Ch. 196..200: The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 196-200
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 196
Jane
My dreams are deep and hazy. When I wake, I can’t remember any of them. They slip through my fingers like water, and I’m left wondering how I fell asleep in the first place. The last thing I remember, I called Ethan to tell him Paisley was missing.
Paisley! I j3rk up, rising to a sitting position on the rest stop couch where I’ve apparently been napping. I frantically look around the room, searching for my pups, but especially my youngest. When I don’t see them, I push myself to my feet, stumbling out into the brisk daylight. As soon as I walk outside, I see Devon and Ethan standing over a puppy pile. Parker, Riley, and Ryder are on the ground, curled up around their sister – giggling and wrestling.
As soon as I see Paisley, I’m crying. Why do I feel like I’ve been crying a lot today? I don’t even remember most of the morning.
“Paisley!” I exclaim, rushing to join the pile. I drop to my knees in front of them, untangling Paisley from her siblings and dragging her into my arms, before welcoming the others to join us.
“Mommy!” The sweet pup cries, wrapping her plump arms around my neck. I rock back and forth, weeping into her neck and k!ssing every inch of skin I can reach. Only once she’s been thoroughly smothered, do I offer my other babies the same affection, squeezing them all so tightly they begin to complain. “You scared me half to death!” I tell Paisley, ignoring Parker and Riley’s attempts to wriggle free from our hug ball.
“I’m sorry, Mommy.” She professes, tears swimming in her beautiful eyes. “I didn’ wanna scare you. I just wanted Daddy so bad.”
“I know, angel.” I murmur, hating to know how badly she’s hurting. “I know you’re having a hard time right now. I am too, but you can’t run away from me. You can’t put yourself in danger that way.”
“Jane.” I look up to see Ethan looking down at us, a pained grimace on his face. “We need to talk.”
Oh Goddess, not another scolding. He was helpful earlier when I called him, and he clearly found Paisley like he promised, but now she’s safe I’m almost certain I’ve got an earful coming my way.
I’m not ready to hear what a terrible mother I am again, I don’t need to be reminded.
“Do we have to?” I inquire softly, still cuddling my babies.
“Yes.” He answers gently, glancing at Devon.”
Devon can watch the pups in the meantime.”
My arms tighten around the children reflexively.
There’s no way in hell I’m letting them go after everything that’s happened today. In fact, I don’t think I’m ever going to let them out of my sight.
My wolf growls in agreement. Forget school and play dates… who really needs education or socialization? I’ll keep my pups safe at home until they’re grown. They’ll never be without my protection again, and even after they’re grown…
“They’ll be okay, Jane.” Ethan assures me, keeping his voice low and even as he interrupts my thoughts. “No one is ever going to run away, ever again – right?” He adds, directing his words to the pups.
They all nod their heads in agreement, staring up at me solemnly. “We promise.”
“I don’t know.” I argue, still clutching them. “Can’t we talk here?”
Seeming to realize my wolf won’t let me budge, Ethan gently overpowers me, pulling the pups from my stranglehold and lifting me onto my feet.
Come on Mama bear, it’ll be okay.”
I keep glancing back over my shoulder to the spot where my children remain with Devon, unable to calm my inner animal. The sun is setting at their backs, and I realize how much time has passed since I realized Paisley was gone this morning. I must have slept all afternoon. “I– what happened?” I ask anxiously. “The last thing I remember, I was on the phone with you.”
Ethan goes very still, “Which time?”
I blink, unable to make any sense of this. “Did we speak more than once?”
He relaxes slightly. “After you called to tell me about Paisley, you had an episode.”
“An episode?” I repeat, stunned and wracking my brains for any memory of this. “What, like a seizure?”
“No, like PTSD.” Ethan corrects me softly. “You thought we were back in the city when the traffickers first took the pups. You didn’t know where you were or what was happening.”
It takes a moment for my brain to process these facts. My thoughts immediately jump to Riley, Ryder and Parker. “But the pups were with me.”
“They were, and they were very distressed to see you so upset.” He confirms, sending a stab of guilt straight through me. I’m trying to picture the scene we must have made – me having a mental breakdown in front of my four year olds. But I can’t remember any of it, how can I not remember?
“They must have been terrified, I have to talk to them, I have to explain!” I’m already turning back, but Ethan catches me.
“I already explained, Jane. And Devon was there.
He tried to help you through it but eventually he called me and I convinced you to take a sleeping pill.” He shares, looking very grave indeed.
I’m shaking my hand, my palm clamped over my mouth. I can’t believe I fell to pieces that way – at a time when my daughter was missing and my other pups needed me to be strong, I was a blubbering mess. Shame and guilt battle for dominance over my senses, and I feel my body crumpling. I’m bending at the waist, trying to remember how to breathe and praying that Devon is distracting the pups from seeing me this way.
Seeming to read my thoughts, Ethan comes around to my side, sliding an arm around my waist and supporting me before I can collapse. “How has it come to this?” I gasp, “This isn’t me! I’m not this weak woman who falls to pieces at the first sign of adversity!”
“You’ve been through a lot.” Ethan reminds me – as if I could forget. “And you’re pregnant. You’re even more vulnerable than usual. Besides, it isn’t weak to bear scars from your traumas – if anything it shows you’ve survived against all the odds.” He guides me around a corner, out of sight from Devon and our pups.”You need to cut yourself some slack.”
What? I think, truly baffled now. Is this the same man who’s been telling me I’m not fit to be a mother and I need to blame myself for everything that’s gone wrong lately? Has he actually lost his mind, or is there something else going on here, some reason he’s trying to butter me up?
I weave in a shaking breath, suspicion welling up inside me. “Why are you being nice to me?” I inquire, narrowing my eyes at him. “What else has happened, what aren’t you telling me?”
“I’m not trying to appease you, I’m just being honest.” Ethan grits out, though there’s something oddly severe about his features, something that tells me I’m not far off base.
“Where did you find Paisley, what happened afterwards?” I demand, needing to know whether or not the details I’m missing are to do with some new horror my daughter survived.
“She was sound asleep in the back of a tourist’s car”
Ethan shares. “I found her at the border, and scolded her soundly for running away.”
“Is that all?” I press.
“No.” He sighs. “We talked, but she was far from repentant. In fact, she dug in her little heels and told me point blank she wasn’t giving up. The bottom line is that Paisley is determined to stay with me, and she’s insisting that she’ll keep running away until we let her.”
“She’s only four,” I m0an, hating every second of this. “She just needs time.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Ethan argues. “And I’m not sure we can risk being wrong. She was okay this time, but she might not be so lucky next time.
She’s a stubborn little thing, and if she keeps trying to come back to me, we could lose her for good.”
“Well short of locking her up and praying that time will heal her, I don’t know what to do about it.” I confess, on the verge of tears just thinking about this.
“I don’t want to lock her up.” Ethan remarks, all but snarling.
“Then tell me, Ethan.” I snipe, letting all my bitterness seep into my tone. “What am I supposed to do? You’re the one who put us in this situation, so tell me – how am I supposed to make this better when you’re the only one who can?”
“What if I changed my mind?” Ethan asks, looking uncertain. “What if I agreed to keep her?”
I blink, “What are you saying?”
Ethan gazes down at me, all imposing power and Alpha authority.”I’m saying, I think we should go back to the way things were before. You keep Ryder, Parker and Riley, and I’ll keep Paisley.”
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 197
Jane
“I.. what?” I stutter, wondering if this is another fever dream, or if Ethan actually just suggested splitting our children up again.
“We have to accept the reality of our situation, Jane.” Ethan continues, pursing his lips. I barely contain the impulse to scoff – he has some nerve saying this to me, as if I haven’t been coping with the fallout of his reckless decisions for months now. “Paisley isn’t going to stop running away, so the only thing I know to do is to keep her with me so she won’t have anywhere to run.”
“But everything is different now!” I insist, my l*p trembling at the very thought of giving up my daughter. “We can’t just pretend like we never met. She’s unhappy being away from you at the moment, but what happens when she starts missing me and the other pups. You want to keep them apart for the rest of their lives?”
“No, of course not.” Ethan sighs. “I think we give her the choice. And whoever she picks, she can always see the other for visits, even full holidays.’
“You know perfectly well shell choose you!” I accuse, wondering what bothers me more knowing she likes Ethan better, or knowing it’s my own fault.
“But I just got her back.” I argue weakly, knowing this isn’t really a good excuse to make my child miserable. “We hardly had any time together before the kidnapping, and half of that was spent in hospitals or playing games with you. I’ve been waiting for her for years.”
“I know that.” Ethan frowns, looking very severe.
And I hate to say it, but I think this is the price of that decision. She wants me, because she doesn’t know you.”
I want to scream that this isn’t fair. He knows I never felt like I had a choice in leaving her. He knows that he’s forbidden me to stay in the NightFang pack.”So you’ll change your mind about keeping her, but you won’t change your mind about letting me stay – about the other pups?”
Ethan’s features harden, and I know his answer before he ever opens his mouth. “I’m only putting this on the table because she’ll kill herself trying to get back to me otherwise. This isn’t what I wanted.”
“Leaving her wasn’t what I wanted either.” I hiss. “I was trying to ensure she survived too, I was trying to protect them all the best way I knew how.”
“Paisley knows that. But it doesn’t change the fact that she spent all those years without a mother.”
Ethan sighs, looking as though he might truly possess some empathy for my plight – assuming such a thing was possible.
“But this has been my plan from day one, this was always the plan.” I murmur uselessly. I will never regret the choice I made to leave Paisley in Ethan’s care, if I hadn’t she never would have survived. But this isn’t the way it was supposed to work out Ethan laughs humorlessly. ” Jane, if anyone understands what it’s like to make plans for your children, only to have everything backfire because kids have minds of their own, it’s me.” I flinch, not because his statement is harsh, but because it rings with so much honesty that I feel sick again.
As parents, we try our best, but the sign of being a good mother or father is raising independent, free thinking pups. We can’t be angry with Paisley for living up to our expectations.”
“But I want her.”I say in a small voice, feeling very silly now. Tears are spilling from my eyes, and I’m shocked to feel one of Ethan’s strong arms come around me. I try to lean into him, to bury my face in his neck and cry myself out in his comforting embrace – the way I used to. Instead he holds me at arms’ length, offering only the barest sympathy for my emotional distress. “I want all my babies.”
She’s mine! I think bitterly, I shared her long enough.
“You’ll have Parker, Ryder and Riley.” Ethan promises. “And you’ll have the new baby too.
Besides, this isn’t the end. I’ll make sure Paisley can visit you and the other pups as often as she wants”
“You won’t visit with her?” I clarify, wondering if I’m asking for myself or my pups. At present, the other pups don’t want anything to do with Ethan, though that might change. My wolf on the other hand, she’s still praying he’ll wake up and realize what a fool he’s been to reject us and that’s far more likely to happen if we remain near one another.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ethan hedges, still patting my back as if I’m a stranger, and not the woman he was vowing to love to the ends of the earth a few months ago.
I nod briskly, stepping away from him. “I need a few minutes… before we ask her.”
Ethan eyes me worriedly. “I’m not sure you should be on your own right now.”
“Goddess Ethan, I just want to pull myself together, I’m not going to do anything desperate.” I counter, roling my eyes and wondering how he manages to be so impossible. It seems like everytime I want him he pushes me away, but the moment I desire time to myself he’s on me like glue.
“That isn’t what I meant.” Ethan admonishes, raking his eyes over me with obvious worry.”
You’re just not very steady on your feet yet.”
“I’m fine.” I insist, pushing him away. I stalk into the women’s room, bending over the sink and fighting the urge to scream out all my overflowing emotions. The last thing I need is for Ethan to think I’m even more unstable than he already does. I count to ten, then I count to twenty, taking deep breaths all the time. At a certain point I decide that there’s no way to prepare myself for losing my daughter again. I just have to brace myself and rip the bandaid off.
When I finally emerge, with my shoulders set and a deternmined grimace on my face, Ethan asks. “Are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever me.”I mutter – as if anything could be ready for this.
He calls the pups over, and they approach us hesitantly. Paisley immediately asks to be picked up, lifting her arms to me in silent request and all but breaking my heart in two. I promptly scoop her up, cuddling her close and trying not to burst into fresh sobs.
What if this is the last time I ever get to hold her?
“Pups, we have something we want to ask you.”
Ethan begins, sounding almost as nervous as I feel.
“We want you all to be safe and happy, but at the same time, we understand that the right thing for some of you, might not be the right thing for all of you.
“Mommy, what’s he saying?” Parker asks me, eyeing Ethan suspiciously. Of all my pups, Parker has been the wariest of Ethan since learning of his rejection.
“He’s saying that we’re going to give you a choice.”
I explain, knowing that my three oldest won’t hesitate to come home with me, and feeling no danger of giving them all the same option we’re offering Paisley. “You can come home with me, or you can go back and live in the Nightfang pack with your Daddy. Of course I hope we can all stay together,”I continue, pulling back so I can look Paisley in the eye, “but I understand if you want to be with Ethan.”
Paisley is starting up at me with wide, shining eyes, no doubt a mirror image of my own. “I’ve been dreaming of you so long, Mommy.” She tells me, “All I ever wanted was to have a Mommy of my own.”
“I know, angel.” I confide, even though I hate hearing how she pined for me. “I was dreaming of you too.”
“And I loves you more than anything.” Paisley adds, “And I loves my brothers and sisters. But I think needs to be with Daddy.”
“Paisley you can’t!” Riley objects, tugging on her sister’s leg to get her attention, “you’re s’posed to be with us!”
“It’s okay, Riley.” I whisper.
“But we only just mets! And we’re going to have a new baby soon!” Ryder interjects, coming forward as well.
“It won’t be goodbye forever.” I advise, my breath shaky, “just until we can visit again.”
“But when will that be?” Parker inquires, his face crinkled in displeasure. “You can’t suspect us to go very long without seeing Paisley. She’s one of us.”
“She can visit as often as you like.” Ethan promises, meeting Parker’s gaze with a stern promise. “But the most important thing is that she’s safe. And she won’t be as long as she keeps trying to run back to me.”
“I don’t like this.” Riley objects.
“Me neither!” The boys confirm.
“Well I’ll be honest, I don’t want to be away from your sister myself, but we have to do what’s best for everyone.” I confess. “So Paisley, is this your decision, to stay with your Daddy?”
She looks up at me, and I feel as though my entire world hangs in the balance as she opens her mouth to reply.
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 198
Jane
Watching Ethan drive away with Paisley just about destroyed me. When she answered my question, informing us all that she did indeed want to stay with her father, I tried to hide how badly it hurt me. I think I did an admirable job covering my emotions, until of course Parker, Ryder and Riley threw a collective fit. We’d only just gotten them calmed down when Ethan announced it was time to go, and then Paisley was sobbing and clinging to me and the other pups. It seems that however certain she felt about her decision, actually saying goodbye was another matter entirely.
Finally Ethan scooped her up and carried her away, apparently deciding that if he waited until we were all done crying – they would never be able to leave. So I watched my youngest, precious daughter disappear into the distance, until Ethan’s car finally passed over the horizon and vanished from sight. Getting my remaining pups back into the car to complete our own journey had been easy after that, and their dramatic protests had drained energy so well that they quickly fell asleep.
“What do I do now?” I ask Devon, glancing into the back seat of the car to ensure the other pups are still out cold.
“You put one foot in front of the other.” He answers, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “And you keep doing that until you no longer have to think about it. One day soon you’ll be running at top speed, and this will all be a bad memory.”
“I did that once before” I remind him. “But in my experience bad memories don’t always stay in the past.”
“That’s true.” He acknowledges, glancing at me meaningfully, at the small hand still cradled in his.
“But things that were negative at one time of your life can be positive in another. And if you live in constant fear of your past then you’ll always be a slave to it. You don’t want to live that way, Jane.
And you don’t want that for your pups either.”
“Can I ask you something?” I press, my curiosity about the years we spent apart growing.
“Of course.” He agrees easily.
“How did you move on when you left the Nightfang pack?” I inquire, trying to picture what it had been like for him. Granted, I left too, but I’d never been able to move on because of Paisley. I left a piece of my heart behind, and now… well now I’m doing it again. I suppose I’ll never be truly whole again, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try.
“You mean move on from my old life, or move on from you?” Devon clarifies, watching me out of the corner of his eye while he navigates the winding roads.
“Both.”I reply, trying not to feel too guilty. I still can’t believe he left because of me.
“Well, moving on from my old life was difficult, but I took it one day at a time, and eventually enough time passed and I found enough happiness in my new pack that I stopped missing my old life. I think I’ll always be nostalgic for the nightfang pack, but I left when I was so young that I didn’t really figure out who I was until later. You on the other hand… I’m not sure I ever actually got over you, Janey.”
“So all that stuff you were saying about not being a slave to your past?” I question, the corner of my mouth twitching up.
“Hey, just because I can’t take my own advice, doesn’t mean it’s not good.” He chuckles warmly.
“Fair enough.” I laugh, dragging my fingers through my hair.
We’re quiet then, the wintery landscape speeding by the windows growing cold and more bleak the further north we travel. Dead grass and barren trees are gradually replaced by snow banks and evergreens, and I wonder if I’m doomed to be like Devon. I can leave the NightFang pack behind, I can come to terms with being away from Paisley, but can I ever get over Ethan? Can I ever truly move on, or am I doomed to pine for him for the rest of my life? Is he the last man I’ll ever love, the last man who will ever touch me? Is the r0mantic part of my life already over – before I’ve even reached 30?
Suddenly I can see the girl I once was, the teenager who fell in love with a man well above her station and somehow found the bravery to marry him. She would be ashamed of me for thinking this way, for letting a man steal her strength and break her spirit. I think of my daughters too, of the example I want to set for them not as a woman who falls down and is too afraid to get back up again, but as a woman who is stronger for her Scars, and has the courage to live, not just survive.
“I don’t want to be ruled by my past.” I tell Devon, still staring thoughtfully out the windows. “I’ve been letting my pain control me for too long, I’ve let Ethan twist and contort me into someone I don’t recognize.. and I’m not going to do it anymore. I want to find a way to be happy.”
“There’s the Jane I know.” Devon smiles over at me, a look of pride filling his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for her to turn up.”
“I think I keep forgetting that just because things are good for a while, or bad for a while – it doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way. Nothing lasts forever. You have to work for the life you want, every single day. And I don’t know how to do that yet, I don’t know where to find that endurance.” I confess.
Devon nods, as if he not only understands what I mean, but feels it too. “Then I’ll help you.”
When we get home, the pups run upstairs, and I’m struck by how different this is from the last time we returned from the Nightfang pack. Now instead of tantrums and tears, my children are thrilled to see our familiar apartment. They tear through the front door, immediately letting Mr. Fluff out of his travel carrier and giving him a tour of his new home. That’s one detail that slipped my mind when we said goodbye to Paisley, I didn’t even consider the bunny until they were long gone. I have to call Ethan about getting Paisley another pet. I wonder if it’s even occurred to her yet that choosing Ethan meant leaving the fuzzball behind.
Devon graciously carts our luggage inside, complimenting the cozy space where I raised my babies. It is comforting to be back here, in this place that’s filled with so many memories of their young lives. It still doesn’t feel right without Paisley, but as long as my children are happy, I can make our lives here as full and bright as they were before Ethan came along and ruined everything again. I deposit a huge pile of mail on the table recalling the exasperated look our doorman gave me when we entered the building. He’d shoved the stack into my hands before I had a chance to look at it, but now I notice there’s a thick envelope from my bank.
Finding a letter opener, I slice it open and extract the papers within, expecting some dull notifications about policy changes or account maintenance. Instead, my jaw drops to the floor.
“Oh my god.” I exclaim, scanning the letter.
“What’s wrong?” Devon inquires coming to my side.
“This says my mortgage was paid off – in full.” I share, showing him the documents. “It has to be a mistake, I had fifteen years left on the payment plan.” It’s true that I could have paid it off early, if I wanted to drain my personal savings account.
However I’d never felt secure enough to take such a risk. It was more important to me to have money in the bank in case of emergencies, than to throw millions of dollars at an apartment we might not even stay in.
“It’s addressed to you, Jane.” Devon confirms. “And it lists this address and apartment number as the property. You might not have paid off the mortgage, but someone did.”
“How is that possible?” I question, completely baffled. “I mean I know a few people wealthy enough – Ethan included. But the only ones with both the money and the generosity to do something like this would be Eric and Linda. And even then this is way overboard!”
“You should call them and find out.” Devon suggests, his brow furrowing. “I’m surprised the bank didn’t list a payee.”
I’ve already moved on to the next letter, out of habit more than anything else. However the second letter is as shocking as the first. It’s a notification claiming I’ve won a contest I’m certain I never entered. You won! The bold text reads,
Congratulations, your vouchers for a year of free spa visits are inside.
“What on earth is happening?” I mutter in astonishment. I mean, I suppose this is something that I might have randomly entered a lottery for and forgotten about, or perhaps a raggle from some corporate event, but I certainly didn’t put any effort into entering a contest like this.
Devon looks over my shoulder, reading the notice with raised brows. “Wow. It looks like your luck is finally turning around, Janey.”
The next letter is even stranger, a confirmation from a prepaid cleaning service promising to arrive every Friday for the foreseeable future and clean my house from top to bottom. My heart is beginning to race, and I’m wondering if this is some sort of wonderful dream. No more mortgage, spa visits, people to clean my house for me- it’s like Christmas has come all over again and Santa decided to spoil me absolutely rotten. “Am I hallucinating?”
Devon shakes his head, “I promise this is real.”
“I don’t understand.” I’m smiling now, so widely that my cheeks hurt. “How is any of this possible?”
Devon laughs, slinging his arm over my shoulders and giving me a squeeze. “Come on, you know what they say – don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. You deserve some pampering, just accept it.”
I giggle, I actually giggle like a school girl and jump up and down, calling out to the pups. “Kids, get your Coats! We’re going out to celebrate!”
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 199
Ethan
“Ethan, if you’re going to do a bunch of grand gestures for Jane and make us take credit for them, you could at least warn us!” Linda scolds over the phone. “I mean the photo album was one thing, but now you’ve really taken it too far.
Honestly, her mortgage?”
“I assumed you would just tell her Eric feels so guilty for deceiving her all those years that he’s going overboard.” I reply.
“I did, but you have to admit it seems like a bit much – even for him!” Linda replies.
“Besides I’m not expecting you to take credit for everything – Devon agreed to say the babysitting service and personal gifts are from him.” I supply, smiling at the she-wolf’s indignation.
“And her company’s stock portfolio?” Linda gripes, “how are you going to explain that one?”
“Angel investors.” I answer easily. “It’s not like that’s out of the realm of possibilities after all – La Louve is the most profitable fragrance company on the market, any number of hedge funds would be thrilled to invest.”
“You know that this is crazy, right?” Linda grouses.
“She would so much rather have you, Ethan. Not to mention Paisley.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve heard all this from Matthew and Devon already.” I inform her stubbornly. “But I’ve made up my mind. I want the best for my family, and that’s not me.”
Linda sighs, a heavy, beleaguered sound that makes it clear she thinks I’m being completely unreasonable. “Are there any updates on your condition?” She asks after a moment. “I mean is the prognosis still terrible?”
“My doctors just told me about a potential surgery.”
I relate, somewhat reluctantly. “It’s risky, and if it goes wrong I could end up worse off than before. “
“Risky how?” Linda clarifies.
“Well there’s still so much fluid compressing my spinal cord that any surgery would apparently be very difficult because they can’t actually see my nerve pathways. If they knick the wrong thing then my paralysis could become truly permanent, or more extensive than it already is.” I explain.
And then I truly would have a death sentence.”
“But I thought the braces were helping you?” Linda responds, trying to understand. “Didn’t they tell you that the more you keep your body moving, the more the swelling would decrease? Is it possible to keep up the physical therapy so the swelling decreases enough to make the surgery more viable?”
“Maybe.” I confirm. “And I think that’s what I have to do anyway – I might be willing to risk the surgery if things were more stable with the pack, or if I was in worse condition. If I started to really lose it then I might attempt it anyway – because at that point I wouldn’t be doing the pack or Paisley any good by waiting. Luckily having Paisley here is helping my wolf stay calm.”
“I still can’t believe that Jane let her go.” Linda laments. “She must be heartbroken.”
“She was pretty devastated,’ I share grimly. “But it won’t be forever. If I don’t find a way to get better Paisley will be back with Jane and the other pups within the year.” I can practically hear Linda wince. She hates listening to me talk about my possible death so matter-of-factly, but I don’t see any benefit in ignoring reality. That won’t help anyone.
“Aren’t you afraid of having her around when you’re in this state?” Linda presses.
“Yes, but she really didn’t give us an option. She’s a stubborn little thing.” I remark, unable to keep a hint of pride out of my voice.
“She’s her father’s daughter.” Linda counters dryly, taking a moment to let her words sink in. “How’s she holding up?”
“She misses them.” I relate, “but it gets a little easier every day, and they talk on the phone constantly.”
“Good.” Linda breathes. “You’ll let me know if you need anything?”
“Yes.” I promise.
“And you’ll warn me before you decide to -I don’t know, buy Jane a castle and sign my name on the card?” She adds, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You have my word.” I laugh. “Bye Linda.”
After I hang up, I finish getting ready for the day, drop Paisley off at school and head for the pack headquarters. However when I arrive, I find Matthew waiting outside my office, looking very nervous indeed. Things have been tense between us lately. He understands my determination to do right by the pack and my family with whatever time I have left, but I know he disagrees with me about what “right” is. The closest we came to actually being on the same page is when I decided to bring Paisley home.
“Is everything alright?” I ask, my heart skipping a beat. My immediate thought is of Jane and the pups; has something happened? Am l just jumping to conclusions?
Matthew pales when he sees me, and my suspicions increase. Oh Goddess, what is it. He slowly rises from his armchair. “I have to tell you something, and I need you to be calm when I do.”
It speaks volumes that Matthew is still afraid of my temper despite my paralysis, but I hate the trepidation on his face. “Why, what’s wrong?” I demand. As strange as it seems, the scent of Matthew’s fear calms me slightly, telling me this isn’t about delivering bad news, but something else entirely.
“I did something.” Matthew confesses vaguely.
And you’re not going to like it.”
I narrow my eyes, feeling as though I’m on a roller coaster of emotion. Worried then calm, now near panicked that Matthew might have betrayed my confidence. “What? What did you do?”
“Ethan,” Matthew begins, raising his palms in supplication. “You’ve been doing so much better lately, but you’re still trying to do everything on your own and it simply isn’t working. You were a different man when Jane was here, and I understand why you couldn’t let her Stay, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get help from someone else.”
“Matthew, what did you do?” I snap, not liking the direction this is taking one bit.
“I called Nina.” Matthew’s voice is barely audible, but I heard him loud and clear.
“Nina?” I repeat, aghast. “As in-?”
“As in, your fated mate.” Matthew confirms. “I’ve been tracking her ever since you two met all those years ago – just in case. I thought if you wouldn’t let Jane help you, you might let her.”
“Have you lost your mind?” I thunder. “What part of “the people closest to me are in the most danger’ don’t you understand? Moreover, what in the Goddess’s name makes you think I can trust this woman? I met her for two hours almost a decade ago – for all you know she’ll betray my secret to the entire pack!”
“Oh come off it!” Matthew grumbles back. “She wouldn’t have any motive to do that. If she cares for you, she’ll want to help. If she doesn’t, she’ll either go away or she’ll stick around to take advantage of your status like Eve. Either way you spin it, she benefits from keeping the secret.”
“I can’t believe you did this without talking to me first!” I hiss, groaning as my wolf tries to break free.
“You would have stopped me!” Matthew shouts, raising his voice at me for the first time in my memory. “You aren’t yourself right now, Ethan.
You were f*****g suicidal a few weeks ago and as thrilled as I am that you’ve turned things around, I don’t trust you not to go down that path again if things take a turn for the worse! I can’t just stand by and watch you suffer without trying everything I can to help you. Not as your Beta and certainly not as your friend. It will be good for you and Paisley both.”
“I don’t care!” I roar, feeling beyond betrayed.
Matthew has never defied me this way.”You didn’t have any right! I ought to remove you from your position.”
“I had every right!” Matthew combats. “I have served you loyally since we were eighteen years old and I have been your best friend for another ten years on top of that! If anyone has the right to give you a kick in the p*nts when your stubborn as-s deserves it, it’s me. And we both know you aren’t going to fire me- you might want to, but if I’m gone you’ll have to trust someone else with your secret and we both know there’s no one as loyal to you as I am.”
“Fine, I won’t fire you.” I grit out, pacing awkwardly in my braces. “Just undo it.” I order. “Whatever it takes, call her back and tell her not to come.”
“You don’t understand” Matthew states grimly, shaking his head. “This didn’t just happen. I called her the other day.”
“What are you saying?” I demand fiercely.
“I’m saying that she’s already here.” Matthew confesses, glancing towards my closed office, “and she’s right on the other side of those doors.
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 200
Ethan
I can’t believe this.
I haven’t seen Nina in years. We met once when Jane and I were first married. She was traveling through the territory with her family, and though our wolves had recognized each other immediately, I’d never been interested in anyone but Jane. My bond with Nina felt more like encountering a long lost friend or sibling – it wasn’t anything like the overpowering need that consumed me any time I was near Jane.
In all honesty I don’t know how Nina had felt about the situation – I never gave her the chance to tell me. I merely explained that I was already mated and I wished her the best. Matthew was there of course, and I even understand him keeping tabs on her in the meantime. It makes sense – if she ended up mated to an Alpha and they found out who I was, they might be a threat to me. I know I would feel compelled to destroy any fated mate of Janes – purely for existing.
However the idea that Matthew had called her after all this time, brought her here when I nearing the end of my life.. I can’t even comprehend this. I understand his thought process, but I cannot accept or forgive it. His heart might have been in the right place, but he crossed a line and he knows it.
I’m still staring at the door to my office, and now that I scent the air, it seems so obvious that Nina is here. I remember her scent as if it was yesterday. Where Jane is sweetness and sunshine incarnate, all soft florals and gentle amber, Nina is bolder, spicier and woodier.
She’s a more dominant wolf to be sure, another Alpha and born leader, but she isn’t my little wolf.
I give Matthew one last glare before storming into my office, stopping dead in my tracks when I see Nina. She stands when I enter, offering me a soft smile. She’s tall, lean and lovely – with raven hair, caramel skin and rich chocolatey eyes. Only a blind man would think she isn’t beautiful, but she isn’t my type. My type is pint- sized, blonde and with eyes like the forest – so fair that I can see even the slightest of her blushes painting her skin pink.
“You shouldn’t be here.” I say by way of greeting, my voice as rough as gravel.
Nina arches a finely sculpted brow. “Well hello to you too.” She quips.
My wolf rumbles uncertainly in my chest. He’s always been crazy about Jane and I don’t think he has any true interest in Nina, but he still doesn’t like me showing our mate such disrespect. “Tm sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. “
“There’s no need to explain” Nina tells me, seeming entirely unfazed. I suppose that’s the difference between an alpha and an omega. Jane would either quiver or defy me, but Nina simply seems above it all. “
Matthew already told me everything, besides,” She adds wryly, nodding towards the waiting room. “I may or may not have overheard your little chat.”
Sighing as I recall just how loud we’d been during our argument, I begin, “Then you already know what I have to say. I’m sorry Matthew called you here, but I’m afraid it was a mistake”
Nina c0cks her head to the side. “Is that so?”
“Yes.” I growl, wishing she would show me some reaction other than this nonchalance. “If you truly know my situation then you know things are pretty bleak. No one should have to cope with this stress – especially not when we don’t have a pre-existing relationship. I made an exception for my daughter, but she wants to be with me because she’s too young to know better.”
“And if I want to be with you too?” She poses, raising both brows now. “What if I don’t know better myself?”
“Why in the Goddess’s name would you want to invite this misery upon yourself?”I demand.
Nina sighs, and I catch a flash of annoyance in her warm eyes. “You know I didn’t get a choice in things when you rejected me all those years ago. You never asked me what I wanted or how I felt – you simply told me that nothing was ever going to happen between us.”
“I remember.” I say simply.
“Well, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I was raised my entire life being groomed to be an Alpha’s mate. My parents somehow sensed my fate and began training me from a young age. They came from a very poor background, so they wanted the very best for me, they wanted me to be able to succeed when I eventually found my mate.” Nina shares, sounding a bit bitter now. “You can imagine how disappointed they were when I found you and you wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”
“I’m sorry,” I profess honestly. “You have to know it wasn’t about you – I was just already in love.”
“I get that.” Nina confirms, “but now you need to understand that I have spent my life training to be a Luna and nothing else. I never had a career, I never searched for love or took on hobbies, everything I have ever done was geared towards this single goal.
Preparing me for this role took all of my parents’ money, and all my free time.” She continues, “It’s all they ever wanted and I accepted it as my destiny because they sacrificed everything for me to achieve it.”
I have a feeling I know where this is going, and the truth is that I understand more than she probably realizes. My upbringing wasn’t so different. I was raised to be an Alpha and nothing else – I never had any other options. “But I haven’t made my parents proud.” Nina tells me, “and I haven’t reached any of my own goals because all I am is a Luna without a pack.”
“I know how you feel.” I admit stiffly. “My childhood and adolescence was consumed with training to become Alpha
“Yes, but you got to live up to your potential – you got to fulfill your birthright!” Nina interrupts. For the first time I realize how angry she is. I never saw any of this emotion when we first met, though maybe they weren’t as strong then. She was very young at the time, maybe she imagined my rejection would give her the chance to branch out and do what she actually wanted, but by then it was too late. “How do you think my parents took the news that you were already mated?” She asks, clearly reading my thoughts. “Do you think they were accepting? That they said ‘f**k all our sacrifices’ you go live your bliss now? No! They dragged me around to every other Alpha in the world trying to pawn me off, and it never worked.” She huffs.
“Nina, I really am -“
“Don’t tell me that you’re sorry again.” She interjects. “I don’t need empty apologies. I need action – and you have a chance to make this up to me.” She explains.
You need someone to help you through these last months, and I need to be a Luna. I need to fulfill this goal, I need to achieve my destiny.”
“But it might only be for a few months.” I remind her gently. “And I can’t give you pups of your own, I can’t be a true mate to you.”
“I realize that.” Nina informs me, “And I have a plan, if you’re willing to hear it out.”
“Go ahead.” I encourage, curious now.
“I will play nursemaid to you. Whether you want me here or not, we are fated, and my wolf doesn’t like seeing yours in pain. It wants to care for him and I. I want to care for you.” She shares, softening her tone.
I‘ll help you care for your daughter – she’s going to need a woman’s touch, especially if you can’t get better.
My presence will keep your wolf calm and sane longer, which will extend my own rein… and even if you die, I will finally be free of my parent’s expectations. I will finally be free to live my own life.”
This sounds like a very logical plan, but the more I look at Nina, the more I suspect there is deeper emotion underneath all her tough words. I’m sure she’s being honest about her upbringing, but something about the light in her eyes makes me suspect she might be hoping for affection between us – affection I cannot give.
“I don’t mean to be cruel, I just have to say it so that we’re on the same page.”I forewarn her, “but you need to know this relationship won’t ever result in love on my end. That isn’t something I can give you.”
“I know that.” She answers stiffly. “I’ve always known that.”
An hour ago I never would have agreed to this plot, but then again I hadn’t known just how deeply my rejection had impacted her. I realize now that I owe Nina this much, and she’s right about her wolf soothing mine. It might extend my pain, but it will also give me more time to ensure my family is safe and my legacy is secure.
Taking a deep breath, I agree. “Then we have a deal.”