Ch. 186..190: The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 186-190
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 186
Ethan
The moment I saw Devon, I was struck with a terrible idea. The most wonderful, terrible idea.
Jane might not be up to date in pack politics, but I know the Alpha of the Dark Moon pack just retired his Beta before the holidays, and if the word on the street is correct, Devon will be his replacement.
I’ve been counting on Matthew to keep an eye on me and help train my successor – once I find one- but I still haven’t come across a solution for giving Jane and my pups a worthy father figure.
However if Devon is going to be in the Dark Moon pack, then he could be the answer to those my problems. I wouldn’t have to worry about them so much if I knew Devon was there, and even if he isn’t still in love with Jane, it will only be a matter of time before he falls again – only an idiot wouldn’t love Jane.
My wolf is growling furiously at this idea, jealousy bubbling up inside us like a toxic tidal wave of green-eyed fury, but I force down the feelings. The idea of letting another man sniff around my family goes against everything I am, but I also know that I’m not in any state to defend my claim on them – which is exactly the problem. My wolf might want to fight anyone who goes near them, but my days of winning fights are over. They need a new protector, and Devon is precisely the kind of man I would want for Jane if I couldn’t have her myself – I’ve known that from the day he stepped down as my Beta.
The memory rises through my thoughts as I watch him walk away with Jane, headed for the coffee house. I continue leading the pups down the street, but my mind is already a thousand miles away.
“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” I demand, staring at Devon in shock and horror. We’re seventeen, and up until now we’d always planned on leading the pack together when my father steps down. We’ve been friends since we were in diapers, and he’s never shown even the tiniest glimmer of disloyalty. I can’t believe he’s just resigned and announced he’s quitting the territory.
“I’m sorry, Ethan.” He sighs, not looking me in the eye. “I wouldn’t do this if I thought there was any other way.”
“What are you talking about?” I growl. “This has always been the plan, you’ve always been a brother to me – you can’t just walk away without any explanation, Devon.”
“Trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to know my reasons.” Devon begs, looking torn. “I’m trying to do the right thing for everyone.”
I cross the room, bracing my hands on his burly shoulders. “Please, talk to me.” I plead, hating the way he continues to avert his gaze. “If something is wrong I want to help.”
“You can’t help!” Devon explodes, finally raising his blazing silver eyes to mine. I can feel his anger as if it were my own, but more shocking than anything is the resentment I see in his expression.
It’s so fierce I have to take a step back.
“I don’t understand, have I done something to upset you?” I inquire, both needing and fearing the answer.
“You can’t help.” Devon repeats heavily, shaking his head. “Because you are the problem.. not that you can help it. I don’t even blame you, really.. I just can’t stay.”
“Stop speaking in riddles.” I order, scrambling to figure out how I’ve offended him. “If I’m the problem then I sure as hell can help it. Just tell me what to do, tell me what to change – what to say, who to pay, who to kill.”
Devon emits a frustrated g***n, dragging one large hand through his curls and clenching his fists in exasperation, “For the love of the Goddess Ethan, can’t you just let it go! Do you have to be such a pain in the as*s!”
“Yes!” I thunder in return. “When it comes to losing my best friend, I absolutely do!” I bite back, studying his familiar face as though I’ve never seen it before. “And what about Jane, this will break her heart.”
The three of us have been tied at the h*p for as long as I can remember. Jane might have met me first, but she befriended Devon just as quickly as she befriended me. We’ve always been the three musketeers, and though I worried falling in love with one of my best friends might alienate the other, Devon never seemed the least bit phased.
When we told him we were dating, he just laughed and said he’d wondered if we were ever going to figure it out.
However when I say her name now he flinches, and for the first time I notice a hint of color flushing his cheeks. He’s gone back to staring at the floor, and suddenly I know what he’s about to say before he even opens his mouth. “Jane’s heart won’t ever be broken, as long as she has you. And I want her to be happy more than I wish it for myself, so I’m not going to get in the way.”
“You think she’s your mate.” I guess, feeling suddenly sick to my stomach.
“What I think doesn’t matter. She doesn’t see me that way, she only has eyes for you.” Devon replies, his even tone only hinting at the underlying grief I know he must be feeling.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, deflating slightly.
“You’re my best friends and I’ve never seen you happier than when you’re together. You intend on marrying her, don’t you?” He guesses, though I’ve never spoken this secret aloud.
“Yes.” I confirm, “if she’ll have me.”
“She will.” Devon confirms gravely, “And together you two will make the best leaders this pack has seen in generations. I might be strong enough to give her up, but I’m not strong enough to stay here and watch you build your lives together.”
“Does she know how you feel?” I ask, not sure I want to know the answer to this question. If the answer is yes I don’t think I’d mind, but if it’s no… then shouldn’t he tell her? Shouldn’t he get to profess his feelings? Shouldn’t Jane know all the options available to her? What if… what if she realizes she’s meant to be with Devon, instead of with me? Am I brave enough to risk that happening? No, I immediately answer myself. I’m not, I can’t lose Jane.
“No, and she’s not going to.” Devon responds simply. “I won’t have either of you heartbroken on my account.”
“But… what if it’s meant to be you two. What if you are fated, and she just needs to hear it to realize?” I feel as though the room is spinning all of a sudden, and for the first time in my memory, I feel uncertain of myself, uncertain of my relationship with Jane.
“I meant what I said.” Devon insists, “I don’t want to hurt you either, and even if we are mates… you’re the stronger wolf. She’s safer with you. Her children will be Alphas that’s not something I can give her.”
“But Devon -“
“I don’t like it any more than you do.” He insists.
But I have to do this. She picked you, I have to respect that.”
“Where will you go?” I ask, hating myself for agreeing to this plan. I feel a sharp stab of shame for my cowardice. Maybe being an Alpha makes me selfish, or maybe Devon is simply a better man than I am. If the tables were turned I can’t say that I would sacrifice myself this way – in fact I knew I wouldn’t. I have the opportunity to give Jane the choice here and now, but I’m too afraid of losing her to do the right thing.
“I haven’t figured that part out yet, but don’t worry – I’ll land on my feet. Just, do me a favor and wait until I’m gone before you tell her.” Devon requests.
If she asks me to stay I’m not sure I’ll be able to refuse her.”
“I understand.” I nod, crossing the room and throwing my arms around him. “I’m sorry to see you,go.. It was always supposed to be three of us running the pack, not just Jane and I.”
“You two will do amazing without me – you’ll see.”
He smiles sadly, hugging me tightly.
I’ll never forget the way Jane cried when I told her Devon was gone, or how horrible it had felt to tell her I didn’t know the reason he left. And the more I look back on it, the more I realize I had been a coward by not encouraging him to tell Jane how he felt. Maybe he was the right man for her all along, and my selfishness stopped them from being together. He’d certainly been wrong when he told me jane would never be heartbroken as long as we were together.
Either way, Devon let Jane go when he believed I was better for her, the least I can do now is return the favor, no matter how badly it hurts.
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 187
Jane
One moment the pavement is careening up towards my face, and the next strong arms catch me around the waist. “Woah there.” Devon’s familiar voice sounds in my ear as his scent washes over me.
“I’m sorry,” I slur, “The baby..”
Devon’s arms tense, then my legs are lifted out from under me and I can feel us moving. Only later do I realize that my vision had blacked out, but I feel mildly comforted by the rocking sensation of being carried. A few moments later I’m being set into a chair, and I hear Devon asking a waitress for some water. Almost immediately a cool glass is pressed to my lips, and I manage to take a few sips. Slowly my disorientation eases, and I blink the spots out of my eyes.
When my vision returns, I see Devon kneeling in front of me, a concerned expression on his face.
There you are.” He praises, brushing the hair from my eyes, “Just take your time, Jane, we can stay here as long as you need.”
I gulp down more water, pressing my palm to my belly as if testing my own nausea. “I’m sorry.” I say again, staring at the man before me in shock.
There was a time when I knew Devon as well as I knew Ethan – at least, I thought I had. I never knew he felt anything for me other than friendship. I certainly never imagined he left the territory because of me.
“For what?” He says, his eyes crinkling with his smile, “Fainting or making me fall in love with you?”
“Both,” I frown, suddenly feeling so guilty I can’t breathe.
“Jane, I was only teasing.” Devon remarks wryly,”
I promise neither were your fault.” He eyes my belly then, scenting the air as if hoping to catch the scent of my unborn pup. Unfortunately it’s too early for my scent to have changed just yet, but clearly my muttered excuses hadn’t gone unheard.
“You’re breeding again.”
“Yes.” I sigh, trying to remind myself what a blessing this is. When I first suspected I was pregnant I couldn’t face the news because of what it might mean for our mission, when I learned it was true I was overjoyed, but my heart has been so broken since then that I don’t think I’ve really processed how I feel about the new baby.
“But you and Ethan aren’t together?” Devon inquires gently, as if he’s trying to figure out some puzzle but is reluctant to search for the pieces.
“No,” I confirm. “In the New Year the pups and I are going back to the Dark Moon pack.”
“That’s quite a coincidence.” Devon says mysteriously, just as the waitress reappears.
“Are you alright honey?” The older woman asks me, a knowing look in her eye. “I’ve got some crackers that might settle your tummy, and some nice herbal tea if you’re not drinking caffeine.”
“I’m fine, but thank you.” I express, summoning a weak smile.
“You should eat something.” Devon insists, “You’ve got to keep your strength up.”
“Some crackers then.” I agree, dragging a hand through my hair. “Why is it a coincidence?”
“Because I’m moving to the Dark Moon pack in the New Year myself.” Devon replies, flashing me a grin.
“Really, why?” I inquire, barely able to keep up with our conversation because my head feels so fuzzy.
“I’m going to be the new Beta – you’re probably been too busy rescuing the pups and going off on adventures to keep up with the news. The Alpha just retired his old one.” Devon shares, looking pleased but not prideful or boastful.
“Congratulations, Devon!” I explain, moving to hug him. It seems like no matter how much time has passed, he’s still the little boy who taught me how to climb trees and used to race around with Ethan and I in the forest. Sitting in front of him now, it seems impossible that we’ve spent so many years apart. I’ve missed my friend, even if I’ve been too distracted by my disastrous marriage and rambunctious pups to realize it.
However I’m not steady enough to hug him – or so it would seem. I almost fall out of my chair when I reach for him, but he steadies me with another gentle smile. “You seem determined to give yourself a head injury today.”
“I’m not sure I’d mind one.” I confess ruefully. “
There’s a lot I’d like to forget right about now.”
Devon frowns, taking the chair next to mine. “Can I ask what happened?” He questions. “I don’t mean to be nosy, I just… I thought you and Ethan would be together forever.”
“It’s a long story” I exhale, pausing to smile and accept a cup of tea from the waitress. “And a pretty miserable one. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“If telling it won’t be too difficult for you.” He agrees.
I huff out a humorless laugh. I’ve never shared this story with anyone, not all the way from the beginning, not with someone who knows Ethan as well as I do. Slowly I begin telling the tale, pausing when I can’t find the right words, sipping my tea when I feel the emotion creeping up in my voice. I manage to make it all the way up to Ethan’s Rejection before I break down into tears, and then Devon curls an arm around my shoulders, not pressing me for details or trying to stop me crying, just patiently waiting until I find the strength to continue.
When it’s finally over I rub my eyes and shake myself, hating how pitiful I’m being. Every time I convince myself I’m over it, I realize I’ve been fooling myself. The emotion rushes forth with so much force that it staggers me, and I can’t help but think I’m an idiot for ever believing I could move past this.
“Shh, poor little wolf.” Devon croons, dabbing at my leaking eyes with a soft tissue. He doesn’t try to tell me it’s alright, or make excuses for his old friend, he simply hugs me and waits until I’ve ridden out the storm.
“I don’t understand it.” He finally says, when I’ve pulled myself together at last. “The Ethan I knew… he never would have taken anyone’s word above yours, or toyed with you that way. He certainly wouldn’t have rejected you and the pups.”
“The more time that passes the more I think I never knew Ethan at all.”I state bitterly. “He’s quite the chameleon, and a very talented actor to boot.”
“I’m so sorry.” Devon professes, rubbing my back. “
I never Would have left if I’d known.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I squeak, recalling his confession just before I fainted. “I never imagined you felt anything but friendship for me.”
“Would it have mattered?” Devon asks in return, arching one dark brow.
“No.”I hiccup miserably, “I never had eyes for anyone but Ethan. And look at where it’s got me.
“Well for one thing it’s gotten you four beautiful pups and another on the way.” Devon reasons,”
Surely they’ve been worth it all.”
“Of couse they have.” I snap defensively, bearing my fangs at him. “They’re worth any cost, any unhappiness or strife. And the new baby will be too, if I can get a strong enough handle on myself to give it the welcome it deserves.
“Easy mama bear.” Devon chuckles, “I just wanted to make sure you remembered that it hasn’t all been bad.”
“I know.” I sniffle. “And it’s not that I forget, or that I don’t appreciate how amazing they are. I just hate Ethan so much..”
“No you don’t.” Devon clucks sympathetically, stroking my hair. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”I nod miserably. “I wish I could hate him.
Instead I just hate myself. I hate how stupid I was not to learn from my mistakes.I vowed backwards and forwards that I would never let Ethan hurt me again, and then I let him trick me. It was fine when I was young and silly but I knew better now, and I had much more at stake. I repeated my own disastrous history without any concern for how it would hurt my pups.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.” Devon scolds, sounding surprisingly stern. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with opening your heart to love and taking a chance on happiness. You were brave, Jane. You spent four years living in fear and locking yourself away from the world, never letting anyone close, never taking any risks. But you found the courage to try again, to try and give your children the family they deserved.”
“And look at where it got me!” I exclaim, throwing up my hands. “Right back where I started.”
“Except now you finally have Paisley, and you’re going to have another baby to love. You have a successful business, and you don’t have to start from scratch this time. And you have me.” Devon grins, “It sounds like my move is happening at just the right time. I’d say you’re in need of a friend.”
“Just a friend?” I ask, uncertain. After all the man did just admit he’d been madly in love with me a few years ago.
“That depends,” Devon answers smoothly. “Are you open to more?”
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 188
Jane
As I consider Devon’s question, I’m inundated with memories of Eric. Unlike Devon, I’d always known Eric wanted to be more than just friends, and I’d considered dating him more than once. I thought he would be a safe partner because he’d never be able to hurt me the way Ethan did, and though I later learned the basis of our friendship was I lie, ultimately I’d been right. I was angry about his betrayal and angry at myself for trusting him, but it didn’t break my heart.
I don’t want to give Ethan the power to influence my decisions for the rest of my life, but it’s hard not feel of r0mance after everything I’ve been through with him. I hate to say it Devon, but I don’t think I see r0mance in my future at all. With anyone.” I finally reply, feeling ashamed of my own cowardice, yet also completely trapped by it.
“Oh Jane, don’t say that.” Devon replies, sounding truly pained by the idea. Though I don’t think his pain is for his own dashed hopes, but to hear me speaking so cynically. “You’re breaking my heart here. You’re only twenty-five, you’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let Ethan take away your future happiness on top of everything else he’s done.
“I don’t want to.” I hiccup, heaving in a shaky breath. But I can’t help it. The idea of being close to anyone that way again terrifies me. And I have my pups to think about. I’ve seen what happens when they get attached to someone and then that person goes away.”
Devon is shaking his head, his own eyes shining. “I could kill Ethan for what he’s done to you. I feel like I’m looking at a shadow of the girl I knew.”
“I am a shadow.” I confess, wrapping my arms around myself. “I feel like my heart has been completely hollowed out, only I know that can’t be, because if it were really empty then I wouldn’t hurt so much.
Devon shakes his head and pulls me into a hug, and I’m amazed at how familiar his arms feel. I let myself lean into his warmth, taking the comfort he’s selflessly offering. I’m surprised to discover that I do feel safe with him, not because I believe I couldn’t feel strongly enough for him to be hurt like I did with Eric, but because I’ve known him almost my whole life. I knew who he was before he went away, and though he’s undoubtedly changed on his journey, he still feels like my Devon.
I don’t know if I can ever love anyone other than Ethan.”I say, speaking into the curve of his neck.
But I’m willing to try. You’ll have to be patient with me though. I’m not good at letting people get close to me.
Devon chuckles. “I’m proud that you’re brave enough to try again, Janey. But I don’t think you’re going to be ready for anything like that for quite some time.
“I.. but you asked,” I murmur, confused.
I know.” He replies, because you wanted to know my intentions. Now I’ll tell you right now that, when you are ready, I’ll be here waiting. But I think you need a friend right now, not a lover.”
Already the differences between Ethan and Devon are glaringly obvious, and I wonder if I didn’t make the wrong choice all those years ago. I don’t want to be one of those women who continuously falls for bad men, and when I was young I probably mistook strength for safety. Now I know better. So do I try to change, do I take a chance on someone who is good and honest and true? Or do I hang my hopes on men who excite me even if they might destroy me?
“Thank you.” I breathe, squeezing Devon’s middle as tightly as I can. He squeezes me back, and I make a terrifying decision. “Will you do something for me, then. As a friend?”
“Anything.” He agrees easily.
“Don’t let me make you wait too long? I mean, I don’t want you to pressure me, but don’t let me forget it either. Don’t just let me off the hook by saying I’m not ready. If you let me, I’ll crawl back inside myself like I did before and close myself off from the world. And I don’t want to do that anymore.
I want to be brave”
Now that’s a promise I can easily make.” Devon says, and I can hear the grin in his voice. We’re going to get you through this, Jane.”
When I get home after my coffee with Devon, I find Ethan waiting with an eager expression on his face.
Well, how did it go?”
I do a double take, astonished to hear him inquiring like an excited roommate after coming home from a first date. “It was rather illuminating.” I admit, crossing my arms over my chest and shooting him a glare. “Apparently when you told me Devon left all those years ago, you lied to my face when I asked you why.”
Something flashes in Ethan’s eyes, and I think I might be hallucinating, because it almost looked like pleasure. However when he speaks, his voice is cold and biting, and I know I must have imagined it. “He was already gone. I didn’t see what difference it would make.”
You didn’t think I had a right to know he left because of me?” I inquire.
I think you have a soft heart and you would have asked him to return, and I wasn’t going to have that.
I made him leave for a reason.” He scowls.
“I….you made him go?” I repeat, unsure if I misunderstood him, or if Devon was being kinder to my ex-husband than I realized when he explained his departure.
You didn’t really believe I would let him stay knowing he would be drooling all over my mate, did you?” Ethan hisses.
I stagger backwards, unsure why I’m surprised.
Haven’t I learned my lesson by now? Why does it shock me to learn Ethan did despicable things even before he showed his true nature to me. “He was your best friend! He was loyal to you and the pack above everything else. He never would have made a move on me!
If he was really loyal to me, he wouldn’t have ever looked at you at all.” He remarks angrily.
That isn’t fair, you can’t decide who to love. It doesn’t work that way.” I object. Even as chosen mates, I know that the heart does exactly what it wants and no power on earth can reason with it once it’s made up its mind. Ethan’s rejection of his fated mate proved that much.
Well that’s obvious enough. I certainly wouldn’t have picked you if I had the choice. A real choice, that is.” He snipes, as if reading my mind. “So tell me, is he still hung up on you?”
I don’t know exactly.” I answer, trying not to show how badly his words hurt. “He offered his friendship, and suggested we might date down the line.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this – I Suppose part of me wants to see how he‘ll react. To test whether or not he still feels any lingering possessiveness for me.
I think you should go out with him.” Ethan suggests, shocking me further. After all, I’m done with you. If he wants my sloppy seconds, so be it.
I reel back, feeling as if I’ve been slapped. It only takes me a moment to rebound, rage swelling up inside me. Fine.” I snap, wanting to shock him too, wanting to hurt him the way he hurt me. I’Il ask him out right now!”
Fuming, I dial Devon’s number, newly added to my contacts. Pacing as the line rings, I try to calm down.
My hands are shaking I’m so furious. Ethan hasn’t been quite so horrible the last few days, but I suppose we’ve been spending most of our time with the pups rather than being alone together. Of course he wouldn’t be so cruel in front of the children. I’m still glaring at Ethan when he picks up, half expecting to come over and rip the phone from my hands.
Well hello there.” His warm voice greets me. “You miss me already?”
You caught me, How is it possible he can make me laugh when I was so angry a moment ago? “Do you have any plans for New Years?””
“Not yet.” He replies, his deep voice open and curious. What do you have in mind?”
There’s a big celebration downtown, I was going to take the pups. Maybe you’d like to join us?” I invite, figuring that this will be a good test. No one has better as-sh0le -radar than children. Besides, If the pups like him I’ll feel better about letting him into my life, and if they don’t, I’ll know that we need to proceed very carefully.
I can hear the smile in Devon’s voice. I’d love to.
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 189
Ethan
The morning after we run into Devon, I’ve only been in my office at the pack headquarters for about an hour before he comes barging in, his silver eyes blazing with barely contained fury.
“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend?” He snarls, slamming his hands down on my desk and glaring at me.
I wondered how long it would take you.” I drawl, leaning back in my chair. “I see you’re still head over heels for Jane, then? If you’re this upset about her being upset. ” My wolf is grumbling mutinously in my head, but this is exactly what I hoped for. I thought long and hard about whether I should let Devon in on my secret, but I think it’s best he knows. I can trust him every bit as much as I can trust Matthew, and it can’t hurt to have another wolf on the lookout for dangerous behavior.
“It has nothing to do with my feelings for Jane.”
Devon thunders, “I would be disturbed to see any she -wolf treated the way you’ve treated her, and especially by someone I once considered a brother.
Do you have any idea the state she’s in?”
“Of course I do.” I reply simply. “It’s why I let her stay with me this last week. I couldn’t just throw her out onto the street when she was so unstable.”
“Unstable?” He repeats, as if he can’t believe his ears. “She’s pregnant and only just survived a kidnapping with her pups, only for her mate to reject her – it’s a miracle she’s still standing. You know she fainted when we were together yesterday?
What?” I utter in surprise, sitting up a little straighter. “She never said.'”
Oh so you do still care. Devon glowers, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “What kind of an Alpha are you, abandoning your family this way?”
“If you can calm down long enough to listen, I can explain.” I sigh, letting some of my own anguish show.
Devon seems taken aback by my abrupt shift in tone, and the emotion which is certainly shining through my eyes. Still, he doesn’t give in too easily.What possible explanation can there be for your behavior?”
Taking a deep breath, I rise to my feet, untucking my shirt and lifting it to show him the top of my braces.
My skin is bloody where the metal is digging into me, and though it might not be obvious that they extend all the way down to my feet, it should be clear enough that something is wrong. “They’re not safe with me anymore.”
Devons eyes are wide as he takes in the gorey sight, and I know he doesn’t quite understand. “What are those?”
“Sit down, and I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything.” I offer.
He does, and over the next half hour, I tell him the story from beginning to finish. My diagnosis, the implications for Jane and the pups, the journey I went through to reach my current mindset, and my plans for looking after my family from afar. Devon has tears in his eyes by the end, and I realize our bond as brothers never severed no matter the distance between us.
Ethan,'” He says once I’m finished, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re a f*****g idiot.”
For which part?” I inquire, not offended in the least.
For all of it!” He bursts. “Jane and the pups love you! Don’t you think they would rather spend your remaining time with you than be forced away! Don’t you think they should get to decide if they deserve you! I admit you screwed up royally the way you handled the Eve situation, but you weren’t yourself either after the Southern Isles. It took you time to work through your depression and reach a healthier mindset, Jane still being upset – especially when she’s pregnant and hormonal – doesn’t mean you’re no good for her.”
“Devon, she offered to become my slave again, if I would take the pups back.” I share, revealing one of the few details I left out of the story.
Devon visibly recoils, his dark skin losing some of it’s color. “You’re serious?” He chokes.
Yes.” I confirm. “And it’s not just about what they would want. They simply aren’t safe with me. I can’t protect them. I realized, when we saw you yesterday, how selfish I’d been about Jane from the beginning.
I’m trying to do the right thing and let her go the way you did. If I had been truly worthy of her I would have given her the choice between us, I would have trusted her more than Eve, I would have paid attention enough to see she was miserable in our marriage. This isn’t just about my injury.”
Devon’s head is in his hands. I still think …
Listen, I don’t know how much time I have left. But I’m determined to fix things, whether I live cr die, and that starts with giving Jane and the pups the life they deserve. And I want you to help.” I declare firmly.
He frowns. “You want me to lie for you? To help you push them away knowing they would rather suffer the sadness and the risks?”
Yes.” I confirm. “I’ve already set things in motion for the future. I have a plan in place in case I go mad before the doctors can find a cure, and contingencies to continue helping my family after I’m gone. I hope I survive and I’ll continue looking out for them as long as I can, but I can’t do it alone.”
He shakes his head. “I think you’re giving me too much credit. I’ve changed over the years too. I have my own secrets, things you wouldn’t like, wouldn’t want me near your family if you knew. I’m not the role model you want for your sons.”
Would you ever hurt them?” I counter, wondering what’s happened to him in the years we’ve been parted. Would you trick them or be cruel, even if you thought it was in their best interest?”
He frowns, still shaking his head, That’s not the point.”
Just answer the question.” I press, knowing the answer already.
“No, but – Devon tries to protest.
“And are you still my friend?” I inquire, knowing
I’m playing dirty now.
‘Ethan I’ll always be your friend.” He states, clearly exasperated. But-“
“Devon, this is my dying wish.” I announce, wouldn’t deny your oldest friend his dying wish, would you?”
He narrows his eyes at me. You manipulative bastard.”
I flash my fangs. “Is that a yes?”
You
When I get home, still replaying my conversation with Devon in my head, I find Jane reading in the living room. I c**k my ears for the pups, hearing four sleeping heart rates and even breathing. Good, I think, They’re napping. The perfect opportunity for me to give my mate a talking to.
Jane looks up when I enter, schooling her features not to show any emotion. She only acknowledges me long enough to ensure I’m not a stranger entering the home, then looks back to her book. I cross the room to stand before her, towering over her and thinking how stunning she is even as I cross my arms over my chest. “Were you planning on telling me you fainted yesterday?”
Surprise registers on her features, though she tries to cover it. “Who told you?”
Wrong answer.” I growl.
What do you care?” She snaps, Pregnant women faint. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“What if you hadn’t been with Devon, what if you’d been alone with the pups. Do you have any idea how frightened they would have been?” I ask, both out of genuine worry and to cover my concern for Jane. If Devon hadn’t been there to catch her she might have landed on the concrete and gotten a head injury, she could have fallen into the street and been run over.
For a moment I can see my words making an impact on Jane, her face drawing in concern as she considers this possibility. “I think I ought to hire you a nanny.”
Immediately the emotion on my mate’s lovely face is replaced with anger. “Oh that’s rich. You don’t want to be a father yourself, you just want to pay someone to do it for you. Or do you think I’m so incompetent that I can’t care for the pups on my own anymore.”
Call it both.” I shrug.
Jane growls, actually growls at me, and I feel a burst of pride in my chest. That’s my fierce girl. I think, loving that she’s finding her strength again.
However a moment later I hear four tiny gasps, and I realize that in my concern for Jane, I stopped listening to ensure the pups are still sleeping. Too late, I realize that their heart rates now match waking rhythms, and their breath is no longer soft and steady.
My heart sinks. They’re awake. And they’re listening at the door.
The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 190
3rd Person
Paisley huddled behind Riley, Ryder and Parker, a deep frown tugging on her young features.
When the pups woke from their nap, they initially jumped out of bed to rush out and see their parents, but the sounds of tense voices stopped them short.
Indulging their Goddess-given talents for eavesdropping, the pups listened as Ethan insulted Jane and confirmed he didn’t want to be a father. Of course, Paisley knew the truth behind these lies. She knew her father was pushing away Jane and his children for their own good, but her siblings did not.
I don’t unders’and.” Parker whispered, looking thunderstruck. “Mommy said it was her ‘cision to leave Daddy.”
Why is he being so mean?” Riley whimpered in reply.
Paisley kept her mouth tightly shut. She might know her father’s motivations, but she didn’t find it any easier to hear him speak that way than her brothers and sister did. Ethan had explained he had to pretend to be mean, but it was one thing to know that, and another to hear it happen with her own ears. It was too confusing. Questions swirled through her mind, every bit as urgent as the ones Riley, Ryder and Parker were asking. Could a person really make up such horrible things? Could they inflict so much pain and still be nice- as nice as her Daddy? Or was the niceness the lie? Was it possible for cruelty to ever be the right thing to do?
Why didn’t Mommy tell us?” Ryder inquired, his voice very small.
Cuz she didn’t want us to feel bad.” Paisley supplied gravely, feeling a lump in her throat.
They’d all been so angry at Jane, they’d made it so hard on her. “She was trying to pwotect us.
Dr. Nora was right.” Parker mused miserably, referring to their therapist. How many times had she told them that Jane was doing what she believed was best for them, that she loved them and wanted them to be happy, but grown up things are complicated.
Before they could say any more, the bedroom door swung open, and then Ethan was there, looking down at them. They turned their faces up to their father, wearing identical glares. Ethan’s expression was carefully blank, as if he’d been preparing for this – as if he’d schooled himself not to react when the time came to reveal himself as a villain. Behind him, Jane’s eyes were wide, her hand clasped over her mouth. Her green eyes were shining with tears, and her free hand was pressed to her belly, as if she would protect her unborn child from this.
What have you done?” She demanded at his back, looking frantically back and forth between him and her babies. When she saw the looks on their faces, she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to attack Ethan or weep. Jane had been through so much effort, struggle and heartache trying to prevent this exact scenario. She’d never wanted the pups to know he didn’t want them – never. She truly thought she could kill Ethan for this, she hated him for hurting her pups this way.
This was going to happen eventually, Jane.” Ethan answered resignedly.
It didn’t have to!” Jane exploded, tears streaming down her cheeks. They’re too little, Ethan! This is going to affect them for the rest of their lives, don’t you understand that!”
As soon as Jane started crying, the pups pushed past Ethan and ran to her side, wrapping their arms tightly around her. “Don’t cry, Mommy.” Riley begged.
It’s okay, we’re okay.” Parker added, pulling Jane down so that they could cuddle her properly, climbing into her arms and pressing soft k!sses to her tear-stained face.
“Mommy you taste salty.” Ryder informed her, knowing it would make her laugh. So she did, hiccupping a chuckle and trying to slow the deluge of her sadness.
Only Paisley stayed behind, looking up at her father with all her mixed up emotions and questions written on her sweet face. Ethan studied her, letting his expressions become tender. He mouthed, it’s okay, and nodded in the direction of Jane, encouraging her to go comfort her with her siblings.
Paisley shook her head. She was so confused over his cruelty, he – who had never even raised his voice at her; who was always calm, always kind, even when he was angry; who had always been her fiercest protector. Even so, she could sense how badly it was hurting him too. She didn’t want to leave him all alone. He might not be crying on the outside, but she could practically hear his wolf’s internal howls of agony. So Paisley ignored his instructions, instead she stepped forward and wrapped herself around both his legs.
I still love you, Daddy.” She whispered, pressing her cheek to his thigh, closing her eyes and squeezing with all her might. As soon as her warm little body connected with his, something broke in Ethan, and suddenly he was fighting back tears too.
Paisley felt the shift in his mood, her sharp intuition detecting the change in his energy. See, she wanted to say, mean Daddies need cuddles too. Instead she simply held on tighter, pouring all her love out through her arms, and hoping Ethan could feel it, even if he couldn’t return it right now.
Ever since the pups overheard Ethan and Jane arguing, the Penthouse had been a tense and prickly place to live. Everyone walked around as if on eggshells, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
As the days passed, Jane felt more and more confident about taking the pups home in the new year. With the exception of Paisley, the children were refusing to speak to their father, and all the playful energy which had filled the house before was gone.
Jane was still devastated that her pups knew the truth about Ethan, but she couldn’t turn back time and she knew they couldn’t undo the damage. When they returned to the Dark Moon pack she would take them to Dr. Nora to immediately begin working through this newest trauma, and with any luck she could make them feel so loved and wanted that they would never feel abandoned. She was also excited to think she had a new friend at home, and was eager to introduce the pups to Devon.
Jane spent all morning New Years Eve looking forward to their date, eager to get herself and the pups out of the house, as well as to catch up with her friend. She caught herself wondering about Devon, her mind wandering to the beta over and over throughout the day. She was even thinking about him as she went through her emails, so preoccupied wondering what he’d been up to all these years that she almost missed a welcome email from the Dark Moon Academy.
She froze when she saw it, believing she must be misreading the subject line. The Dark Moon Academy was the most exclusive private school in the territory. In fact, it was so elite that the institution didn’t even accept applications students had to be invited to attend, and only the children of the most powerful members of the pack were ever accepted. Jane never dreamed her pups would be considered – first because they would take up four spots in the same year, and second because though she was wealthy, she had never become involved in pack politics. She was too afraid of being connected back to Ethan, so she’d kept to herself, working hard to make her business succeed but never accumulating the kind of power or influence as the people who sent their children to the Academy.
She opened the email, still convinced it was some sort of mistake. However the first line, clearly reading: Congratulations, the Dark Moon Academy is pleased to invite your pups, Ryder, Riley, Parker and Paisley Blackwell to attend kindergarten at our institution in the New Year! We are also pleased to offer your children a full scholarship for the duration of their study.
Jane gaped at the screen, even as excitement bubbled up inside of her. Just then, Ethan walked into the room. “Ethan, I just got an acceptance email from the Dark Moon Academy for the pups!” She exclaimed, forgetting herself and beaming at him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, trying to remember the last time Jane smiled at him that way. However, rather than showing his joy to see her so happy, he gave her a nonplussed look, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”
“Ethan, it’s the best school in the territory, maybe on the continent. People dream of sending their children there but no one ever gets in!” She explained, getting more and more excited with every word. I don’t understand how this happened! I mean, you… you didn’t put in a call or anything… did you?”
Ethan rolled his eyes. “Jane, your true identity was revealed months ago, everyone knows you were the Nightfang Luna now – they know the pups are mine, I’m sure that’s all it is.” He lied. In fact, he had put in several calls to the Academy making sure that the school board made room for his pups at the institution. After all, they’d assumed his children would be schooled in the Nightfang territory, but they were thrilled when they found out this wasn’t the case. The headmaster had taken some convincing about the scholarship lie – because Ethan was paying for their tuition out of his own pocket, but in the end he’d agreed to the scheme.
Jane wasn’t listening, she was on her feet celebrating – jumping up and down. As Ethan watched, fighting back a smile, Jane paused to scoop up the pups pet bunny, Mr. Fluff when he hopped into the room. She raised the bunny up to look into his face. “Can you believe it, Mr. Fluff? My little geniuses are going to the best school in the world!”
Then she started singing, twirling the bunny around as if he was her dance partner.“This is amazing!
This is amazing!”
Ethan watched, feeling more and more confident with his plan. This was going to work, he thought, relief washing over him. I can make her happy again, I can give them all the life they deserve… He stepped out of the room before Jane could see him smile. This is going to work.