Ch. 191..195: The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 191-195

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 191

Jane

“I still can’t believe it!” I exclaim, telling Devon how happy I am about the pups getting into the Dark Moon Academy for the fifth time. The pups were less than thrilled when I told them, clearly not understanding what’s so great about the institution, but Devon understands. He almost seems as excited as I am.

After Ethan’s dismissive attitude and the pups underwhelmed response, it felt amazing to have someone share my glee. We’re already at the New Years fair, and though I told myself I was going to wait to announce the good news until Devon asked me about my day, I ended up blurting it out as soon as I saw him. He was still walking across the parking lot when I practically yelled it at him, but he didn’t even miss a beat.

Devon’s handsome face split into an ecstatic grin,and he scooped me up into a tight hug, pulling my feet right off the ground. “Janey that’s fantastic, congratulations!” He’s listened to my excited chatter ever since, never once trying to change the subject or dissuade me. After we got our tickets, which he paid for despite my protests, he turned his attention to the pups.

Pups, you must be so excited about your new school!” He prompts, smiling down at them.

The pups look up at Devon with guarded expressions. It’s clear they aren’t sure what to make of him yet, though they seem to like how often he makes me smile. I like it too. It’s been a long time since I smiled this way.. though I didn’t realize it until my cheek muscles grew sore so quickly – not used to being employed.

I mean, is just a school.” Parker shrugged. “Aren’t all schools the same?”

“Are you kidding?” Devon asks cheerfully, “This isn’t just any school! You’re going to get to do so many cool things you wouldn’t be able to do if you went someplace else: Field trips, science experiments, sports like archery and fencing, art and music classes with the best teachers on the continent. There’s a swimming pool and a planetarium – and stables where you can ride horses!

“Really?” The pups gape, finally understanding why I’ve been dancing around like a crazy person all afternoon.

“Really.” He nods solemnly, “And when you get older you can even sleep there during the week and live in dorms with other students.’

“But you won’t,” I object pointedly, making my dramatic and silly. “There’s no way I could survive without seeing my babies every day.”

“Don’t worry, Mommy.” Parker says, smiling up at me. “We won’t let you die from no cuddles. We’ll sneak home even if we do sleep theres.”

“Thank you, angel.” I profess, petting his silky hair.

You know, this is such good news that I think we need more than the fair to celebrate.” Devon announces, gesturing at the carnivai around us. I think we need fireworks.”

The pups stop in their tracks, their eyes wide and their faces lighting up with happiness. “Fireworks?”

That’s right.” He confirms, “I mean the city will set of big fireworks at midnight, but I thought you might like to set off some of your own.” He suggests thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, “of course if you don’t like that idea -“

“No we do, we do!” The pups chirp, jumping up and down.

I dunno,” Devon teases, It might be more boring than I thought, making we should just forget about it.”

No! We want to, we want to!” The kids cry, clasping his hands and dragging him towards a nearby fireworks booth. I follow, laughing to myself, then realizing how long it’s been since I laughed too. The pups had lots of fun and sweet moments with Ethan before the truth spilled out the other day, but I hadn’t been able to find joy in it – because I knew what was coming. This is different. This is pure fun, and I don’t have to fear that Devon is going to turn around and become a monster.

When I catch up to them at the booth, I lean close to Devon, dropping my voice so that the pups can’t hear. You do know that if you set my children on fire on our first date, it’s going to put a damper on things.”

Devon chuckles, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “Don’t worry Janey, by the time Ethan and I were five we were already blowing things up totally unsupervised.”

“Somehow I don’t find that comforting.” I joke, eyeing the fireworks my pups are picking out, and hearing my inner mom list all the dangers in my head. I’m not really worried, but five does seem young for fireworks. I don’t want my babies to be hurt.

Devon is watching me, and he gives me a squeeze.

We’ll be careful.” He promises. “You have my word -I won’t let anything happen.” I’m still frowning, thinking that even the best parents can’t prevent everything, but Devon distracts me, Though I do find it very interesting you called this a date.” He remarks, eyes twinkling. “I thought we agreed to be friends for now?”

I shrug, “Maybe I decided I want to be brave.”

Taking it slow doesn’t mean you aren’t brave.”

Devon answers, looking as though he hates having to dissuade me. “It just means you’re taking care of yourself.»

I know exactly what he’s doing, Devon has always been so selflessly good that he’d never put his own interests above another’s needs. Arching my brow, I decide to test him. “Does that mean you don’t want it to be a date?”

Devon chuckles, shaking his head. “Janey , if you had any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, that clever little mind of yours would implode.”

“Really?” I ask, a flash of doubt assailing me. I’m not anything special, not really. It always seemed too good to be true that Ethan wanted me and of course that turned out to be true. It was too good to be true. Could Devon honestly be that interested in me? Is this too good to be true as well? Am I ever going to be able to trust another man ? Even one I’ve known since childhood?

Devon pays for the fireworks and hands the bags to the pups, “come on, munchkins, lets go find a nice big field where we can set these off. We need lots of space without a lot of people around.” The pups happily comply, taking off to begin the hunt for a good spot. Devon and I follow behind them, and at first I think he’s going to ignore my question. The pups are happily chattering together, and after a moment Devon clears his throat.

“When I left, I told myself that time and a bit of distance would cure me of loving you.” He admits, rubbing the back of his neck and betraying his shyness about discussing this. I was determined to find myself a mate that was even better than you – though I never really believed someone like that existed.”

I snort, “of course they do.”

You know how it is though,” He smiles sadly. “The heart wants what it wants.”

I do know,” I answer, sobering.

Yes, well I met plenty of she-wolves over the years: beautiful, clever, funny – everything I could want in a mate. I fell in love with a few of them too, but none of my relationships lasted. When I was with someone else, I did forget about you – I managed to wanting you, missing you… but in hindsight, I think I was just distracted. It was like a string of rebounds from a relationship that I only ever dreamed about. And when the rebound was over, I was left thinking about you again.”

Devon?” I inquire, for the first time wondering if his attachment to me is more than just unrequited attraction. You don’ t… I mean… do you think… it’s not possible that we’re mates, right?” I remember what Ethan told me about meeting his mate, that he’d felt the bond, but didn’t care. I haven’t ever felt any kind of bond with Devon, but if it’s possible not to want some one despite it, surely it’s possible not to feel it at all? I mean it takes some couples a long time to figure out they’re mates, so it must be possible.

“I hope not.” Devon replies, surprising me,

Because if we are I have a bad feeling you’re going to break my heart.”

I stop dead in my tracks. I don’t want to break your heart. I don’t want to break anyone’s heart.”

He smiles, “Not even Ethan’s?”

I chuckle sadly, shaking my head. No, I thinkI’d like to kill him, but I don’t want anyone to feel the way I do- it’s too cruel.”

Devon laughs, “Fair enough.”

Just then, Ryder, Riley, Parker and Paisley come bounding back to us, shouting with excitement. We found a place, we found a place!”

“Well let’s go!” Devon replies, equally excited. We let the pups drag us to a meadow beside the fairgrounds, where more than one family are doing exactly what we are. We begin setting up the fireworks, and I watch with pleasure as Devon carefully teaches the pups how to set them off safely.

With every new explosion of light and color, my babies ooh and ahh, and I’m so distracted watching their happiness that I forget my conversation with Devon. It’s not until much later, when I’m lying awake in bed replaying the night in my head, that I realize – he never actually answered my question.

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 192

3rd Person

Paisley blinked her tired eyes open, stretching and yawning as she looked around her darkened room.

The other pups were cuddled around and beneath her. As the smallest of her siblings, Paisley always got to be on the top of the puppy pile – but Riley, Parker and Ryder hadn’t stirred, remaining sound asleep even as she slid out of bed.

She couldn’t be sure how late it was, but the sky outside her window was still pitch black. She planned on sneaking into her Daddy’s room and crawling into his bed – just like she had done every night since returning to the Nightfang pack.

However this night was more important than all the others, because it was their last night before returning to the Dark Moon pack. In the morning Jane was going to pile the children into the car and return home at long last – she’d even invited Devon along since they were traveling in the same direction.

Paisley wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her father, and she felt completely at odds with her siblings.

They didn’t understand why she still wanted to stay with Ethan when he’d been so mean, and she couldn’t tell them his secret. She was still furious with Ethan too, but for different reasons. She both understood why he couldn’t let her stay – yet hated him for putting his foot down. It was too many big emotions for the young pup, and all she knew at the end of the day was that she loved her father more than she was angry. So she kept crawling into his bed at night, trying to soak up as much affection as possible before they were parted.

Paisley didn’t pause to knock on Ethan’s door, though that wouldn’t have done any good because when she entered the master bedroom she found it empty. Confused, she scented the air, following his trail to his office. She didn’t know why she hesitated outside the door, but she did. She peeked through the keyhole to spy on the scene within, feeling her stomach sink when she saw her father bent over his desk with his head in his hands – weeping.

Paisley immediately started crying herself, but she still waited. As she watched, she saw Ethan’s edges blur and shake with terrifying violence. She could see his claws extend from his clenched fists, before retracting, then extending again. His entire body was vibrating, leaking raw power and overflowing with palpable anguish and rage.

Ethan’s eyes were clenched tightly shut, his fangs bared as he tried to weather the pain wracking his form. Belatedly Paisley realized what she was seeing – her father’s wolf trying to escape but remaining trapped by the bonds of his human flesh.

He forced himself out of his chair then, as if he thought it might not hurt so badly if he was standing. However the movement was too sudden, and he crumpled to the floor, landing with a crash.

Paisley watched as Ethan’s shoulders slumped in resignation, and he simply sobbed his grief into the carpet, settling in to wait out the agony.

Paisley stepped back from the door, unable to stand watching any longer. Her young heart had been through so much strife, but she couldn’t ever remember feeling so utterly heartbroken.

In that moment, Paisley made a decision. She didn’t care that Ethan and Jane were insisting she had to go back to the Dark Moon pack, she could see how badly her father needed her. She could see he was just being stubborn. Paisley knew that she had to find a way to stay with Ethan, even if she had to run away from Jane and her siblings. She loved them with all her heart and she wished they could be together, but Jane, Ryder, Parker and Riley would be okay without her – they had each other. But if she didn’t find a way to stay, Ethan would be all alone, and she couldn’t let that happen.

When the other pups went back to the Dark Moon pack with Jane, Paisley was going to find a way to remain with Ethan even if she had to run away in order to do it.

The next morning Ethan and Jane found themselves scouring the house for Paisley. The other pups loaded into the car without complaint, but Paisley was nowhere to be found. They eventually tracked her down in the attic, and despite an epic tantrum, Ethan dragged her kicking and screaming to the car. Jane and the other pups were also crying by the time Paisley was settled in the back seat, though Ethan managed to retain control of his emotions until the car was out of sight. He offered Jane a cold farewell, then shared a solemn look of understanding with Devon, before retreating into the Penthouse.

Paisley was furious.

She cried all the way out of the city, and nothing Jane or her brothers and sister could say would calm her. Eventually she ran out of tears, exhausting herself and falling into a deep sleep.

Jane wasn’t relieved. She continued weeping even as the pups settled, apologizing profusely to Devon, even though he assured her it was alright.

“I can’t stand this.” Jane confessed. “And I don’t mean to be such terrible company, it’s just that you’re only ever as happy as your unhappiest child – you know?”

“I know.” Devon sympathized, squeezing her hand.

“I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Jane. And you don’t need to worry, it’s not as though I expect you to entertain me.”

“Well thank you for coming along.” Jane expressed, trying to slow her tears enough to smile at him. “My vision is so blurry I probably would have crashed the car by now.”

“Well we couldn’t have that!” Devon exclaimed, not releasing her hand. “And I know there’s not anything I can say to make any of this any better, but I truly believe Paisley will recover in time. It’s hard now because she’s so little, but in time she’ll understand that a parent who abandons her doesn’t deserve her adoration.”

Jane had thought this herself, but now she wasn’t so sure. She knew how childhood traumas could haunt people for the rest of their lives, and of all her pups she was most worried about this experience scarring Paisley. However before she could say a word in reply, a furious little voice piped up from the back seat, “You don’t know what you’re talking ’bout”

It seemed that Paisley’s nap had been short-lived.

She was awake again, and she obviously did not care for Devon’s analysis. “You have no rights to talk about my Daddy! You’re just a stupid stranger – you shouldn’t even be here! And you smell like wee!”

“Paisley!” Jane scolded, “That’s not very nice, Devon is doing a very generous thing driving with us.”

“It’s okay, Janey. ” Devon insisted. “I understand if Paisley needs to be mad at me.”

“Don’t call hers that!” Paisley shouted. “Only Daddy calls her that!”

“Paisley, you need to calm down.” Jane admonished. “I know you’re upset, but you know better than to lash out at other people when you feel bad. It isn’t fair to Devon.”

“I don’t care what’s fair to him! He’s a poopy-head!”

Paisley insisted.

“Paisley, Devon’s nice!” Parker interjected, feeling the need to step in and help. “Member the fireworks, and how much he makes Mommy smile?”

“Shut up!” Paisley exploded, feeling more outraged and overwhelmed than she could ever remember feeling. “I hate him! I hate all of you.”

“You shouldn’ say things like that.” Riley frowned deeply. “You’re our sister. We haves to stick together.”

“The only person I wanna be togethers with is Daddy!” Paisley wailed.

“Maybe now is a good time for a stop.” Devon sighed, glancing at the young faces in the rearview mirror. Paisley was not the only one in tears now.

Ryder was also crying, and Jane was well on her way to more weeping. “Let’s stretch our legs and get some fresh air.”

Devon pulled the car into a rest stop, and the distraught party carefully clambered from the car.

Jane tried to take Paisley aside, but the little girl just continued to fight, so in the end she focused on making a snack for the pups, hoping some quiet time would help calm Paisley’s epic meltdown. Jane was no stranger to tantrums, she was an expert in managing two or three at once, but she still hated seeing Paisley in this state because she knew it wasn’t just immaturity – it was true sorrow.

Leaving Paisley in the shade of a large tree and telling her she would be happy to talk once the pup calmed down, Jane began making sandwiches, glancing at the restrooms to ensure Devon was okay with the other pups.

She only turned her back for a second. A single second. But a second was all it took. By the time Devon returned with Ryder, Parker and Riley, Jane was frantically scouring the area around the picnic table, her green eyes wide with terror.

“Jane, what’s wrong?” He asked, immediately scanning their surroundings as well. When he didn’t see the fourth pup, he understood without Jane saying a single word. But her agonized cry came nonetheless, and it cut straight through him.

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 193

3rd Person

It had been only too easy.

Paisley had known that getting herself put in time out would give her the space she needed to escape, though she couldn’t deny how good it had felt to shout her rage at that stupid Devon. She didn’t care how nice or funny he was, he wasn’t her Daddy, and she didn’t want anything to do with him. She did feel badly for upsetting her Mommy and the other pups, but Ethan had taught her that sometimes you have to make very hard decisions in order to do the right thing.

Sometimes you even have to hurt the people you love to protect them.

Paisley had been watching the cars driving in and out of the rest area, and when Jane turned her back, the clever pup swiftly ran to one of the vehicles traveling back south. She climbed into the back seat of a car belonging to an elderly couple, covering her small body with a blanket. She prayed and prayed that they would leave quickly, and for once the Goddess was on her side. The car pulled out of the parking lot just as she heard Jane begin to cry out her name.

By the time her Mommy had informed the others that Paisley was missing, she was speeding down the highway, on the way back to her Daddy.

When Ethan’s phone rang and Jane’s name appeared on the screen, he dried his tears and cleared his throat, hoping he wouldn’t sound too emotional when he answered. “Hello?”

“Ethan?” As soon as he heard Jane’s frantic, terrified voice, he sat up at attention.

“Jane, what’s wrong?” He demanded, already regretting letting his family out of his sight. He should have gone with them! He shouldn’t have let them make the journey alone, his injuries be damned!

“It’s P-Paisley.” Jane cried, hiccupping through her tears. “She’s m-missing.”

“What do you mean she’s missing?” He hissed. “What happened?”

“She was so upset and we stopped at a rest stop. She’s been throwing tantrums all morning so I put her in time out. I swear I only turned my back for a second and she was gone!” Jane explained, sobbing so violently she could barely get the words out.

Ethan clamped his eyes shut. “She’s trying to run back here.” He immediately guessed, “Do you know if she’s on foot? Could she have snuck into another car?”

“I think she must have because there’s no scent trail.”

Jane answered, heaving in deep breaths.

“That’s good.” Ethan assured her. “She’s safer in a car than she is out in the elements.”

“But what if the people who own the car decide to take advantage, what if they’re more kidnappers!” Jane fretted, clearly imagining every worst scenario. “I can’t believe this is happening again! We barely got them back! You were right, I’m not fit to be a mother, I can’t even keep my babies from being stolen or running away.”

“Jane, you need to get it together.” Ethan answered sternly, beyond relieved to finally be able to speak with her honestly. “The chances that she stumbled into a kidnapper’s car are extremely low. And it’s not your fault. Every parent knows how fast little ones can run off-“

“Exactly, which means I shouldn’t have ever taken my eyes off her!” Jane shouted into the receiver.

“Jane, the other pups need you to be calm. They need your comfort right now.” Ethan insisted. “And you can’t help Paisley if you fall to pieces. Where’s Devon?”

“I’m here, Ethan.” Devon’s voice answered, obviously standing close enough to take the phone from Jane.

Her sobs grew muffled then, and Ethan suspected the other man was holding his mate. He tried not to overflow with jealousy. He knew he’d created this situation and he believed the beta was better for her, but that didn’t stop his wolf from being outraged over another man comforting Jane in her time of need.

“I don’t know if Paisley had time to make sure the car she chose was traveling in the right direction. If we’re lucky she’s headed back to you, but there’s a chance she’s moving north. What do you want to do?”

“How close are you to the Dark Cities?” Ethan inquired, checking the clock.

“About half way.” Devon answered promptly. “I don’t think we should backtrack, in case she’s headed in that direction, but I’m not sure we should continue and risk passing her.”

“This is the story of my life.” Ethan muttered gruffly, feeling as overwhelmed as Jane to find himself back in this wretched situation. There was no fear on earth like not knowing where your baby was, if they were safe or injured. He’d pay any prince, if only he could go the rest of his life without feeling that fear. “Stay where you are. Paisley is bright, and if I had to guess I’d say she was planning this. Hopefully she’s on her way to me, but we have no way of knowing for sure.”

“And in the meantime?” Devon asked, making soft shushing sounds in the background.

“I’m going to call the authorities and put them in contact with you. We’ll find her.” Ethan insisted, not even allowing himself to consider another possibility.

And in the meantime, just do me a favor and take care of my family.”

“You have my word.” Devon vowed.

“How are the other pups?” Ethan questioned, not needing to ask about Jane because he could still hear her heartbroken sobs.

“They’re pretty shaken up, though some of that is..”

Devon trailed off, as if unsure how to complete his thought.

“Because Jane is so upset?” Ethan guessed, picturing the horrible scene in his mind.

“Exactly.” Devon confirmed.

“You can remind her that they need her, and it might help..”Ethan assessed. “But I’m afraid this is more than grief. She’s been through a lot and she’s probably reliving the kidnapping now.. in fact, I know she is.” He amended, images of the Southern Isles flashing in his mind. He shakes his head. “Honest to Goddess, it might be better to drug her – if you have anything on hand.

That way she’ll rest and the pups Won’t be traumatized watching her.”

“You think her PTSD is that bad?” Devon replied, sounding mildly horrified.

“You tell me.” Ethan suggested, wishing he could be there instead of his old friend. He knew how to soothe Jane, he knew what she needed in times like this, and though he could suggest solutions to Devon, he doubted they would work. Or was it that he hoped they wouldn’t work?

Ethan felt a rush of shame, knowing the answer already. What was wrong with him? How could he hope his friend’s connection with Jane wasn’t strong enough to comfort her when she was suffering this way. How could he hope for such a thing at all? Wasn’t this entire plan based on hoping Devon could replace him?

Sinking his fangs into his tongue until he tasted b***d, Ethan offered up the best advice he could provide. “You can try purring for her, make sure she feels like you’re in control and that the other pups are safe. Distract her if you can. If nothing else works, or if she starts having true flashbacks, do anything you can to put her to sleep – just be gentle.”

“I’ll do my best.” Devon promised. There was a beat of silence as the old friends processed the surreal reality in which they now found themselves, before the beta continued. “And Ethan?”

“Yes?” The Alpha asked, hearing the other man’s bleak tone and suspecting he didn’t really want to hear what was coming next.

“I’m sorry.” Devon expressed, and it was clear he was talking about a lot more than Paisley’s disappearance.

Ethan smothered a g***n. It was hard to feel jealous of the other man when he was such a good friend, when he picked up on so many of the feelings they were leaving unsaid. Still, Ethan couldn’t help himself.

Maybe in time he would be as noble as Jane and the pups deserved, but right now he hated Devon for being there when he couldn’t be, even though he was eternally grateful that the beta had come back into their lives right when they needed him.

“I’m sorry too.” Ethan agreed, wondering if this would ever get any easier. He doubted it would, but first things first – he had to find Paisley. As soon as he hung up with Devon he called the authorities, telling them about the latest crisis. It took him a moment to decide whether it might put Paisley in greater danger if it was known she was vulnerable and unprotected, then debated whether it would make him look too weak to have lost his precious pup again. In the end he decided Paisley’s best chance was for as many people to be searching for her as possible – his own reputation or status be damned.

Paisley came first.

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 194

Jane

My pups are gone.

The b***d is rushing in my ears, pounding through my skull in a relentless flood that blocks out all other sound. I can hear nothing above the whirr of white noise, and my head is dizzy with thick, black fog. I blink repeatedly, trying to orient myself amidst these strange sensations.

My entire body feels strangely heavy, as If I’m fighting gravity just to stay upright. I’m too warm, and yet I’m shivering too, trembling so violently I have to wrap my arms around myself just to keep my limbs still.

I’m in a dark alleyway, the scent of my pups mingling with the sour tang of strangers – rogue wolves who wouldn’t hesitate to sell them to the highest bidder. We came so close! We were on their trail but it’s gone cold now. They’ve disappeared without a trace. My babies might have outsmarted Eve, but no young children could survive this part of the city unscathed.

My wolf howls inconsolably, and tears pour from my eyes. “My pups.” I sob. We have to find them!”

A man’s voice sounds beside me, familiar and yet distant – like a memory long forgotten. “Jane, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?

I spin around, searching for the source of the voice, but all I see are the darkened streets of Cite de la Nuit. Why can’t I see him? And where is Ethan?He should be here, he’s supposed to be here. “They’ve taken my babies.” I m0an again, you have to help me.”

“Jane, it’s okay. Everyone’s safe.” The familiar voice insists. “Parker, Riley, and Ryder are here.”

“No.” I cry, I know exactly what’s happening.

I’m not sure how, but there’s no doubt in my mind that the pups have been kidnapped. The traffickers! Anita!” The name appears in my mind, as if from a dream. “She’s going to sell them to King Aimon.”

Jane, you’re having an episode. King Aimon is dead.” Strong hands try to grasp my shoulders, but these words don’t make sense. I know what’s happening, it feels too real-I’ve been through this before.

“But my babies are gone!” Sunlight flashes through the darkness surrounding me, if only for a moment. It’s beyond disorienting – one moment I’m ensconced in absolute darkness, in a city that reeks of, the next I’m blindsided by an explosion of light and fresh air. It disappears almost as quickly as it appeared, but I lower myself to the ground, no longer able to maintain my balance.

“Mommy, we’re not gone! We’re right here!”

Parker frets, leaning against my side. Two more warm bodies pile into my lap, and tiny hands press to my face.

“It’s okay Mommy,” Riley promises, “please don’t cry.”

Shock freezes me for the barest moment. I can’t see them but I can feel them. What’s happening? Am I losing my mind? My arms lock around the pups, dragging Parker into the circle of my arms with his brother and sister. “Where’s Paisley? I need Paisley!”

Silence meets my ears. I can still feel the pups steady weight, but they’re not speaking to me anymore, nor is the man with us. Tell me!” I demand, hating the desperate edge in my voice.

Where’s my little girl?”

Janey, drink some water.” The man requests and a plastic bottle presses to my lips. His voice is a soft purr, and the gentle rumbling continues long after his words end.

The sound grates against my nerves, and I knock the bottle away. Stop that!” I beg, I don’t like it. I have to find Paisley!”

Devon what’s wrong with Mommy?” Ryder whispers, his young voice sounding afraid.

“She’s just having bad memories,” Devon – of course it’s Devon, no wonder his voice is so familiar. But why is he here? I haven’t seen him in years. “Sometimes this happens after you go through something scary, like having a nightmare when you’re awake.”

Mommy wake up!” Parker requests, sounding miserable. “Is okay, we’re okay. We’re gonna find Paisley!”

Jane, please drink this.” Devon encourages, You’ re scaring the pups. You don’t want them to be afraid.”

His large hand settles between my shoulder blades as he offers me the water again. His words gradually seep into my mind, and I’m crying harder than ever, thinking that I might be frightening my babies. I such down a few gulps of water, but there’s a strange metallic taste to the liquid. I cough and sputter, but Devon praises me gently. “That’s it, good girl.”

I’m shaking my head. This is wrong, Devon shouldn’t be here. Ethan should be here. My wolf isn’t going to be calmed until either Paisley or my mate is here. No, I don’t want you. I want Ethan, I need Ethan.”

“I know Janey.” Devon sighs, “But Ethan is out looking for Paisley, you have to do without him for now.”

No, he can’t have. He tried to leave, but I didn’t let him go alone. I followed – he must be here somewhere. Suddenly the alleyway is gone, I’m upside down, inching up the rigging line of a ship with Linda. I’m moving, swaying in the wind and shaking with the effort of hanging onto the ropes. And yet… I’m not moving at all, I’m completely still. “My head hurts. I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Come away pups.” Devon encourages the kids, give your Mommy some space.”

No! She needs us.” Riley argues, cuddling closer. “You can be sick if you needs to, Mommy.”

Despite my daughter’s offer, when my stomach rises in my throat, I force them out of my lap as gently as I can, flipping myself over so that I can vomit onto the grass. Small sniffles and cries meet my ears as my body rejects the water Devon just fed me, and tiny hands pull my hair back I’m sorry.” I weep, aware enough now to realize that my pups are trying to take care of me when I should be taking care of them. “I’m so sorry.”

I hear a phone dialing in the background, and Devon’s urgent voice speaking rapidly into the receiver. “Ethan, she’s spiraling and I can’t help her, I’ve tried everything. She doesn’t seem to know where she is or what’s happening – she only wants you and Paisley.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he continues.

“No, she can’t keep it down.” Another pause, “I think that would be best – it’s not like she’s going to remember it anyway.”

Then a phone is pressing to my ear. “Janey?”

Ethan’s deep voice filters through my senses, and the fist around my heart loosens slightly. “

Can you hear me, little wolf?”

“Ethan?” I hiccup, the world blurring around me in a blinding flash of colors. “Where are you? P- Paisley’s g-gone and I- I’m so confused. What’s happening?”

His purrs emanate through the phone, soothing my frayed nerves even from so far away. “I’m here sweetheart. I’m sorry I can’t be with you, but I’m searching for Paisley.”

I want to help, I want to be where you are,” I complain, not caring one bit that I sound about as mature as my children.

I know angel, but I’m too far away, and if I come to you, I’ll have to stop searching for Paisley. I promise I’ll bring her to you as soon as I find her.” He vows, his voice overflowing with warmth. “It’s going to be okay, baby.”

I’m scared.” I confess, “I keep seeing… I keep thinking they’ve all been kidnapped, but then they’re here with me!”

Jane, Devon has some sleeping pills, I think you need to take one.” Ethan advises. “You won’t have to be afraid, you won’t have any bad dreams. You can just close your eyes and when you wake up I’ll be there with Paisley.”

“But the other pups!” I object, “I can’t let them out of my sight.. and I don’t want to go to sleep, what if something happens while I’m out.”

The other pups can nap with you.” Ethan suggests. “Trust me, sweetheart, it can’t be good for them to see you this way. And Devon will watch over you all.”

“Do you promise that you’ll be here when I wake up?” I beg, hating how needy I sound.

I ‘Il do my best. He promises. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to let anything happen to Paisley. We got through this once, we can get through this again.”

But I’m her mother. It’s my job to worry about her. I can’t just stay here and do nothing when she’s in trouble.” I object, feeling a sudden rush of defiance. The world around me is coming more and more into focus, the docks and darkness disappear, and the fog in my brain eases.

You have three other pups to take care of and worry about Jane. And one in your belly. Let me handle finding Paisley, you focus on the rest of our family.” Ethan presses. We’re going to get through this.”

I nod silently, only realizing he can’t see me a moment later. “Okay, I’ll try.

“That’s my girl.” There’s a meaningful break in his words, as if he’s trying to decide whether or not he should speak the words on the tip of his tongue. “I love you so much, Jane. I always have, and I always will.

I whimper, wondering why those simple words make my heart swell with a tidal wave of grief.

You too.”

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 195

Ethan

As I hang up the phone, I wonder if I’ve just made a terrible mistake. According to Devon, Jane was so out of it that she won’t remember any of our conversation, and I’m praying he’s right. It would complicate things far too much if Jane actually recalled my confession professing my undying love for her even after everything I’ve done. Still, I couldn’t help myself. My wolf wouldn’t allow me to listen to her suffering in this way and stay silent.

I also fear it was a mistake to promise I could be there with Paisley once she wakes. In the moment my thoughts were simply that getting Jane to sleep was more important than anything.

Hopefully when she wakes she’ll be lucid and the entire PTSD episode will be a blur, but I don’t want to frighten her more if she does remember and I break my promise. I suppose Devon can keep her asleep until I çan arrive, but we can’t keep that up forever.

I’m currently at the border of the NightFang territory, having every single car crossing into my pack’s lands searched. I’m praying that Paisley is indeed headed in my direction, and if we’re lucky then I might even be able to find her before the people with whom she’s stowed away even know she’s there.

My guards have already been at it for an hour however, and the more time that passes, the less optimistic I feel.

Depending on the drivers, Paisley could be anywhere on the continent, and after what happened in the Southern Isles, I’m not confident that would tell a stranger her identity if she’s found. This both comforts and frightens me at once. I want her to be cautious, but not to the point that she can’t find her way back home.

This is why we never should have sent her away.

We should have known she’d do something like this. My wolf growls in my head.

I was trying to do what’s best for her. I bite back, wondering if he’s right. She’s been pining for a mother her whole life, and we’ve seen the damage I do to she-wolves. She needs a father like Devon, not me.

Just like Jane needs a mate like Devon? My wolf grumbles, Who couldn’t calm her or comfort her despite his best efforts?

He’ll learn. No one figures these things out overnight. I reason stubbornly.

You did- you never had any problem reading

Jane’s needs. He argues.

I think you’re forgetting a rather significant incident where I failed to notice she felt like an unwanted slave for more than a year. I hiss in my head, scanning the horizon for approaching cars.

That was a conspiracy. She was spellbound and Eve and your mother were whispering poison in your ear. He insists.

The point is that I wasn’t able to see what was happening right in front of my very eyes despite being her mate. I cut sharply, Now enough of this I’m not going to keep litigating this to death. I’ve made up my mind.

I’m about ready to shut my wolf out completely, sick of these constant arguments and wishing I could somehow cut myself off from the pain he feels being trapped. It’s not that I don’t love that part of myself, it would just be so much easier if I didn’t have to feel all this. I wish I could turn off that part of my brain, even if it meant I would have to live as a shadow of myself for the rest of my life – better a shadow than a madman.

I’m still caught up in my morbid thoughts when a shout sounds on my left, “Alpha! Come quick!

I turn in the direction of the call, scenting the air and immediately detecting my daughter’s pure, sweet scent. Oh thank the Goddess!

I race to the car in question as fast as my braces will allow. When I arrive at the vehicle, finding a very confused looking couple and one of my guards leaning into the backseat, I see Paisley sound asleep on the floor of the car, half- covered by a thick blanket. I have tears in my eyes as I lift her up into my arms, and the couple immediately starts exclaiming apologies, insisting they had no idea.

I quickly check my pup for injuries or signs of distress, but she looks completely unharmed.

Her steady breathing is low and even, and she’s napping so deeply that she doesn’t even notice being moved. I hug her close, looking over the top of her head to the panicked couple. “It’s alright. I promise. “She snuck into the backseat all on her own, I know it wasn’t your fault.”

I turn to my guards then, Call off the search and get me a car. I need to get her to Jane as soon as possible.”

I’m still waiting for a vehicle to appear when Paisley stirs, yawning widely and blinking up at me in confusion, then relief. “Daddy – you found me.” She smiles and stretches, snuggling into my chest. “I knew you would.”

I shake my head. “Paisley, what were you thinking!” I scold. “After everything you’ve been through, do you have any idea how dangerous that was? You know better than to go near strangers, and even if they were good people, they didn’t even know you were in the car. You could have gotten locked inside and been trapped – it’s the dead of winter, you could have frozen to death”

But Daddy, you needed me – I couldn’t leave you, and I knew you’d find me. Paisley argues, still hugging me.

I set her on the ground so that she’ll be forced to look me in the eye. “Paisley, I’m very upset with you. You terrified your Mommy and took some very serious risks. You’re a big girl now and I know you want to help me, but that also means that you ought to know enough to realize what you did was very wrong.

Paisley sticks out her lower l*p, giving me huge puppy dog eyes. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’ wanna scare you and Mommy. Please don’ be mad at me.

I offer the clever pup a low rumble. I am mad at you. I love you very much, but you can’t get yourself out of trouble by batting your eyelashes at me and being adorable. “

Her brow furrows. “Why not?”

I almost want to laugh. “Because part of growing up is taking responsibility for your actions when you’ve done wrong, and you know you were wrong, Paisley. You know you were defying me and Mommy and that running away wasn’t safe.”

Paisley thinks about this for a moment. I can see her working through all her different emotions: guilt, sadness, anger, indignance, confusion. Her little face is set in a deep frown, and then she looks up at me with blazing eyes looking more fierce and determined than I can ever remember seeing her. I don’ care.”

Paisley, I warn, not entirely sure what I’m seeing here. Is this the beginning of a tantrum, or something else? Something new?

“No Daddy!” She cries. “I made up my mind. I don’ care how wrong it was. I belongs with you. I loves Mommy and I loves Parker, Riley and Ryder – but you needs me. I’m staying with you. And if you try to make me go away again I’ll just run away over and over. I don’ care how many times I have to do it, I will always come back to you.”

My wolf is both impressed by my daughter’s defiance, and frustrated by her stubborn insistence. I love how strong she’s getting, but it is incredibly inconvenient in moments like this.

Sweetheart, I know it’s difficult, but I promise you’ll adjust in time.”

Daddy I said no!” Paisley shouts, crossing her arms over her chest. “I know you thinks I’m being rock headed -“

Hard headed,” I correct gently.

“Whatever!” She exclaims, thoroughly exasperated. “But I knows my own mind! I know what I want and I’m not going to change my feelings. I want to be with you and you haves to accept that.”

I study her closely, wondering how determined such a young pup can really be. Part of me thinks she’s just being dramatic, that as soon as the initial pain of our separation passes, she’ll forget all about me. However deep down, I think I realize that she’s completely serious.

Paisley isn’t going to stop trying to get back to me, no matter how much time passes. She’s wise beyond her years, and her heart is as strong and passionate as her mother’s, if she says she’ll keep running away, she means it.

So what do I do? Do I work with Jane to lock up our baby for her own protection, or do I let her come home to me, even though I might be a danger to her. I already know I can’t bear to do the former – I wouldn’t crush her spirit for anything in the world. “But Paisley, I’m not safe for you to be around.”

You won’t hurt me, Daddy.” She decides firmly, tilting her chin up. You loves me too much.

“You’re really determined aren’t you?” I sigh, looking into her brilliant green eyes.

Yes.” She insists. I am.”

I think we need to talk to your Mommy.”