Ch. 431..435: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 431-435

Chapter 431: Spiraling

Beau

The second I get out of the meeting and see Isabelle outside my room, I know that something is up. Maybe it is just the part of me that is connected to him. Maybe it is just the part of me that worries for his safety. Or maybe it is just the part of me that has been worried since he felt that pain this morning.

"Why are you outside my room?’’ I ask her as I get closer to the door.

She looks at me with a warm smile "I am just waiting on him.’’ she tells me with no worry in her voice.

"It has been over an hour,’’ I tell her, walking into the room. I hear him in the bathroom immediately and I run over to the door "Lanis,’’ I call his name as I open the door and enter the room.

He is there in the corner, in pain and shaking from head to toe. I walk over to him and kneel down beside him. ’’Lanis, what is wrong?’’ I ask him as he looks up at me with his beautiful eyes that are now red. I see a tear stream down his face and he opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes. His fangs are out, his eyes are red. I look at his stomach and there is a bruise on it.

"It..it hurts," he finally manages to say, looking up at me and seeing fear in my eyes.

I don’t wait to hear anything else after that, I just lift him up in my arms and carry him out of the room. He was worried all day about us getting back to the grind, of me abandoning him, being alone and just when he needed me the most, I wasn’t there.

I walk out of the room and Bells is there waiting for me. She looks at me with her eyes wide open and she looks at me and him in shock. "What happened?" she asks me as I walk past her.

"I don’t know, but he is in pain,’’ I tell her as I walk out of the house and to the infirmary. He is still moaning out in pain, clutching his stomach and I don’t stop walking. I don’t stop until I get to the infirmary, where I lay him on one bed in one of the empty rooms. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. I have to keep it together for him. As I look at him, my heart breaks and I feel the pain he feels. I look at him and I want to make it all go away.

"I am fine,’’ he tells me as he tries to sit up. He is trying to be strong right now but I don’t want him to mask it all. I don’t want him to try to be strong for me.

I am fine with him just lying there and letting me take care of him. I can feel his pain, I can feel how scared he is right now. I can feel how worried he is. "Lanis, please lay down,’’ I tell him as I grab his hand. He looks at me and I know he wants to object or prove something but he doesn’t get the chance as someone enters the room, interrupting us. I look away from him and see one of the healers as she walks into the room.

I watch her as she walks over to him and starts to examine him. I watch as she looks at the bruise on his stomach and then at his face she looks over his body, trying to find the source of the pain. "Well, what is it?" I ask her as she looks at my worried face.

"I am not sure right now. I will have to examine him further to see what is causing all his pain. But from what I can tell, he is fighting the growth inside him, that is why he is like this,’’ She gestures to his eyes and the fangs. He is in his vampire form. I don’t know why he needs to fight the growth. They are his babies.’’

I turn back to Lanis and he manages a faint smile, trying to reassure me that he is okay. I am not so sure because I am scared.

I am scared for him. I am scared for our babies. I don’t know what is happening and I don’t know how to help him.

The healer looks at me and smiles "He is going to be okay, the babies are healthy and still growing. The pace at which they are growing is just making him weaker. He needs a lot of blood,’’ she tells me as she leans down and takes a blood sample. She moves around him, taking his blood pressure and wrapping an arm with a blood pressure cuff.

"How long is this going to take?" I ask her as I walk over to the bed and sit by his side. He is struggling to breathe as if something heavy is sitting on his chest.

"I will be able to tell you more after a couple of hours,’’ she tells me calmly.

She doesn’t want me to worry but I can’t help it I don’t like this. I don’t like feeling helpless.

I look at Lanis and he looks at me. He tries to smile again but he can’t.

"I will be back in a couple of hours. By then I will have more answers for you,’’ she tells us as she walks out of the room, leaving me alone with him.

"You are spiraling,’’ he mutters quietly, his voice is hoarse, he is trying to hold back his tears.

"I am not,’’ I assure him as I grab his hand in mine and squeezing it gently. If this is the only thing I can do for him--then I want to be there for him.

"You are. You are scared and you are trying to hold it in. I can feel it,’’ he whispers to me as he looks at me.

"I am not scared, I am worried. I wasn’t there when this happened. I hate that.’’

"Not your fault. I knew there will be hard days, I signed up for this. You don’t have to feel guilty. What matters is that you were there, after."

The door opens and another one of the healers walks in with blood. I watch her as she sets it up on an IV.

He groans in pain as she puts the needle in his arm and starts to infuse the blood. I thought they were just going to feed him the blood.

"He should be drinking the blood,’’ I tell her because that is the only way this makes sense.

"I was told to infuse it in him,’’ she tells me and walks out of the room. I don’t know what they are doing but he is a fucking vampire. He doesn’t need it this way.

"Where the fuck is Ogma?’’ I ask wanting someone that understands this situation. I know I am getting upset but I need the best care for him right now.

Chapter 432: Bonding

Alanis

It still hurts.

This is like nothing I have ever felt and I have faced death before. I know it is not time, I haven’t even connected with them yet. I am supposed to be able to feel them, I am supposed to be able to communicate with them but they are just not there. I know for a fact that it is not time.

I have fully accepted them, I am eager for them to come into my world but I haven’t had that revelation yet. The one that lets me know I am ready for this. Beau seems to have connected to them a lot more than I have and they are inside me.

"I want the blood to go into him the natural way,’’ Ogma tells him calmly.

"Why?’’ Beau asks her impatiently.

During this pregnancy, I have not been craving blood like I used to. Food is the most I have craved.

I do not understand why the change but I am not complaining, the food here is good.

I try to control my breathing so that I do not show my fear.

"Because he is human right now, everything that is going on inside his body is human. I don’t want to treat him like a vampire. So can you just let me do this the way I think is best?’’ she asks him calmly. Beau is overreacting but this is what he does--especially since this has to do with me. I don’t expect any less from him. There is nothing he can do about the situation, so he is doing the only thing he is allowed to do right now. He is worrying. It has just been a couple of hours and the pain is still as immense.

"When is it going to stop hurting?’’ I ask her because I just need this to stop.

"I don’t know, from the sonogram, your babies have grown a lot faster than the normal rate. They are two inside you and they are don’t have enough room in there. Hence the bruises. The blood is only going to intensify their energy, so I can’t say if the pain will ever subside."

"Are you saying he is going to be in pain for the rest of the pregnancy?’’ Beau interjects.

"I can’t say for sure but it seems like it. I will talk to Alby, see if there is anything we can give him but this is all new to us. We are all just half-assing it."

"It’s okay, I can handle the pain,’’ I tell them.

"I don’t want you in pain, we don’t even know how much longer this is going to be,’’ he deters quietly.

"It’s okay, I want this, I want our babies so please don’t worry about anything,’’ I try to get him to see that this is not so bad. I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy. I signed up for this and he also signed up for the uncertainties. So we just have to take it the way things are."

Ogma coughs nervously "I should leave you to get some rest,’’ she tells me and I smile at her, my hand still on my stomach. I don’t know what I am looking for but I just want to feel them. They are supposed to be moving around, they are supposed to be feeding on my blood but I can’t even feel them. I don’t feel anything but the pain.

Ogma walks out of the room and Beau sits down on the bed next to me, his eyes are filled with worry. I want to wipe that expression out of his face but I know that he will always worry. No matter what I say.

"Come on,’’ I tell him gesturing for him to get on the bed with me.

He shakes his head "I don’t want to hurt you.’’

A small laugh escapes me at his words "You won’t hurt me.’’

"How do you know that?’’ he asks me, his voice is full of concern and I have no words for him. I just want him to come to bed with me.

"Just do it,’’ I tell him sternly. He doesn’t move for a minute and I can hear his heart beat echoing in the room. It is mixed with mine and it is like we are both trying to get the other to back down.

We both move at the same time, and I pull him into my arms. He is tense and I can feel that he isn’t sure if he is making the right move. He settles in next to me and I lock my arms around him, my hand on his back. He is warm, his heartbeat is loud and it is comforting. I am tired and I want to just go to bed but I don’t know how to sleep with this pain.

"I am sorry,’’ he says after a while.

"For what?’’ I ask him. He should never be sorry for anything.

"For this,’’ he says and I know exactly what he is talking about.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I knew what I was getting myself into, I knew that this was going to be hard,’’ I tell him.

"I feel like I am not doing my part like I am not doing anything to help you and it’s killing me,’’ he tells me.

"You are helping me the best way you can, you are here, and you are here for me. That’s all I need you to be,’’ I tell him. He is really just worrying about the wrong thing.

"I feel like I am the only one not feeling them,’’ he says and I feel his muscles tense up because that is all I have felt since I found out.

"I feel the same way,’’ I tell him honestly.

He opens his eyes wide. I know he expected me to have already bonded with them. I am the one carrying them after all.

Chapter 433: Focus on the present

Alanis

"How is that possible? They are inside you.’’ he points out the obvious. I know he is just going back to overthinking with my confession but he is really the only one that I can talk to about this.

"I don’t know, I have tried to feel them. It hasn’t worked so far,’’ I say in frustration. I want the bond, I crave it desperately. That is the only way this pain will feel worth it. Right now, I just don’t know how I feel.

"Are you sure it is normal? Maybe I should speak to Alby about this,’’ he suggests.

I shake my head because I know that this is something I have to deal with on my own "Nothing about this pregnancy is normal. I don’t think it would be a good idea to involve Alby in this. He can’t help me. I have to deal with this on my own,’’ I tell him.

"What if something is wrong?’’ he asks me. The door opens suddenly, interrupting our conversation. I look at the door and I see Gyles with worry-filled eyes.

He is standing by the door as Beau sits up on the bed. The sky is grey. It is almost nighttime and I don’t want to spend it here but with the way things are, it seems like that is a possibility.

"You can come in,’’ Beau gestures, slowly getting off the bed. I look at Gyles and a slow smile creeps up to my face. I know that he is done with the ceremony and his scent is different.

"Hey,’’ he waves his hand in the air as he slowly walks up to the bed. Beau plants a soft kiss on my forehead "I will be back,’’ he tells me and I watch him as he walks out of the room.

"Are you okay?’’ he asks me quietly.

I sit up on the bed with that smile still on my face. I am so happy for him and I am sure that he can tell. "Tell me everything, how was it?"

He smiles and sits down on the edge of the bed gently.

He looks blissful and the way he looks at me makes me feel the same. "It was amazing. I don’t know how to describe it. It was so beautiful and I feel like I am different. I don’t think I can ever go back to being the person I was before. You were right about this. It is worth it"

I smile widely at him. It is so good to see him happy. I know that he has changed. He has become so much calmer and he has a glow about him. I want to ask him so many questions, I want to know how the punishment felt and how he overcame it.

"You don’t look okay,’ he points out changing the topic.

I don’t want to talk about the babies right now and how much pain I am in. It is like a tugging inside me. One that keeps getting worse.

"Wow, I thought you would notice my glow too,’’ I point to my stomach through one of Beau’s oversize shirts. There was a time when you wouldn’t even notice the bump but in less than a week, I can’t even hide it with an oversized shirt.

"Oh, there is a glow, your eyes are glowing." he points out the obvious. I can’t switch it off. As Ogma said, it is almost like my body is in survival mode and I am strongest when I am a vampire. So this is my body fighting the most important part of me right now.

I just wish I didn’t have to fight, I just wish it didn’t have to be like this but I take this over not having them in the first place.

"Are you okay?’’ he asks me worriedly.

His tone is sincere. I know that Gyles genuinely cares about me and that means a lot to me.

"In a lot of pain,’’ I tell him, shrugging my shoulders

"What can I do?’’ he asks me.

I think for a moment. I don’t think anything is going to help me but I like his company. "Can you just distract me, tell me about the ritual. I want all the details."

"Alright, well I can do that," he says with a grin.

I lean back against the pillows and listen as he talks about the ceremony and how beautiful it was. I watch him as he talks, he is glowing and he is so happy that it only makes me feel better. I know that the babies are safe and that they will be born soon. I don’t know what the future holds for us but I am excited to find out.

"Do you want to talk about anything?’’ he asks, looking at me carefully.

I smile at him. I don’t want to distract him with my problems. I know that he is still going through his drama with the coven and I wish I was strong enough to help him but right now, my priority is my babies.

"I think you have a lot to deal with. Have you been hearing the voices since you came out of the caves?’’

He shakes his head "No, I should be glad but at the same time, I am terrified of what is yet to come. No one has said anything about going back but I feel like it is something we need to do. I don’t want to just wait until things get worse.’’

I smile because he is worrying and I don’t think he needs to focus on the future right now "It has just been a couple of days, why don’t you just enjoy the quiet time you have been given. Focus on your mates and leave the rest for the future you.’’

He nods and I know that I have made him feel better. He looks at me and he sighs. "Thank you for all this. You know, for everything you have done for me, being a friend in a lot of confusing times,’’ he breathes out but I don’t think he needs to thank me.

Talking to Gyles is very comforting for me. It makes me think about things in a different perspective.

Right now, I am so focused on not being able to feel my babies, I am so focused of hurting them, instead of just being thankful for them.

I rest my hand on my stomach and I just close my eyes and let myself feel. I let myself feel the miracle inside me.

I take a deep breath and I feel it. I feel them. It is not a bond but it is a feeling of love and protection that I have never felt before.

I just smile and I look over at Gyles, who is smiling widely at me.

"Maybe you are right,’’ he says to me.

 

Chapter 434: Alive

Beau

"We can’t keep him in the community,’’ Bells tells me. The meeting we had earlier before I had to rush Lanis to the infirmary was about Fallon. Apparently, everyone in the community has a problem with it.

There are a lot of hypocrites in this place. There was a time when all they cared about was what Fallon seemed to think. They would listen to him over me and my father and now they are all worried that he might cause harm to the pack.

Fallon is at the weakest I have ever seen. He hasn’t been able to hunt in weeks, he is locked up in a room without sunlight. That is enough torture in my book.

"I can’t kill him,’’ I tell her because that was the discussion and I don’t want to seem weak. I don’t want them to think I am not strong enough to be the Alpha.

"Why is he still here? Why are we still feeding a man that killed our Alpha?’’ she asks me.

"What do you want me to do?’’ I ask her because right now, I want the opinion of my best friend.

"I would have banished him from the pack.’’

I shake my head immediately "I can’t do that. I will never survive the worrying. What if he strikes back?’’

That is my biggest worry. I have never been able to trust Fallon, even when he was in the pack. Even before he killed my father. He hates me and the fact that I got everything he always wanted will never change. He will continue to hate me and he will try to hurt me by getting to the people closest to me. That is why the best thing in my opinion is to have him close to me, close to the pack. I want to be sure that he can’t get to me and my family.

"It might seem cruel but I think it would be better if he was dead,’’ she tells me and I know this is just her opinion and how she feels. Bell’s has always had a ruthless side to her but I just don’t know if that is the right thing to do.

We are outside the infirmary. Gyles showed up and I knew that he would be a big help to Lanis in a time like this. He has been such a good friend to him and I am kinda glad that he has someone in the pack.

The only person that Lanis is really close to is Eligio and he is not in the pack, so knowing that he has someone to talk to that is not me, makes me happier. I know there are things that Gyles would do for him that I wouldn’t be able to. Like right now, he is panicking but he doesn’t want to show it, he doesn’t want me to see his pain because he doesn’t want me to worry. So if Gyles can just help me, help him, then I am glad. The door opens and I see Gyles as he walks outside.

"How is he?’’ I ask him immediately.

He smiles and I already know that they had a conversation "He’s good. He wants to see you,’’ he tells me with his hands in his pocket. I haven’t had a chance to ask him about the ritual but from the smile on his face, I can tell it went well.

"Great. I will be in there in a minute,’’ I tell him and he nods and walks away from us. I face Bells again because I am still at a crossroads with this Fallon issue. I honestly don’t know how I am going to handle it "I will think about it, and then I will talk to you,’’ I tell her even though she already knows that I don’t want to kill him.

I can’t do the thing he did to my father. We might be barbaric but I just can’t kill him when he has already surrendered.

Has he surrendered?

My wolf asks me. I don’t know the answer to that question because I don’t really know what he is thinking but he hasn’t even said a word since I brought him here. He is not the man I knew.

"Okay,’’ she agrees with me and I walk back into the infirmary and back to the room he is in. He looks up immediately I open the door and his expression is warm. I can sense that he is still in pain from the crinkle in his eyes. The bag of blood is almost empty and he has his hands on his stomach over his shirt.

"Hi,’’ he smiles and my heart does this dance in my chest.

"Hi,’’ I tell him as I walk inside the room and close the door behind me. "Come closer," he tells me waving his hand in the air for me to come close to him. I obey him and stop in front of the bed.

"Something weird happened while Gyles was here, something weird but amazing,’’ he tells me with a grin plastered on his face.

The smile on his face just lets me know that whatever this is--is good.

"Sit down,’’ he tells me and I sit down on the bed, next to him.

"Your hand,’’ he grabs my right hand and I don’t fight him. Slowly, he places it through his shirt, on his stomach. At first, I don’t know what I am looking for until I feel it. The little pulse in his stomach.

"Do you feel that?’’ he asks me with his eyes closed. I nod my head "That’s the lives of my babies. Our babies. Inside of me."

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to react to this. They are alive and breathing, this is the most real they have felt since I found out. I am happy, speechless. A tear escapes my eye and I wipe it away with my free hand.

"I can’t believe this is happening,’’ he tells me, reaching for my face and wiping my tears.

I keep my hand on his stomach because I don’t want this feeling to end. I don’t want this moment to end.

\Chapter 435: Insecurities

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Alanis

Another week flies by and there I am even bigger than I was last week. I have so many insecurities surrounding this pregnancy. I don’t know if I will ever be the way I was before it. My skin has stretched so much that I don’t even like Beau to see me naked. The one thing we were consistent at, is our sex life but now, I don’t even want him to see me come out of the shower. He has been amazing through it all. The most supportive husband and mate but I miss our intimacy.

I miss the sex.

"Wow, can I take a picture?’’ Dar walks into my room and smiles at me with his phone in the air.

He is teasing me right now but it is just fueling all the insecurities inside me. I am still in pain, I still have to be infused with blood regularly but it seems to be helping the process. I don’t even understand what is going on inside me but I just want it all to be over. I want my babies and I want my old body back.

"Fuck off,’’ I tell him. He laughs and throws the phone on my bed.

"I am just playing with you. I am just here to see how you are feeling?’’ He sits down beside me and I groan out at his question. I feel bloated, crampy and not sexy. I don’t know how I am going to feel about this body when the babies finally come out.

"I have no idea,’’ I tell him and he nods his head at me.

"Yeah. I have been wondering about that. I mean, how will you feel when they are born? You are going to be a father. That is something that I never thought I would say about you.’’ He is smiling and I know that all he is picturing are those babies when they arrive.

"I am fucking fat,’’ I groan louder this time, pointing to my belly.

He laughs "Yeah, pretty huge.’’ he admits and I groan even louder. I have never felt this unattractive in my life. It sucks that I have all these insecurities inside of me and I haven’t even talked to him about it. Beau has been the best ever. He has given me space when I needed it and he has also been the shoulder I need through all this.

"You’re being a major jerk right now,’’ I tell Darrien, already getting irritated. Another thing that is not really me, is the heightened emotions that I have been feeling lately. I thought the way I was acting during the wedding was all it was going to be but it is worse. Some nights, I just find myself crying in bed. I don’t know how to hide it from him because he is always with me. He is always there to hold me, console me and make me feel better. This journey would have been hell without him.

"I am here to make you feel better,’’ he winks and I roll my eyes because it is not working.

"You are supposed to tell me that I am beautiful,’’ I tell him with an eye roll.

He laughs "I have never thought you were beautiful, why would I lie now?’’ he tells me and his honesty is not shocking.

"You are the worst person to help me feel better,’’ it ell him.

He laughs again.

"You’re right. I am. But I am here for you.’’ he slings his arm over my shoulder and I rest my head on his shoulder. As I said, this is not something I would usually do with Darrien but I have just been so clingy and touchy-feely.

"I have been too ashamed to be naked in front of Beau.’’ I blurt out, completely pouring out my mind to him.

He turns to me slowly and a slow evil smile spreads to his face. This is not something I would talk about with Darrien--anyone but him. Darrien is the worst at feelings and emotions and I know that he is going to make fun of me.

"What?! Is this what we are doing today?’’ he asks me with that stupid smile still on his face. I move away from him and turn my face away from him completely.

"I am kidding, come on,’’ he jumps up on the bed and faces me with a glint in his eyes "Let’s talk about this. I can help,’’ he assures me even though I am not sure anymore.

It is not funny,’’ I tell him and his smile drops instantly. I can see him trying to keep himself from laughing but failing miserably. "It’s not funny,’’ I tell him again and he nods his head.

"No, it is not. That’s why I am not laughing. I am taking this seriously. You can be honest with me,’’ he tells me and I soften.

"I am afraid that I won’t be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see,’’ I tell him and he nods his head.

"I get that. You are carrying two babies inside of you and it is a lot of work. I mean, I don’t know what it is like, but I could imagine. I have heard that most women feel unattractive and don’t feel like themselves. But I am telling you this, Beau doesn’t give a shit. He doesn’t care about how you look right now. He loves you.’’ he tells me and I look at him.

"I know that Beau loves me but I am trying to get to that stage. I don’t want to be looking in the mirror and hating what I see. If I hate how I look, how would he feel?’’

"You are being ridiculous,’’ he tells me deadpan.

I nod.

"You need to go to the mirror right now and look at your fucking reflection. I want you to look at every single part of your body and say to yourself that you are beautiful. Say it until you believe it.’’

He stands up and grabs my hand in his tightly, helping me up.

I don’t want to do this.

"Come on.’’