Ch. 181..185: The Rogue is a Female Alpha chapter 181-185
Back Where 181
My carriage arrived inside Ash Pack and I stepped out with Blue beside me, feeling it at once. The difference in the air. The changes. The simmering hostility.
Shrugging it off, I walked into my bedchamber, only to meet Jurrek rushing from the hall to greet me. I ignored him and went inside.
Isolde hurried after me and bowed low.
“My lady, your aunt came last night. She has been… blunt with her words.”
I sighed shakily at that and turned toward the fractured mirror resting on my dresser. Now I was more afraid than ever to look into it and check on Varyn. What if I saw him tortured next?
I bit my lip, looking away, just as the door opened softly and another maid entered.
“My lady, Beta Jurrek seeks audience with you.”
The words made me stiffen. He hadn’t been there yesterday. Like a passing wind, he had vanished when I needed his strength the most. He was supposed to have stood at my side when I entered Wolf Fortress.
“Let him in,” I said at last as I lowered myself into a chair. A soft sigh escaped me as the door opened and I felt his presence.
I turned gently to face him, then nodded to my maids.
“Leave us.” They bowed and slipped away, closing the door behind them. I would not scold Jurrek in their presence. Never.
After their departure, I kept my gaze fixed on him. Somehow, I wanted to weep. He hadn’t been there, and I hated him for it.
“I won’t apologize, because I know I don’t deserve forgiveness,” he said quietly. “But I swear, I will never leave your side without your word again.”
His words stirred something deep in me, and slowly the anger began to wither.
“Fix a meeting with the elders, Jurrek,” I said softly. He nodded, turning to go until I stopped him with a whisper. “I’m sorry,”
He paused, turned slowly, his eyes confused. He couldn’t tell why I would apologize.
“In seven days, I won’t be Alpha anymore. I think I failed my oath.”
He strode closer, stopping before me, his gaze steady, not of a beta, but of a brother.
“You won’t blame yourself for this. You won’t break, not yet. Not until it’s over and you are in the arms of your King. This is the hardest part, Zephyr. We must endure. The Warlord, the First Ashmere, laid down a legacy too great to fall. It will not collapse in our time. You won’t let it. Do you understand me?”
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Goosebumps rose across my skin and I nodded. Of course. It would not fall under my reign. I would not
let them.
I entered the meeting hall that afternoon, and the elders were already seated when the door closed behind me. The tension in the room was thick and no blade could slice through it. Thinking of blades, I remembered the blood I spilled yesterday.
I walked to my seat, Dessyn’s farewell words still echoing in my head. I had left her behind in White Pack with a promise to stay in touch. If she had followed me here, she would never know rest. So I left Varyn’s sword with her instead. It was his life made steel. If anyone deserved to guard it, it was her.
“We have received orders from the Imperium Council, Alpha Zephyrine… or perhaps I should simply call you Zephyr,” one elder said. I froze mid-step.
“Was it true your father bribed his way to victories? Colluded with demons, only to grasp glory as Warlord?”
Another elder spoke, and this time I refused to sit. I stood still, eyes burning into theirs, my aunt’s most of all, for her glare was sharper than any sword.
“My father never colluded with demons. My family, the Ashmeres, and countless others who fought five years ago were slaughtered. Not by demons, but by our own kind. Railan, Lord Osmir’s son, confessed it himself yesterday. He killed…”
“He did so because your father was a traitor!” my aunt cut me off. I went still. “Railan is a fine warrior, one who acts only when facts are clear. He was given orders because your parents instigated war to steal glory. He had no choice but to kill them for peace. And you… you severed his arm in cold blood!”
Her words struck me like a spear. My aunt, the one who introduced me to Railan, spoke now as though she had always known. Betrayal crawled through me, sharp and merciless.
I lowered my gaze, steadying the storm rising in my chest as I flop on the chair.
“I will need an army,” I said softly, wearily. I had no strength left to argue. “Eight hundred soldiers at least. It is not enough, but it will…”
“We will not sign any scroll of war, Zephyr,” another elder interrupted. “You are no longer Alpha. The Imperium Council will name a new one. We are already in talks, an elegant woman, the envoy of peace. No one will follow a traitor Ashmere again.”
Before I could answer, they began dispersing. One by one leaving me stunned in my seat.
“Vale was always dangerous. I warned my sister against him, yet your mother let him corrupt her. And you, you are just like Seraphine. You let the cursed King corrupt you too,” my aunt sneered, lingering behind. “There was never peace for you, Zephyr. Perhaps it is time you hand this pack to someone capable, and rest. Your thirst, like your mother’s, will never come to pass.”
She swept out, leaving me hollow, leaving me shattered. I stared blankly for what felt like eternity, feeling Jurrek still standing behind me.
I bit my lip, steadying myself. Jurrek had said this was only a trial. Lycannar had said once Varyn returned, the truth would rise. But I could not enter Blackwater without an army.
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“Jurrek?” I whispered. He stepped forward, waiting. “Send a letter to Commander Thorn at Moonveil Fortress. Tell him I require an audience. Tell him I need soldiers.”
Back Where 182
I stamped the reports, trying hard to focus on the content, but I couldn’t. The more I forced myself, the more I lost focus. All I could worry about was her. Zephyrine.
At last, I dropped the royal seal back into its place, to the confusion of Baron, my beta, and the elders.
Slowly, I bowed my head, my face creasing into a small frown. Behind me, I felt Chantel stir, always ready for anything.
I swallowed hard, lowered my gaze, and sighed. Then I rose from my seat and walked to the window to draw a deep breath.
War. Killing and taking lives. Wounds etched into the mind forever.
I had gone to the battlefield. I had won but I lost myself. I made it back alive, but in truth I was dead, buried under the weight of trauma.
I had sworn never to touch a blade again after the war five years ago. The war with the Ashmeres, led by my brother Hades. Yet somehow… this war, the one to free her brother… I wanted to join it. If that was what it took to keep her safe, to steady her, to bring her back to herself, then so be it.
“Your Majesty, are you well?” My uncle Dareth’s voice broke the silence, and I turned slowly to face him.
Chantel’s words echoed in my mind about Dareth entertaining a woman while the rest of us had gone to Ash Pack for the Alpha’s ascension.
Who was this woman?
As much as I hated my father, an evil, abusive man, he had always loved one woman. My mother. And he had told me once that I took her from him at birth. That was why he swore to make me suffer. And suffer I did.
I lowered my gaze from my uncle Dareth and turned back to the window. His question came again.
“If you are not feeling well, you can rest. Leave the task to your beta. Hand him the royal seal, let him
continue the work.”
I paused, staring at him again. The royal seal. Again. Why?
Turning back to the window, I swallowed hard. Being King was a burden. A heavy, merciless burden.
“I’ll continue tomorrow,” I said quietly and walked out of the hall, through the dining chamber, and into the tower stairs when suddenly, the chill hit me.
A cold shiver ran down my spine. I mounted the stairs quickly, bursting into the dim hallway. I pushed open the door of my living room only to find her there, seated comfortably in a chair.
Xyrrha,
What?
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“Ah, you’re here,” she said softly, looking up at me with a grin. “Welcome, Your Majesty.”
“Get out.” My voice was steel, but she didn’t move. Goosebumps prickled my skin.
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“I saw Hades give you the letters. That means you learned the truth of who sent the Blood Army to the frontlines, isolated. It wasn’t me. It was your father’s order. And yet you broke up with me for that. Don’t you think I deserve an apology?”
I swallowed and nodded quickly.
“Fine. I apologize for the misunderstanding. Now leave.”
“Why?” she asked again, rising to her feet and swaying toward me, her body writhing seductively. She reached for my chest, but I stepped back, jaw clenched.
“Leave, Xyrrha. Don’t make me use force.”
“Because of the woman you’re courting?” she pressed. I swallowed again. “You don’t want her to find me here, in your tower, and think the wrong thing?”
She smiled slyly.
“It’s behind us now, Apex. I’m only here as your cousin. Oh wait. You didn’t tell her yet? That you’re part demon?” She chuckled. “I wonder how she’ll react when she finds out. She’ll run for her life.”
“Shut up. She’s nothing like you,” I muttered, tired. “If you want to stay as my cousin, go to my sisters’ quarters. They’ll give you a room.”
I tried to pass, but she grabbed my arm, freezing me in place. I turned slowly, meeting her pleading eyes.
“Life has been empty since you left me, Apex. I’ll leave tomorrow night. Just let me stay until then. I won’t try anything, I swear.”
I didn’t answer. I only pulled free and walked into my bedchamber. She couldn’t cross that threshold. No one could, except Chantel, myself, and her, Zephyrine.
I sank into a chair, sighing heavily. It pressed on me, crushing down, though it wasn’t even my burden. I knew it came from the amulet at her neck.
I could feel it. Her emotions bleeding through it. I swallowed hard, closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. But then footsteps approached.
The living room door opened. Silence, then pause. Whoever entered must have seen Xyrrha.
I rose and stepped into the room, finding my eldest sister standing there. Her eyes shifted from Xyrrha to me. She shut the door behind her without a word.
I followed quickly, catching her wrist at the foot of the stairs, forcing her to stop. She turned, disbelief
etched in her face.
“What are you doing, Lycannar? Why is she here?”
“Nothing. She’s leaving tomorrow night.”
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“Really? And if your woman arrives and finds her here… you think she’ll believe that?”
“I’m done with Nyrrha. She’s only here as my cousin, Mearez.”
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“Oh, perfect. So you’ll tell Zephyrine that Xyrrha isn’t here as your ex, but as your cousin? You’re ready to open up to her that Xyrrha was once your lover? Really, Lycannar? After you finally found love?”
I said nothing. Couldn’t. The sadness bleeding from Zephyrine’s heart weighed on me, crushing me harder than my sister’s words. What had happened to her today?
1 clenched my jaw against the heaviness and finally nodded.
“She’ll be gone tomorrow night, Mearez.”
She pulled her wrist from my grip.
“How I wish it were a mistress in your tower, rather than that vile woman. I pray your woman never finds her here.” ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ʙʏ find⁂novel.net
She left, leaving me cold.
I had tried to pinpoint it, but the harder I tried, the less I understood. Mearez-my gentlest sister—had always carried a silent grudge against Xyrrha. A hatred I couldn’t trace.
Had Xyrrha done something to her in the past? Something unforgivable?
Back Where 183
The last time the massive gate of Moonveil opened for me was when I came to get my parents’ ashes, but today I walked through it for an entirely different reason. To demand soldiers.
I stepped down from my carriage and crossed the large stone space, greeted at once by the guard at the front.
“Alpha Zephyrine. Commander Thorn is in the Iron Chamber waiting.”
I nodded and walked on, Blue at my side, my heart heaving. What happened yesterday had gouged a deep hole in me, and with each second ticking by, I knew my brother suffered in the place I had landed him.
The doors of the Iron Chamber opened as I approached, and there he was, Commander Thorn, sitting with a report in hand. The instant he felt my presence, he looked up.
Our eyes met, and my heart went still. The journey from Ash Pack to Moonveil this morning had been heavy, my chest weighed down with trouble and doubt.
Last night had dragged on endlessly. After the rejection from my elders and my own aunt, I had retired to my chamber, waiting for word. Jurrek Bane had returned at last, bringing me a fragment of hope. Commander Thorn had responded and would receive me.
Still, doubts haunted me the whole way here. What if Thorn believed the Council’s lies? What if he, too, thought the Ashmeres were traitors? What if…
The thoughts stilled in my mind as he rose at last and came toward me. His eyes carried too many emotions, and I lowered my gaze, biting my lip, almost ashamed for doubting him.
“When I heard the rumors,” he said, voice heavy, “I couldn’t even believe my ears. Why would the Imperium Council, who delivered the orders themselves, now claim your father was a traitor?”
I couldn’t answer. I only stood in silence, until Commander Thorn sighed and gestured me toward a seat. I lowered myself down, my pulse racing.
He glanced at Blue, then back at me. I nodded.
“It’s fine. I trust her.”
“Sit, young lady,” he said gently to Blue. She bowed in gratitude and took a seat a few chairs away.
Commander Thorn sighed again, moving to sit across from me, resting his hands on the table that divided
us,
“Zephyr,” he began, “I should congratulate you. Ascending the seat of your forefathers, carrying the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Nothing could have made the Warlord more proud or your mother. Even Varyn.” He paused, eyes searching me. “How did it come to this? I received your letter, that you wanted soldiers. For what?”
“War,” I answered without hesitation, meeting his gaze. “War, Commander Thorn. Against Blackwater.”
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His brows furrowed deeply.
“Blackwater?”
I swallowed hard, then nodded.
“That’s where Varyn is. I found him.” My voice dropped, almost trembling.
His eyes widened in shock.
Your brother is… alive?”
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Alive, but not well. He’s dying, and I have to move fast. Stone of Blackwater won’t release him without a battle, and I’m ready, ready to shed blood, to make heads roll. If I can get my brother back, he will stand before the Imperium Council himself to shatter their lies. I need soldiers, Commander Thorn. I need to save him.”
Silence fell heavy after my words. I could hear his heartbeat quicken, pounding with awe. Who would have hought it? That Varyn Ashmere lived, somewhere, after all these years.
At last, Commander Thorn lowered his gaze and shook his head slowly.
Your hope must have kept him alive all this time. That unwavering belief. I’m glad for you, Zephyr. And I will support you. Moonveil Fortress will always stand behind the Ashmeres.” His words swelled my heart antil he added the blow.
‘But I have grim news. Soldiers won’t march with you until you clear your name. After I shared your request, they refused. They won’t follow into battle. The Council’s words… they sound too much like truth. Every warrior from the first wave, five years ago, none returned home.”
That was because Railan slaughtered them!” I snapped, my voice breaking. “He said he received orders. from the Council itself. They’re the ones who killed my parents and the Ashmeres. Don’t you see?”
He fell silent for a long moment, then finally nodded.
I believe you. I trust every word. The soldiers who still believe in the Ashmeres have stepped forward and they’d die for you, if it came to it. But… they are few. Only one hundred and twenty men, Zephyr. That is all. What should we do?”
The words cut through me like a blade. My heart sank.
What? After all my family had done only one hundred and twenty men? Out of thousands in Moonveil?
Grief washed over me and I bowed my head. It would never be enough. Not even close. I thought of my brother, rotting away in that pit, and sighed shakily, raising my eyes back to Commander Thorn
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“Please do, Zephyr. Picase. And my heart goes with you. Never hesitate to reach for me. Never hesitate.”
Back Where 184
Zephyrine
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I made my way on foot into the Lycan Kingdom. Tired, but a little hopeful. Why? Because I was here, and soon, I would be in his arms.
I had ridden as far as White Pack but hadn’t gone in. I only waited until I saw Blue step down from the carriage and disappear into the Dusk home. Only then did I turn away and head here.
It was night, the cold breeze biting sharper than usual, but I embraced it. Anything was better than dwelling too long on the ache in my chest. Commander Thorn was still on my side, and one hundred and wenty warriors still stood with Ashmere. That alone gave me a fragment of relief.
I walked the long hallways in silence, passing maids, guards, and Lycan citizens who bowed in respect as I went by.
reached the dining hall and stopped at the doorway, my gaze falling on the great table.
Memories struck me. Lycannar and I had made love there once, too desperate to wait until we reached his chamber. Fierce, burning, wild. I swallowed at the thought, a small smile tugging at my lips before I forced nyself to move.
climbed the stairs. Tonight, I would stay over. I had carried a burden in my heart for days, and I deserved king’s arms to rest in.
But as I reached the dim hallway, I froze.
instead of warmth, instead of the familiar pull of love and safety, what washed over me was darkness. Heavy. Chilling. And far too familiar.
Step by step, I moved toward his living room. I pushed the door open.
There, seated at the table, back to me, a woman. Her long hair tumbled down, and she wore one of Lycannar’s shirts. She sat relaxed, reading a book, like this was not her first time… but her place.
My heart, which had been thudding with relief, now crashed into chaos. Even before she looked up, I knew. The moment she closed the book and turned, my knees weakened.
The war general. From the battlefield years ago.
A demon
Bere. At ease. In his home.
Goosebumps crawled across my skin. Lycanmar’s words echoed in my head about another portal besides the one I destroyed.
She was his ex. And here she was. Why?
My eyes darted toward the bedchamber. I rushed there, shoved the door open but he wasn’t inside. Empty,
Swallowing hard, I turned to leave, only to find her in the doorway, blocking me. The demon war general.
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“Goddess of War,” she murmured, shock flickering across her face. “You… you’re Apex’s woman?”
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I gulped. He must have told her that much. Relief stirred faintly, but then something twisted inside me. The way she looked at me like she couldn’t believe I was the one he chose.
“My gods,” she whispered. “You’re the one Apex is courting?
Hearing her voice made my skin prickle. She spoke like us, like a shifter but I said nothing. I only tried to walk past her, until her voice turned cold.
“He’s not going to end up with you, wolf. You’re just another amusement to him. It will end, just as it always does. Last night, when he made love to me, I remembered what it felt like. He will too.”
I froze. Turned sharply. My face went pale.
Did she just…
Anger, jealousy, misery crashed over me in one wave.’I blinked once, then stormed past her, refusing to give her the satisfaction of a reply.
By the time I reached the stairs, my breath had grown uneven. By the time I reached the massive gates, I trembled. Under the open night sky, I stood there, shaking.
The agony that flooded me was enough to make tears sting, but I swallowed them down.
No. Not yet, Zephyrine.
I sniffed, steadied myself, then sped toward White Pack. I pushed through the Dusk household, past the dining hall where everyone gathered, without sparing them a glance.
I rushed straight to Dessyn’s chamber, flung myself onto her bed but the ache in my chest wouldn’t let me rest. It gnawed at me, sharp and merciless.
I bolted into the bath chamber, stripping fast, nails scratching skin until it bled as I clawed my clothes off. When the gown fell at my feet, I stepped into the pool, desperate to drown the darkness still clinging to
The cold water bit into me, but it couldn’t wash her words away.
She had been in his home. She had worn his shirt. She had been comfortable there.
It could only mean one thing.
That she was right. Perhaps they had truly made love. Perhaps.
Back Where 185
I arrived late in the night, carrying too much weight on my shoulders. This had dragged on far longer than I expected, and I couldn’t pinpoint why we even needed to expand the Kingdom wall and divide it.
My uncle Dareth had suggested building another wall so some Lycans could live beyond it, but in the end. I refused. I dismissed the project altogether.
None of my people would live or sleep outside my gates. They would remain within these walls, under my eyes, where I could ensure their safety and comfort.
I dismounted my horse into the cold night and handed the reins to the stable master. Then I walked the hallway. The moment I stepped in, I sensed the shift in the air, in the way my people bowed as I passed.
Something felt wrong.
I shrugged it off and entered the dining hall. That was when it lingered. The warmth only she could bring. the feelings only she could awaken in me.
Slowly, I climbed the stairs. At the hallway, I stopped. Cautiously, I approached my living room door and pushed it open.
Xyrrha Pacing.
I froze, surprised she hadn’t left already and worse still, she was wearing one of my shirts. One I had left behind in the bath chamber, since she could never cross the threshold into my bedchamber.
“Oh, you’re here.” She stopped at once when she saw me, plastering on a smile. But I saw through it, and my heart clenched at the raw truth in front of me.
“Zephyrine was here?” My voice was low, almost to myself. Her silence confirmed it.
Exhaustion pressed down on me, and I set my jaw. Of course she had seen Xyrrha. Mearez would mock me for being so careless.
I turned toward the exit, but Xyrrha’s words froze me.
“She’s the warrior I fought five years ago, Apex: Does she know who you really are?”
A chill ran down my spine Slowly, I turned, my stare hot enough to burn through her skin.
“Don’t you dare, Xyrrha
“You won’t have her. Apex Her voice was steady, dripping with certainty. “She’s an Ashmere. Five years ago, you did something in that war you don’t even know If she dares learn the truth, she will never want you And your identity? Half Lycan and half denon
I closed in on her before she could finish, gripping her arm harshly. Fury clawed inside my chest as I glared down into her eyes.
“Don’t make me lose my patience, Xyrrha My courtship with Zephyrine has nothing to do with wars or
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identities.” I shoved her away, releasing her roughly. “Leave my tower before I return. I won’t be so merciful next time.”
I descended the stairs in haste, just in time to see Mearez walking down the hall toward me. She stopped when she saw me, frowning at my state. I paused, breathing heavy, trying to force my emotions back under control.
“Are you okay?” I asked, seeing her gaze sharpen, and she nodded slowly. Then her eyes softened.
“I… I wanted to talk to you yesterday, but you seemed occupied.”
I sighed, shaking my head and nodding at once.
“What is it? What do you want to say?” I asked, steadying myself. My sisters came before me, always. Their safety first.
But instead of speaking, she shook her head quickly, almost in panic. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴠɪsɪᴛ Find1Novel.net
“I… I wanted My brother Hades to be there too.”
Her words made me frown, but I wasted no time. I turned toward the shadows where Chantel stood.
“Fetch My brother Hades. Tell him our sister wants words with us.”
Chantel bowed and disappeared into the dark hall.
I looked back to Mearez, who had clearly noticed my unease.
“You’re going somewhere?” she asked, eyes narrowing. Then they flicked toward the stairs. “Don’t tell me Xyrrha is still here.”
Her words cut deep, and I stayed silent. That was all the confirmation she needed. I bowed my head, leaning against the table as panic clawed at me. How was I supposed to face Zephyrine now?
She must have gotten the wrong impression. Even if she hadn’t, how could I possibly soothe her? She was already raw with burdens, already wounded. I was meant to be her confidant, not another source of agony.
I swallowed hard and finally spoke to my sister.
“I’m going to White Pack to meet Zephyrine. Go rest with Serena. I may not return tonight.”
With that, I left for the stables, mounted my horse, and rode hard into the night. No rest. No peace. Only the weight of her sadness pressing down on me like the heaviest boulder.