Ch. 176..180: The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 176-180

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 176

Jane

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Ethan must not mean what I think – he must be suggesting some other solution and I simply don’t understand.

There’s no way he’ d offer to let me sleep with him, and while I’d like to say that I would never contemplate cuddling up to someone who’s been so cruel to me, the truth is that my wolf has no such pride. She wants me to climb right into Ethans strong arms and never leave again.

I’m saying that I’ll stay with you if you need me to at a distance, of course.” He supplies simply.

At a distance. i repeat in my head. Of course. It would be crazy to think he’d ever want to sleep beside me again, that he would willingly touch me. I should have learned my lesson earlier when I offered to become his slave again. What a proud moment that was. “That won’t do any good.”I finally reply, my tone rough and distant.

Why not?” Ethan inquires, clearly displeased with being refused. I clench my eyes shut, wishing I was big or strong enough to shake my former mate – his mood swings are every bit as wild and volatile as my own – and I’m pregnant! I don’t know how to cope with this strange new Ethan, it’s like the battle with Aimon unhinged him somehow. I don’t recognize the man in front of me, and the only flashes of the old Ethan I can find are when he’s with our pups.

“Because my nightmares are about you.’ I answer hoarsely, sharing a truth I fully intended to keep buried. “So you being there would only make them worse.

Ethan growls, and I fight the instinct to flinch.

Then I’ll give you a sleeping pill.” He grumbles.

Either way, you need to rest.”

Fine.” I mutter glumly. “Whatever you say, Ethan.

That’s what you meant by being civil, isn’t it? That I just follow your orders and obey your every whim?”

“That’s part of it.” He confirms, turning his mind to our earlier conversation. Parker was hurt before we finished discussing his proposal – that we pretend to get along in front of the pups. “Does that mean you’ll agree to my terms?”

I don’t think I have any choice.” I admit, not bothering to mask my misery. “I haven’t had a say in any of this, so why should I now?”

“Good.” Ethan nods, as if he didn’t hear the second part of my reply. “This is my last Christmas with the pups, I want to make sure they remember it fondly.”

I j3rk my head up. I know Ethan said he wouldn’t change his mind about rejecting us, but part of me thought he would make an exception for the pups every once in a while, like the holidays. “Please don’t say that.” I beg, Please don’t shut them out of your life for good.”

I’m not going to have this argument again.” Ethan declares, pulling me away from the pups door until we’re out of hearing range. “We can’t keep going around in circles like this – we have to move forward with our lives.”

You love them.” It sounds like an accusation, as if I’m indicting him for some terrible crime. Why is it so hard for him to admit? He’s never shied away from showing affection before and it’s especially galling after the lecture he gave the pups earlier. “I know you do! I can see it in your eyes every time you look at them. This doesn’t have to be their last Christmas with you… can’t you just keep an open mind? You don’t know how you’ll feel in a few years, it’s too soon to be burning bridges this way.

I know that the pups need you more than they need me. Ethan asserts, pulling me away from “And I won’t have you in my life, so that’s that.”

“Ethan, they need both of us.” I argue. That’s why we’re here, because I tried to go it alone and it didn’t work!”

“No, you saw Parker today. When he was hurt he wanted you, because at the end of the day, your bond with them is stronger than mine will ever be.” He surveys me closely. “When you’ re back on your feet you’ll see I’m right. “

This is ridiculous, I don’t know how he thinks I’II ever be able to get back on my feet without him.

Losing him is the reason I’ve fallen so low in the first place. “And just how are you planning on fixing me, Ethan?” I snipe, “forcing me to sleep and telling the pups I love them won’t undo the damage you’ve inflicted, especially if you’re planning on disappearing again.”

You just worry about taking care of yourself.

Ethan orders. I’ll handle the rest.”

And what about the pack? Are you going to deprive it of its future leader? Parker is your heir and Ryder will be a strong Alpha one day.” I reminds him.

They can’t learn how to run a pack from me.”

“Leading is aboūt instinct.” He says simply. “My father wasn’t exactly an ideal role model and I figured it out. They’ll be fine.

I’m not sure how it’s possible for anything to surprise me anymore. I’ve come to expect nothing but harshness and neglect from Ethan, but this is too much. For a man who is obsessed with duty and responsibility, Ethan is being incredibly iresponsible. It simply doesn’t compute. The more time I spend with him the more I think I must be missing something. His behavior is too erratic, too out of character and unpredictable. Yet I can’t think of any reason why he might be doing this – what motive could he possibly have to abandon us, other than simple malice?

“What are you planning?” I ask at last, “how do you intend on making things better – enough that the pups won’t run right back to you when I take them home again?”

Ethan frowns. I’m going to phase myself out. I was reckless to cut ties so immediately. This time well do it right, and that starts with giving them a happy holiday with their family. In the new year they l start school, they’ll get into a routine and eventually when I start calling less and less, they’ll stop expecting to hear from me. When they grow up they’ll realize you were the better parent for being there. You just have to get through it in the meantime.

He makes it sound so simple, as if it’s a matter of logic and strategy rather than emotion. “Children don’t forget that easily.” I inform him. And I still don’t understand why you’re so determined to reject them too.”

“It’s not for you to understand.” He replies. Just accept it, move on and find someone new – someone who can be a better role model to them than I am.”

A bitter laugh spills from my tongue. Well there’s no denying that they need a stronger father figure.”

I snipe honestly. “I don’t want the boys to turn out like you, but you’re crazy if you think I could trust another alpha enough to get involved with him.

You’ve done a very thorough job ensuring that will never happen.”

“Now who’s got a closed mind?” Ethan counters.

You don’t know what the future holds, and you’re still young. You might have a fated mate out there yourself”

His words are positively jarring. I can’t fathom Ethan supporting the idea of me being with another man, even if he doesn’t want me himself. He’s always been so possessive, fiercely protective, and now he’s not only suggesting I find a new lover, but that another man might stand in for him with our pups.

Red flags whirl through my mind, warnings and instincts insisting that something is wrong here.

You want me to find my fated mate?” I repeat, trying to probe deeper, to see if I can get a reaction out of Ethan or provoke him into revealing his motives.

“As you said, I love the pups.” Ethan proclaims icily,

I want them to have a good life, and if you can’t provide them one without the help of a man, then yes – I’d support you finding a new mate.”

Well that might be difficult.” I muse aloud. “Not many wolves are eager to take on she-wolves with pups from another man – let alone five of them.”

Ethan blinks, my words clearly not making sense to him. I hadn’t been planning on telling Ethan about the pregnancy – I haven’t even told the pups yet.

Still, if I want to push him off balance enough to make him show his hand, I can’t think of a better way. Besides, I can’t keep the secret much longer.

My scent is going to change soon, and then everyone will know the truth. Besides, at this point it seems like nothing could convince him to be involved in our children’s life, so telling him about the new baby won’t risk anything. His brow furrows in confusion, five?

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 177

Ethan

Yes.” Jane confirms, looking me in the eye for the first time. I’m pregnant, Ethan.”

The room is spinning. Everything has turned upside down and inside out, and I can’t make sense of any of it. This isn’t real. It can’t be real. Jane can’t be pregnant.

History is repeating itself right before my eyes, only this time my mate hasn’t hidden her condition from me out of fear, she’s done it because I didn’t give her any other choice. The first time was a misunderstanding, but that’s not the case now. It isn’t possible. I think again. I would have known – there would be signs, symptoms. Even as I ponder this possibility, I realize there have been signs and symptoms. She never went back into heat again after the first time, she was so sick in the Southern Isles even after we disembarked from the ship, and her emotions have been so raw since she returned.

What?” I say inanely, not able to wrap my mind around this. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m pregnant.” Jane repeats, tears shining in her eyes. “I wasn’t going to tell you after you rejected us, but I can’t hide it any longer.”

“How long have you known?” I ask, my voice like gravel. I have no right, but I can’t help feeling disgruntled that she kept this secret. Another baby.

Another child I’ll be endangering if I let her stay. But another baby. I missed her first pregnancy – I never got to watch her body grow and change with the pups, I didn’t get to help her bring them into the world, to see the miracle with my own eyes. This could be my second chance, the opportunity to do it right this time around.

I suspected when we were still on the ship,” She confesses, “and I was fairly convinced by the time we tracked the pups down. I just couldn’t think about anything but getting them back.

“You kept it from me all that time?” I hiss, outraged that she was coping with this on top of everything else that happened on our trip.

“You had enough to worry about.” She shrugs, tears spilling over her lashes. And I didn’t think you’d let me help if you knew. You already didn’t want me there. Then the doctors in the hospital confirmed it…

I was coming to tell you when.. when you sent me away.”

All at once, my cruelty towards my mate takes on new meaning. I devastated Jane at the moment she should have been happiest, I placed the burden of raising another fatherless child on her shoulders.

You’re d*mn right I wouldn’t have let you help.”I say, before I can stop myself. You had no business putting yourself at that kind of risk when you’re breeding. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking my children were in danger and I had to do anything possible to rescue them.” She snarls back, finally showing some of her old fire.

“And what about the child in your belly?” I demand, “you didn’t think anything of putting it in danger?”

“I didn’t even know if it was real!” Jane counters.

Why else do you think I waited so long to find out?I couldn’t do what was necessary to save the pups if I was walking on eggshells for an unborn child. “

You should have told me!” I growl, pacing ferociously. “You should have come to me the first moment you suspected you were breeding!

Why?” Jane exclaims, her face twisted in a pained expression. “Do you even care that I’m going to have a baby, or just thatI kept the secret and undermined you again?”

I care about you, I care about the baby. I want to shout. Instead, I scoff. “And you wonder why I don’t trust you… Do the pups know?”

“Of course not, Jane is saying, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. “I was going to wait until I was clear of the first trimester. I thought it would be hard enough explaining where babies come from.. I didn’t want to risk having to explain miscarriages too if something went wrong.”

This is torture. I can’t stand hearing her speak this way, seeing her so timid and fragile. This morning I didn’t think I could possibly feel worse than when Jane offered to sacrifice her freedom to me, but it seems I hadn’t yet learned the true depth of my despair. What kind of Alpha does this to his mate? I shouldn’t be allowed to be anywhere near her or the pups. If Jane is pregnant then she’s even more vulnerable than I knew. She won’t be in any condition to protect herself or the pups from me, and there’s no denying a day will come when this is necessary.

But we still have a chance to get better. You decided not to give up – and this is exactly why we can’t. My wolf insists. She shouldn’t have to do it all alone – not again! It isn’t right.

I’m not giving up. I answer furiously. But we can’t keep hurting Jane like this. we’re no good for her, and one day we might be able to be near her again without being a threat, but we’re never going to deserve her.

of course we do, when we’re well there’s no stronger Alpha. My wolf counters.

Strength isn’t enough. I realize, far too late. All this time I’ve thought being the toughest wolf automatically made me worthy of my mate, but now I see that safety isn’ t worth anything if she’s perpetually heartbroken, Just look at what my protection has done to her. Though you’re right – she shouldn’t have to do it alone. She shouldn’t have had to the first time, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it happen again.

If anything this news has made me realize just how right my Beta was – though for very different reasons. I have to do whatever I can to get better, but not so that I can bring my family home. My initial instincts were right, as much as I abhor the idea, I have to find Jane a new mate, someone she’ll be safe and happy with and who can be the father my pups deserve. if I can find a cure then I can watch over my family from afar; I can give them a better life than they would have had if they stayed with me, and I can keep them safe in the meantime.

It’s always been my job to love and protect Jane, and though she may not understand it, I’m doing the same now. The difference is that I’m protecting her from me now, and this love feels deeper and more true than before. In the past I never would have considered parting from her, but I can’t be selfish anymore. I have to let her go.

The plan is already forming in my mind, but for now I have to make sure Jane gives up on me once and for all – only then can she start over. Only then can she begin a new life.

“Five pups isn’t so much more daunting than four.”

I announce, returning to our earlier conversation with forced pragmatism. Eric was in love with you and willing to take on the pups, I’m sure we can find another man to do the same now.”

That’s it?” Jane gapes. “That’s all you have to say to me? Nevermind that I’m pregnant with your child, you still want to pawn me off onto another man?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. I mutter. “You can’t really have expected this to change anything.”

Jane shakes her head, swiping at her cheeks. “You know I can’t tell ifI’ve lost my mind, or if you’ve lost yours.” She announces, her voice like gravel. “I keep thinking it’s you, but then people always say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. I suppose it’s my own fault for not learning my lesson the first time. You keep hurting me and I keep expecting you to go back to acting sweet, despite the evidence in front of me.”

I hope that means you’re going to stop trying to change my mind.” I reply. “I might not want you for a mate, but you’re better than this, Jane.

She shakes her head. “You know, you’re right.” She agrees. “I don’t know why I’ve always given you so much power over me, why I’ve let my wolf convince me to give you second, third and fourth chances. My weakness is my own fault, but I’m not going to subject my pups to your mistreatment, I’m not going to make them pay for my mistakes any longer.”

“Good.”I commend her, pleased to see she’s finally reached her limit. Maybe offering to be my slave again was rock bottom, but apparently my disregard for our new baby was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You’re almost sounding like yourself again.”

She notches her chin up, Let’s just get through the holidays, and then we can go our separate ways.”

“Agreed.”

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 178

Ethan

That night I lay awake in bed, replaying my conversation with Jane over and over in my head.

For the first time since I got my diagnosis, I feel like I have a purpose again. It’s taken me a while to reach this place, but Jane’s return made it only too clear that giving up and pushing my family away wasn’t working for anyone. What’s more, being paralyzed has finally given me the perspective to understand that there’s more than one kind of strength, and just because I can’t protect them with my wolf, it doesn’t mean I can’t care for them in other ways. Above all else, I’m realizing that my possessiveness and determination to make Jane mine again was never about her welfare, but satisfying my own ego and selfishness.

The wheels in my mind are turning swiftly now, overflowing with ideas for how to put my plan in motion. When I started making my list of goals, I intended to help Jane and impart lessons on my children in the brief time we have left together, but now I see that it doesnt have to stop there. Already my wolf feels calmer, less on edge and erratic. I’ve been flailing and drowning for more than a month now, holding onto everything I felt I was losing and letting the pain rip me apart. But it’s amazing how soothing it can be to simply let go.

I’m still lying there, staring at the ceiling fan when my door cracks open, and tiny footsteps cross my floor. Paisley’s sweet scent wafts over me, and the next thing I know her precious voice is whispering beside me. “Daddy, are you awake?”

I might be.” I tease, cracking one eye open. “But you shouldn’t be, it’s way past your bedtime.”

“Can I sleep with you?” She asks anxiously, almost as though she’s worried I’ll refuse her.

of course, angel.” I agree, lifting the covers for her to crawl onto the mattress next to me.

I’ ve missed you so much, Daddy.” She murmurs, snuggling her head against my chest. I don’t like the Dark Moon pack.”

“But aren’t you happy being with Mommy and your brothers and sister?” I press, guilt assailing me once more.

Paisley is quiet for a long moment. I loves them.”

She finally answers. “But I loves you too, and you’re all alones now. I don’ like it. Mommy has Ryder, and Parker and Riley… but without me you don’ have anyone.”

That was the point. I think wryly. If I’m alone I can’t hurt anyone.

It’s very sweet of you to worry about me, Princess.”

I tell her gently, running my hand through her soft hair. “But it’s a Daddy’s job to worry about his pups, not the other way around. As long as you’re happy, I’ll be fine.”

“Daddy of course it’s my job to worry ’bout you.”

Paisley objects, lifting her head and shooting me a stern look. “We’ve always been together and you needs me. You always says you don’ know what you’d do without me.

Woops. Trust a pup to remember your words at the most inconvenient times. Paisley, I love you, and that means I want what’s best for you, even if it’s hard for me.” Her green eyes are glowing up at me in the darkness, and I can’t help but wonder if our new baby will be as perfect as our first four. Will they still take after me, will they luck out and get even more of their mother’s genes? ‘Now I won’t lie and tell you that it hasn’t been hard for me to be away from you, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

But I’m not asking you to make a sacrfice.” Paisley argues. “No one asked me where I wanted to lives.

No one asked me if I wanted to go with Mommy.

“But sweetheart you’ve been dreaming of having a Mommy your whole life.” I remind her. It’s all you ever wanted, and I’ve always felt guilty that you had to grow up without one.”

I know.” Paisley frowns. But I always thoughts that if I got a Mommy we’d all be together. No one ever told me that I’d haves to leave you.

I’m sorry,” I sigh, hating to see my little girl so sad.

“But you’re going to need your Mommy more than me the older you get. I could teach you how to be a pup, but she can teach you about being a woman. It’s right for you to be with her.

“Daddy I’m not going to be a woman for ages and ages!” Paisley objects, sounding thoroughly affronted by this idea.

It’s going to happen faster than you think,’munchkin.” I chuckle, tapping the end of her nose with my finger.

Why do you keep saying these things?” Paisley questions, sitting up and brushing my hand away from her face. “You promised you’d never leaves me,but after you rescued us you didn’ even try to stay with us! And now it’s like… I dunno, like you aren’t you anymores!”

But I didn’t leave you, Paisley.” I inform her gently.

You went with your Mommy, and I let you go because I want what’s best for you.”

“But you’re what’s best for me!” Paisley cries.

Daddy why are you doing this?

Even as she says it, she pushes at my side, and her small hands collide with the braces wrapped around my body. I’ve been sleeping in them out of fear that I’ll have to get up from bed in front of Jane or the kids, Paisley’s young face scrunches up in confusion, and she pokes at the hard metal. “Daddy what’s that?”

It’s nothing, little one. I’m sorry this is all so hard, but everything always seems better after a good night’s sleep. Just try to rest.” I instruct, my heart racing as I try not to panic. She can’t find out. If Paisley finds out it will only be a matter of time before the others do too, and then they’ll never leave me. Jane will be stuck with me out of hopeless love or misplaced duty, and they’ll all be the worse for it.

I don’t even know if I can be cured yet. I’m determined to fight, but I won’t be safe to be around until that happens.

Unfortunately Paisley isn’t buying it. She’s poking around the braces, feeling down my h!p and over my legs. “Daddy, what are these things on you?”

“They’re nothing important.” I insist. Just something the doctor prescribed after my surgery.”

“But the surgery was on your back. She protests, sounding increasingly suspicious. “These things are on your legs.” The more she pokes and prods, the more I can see her sharp mind putting the pieces together. You’ve been walking funny..” She muses, gnawing on her lower l*p in precisely the same way Jane does when she’s thinking. “

And you wouldn’ skate with me…

“Paisley, don’t worry about it.” I try to command, but I can see it’s too late.

“Daddy… are your legs broken?” Paisley asks, looking up at me with wide eyes.

Damnit. You really are too smart for your own good, you know that?” I gripe.

“Tha’s not an answer.” Paisley pouts.

My legs aren’t working right now.” I confess.

Which means my wolf can’t get out either. Do you understand what that means?

She shakes her head, her lower lips trembling. “Does it hurt?”

“I can’t feel anything.” I assure her, speaking only half the truth. I might not be able to feel my legs, but I can certainly feel my wolf’s agony.

How long ’till you’re better?” She asks, her eyes shining.

Sweetheart, I’m going to tell you a secret.” I decide, sensing this is a disaster in the making but not seeing another solution. “But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not your brothers and sister, and especially not Mommy.”

She nods hesitantly, and I smooth the hair back from her brow. I sent you and the others away with Mommy because I’m hurt, and I might not get better. I can’t protect you anymore, and if I can’t find a cure… well, it won’t be good. My wolf will take over more and more, and since I can’t let him out, I’ll get angrier and angrier and start lashing out at the people around me.” I sigh. “That’s why you had to leave, but your Mommy doesn’t know, she thinks I’m just being mean.”

Why don’t you tell her?” Paisley asks, tears hovering on her lashes.

Because if she finds out she won’t leave. I reply, feeling both dread and relief to finally be sharing the secret. “It would put you all in danger… and I don’t want her to waste her life on me.”

“Shouldn’ Mommy get to choose that?” Paisley asks meekly. “Shouldn’t we?”

The Alpha protects the pack.” I remind her. “That means making the choices that are too hard for anyone else to make.”

Daddy,” Paisley whimpers, clutching at my arm now. “Are you dying?

I shake my head, hugging her close. “I’m going to do everything in my power to survive, Paisley. I’m not going to go without a fight – you have my word on that.

And finally, at long last- I truly mean it.

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 179

Well Doctor, what are my chances?” I ask, bracing myself for more bad news.

It’s Christmas Eve, and I barely managed to slip away from the penthouse for this appointment. Still, after Paisley discovered the truth of my condition, I knew it couldn’t wait. I’m determined to fight for my family, but I have to stay grounded. I have to prepare for the most likely outcome, and that means remaining cautious with my plans. I can’t be confident I’ll survive, but I can certainly put my plans into motion whether I succeed or not.

I’ve already created a trust for our children, complete with college funds and living expenses to ensure that the burden of caring for the pups financially won’t be on Jane’s shoulders. I’ve also created a considerable allowance for Jane herself. I know she’s passionate about her work, but I want to make sure she has the freedom to enjoy her career, rather than feeling obligated to retain her business for the sake of economic security.

My other efforts are less straightforward, and will take more than a little deception. I’m relying on Linda and Eric to help, as well as Matthew and Paisley. Of course Paisley is one of the main reasons I’m doing all this and I fully intend her to benefit as much as her siblings, but now that she knows she can also help me. It’s amazing the difference a day can make.

My daughter learning my secret had an impact on me I could not have foreseen. She reminded me of why I can’t give up, and she made me feel as though I’m not alone in this for the first time since I first got the news. I’m ashamed of the way I’ve behaved until now, and I can only pray that it’s not to late to turn things around for my family – if not for myself.

Well, your condition isn’t as hopeless as it seemed a month ago.” The surgeon frowns, pulling my attention back to the present. “But I have to tell you, Alpha, I’m still not seeing the kind of results which would warrant reevaluating your prognosis. In all likelihood you still only have a year left.”

“But it’s better?” I press. “If only a little?”

Yes.” He confirms, sighing gravely. “But I have to caution you not to get your hopes up. We see these small improvements sometimes, but the extent of the larger damage is so great that minor changes don’t really hold any weight.”

“Is there anything I can do to try and improve my condition?” I ask, committing myself to try any home remedy, exercise, experimental procedure or medications he can offer.

“Actually the braces are probably helping more than anything else.” The physician concedes, “they’re keeping your limbs moving and muscles engaged.”

“Wouid it help if I did even more physical activity?”

I suggest.

Perhaps, I can also refer you to a specialist in the Shadow Pack. I know of a practice working on cutting edge robotics procedures for spinal cord injuries.” He shares.

Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I demand, feeling suddenly indignant.

Because I don’t believe in selling my patients miracles.” He replies stiffly. “And that’s what we’re talking about here. It would take a miracle to cure you.”

I’ve seen miracles happen.” I announce coolly, thinking of Paisley’s repeated surgeries, and Jane’s return from the dead. Maybe if more people believed in them we wouldn’t be so quick to give up on things.”

The doctor grimaces. “You’re not the first patient I’ve seen through this process, Alpha. And you’re not the first who’s found a second wind when their decline happens over a long period of time. It’s easy to feel like you might cheat fate when you can’t feel the changes immediately. It’s not that I don’t feel for you, I just want to be up front about setting expectations.”

Trust me, I’ve felt the changes. I’ve been struggling with my decline every day. How many of your past patients have been Alphas?” I inquire.

None of your caliber:” He admits.

Then believe me when I say my wolf’s strength is a burden, not a gift not when it comes to being trapped.” I relate. “And I’d also ask you to consider how my powers might help me succeed where others have not. I might not deserve a miracle, but if anyone can conjure one out of thin air, it’s me. I don’t have another choice.”

When I get home, I’m elated to find the pups waiting for me at the door, bearing identical and thoroughly mischievous grins. Hello my little monsters.”I greet them happily, scooping them up into a five- way hug. What have you been up to today, hmm?

Daddy are you even using your eyes?” Riley quips in reply, gesturing behind us to the apartment.

Following the direction of her hand, I gaze around the familiar space, realizing that they were very busy indeed. The entire Penthouse has been decorated for Christmas, including a tall evergreen tree, stockings over the fireplace, garlands and string lights covering every available surface, and handmade strings of popcorn and cranberries. The air even smells like the holidays, full of cinnamon and nutmeg, freshly baked ginger cookies and mulled wine.

“Oh my Goddess!” I exclaim, feigning shock. “Elves must have broken into the apartment and decorated everything!”

“Daddy it wasn’t elves, it was us!” Parker replies indignantly.

“No!” I gasp, “but it’s so beautiful!” I move further into the apartment, looking for Jane. “Did the elves at least help you? Give you the supplies?

There were no elves!” Ryder giggles, “Mommy bought the s’plies and helped us.”

“Do you like it?” Paisley adds, looking up at me hopefuly.

I love it.” I answer, kissing their sweet faces in turn. This place was pretty bland before you got here. You all saved me, I wasn’t ready to welcome Santa at all.” Of course, this isn’t the only way they saved me, though they don’t know it.

Well now you’re ready.” Riley nods, clearly pleased with herself – and rightly so. “It was Paisley’ s idea.”

I believe it.” I smile, “She’s always loved Christmas more than anything.

I can’ believe we almost didn’ spend it with you, Daddy.” Paisley murmurs softly, her little face scrunched up in displeasure. I don’t like seeing the stress on her precious features, she’s already wise beyond her years after going through her own medical struggles, I feel terribly guilty sharing this burden with her too.

I know, what was Mommy thinking.” Parker adds glumly.

Hey, give your Mommy a break.” I instruct gently.

None of this has been easy for her, and she only wants what’s best for you.

But Daddy she didn’ listen to us,” Ryder complains.

We tried and tried to tells her.”

She listened little one. There’s a difference in not listening, and not agreeing.” I advise. I know you’ve been upset this last month, but I promise you it wasn’t Mommy’s fault.”

When I look up, I’m surprised to find Jane leaning in the kitchen doorway, a strange expression on her face. She looks very pale, and her beautiful features are twisted in discomfort and something keenly akin to grief. “Are you alright, Jane?” I ask, before I can stop myself. My instincts are to care for her, even when my brain knows I need to push her away.

I’m fine.” She murmurs hoarsely, and I realize she’s recently been sick. Putting the pups down, I cross the floor until I’m standing in front of her.

“Morning sickness?” I whisper, too softly for the pups to hear.

Her glimmering green eyes rise to meet my probing gaze, and her features harden to an emotionless mask, “I said I’m fine.” She repeats coolly.

My wolf is positively howling. It goes against every instinct I possess to let my pregnant mate fend for herself. I want to tuck her into bed and bring her cold compresses, give her foot massages and run all over town to find foods to satisfy her cravings. I want to drop to my knees and press my ear to her flat belly, just to see if I can detect signs of our growing child.

Maybe you should go lie down.” I suggest. “I can feed the pups dinner.

“It’s Christmas Eve, I want to spend it with them.”

Jane objects, looking suddenly teary-eyed. “If they’ll talk to me.

I’m cursing in my head, wishing there was some way I could care for her while still keeping her at arms lengths. Before we can say any more however, the pups call to us from the loving room. “Mommy, Daddy, come ‘ere!”

We both stride over to the spot where our kids are gathered, and I’m painfully aware of how close Jane is standing to me. (What is it, love muffins?” She asks.

Four toothy smiles greet us, and then four little fingers point to the ceiling above our heads. Look!”

Jane and I do as we’re instructed, and with a roiling stomach and leaping heart, I realize what the children have been up to while Jane and I were talking in the kitchen.

“Now you have to k**s!” Riley announces gleefully. And sure enough, hanging smack dab in the middle of us, is a gleaming sprig of mistletoe.

 

The Luna And Her Quadruplet Pups Chapter 180

3rd Person

Jane could recall very few times when she’d been genuinely angry with her pups. Overwhelmed, frustrated, and annoyed? At her wit’s end, even?

What parent hasn’t felt those things? But true anger? She could count on one hand the times her children had driven her to that point. After all, they were too young to have crossed many lines beyond temper tantrums and whining.

However when Jane realized her clever angels had lured her and Ethan into a trap, and they were now standing beneath a sprig of mistletoe, she felt her temper fraying rapidly. They couldn’t have any idea about the larger implications of their scheme, and probably thought the entire situation was delightful.

still, Jane knew only too well how quickly things might turn ugly with Ethan, and she was furious with the pups for putting them in this position.

She tried to take a deep breath, not wanting to lash out at her babies, but nearly beside herself with fear and frustration. Don’t they realize how dangerous this is? She fretted, already knowing the answer was no. What if Ethan turned on them? What if he was cruel to her in front of them, or took it into his head to punish them? It all depended on Ethan, on whether he had enough of a heart left to quietly refuse or if he decided to make a scene. So Jane stood there paralyzed, looking at her former mate with abject dread and praying he would show her mercy.

Just walk away. She thought desperately, willing her feet to move. Just laugh it off and walk away.

Jane started to turn around, but the next thing she knew Ethan had lashed out and grabbed her wa!st with both hands. He tugged Jane towards him, and her lips parted in a surprised gasp. They were still open when his mouth descended on hers, stealing the breath she’d just inhaled. For all her intentions to flee, now Jane’s limbs froze completely, going impossibly still as if her body was waiting to react until it could decipher whether or not it was being attacked or embraced.

Her mind went completely blank, all her panicked thoughts replaced by a thick and numbing fog.

Somewhere deep down she was aware of the demanding press of Ethan’s soft lips, of his delicious scent filling her senses, his hands moving in slow circles on her back, and the kids cheering in the background. Still, it might as well be happening to someone else. It was as if Jane had left her body and was looking down on them from above.

Is this really happening? She wondered frantically, studying the couple below her. I’ve been dreaming about k!ssing Ethan again for more than a month now. Have my fantasies come true, or is this just my imagination run wild?

Ethan growled into Jane’s mouth, and suddenly she was jolted back into my body. At once she reacted, her arms twining around his neck as she returned the k!ss, letting her instincts take control. She tilted my head to the side, allowing him to slant his mouth over hers and deepen the k!ss. Ethan’s tongue dipped into Jane’s mouth, tasting and teasing her the way he has a thousand times before. Her wolf wanted to rejoice, but she was becoming increasingly aware that something was missing.

The sensation of being in Ethan’s arms was so familiar, and yet Jane still felt empty. She didn’t understand why. Maybe because she knew it wasn’t real, or that’she’d become too broken down and hollowed out by his mistreatment to feel anything anymore. When Ethan first k!ssed her after they were reunited the previous summer, being with him felt like coming home at a long journey’s end; his touch was electrifying and all consuming. Now something felt wrong, but the more time that passed, the less Jane felt it was because of her fragile mental state Ethan felt wrong. He wasn’t holding her the way he used to, he wasn’t k!ssing her as if he meant it. It was almost as though he was trying to hold her at arm’s length, even as he claimed her mouth.

He’s over me. Jane realized at last. When he k!ssed me before he still loved me, even if he was angry at me. But now the love has faded and only anger remains.

Jane didn’t know why she was surprised. She supposed her wolf might have believed that if they could only get close enough to k!ss him, the physical spark they had always shared would convincè him not to end things, but that had obviously been a false hope. And here I thought I’d given up on him.

Only when the pain of realizing Ethan was over her struck, did Jane admit how much hope she’d still been holding onto, and how badly she wished things could go back to the way they used to be. Ethan hadn’t been the only one letting his anger control him, but Jane’s had been hiding a much deeper, and much more painful truth. She was still in love with Ethan, and she was beginning to fear she would never stop.

Ethan reluctantly releasèd Jane, wishing he didn’t have to so badly it hurt.

When he looked down at her, he saw tears hovering on her lashes, and she shakily glanced at the children – who had lost interest in the extended embrace a few moments before and were now celebrating their victory by hunting for marshmallows to roast in the fireplace. I knows they’re here!” Riley was saying, her little nose twitching with excitement. I can smell them!”

“Shh, they’ll hear you.” Parker cautioned, glancing at his parents.

You know Mommy doesn’t let us have sweets afore dinner.” Ryder agreed, caution heavy in his voice.

“But it’s Christmas.'” Paisley objected, thunderstruck that exceptions wouldn’t be made on such a special day.

“You can have marshmallows for dessert.” Jane called, swiping at a few stray dears which escaped onto her cheeks. After you’ve had a nice, healthy meal.”

The four children g*****d, chiding one another for being too loud and giving up the game. “See! I told you to whisper!” Parker griped.

Thank you for not making a scene.” Jane whispered to Ethan. “I’ll talk to them about not doing this sort of thing again.”

Ethan’s wolf wanted nothing of the sort. If anything he wanted to encourage the children to give him as many excuses to k!ss Jane as possible, but he knew it was a bad idea. He’d been dreaming about sharing a last k!ss with Jane for so long it was hard to believe he finally got the opportunity to have one. How many times had he thought, if I could just k!ss her one more time, hold her one more time.

It was one of his many regrets about the way he’d handled things in the hospital. He’d tried to recall their last k!ss before the rescue, and though he’d been glad the dangerous situation had made every k!ss more meaningful, he wished he’d known it would be the last one. Unfortunately the reality of finally having a last k!ss now that everything had changed was more painful than he’d imagined.

Now that Ethan knew it was the last one, he’d wanted to dive into it with complete enthusiasm. He hadn’t considered the way he would have to keep space between them so Jane wouldn’t feel his braces.

He couldn’t hold her the way he wanted to, couldn’t feel all her soft curves pressed up against him.

Moreover, he hadn’t predicted how reserved he would have to be to make sure she wouldn’t feel his undying passion for her. K!ssing someone while pretending you weren’t madly in love with them was a tricky business, and he knew it wouldn’t get any easier with time – because he wasn’t going to start loving her any less.

He wasn’t sure he could do it again. “See that you do. ” He answered coolly, turning away and heading for his bedroom. He needed some time alone, and he desperately wanted to cry. He hadn’t allowed himself to cry over any of this yet, but having his family back was seriously testing the limits of his willpower. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. He scolded fiercely. You’re not the one who’s been hurt worst by all this. You don’t get to pity yourself when you caused your family so much pain.

Ethan shut himself into his room, wondering how on earth he was going to get through the next few days.

It was true that his wolf had been much calmer and easier going since his family returned, but his emotions were another matter entirely.

A small knock sounded on the door, and at first he thought it might be Jane. Instead Paisley poked her beloved head inside, then toddled in without waiting for permission. “Hello princess.” He greeted her, come give Daddy a cuddle, won’t you?”

Paisley didn’t need any encouragement, she swiftly crossed the room and let Ethan scoop her up, wrapping her arrms around him as tightly as she could and burying her face in his neck. “I don’ like seeing you sad, Daddy.” She murmured, nuzzling his skin.

I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Ethan replied honestly. He hated to think his grim mood was causing the sweet pup stress.

“I thinks you need us.” She continued, “you need someone to help you and give you cuddles when you’re sad.”

Oh Goddess how he would love that. “No angel, I love you more than anything, but that’s not a burden for you to bear. You’ve had to be so grown up all these years, it’s high time you get to enjoy just being a pup.

Paisley pulled back, pulling her young face into the sternest expression she could manage. I wasn’ asking, Daddy. I’m telling you. When Mommy and the other pups go home, I’m staying.”