Ch. 131..135: I Will Never Be Yours Chapter 131-135
Chapter 131
Selena POV:
Following after the guards down the hallway I walk with heavy steps, I know I have to pull through even if he doesn’t come to the appointment. He could as well only get the news after and don’t have to face me!
Walking down the hallway we pass by his bedroom and I see them still fixing it up, turning my head back we come to the stairs and start to walk down. I guess we are going to drive over to a doctor or wherever he plans for me to go.
Down in the hallway, we walk past his office and I hear some voices inside before we turn around a corner and walk away from the entrance when they stop right in front of a door.
A nurse opens it up and I see a doctor inside with all the machines I could think of and a delivery bed, feeling how my hands start to sweat at the sight of it, and my heart starts to beat faster. All this is making it so real! And I guess Kian has set this up here so I don’t have to go outside his doors.
“My Queen come inside!” I hear the doctor say when the nurse comes out and grabs my arm before she starts to pull me inside the room.
“You don’t have to be nervous! We are only going to run some tests before the ultrasound, want to make sure both mother and children feeling well!” he says when the nurse walks over with me to the bed and I take a seat. I guess Kian have told them we believe there is more than one.
Hearing the door being closed I turn my head and see we are alone in here and I guess I have to do this by myself, a big part of me wanted him to be in here with me but after everything, I’m not surprised.
“Pull up your shirt I will take a blood test and check your blood pressure!” he says and I still can’t find my words when the nurse starts to pull on my arm. Letting her help me to pull it up the doctor takes my blood and checks my pressure before he turns around to place the blood somewhere and scribes down my blood pressure.
“Does everything look alright?” I have to ask him when he is done.
“Your blood pressure is fine and for the blood test, we have to wait for the results to come back before I know more. Now lay down and pull your shirt up a bit!” he says when I lay down on the bed and do what he wants. The nurse walks over and turns off the lights before she comes back and pulls down my pants a bit, the doctor turns on a screen and takes a tube in his hand.
“This will be a bit cold!” he says when he places some gel on my stomach. The door is suddenly opened and my eyes land on Kian when he walks inside the room, his eyes meet mine for a short moment and it makes my heart takes one extra beat in my chest.
He has dark circles under his eyes and he is completely cut off, I feel tears prick behind my eyelids at the sight of him when he walks closer to the bed and stands with his arms crossed over his chest and his back turned at me.
He doesn’t have to say anything I feel his unease about being in the same room as me. Feeling the doctor place something on my stomach I turn my head to look his way.
“it’s early in the pregnancy but I believe we will see enough!” he says when I see a black spot on the screen and a beating heart. Tears start to run down my cheeks when he moves it a bit and there is a second heartbeat.
“By the look of it, you are expecting twins and they both have a steady heartbeat! Congratulations!” the doctor says and I can’t take my eyes away from the screen, I’m going to be a mother of two.
“Can you see anything else? When is the due date?” I hear Kian say and it has me to turn my head and look at him. He stands there and looks at the screen with a face that shows no expression, I can’t tell if he is happy about it or what he feels.
“It’s too early, but since you are the Alpha king and she’s an Alpha the pregnancy often goes quicker! We have to make regular checkups to make sure both mother and children are doing fine!” the doctor says and I turn back my head and look at my womb. the screen, our children are alive with their small heartbeats and inside It’s hard to really understand it!
“When will you have the results of the tests?” Kian asks and the nurse starts to wipe away the gel from my stomach when the doctor turns off the screen and places it to the side.
“I believe they will be done by tomorrow after lunch! I will call you right away once I have them in my hands!” he says when the nurse walks over and turn on the lights again. Pulling down my shirt I sit up in the bed and toss my legs over the edge of the bed.
“Anything else?” Kian asks when he takes a step closer to the door, I get this feeling he wants to leave right away.
“We will keep a close watch on her blood tests and let you know if there is anything alarming and she needs some blood. If it’s the trait she gets from the vampire it will come quickly once it starts!” the doctor says and I snap my head and look at Kian. He knows! Who told him? By the numbers who know it, It could be any one of them.
“Anything else?” he says and I’m too stunned to find my words, someone has told him everything and I guess it’s Emma and Cannon
“She must get enough sleep and nutrition, it’s not good for her or the children if she is under too much stress! Other than that enjoy this time before you get your hands full!” the doctor says with a smile on
his lips.
The last part I don’t see happening when it’s obvious Kian doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me. I see him give the doctor a nod before he heads out the door without looking at me even one more time.
Chapter 132
Selena POV:
Walking out of the room I find his guards standing outside and waiting for me, seeing Kian turning around the corner I walk by the guards to hurry after him. I need to talk to him!
“Where are you going!” I hear one of the guards say and I hear fast steps walk up behind me.
“I need to talk to him!” I say and turn around the corner I saw him walk down.
An arm comes to stop me and I swirl around to face the guard. I cannot recommend for you to talk to him right now, we haven’t seen him this angry before and nothing good will come out of you pushing him further! I suggest you wait until he has calmed down first” the guard says but I need to talk to him right now, can he even get angrier?
“No, I need to talk to him!” I say and turn around to walk after him.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” he says to my back while I keep walking down the hallway to his office.
Standing in front of it have a hard time knocking at first when I hear the guards stand behind me I take a deep breath and knock on the door, when he doesn’t walk over and open the door I push it open and walk inside instead. Closing the door after me I see him sitting behind his desk and looking at some papers, he doesn’t lift his head to look at me.
“Can we talk?” I ask him and take a few steps closer, I feel his anger radiating out of him and I wish there were anything I could do to make this better. I only want to explain some things to him.
“Please Kian!” I say when he places his papers down and gets up on his feet and turn his back against me.
“I have nothing to say to you!” he says with anger in his voice.
“I just want to explain myself!” I say when he turns around and looks at me with his black eyes, I instantly want to take a step back from his rage.
“Explain what Selena! That you have known it for days and didn’t want to tell me! Because what? You thought I couldn’t handle a child picking up a trait from him?” he says and takes a few steps closer to where I am. He has a hateful look on him and my words get stuck in my mouth.
“I’m the Alpha king don’t you think I know of these kinds of things! But you didn’t trust in me that much to let me in on it once you found out, you didn’t think the father of your children deserves to know it before everyone else! You decided to keep me in the dark, so tell me what you want to explain. The fact that you decided to risk their lives for your pack members and yourself in a stupid rescue mission. without letting anyone follow you! What Selena do you want to explain!?WHAT!” he booms at me and I jump back a step from the anger that surrounds him.
He is right what is there to explain, I messed up in every possible way this time. There isn’t anything I can say to put me in a better light, I did this! He has every right to be angry at me!
“You’re right!” I say in a low voice and keep my eyes on the floor when I hear him take a step closer to where I am, I feel his hate for me and tears start to prick behind my eyelids.
“I have never been betrayed by anyone the way you have done and it’s forgivable! From this on you will not leave this castle without my permission! A guard will follow you every day to train with Michael, other than that you will eat and go to the doctor every time he tells you to! You will sleep in my bedroom and if I find out you have portaled away from here or done anything you shouldn’t I will find you and lock you up down in my cellar! Is that clear” he says and lets his aura wash over me, it takes my breath away for a moment when I feel him stand right in front of me.
“Is that clear!” he booms out again and I have to swallow several times until I manage to answer him.
“Yes!” I say in a low voice while keeping my eyes on the floor. He stands there for a moment before he turns around and walks inside his office again. I take a deep breath when he is a bit away from me and place my hand on the wall for some support. I knew he was angry but this I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams, I know I have pushed it way too far this time!
There is a knock on the door when it’s opened and his father comes inside with a frown on his face.
“What is going on inside here!” he says and I lift my eyes from the floor and turn around to walk out of there when his father grabs my arm and holds it.
“Are you alright Selena?” he asks and I just give him a nod when I pull my arm out of his grip and push by him out of his office.
The guard was right I should have waited to go inside there I know that now.
I don’t wait to hear him say I could leave I think he has said everything that needs to be said and those angry words can’t be taken back.
Taking a large breath when I step out in the hallway and my tears are about to spill over I take fast steps and hurry down the hall and up the stairs to his room where I am supposed to stay.
Once I come upstairs I push the door open and get inside before closing it after me, tears start to run down my cheeks and I let them while I take a large inhale of his scent that lingers in the room.
Slowly making my way over to his closet I open the doors and feel his scent fill up in my lungs, grabbing a shirt from the shelf I take a large in hail on it and a sob leaves my lips it’s painful like nothing else.
It’s getting hard to breath and my lungs squeeze in my chest when I feel my gift stir around under my skin, shielding me from this pain and my mate bond. Bit by bit it starts to take over more and I let it
shield me, it gets easier to breathe for every second.
Is this what Michael told me I would learn to shield myself? Will I finally be able to make a progress?
Holding his shirt close to my chest I let his scent soothe me when I feel tired like nothing else and lay down on the floor in his closet with his shirt in my arms.
My gift is lulling me into calmness and it’s a strange feeling but I welcome it!
Chapter 133
Selena POV:
Waking up the next morning I find myself laying on the bed and I know I haven’t gone there myself. Sitting up I look around me and find I’m still in the same clothes as yesterday and I’m laying on his bed with a quilt over me.
He is not in here and I don’t think he has been in here for the whole night, turning my head I look at the nightstand and see it’s early in the morning and time for me to head over to Michael’s.
Pulling the quilt off me I place my feet on the floor and instantly got this urge to use the bathroom. I have been asleep for the rest of the day and night without waking up and now I’m about to burst if I can’t get to the toilet and empty my bladder, after that, I need to eat!
Rushing inside the bathroom I do my business before washing up and brushing my teeth, it only takes me a moment to be done before I head over to his closet and find my clothes on a shelf. Taking down a pair of pants I pull them on myself and grab a shirt before I head out from his closet and take it on. It’s a strange feeling inside my body, I still feel cut off from everything that hurts.
I have no complaints if it will help me to keep moving forward and do what I have to do. They told me it’s important for me to shield my child from dark magic, and if I have one goal it’s to do everything I can to keep my children safe! No one will ever harm them!
Reaching the door I open it when I find a guard standing outside the door. He turns to look at me when I come outside the room.
“I’m here to follow you over to your training today!” he says and I give him a nod.
“I will only grab me some breakfast then I’m ready to go! Is the kitchen free right now? I don’t want to run into anyone!” I say when I see him mind link someone.
I guess he understands who I don’t want to run into.
“Yes, the kitchen is free!” he says and I start to walk down the hallway and hurry down the stairs. I can’t get fast enough over to Michael’s and find out of I am on the right track. Coming down to the last step I start to head over to the kitchen, I don’t care what I’m going to eat only there is food.
Opening the fridge once I’m inside the kitchen I find a plate of leftovers that looks delicious but I decide to take a sandwich or two on the go. Fixing them quickly I start to eat while I take the dish away, drinking a large glass of juice I take the other sandwich in my hand and open a portal right in the kitchen, looking over at the guard I wait for him to move but he just stands there and looks at the portal.
“Come!” I say and grab his arm before pulling him with me through the portal, closing it after us when we get out on the order side.
“Here is his house, I will be inside and train with Michael!” I say and start to head over to the door when I knock on it before walking inside. I find him as usual standing in the kitchen and once he hears me he turns around with a big smile on his lips before he walks over and wraps me up in a hug.
“If you had waited and listened to me I could have warned you what was going to happen. How do you feel?” he says and for a moment I almost break down in a sob before my gift cut me off from that feeling. It’s strange to say at least but I welcome it.
“What’s going on Selena!” I hear him say when I start to draw some energy from him, it’s hard at the moment to let go when his energy swirls around in my veins but I can let it slip back again.
“Something happened yesterday when I was the saddest, I felt it cut me off from my feelings!” I say to him when I instantly feel him trying to pull from my energy but I can block him today. He let go of me
and place me at arm’s length when he looks intensely at me.
“The way you are doing it is partly right, but a warning Selena don’t let it cut you off too much or you will be completely in a shell with walls around you!” he says and to me, I don’t see anything harmful with it.
“Sometimes a wall is good to keep a heart from breaking into unrepairable. Tiny shreds are hard to try and puzzle back together!” I say and look at him, the pain I have felt through these days has shown me I need my walls to keep moving forward.
This is for the sake of my children and the threat we might have to face, I have to be strong and prepared.
“Come Selena I will make you some tea, we need to sit down and have a talk today!” he says and starts to head over to the stove. I look at him from behind and know this will be a long conversation with the way he is right now.
Walking over to where he stands I see him take different cans down from a shelf before he makes the tea, some of the herbs I know what it is but not all of them. When the scent of the tea reaches my nose I instantly feel my mouth water up.
“Here! Take a seat by the table!” he says and I take my cup and walk over to my place and sit down. Taking my cup up to my mouth I take a sip of the delicious hot tea while he makes his cup and turns around to walk over to sit in front of me.
Waiting for him to begin he gets lost in his thoughts when he starts to look out into nothing.
“There are some things you need to know about your new gift, some parts of the good and the bad you have already seen but there is something else!” he says and I place my cup down in front of me to pay him all my attention.
“The way you feel now can be good sometimes when you have to shield yourself from something, but it’s easy to let it take over too much and for too long. Then you will get stuck in it and cut off from your feelings and the mate bond if you are not careful!” he says and looks at me.
“You’re saying if I’m not careful it can cut me off completely from my feelings and the mate bond?” I say in disbelief and look at him like this is some kind of joke.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying! And you won’t be able to snap out of it.”
Chapter 134
Selena POV:
Walking out of my portal outside the castle I head up the stairs and open the front doors and get inside.
It’s almost evening and I’m tired from the long day with Michael, we have done nothing else but train and learning me to shield myself from spells these last three weeks.
He says I might be needing it and the more I know the better prepared I will be once I need it, I know he has had visions about something but I don’t care to ask him I know he will tell me when he can. Just like Emma always has!
During these three weeks, I have dropped the pack completely, I know they are in good hands with Kian and he told me I where no longer in charge then I have been focusing my time on training and learning everything I need to keep me and my children safe.
I asked Michael to buy me a laptop the first day and he fixed it till I came back the next day, I can’t place my focus on something I can’t change and if I’m going to take my pack back once this is over I need to have my finance ready to make it by myself and that’s what I have been doing. Working for myself!
It was easy to know what to do once it all where placed on the edge! I contacted my bosses through my mail and gave them my resignation before I started my own company through the computer.
I know everything about this business and I’m good at it so why not start my own and take some clients?
It didn’t take long until I got the first mail from an old client who wanted to go with me and wanted to be my client, so this is what I do with all my spare time after I have trained with Michael.
Focusing on getting a good life for myself and my children, that’s what I’m doing right now.
Not once during these weeks has Kian met me, he hasn’t been with me to any doctor’s appointments and he never came back to his bedroom. We are like two ships in the night doing everything we can to avoid even running into each other.
One day I noticed that most of his clothes were gone from his chambers and I knew he wasn’t coming back, that day I took my belongings and head down the hallway to the guest room instead.
Since he understood I wasn’t going to teleport anywhere he dropped the guard outside the room and I don’t have anyone by my side to Michael any longer. Now I only need to report to the guard down in the hallway I’m back and when I leave then I’m free from them.
I know both Emma and Jessie have tried to mind link me but I keep them cut off from me, I have other things to put my focus on, and whatever they need in the pack they have Kian and their mates.
Walking down the hallway I’m planning on working for a few hours before it’s time for bed and a new day tomorrow, holding a book in my hand and reading the first side while I’m walking. I asked Michael if he could borrow some books for me since I don’t even want to ask Kian about them, I try to learn everything I need to know about raising children. I have no idea what I’m facing and I want to be prepared for this as well.
Turning down the hallway I know the guard will be standing and waiting down there when I come back. Engulfed in my book I keep walking and accidentally walk by someone who is standing right when I come inside, my hand gets brushed against another and tiny tingles play on my skin for a milli second until they are gone again.
It doesn’t affect me the slightest and I just keep walking even if I know who it is, I know Michael has warned me time and time again about this but I like being cut off from all feelings. The amount of things
I manage to get done this way is better! He made it perfectly clear he wants nothing to do with me and I give him what he wants.
I keep walking by them where he is talking to the guard and Cannon, going over to the stairs with my eyes glancing at the book.
“Everything alright Selena? Emma wants to talk to you!” I hear Cannon say while I take my first step up the stairs.
“Fine! She has others she can talk to!” I say and keep climbing up the stairs and don’t care to turn and look at them or hear him say anything else.
Reaching the top of the stairs I head down the hallway and reach the guest room, opening the door I get inside and close it after me when I turn on the lights.
Placing the book down on the bed I get over to the bathroom and start to take my clothes off me and place them down on the sink before I head over to the shower and turn on the water. This is the best time of the day to stand under the warm water and let it pour down my body, closing my eyes I turn my head up and let the water hit my face.
I don’t know for how long I have been standing inside the shower when I start to wash my hair and body quickly, I have some hours of work to do before it’s time for sleep.
Turning off the shower I walk out and wrap a towel around my body when I hear some footsteps outside the door and the handle is being turned but since I locked the door no one is coming inside if they don’t break down the door.
Standing in my place I listen for the footsteps and wait to see what will happen, I’m not even sure if Kian knows I have moved from his room or not. I actually don’t care right now what he knows and
doesn’t, not once has he shown he cares about the children even if he is angry at me and can’t forgive me if he wanted the kids he would have been with me at the appointments at least.
Hearing the footsteps slowly walk away from the door and head down the hallway I pull on my pajamas and start to dry my hair before heading out to the bed.
Taking a seat on the bed I start to work for a few hours before I place the computer down on the nightstand beside me, taking the book I lay down and start to read it for a long moment before I turn off the light and lay down to get some hours of sleep.
I don’t know for how long I have been sleeping when I hear paws walking down the hallway and come to stop right outside the door when it starts to sniff for a long moment.
Nothing more happens and I place my head back down on the pillow and go back to sleep.
Chapter 135
Selena POV:
When I woke up the next morning I got this urge to pee and it’s the same every morning. Tossing the quilt off me I sit up and place my feet down on the floor and rise, my head instantly starts to spin and I have to sit back down again and wait for it to subside.
I know there isn’t anything wrong with my blood sample, I where down at the doctor’s two days ago, and everything where fine. As off now he wants to check my blood with two weeks apart if I don’t feel anything unusual in the meantime.
I have been feeling fine except I start to get tired faster in the evening and sometimes during the day I could fall asleep standing right up but he says it’s normal.
Trying again I take it easier this time when I slowly rise from my seat and make sure I don’t walk too fast when I make my way inside the bathroom. Heading over to the toilet I empty my bladder before I get over and wash up, brushing my hair I look at myself in the mirror and I guess I’m starting to look a bit pale and I might need to try and get to bed earlier tonight.
When I’m done in the bathroom I head over to the room and start to take on my clothes when there is a knock on the door, I stop in my track to listen if I heard it right! Looking at the nightstand I see it’s only seven in the morning and I haven’t been disturbed by anyone here during these weeks.
I have no idea who it is and pull my thick sweater on me before I slowly start to walk over to the door, stopping right in front of it I debate with myself if I have to open it or not when the knock is there again.
Turning the lock I slowly open the door to find Emma standing in the hallway, she looks worn out and when her eyes meet mine she starts to cry before she pushes the door open and throws herself around
my neck.
“I miss you like hell! Can you please stop shutting me out!” she says in a sob and I place my arms around her and hug her back, I feel bad for her.
“How are you doing? Where have you been all this time” she says and releasing me from the hug and looking at me. Shrugging my shoulders in a response to her before I turn around and walk over to my socks and take a seat on the bed.
“I’m fine! Been here!” I say and bend down and start to take the first one on.
“You don’t sleep in his bedroom? Then where does he sleep?” she says and I hear her concern in her voice.
“No, I don’t, I have no idea where he sleeps. Haven’t talked to him or met him for these three weeks!” I say and take on the next sock before reaching for my shoes.
“Why? I thought you two were working it out!” she says in shock when I take on my shoes and stand up from the bed.
“No, and I don’t see it happening! That man hates me and he made it perfectly clear to me.” I say and head over to brush my teeth in the bathroom.
“Hasn’t he been with you to the doctor or even checked in on you for all these weeks?” she says and follows me over to the door.
“No Emma! Nothing and it’s fine!” I say and start to brush my teeth while looking at her through the mirror, I see how worried she is but it’s fine. Placing my brush down I rinse my mouth and turn to look at her before heading over to where she stands, placing a hand on her shoulder I look at her.
“It’s fine Emma, it doesn’t matter any longer!” I say to her and take a step to the side, have to pick up the books I’m taking with me and fast check my mail before heading over to Michael.
“How can you say it’s fine! I thought you two were working it out and that’s why you didn’t have time for me but here I find out you have been all alone for all these weeks!” she says in a shaky voice and I know she is close to her tears.
Turning my head and look at her she has tears in her eyes
“It’s fine Emma I promise! Now I have some things to fix before I have to go to Michael’s can we talk another time?” I say and start to gather the books I’m returning to him today.
“I will fix you something to eat downstairs and get you a cup of tea before you go! Please come down before you leave!” she says and I place my books down on the bed before turning to look at her.
“Sure! I will be down in just a bit!” I say before reaching for my laptop. Hearing her walk out of the room I turn on my computer and go through my emails for a short moment, nothing important I need to handle right now, and quickly turn it off before I place it down and take my books in my hand when I start to walk out of the room.
I have only a short moment to grab something to eat and I can take a sandwich in my hand and a bottle of water on the go. Walking down the hallway and down the stairs I reach to the kitchen in just a moment, coming down the last turn I hear several voices talking inside when they all fall silent once I walk inside.
My eyes quickly scan the room and I see his father and Cannon standing at one side while Emma is by the stove and looks upset at Kian, he has his back against me and I’m quick to turn my eyes away when he is about to turn around.
“Good morning Selena! How are you today?” his father says in a nice voice when I make my way over to the fridge.
“Fine!” I say and open it and reach inside to grab myself a bottle of water and an apple when I feel him walk up behind me.
“Kian take the ingredients out for a sandwich!” Emma says and I understand she hasn’t done anything yet. It’s fine by me I can eat later and right now I prefer to leave this crowded kitchen. For three weeks I haven’t met a soul and today everyone is inside at the same time, where are the odds for that happening?
Feeling him get closer and reach up to pick something from the top shelf I feel his body being pressed against mine, I take my chance and duck under his arm and get out of that trapped situation I was in.
“I will have some breakfast for you in a minute! Got hold up!” Emma says and she doesn’t have to do anything for me I can fix it myself later.
“No… no need, I’m fine!” I say and hold my bottle of water with my apple and my books and open a portal right in the kitchen and get inside before she tries to convince me to stay. Closing the portal after me I head out on Michael’s lawn and take a bite of my apple.