the adrenalin and fear of the night wore off suddenly in the lull of passing headlights and reflectors, until Sasha found herself working hard to keep her eyes open… then drifting… conscious of Zev moving his hand to her thigh. Aware at some point that she'd slumped sideways and was resting her temple against something warm and hard. But then… nothing.

In the dream she was in a castle in a snowy mountain range that smelled like Zev—wet earth and sunny skies. She wore a gorgeous ballgown that pressed her breasts higher, but left her arms bare. And she was alone.

She frowned.

In front of her was a thin table that stood at waist height. At the center of it a clear, glass, teardrop shaped vase stood with a single red rose standing at attention from its depths. A stiff white card was leaned against it with her name written on it. She picked it up and turned it over, but it only read, "Sorry." Nothing else. No name. No explanation.

She frowned harder and picked up the rose, but she hadn't noticed the thorns on the stem and it pricked her.

She startled and dropped it, accidentally knocking over the vase—sighing with relief when there was no water inside to spill.

Then the most perfect warmth curled around her back and thick, strong arms reached past her and a caramel voice whispered in her ear, "Do you mind?"

She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Sure," she said, smiling back as he reached for the vase and set it safely on its base again, returning the rose to it. But he didn't remove his arms immediately. For a moment he just stood there, embracing her with his body.

Then she let her hands—even the bleeding one—rest on the insides of his elbows, then slide down his forearms, the crisp hair tickling her palms until she reached the back of his thick hands and slide her fingers between his. He curled his fingers to grip hers, then pulled both their hands up to her stomach—his arms around hers.

He dropped his chin to her shoulder and kissed her neck at that spot, just under her ear, that always gave her goosebumps.

Her breath sped up.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked her softly, his voice a deep rumble that vibrated against her back.

"I'm so sure, Zev," she said, inhaling deeply, uncertain if the delicious scent was him or the castle, or the mountains outside.

He turned her in his arms then, until her chest pressed against his ribs. She slid her arms around his trim waist and he cupped her face with both hands, searching her eyes, his own shining with both love and fear.

"Don't be afraid," she whispered. "I'm not. This is you and me. We're perfect," she said, praying she could reassure him.

He didn't respond, but his eyes dropped to her lips. Then he leaned down, covering her, putting himself between her and the world, until his lips, soft and full, brushed hers. She sucked in a breath and pressed herself into his chest as he curled over her, opened his mouth, and their tongues began to dance—so lightly, darting and falling away—that her skin tingled, all her blood rushing forward to flush and warm, seeking his touch.

He sighed her name and one of his hands slid down her hair to the hollow of her back, pulling her against him, the other fisted in her hair. His breath thundered against her cheek.

Sasha trembled. She'd waited for this for so long. Yearned for it. Never quite felt right after he'd been gone—and never quite wanted this with anyone else.

The kiss deepened, and so did her breathing. Her heart pounding so hard she was afraid he'd feel it in his ribs.

Then he started walking her forward, pulling her with him as he backed towards the huge bed she hadn't noticed when she was standing there, staring at the rose.

Her breath came even faster. Goosebumps prickled her skin as his fingers curled into her back, fisting her jacket—wait. Jacket? She was in a ballgown.

"Sasha…"

She deepened the kiss, tilting her head, a tiny whimper breaking in her throat.

Zev groaned and it vibrated against her breasts, making her nipples stand up hard. She clung to his shoulders, one hand buried in his hair, pulling him towards her.

"Sasha… please…"

"Yes," she whispered back, pulling back far enough to meet his eyes so he'd see that she was sure. That she was serious. That she needed him.

But when she opened her eyes, the room was black. She couldn't see the warm light from the lamp in the corner anymore, or the fluffy cover on the bed. She couldn't even see Zev.

She could only feel him.

The first tendril of fear began to twist in her chest.

"Zev?"

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you."

"Zev, I can't see you."

"It's okay, baby. I've got you. I'm here. Just relax."

Then suddenly his warmth was gone and she was hit with the shock of cold. She sat bolt upright, gasping and blinking, the hand she threw to her chest making whirring noises against the canvas of her snow jacket where her gloved fingers rubbed it.

Wait… jacket?

"Thank God you're okay, Sasha," he said, his voice tense and breathless. "Thank God."

She blinked again and the first thing that came into focus was Zev's eyes. He was crouched in front of her, his shoulders wide and rigid, his eyes fixed on hers bright in the warm light of… of…

She blinked again and looked around, and her mouth dropped open.

"Zev," she whispered. "Where the hell are we?"

 

Chapter 37

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, he prayed, his pounding heart fluttering and rolling over with relief.

Sasha sat in front of him, one cheek red where it had rested on her arm, strands of hair falling over her forehead and cheeks and waving in the breeze of her too-fast breath.

Thank God.

When she hadn't woken up hours ago he'd worried that he had overdosed her.

When she hadn't woken up an hour ago—and still hadn't moved—he'd worried that he'd killed her.

"Zev?" she said, her voice too high as she looked around the cave, it's walls a deep, worn gray and bare here, deep within it. Though vines crept around the walls and ceiling closer to the opening.

He put a hand to neck and made her focus on him. "I'm right here. You're fine. Look at me, Sash, you're fine. Okay? You've been asleep for a while, that's all. Just let yourself wake up."

Curse fucking Nick and his fucking dosing instructions. Zev hadn't thought about how Nick would always be planning from the angle of an enemy whose life was forfeit to the greater cause.

Fucking Nick.

He combed Sasha's beautiful mahogany hair off her face with his fingers, letting them trail down her back over and over again until she stopped looking like a fish that had been smacked in the head, and started focusing on him.

She swallowed, then put a hand to his chest. His chest tightened when he saw how she touched him so easily. "Where are we?"

"We're home," he said quietly, waiting for the question to enter her eyes. "Where I grew up," he explained.

She looked around again, turning her head left and right. He'd lit one of the torches on the wall, but only the one in the deepest part of the cave where he'd curled Sasha up on a thick fur until she woke. He hadn't wanted to give anyone a warning that they were there. This reunion was going to be tough enough as it was without letting them prepare for it.

Shit. What was she going to think when she met—

"Home?" she said faintly. "Where's that? Massachusetts??"

He spluttered a laugh. "No," he said, dryly. "It's home. I'll show you once you've got your feet under you. It's early morning. Once we start moving you can see for yourself."

She kept blinking and looking around.

"Can you see okay?" he asked quickly. He hadn't thought about side effects of the drug.

"I think so," she said, her forehead furrowing. "I just… this isn't what I expected when you said we were losing creature comforts."

Then her eyes went back to him, glinting with mischief and he almost kissed her then and there—half in hilarity, half with relief.

"This isn't home-home," he chuckled. "This is where we… start our hike," he said carefully.

She frowned. "We have to hike?"

He'd forgotten how skeptical she was of anything "country" as she called it. Oh dear. She was going to find this place very… different.

"It's worth it, I promise," he said.

Now that she was awake he was having trouble containing his joy. His entire body sang with the return to his home, to the clean air and freedom of the valley. No matter what else might happen, he was overjoyed to be there again. And with Sasha! It was literally everything he'd ever wanted. He was still struggling to believe it was actually happening.

At least if he died now, he'd die happy.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, putting a hand to his face. The leather of her gloves was warm and smelled like her and he closed his eyes and put his hand over hers.

"I don't think I've ever been better, Sasha," he said honestly. "Do you think you can stand up, or do you need a minute?"

She made a little irritated noise that he'd forgotten about. He bit back a grin when she yanked her hand back and started pushing to her feet to prove to him that she was more than capable of standing.

He caught her elbow as she got up, just in case. Sometimes the drugs could leave you a little dizzy.

Then she was up, stamping her feet in her boots and brushing off her ass, even though there was nothing on her. He'd kept her curled up in the fur the whole time they'd been here.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded distractedly, still brushing at herself, then she froze and her forehead furrowed. She looked up at him and frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked quickly, scanning the cave for signs of a threat.

Zev reached for Sasha to support her, in case she was going to topple, but she smacked his hand away and shook her head.. "I'm fine," she said, looking at her hands and down at her jacket. "But… how the hell did my clothes get changed?"

 

Chapter 38

Sasha's head snapped up again, her eyes accusing. He put his hands up and tried to look remorseful. He cleared his throat when she continued to glare.

"I didn't look," he said.

Much, he added in her mind. Her lower jaw pushed out.

"Zev!"

"It's so cold here, you needed to be in the right clothes. It was a purely practical thing, I promise! And… and I gave you one of my thermals because I wasn't sure yours were enough."

Her eyes softened for a moment, then her brows pinched together again and her lips pursed.

He'd forgotten how adorable she could be when she was trying to be pissed.

Then, with a suspicious glance at him, she turned on her heel and started towards the light, her boots ringing on the hard-packed floor of the cave.

"Wait, Sasha, you shouldn't just—"

But she stormed around the corner towards the mouth of the cave and he was at risk of losing sight of her. She couldn't be out there alone. So he raced along to catch her, reaching her and swinging into step next to her as they passed through the wide, dim tunnel.

The mouth glowed with a low, blue-white light ahead and she frowned at it, but didn't say anything.

"We can take a look now, but don't leave the cave yet," he whispered. "I need to get our bags and we won't start the hike until you've eaten."

"How long was I asleep?" she asked.

"About nine hours," he said, his stomach tightening. He'd meant for her to sleep about five.

"Nine—?" she stopped mid-step and turned to face him. "Zev, what the hell is going on? Why am I in a cave wearing snow gear?"

"Because, I told you, I brought you home."

"Home? Where is home?"

He smiled. "Home is out there, and it's beautiful." He tipped his head towards the mouth of the cave, his chest finally loosening as it became clear that she hadn't been harmed by the drug, and they were, in fact, here. Together.

She looked at the mouth of the cave, then her lower jaw jutted out and she turned, striding towards it alone.

He stayed back, just a little, to let her get the full effect when she walked out of the cave and to watch her see his home for the first time.

He wasn't disappointed.

As she rounded the final corner and the white-blue light became almost blazing—though it was only very early morning, it seemed very bright after the darkness of the cave—Sasha's mouth dropped open and she stopped dead.

Zev looked out over the land that seemed like it was bred into his bones and took a deep, cleansing breath. They were several hundred feet up the side of the mountain, standing at the mouth of a cave that curled back on the mountainside behind a crag of rocks that left it hidden from view unless you were already practically on top of it. Snow fell lazily and had already carpeted the trees and underbrush anywhere the canopy wasn't thick enough to shield the ground. Below them a deep valley spread wide until it reached the base of another mountain almost a mile away. But in the middle a thick river flowed, hemmed by mossy rocks and clear banks that would turn into lush, grassy patches in the spring.

The birds were just beginning to sing, their twittered songs rising slowly and in pieces as they warmed their voices. Then a breeze rustled through the trees and for a moment after it passed, as if the world held its breath, everything was silent, and glittering under the early morning sun.

Sasha did a slow turn, her eyes darting high and low, taking in all the rugged beauty of his home, and Zev stood next to her feeling as pleased as if he'd made the whole thing himself. He'd always dreamed about bringing her here. He couldn't have been happier unless she'd mated him and born him a babe already.

Then, finally, her progress brought her eyes back to Zev. They were stunned and awed.

So happy that she saw the beauty of his home, he put his hands on her shoulders and smiled down at her. "Welcome to Thana, Sash," he said, his voice betraying his joy.. "I've waited so long to show you."

 

Chapter 39

The look on his face—the sheer joy—sucked her back into that day when she'd given herself to him. The last time she'd seen that expression was afterwards, then they lay curled up in her tiny bed and he was holding her.

"Thana?" she asked stupidly.

He nodded, his eyes sparkling. Then he looked away from her to scan the gorgeous purple-blue, snowcapped mountain across the valley, the forest sprinkled in snow that reminded her of a Christmas scene, and that rushing river on the valley floor.

The place was stunning.

And bracingly cold.

Which was when she realized that Zev had changed his clothes. Instead of the skintight shirt and dark jeans, he was wrapped from head to toe in furs.

His bright blue eyes peered out at her from under a fur hood and when she looked down even his feet were in some kind of boot moccasin made out of animal skin.

With his eyes so wide and flashing that grin, he looked… feral.

He didn't notice how off-balance she suddenly felt, he was too busy staring around them, smiling. "I've wanted to bring you here for so long, Sasha. I can't believe it's finally happening."

"Where is here, exactly?" she asked hesitantly.

He tensed then and it took a minute for him bring his gaze back to hers. "It's… nowhere you're familiar with," he said. "And I can't tell you how to get here because you won't be safe if you know. Just… just trust me, being here makes you as safe as it's possible to be in my world."

Something about the way he said that rang in her ears.

She opened her mouth to ask him exactly what he meant about his world, when a muttered, "Shit!" and the sound of a rock clattering as if it had been dislodged and fallen down the mountain, made them both startle.

Zev whirled to look down the trail from the cave mouth so quickly she didn't even see him move, shoving her behind his back, one arm back to keep her behind him and away from the edge of the fall. He half-crouched, silent and still, watching.

Sasha put a hand to his back, her heart pounding. If whoever was out there could made Zev scared—

"Sorry!" the voice called quietly. A deep voice. Deeper, Sasha thought, than she had ever heard. "Don't be scared. It's only me. And I'm alone. I didn't know you were here. I wasn't going anywhere! I was just stretching my legs!"

Zev's shoulders relaxed and he straightened, shaking his head. "Yhet?"

A head appeared from behind a tree that hugged the trail down the mountain, then a hand that waved.

Sasha didn't breathe. Something was wrong. That tree was huge and this man… it had to be a trick of the perspective… the trail leading down and the tree growing up—

Then the man stepped out into the trail and Sasha's mouth dropped open.

He was the largest man she'd ever seen. He had to be over seven feet, maybe even eight. His eyes were a warm, light brown, almost gold, while his hair that had once obviously been brown was turning gray. He wore it in thick sideburns that pushed out from his face like tiny hedges, thick and wild to match the thatch of hair on his head that seemed to grow in every direction.

When he waved, his hand was the size of a dinner plate. He gave a beaming smile and his teeth, though square, were so large she was reminded of the time she'd watched a horse yawn.

"What the…" Sasha breathed.

"Zev?" the man said, his bushy eyebrows climbing high. "You're back? Holy shit! Zev!"

Zev raced the short distance down the trail to throw himself into the arms of the huge man and they hugged like family.

But Sasha felt faint.

Zev was massive. Well over six feet tall and broad and muscular with it. He always made her feel tiny—which she kind of liked. But this man…

Zev's head didn't even reach his shoulder. And he was so broad—though clearly in good shape, his massive shoulders tapering down to what, for him, must have been a trim waist, though he dwarfed Zev.

The two men stepped back then, clapped each other's shoulders, and Zev almost fell over with the force of the man's thump.

"It's so good to see you, Yhet!" Zev said, his eyes shining and cheeks pinched into high rounds by the size of his smile.

"You too, Zev, you too. I have to say, I didn't expect to find you out here! How long has it been?"

A shadow passed behind Zev's eyes, then. "Three years," he said, and his smile died. "I'm so sorry, Yhet, it was—"

"Ah, don't worry, don't worry," the massive older man said, waving his huge hand as if to shoo off a fly. "Just don't tell the others I was out here. I wasn't going anywhere! I was just walking."

Zev cut the man a look, but his smile came back as he shook his head. "Well, whatever, Yhet, it's just really, really good to see you, man."

"You too, you too. And… and who's your friend?" Yhet asked, finally turning his golden eyes to Sasha, whose stomach twisted in fear when the huge man approached, scanning her from head to toe. Then his nostrils flared and his smile faded.. "Zev…. You brought a human?"

 

Chapter 40

A deep growl—below the level of Sasha's hearing—began in Yhet's chest and Zev rushed forward to put himself between Sasha and the huge Chimera.

Yhet was sweet-natured and innocent, much like a child most of the time. The sasquatch were very long lived, and late to mature. Yhet was fifty years old, yet treated Zev like an older brother. Of all the Chimera, he was probably the very best for Sasha to meet first, because the sasquatch were always curious, and hard to anger. Very rarely violent.

But Yhet had lost his mate to the human researchers five years earlier, right before Zev had come home. Even though he hadn't yet started wasting away, the sasquatch's emotions were—by their standards—perilously close to the surface.

"Yhet," he said cautiously, one hand up in front of the male whose eyes hadn't left Sasha, "listen to me, this is Sasha. I brought Sasha home."

The growl stopped as if it had been cut off. A moment later those eyebrows rose again and Yhet gaped at Zev. "Sasha? Your Sasha? Are you true, Zev?"

Zev couldn't stop the grin. "I'm true, Yhet. She's here."

"It is so wonderful to smell you, Sasha!" Yhet said, plowing forward to pull her into a hug.

"Yhet!" Zev tried to catch him. But he was a loving soul.

To Sasha's credit, when Yhet's thick arms embraced her, though her eyes went very wide, she didn't run. And he did at least remember not to lift her off the ground.

He didn't, however, remember not to pet her hair.

"Yhet," Zev said through his teeth, "That's not polite, remember?"

"Oh! Sorry," Yhet said, pulling his hands back. "I always forget which customs are human and which aren't."

"It's okay," Sasha said faintly.

Zev shifted to place himself between them again, putting a soothing hand back to take Sasha's and squeeze.

"Remember," he muttered to Yhet, "Look and listen to humans. Smell and touch Chimera."

Yhet nodded quickly, but Zev sighed. He would forget again before the researchers came back. Zev was just grateful Sasha hadn't screamed and run. So many of the research humans did the first time they saw Yhet. He was sensitive about it.

Since he'd left Thana and been working in the human world, Zev had had more contact with the researchers and learned that, among them, meeting Yhet was an initiation.

The researchers were the ones who'd found Thana and determined that this beautiful world would become their wildlife sanctuary—except for human-made Chimera.

They tried to interfere as little as possible in the lives of those living here, but they visited every season to run a census, treat medical conditions and, as Zev had learned, to take those that were considered appropriate for whatever experimentation they were running, or to bring new Chimera who needed time to grow and strengthen.

Just as Zev had, most Chimera grew up in Thana.

But as he had become more involved in the work in the human world, and more trusted, the researchers and handlers had become more open with Zev about how they viewed Thana. He'd learned that when a new researcher was hired for the team, they were always included in the next trip to Thana. The senior handlers would make sure they weren't warned about Yhet, but when they reached this rugged world, the staffer would be encouraged to plow forward and explore—which meant, inevitably, they would be found by Yhet before they reached the City since the male rarely stayed in one place for longer than an hour, and the valley wasn't large enough for him. He had a nose like a bloodhound and strides so long his brisk walk covered a mile in under four minutes. He generally crossed Thana at least twice a day. Four if he ran.

Zev could sense the ground trembling for quarter of a mile when he did that.

The huge Chimera's face was flushed red with excitement and his cheeks pressed almost into points, he smiled so broadly. "I am so happy that you're back, Zev. And with Sasha! What a gift! When did you tell Xar? He's kept it very quiet. Did the Creators let you—"

"Um, no. Yhet," Zev said softly.

The Sasquatch cut off and his smile faded. "Oh no… Zev… does Xar know you're here?"

"No," he said, eyeing Yhet and sliding his gaze back towards Sasha in a caution not to speak about it in front of her. "I gather that means that Xar took Alpha when I left?" Interesting. Not surprising. But interesting. "Yhet, you can't tell anyone, but Nick tried to take her, so I brought her here to keep her safe."

Yhet's tall forehead pinched into lines and his hands clenched. "Oh, dear. Oh, Zev."

"I know, I know, but it's okay. She'll be safe here. I will keep her safe, but… just in case… if I'm ever not around or, or busy, can you help me?"

"Of course! Of course!"

"Thank you, brother. But just remember: you don't tell anyone that I told you Nick tried to take her, okay? We'll keep that from the others. I don't want to make them nervous."

"Nervous?" Sasha asked from behind him. "I thought those people weren't here. Isn't that why we came?"

Yhet's smile froze on his face and his eyes slowly rolled to Zev, who would have laughed if he wasn't terrified the male was going to say the wrong thing and freak Sasha out. Yhet was so huge, everything he did was big. Moments like this, he usually thought he was being subtle.

Zev bit back a smile and patted the male on his steel bicep that was thicker than Zev's thigh. Then he turned to Sasha.

"I didn't say they were never here. I said you'd be safe here. And you will be. Because the team don't come very often, and when they do, we'll take you out of the City. They never leave the established trails because there's a lot of things in the forest here that were… failures of their previous attempts to blend humans and animals. None of the researchers want to run into those creatures, trust me."

"But… I'm human?" Sasha said faintly.

"Yes, but not of one those that—"

"Um, Zev?" Yhet said hesitantly. Yhet usually needed more caution than he displayed, so that got Zev's attention immediately.

"What is it, Yhet?" he said quickly, turning to the male, every part of him tensed and ready to meet the unseen enemy that had to be behind his friend's suddenly fearful scent.

"You don't know about the City?" Yhet said carefully, his eyes snapping back and forth between Sasha and Zev.

Zev went very still. "What's wrong with the City?"