Ch. 91..95: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 91-95

Chapter 91: You are mine.

Darrien.

As the dawn breaks and all arrangement are made. Eligio tells me we are going to have to stay here. Help the wolves. I already know that I am on their side. Fuck, my link is one of them. I know they haven’t treated him like he matters but they are still his family and I have to do everything I can to protect them.

’’We have to stay here?’’ El informs me.

’’I got the kid in my apartment. This is not the time to leave him alone.’’

’’I’m bringing El, do the same. I mean this is his home after all.’’

I shake my head ’’Not anymore. He belongs with me,’’ I interject already getting defensive.

Eligio raises his hands up in surrender, obviously meaning no harm ’’You get what I am saying. I brought my baby here, even though she has no reason to be here. Jabi is already used to this place. Explain the situation to him and bring him back—for his own safety.’’

He has a point but I am not going to let him know that I think so. I release a sigh of frustration not liking all that is happening. that motherfucker needs to die and he needs to die now.

Eligio leaves me to my thoughts. I don’t even have a way of calling Jabi. He doesn’t have a phone; I don’t even know why I didn’t think of that. I just told him to stay put and wait for me. I know he is obedient but I can’t be out here without him, worrying like hell.

I get to the apartment in a couple of minutes and he opens the door immediately. I manage a smile because he is dressed in my clothes. You have to imagine Jabi to picture this. the shirt is oversized on him, reaching his knees. His hair is messy on his head, his cheeks are red. There is so much colour on his face. I love this look on him. almost like he is screaming Mine.

’’Hey,’’ I reach for him and he shivers against my touch. I press my palm to his face and he closes his eyes, enjoying my touch.

There is this silent shift in our relationship, we haven’t talked about it but we both know it. We can feel it, even though we haven’t taken things to the next level. I don’t plan on doing anything about it yet. I am going to wait but while I do, I want to take care of him. show him that this love I feel for him is genuine. Jabi doesn’t think he deserves me, he has been poisoned for so long with the notion that just because he is an omega, he wouldn’t be accepted. Well, I fucking accept him, in all his glory, beauty and amazingness.

’’You’re back,’’ I drop my hand from his face and he shifts to grant me access into the house.

The tv in the living room is on but all the lights are off. There is a blanket on the couch and a bag of potato chips on the table with a bottle of coke. It seems like he has been in the living room all night, just from the look of things. ’’Have you eaten?’’ I ask him.

He nods ’’What did you eat?’’

He points to the chips on the table, I glare at him in shock ’’The pantry is full, why didn’t you eat real food.’’ It has been hours since I left him.

’’I was waiting for you,’’ he mutters.

I stop in front of him and grab his hands in mine with a gentle squeeze. He is walking on eggshells in this place but I need to let him know that he owns this apartment as much as I do. it is our place. He is bound to me for life. no backing down now.

’’Come on,’’ I lead him into the kitchen ’’What do you want to eat?’’ I ask him as I open the fridge that is fully stocked.

I have a maid that comes to clean and stock up the pantry. So I’m surprised that he didn’t explore the house, find out what it entails and make some food. I need my baby to eat, even if there is a slight discomfort in his tummy.

’’I am not hungry,’’ he dismisses.

I frown ’’I am hungry, will you eat with me?’’

His lips tilt upwards as I grab a packet of sausages and eggs from the fridge. He has to know that I am not actually hungry. I don’t need this food but my baby does, so I must feed him even if I have to eat too.

’’Can I help?’’ he walks over to me.

I grab him by his waist and the shirt ride up to his thighs. My eyes waver to them and I can’t help but stare. His legs are the palest part of his body. So soft and pale against my touch. His cheeks redden as I put him on the counter table with a nervous cough.

’’Stay pretty and watch me, baby.’’

I freeze at my words because I didn’t intend to call him baby. That term of endearment shouldn’t be used when I am trying to control myself. I don’t want to push him, I don’t want to make him think things are more than they are until they can.

He watches me and I thank the deities that he doesn’t point out on it. Going back to the food. I end up frying eggs and the sausages. Jabi watches me with so much admiration. He is looking at me like I am the king of his world. I love that I am way high up on the pedestal with him. the fact that he looks up to me is so exciting to me.

I will never let him down.

I serve the plates on the dining table and he jumps up the counter to walk ’’I was going to carry you,’’ I whine.

He giggles ’’I can walk.’’

I smile ’’I don’t mind carrying you.’’

He stops walking and stretches his hands out in the air ’’Alright, lift me up, my knight in shining armour.’’

I walk over to him with the most stupid grin plastered on my face. I have totally forgotten why I even came here in the first place. I am supposed to be bringing him back. I am getting lost in all that he is. Fuck, he is a very good distraction. My arms wrap around him as I lift him off his feet. He squeaks as my arms engulf him till he is on the chair.

’’There we go,’’ I tell him proudly which gets a chuckle from him.

I sit down opposite him and he looks at me and then at the plate in front of him. this is just a simple meal; it is not a big deal but the expression on his face tells me that it is to him. I want to get rid of that, I want him to expect these things. I don’t want them to be big deals anymore. He doesn’t have to owe me for a fucking meal. He should expect these things from now on.

’’Thank you for this,’’ he mouths as he shoves a piece of sausage down his throat.

I watch him, completely in awe of him. This little pup, so much stronger than every single person I know. He is a survivor. I’m glad he stuck it out, glad he didn’t give up. Now I can thank him for surviving.

’’I have to tell you something,’’ I manage not wanting to disrupt his meal.

’’Is everything okay?’’ concern takes over his expression.

’’Yeah, I need to take you back home?’’

His eyes open wide from shock and I realise that I didn’t phrase that properly. Shit.

’’Did I do something wrong, are you upset with me?’’ he rambles, trying to find a reason to my statement.

I jolt up from the chair because he is already panicking. I take his hands in mine to get him to focus on me ’’Baby, just breathe. I said that wrong. Fuck, I am so stupid.’’

He stops panicking and watches me with confusion ’’I am going to be staying in the community for a while. At least until everything is resolved. I want you with me. I can’t leave you here alone.’’

’’Oh...’’

’’I am not sending you back there. That is not why I asked you. I just need to make sure you are close to me all the time. Does that even make sense?’’

He nods.

I cup his face in my palm ’’Don’t ever worry about that. Don’t even let it cross your mind. I meant everything I said. YOU ARE MINE.’’

I can’t stress those words enough. I want it to stick into his head. there shouldn’t be any wavering in his mind. all the worries and fear need to leave. I am here to stay.

I fucking love him.

 

Chapter 92: Loving someone is never wrong.

Alanis.

’’Have a seat,’’ he gestures me into the room.

I walk over to him and sit down opposite him. now we are face to face and I need to get to the point.

’’So, I see everything is sorted with Beau?’’

He is talking about the rescue mission. ’’Yes.’’

’’What is the next step?’’

’’That is why I am here. I need to talk to you about something very important.’’ I go straight to the point.

There is no time to beat around the bush. There is a full moon in three days. We have to prep everything and get ready. If we don’t do this, we will end up having to wait until the next one. Beau has lost all his confidence; he doesn’t see his potential. I need to get him back on track and if this is the only way then I will gladly risk it all for him.

’’Go ahead.’’

I take a deep breath because this isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Whatever Cranwell says will have to go, he won’t take no for an answer. I owe this man everything I have in my life. He gave me a second chance at life and I am eternally grateful.

’’There is a full moon on Thursday.’’

He nods.

I hold my breath and then release it with a loud huff ’’We want to push the mating ceremony. His uncle thinks it is for the best. It will give him the strength to get ready for the battle ahead,’’

He raises a brow ’’The uncle that killed his father?’’

I shake my head; I don’t even want to remember Fallon. ’’No, okay not his uncle. His fathers friend. I’m getting sidetracked. I came here to tell you that we are performing the ceremony on Thursday.’’

’’To tell me?’’

I shake my head ’’Sorry... to ask you?’’

He smiles.

I watch him and wait for an answer. Since I put it in the way that I am seeking permission. I need him to give me permission. His eyes stay fixated on mine, no words leave his lips.

’’I know the Eli’s haven’t approved it but this is an emergency. We can explain it to them. Let them know that this is not a mistake. We are connected, father. I see him even when he is far away from me. That can’t be a fluke.’’

At this point, I am rambling to get him to see my side of this. I don’t know what is going on in his mind. Father doesn’t allow us to read his mind. it is the one thing that is forbidden in the household.

’’Do you know what you are going to have to do in this ritual?’’

I shake my head ’’We haven’t talked about it. I came over to ask you once I found out about it.’’

He laughs ’’You have no idea.’’

I don’t know what he is talking about. Right now, he is not even concerned about the Eli’s. ’’I love Beau, I am willing to lose everything.’’

He laughs ’’Even who you are?’’

I crease my brows in confusion. I don’t have a clue on what he is saying. He needs to explain things to me ’’Father, please what do you mean?’’

With the smile still on his face, he leans forward with his elbows pressed to the table ’’He will have to mark you. Strip you of everything. claim you as his. You will become one of them?’’

My heart freezes in my chest. He cannot be serious, that is not possible. I am a vampire. I have been a vampire all my life. how can one thing just take that away from me?

’’That can’t be right... is that possible?’’

’’It is a possibility. We don’t know how it works. You are the first, so whatever you do will be experimental,’’ he concludes.

’’Shit.’’

’’Are you willing to take that risk. This is not about the Eli’s. this is about you. Do you want to risk it all?’’

Do I want to risk it all?

How is this a risk?

I love Beau, with all my heart and I want to be one with him. this is inevitable. It had been decided from the moment we felt the connection. I could fight it and prolong matters but we will only be hurting ourselves. We will only end up losing.

’’I have no choice. this is out of my control.’’

He smiles ’’Everyone has a choice.’’

I furrow my brows in confusion. He explains ’’You can sever the bond. You don’t have to accept him. You will be fine without a Link.’’

Oh, so all of a sudden, I will be fine without a link. When I was with Maddie, everyone wanted me to let her go because I needed to be alone to find my link. It was so important to them all and now that I have found him, they want me to let him go.

’’What about Beau? Will he be okay?’’

’’This is not about Beau. This is about you and all the things you are willing to give up.’’

’’I am not giving anything up, I love him.’’

He laughs ’’I am guiding you. That is my role as your father. You don’t have to agree with my decisions and I won’t force you to do things you don’t want to do but I will advise you. I do not think this is a good idea.’’

’’You don’t think what is a good idea?’’

He sighs. I am refusing to listen to him. I don’t want to know his thoughts if he is going down that line. I love Beau, with all my heart and I want to be with him. I want to become one with him. I want to be everything to him.

’’Don’t do this ritual. Think about it. Let us have the meeting with the Eli’s. don’t go against them. You will regret it.’’

’’There is no time for a meeting,’’ I cry with my voice raised from the frustration of it all. I am exhausted. There is always one thing. One problem that will arise and set us back.

So, what if I stop being a vampire?

At this point, I don’t give a shit anymore. I just want to be with him. I want to defeat Cassius and live a happy life with the love of my life.

’’Stop thinking like that, you need to use your sense with this. Do not ruin your life,’’ he warns me.

’’He needs this ritual. He needs it. I have to give it to him. I want to,’’ I don’t even know why I even have to convince him anymore. As he said, it is my life. my fucking decision.

No one has a right to tell me what to do. I didn’t choose this; it was chosen for me by the deities. So, do I really have a say in this? I am tethered to him, even without the bond. I feel weak when he is away from me, I miss him when he is not around.

I am happy when he is.

Why would I want to give that up?

Finally having someone that loves me unconditionally.

’’I am doing this,’’ I conclude.

Father sighs ’’That is the wrong decision.’’

I shake my head ’’It is not. This is bigger than us. This is bigger than just being vampires and wolves. Something is happening and you are unwilling to accept it. Soon enough, you will come to understand.’’

With those words, I stand up from the chair and walk over to the door ’’Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Alanis.’’ He stops me.

I turn around and face him again ’’Do I have your blessing,’’ I stretch out the words ’’Father.’’

He sighs ’’Yes you do.’’

With that, I walk out of the room and out of the house. I don’t want to think about anything else. He basically just told me that he wouldn’t object to it but I will also regret my decision. The scariest part of everything that transpired in that room is how sure he was. Father has never been wrong in all the years I have known him. he always knew things that I would never even have an inclination of. I looked up to the man and wanted to be as strong-willed and smart as he is.

Now I am just hoping he is wrong about this.

Even if this will be the first time.

My phone rings as I go out of the house and I see Darrien’s name pop up. I press the phone to my ear as I answer it ’’Where are you?’’

’’Home, I’m on my way back to the community.’’

’’Can you pick us up from my apartment?’’

I furrow my brows ’’Why not run, I think that will be faster?’’

He sighs into the phone ’’I don’t want to overwhelm him. Just use my car. It’s in the garage.’’ He ends the call without waiting for an answer and I smile at how cute he is.

Father cannot tell me this is a mistake.

Loving someone is never a mistake.

Chapter 93: Frustrations

Alanis.

I drive over to Darrien’s apartment all because he commanded me to. Once I get to the parking lot of the building, I dial his number. He answers on the first ring.

’’I am outside,’’ I inform him.

’’Will be there in a sec.’’

It takes them a couple of minutes to get down but once I see them walk out of the front entrance, I start the car. Jabi is dressed in clothes that look way too big for him, from that I can tell they are for Darrien. Darrien opens the back seat for Jabi and the kid enters with a smile on his face.

’’Hi,’’ he mutters shyly.

I return the smile because I have always liked the kid—I don’t know, there was just something about him and now it seems like he is about to become family. Darrien ruffles his hair playfully before closing the door and walking over to the passenger door. He enters and I watch him as he drops a duffle bag on the floor below him.

He reaches for his pockets and a look of frustration hits his face ’’Shit, I forgot my phone, I will be right back,’’ he announces before running out of the car and entering the building again.

I look through the rear-view mirror at the kid and he is staring out the window ’’How are you doing?’’ I ask him to try to make light conversation.

He jumps up abruptly from my question and I see the terror in his eyes ’’Uh...’’ he stutters.

I turn around so I am facing him with a warm smile on my face. there is no need to be afraid of me, but I guess the kid has been living his life in fear.

’’I am glad Darrien found you.’’

His cheeks redden. He is adorable. Darrien opens the car door abruptly and I face the front again. We start the drive to the community ’’So what is the actual plan?’’ Darrien asks me.

My eyes stay on the road as I think of the best answer to his question. There really is no plan yet, here we are hoping that with this mating ritual, there will be more certainty in what we are going to do. Beau put all his hope on Jules and all Jules could talk about was the mating ritual, so that must mean that mating is our best bet right now.

’’We are gonna do the mating ritual,’’ I inform him.

I sneak a glance at him, and his brows are furrowed ’’Right now? I mean is that the most pressing issue?’’

He doesn’t get it. Darrien fully believes in finding Cassius and killing him. I don’t think killing Cassius will be that easy. The man is a monster, he is full of hate and anger. Those are the hardest people to get rid of.

’’I think mating will make him stronger. Right now, we need him to be the strongest he can be.’’

’’Oh...what does that mean for you?’’

That is a question that has been running through my head all day. Fathers words flash in my mind. the fear that I could end up losing myself in the process. I don’t want to lose myself, but I will rather that than lose the only person that is important to me.

Is being a vampire really all that I am?

Can’t there be more to me and why do I have to lose a part of myself to be happy?

No one knows what will happen in the ritual. This is all just speculation that my father is making up. He is thinking of worst-case scenarios. Here I am, hoping that I don’t have to sacrifice anything to be with Beau but also ready to give it all for him.

’’I honestly don’t know; I am not even scared of the consequences. I just want to be with him.’’

He nods in understanding.

We get to the community and Darrien gets Jabi out of the car. We do the hike to the gates and Darrien whispers something into the kid’s ears. I don’t try to listen in, but I watch him as he walks through it, out of sight.

’’I need to talk to you,’’ he grabs my arm gently.

I nod and remain outside. There is a wolf by the gate, probably on guard duty, so he pulls me to a corner ’’I am losing my mind,’’ he manages with so much frustration etched in his voice.

’’What is wrong?’’

He lets go of my arm and I watch him as his fingers run through his hair ’’How does this mating stuff work?’’

Okay, so we are talking about the kid. I wanted him to figure things out on his own and I guess he has figured it out. ’’Did something happen between you and the kid?’’

He shakes his head ’’I am just losing all control.’’

’’What do you mean,’’

I don’t really understand what he is saying. I know how it felt when I found Beau. The things I wanted to do with him. how badly I wanted him. is it the same with him and Jabi?

’’How do you handle being with him,’’ I furrow my brows and he adds ’’Like, do you have thoughts about him?’’

’’You have to explain what you mean; I am completely confused.’’

I don’t know what he is saying.

He sighs running his hands through his hair again ’’Like, sexual thoughts.’’

This must be really hard for him. I have never had this kind of conversation with Darrien before. We were never close, to begin with. He is the kind of person that liked to keep to himself. Now we are talking about sexual frustrations.

A smile sprawls on my face and he groans, obviously embarrassed. ’’Never mind. forget I said anything,’’ he starts to walk away but I grab him back to me.

’’Dude, calm down. I am really happy for you.’’

He frowns ’’Happy that I am thinking thoughts I shouldn’t be about a kid?’’

Oh, I see.

So, he is beating himself up because of the age difference ’’How old is he?’’ I ask him.

He sighs ’’Sixteen.’’

Ouch.

I don’t know how this works. I mean he is underage but I don’t think that applies to wolves.

’’I don’t think it matters... I mean his age but I am not sure. I will talk to Beau about it.’’

He shakes his head ’’I don’t want to do anything with him. he is just a kid. I won’t rob him of his innocence.’’

So, his conscience is playing big here. I understand what he means, and I completely support whatever he decides but I know it won’t be easy. There is this pull that will keep pushing him to Jabi. At the end of the day, he might not be strong enough to resist it.

’’Will you be alright being with him alone all the time?’’

He sighs ’’I don’t know but I also don’t want to leave him alone. I can’t have anything happen to him with everything that is happening.’’

I nod in understanding ’’I get.’’

’’Do you think we are going to mate the same way you guys have to?’’ he asks me.

That is another thing that crossed my mind. I don’t know if it is the same since Jabi is an Omega. ’’You know the fact that you have accepted that he is your link is the first step. I will get more information on it.’’

’’Thanks, man.’’

We part ways and I smile because this will only bring me and Darrien closer. We have so much to relate to now. Thinking about everything now, no wonder we always clashed. The fact that we have so much in common. We are both in love with wolves.

It is all so surreal.

I grab my phone and dial Beau’s number because I don’t know where he would be now. He answers the call on the first ring ’’You back?’’ he asks immediately.

I smile into the phone because just hearing his voice is calming down my nerves. Everything that happened with my father, I want them to be a distant memory. He basically said he wasn’t going to bless our union.

’’Yeah, where are you?’’

’’With Jules at the cemetery. The Burial ceremony is just beginning.’’ I look around the compound and sure enough, the place is sparse. Everyone seems to be at the cemetery.

I was there for the last one, I didn’t like it. I don’t think this one will be any better. They had to bury three people the last time, now they must bury eight of their loved ones. People with children, families. I don’t how to watch the sight. Their bodies sprawled on the cold ground as they give them back to the earth.

’’Do I need to be there?’’ I ask him to completely avoid everything.

He sighs into the phone ’’What happened?’’

He can already sense that something is wrong. He knows that the meeting with my father didn’t go well and I haven’t said anything.

I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to waver his thoughts. He has agreed to it. I wouldn’t do anything to ruin the mating process but will he be happy with me if he finds out that I knew something and kept it from him?

What do I do?

Chapter 94: Game over

Darrien.

He opens the front door of his house and my heart breaks from the sight of it. Okay, so this kid, of just sixteen years old had to live alone in these conditions and no one gave a shit about him. The living room is dark, so he runs over to a switch and the room brightens.

I don’t even know how to describe this. His place was at the outskirts of the community. It’s a small building, almost like an abandoned place. This is where he has been subjected to live all his life. this is the place he has been calling home? If I didn’t know Beau and Alanis, at this moment, they would’ve been my enemies.

These people treated him like shit. Made him feel worthless and I still don’t understand why?

They are supposed to be his family, his pack. No one gave a shit about him ’’It’s not much.’’ He explains as he tries to clear his things that are around the couch. There is a table in front of the couch but no other furniture.

I walk over to him as he tries to rummage his belongings. He looks nervous, he doesn’t need to be.

I completely understand him.

’’You don’t have to do anything, it is perfect,’’ I grab his hands in mine and my heart thuds against my chest. These are all the impulsive actions that I can’t control. Touching him, wanting to hold him. the things I told Alanis about. The things I wish I had the strength to resist. Here I am looking at this person and I am overwhelmed with emotions, like a volcano about to erupt.

’’I didn’t get any chance to pack my stuff,’’ he still explains even though I didn’t ask.

’’I know,’’ I slide my hand over his arm. Just slightly, on reflex. Not what I intended but he exclaims faintly from my touch and I hold my breath because how can something so trivial, so tiny, affect me so greatly. I keep my hand wrapped around his arm because my fucking body does what it wants.

I have always had the highest self-control out of everyone in my family. Yes, I could be a jerk. That was my defence mechanism but at this moment, I am weak to Jabi.

’’Do you want something to drink? I realise I didn’t offer you anything,’’ he breathes out those words, I can hear the apprehension in his tone.

I manage a smile through all the chaos in my mind. ’’I am not a guest.’’ He furrows his brows, so I add ’’I am here with you... I am not a guest in your home. You are my home.’’

It might take a while for it to sink in. the fact that I am here to stay in his life. I am not going anywhere. I am never leaving him; he will never be alone again. Death can’t even take me away from him.

’’Why does this seem too good to be true?’’ he asks me. we are in the middle of this dainty living room just holding him.

’’I am here... with you. You need to start believing that.’’

’’Are you my mate?’’

Okay, complete shock at his words. We have both thought that. I mean it is something that has been in my mind all this while, but I haven’t said it out l oud... to him. I didn’t want to scare him; I don’t know how he feels about the fact that I am a vampire. That we will have to become one. all those things were thoughts that I pushed so far in my head because I didn’t want to overwhelm him.

’’Wh...what?’’ I stutter at a loss for words.

He smiles and moves closer to me with my hand still clutching unto his arm as if my life depends on it. Our bodies are just inches apart, his scent flaring up my nostrils. I have gotten so used to every feature he possesses. His face has been imprinted in my mind. engraved by just looking at him. his touch, even if my eyes were closed, I would know his touch in an instant. I have heard so many stories about finding your link. Fuck, I have seen it firsthand in my family. I see how Eligio looks at Elu. I desperately craved it, sometimes thought it was all a hoax but now in this moment my heart racing against my chest. I believe it all. I am grateful that I get the chance to feel this way.

The look in his eyes. It is soul-piercing.

’’Are you my mate Dar,’’ he calls me by my nickname.

My heart thuds.

And thuds.

My hands tremble.

And shiver.

’’I don’t know Jabi, am I?’’ I don’t want to be the one to tell him how he feels. He should know if I am his mate. He should feel it, be overwhelmed with emotions as I am.

’’I don’t know. Is it supposed to feel like you’re suffocating?’’

I furrow my brows ’’Suffocating?’’

He nods ’’My heart,’’ he pulls his arm away from my grip gently and clutches the shirt I gave him ’’I feel like I can’t breathe when I see you when I touch you. I feel like if I don’t kiss you, I will die.’’

Those words get to my heartstrings. They tug at me, pull me, toss me until I can’t even stand properly. I grab the end of the couch, my way of calming myself down. I can feel my heart as it speeds up against my chest. How do I respond to that? what do I say now?

This is the problem; I am trying so hard. So fucking hard to control myself from all these emotions. I don’t want to rob him of his innocence. I don’t want to make him do things he doesn’t know anything about but how can I stay strong when he is my only weakness?

At this point, he is just watching me. he has said all he has to say. I am supposed to speak but I can’t. ’’This is so hard for me baby,’’ I cry, still holding unto the chair.

’’Me too. I don’t want to hold back.’’

This is pure temptation.

The kind I cannot resist.

The kind I don’t want to resist anymore.

He reaches for me and I don’t fight him, I don’t have the power to fight him ’’I couldn’t sleep that night. When you left. I stayed up looking at the door, waiting for you to come back to me.’’ he places his palm on my cheek. I close my eyes because I don’t know what I will do if he continues to look at me with those big brown eyes.

I didn’t sleep either.

I didn’t want to leave him. Especially after everything that happened but I had no choice. I thought about him all night.

’’I think you are my mate. In fact, I am sure you are mine.’’

Mine.

He just claimed me, and he doesn’t even know it. I have been HIS from the first time I laid my eyes on him. he has owned me, the first time I saw him sitting on that rock with that sad expression on his face.

’’Why are you so perfect? Why do you have the words to make me succumb to you?’’ if the forces are against what I am about to do. I need something to happen. Someone should stop this because I can’t anymore. I don’t have any willpower left in me.

’’You feel the same way, so why do we have to fight this?’’ his fingers brush against my skin. The butterflies dance ecstatically in my tummy. The chills I feel from just his touch alone make everything certain.

The words are in my mouth, at the tip of my tongue but how do I explain to him that he is just a child and to me, it feels fucking wrong to have these thoughts. Thoughts that I can’t control.

’’I love you Darrien.’’

I don’t know how to handle all this. I don’t know how to stop him—I don’t even want to stop him. I feel the same fucking way.

’’Say it again.’’ I plead desperately, to hear those words.

He smiles, the smile I have come to love. The way his eyes shine, almost like he is staring at my soul. Like he can see all that I feel. ’’I love you Darrien Dravon,’’ he calls me by my full name. Somehow that makes it even more meaningful.

I waited for the sign. The sign that that would stop what I am about to do. That pull is back, and it is sucking me in. there is no fighting it anymore, I can’t do anything to resist him. The only way I can control myself is if I stay away from him and I will never stay away from him. I will never leave him.

Resting my head on his forehead ’’I am going to kiss you now,’’ I breathe those words so close to his face that I can almost taste him.

He smiles ’’I thought you’d never ask.’’

Game over.

Chapter 95: Kisses.

Jabi.

His lips meet mine in a frenzy and my heart cries from all the happiness I am feeling from this.

I have never kissed anyone.

In all my sixteen years, I have never been kissed. I think the fact that he is my first makes it all worth it. Makes this even more special. This kiss is not gentle, I don’t even want it to be. just like in the movies, after all the tension, the longing. The moment your lips meet and the fireworks erupt. That is how it feels as he presses to me and slides his tongue into my mouth for more. I feel one with him, I feel connected. Like our bodies are slowly becoming one from just one kiss.

If I had any doubts about us being mates, I am completely certain now. My life flashes right before my eyes. I see the future. All we can be. I see a family; I see myself belonging to someone... finally.

We move until I feel my back hit the wall softly. In all scenarios, Darrien treats me like I am fragile. Like if I am not handled properly, I would break but at this moment. In this beautiful kiss, he isn’t fragile. he isn’t gentle and I never knew I could love something so much. Kissing always looked gross, so I always felt like it wouldn’t be something I enjoyed. Oh boy, do I enjoy his lips on mine.

He moans into my mouth and that sound will be the end of me. that sound that I never thought I would hear from me. the melodious sound that he just blessed me with. I grab unto him wanting to be even closer—at this point it is not even possible. I am as close as I can get but I want more, I crave more.

He grabs me by my waist, his lips still on mine. He doesn’t stop kissing me, even as he pushes me to couch and slide on top of me. I feel him against me, and my body reacts to him, to his touch. This is the most I have felt in all my life and I never want to lose this. I never want to go back from being intimate. I don’t just want him to take care of me, I want to be his boyfriend, I want to wake up next to him. I want him to love me in the same way that I love him.

I can’t go back from this.

Our lips never part except for a couple of seconds to get air. I hold him, hold him tight from the fear of not getting this moment again. The fear that he will realise what is happening and stop this. wanting more than just this kiss at this moment, I slide my hand into his shirt. he stiffens against my touch but doesn’t stop. Feeling him, like touching him. The texture of his skin against mine is a different kind of feeling. I don’t know how to explain how I am feeling. This is a new thing for me. I haven’t even explored my body; I mean on my own—sexually but I want him to.

I want to give him all of me. My hands grab the hem of his shirt, I want to take it off. I want to feel his skin on mine. Slowly his shirt rides up, almost where I want it. I hear a groan as it travels down my mouth. Slowly he pulls apart from the kiss with his eyes closed. ’’Fuck,’’ he cries so low, that I almost don’t hear him.

I don’t want him to stop. I am not done. I want to know more. I want to explore his body. How will he taste? How will he feel when his shirt it off?

No.

I am beneath him, watching him, waiting for him to realise that he wants more than just a kiss. He wants all of me the way I do, him.

’’There’s no doubt now,’’ he murmurs softly.

I don’t know what he is talking about, but I have an inkling. He is talking about us. That kiss opened doors. Showed me things more clearly. I know what I want now, and I hope he wants the same things I do.

Right now, I want to kiss him. I bend my head forward in a way to try to kiss him again. He sits up on the couch, suddenly detaching from me. No, no, no, no. I don’t want him to let go. I want him closer; I want to taste him again.

’’Do you still think what we did is wrong?’’ I sit up on the couch in the other corner.

He sighs and then runs his hands through his hair. I can feel the awkwardness in the room. I don’t regret the kiss. I will never regret something that made me feel the way I feel right now. For the first time in my life, I feel content, happy. I feel like I deserve to live. I don’t feel like a waste of space and that is all because of Darrien. In just a short time, he has made me feel so much and I am grateful to him.

’’No, I am just so confused,’’ he answers me.

’’Why?’’

He shrugs and then bends till his elbows are pressed on his knees and his hands are covering his face. he doesn’t want to look at me... why?

’’That felt better than I thought it would,’’ he says those words and I can’t help but smile. Happy that he feels that way about our kiss.

’’Me too,’’ being honest about my feelings feel great.

’’I don’t know what to do about this. I want this so badly,’’ he cries.

He wants me. Well, I am here, and I want him too. There is no reason to feel guilty, to think that this is wrong. He is my mate. He is mine, we didn’t choose this. it was fate. We are meant to be together.

I move to him in an instant, unsure of where this sudden courage is coming from. On my knees, I look up to him as he removes his hands from his face. ’’This is not wrong Darrien. Love is never wrong.’’

’’I know...fuck don’t I know this. Maybe I pushed you into thinking this is what you want. You’re just a kid.’’

He keeps repeating that. I hate that he looks at me and concludes that I am a kid. I haven’t been a kid all my life. I was forced to grow up before I needed to. Fend for myself. I didn’t have anyone. I stopped being a kid the moment my parents died.

’’It’s not fair,’’ I cry.

He looks at me as I continue ’’You have no right. How dare you say my feelings aren’t real? How there you act like you are the only one that has validity to how they feel. I just told you I love you. I fucking love you and all you can say is that I am a kid.’’

I rarely curse, in fact, I don’t spew out words like that, but I am angry. I upset that he doesn’t want to give this a chance, all because I am two fucking years younger than him. he might act like he is way older than me because he has lived longer, but he died a fucking teenager. He became who he is because he got a second chance. I finally have my second chance to be who I really am, and he is refusing me.

All the anger in me that I feel at this moment cannot be contained. This is something I am passionate about.

I stand up to my feet and walk into my room as fast as I can. I don’t want him to see me cry. This feels like rejection. I just got him, so why am I being rejected right now. I close the door in a hurry and rest my back on it. I hear his footsteps until he stops outside the door. His breathing is heavy against the door.

’’Baby,’’ he calls me through the door.

Tears well up in my eyes as I try to be tough. He thinks I am a kid. I can’t be crying right now. I should be braver.

’’I love you too... I love you with my whole being. I have loved you since I saw you. I have wanted to kiss you since that motherfucking vampire took you. I don’t mean to make you upset. I just don’t know how to handle this. Please help me, give me time to understand this.’’

I can feel the sincerity from his words. I don’t know how that is possible, I can’t see him, but I know he is genuine. This is new for the both of us, I shouldn’t make him carry the burden of this alone. I should act a lot more mature; prove to him that I am not a kid.

I open the door and he is standing there as I knew he would ’’I am sorry,’’ he says not moving.

I take the first steps to him and reach for him ’’You don’t have to apologise. I guess I overreacted.’’

He shakes his head and brushes a tear from my cheek ’’You didn’t. I don’t mean to make you feel so small. I don’t want to do anything to ruin this. I want you for the rest of my life.’’

I smile ’’I want you too.’’

He nods ’’Can we take this one step at a time? Figure out what this is?’’

’’Sure.’’

He leans forward and I watch him, unsure of what he wants to do. his lips press to mine softly and my heart races as he kisses me again. This kiss is different, innocent. Almost like he is giving me the assurance I need.