Ch. 191..195: The Rogue is a Female Alpha chapter 191-195
Back Where 191
Tension weighed down on me, and I almost groaned aloud. I still had enough to worry about, and now
this?
But wait. How had Jurrek Bane spoken to my sister, swayed her heart to the point she had the audacity to sit my brother and me down to confess such feelings?
“I should have taken her with me to the demon realm,” my brother Hades murmured from across me, and I turned to him. “But this is Mearez. She would never say such things unless she believed them to be true. What do you think?”
I lowered my gaze, sighing.
“Jurrek Bane is… nice. An Ashmere warrior. I think he fought in the second wave alongside Zephyrine. When I’ve looked into his eyes, all his worry, all his longing, was for Ash Pack’s safety.”
“Nothing for my sister?”
I thought quietly, then shook my head.
“Maybe he hid it from me. Mearez went to Ash Pack ahead of me. She stayed three days before I arrived for Zephyrine’s ascension ceremony as Alpha. Perhaps that’s when my sister found her love.”
“Or maybe before then. Has she been there before? Earlier than recently?”
I racked my mind and then it clicked. My gods. Could it have been then?
“During my coronation. The invitation scroll was sent first to Ash Pack. Serena was supposed to oversee it, since she handles the kingdom’s activities, but she was occupied. Mearez stepped in for her. That must have been the first time they met.”
“And you didn’t know?” Hades asked.
I shook my head.
“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful with them.” I rubbed my temple, weighed down by another surge of emotion spilling from Zephyrine through the amulet.
When I looked back, I caught Hades studying me.
“What?”
“You look like someone in pain.”
I shrugged.
“It’s Zephyrine,” I muttered, glancing at the anklet on my bare ankle. “She’s been dealing with things lately. I gave her an amulet necklace. When she wears it, we’re connected. I feel what she feels, and whenever she’s in danger.”
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“What has she been dealing with?” he asked.
I leaned forward.
“Her brother, Varyn… the warrior from five years ago. Can you believe he never made it home?”
Hades went utterly still, his eyes widening in silence before he asked softly.
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“I meant to ask about him. Since your woman turned out to be Ashmere by blood, she has an older brother. Why is she Alpha, not him?”
“Because he never returned from the battlefield. Zephyrine told me he never came back.”
“Really?” His brow furrowed. “Are you sure? We let him go. We saw him ride away, didn’t we?”
“I remember that part clearly. He was sent home. But how he didn’t make it back I still don’t understand…” My voice trailed when I saw his cautious stare. “What?”
He stayed silent, gaze fixed on mine, before finally asking.
“Apex, you don’t remember much from that battlefield, do you?”
I raised a brow.
‘Did I black out in battle?” When he gave no answer, I pressed, “What’s there to forget? I didn’t forget anything.”
‘Right. You didn’t forget anything.” he said as though trying to plant that in me. But then I recalled.
‘I had a nightmare, though.”
‘You?” His surprise was sharp. “That’s not what the first hybrid do. Your mind was sealed by spells, wasn’t it?”
“This nightmare felt more like a fragment of memory. I had it after returning from Ash Pack, after the ceremony.”
I swore I saw Hades freeze at that. His voice dropped.
“What did you see?”
“That… I was released from the steel chamber. Still in my demon form. My senses blurry, voices urging me to kill, to spill blood. Everything hazy until I heard your voice. You were asking who had let me loose, and you sounded stunned. Like you hadn’t expected to see me there.”
“There? Where?”
I shook my head.
“I can’t see it in the nightmare. It’s all haze and blur.”
Silence followed. Hades stared at me for what felt like forever before moving to sit beside me, patting my shoulder firmly.
7:30 pm P P P
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“Little brother… maybe your foremother, the Moon Goddess, shields you this time. You see… Varyn, your woman’s brother… maybe it is the Goddess’s will that he remain lost.”
I frowned.
“Zephyrine is looking for him. She has always tried…”
“He cannot be found.” His voice cut in like a warning.
I swallowed hard at the deadly seriousness of his words. Before I could reply, he asked,
“Tell me, little brother. How far will you go to keep your woman?”
“Every limit,” I confessed, and he gripped my shoulder, jaw tight. Fresh chapters posted on FιndNovel.net
“Listen to me. No matter what happens, right or wrong, you know I’ll always stand by you. You know that, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“I will also stand by you, whether you’re right or wrong.”
He leaned back with a heavy sigh, as though crushed beneath memories.
“Then hear me tonight. If you truly want that fiery Ashmere, her brother must never be found.”
“But… why?”
His silence was long, his weight heavy, before he finally said,
“Not everything lost is meant to be searched for, Apex. And not everyone missing is meant to be found, for some absences are mercy in disguise.”
Back Where 192
I place the royal seal on the last report and watch as Baron, my cousin, takes it away from me.
He studies it for a while and gently nods.
“We are done for today and…” He was still speaking when his gaze fell on the report I had refused to approve.
Quietly, he picked it up and came to spread it right before me, thinking I had forgotten it, not knowing I had neglected it on purpose.
“Your Majesty. This one too.”
My gaze fell on the report again, and then I looked into his eyes. Strangely, I couldn’t see anything. I could see when he would die, but not his sadness, longing, desperation, or agony the way I used to.
“Read it out,” I ordered quietly, and I saw him swallow.
He pulled back, glancing at the elders in panic, then at his father, my uncle Dareth, as though for help.
“Uh… Your Majesty, it’s just…” my uncle Dareth began, but I held up a palm to silence him, my eyes fixed on Baron.
“Read it out,” I repeated, this time firmly, and Baron obeyed.
“Issued on the fortnight before the next full moon. This report, once approved by the royal seal of His Majesty, King of all Lycans, Lycannar Blood… the maids and guards‘ wages and salaries will be received at half the normal amount, from now on, to support the King in his endeavors.”
When he finished, he lowered the report and looked at me. I stared back, unblinking.
“On what endeavors will I reap off my people’s earnings?”
He swallowed, and this time my uncle Dareth stepped forward to defend the report.
“We are doing this for you, Your Majesty. The kingdom needs to know who the king is. It’s like your father’s reign. He paid the maids and guards meagerly, but once you ascended the throne, you gave them too much. Now they are getting guts, and before they can rebel, we
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must…”
“Let them.” My voice came soft, almost lazy. “Let them rebel, Uncle Dareth. My father prepared me for that.”
I sighed gently, getting up to rub my temple. I wasn’t feeling well today, and I already knew why.
“I won’t speak much. My people should not be cheated. Pay them the normal amount.” I pause and ask. “Isn’t it time for their paycheck?”
“It… It is.” Baron stuttered.
“Give me Blue’s Paycheck. I will delivered it to her personally.”
With that, I walked to the exit, passing the guards at the doors and the maids waiting for orders. I didn’t look at them, but I felt their gazes. Gratitude flared from them, though I didn’t need it. I was only doing my duty as King.
Lately, my uncle Dareth and Baron had been getting ahead of themselves. I would need to stop that.
I arrived at the dining hall, heading toward my bedchamber, but there he stood as though waiting. My brother Hades.
I stopped when he looked at me and smiled.
“You are here. Little brother, let’s talk about our sister.”
***
It was late afternoon. Cloudy, the skies darkened. It felt as if the gods themselves hated the fact that the healer born with the sacred gift was sad.
I had thought long on it, and after talking with Hades, we reached a decision. This was Mearez. She had never once been wayward. She obeyed, she listened, she had succeeded in keeping herself pure despite our father’s filthy deeds. She was a survivor of trauma too. She deserved to be happy.
Together, Hades and I went to the princesses‘ quarters. When we arrived at Mearez’s door, the maid opened it for us.
Stepping in, I saw my sister lying on her bed, her back turned to us. She felt our presence and turned gently. The moment she saw both of us, she sat up in silence, curiosity in her eyes.
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She had been crying. Her eyes told it, her body showed it. I leaned against the wall while Hades sat beside her on the bed, reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
She shivered in fear briefly, then looked at him in hope, then at me in wonder.
“You love him?” Hades asked gently. His question carried more beneath it, and she could see it.
Mearez took her time, her eyes wide with dread and hope.
“You won’t… kill him, right?” she asked. And before either of us could answer, she pulled back, sniffed her tears, and said, “I… I get it. I won’t get married anymore. I won’t speak to him. Forget I said anything last night. Please just let him live.”
She was giving up, resigning to fate, because she thought we would kill him. We’d done such things before, and she knew it.
Hades studied her quietly, then turned to me. I gave him a small nod. Permission.
He turned back to Mearez and sighed.
“Apex will go to Ash Pack tonight. He has to speak with his woman and smooth things over anyway. He will speak to this man you claim to want and set arrangements. You will not be given to him without proper rituals and agreement. You understand?”
Mearez immediately stiffened. Her face drained of color. Slowly, she turned to me as if to ask if she had heard right, and I nodded.
“Anything for you, big sister,” I said with a small smile. “You need a man, truly. Take a burden off my shoulders at last.”
She chuckled at that, then grinned at Hades, tears welling in her eyes. But now, tears of sorrow turned to joy. She hugged my brother tight, then pulled back, crying softly.
“Thank you,” she whispered before kissing his lips and hugging him again. ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ʙʏ FindN0vel.net
Watching them made me swallow a lump in my throat. Hades was a demon, with no blood bond to Mearez or Serena. They had another father altogether, yet still carried the names Blood and Abyss.
Our love knew no boundaries of blood. We loved one another as siblings, no matter the halves that divided us. And in that moment, I prayed with everything I was that our bond would never weaken, never be destroyed by any third party.
Back Where 193
I flutter my eyes open from where I lay on the bed and find myself staring into her beautiful Blue’s gaze. I blink slowly, waiting.
take
“My lady, you haven’t eaten anything since morning. It’s nearly night. Won’t you your lunch?”
The panic in her voice makes me swallow hard, and I shake my head gently in refusal.
“I am fine. Just bring me water,” I murmured, turning as if to drift back into a sleep I know will never come. But then I hear footsteps approaching.
The door to my chamber opens quietly, and Isolde steps in to bow.
“My lady, a guest has come to see you.”
A guest? My brows lift. I stretch my senses, searching, but it isn’t Lycannar. After the things he and I did in bed that day, Isolde would never call him a “guest.”
I let out a quiet sigh, realizing I am thinking of him again. I shouldn’t. I don’t need to. Why should I, when…
I roll my eyes, pushing the thought away, and sit up.
“Who is the guest?”
“It’s Alpha Nyroth of Hue Pack.”
At that, my brows rise higher. Nyroth? Of all people?
I almost lay back down to dismiss him, but then the bitter memory slices through me.
Lycannar entertaining a woman in his own tower. If he can do that, then so can I.
“Let him in.” My sudden command shocks even Blue.
“My lady?”
“Let him in, Isolde.” My voice sharpens. “Open the door for him.”
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Isolde bows and leaves, though reluctantly. I don’t blame her.
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Some thresholds in Ash Pack are sacred. No man should step into my bedchamber unless we are mated and married.
Only blood family, like Varyn or my father, may cross that line. But this time, I will break the rule. And I will break it further if it means striking back at Lycannar.
After Isolde’s departure, Blue stares at me as though she cannot believe my order. Her gaze still burns into me when I hear the sound of boots. The door opens and Nyroth appears.
For what feels like an eternity, I stare at him standing in the doorway. Nyroth Hue. My first love.
Looking at him now, I admit he is not unworthy. Handsome in his own right, though without the piercing at the brow, the runes, the sinful presence that clings to Lycannar.
I sigh softly and nod, allowing him in.
He crosses cautiously, lowering himself beside me on the bed. Old feelings flare, but I crush them down.
“Leave us,” I ordered, and my maids obey slowly, reluctantly. Isolde lingers until the last heartbeat before she closes the door. Their disapproval is clear.
an
“Zeph.” Nyroth’s voice drags me fully into the moment. “I must say, I am surprised you granted me an audience.”
I do not speak for a long while. I only stare at him without blinking. At last, I nod.
“I’m only doing this to get back at Lycannar. We fought.” I confess so he won’t mistake my intentions. I see him swallow. That must have cut deep. “Why have
you come?”
His gaze lingers on my face, as though I have just asked if the sky is blue.
“You chopped off a man’s arm at the Wolf Fortress, Zeph. Why wouldn’t I come? Of course I am worried. What dealings do you have with the Council that have drawn such hatred, that they would stake your throne, demanding you step down as Alpha?”
His worry is genuine, and I swallow at the strangeness of it. Nyroth has never once shown me
remorse.
“I will be fine,” I murmur.
But his eyes shift, drawn to my bare arm, and for a brief instant lust sparks within them.
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:
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you
“You won’t be fine when the seventh day come, Zeph,” he says at last, lowering his gaze. “Outside, campaigns have already begun. Kaela leads them. You will be impeached before take another breath. That is why I came. I know there is bad blood between us, but let us set it aside. What matters now is that you go before the Imperium Council and Kaela on your knees. Beg their forgiveness, and they may spare you.”
My heart sinks at the suggestion, but I keep still as he struggles with his words.
“I will be at your side this time, Zeph. I won’t let you lose your throne. A female Alpha is rare and you are the first. Your reign cannot end this way. I will not let it.”
“So I must go down on my knees before those who butchered my family?” My voice is quiet but sharp. “Beg Kaela, who sold my brother, just to keep my seat as Alpha?”
His brows furrow in disbelief at my words. I sigh.
How time flies. Five years I knew Nyroth, and yet Lycannar whom I’ve known for barely three months has reached into places of me Nyroth never could. Nyroth is handsome, capable, honest. His eyes now brim with love and concern. But he is not Lycannar.
Lycannar Blood would never ask me to kneel. He would demand we spill blood instead.
Lowering my gaze, I face the truth. The Lycan King has carved his place into my soul. No other man compares. No matter how much I hate him now, it is still him, only him, that I
want.
“Isolde?” I call softly. As if waiting for my command, she hurries in.
“Please escort Alpha Nyroth to his carriage. He will leave now.”
Nyroth’s eyes fly wide, stunned.
“Zeph, you don’t know what is at stake. This is no time for pride. No pack will stand with you. The Imperium Council is beyond us. And worse, you cut off Railan’s arm. Do you even know who he is?”
“Yes,” I reply calmly, my gaze fixed on him. “The murderer of the Ashmeres. Leave, Nyroth.”
He stares at me, disbelieving. At last he rises.
“You will lose everything, Zeph. If you continue this way, you will hand it all to the Yadevs. This isn’t you. It’s that strange Apex corrupting you. I pray you and he never reconcile.”
His bitter words twist my heart. He walks out, leaving me in silence.
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For a long time, I sit there, wondering what life would be if Lycannar and I never make amends, never clear the air. Could I even breathe without him? And why hasn’t he reached for me? Am I truly just an amusement, discarded once his interest faded?
The questions are driving me madbwhen suddenly warmth floods my heart. The cold I’ve carried since last night, after leaving Luna Tahlia’s house, shatters.
I rise and cross to the window. There, my source of joy, my curse, my king.
Lycannar, astride his black warhorse.
He is coming in just as Nyroth’s carriage rolls out.
The clash is inevitable.
Good thing he didn’t find Nyroth in my chamber. But why is he here?
Chapter 194 Thɪs chapter is updated by FιndＮovel.net
Zephyrine
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I have felt this before and I know it well. Fear. But beneath it, another emotion stronger than fear. Anger, and jealousy.
That was what steadied me now as I stood at the window, watching Lycannar pause after dismounting his horse.
His gaze snapped to the carriage leaving. He knew who rode inside. He recognized the Hue Pack crest, or perhaps he simply sensed Nyroth’s energy.
He had likely come here to explain himself, but what he saw seemed to change his mind. His eyes tore from the carriage at last and locked on me at the window. I swear I forgot to breathe. Deadly. His eyes were deadly.
The pack members had frozen in place at his arrival, his presence dominating the broad evening sky. I knew word would soon reach my aunt’s ears, that the so–called king corrupting me had come here.
Lycannar stepped forward, entering the packhouse, and I pulled away from the window, retreating back to my bed. My maids stared at me as if they too could feel the storm about to break loose.
I sat down against the headboard, picked up a book, and pretended to read. The door opened. He appeared.
My heart leapt to my throat, but I forced myself to remain composed, glad I managed to keep my face neutral.
In no time the maids cleared out of my chamber, leaving me alone with him. I turned a page I wasn’t even seeing as he moved closer, filling the room with an aura only a king could bring. That sacred, crushing presence that made everyone want to kneel.
“I didn’t know you had already moved on.” His voice was sharp, accusing.
I flipped another page, shrugging.
“Why should I waste myself on a man who isn’t faithful?”
Silence. Heavy, choking silence.
When I finally dared to look up, he was already before me. gods. How had I not heard him
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move? Before I could escape, his hand gripped my arm and pinned me against the headboard. He ripped the book from my hand and tossed it aside.
“Between me and that insane ex–mate of yours,” he growled, his eyes burning, “who do you think is more faithful?”
I swallowed. His fury blazed but so did mine.
Angrily, I shoved him off. To my surprise, he let me.
“I would choose Nyroth over you, Lycannar, if you think I am some kind of bed–warmth you can fuck and discard.” My voice snapped as I shoved past him, making for the door.
But luck was not mine.
“Xyrrha wasn’t in my home as an ex,” he said, his voice cold. “She is family.”
I froze. Slowly, I turned. His face was deadly serious.
“She lied about us making love. I will never look at another woman again, Zephyrine. Only you.”
He stepped closer and I retreated. My back hit the wall. He caged me there, searching my eyes.
“Deep down, you know I never cheated on you. Admit it.”
Yes. He was right. And I hated that he was right. I hated it so much.
I bit my lip, pushing at him, but this time he stood like a pillar of stone, immovable.
“That doesn’t erase the fact she was in your home. In your clothes, Lycannar.” My voice broke softer now. “She was so comfortable there. Why?”
He didn’t answer. He only stared at me. He saw the tears forming, and before I could stop him he leaned in to kiss me.
I turned my face away, letting the tears fall freely. He should know I was hurt.
“I’m not your whore, Lycan. I won’t be.” My voice was raw, trembling.
His palm slid to my waist. His voice came low, commanding.
“Look at me.”
I didn’t want to. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t last. But I had no choice. I obeyed.
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My eyes lifted to his, meeting the storm. He swallowed hard, gaze locked to my tear–stained cheek.
“It’s you, Zephyrine,” he said thickly. “It will always be
you.
No one else.”
“But she was in your home… in your clothes… and…“.
I faltered, lost in the bitter truth, until his lips cut me off. A sudden kiss, tender and consuming, dragging me into the ocean of his love.
My misery unraveled in an instant. I kissed him back, melting helplessly into his arms, until I tore myself free with a gasp, stumbling back to catch my breath.
He watched me with an unreadable face, though I could feel the hunger radiating from him.
“I won’t be yours while she’s still in your life, Lycan,” I whispered fiercely. “I will not share you with another woman.”
He stared for a long time, silent. Then he moved closer. His fingers brushed my shoulder, sliding the strap of my gown down. Heat rushed across my skin.
“She left the day I returned home,” he murmured, eyes fixed on my bare flesh. His gaze rose to meet mine again. “There is only one thing I inherited from my father. For all his cruelty, one thing in him I still admire.”
I swallowed.
“What did you inherit from him?”
“The act of worshiping the woman he loved. My mother.” His voice softened, heavy with conviction as he pulled the last strap free. My gown slipped to the floor, leaving me bare. His eyes devoured me, and he swallowed thickly. “He loved one woman all his life. He worshiped her until her last breath. That is the same trait I carry. You, Zephyrine. Only you will I worship.”
His lips found mine again, and whatever resistance I had left burned to ashes.
In no time, I tore his shirt open myself, pushing him back to the bed.
He lay there, staring at me with hunger that sent heat flooding between my thighs.
“Come sit on my face,” he ordered.
And never had I obeyed so quickly.
Back Where 195
It flies away. I realized the missing piece that has made me weaker, more miserable than I should have been, is because of him. Now that he is here before me, dressing up, I understand how far this courtship between us has gone. The impact it has made.
The sky has darkened and I lay in bed, naked under the blanket, still raw from the pleasure, the aftermath of Lycannar making love to me.
He had taken his bath and now he’s dressed, fixing his bracers on his forearms when a knock came gently. I didn’t respond, lost in watching him.
I’d be a fool to take my eyes off this King. I was lost in him, his everything. His handsomeness, his solid presence. Nyroth had been here, but his presence never made half the impact this one does.
The knock came again, louder this time, and Lycannar paused to look at me, as though surprised I wasn’t speaking.
“It must be one of your waiting ladies,” he said, and I jolted back to reality.
I turned to the door.
“Come in.”
Isolde stepped in after a
few seconds, cautious, reading the room. She bowed to Lycannar, though my man paid her no attention, busy with his bracers, then bowed to me.
“My lady, dinner is ready. Should we serve it now?”
Oh. Right. Dinner.
I turned to Lycannar.
“Will you take dinner now?”
He paused, that small flicker of a frown marking his forehead. I waited.
“Uhm… I… I thought I should start getting back to…
“Are you going to take dinner now or later?” I cut him off, eyes steady on his. He recognized that look. I would throw a tantrum if he dared not stay overnight.
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He swallowed and nodded slowly.
“Sure. I… I guess I’ll stay overnight. I’ll take dinner now.”
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I nodded at Isolde to set the table. After her departure, I got up from the bed and made for my bath chamber, but Lycannar caught my wrist tenderly before I could bypass him, pulling me into his arms from behind.
His lips grazed my neck, making me close my eyes.
“My brother will be waiting at home. He won’t leave unless I’m there to say farewell, and I don’t want to delay him.” His voice was soft.
I turned and kissed him gently on the lips.
“You’re staying with me tonight. No deal.” My tone left no room for argument. I entwined my fingers with his and pulled him into the bath chamber.
I left him by the chair as I slipped into the water, back turned. I could feel his gaze heavy on me. Slowly, I turned toward him, scrubbing my skin softly, and I was right. His eyes never left my body. He sat, leaning back, fingers brushing the outline of his lower lip as though savoring the sight before him.
***
Dinner was served carefully by Isolde. More careful than usual, as if terrified of making any mistake before Lycannar.
Afterward, Blue poured out the water and quietly set aside a shiny porcelain dish that could reflect him like a mirror, making sure the King wouldn’t catch his reflection.
A small smile tugged my lips. Blue. The love, respect, and devotion he had for Lycannar could never be matched.
When they were done, Lycannar finally looked up from the table at Blue.
“Take.” He held out a paycheck. “For last month.”
My breath caught. I watched Blue turn, startled.
“Blue is already on Ash Pack payroll, Lycannar,” I said softly.
“She’s still a Lycan. Let me be responsible for her.” His gaze sharpened at Blue, like scolding her for hesitating to accept a King’s hand.
Carefully, Blue took the paycheck with a bow.
“Thank you, Your Majesty.”
He didn’t look at her, murmuring instead,
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“I did nothing. Don’t thank me.” Then he reached for his cutlery again, dismissing her. Fresh chapters posted on fіndnovel.net
I glanced at Blue and saw the admiration shining in her eyes. She bowed to me before leaving with Isolde.
When they were gone, a soft sigh escaped me. Lycannar knew how to crawl into people’s hearts. To make them let their guard down and be swept away. People like me.
I reached for my own cutlery but found my eyes fixed on him as he ate, silent. Then I realized something odd. He didn’t talk while eating. Not once. Just as it had been back at White Pack when he was invited to dine. He’d never spoken a word.
“You like… food?” I asked, almost stupidly.
He paused, looking at me innocently, his mouth full. Then he smiled, chewing quietly, not speaking. That gesture made my heart swell with warmth… until my eyes drifted and landed on the fractured mirror.
And then I remembered. Varyn.
Guilt crushed me. I didn’t deserve to laugh. I didn’t even deserve to eat.
“What’s wrong?” Lycannar’s voice pulled me back. His eyes were on me, sharp. He’d noticed.
Gently, I shook my head.
“It’s nothing. Go on, eat your dinner.”
But he didn’t. He set down his cutlery and leaned back in his chair, gaze locked on me. My chest tightened.
“Lycan..”
“Tell me what’s going on. I didn’t want to ask until we were in bed, so you’d have a peaceful dinner. But you won’t open up?.”
“No… I…” I tried to excuse it, but under his gaze, my voice faltered. I bit my lip, sighed, and gave in.
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“I don’t have any army. I can’t control any. Ashmere’s best warriors were killed in that war five years ago, and after the rumor that we were traitors, no soldier wants to hear my command anymore. After salvaging everything, the men I have left are barely one hundred and fifty. That’s nowhere near enough to attack Blackwater, where one thousand five hundred Babarians wait to tear my brother apart. So… I am in a loophole. I am lost, Lycan. I lost.”