Ch. 186..190: The Rogue is a Female Alpha chapter 186-190

Back Where 186

I have come here often and never once has my heart thudded the way it does now. My horse came to a stop before White Pack, and I sat still on it, uneasy.

Panic rises in me, sharp and relentless. I can feel her energy inside. Tonight she is here, not in her pack. For what seems like an eternity I remain in the saddle, staring, hoping, wondering.

Xyrrha had spoken back there, claiming I would never have Zephyrine because of something I had done in the battlefield I could not remember. I called it a bluff, but the words still claw at me.

At last I dismount. My steps carry me gently into the packhouse. The guards on duty bow their heads, silent as I pass, and as usual I say nothing. I give no attention to anything but the door ahead of me.

Carefully, quietly, I stood there. I swallow, gathering courage. It is almost unbelievable how a woman can make me feel this way. I, who had been emotionless unless it was about my sisters, realize now that Zephyrine has crawled into a place in my heart no one ever has. Just no one.

I finally reach for the door to knock, but before I could, it opens and Blue appears in the doorway. I take a step back as she bows.

“My King.”

My eyes fix briefly on her. I let them roam over her frame, searching for bruises or anything that would suggest hardship, but she looks fine. Maybe not emotionally, because I know if her lady is broken, she will be too.

“Is Zephyrine okay?” I ask at last.

She straightens, silent for a moment before shaking her head.

“She came in about an hour ago and has… locked herself up in the bedchamber.”

Hearing this nearly makes me snap. My gods. I should never have allowed Xyrrha in my home at all.

“Call her out for me. Tell her I am outside and I won’t leave until I see her.”

Blue studies me, concern in her eyes.

“It is cold outside, My King. What if she doesn’t come out?”

I give no answer, because the truth is plain as day. I will not leave without seeing Zephyrine. If I do, I will go mad back home, and I might end up committing murder.

I turn away, walking to stand beside my horse. Arms folded across my chest, beneath the bitter night sky, I fix my eyes on the window where she usually stands to watch me. Tonight she does not appear, and that alone speaks volumes about how angry she is. How much she misunderstands. How deeply she has been

hurt.

Time drags, ticking painfully slow. An hour passes before the door opens again. Blue walks out with a cup in her hands. She comes to me and extends it. I stare at her for a while, then at the contents. Warm tea.

“Please, drink it,” she pleads, her voice tight with worry.

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For a moment I nearly call her a fool. A fool for caring for a man who once stabbed her mother to death. The thought tears at me, pain clawing through my chest.

Still, I take the cup from her, careful not to let our fingers brush. I drain it in one go, uncaring if it holds poison or something to weaken me. If it does, I will gladly drink it down and die. That would be the justice I owe her, and her brother who left long ago and never returned. Fresh chapters posted on

At the break of dawn, just after the darkest hour, the Dusk household door finally opens. Blue steps out

first.

I have not moved from my post all night, but when I see Zephyrine walk out behind her, my chest tightens in awe. She is dressed, ready to return to her pack.

Blue glances at me, but Zephyrine only enters her carriage without sparing me a look. My heart clenches. as the wheels roll forward. As the carriage moves to bypass me, I step in front of it, forcing the coachman

to stop.

Without a word, I move to part the thin curtain and take her wrist. Gently, firmly, I pull her out. She does not resist, perhaps too exhausted to fight me. She stands before me as the breeze swirls, whispering of all I have broken in her.

Tenderly, I tilt her chin, raising her face until her eyes meet mine.

“Zephyrine, let me explain,” I say softly.

She stands still, waiting.

“Go on.” Her voice is quiet, but through the amulet I feel it. Her shattered emotions tearing into me. “Explain why your ex is in your home, a place not just anyone dares to step into, wearing your clothes, sitting there relaxed. Go on. Explain.”

Her words sink like knives. My heart twists. No. Xyrrha had not been in my tower as my ex, but as my cousin. Yet as I search Zephyrine’s eyes, I cannot find the words to tell her.

After countless attempts, nothing comes. She sighs, stepping back, weary and defeated. Frustrated. Miserable.

She turns to the carriage again, but I seize her wrist. When I pull her back, it is tears I see glittering in her eyes. The agony in them shatters me.

“I am just an amusement. Another bedmate of yours, Lycannar. You should go back to her, since I mean nothing at all to you.”

Her voice breaks into a silent weep, and with that she slips free, returns to the carriage, and rides away toward her pack, leaving me broken beyond words.

Back Where 187

I rode into my kingdom under the first light, my heart burning with anger. She had cried, and never have I felt so stunned, so heartbroken.

I surged in with my horse, dismounted sharply at the stable, and stormed into the hallway. The maids and my people were already risen for the day, bowing as I passed, but I was too furious to spare them a glance, too blinded to give them even a breath of attention.

At the dining hall, I could see my family gathered for breakfast, but I could not even focus on their faces. Rage clouded my vision. All I could feel was her presence still in the tower, still daring to remain. It was her I wanted. Her I had a problem with.

I had warned her that if I returned and found her here, she would pay. I told her I would not be merciful. She thought my words a bluff, spat on them.

I shoved open the door to the living room and found her seated in the chair, reading. My anger surged hotter when she turned to me with a smile, as though she hadn’t done something that had shattered my

woman.

“Oh, Apex. You’re back. I was…”

Her words vanished when I closed in on her, crashing her against the wall none too gently. My jaw clenched hard, fury boiling over as my hand closed around her neck.

“What did you say to her?” I demanded, my voice tight. She kept silent. My grip tightened, rage trembling through me. “What in the hell did you say to Zephyrine? Tell me!”

My eyes flashed, my demon side rising like a storm. My hold on her throat grew deadly. I wanted to kill her. End her here and now. She struggled, shoving me back with sudden strength, doubling over in coughs. But it was too late. She had awakened the predator in me.

I lunged for her again, but she darted out, shrieking my brother Hades’ name down the stairs.

I gave chase instantly, descending the stairs after her and bursting into the dining hall. My family rose to their feet, startled at my state, but I saw no one else. Only her.

“What did you say to her, Xyrrha!” I roared, my voice already altering into my demon’s tone.

She stood several steps away, coughing, but defiant now that she was out of my grasp.

“I only told her the truth,” she spat. “That she is just an amusement that will soon fade from your life. That you and I made love last night!”

That was it. My control snapped. I launched toward her, but I never reached her. My brother Hades blocked me at once, gripping my arm hard, steadying me.

“Apex, calm down. You are shifting,” he whispered firmly.

I swallowed hard, jaw set, lowering my gaze to wrestle myself back under control. Follow current novᴇls on find✦novel.net

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“She lied to Zephyrine,” I gritted out to my brother. “She lied. I did nothing with Xyrrha. We are done! 1 never loved her. I never felt anything for her but…”

“You broke up with me because you thought I sent your army to die on the front lines, which is not true!” Xyrrha cut in, fury in her tone. “Now that you know your belief was false, we should return to courtship. I love you, Apex. I don’t care if you are my cousin, my brother, or anything. If I cannot have you, then no one will!”

That struck a nerve. I stepped away from My brother Hades and glared at her coldly.

“You want honesty?” I hissed, moving closer, gripping her arm with deadly force. “Breaking up with you had nothing to do with the army. I can foresee death. I saw them die in battle before they ever left. You want the real reason? It’s because I never loved you. I feel absolutely nothing for you. You were the so- called amusement that faded before a single month was out. Zephyrine is the only woman who has ever made me feel anything.”

My eldest sister rushed to me then, pulling me into her arms, holding me tightly. Anchoring me.

“That’s enough, Lycannar. It’s okay. Breathe,” Mearez whispered, her palm stroking my back.

I obeyed her, burying my face in her hair, clinging to the tether of her calm. For what felt like an eternity I stayed there, trembling with fury and despair. At last, when I had drawn back enough control, I let her go and mounted the stairs in silence.

I entered the prison I call a bedchamber and went for the potion bottle that dulled and weakened the beast in me. I uncorked it and drained it all.

Moments later, my demon half growled in agony, forcing me to double over. I staggered to the bed, falling onto it, staring up at the carved canopy. The sketch of Zephyrine’s face etched there filled me with immense peace. My gaze softened, and I let my eyes fall shut.

Before long, deep sleep dragged me under, and I surrendered to it.

Back Where 188

Isolde served the dinner before me and Blue stepped forward to pour my goblet of water. Gently, they moved aside to let me eat, but I couldn’t. All I saw as I stared down at the plate was nothing, because I wasn’t paying attention.

I had arrived from White Pack this afternoon after leaving at dawn. There, I spoke with Dessyn, and Alpha Auedric had been one of those who stood by me, something I will forever appreciate and never forget.

He even promised to give me an army. After salvaging everything, all he could provide was thirty men. Thirty soldiers added to the ones already down from Moonveil Fortress made the available number only one hundred and fifty and it sounded almost like a joke.

One hundred and fifty men going against one thousand and five was nowhere near enough. I am the goddess of war, but even I cannot win such a battle. And if I bled and somehow won, I might still lose the life of my brother.

I was lost in thought, bothered by the ticking days and the rumors spreading fast.

‘My lady, please, your dinner,” Blue’s voice came softly, and I lifted my gaze to her.

Yes. A Lycan.

She must have been wise and old enough to remember when the demons came seeking refuge in the Lycan Kingdom after the war five years ago.

Staring at her now only dragged my mind to him and though I never wanted to think of him again if I could help it, his memory kept folding into me the more I tried to push it away.

I swallowed.

“You know about Xyrrha?” I asked, my voice cold and firm, unlike how I usually spoke to her. To this, she looked at me briefly before stepping back and shaking her head.

“My lady…”

Her eyes betrayed her. She knew something.

“You know her relationship with Lycannar?” I pressed again. In response, she only stood there in silence and that confirmed it.

I lowered my gaze and sighed. I was foolish to think she would ever fully side with me. No matter how close we were, her true loyalty would always belong to Lycannar.

I should have known it already when she told me her story and still loved him, still understood him even after he killed her mother.

“I want to be alone,” I said softly, picking up my cutlery. Isolde and the rest of the maids withdrew quietly, Normally, Blue stayed behind since she was my personal maid, but this time I added. “You too, Blue. Out.”

She lingered, and my gaze met hers, wondering why she was still there. Then I saw it to my greatest awe.

Her tears. She wiped them away.

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“My lady, His Majesty will never cheat on you. Please go back to him. You are the only woman who has made him feel alive. I don’t… I don’t want both of you to be sad anymore. You two clearly need eachother.”

A lump rose in my throat. My gaze dropped. Those tears of hers suddenly made me feel guilty. Her words triggered something in me and I instantly felt like a villain.

Emotion gripped me, and I tightened my hold on the cutlery as she finally slipped away, leaving me to myself and my sorrow.

The sound of footsteps came gently, and the door opened softly. Isolde walked in and bowed.

“My lady, Beta Jurrek seeks an audience.”

I turned away from the window where I had been standing. Surprised at why he would want to see me at such a dark hour, I walked out of my bedchamber and through the hall to meet him standing at the threshold.

“Alpha Zephyrine,” he greeted, but I said nothing, only stared.

“Do you have time? I’ve got something to tell you. How about we share it over a drink?”

At last, I nodded with a smile, letting him lead me into the bar chamber, where he pulled out a chair for me. I sat, watching him pour two ales before bringing them over.

“Not too sharp,” he said knowingly, smiling. “Varyn wouldn’t let you drink this if he were here.”

I smiled at that, memories flooding, and took a sip, welcoming the burn on my tongue and down my throat.

He watched me for a moment before his smile faded.

“We are losing,” he murmured. “Word is, Kaela Yadev will take over your throne once seven days pass.”

To that, I drank again, letting the burn settle in my chest, though it couldn’t wash away the bitterness.

“What do you want to say?” I asked softly.

He swallowed hard, pinning me with his steady gaze.

“I asked Princess Mearez to be my woman.”

Those words stilled my heart. I stared at him without blinking. For what felt like years, I said nothing. At last, I nodded slowly.

“Bold move.”

“I know.” He exhaled. “She told me there’s nothing she can do, no way she could say yes, unless her brothers agreed to it. I thought Apex was her only brother.”

I nodded.

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“They have another. The oldest. I met him once. Strange like Lycannar, but kind. Good. They respect and love one another. His name is Hades.”

Jurrek studied me, then nodded.

“What do you think of Princess Mearez? What do you think of the Blood family? What do you know of them?”

I fell silent at his question. Blood. I thought I knew enough, but it turned out I didn’t know even a fraction. They are the most complicated family I have ever seen. Half siblings, half blooded, yet no love stronger than the bond they share.

“Princess Mearez is the kindest woman I have ever known,” I answered softly. “If you marry her and bring forth pups, I will be their godmother.”

That made him smile, and I followed. I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I’m happy you chose well, Jurrek. I hope her brothers agree. Your union will be blessed by the Moon Goddess, and no third party will ever come between you.”

A sigh escaped him at my words, but then he looked at me again.

“Speaking of a woman whose marriage was ruined by a third party… Luna Tahlia. She seeks an audience with you, Zephyr.”

Back Where 189

Ever since I had been visiting Luna Tahlia, I had never once stepped inside her house. But this night, when I knocked at her door, she opened it wider and ushered me in.

I had just finished a cup of ale, and the drowsiness clung faintly to my senses. Still, I steadied my breath and focus as I walked into the small, cozy living room. It was tidy, warm, and strangely enough, I felt safer here than in my own wide bedchamber.

“Where’s Young Black?” I asked softly, and she smiled.

“Sleepyhead’s gone to bed. The maid is with him.”

‘Of course. He deserves his rest.”

‘Please, come sit,” she said gently. I walked to the chair and lowered myself into it.

‘Would you like a drink? Anything?”

At her offer, I only looked up at her and shook my head. I was already drunk enough, and truth be told, I wouldn’t have accepted Jurrek’s ale earlier if I hadn’t already been weighed down.

Luna Tahlia gave a small smile and sat across from me, her hand resting on the table between us.

Alpha Zephyrine…”

Zephyr,” I corrected gently. “Well… whatever you prefer. Those who knew me as a rogue in Hue Pack called me Zeph. Those who knew me here from childhood call me Zephyr. The Lycans call me Zephyrine. Choose whichever fits you best. But I am no Alpha, Luna Tahlia. I failed.”

After those words, I looked away and sighed, exhausted. Silence filled the room, silence that cut a hollow

hrough my heart. Content originally comes from find•novel.net

Lycannar had stayed out in the cold last night, unmoving, just to have my audience, and I had denied him. That’s how far he was willing to go for me. That’s how obsessive he was. Only that he won’t be having me. Not after what he’d done, entertaining another woman in his home.

I was lost in my bitter thoughts when Luna Tahlia’s hand gently took mine, giving it a soft squeeze. Slowly, I turned to her.

“You are an Alpha, and there’s no other way to address you,” she said with a sigh. “I’ve heard Kaela Yadev is set to take over your pack.”

I swallowed. She’d heard the rumors. But did she believe them?

“Before anything happens, I’ll make sure you and Young Black are safe. You can live in my…”

“Nothing bad will happen,” she cut me off gently, her gaze steady on mine. “I have seen you, the best part of you, Alpha Zephyrine. And I know you won’t let evil reign.”

“Luna Tahlia…”

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“I grew up hearing the name Ashmere. Their legendary victories. How kind the pack treated its people. The Moon Goddess’s blessing upon them…” she said. “You commanded thousands. The largest pack. The most respected. If you ever… if you ever let it fall into Kaela Yadev’s hands…”

Her voice trailed off as she shuddered, disbelief and fear running through her, as though some memory from the past had taken hold.

“Yadev,” she muttered bitterly. “And that daughter of his… they are destruction. They have no sympathy. Whatever you do… Kaela must not take over.”

The emotion in her eyes now went deeper than just fear. It was memory. Something she had lived.

I searched her eyes and saw she’d gone pale. She swallowed hard before continuing.

“Alpha Zephyrine… Kaela, whom the shifter empire believed to be the envoy of peace… she never was.”

I froze. Of course, I’d always known Kaela wasn’t an envoy of peace. But there were those missing five years, her so-called mission. If it wasn’t for peace… then what?

“To trade a life,” Luna Tahlia whispered, as though reading my very thought. The chill of her words pierced through me. Her fingers trembled in mine before she pulled away, rubbing her arms as though to ward off the memory.

“It was five years ago. I saw it with my own eyes. I read it. And that was the final straw for me.” She shook her head slowly. “You must wonder why I never fought Kaela, why I never tried to take back my pack, why I never gave Young Black the glory he was born for. It’s because of that stormy night.”

My blood went cold.

“She had been visiting the Imperium Council often, always returning at the darkest hours as though hiding something. One stormy night, I was returning late from my mother’s when I saw her. She rushed in like one chased by the very evil, her gown heavy with blood. She unknowingly dropped what she was holding, a scroll among other things.”

Luna Tahlia shook her head, shuddering.

“I picked up the scroll. And I saw it. A transaction, clear as day. A deal between her and Stone of Blackwater.”

Heat crawled into my veins.

“Kaela Yadev exchanged a life. An injured wolf, traded away in return for her stay in Blackwater for five years. While the shifter empire believed she was on a mission of peace, she had merely bartered away a life for her survival. I saw it, Alpha Zephyrine. On that scroll. This wolf was said to be a warrior, and she sold him anyway. A woman who can make such a deal with Stone of Blackwater, who has such backing…. how can I ever win against her?”

The air dried from my lungs. Goosebumps pricked my skin. My thoughts went still, my body frozen.

“Wait. Hold on,” I whispered. “You saw the receipt of this transaction?”

“Yes,”

“This person…” my voice cracked, “Is a wounded warrior?”

“Yes, Alpha Zephyrine. That’s what it said.”

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My heart twisted painfully. I swallowed, clutching her hand again, praying with every last ounce of strength that I was wrong.

“Tell me. That stormy night, five years ago. Around what time was it?”

She searched my eyes, confused by the urgency in my voice. Then, slowly, her brows furrowed in awe.

“It was during the first wave battle. The battle of Demons and…” Her words faltered as her eyes locked with minc.

“The battle of Demons and Ashmeres…” I finished for her.

My body went cold. My chest seized.

Varyn.

Wait.

The wounded warrior Kaela traded, was it Varyn Ashmere?