Ch. 11..15: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 11-15

Chapter 11: Dreaming with my eyes wide open

Beau.

The walk to my house feels like an eternity because thoughts of what my father will do to me keeps running through my head. I don't even want to side track and think about Alanis. He shouldn't even be on my mind but the look on his face when I left is kind of etched to my memory.

I stop of front of my house and take a deep breath "You got this dude. He is probably over it by now. No worries," I console myself out loud. The door opens and Uncle Fallon walks out.

He opens his eyes wide from the shock of seeing me, standing and so strong. I know this was his idea, he put all those thoughts into fathers head and now he is probably pissed "What are you doing here?" he asks as he walks closer to me.

"I don't know, I got out I guess," I can't tell them that Lanis brought me out of that cave. No one would even understand and it'll just make me look weak as fuck. I have to lie, make it seem like I just waltzed out of the torture chambers.

''What does that mean, how is it possible?" we walk back into the house and Rex is the next to see me, everyone is seated on the table for breakfast. Father stands up immediately. He is angry and as he walks closer to me not saying a word I pray for my life.

"How did you get out?" he asks firmly.

"I don't know, I just got out," I try to explain but he is not having it. He grabs me by the collar of Alanis's T shirt and pulls me until we are out of the house and in front of Alby Crix's house. Alby is the oldest wolf in out pack and he is the wisest. He has all the answers. Werewolves get old, we can live for 1000 years or more but at a point we start ageing. Which almost makes us like humans.

"I swear i just got out," I try to explain but he is already angry and he wants answers because no one has ever just gotten our of the cave of wrath. The door creaks slowly to an open and Alby walks out. The grey of his hair shine under the morning sun and he smiles immediately he sees me.

Almost like he knows something.

"Good morning wise one." Father greets him.

He opens the door widely, telling us to enter his house. He is still watching me; I can read his expression but there is a smile on his face. I know for a fact he knows something about how I got out but he doesn't say anything. Still dragging me we enter the house and into the living room. "Have a sit," we obey his instructions.

Alby is still watching me.

"He got out of the cave Alby. No one has ever gotten out before," father goes straight to the point. He is as confused as me but for different reasons. He can't understand how I got out and I can't understand why Alanis got me out.

"You have found your mate" Alby ignores fathers' question.

I open my eyes in shock at his words. I haven't met anyone. What is he talking about? "What?"

Still smiling "Congratulations Beau, you will soon be strong enough to be the next Alpha. Once the mating ritual is complete"

What the fuck is he talking about? I have been in a cave for God knows how long. I haven't met anyone but Lanis. This doesn't make any sense. Is this some sort of sick joke.

"Who is she?" Father asks immediately.

I shake my head immediately. The fact that he assumes it is a girl automatically tells me that it is impossible. Alby must be wrong; he is mistaken somehow. There is no way in Hell. "I don't know, I haven't met anyone," I deny because I won't accept this.

"You know you have," Alby says with that stupid smile on his face. Does he know the implications of what he is saying? He shouldn't be putting any thoughts into fathers' head. I haven't found her yet.

I haven't.

"I haven't, I haven't met any girl," I emphasize on the word. His smile is still on his face. Almost like he is telling me that he knows.

"Is she in our pack, don't tell me she is human?" I can't think right now and all the questions father is asking is a lot. Shit, I am not ready. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

"Your son is ready" Alby faces father.

I run my hands through my hair. I am not ready.

"I am not ready," I exclaim.

Father raises a brow "What are you talking about?"

I shrug "I haven't met anyone. I don't know what he is talking about."

"You are lying right now" father can tell.

"I am not ready" I repeat.

Alby sighs "Leave us" he tells father. Reluctantly the Alpha walks out of the house and earshot. I take a deep breath "Can you be wrong?" I am desperate for him to be mistaken.

He shakes his head.

"But it's not possible, I haven't met a girl, I haven't even met a human." the fact that Alanis is both male and a vampire is just too much too handle. Suddenly his words spring up.

He felt something.

An uncontrollable pull.

Fuck fuck fuck.

"The forces are never wrong. This might seem wrong right now but it is what it is. You can't run away from it"

"Father won't accept it."

He smiles "Your father has no choice. This has been chosen for you long before you were born. You are special, this is more than you and me. This is the beginning of a unity that has been building up for a long time" he tells me like he has known all his life.

My heart jolts in my chest because this is not how I am supposed to feel. I always imagined meeting my mate. For years I thought about the moment. The first time I saw her.

I didn't feel anything for him. How can he be the one chosen for me?

"I don't feel anything for him"

He nods "Touch him. Really touch him and you will feel everything,'' Him. He said him. He knows everything and he has already accepted it.

Why can't I?

...............

I drag Rex into my room and he trips on air as usual. His glasses fall off his nose and he put it in place "Are you okay?" he questions with a worried expression.

I shake my head and start pacing because this is all too much to handle "Something happened," I tell him.

He nods. I stop pacing and look at him. I have to tell someone. Rex is really smart. With his help I can figure out what to do. Father kept trying to get it out of me. He wants to know who she is. How do I break his heart and tell him that she is a he?

"I didn't get out of the cave on my own,"

He nods with furrowed brows. He is confused and I am beating round the bush "Someone got me out,"

"Who?"

"You have to promise you will not freak out. And this is between the two of us. I just need to say it out loud"

He nods.

"Alanis,"

His eyes open wide "Vampire Alanis?" he shouts so loud that I have to cover his mouth with my palm "Fucking shout it to the world won't ya." He switches to a mind link and I read his mind.

I am sorry. Are you serious?

Yes.

How did he get in?

I shrug.

I don't know. Alby didn't explain that part. Just that he is my mate.

His eyes open and he switches to his voice shouting again "Your mate?" I cover his mouth again because he keeps on overreacting. Okay maybe he is not overreacting but he needs to be quiet.

"What does this mean? How is it possible?"

I shrug again "I thought you'd have all the answers. Look I don't know anything. I didn't even know you could mate with someone of the same sex. It has never happened in our history."

Rex scowls "This isn't even about same sex. He is a vampire. We don't mix" he reminds me.

I roll my eyes "What am I going to do?"

Rex doesn't have an answer for me, I know this much but I need answers. I don't even feel anything for him. How is Alby sure that he is the one. I don't even care about the guy and suddenly he is my mate. It just doesn't make sense.

"He wants to see me tomorrow," I tell Rex.

He nods "Do you want to see him?" he questions. I am unreadable at this moment. If I think back to this morning, I didn't necessarily hate hanging out with him but do I want to continue being in the same vicinity as him?

"Should I give this a shot?"

He shrugs "I don't know, honestly I feel like you don't have a choice. This thing is out of your control. See him, and figure out what this is and then you can go from there"

I already told Lanis I couldn't meet up; how do I even contact him now to arrange a meeting? I don't know anyone that knows him. "How do I reach him?"

He shrugs "Facebook?" it's a suggestion but it is the only one I have right now. "I need to go and hunt first. I need food, you are accompanying me. Grab Jabi for me would you. He's coming with"

Rex frowns "Is that allowed?"

"Like fuck if I care?"

.....................

With all the strength in me, I open my laptop in search of him. It is pretty easy finding him but the hard part is waiting for him to accept my request. I can only see his picture beside the request button. It is small and almost hard to see.

I wait a couple of minutes, staring at the laptop but I know there is no way he is going to accept it so fast. He doesn't even look like he uses Facebook. Hearing voices outside, I close the laptop and wait for Isabelle to come in. She doesn't usually knock, that's our friendship thing. I am fine with her barging into my room.

"Hey babe," she jumps on the bed and straight into my arms. I haven't seen Isabelle in almost two weeks, from the expression on her face I know she has been worried. I hold her in my arms and her tiny physique gets buried in my big frame.

"You had me worried sick," she cries.

I pet her hair softly "I know, I am sorry I have been a major douche. I should have controlled myself better," the truth is, if I hadn't had my ass so far up my ass, I wouldn't have been in the predicament I was in. All this wouldn't be happening. I hear a beep sound from my computer and my heart skips in the cages of my chest.

Its Facebook.

I want to grab the computer and talk to him but not right now. I just have to be patient. "People are saying you've found her?" She gets to the point. No wasting time. Rumors spread in the community and rumor has it that the new alpha is ready to take over. I am not ready to take over from father. I don't even know what I am right now.

"I haven't," I lie. Okay it's not such a lie because I am not actually sure that he is the one and I am not ready to tell Bells until I am a 100% sure. This is not the best time. The only reason I told Rex is because he would only try to help me, he wouldn't have too many feelings on it. He doesn't hate the vamps the way Bells does and if I tell her that my future could be one; she would freak out.

She pulls back from my grasp and I watch her unable to read her expression "Something happened though. What are you not telling me?"

I shake my head in dismissal "Nothing happened, I am just figuring a lot of stuff out. Getting out of the cave has been a whirlpool of emotions. I just want to understand some stuff that happened."

She doesn't believe me, but she knows not to over question. I will tell her when I am ready. I am just not ready right now. After she leaves, I rush over to my laptop and there is a message from him. It is short and Hella confusing.

Lanis: Dreaming with my eyes wide open.

I stare at the screen for a whole thirty minutes; in my mind I try to decipher the message. This is Alanis but what does he mean? "Shit, what do I say to this? What do you mean?" I shout to the screen.

Another message pops up. This one I understand.

Lanis: Hey.

I smile because I can reply this.

Hi.

I see the dots appear, that means he is replying. I cross my legs as I wait for his reply. The dots disappear but he doesn't reply. Shit, the green dot on his name disappears. He is not online anymore.

"Fuck." I run my hands through my hair. I am nervous right now. Why am I nervous? Where did he go?

I stand up from the bed and pace around the room. Shit, what do I do? I walk out of my room and to the end of the hallway. I open Rex's door and he looks up from the book he is reading. He raises a brow but doesn't say anything "He went offline?"

"Huh?" he furrows his brows.

"Lanis. He went off. What do I do?" I am sure I look crazy right now. Rex laughs. This is probably amusing to him "Why do you call him Lanis?" he questions still smiling.

"What?"

"You called him Lanis. Why?"

Is he serious right now?

"Dude, get up and follow me." I walk out of the room and back to my room. Kneeling down, I grab the laptop and open the Facebook app. There are three messages from him. My heart dances erratically at his words.

Lanis: I have been thinking about you all day.

I know you said I shouldn't bother, that we can't be anything but you are in my thoughts.

All day B.

I am so engrossed in the messages. My heart is racing uncontrollably, I don't know how I feel about them but I my heart is in another world of its own. I don't notice when Rex walks in and is behind me until I hear the squeal in his voice "Oh shit, he has it bad dude."

I jump up and land on my ass. "Fuck dude, why do you have to sneak up on me?"

He laughs "I didn't sneak up on you, I called your name two times. You were lost for a while. He replied" he mentions.

I roll my eyes "What do I say to this?" I am not good at this. Usually when I see a girl I want; I walk up to her and the charms slip on easily but this is no girl and this is like flirting. I have never done this with a guy.

"Reply him. Tell him you want to meet up tomorrow. Find out how you feel and then you go from there" he says it like it is so easy.

"What about these messages. What do I say to them?"

Rex shrugs "Just say anything. You can choose to ignore them. Ask him out" I raise a brow ’Like on a date?"

He nods.

Another message pops up on the screen.

Lanis: I am sorry. Forget I sent all that. Why did you add me on Facebook? That Is what I should've said first.

I reach for the keyboard and begin a reply.

Can I get your number? We need to talk.

I do what Rex suggested and brush off all his messages but they are still in my mind. All the while I think about the fact that he can't stop thinking about me. i haven't been able to stop thinking about him either.

He sends his number and I take deep breaths as I grab my phone and dial it. It rings and then his masculine voice breathes into my ear.

"Hello"

Chapter 12: Just one touch

Alanis

"Hello," I hear his voice. It is deep, masculine but also has a soft tone to it. That's all he says and I assume I am supposed to speak next but I think I have already screwed a lot of stuff up with all my creepy stalker messages.

I don't know why he is calling but I need to find out. When he left me this morning, I felt like a part of me left with him and he said he didn't want to have anything to do with me. So, hearing his voice and being given this chance to talk to him is like a light at the end of the tunnel. I shouldn't screw this up.

"Hi."

He releases a soft breath "Is meeting up tomorrow still an option?" my heart leaps from excitement. I can't believe this; it feels like a dream. I am accepting this whole situation better than I expected.

"Yes" I hurriedly reply him. Dude calm down. "I mean...s.sure. What do you have in mind?"

"Probably somewhere no one will recognize us," for some reason his words sting. He doesn't want to be seen with me. I know his reasons and I understand them but it still hurts. "People are already talking?" he tries to explain. That makes me feel better that he cares about my feelings. It means a lot to me.

"People?" why would people talk about us? What reason would they have? I sigh "Cause of the fight?" that's the only reason.

"No, I'll explain it to you when I see you. Where should I meet you?'' the smile creeps back to my face and I think about the future for the first time in a long time.

***************

I stand in front of the workshop in the middle of the road, it is called Johns Workshop. He said he'd pick me up. This all seems covert; I hate being a secret but I have to take what he is giving me. He's late, almost an hour late and I feel weird just being here? No cars pass by, I am not scared because if anyone tries anything, I can defend myself but I wish he doesn't plan to stand me up.

What If this is some sort of prank and he is trying to hurt me? I am already second guessing myself and regret is flooding in. He hates me, why would he want to spend time with me?

My phone rings and I check the caller ID thinking its him. Maddie's face pops up on my screen. I don't want to talk to her right now. I decline the call. What if he calls while I'm talking to her?

I squint my eyes and notice a car that looks familiar. It looks like his truck; it must be him. Excitement surfaces, I am not even sure he is the one. The car gets closer and as it does, I see him through the windshield. He parks the car in front of me and gets down from it.

"I hate myself right now. I am so sorry Lanis" he calls me by the name I have suddenly come to crave.

"Are you okay?" I ask him worried that something might've happened.

He moves closer until he is so close to me that I can smell him. His scent is not nauseating. It's like a pull, I want to be so close to him. I want a sniff to take him all in.

I cough nervously because he is too close. It is affecting me in a way I have never felt. "There was a family meeting. I didn't know about it. Shit fest is all it was but I couldn't get out of it."

There's relief in my chest. I am suddenly so protective of him. I don't want anyone hurting him. "How did you get here?" he looks around. We are in a secluded part of town. This is what he wanted. He doesn't want to be seen with me.

It was either this or no date. Fuck did I just say date? This is not a date. "I ran" I tell him honestly.

His eyes open wide, he seems to be forgetting I am not human "All the way from town?"

I nod "I am very fast" I say proudly. Running is one of my best powers. My speed is unbeatable. "What made you change your mind?" I ask as he we get into his car. He starts driving before he answers me "You are going to think I am crazy. I'd like to get some food into you first."

I smile because I don't mind sharing a meal with him "Wait, do you eat. I realized I've never seen you eat, apart from blood. The last time you fed me, you didn't have any for yourself. I am fucking rambling. Sorry." My smile widens because I can tell he is nervous and I think that's cute.

Cute?

Shit what am I saying?

Maddie is cute, he's a manly man. I shouldn't be thinking he is cute. "I eat." I get out of my thoughts and answer him "It doesn't do shit, like I can taste and appreciate it but it won't help me survive." I explain because blood is my food.

"Same here."

We get to a bistro. I look around and it's the only restaurant surrounded by tattered houses. This is like the part of town I wouldn't be caught dead in. There are hoodlums at corners of the street. It is still early in the day, but everywhere is secluded and quiet. The name on the building is lit in bright lights Donny's Bistro. It seems like the light of the D of the Donny is dead. So, I read it out as "Sonny's Bistro.’

"How do you know this place?" I question.

He shrugs "I come here sometimes. It is run by a someone I know. It looks like shit but the make the best shit. Don't judge a book by a cover" he winks and a blush creeps up to my face. Even winking at me is affecting me gravely.

He leads me inside and I follow him like a lost puppy. There is an expression on his face right now and I think it is going to be engraved to my memory for life. Once inside a waitress smiles widely upon seeing him, she knows him. A pang of jealousy hits me and this confuses me. My mind starts to waver. "Beau," she calls his name as she walks closer to him. I look at him and he has a smile on his face. He is as excited to see her as she is to him. She places her hand on his shoulder and I take a deep breath to control myself.

There is an anger in me that seems like it is about to erupt. This feels like deja vu and suddenly I remember the night of the party when I saw him with Maddie. The same feelings come out but the difference with this one is that I don't even know the waitress. With Maddie I was angrier because it was Beau. The hate I had for him made me want to hurt him, I wanted him to hurt but I don't even care about this girl all I care about is him. I don't want him to smile with her. I don't want him happy to see her. He should only have that expression on his face with me.

I know what this is and the realization hits me as I stand in the front of the entrance. I block all voices out of my earshot, not even there anymore. He is talking to her but I don't pay attention. This is insane, I can feel it. I know what this is. How is this possible? It can't be possible. I shake my head and run my hands through my hair.

"This is Bayley," Beau is talking to me. I snap out of my thoughts and look at them. They are both watching me. Waiting for something. What are they waiting for? Shit what did he just say?

"Huh?" I ask lost.

He laughs "I said this is Bayley. She is a close friend" he drags the word friend and the jealousy come out again.

Bayley laughs "Just a friend?" Beau laughs at her words and all I can do is roll my eyes from irritation. She is flirting with him, that much is obvious.

"Well, let's just say the rest is between us" he brushes against her softly. He is flirting back, why is he flirting back when he is with me? "You should call me later tonight. I will show you what you have missed"

Oh wow.

He has fucked her.

That much is obvious.

"I got to go to the restroom," I don't wait for a reply and walk away from them. I close the door and rest my back against it. Taking deep breaths, I try to understand all the emotions I am going through.

I had a dream about him.

I found him; I could feel him even though he was far away from me. It was almost like a link.

I want to protect him; I want to see him every day. Touch him, hold him, kiss him?

I am jealous of that girl.

I want him to look at me like that. I want him to want me the way he wants her.

"Shit," I take a couple of deep breaths but nothing is happening. I am having a panic attack. The feelings inside me are eating me up. I cannot handle this right now. I need leave, think about this more carefully. I have finally lost my mind.

I wash my face, getting the water all over my hair and clothes and walk out of the restroom. I see him immediately because this place isn't big enough. He smiles upon seeing me and my heart jolts from happiness.

I stop in front of the table and he waits for me to sit down. I don't sit down; I can't be here right now. It's all too much to handle and he will probably think I am crazy "I have to go, something came up." I say matter of fact.

He furrows his brows "What's wrong?"

I shake my head because I can't stop looking at his face. His smile, the crinkle in his eyes. All his features are engraved to my memory. The birth mark on his right temple. The little beauty spot on the crook of his neck. His piercing hazel eyes. The dark of his hair, it is all inside me and I am so terrified.

I don't answer him but I leave hurriedly.

I hear his footsteps. He is following me, if I run fast enough, he won't be able to catch up to me. A part of me wants him to catch up to me, I want him to tell me that I am not crazy. That this is normal, that this is possible. He doesn't know all this, there's no way he could feel the same.

"Stop." he grabs my arm a little too rough but I don't feel pain. All I feel is the electricity that is his touch. The sparks are intense. My toes curl in my shoes, my hands are shaking. Just from one touch. I turn around and he is frozen. I can't read the expression on his face. His grip is tight, doesn't seem like he intends to let go.

"It's true," he mutters.

I don't understand his meaning to his words but I can relate to them. It is true. I am linked to him.

Chapter 13: All that we could be.

Beau.

Touch him. Really touch him and you will feel everything.

That was all I took for my whole world to change. That was all it took for my heart to explode. I close my eyes with my hand still holding unto him and I see it. I see the truth. It is like a vision. He is in my head, his face. His smile, all of him.

I see everything I didn't want to accept. All that he is and could be, the love I will eventually have for this man. The things that we would overcome together. It all happens so fast that I have to release a loud breath. I let go of his hand suddenly and fall to my knees in the middle of the road.

A tear drops from my eye to my cheek. My heart is racing, this is all too much. I didn't think about it when I touched him. I forget what Alby said until it was too late. Now all these emotions have hit me and I can't handle it. Alanis goes on his knees and suddenly wipes the tear from my face. There is a warm expression on his face—almost like he is telling me that I am not alone. That he feels the same way too.

I can't feel this alone. I need him to be on the same page with me. He needs to have all these suffocating feelings; he needs to want me as much as I want him right now.

"Should we go back in?" he speaks up suddenly and all I can do is nod because I am speechless.

He leads me back to the bistro and Bayley walks back to us. I can't take my eyes off him. Because I am scared that he will disappear. I want him by my side forever. "Thought you guys left?"

I take my eyes away from him for a second and answer "Just give us a minute" we walk back to the table I picked for us. "I am sorry for running away" he speaks up still holding unto me. I don't want to let go of him. I wish I could hold him forever.

"It's fine" I manage.

"How is this possible?" he asks out of the blue and I furrow my brow. I know what he is talking about "I don't know" I answer. He is asking me the same question I have been thinking about all day. I know for a fact that he is my mate. I can feel it deep within. I just don't know why this had to happen to me. Why him of all people? I can't accept it so easily but I can't run away from him.

I don't want to let go.

"What does this mean for us?" he asks. He seems to have a lot of question that I have no answers to.

''I don't know"

"Should we eat as planned. Maybe we should just send the day together with no talks about links and stuff"

I furrow my brows "Links?" I question confused.

"He smiles "It's a vamp thing. I am linked to you" he explains. So that means he the same thing as a mate. Somehow the forces that joined us together know what they are doing. Intentionally I have been pulled into his heart. Shit.

"Okay, so normal day. Two normal people hanging out," that's the best thing right now. I know that I am tethered to him but I also need to get to know him. I have no idea what kind of person he is. He is basically a stranger and somehow my heart suddenly belongs to him.

"What do you want to eat? They make a mean chicken casserole" I tell as I grab the menu that Bayley dropped earlier. He moves closer to get a clearer look and my heart skips a beat. The close proximity is consuming me. Too much that I can barely catch my breath. I look at him and he is watching me with the same intense look. This is mutual and it makes me feel good. I am so glad that he feels the same way. This cannot just be me. I won't be able to handle it alone.

"I just kinda feel like eating meat today" he is teasing me. He knows that's what I like.

"You don't eat meat. You're being cute, aren't you?"

Laughing he nods his head. After a few seconds, he decides on wings and fries. A very simple meal. I order our food and while we wait, I can't help but look at him. He is looking at everywhere but me, so while he tries to hide his eyes, I look at his lips, his nose. The little crook and how it just fits him perfectly. The feelings encompass me. "What's your favourite colour?" I ask out of the blue.

His eyes finally meet mine "Green" he answers.

I smile "Mines the colour of your eyes," I tell him even though he didn't ask. The blue in his eyes sparkles under the dim-lit restaurant. He blushes and I blurt out "How come I can tell when you're blushing. You are the only bloodsucker that has colour on his skin. Why?''

"I don't blush," he denies.

"You're still blushing right now. Go look in the mirror" his cheeks are red. Maybe it is because I am watching him but he doesn't seem to believe my words. Bayley brings our food "Your meat is served just the way you like it. Extra rare," she winks as he leaves and I notice Lanis as he rolls his eyes. He seems to not like her.

"Eat up."

After our meal we decide to walk around and just talk and being with him is the best. I have never felt at ease as I do today. Just the fact that he is near me is overwhelming. I don't want this day to end but as the sun sets, we know we have to say our goodbyes. He is as reluctant as I am. No one wants to be the first to let go. "I had a nice time with you" I manage to mutter because I don't want that nice time to end.

He nods in agreement "We should talk about this. Is this really happening?"

I was dreading this conversation and that's why I wanted to spend the day without talking about it. Once we talk about it, it becomes real and once it is real, I have to let everyone in my family know. I don't know how my father is going to take it. Alby seems to think that he will come to terms with it but I think he might be upset.

Father has been the most eager one. He has waited patiently for me to find my Mate and he is one of the people that hates vampires the most. Mother was killed during the contention. He doesn't like to talk about her death—in fact, he doesn't like to talk about her at all. The reminder kills him, so we all don't talk about it. He had no choice but to settle with them. The treaty was the only way we can be at peace but the mere thought of being around a vampire will kill him.

He hates them more than me. I was too young to understand, I didn't know the whole story. I know she lost her life because of one of them. But I don't anything but that.

He won't accept this.

"You're my mate," I tell him bluntly.

"How is this possible?"

I shrug. We get to my car just a couple of feet apart. I take a step closer to him and he does the same. We do this until we are so close that if I lean forward, I will meet his lips. I have been thinking about kissing him all day. His luscious pink lips have been calling me. The man in front of me looks more human than all the humans combined. I look at the rise and fall of his chest. He is nervous "I want to kiss you" I am desperate. Hungry for him, all the consequences are already out of the window.

I am not thinking of anything but this moment. All thoughts are bundled up in my head. I just want this man, and I want him now "Kiss me" he reaches for me and I lose all control. Smashing my lips to his, I pull him closer as I grip unto his waist desperate to be even closer to him. I knew it was going to feel like this, I already felt it before his lips met mine. I finally feel complete, kissing this immortal being makes me feel like I am home. He moans into my mouth and I feel his tongue as it dances rhythmically in my mouth. I want more, I push him roughly until his back hits my car door. He doesn't budge, he just presses into me even more "Fuck," I mutter in between kisses, already out of breath.

There is this intense feeling. The butterflies dance around my nether region. I shouldn't be this eager. I want him so bad right now. He grabs my neck and I feel tingles as his fingers brush against me. I am losing my mind. In the middle of the road, kissing him and I want more. This is a man. I am kissing a man and I don't give a fuck.

He slides his hands to my chest and he shivers beneath me. We are still kissing, not giving a fuck "I want more," he breathes into me. I want the same, he fucking feels the same way. The intensity of his voice is surreal, he is making me lose my mind.

"Are we sure about this?" I slightly pull back from him. Our lips are still so close that I can feel his breath on me; it is a hot burning sensation on me. He nods answering me. I want to throw all caution to the wind. I don't want to think about anything. I want to fuck him.

"I can get a room; we can go to that motel with the great eggs" he suggests. A devilish smile springs on his face and I like it. I like this side of him so much. I want to see more.

"Yes. Let's do that." I take a step away from him and suddenly there is this empty feeling in my chest. It's almost as if my body doesn't want to be apart from him. I can't deny these feelings anymore.

He smiles even wider as we get into my car and drive off.

Chapter 14: Mating ritual

Alanis.

He parks his car in the parking lot and I suddenly get more nervous. I agreed to this—no I gave him the idea. I craved this desperately and I have never been surer about anything in my life. At this moment though all the nerves have kicked in and uncertainty crawls out like a thief in the night.

Is this the best idea?

I ask myself.

"Should I go book the room?" he can sense my hesitancy. I am just scared that he'd realise that this is a mistake and regret it. I don't want regrets with him. "Okay." I let him go cause my legs are still quivering from the kiss. He smiles and leans forward; his lips meet mine for just a second. The kiss is quick, I almost want to grab him to get more. He winks and runs out of the car. I watch him as he disappears into the building and my heart races in my chest.

My phone rings and for the first time today, I remember Maddie. Shit. She didn't cross my mind. How did I forget that I have a girlfriend? I am cheating on her right now. She has no idea I am with Beau. I run my hands through my hair unsure of what to do.

I can't have sex with him.

I have to end things with her first.

I had a plan; I was supposed to make Maddie my link. What do I do, how do I break her heart now when she has been by my side all this while?

I press the answer button and her voice resonates "Hi babe," she says with an excited tone.

I grimace out my response "Hey."

"Where are you?" this is not an unusual question. She always asks about my whereabouts because if I am not with her, I'd be home. What do I say?

Do I lie or just tell her the truth? I can't tell her the truth. She will be suspicious if I tell her I am with Beau. The last time I and Beau were together, he broke my jaw.

"At home," I decide on lying.

"Oh...can you come over? I miss you" she doesn't suspect a thing and that makes me feel even worse. I hate lying to her. The one thing Maddie deserves is my honesty and I am not giving that to her.

"Not right now," I notice beau jogging back to the car "Look, I gotta go but I'll call you later?" I end the call with her as Beau knocks on the window "I got the room" he tells me with gleaming eyes he looks very excited. He isn't thinking about the repercussions. To him, he just wants this and doesn't care about anything.

"I get down from the car with shaky hands "Are you okay?" he notices my expression. I manage a smile "I'm fine" I lie. I don't want to bring out my insecurities right now. I just want to get lost in him. I want my heart to finally beat for someone. I am tired of feeling lonely. I don't want to be alone anymore.

We get to the room and he closes the door gently. We stand face to face, unsure of what to do next. How do we go about this? Who leads and who follows?

I don't know anything about this.

After a couple of minutes, he decides to take initiative and moves closer to me "I don't know how to do this, but I want to hold you. Can I hold you?" he wants my consent.

I nod. He smiles and grabs both of my hands in his grip. The butterflies dance. My heart does a thump thump thump in the confinement of my chest. This feeling right here is why I will risk it all for him. I will risk losing my family, risk breaking Maddie's heart for this.

"Your hands are so cold." he breathes out.

All I feel from his touch is warmth. He is hot and I am cold, we are complete opposites "It feels nice" he reiterates. I look at his grip and it is not too firm. His thumb brushes against my palm. "Yours is hot" I comment.

"Does it feel good?"

This conversation is weird in itself. We are talking about something so inconsequential but it feels like the most important thing we have to say. "The greatest feeling ever," I tell him honestly.

Can I go back from Beau? I can't go back to hating him; this is the new normal for me. I just have to make it the same for everyone. "We are supposed to have sex during the mating ritual," he says out of the blue.

"Huh?" I mutter confusedly.

"Alby says once we have sex, we are bound forever. It's supposed to be during the full moon. Which is in a month" I am confused. Who is Alby and why is he telling me all this right now?

"Who is Alby?"

"The elder in my pack. He knows about us."

"Uh....okay. So, are you saying we shouldn't do this now?" I don't want him to change his mind. I really want him now. If he goes back on it, I could never push for it. Laughing he shakes his head "No way. Come here" he pulls me into his arms and I rest my face in the crook of his neck. I am not a tiny man, but next to Beau I am small. His body is hard and chiselled like he was sculpted into who he is. Being in his arms feels like home "I want to see this to the end." he whispers into my ears.

I release a soft breath because I feel the same way "I have waited all my life for you" he continues. His voice like a melody on a warm night. It's like music to my ears. The perfect song. "Me too" I have had this emptiness inside of me all my life. Before I became a vampire, I didn't have any family. I was left to die of a sickness that could've been treated. I was saved but I have never felt whole, not until this moment. In his arms, I feel like I can take on the world. I am not scared to fall anymore because deep down in my heart I know he will catch me.

I finally have someone that will love me unconditionally. I pull back and look at him. He has a warm smile plastered on his face "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen" his hands brush against my cheek causing an electric reaction. I shiver beneath his touch, wanting more. Wanting everything from him.

'Can I kiss you" he pleads desperately. I don't answer him, he doesn't wait for my answer and just presses his lips to mine. This kiss is different from the first kiss. There is a desperation in our actions that can't be explained. As his tongue slides into mine and the fire erupts from within. I know where this is going to lead. The urgency in the kiss is unexplainable. We kiss without even taking a breath and as his hands start to pull me to the bed, I don't object. He Is a little rough but it's the good kind. The kind I crave, I have always been the dominant one but Beau screams out masculinity and I just want to submit to him. I want him to completely take over. I fall to the bed with a soft thud and he smirks ready to dive in. Crawling on the bed gently he looks at me "Are we really doing this?" he asks for validation.

I don't know what he expects me to say but I want this a lot more than he does. He has no idea the thoughts running through my head. This is a fantasy that just sprung out of nowhere "What will happen if we do?" I have to know because he talked about rituals and ceremony. I need to know the consequences of our actions because no matter how much I want him, I will not jeopardize this thing between us.

He shrugs and starts placing wet kisses in the crook of my neck. A sound emanates from my lips and I swear to go I don't recognise it. Did that come from me? Beau doesn't stop, he is still kissing me "I don't know. I never asked because I never thought I'd need to but I want you so fucking bad" he tells me in between kisses.

"What if we can't be together if we do this?" I blurt out and suddenly regret it because he abruptly jumps away from me and to the opposite side of the bed.

His hair is a mess, running his hands through it, he makes it messier "Oh, shit. Could that happen?" he asks me. I have no idea. Usually when a vampire Links with someone, they have to turn that person. Is it even possible to turn a wolf?

"There's no mating ritual for us. We just give you our blood and you become one of us" I explain to him.

He furrows his brows "What?" I guess I have completely killed the mood "I don't want to become one of you monsters" he stands up from the bed and adjusts his clothes "Shit, we need to slow down on this. We have no fucking clue what we're doing"

His words are supposed to hurt. He just called me a monster but I know it's just difficult for him to control. Yes, in his eyes we are monsters and it will take a lot of getting used to for him to change his view. I am not going to rush him; I will let him see that I am not a monster.

I sit on the bed "I know, but does it matter?" I question because I want him to go back to his previous mood. I don't want Panic Beau.

"It does, I need to ask Alby. He will explain this to me more. I can't just say F to all the rules. You are right, we shouldn't do this"

I nod "I understand." I say dejectedly.

He notices the expression on my face and walks over to the bed. Sitting down on the edge next to me "This doesn't mean I don't want you. You have no idea how much I want you" he plants a soft kiss on my forehead and I close my eyes as his lips rest on me a little longer.

"We would figure this out," he speaks up again after a few seconds. I open my eyes and he is still watching me. With his kind eyes, I completely trust his words. I know he is sincere, he doesn't plan to hurt me, but I also know that this won't be easy. No one is going to understand, no one is going to accept this.

Chapter 15: Consequences.

Beau.

"What happens if you have sex with your mate before the mating ritual?" I ask Rex out of the blue. He is lying on his side with a book pressed to his nose on the floor of my room, this is how we usually spend our evenings. He looks up from the book with raised brows.

He doesn't express shock at my question. Rex is not nosy; he doesn't ask too many questions. "You can't," he says matter-of-fact.

I frown "What do you mean? It's just sex."

He nods "But the mating ritual joins you and your mate. Having sex before will sever the ties that bound you together. You have to wait,'' at this point he is warning me. He already knows that we are talking about me.

"That can't be right," I don't want to believe that I almost ruined my chance with him. He sits up on the bed "I studied the mating ritual. I even have a book written by our forefathers. I could go get it for you," he suggests, standing up from the floor.

"Wait," I stop him. I don't want to read this off a book.

He seems to know more about this "What happens if the ties are severed?" I ask curiously because i want to know the consequences of what i almost did.

"There's a ritual to plead with the Deities. It happens every 2 years. You and your mate will have to be locked up for 6 months prior. Starved off food and survival necessities. It is a whole thing, best to be avoided." he explains with a blank expression plastered to his face.

"How come I didn't know all this?"

He shrugs "We learnt this when we turned 16." he attacks. I don't remember anyone telling me THAT in particular.

"I have been having random sex with random girls. Couldn't that have ruined my chances. No one stopped me," I emphasize because this is not fair. Why do I have to wait for two months before I can become one with him. I need Lanis and I need him now.

"Dude, you would've known if one of those girls was THE ONE," he rolls his eyes. He is being snarky which is a rare thing with him, he must be having fun with all this.

"I almost fucked him," I cry in desperation at the situation. These things need to be explained clearly. I didn't know the repercussions would be as bad as he is saying. I almost threw all caution to the wind for a moment with Lanis.

"Dude, as long as you didn't, you're fine," he tries to rationalize with me but I am not happy. This makes no sense. Why do I have to hold off on being intimate with him. That's all I can think about.

It's not fair.

My room door opens and father walks in, without even knocking. Rex stands up to his feet cowering by my side. I can feel the fear; he is scared. A strong alpha like my father intimidates him, hell father intimidates everyone. "Father" I stay seated on the bed.

"Excuse us," he orders Rex glaringly.

Rex runs out of the room, leaving his books on the floor. You should get a clearer picture of how scared Rex is of father. His books are his prized possession. He never leaves without them.

"Who is this girl?" he goes straight to the point.

"There is no girl"

He frowns "Stop messing around Beau. Alby is never wrong." he is getting inpatient with me.

"I am being serious. There is NO girl" I am telling him the truth but as usual he thinks I am trying to be stubborn.

"What does that mean?" he moves closer to me. On reflex I take a step back. I don't want a hit from him right now. When he gets angry, I never know what he'd do to me.

"It's not a girl," I look away from him terrified to see his expression. I am expecting disappointment. I don't want that memory etched to my mind forever.

"I still don't understand what you mean. Say it to me clearly before I lose my temper," he warns agitated already.

I sigh "I didn't mate with a girl. It's a guy," you see. The sooner I get him to accept this. The better. But I have to tread carefully. One step at a time. We start with the gender and see how he reacts and then we move up to scary part.

"Is that possible?" he is confused but not the reaction I was expecting. I was going for anger or hurt. Confusion I can handle.

"Alby said it is. He seems excited about it."

"Have you ever been attracted to a male?"

I shake my head "Never"

"Could this be a mistake?"

I shake my head again "I confirmed it today." I remember my date with Lanis. A smile comes up to my face but I wipe it out knowing this is not the right time.

"I need to speak to Alby." he walks out of the room not even waiting for a reply. I release my breath and it almost feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. This is just the tiny part; I haven't told him the most important information.

I just want to see how he'd react to this one first. Hopefully Alby doesn't let him know everything.

***********

Isabelle walks into my room a couple of minutes after father and she frowns at me. Guess she is upset "What's wrong?"

She sits on the chair at the far end of my room. My room is not so big but it is spacious enough to have a kind sized bed, a couch, a work table and chair. I walk over to her "You upset?" I am being captain obvious right now. I wish she'd talk to me.

"Come on Bells" I urge her.

She folds her arms across her chest. She is not budging. I go on my knees and look up at her "Tell me what's wrong."

She sighs still frowning "Why didn't you tell me you found your mate?" Okay. There we go. How did she find out? No one knows about it. I know there is talk around the community but nothing is sure yet.

"Who told you?"

She stands up and pushes me but I regain my steps and grab unto her wrist. She forces my grip away "That's what's important?" she is fuming now.

Shaking my head "No, I just don't want people spreading the wrong thing. You are important" I tell her honestly because she is important.

"Is it true?" she asks.

I take a deep breath because I am scared to be honest. It is getting too real. I don't know if I am ready for it all to be out in the open "Yes," I manage.

Her eyes well up at the brink of tears. "Shit, don't cry. Please. You know I can't stand you in tears," she ignores my pleads and the tears fall off her face. Why is she crying?

"No baby. Stop," I wipe the tears off her face and wrap her in my arms. "I am sorry I didn't tell you, it's very complicated. I didn't know how to explain it. I am sorry," I apologize.

She pulls away "What's complicated about it. It's a good thing. You finally found her."

See. No one can even imagine it.

"Will you stop crying?" I ask her before I divulge the whole truth to her. Bells isn't ready for this truth but the longer I keep it from her, the angrier she will be.

"Yes," she nods and sniffs.

"Come on," I lead her to the bed. Once we are seated "This isn't normal. I freaked out when I found out. I am still trying to wrap my head around the situation."

"What situation? Is she human or an alpha?"

I shake my head "Promise you won't freak out."

She nods.

I switch to a mind link because I don't want to say it out loud.

Lanis is my mate.

Her eyes open wide. The shocked expression on her face was predicted beforehand. I knew this was going to be her reaction. It was expected but unlike Rex she continues our conversation in her mind.

How is this possible?

I shrug because I still don't have the answer to that question. I only know that he is mine but I don't know how. At this point I don't care. All I care about is being with him. I can't wait to become one with him.

Does he know?

Bells asks.

Yes, he does.

She sighs out loud.

Does he feel the same? What was his reaction? Oh shit, no wonder he asked about you at school.

She has so many questions that it is making my head hurt. "Calm down baby. One at a time," I say out loud because I have lost all train of thought. She manages a faint smile.

"He knows. We met earlier today to figure this thing out and my heart felt like it was about to explode," I say it with a smile which in turn makes her smile even wider than me. "You met him? Oh my God. This is crazy; I don't suddenly hate him anymore now that you love him. Shit this is so crazy," she grabs my hands and squeezes it encouragingly.

"Calm down Bells, I haven't told anyone. Just you and Rex. Dad doesn't know it's a vamp."

Her eyes open wide "Why haven't you told him?"

"Cause I am scared," I tell her honestly.

Furrowing her brows "It's not like you chose this. It's out of your control," this is her reasoning and even mine too but once this gets out, people will judge. People will hate, no one will understand. There will be questions, wondering how I am worthy of being the Alpha.

I already know what I am about to face. Once father gets back, I will see what to do next. How he reacts to this will determine if I should tell him the complete truth.