Ch. 116..120: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 116-120

Chapter 116: Complete your bond

Darrien.

Holy shit.

What do I do?

He is not breathing anymore.

I watch him get paler and I don’t know what to do. I need to call Eligio back. I need his help. If Jabi dies, I will never forgive myself. I am a fucking healer and I don’t know what to do. How do I heal him when I don’t even know what is wrong with him.

Shit.

I carry him off the cold floor and take him into the living room. Carefully, I place him on the couch.

’’Think Darrien,’’ I talk to myself. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to bring him back. ’’Shit,’’ I stand up and start to pace around the living room. I grab the landline from the table and redial El. He answers at once ’’Something is wrong El, he is not alive.’’ I cry into the phone.

’’Jabi?’’

’’Yes.’’

’’What happened. You need to bring him back,’’ he shouts into the phone. This is all my fault. I am the one that took him out of the caves thinking it was for the best and now this happened. If I didn’t push him, he wouldn’t be in this situation.

’’What have I done? How do I fix this?’’ I pace around curling the wire of the phone around me in the process.

’’Bring him back now. Stop all this panic. Get your fucking head together and bring that kid back home,’’ he ends the call and I fall to my knees from the pain of all that is happening. I can feel him slipping away from me. His heart is not beating. I killed Jabi. I killed the love of my life and there is nothing I can do.

’’Fuck,’’ I cry as I lift him off the couch slowly. Looking at him now, he is unrecognizable. Jabi always had colour on his face, his cheeks red, his eyes chocolate brown. Those eyes that I love so much. Will I ever get to see them again?

I don’t know why I am so defeated.

I want to be optimistic, but I blame myself. This is all my fault. I am a selfish motherfucker. I did this to him. hasn’t the kid suffered enough?

I leave the house without even thinking about my shoes. I run at the speed of light under the bright sun with no care in the world. I could be spotted, found out but my only priority is getting him back home. I don’t know what will change. There is no one in that pack that can do anything to help him. I am supposed to be the healer but how can I heal someone that is already dead.

I get to the gates of the community. I see Eligio immediately.

’’Help me, brother,’’ I call out to him breathing heavily. My chest is heavy, my heart is racing from all the fear within me.

’’I’ve told Alby and Jules. They are in the infirmary waiting for you.’’ He tells me.

I walk into the community and he follows behind me. My eyes shift back to my link. The one person I love with all my heart. He is still not breathing. There is no life in him—all thanks to me.

’’This is not your fault,’’ El speaks up almost like he read my mind.

He is just trying to comfort me, deep down I know this is my fault. I must have done something wrong. I ruined things between us because of my stubbornness. Jabi trusted me and now he is dead. I keep saying he is dead, what else can I think when he is not even breathing anymore.

’’Thanks for the support but this is my fault. I did this to him, I killed him.’’

I look at him again in my arms. No rise and fall of his chest, the paleness of his skin. His eyes closed. I can’t even feel his blood running through his veins. There is no sign of life in him. The only colour on his body are the two marks of my teeth. They are still red and a little swollen. The reminder that I did this to him.

We get to the infirmary and Jules is the first person I see. He is the only one that I even think can help us right now. They lead me into one of the rooms and I place him on the bed. Jules is not alone. The man that came with him is beside him, almost like a shadow.

’’Is he dead?’’ I ask immediately I am a few feet away from him.

’’He is not dead,’’ the other boy speaks up at once. Almost like he is so sure of himself ’’But he should be,’’ he adds.

I don’t know what the hell he is talking about ’’How do we help him?’’ I ask running my hands through my hair.

This is too much for me. I have always been able to bring even the people closest to death back to life and now I can’t even do anything to help him. the fact that I can’t even feel his pulse or heartbeat is frustrating to me.

’’Calm down Darrien, he will be fine,’’ Jules promises like that is supposed to make me feel better. How can I calm down when I don’t even know what to do? I don’t know how I am supposed to help him.

They whisper to each other, so low that my heightened senses can’t even hear them. They are doing this intentionally, keeping all the information to themselves. The door to the room opens and the old guy—I guess he is Alby walks into the room. There is a smile on his face, I don’t know why he is smiling. There is nothing about this situation that should warrant a smile from this man.

’’Has he gone through the whole process? I see bite marks on his neck. Did you feed him yours?’’ he says as he touches Jabi, his fingers brush against my bite.

I know what he is talking about, did I give him my blood last night? No, I didn’t. It didn’t feel like I should. was I supposed to?

’’No.’’

He frowns ’’When Wolves mate, the alpha has to mark his mate. In your situation, since it is same-sex, you have to mark each other. He didn’t mark you last night?’’

I shake my head ’’No.’’

He furrows his brows almost like he is thinking of what to say next. everyone said this thing between us is instinctual. That we would know what to do. they should’ve explained things clearly.

’’Is this because I took him out of the cave?’’

I have to ask. I keep blaming myself for this and maybe it is really my fault. I led him astray as far as I am concerned.

’’No, you did what your spirit intended. There was no way you would have carried out the mating ritual in those caves. The moon is everywhere, our goddess was watching over you, even though you weren’t in the caves.’’

I nod, at least that is a little assurance. Some semblance of doubt has been washed away.

’’What can I do to fix this?’’

’’What did you do when you bonded with your link,’’ this time he directs his question to Eligio, who has been quiet this whole time in the room.

’’I took her blood and gave her mine,’’ he shrugs.

With everything they are saying, I know I messed something up last night. So at the end of it all, it is still my fault. I can never do anything good enough. I couldn’t even mate with Jabi properly.

’’Jabi is weaker than most omegas. His wolf should’ve taken charge. His wolf should’ve initiated it. this is not your fault,’’ Alby tries to ease the burden in my mind. at this moment, this old man is my favourite person. He has this way of making me feel better, not by much but a little better.

’’What do I do now, how can I fix this?’’

They all look at each other like it is the most obvious answer. ’’Give him your blood,’’ he breathes out.

’’What will happen when I do?’’

I need to know what I am up against. I don’t want to hurt him any further. What will giving him my blood do?

’’The bond will be complete,’’ they all answer at the same time.

I thought our bond was complete last night. It felt like it was, I felt one with him and now they are all letting me know that I messed things up as usual. I hate myself right now. I hate that I caused him so much pain when it all could’ve been avoided. I need to fix this, and then spend the rest of my life making it up to him.

If anything, ever happens to Jabi, I will never forgive myself.

I no longer wish to live in a world where he doesn’t exist.

’’Okay.’’

Chapter 117: Willed sense

Beau.

He is panicking.

I can see it in his eyes.

It was just a question but now he is thinking the worst. Uncle Jules just asked him a question to see if things have changed. It has just been a couple of hours since he last ate. I mean, he had my blood last night. There is no cause for alarm. He is probably now hungry.

’’You should drink blood. Where do you keep your stash?’’ he directs his question to my mate.

Alanis blinks and then his eyes dart around. It is just a simple question but he seems unable to comprehend at the moment. ’’He has some in the fridge of my house,’’ I answer for him.

Jules nods ’’Good, Blue help us get some blood for him from the fridge,’’ he tells his son.

I never even knew Jules had a son. I am sure there is a story to it. the fact that even Jules as a lone wolf has a son.

I don’t think there is actually anything wrong with Lanis. he is overthinking like he usually does.

Everything is fine.

I send him a mind link. He looks at me, with worry-filled eyes. I muster up the most assuring smile I can. I am not worried. Last night was not a mistake. It felt too real. Somehow I have seen the future. We have kids, we are happy. I don’t have anything to worry about. There is no doubt in my mind that all this is meant to be.

Blue comes back to the field with a flask. I know what it entails. The meal that Lanis needs to survive.

’’Drink it,’’ Jules orders Lanis. he grabs the flask with shaking hands. I don’t know why he is worrying. There is no cause for alarm. This is something he has needed for one hundred years. Nothing is going to change all of a sudden.

He places the flask in between his lips. I watch him as he takes a gulp. The veins around his eyes pop out immediately. They do that whenever he is drinking blood. The smile on my face widens, you see. I knew he had nothing to worry about. He downs the whole flask and drops it on the grass as he wipes blood from under his chin.

’’I see you still have your appetite. That is a good thing,’’ Jules exclaims. My eyes move to the mark I gave him. it is still red, no matter how fast he heals, somehow the bruise is still there. I fucking love that I am able to show the world that he is mine and there is no hiding it.

’’So, what else do we need to verify,’’ he asks finally smiling.

’’I don’t think there are changes. Everything seems to be fine with you. We just have to watch you. It usually takes twenty-four to forty-eight hours for a human to fully turn into a wolf after the ritual. I don’t think we have anything to worry about with you,’’ he smiles.

Jules seems to know what he is talking about. I am so glad that I called him. I wouldn’t have been able to handle all this on my own. ’’I want you to pay a visit to Alby while I examine Beau,’’ Jules tells Lanis.

’’Okay,’’ Lanis stands up from the ground and I watch him. I don’t want him to leave but I also know there must be a reason why Jules wants me alone.

’’I’ll see you later?’’ I grab his hand before he can leave.

He manages a smile and then squeezes my hand reassuringly. This is the beginning of our fighting. i have to fight to protect him. He walks away from the field and out of my sight, somehow my inner wolf knows that he is no longer here.

’’Something has changed,’’ Jules says immediately.

I raise a brow in confusion. He just said everything was alright. What the hell is he talking about now and why will he wait until he left?

’’What are you talking about?’’

He sighs ’’I didn’t want to alarm him because I could sense that he was already worried.’’

’’What are you talking about uncle. What is wrong with him?’’

’’I wasn’t the one that noticed. Frankly Blue is the one that sensed it and I am not saying that this is a problem because it is not.’’

At this point, he is just beating around the bush. He is talking about my baby here. He needs to tell me what the hell is wrong.

’’What the fuck are you talking about,’’ I scream at him.

I can’t handle all the back and forth and that is what he seems to be going right now.

’’don’t you raise your voice at me,’’ he glares at me, his eyes warning me already.

I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it. this is not an overreaction. This is just me wanting to get to the bottom of it.

’’I am sorry Jules; I just need to know. Please what is wrong?’’

He sighs and then runs his hands through his hair probably frustrated by this whole ordeal. I don’t blame him; he has nothing to do with this. I am the one that roped him into this whole thing.

’’Blue is a warlock,’’ he tells me even though that doesn’t have anything to do with me. I know what that is, I have only met two witches in all my life. they don’t really associate with us wolves. All supernatural beings like to stay on their own. How is this even possible. I can’t tell that he is a wolf, his wolf scent is very strong. So how can he be both? All these questions run through my mind even though I still don’t know what that has to do with Lanis.

’’Okay, what does that have to do with this?’’

’’Just listen.’’ He pleads with me. I nod and he continues ’’I met his mother and we had sex. I don’t know how it happened, but she got pregnant. She has a coven up north.’’

’’Okay.’’

’’I just found him two years ago. I never even knew he existed until he came looking for me. Analise kept him away from me for so long. She trained him in her coven. They made him think he was normal even though he was a wolf. You can imagine how that must have felt for him. unable to be his true self. Deep down, his wolf spoke to him, even though it was never given the chance to come out. Blue always knew that he didn’t fully belong there, he felt it deep within him.’’

I see the pain in his eyes. The fact that he had a son all along and he had to live a lonely life all those years must have sucked. Jules is another mystery that I haven’t figured out. I don’t know his story, I don’t know how he became so close to my father. I only know the little that I was told.

This back story is nice. I mean I was wondering about him but the fact that he is explaining all this to me in a crucial time like this means that this has something to do with Lanis.

’’I don’t want to bore you with this long story. To cut it short, he has supernatural powers. He also has this thing called a Willed Sense.’’

He looks at Blue who has been quiet all through. I don’t even think I have heard the guy speak before. He is very quiet.

’’What is a willed sense?’’

Jules nods ’’He can tell everything about a person just by inhaling their scent. He inhaled Alanis’s scent.’’

I nod, patiently waiting for him to get to the point. He seems to be enjoying this slow pace when all I want is to get to the fucking point.

’’What did he sense?’’ I question with a held breath as I wait for their answer.

’’He has the scent of a human, it is just faint, almost unrecognizable,’’ Blue speaks for the first time.

That is confusing to me, frankly, it doesn’t make any sense. He literally just drank blood. ’’He is still a vampire. The fact that he drank that blood proves that.’’

Blue nods his head ’’He also has the scent of a vampire and that is the strongest scent emanating from him,’’ he informs me even though that doesn’t even make any sense.

’’So, he is half of both?’’

Blue shakes his head; a strand of hair falls to his eye. Slowly he tucks the strand behind his ear ’’He also has the scent of a wolf but it Is the same scent that is pouring out of you, so we can’t be too sure, that might just be from the mating ritual.’’

This doesn’t make any sense.

’’This doesn’t mean anything yet, it is all very faint right now, it might not be anything. We don’t know what this means. This is all new to everyone. it might just be the ritual. The fact that you guys have a bond, now. There was a lot of mixes last night,’’

They are trying to reduce the fear in me but isn’t it already too late?

Why would they tell me all this and not tell Lanis? Somehow, I know they want me to tell him. I am his mate; I should be the one to break it to him but how can I tell him that he was right all along. His father warned him that this could come with repercussions and now I have to let him know that his father was right all along.

Fuck.

Chapter 118: He is alright.

Darrien.

I don’t know what to do. How do I even do this when he is not even breathing? They all say I need to feed him my blood. I didn’t feel the need to last night. He didn’t even crave it. With vampires, there is usually a craving. Both parties crave each other’s blood. I thought things were different with Jabi. He is a werewolf. I thought he didn’t need my blood.

I asked everyone what we needed to do. They all said that I would feel it. I did everything I felt, so now hearing that what I did wasn’t good enough, hurts me so bad that it feels like I can’t breathe.

I am supposed to handle this with the same strength I use to handle everything in my life but looking at him on that bed. The paleness of his skin. Jabi has always been skinny, my plan was to fatten him up, give him the kind of life he deserved. On this hospital, he looks dead. The fact that I am even standing right now is taking all the strength in me.

I feel the tears as they fall from my face. Everyone in the room is staring at me, I don’t care that I am showing emotion.

To be frank, I don’t think anyone has a clue. No one knows what they are talking about. Jabi is dead, or at least he is almost dead. He isn’t breathing anymore. He doesn’t have a pulse and his scent is weak right now. Are they all telling me that my blood will bring him back?

It is a fifty-fifty chance and I am tired of taking all these chances with so much uncertainty.

’’You have no other choice,’’ Eligio speaks up, reading my mind.

’’What if this doesn’t work, what happens if it kills him?’’ I am just assuming the worst. I think the fact that had to carry him off the floor, totally unconscious and barely breathing has gotten to me.

I am spiralling. Losing my mind with all that is happening. One minute Jabi was hiding under my covers shy and now he is on his fucking death bed. How the fuck am I supposed to handle this. I just bonded with him, now he is tied to me and I might lose him.

’’You have no other choice. I am repeating it because that is all I can say. There is no other option. It is this or him dying,’’ El’s voice is firm. A little too harsh.

’’He is right. This boy is not dead. I can feel him.’’ The other guy with Jules informs me. I think he is his son.

How can he feel him when I can’t?

’’How do I do this? How will he feed on me when he is not even conscious,’’ at this point, I just want to do whatever it takes. I want him to look at me again with those brown eyes. I want him to blush and smile sheepishly.

I just want him back.

’’Just take him back to his house. Give him your blood, he will wake up once you do,’’ there is a tone in the old man’s voice. Almost like he is so sure about what he is saying. They want me to carry him back to his house in this condition. Maybe I am just panicking, they seem to think that everything will be alright. I just have to believe in these people.

They are the only choice I have.

’’Okay.’’

Alby smiles warmly. This smile gets to me, it tugs at my heartstrings because I feel the warmth in this man, he genuinely wants the best for me, and he doesn’t even know me. I still don’t understand the pack but I do know that they didn’t mean any harm to Jabi. They might have neglected him, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about him.

At this moment, with all that is going on. I know that they care for the kid. Eligio pats my shoulders warmly as I walk closer to Jabi. He is still unconscious. I lift him up at one go and they all watch me as I walk out of the room. This is a lot for me because there is still the fear in me that this won’t work. I don’t know how to handle all that is happening, but I need to be stronger for him right now. Jabi is my weakness and he is in dire need of my strength.

I get to his tiny cabin and the door opens with a loud creak. This house has a lot of beautiful memories. I realized all I needed to in this living room. I wish this house will bring him back to me.

I go straight to his bedroom, all the uncertainty lingering in. I don’t know what I am even supposed to be doing. Do I just rip my skin open and feed him the blood he needs desperately?

Shit, shit, shit.

I place him on the bed and sit down next to him. Nothing is different at this moment. There is absolutely no change in him. Okay, I need to do this, I need to bring him back to me. I don’t even know how I feel about all this. I mean I’ve never fed anyone my blood before. I have never been close to anyone to share that kind of intimacy but with Jabi, I want to do everything with him.

The best way to do this is from my wrist, the veins on my hands protrude out, almost like they can’t wait for what is about to happen.

My fangs shoot out immediately. The faster that I do this, the faster he will come back to me. I pierce the skin on my wrist, and I feel the blood in my mouth. Not the same effect as having someone else’s blood, his blood is still running through my veins. I had so much of him last night to last me a lifetime. Now I am giving him back a mixture of both of our blood. I pull him up until his head is resting on my leg, he is still not responding. I don’t know if this will wake him up, but vampire blood has been known to give strength when needed. Alanis gave Beau his blood, it brought him back to life—or at least it healed him faster.

I place my wrist on his lips, slowly parting them open with my spare hand. I see the redness as it spills down his mouth, making sure that the majority of it goes into his mouth. I push my hand deeper, trying to get as much blood in him as I can. I don’t know what I was expecting, maybe for him to start drinking.

I close my eyes, silently praying to whichever god exist. I need him to wake up. I brush his hair backwards as I feed him more. I feel the blood go down his throat.

’’Wake up baby,’’ I cry desperately for the miracle that I have been waiting for.

Slowly, his hand moves upwards and I feel his grip on my wrist, it makes me feel like the sound of my voice brought him back even though deep down I know it is my blood. His grip is tight, the strongest he has ever held me. He tugs at me, sucking the blood out of me faster. I can feel the blood as it leaves my veins and travels through his. His eyes shoot open instantly. The tension in my chest eases. He is awake. He is not dead, my baby is awake.

He drinks until the colour on his face starts to come back. This is what I wanted. I want him to be alive again. I watch him as he pulls his face away from my lips, confusion sprawled on his face. He has no idea what is going on. His eyes dart around, he is wondering why we are back in the community. I didn’t want us to come back today. I wanted to spend the day with him, at our place. I wanted him to feel everything I feel. I wanted to be with him without any worries but this life always has its own plans for everyone.

’’What happened?’’ he breathes out shakily, still looking around the room.

I pull him closer to me, not wanting to let him go yet. I just got him back and I am too scared that something will happen and I will lose him all over again. All this uncertainty is making me nervous.

’’You’re fine now,’’ I assure him still caressing his hair.

He reaches for my face and places his palm on it. It is like he can sense the fear in me. He might not know what happened but he can tell that I am not okay. Just the fact that I almost lost him today is driving me mad.

’’I am fine.’’

’’I almost lost you,’’ I tell him honestly.

At this moment, the tears fall from my face uncontrollably. He is the only person I want to show my vulnerability. He tries to sit up and his arms wrap around me, I hold him tightly because I never want to let him go.

 

Chapter 119: Loyalty?

Beau.

Jules left because of something to do with Jabi. I haven’t been in the right frame of mind, since he dropped that bomb. All the questions in my mind that I can’t say out loud.

I don’t know how to comprehend all he told me. How can Alanis be human?

He is already dead.

Although Blue said it was just a faint scent, I still don’t understand what it means.

I mean, they expect me to not talk to Lanis about it. I am not going to keep this from him. I am never keeping anything from him again, even if it might upset him.

I leave the field and head to the building where we the captured vampires are. I don’t know the situation with them, I don’t even know what I plan to do with them. I need to eventually let them go but I have to be sure that they are on our side. Right now, they are living with the fear that their Links are captured and could be killed at any time. I want to help them. I don’t want them to have to go on without their significant others.

I don’t know how to help them right now but in the end, the only way everyone can be free is if Cassius is dead.

The door to the house is open, I hear Lanis’s voice all the way from downstairs ’’we don’t want to hurt you guys, we are on your side,’’ his tone is calm. He is one of the best people in handling situations.

He does everything in such a calm manner, that it is so inspiring to me. Unlike me, I think with my fist first, I get angry too fast. There is this fire in me, that feels like it is about to explode.

’’How can you guaranty us that we won’t regret working with you guys?’’ one of the vampires—Bade speaks up. They sound a lot better than the night we captured them. I wanted to be able to trust us. We need them because I know for a fact that Cassius will definitely have more than one location. He is not the type of person that is easily accessible. These guys will know where he is, they can help us with the plan. I want to make sure we get their people before we even attack him.

’’You can trust us. We are not selfish like Cassius. We only want to help you but to help you, you have to help us.’’ I hear Lanis’s voice. This makes me completely proud. Hearing him say us. It suddenly feels like there is really an us. We are one now, everything we do from this moment is as one.

’’No one has ever been able to take down Cassius Blade, he is ruthless.’’ The other vampire Brone says.

I use this opportunity to walk into the room. ’’I will not let him get away with all that he has done,’’ my voice is firm. I mean it when I say this. Cassius will not go scot-free. As long as I am alive I will haunt him down until I have his heart in my grip.

’’What do you want us to do, how can we help?’’ Bade asks.

’’I want you guys to go back to him, act normal. See what his plans are.’’

They look at each other and for a second I see the fear that they are trying to hide. It is obvious in their eyes. I know this is a difficult thing to ask for. Almost like a double agent situation but this time, they are helping the good guys.

’’He will know,’’ Brone informs me.

’’Cassius might be smart but he is also conceited. He won’t believe that you guys will betray him. He has the one thing that he knows is your priority, your one weakness.’’

’’You know this and yet you ask us to help you. We have everything to lose in this situation.’’

I shrug. He is right. They could lose everything. This is a gamble and I can’t tell them that I know how this will end but I won’t forsake them. I will fight with them till the end.

’’I know that but Cassius will never stop controlling you. How long have you been at his mercy?’’

They both sigh. Without even an answer I know it has been a while. Cassius has been passing through towns for a long time. This is not something new and he has never been alone all through. These people are forever going to be controlled by him. They will never be set free.

’’It doesn’t even matter. I don’t know how else I can convince you but I will not hurt you. I don’t believe that you are monsters. He made you do the things you’ve done. I believe in the contention. I believe we can all live together peacefully.’’

I look at Lanis and he is smiling proudly at me. The same expression I had on my face when I heard him talk to them. He feels the exact same way as I, we formed a bond last night that no one can ever take from us. It will always be there. Everyone that thinks our relationship is wrong. It happened and no one can take that from us.

Ever.

’’Think about it. How long do you want to live in his control,’’ Lanis asks them both, buttressing my point.

’’what do you think?’’ Bade asks Brone. They look uncertain, the fear still crawling out of their eyes. I don’t blame them. I don’t know how I will react if this happened to me. If someone took Lanis as leverage to get me to do whatever they wanted.

Will I fall prey to them?

Brone whispers into the other one’s ear. They are contemplating. ’’Should we give you some room to make up your minds?’’

They look up to me, their expressions blank ’’We don’t need that right now. We have spent a couple of days here. If we don’t head on back, Cassius will think we are dead or he will know something is up.’’

I nod in understanding ’’so I take that as a yes.’’

They nod their heads.

’’You haven’t been hostages, I have treated you like I will treat my friend, I gave you a bed to sleep, I fed you. I hope this will be the beginning of a thriving relationship,’’ I look at the room I set up for them. The bed, I have supplied them with blood. Made sure they didn’t feel unwelcome. I really hope I don’t come to regret this decision. It might seem weak, that I am deciding to trust them even though all they have done is hurt my kind but I am giving them the benefit of doubt.

I don’t want to live a violent life.

I want peace.

That is the only way I will ever be happy.

’We are grateful for the way you have treated us. The fact that you spared our life, we will forever be indebted to you.’’

’’Let us work together. Let us show him that good will always prevail evil.’’

They both smile, I know that I have won them over. This is a good thing. Having two people on the inside will give us an advantage. Cassius will never believe that they would betray him, considering what he has on them.

I am being optimistic.

I make the arrangement with them, we all agree that they will set out tonight. The longer they wait, the more suspicious it is. The plan is simple, they go back and act like everything is alright. We don’t communicate unless necessary.

This way, he wouldn’t have any reason to suspect. I just need all his whereabouts. I don’t want him to be able to disappear because he is good at disappearing. This plan will get us one step ahead of him. This way we know what he is thinking.

I walk out of the house with Lanis, still contemplating how I should tell him. I need to tell him because I have been an advocate for transparency and this involves him.

I don’t want him to lose himself.

That was his biggest fear and now Blue seems to think that something has changed within him. I don’t believe it because his scent is still very strong. There is no difference.

He is still a vampire.

’’Something is bothering you,’’ he states point-blank.

I stop walking and take a deep breath. He knows what I am thinking, our minds are connected, not like I am even intent on keeping this from me.

’’You have to promise now to freak out,’’ I mutter in a low voice.

He manages a smile ’’what is wrong?’’ this time his voice is urging. Almost like he is telling me to spill the beans.

’’It’s about the ritual,’’

He watches me with this intent stare, his eyes pull me in. there is nothing different about him. This is the same Lanis I have loved. No one can tell me otherwise.

’’Something went wrong right?’’ he observes solemnly.

Nothing has changed.

Chapter 120: I am still me

Alanis.

He seems to think I will not be able to handle whatever it is he has to tell me. I don’t have any problems. As long as I have him, I will be able to handle anything.

’’ I am not worried, Beau. You should just tell me what it is.’’

Now I know that Jules must have told him something about me after I left. They made it seem like everything was okay and now it seems like things are not actually okay.

My father’s words keep running through my head. he said there was a chance that this would go wrong. Even now, with all the worry in Beau’s eyes. I don’t have any regrets. If I knew the outcome of the ritual, I would still do it again. The fact that I got the chance to experience all that with him is all that matters.

’’Jules doesn’t think we have anything to worry about,’’ he is avoiding telling me what it is.

’’But?’’

He sighs and then runs his fingers through his hair. ’’I don’t even know how to explain it.’’

’’Put it in the exact words. Tell me what he told you.’’

The moment the words leave his lips my heart stops beating. All his words clouding my mind. I don’t even fully understand what he said. I don know what it means for me. All the time he explains everything to me, I listen to him. I see the panic in his eyes, the fear and worry. He thinks I am going to freak out. Worry about all that he is telling me.

I don’t do all those things. I mean, if I freak out now, Beau will end up having doubts and regrets about all that has happened. I don’t have any doubts. I don’t want to be anything else but who I am. I am Alanis, I am a vampire. He fell in love with me because of who I am, so I want to strongly believe that the forces that brought us together wouldn’t change me.

’’You mentioned this when your father tried to talk you out of the ritual. I brushed it off for my own selfish reasons,’’

I furrow my brows in confusion not really sure where he is going with this. ’’I am sorry that I didn’t look into it further. You did this because of me and now we are in this dilemma,’’ he adds like he is even making any sense right now.

’’I didn’t do this because of you,’’ I tell him point-blank.

He sighs loudly, I grab his hands in mine ’’Do you understand that my decision was mine alone. No one coerced me into the ritual. It is what I wanted, and I don’t regret it for one second.’’

That is the honest truth.

I don’t feel any different.

There must be a reason for whatever is happening. I will not get scared and regret my own declaration for love. Being in the caves with Beau, I have never felt freer. The fact that I experienced all I did with him that night and can say I lived to see him and another day, is all I am grateful for. so he won’t try to convince me otherwise.

’’I don’t know how I feel about all that Jules said. I am so pissed at myself, even though I know there was nothing that I could’ve done differently to change this.’’

’’Why do we need to change this?’’

’’I don’t want you to change.’’

I am not changing. I don’t feel any different, there is nothing that proves that I am a different person but even if I did change. Even if I suddenly became a fucking werewolf, I would still be me.

’’I am still me Beau, I am still the man you love. No matter what,’’ I try to give him that assurance because I already know. I am not scared. Nothing about our whole situation can scare me now. Not even fucking Cassius.

’’I love you so much,’’ he whispers, coming closer to me. I pull him closer to me, my arms wrap around his waist. I feel his breath on the crook of my neck. It is hot and giving me the chills. The good kind, by the way.

’’So, is everything cool now?’’ he asks still in my arms.

There was nothing wrong. I don’t care about anything. He is the only one I care about. I need to go back home, talk to my father. He will be able to explain things better to me. He gave me his blessing, even though he didn’t agree with everything. right now, I have to be here with him.

’’We are cool,’’ I assure him.

Nothing is going to make me regret anything with him. Not even if I have to become human. I will take everything as destiny. How can you fight destiny? Destiny brought him to me, and I thank destiny.

’’My training starts tomorrow,’’ he tells me as we walk back to his house.

Jules said he would be stronger after the ritual. He probably wants to test that out. I don’t really know how that works. I have always known that Beau was strong. I don’t actually think fighting Cassius is about strength. Wining against Cassius is all about strategy.

That is all we need.

’’He wants to teach me how to control my wolf. He said I have a lot of potentials that I am not even aware of.’’ He smiles almost like he is excited to experience it all.

’’You know your wolf is a savage,’’ I tell him as I remember the night in the caves.

Beau took total control of me. he was a totally different person that night. I actually believe Jules when he says he has so much unlocked potential. I see it in his eyes every time I look at him.

’’Oh really,’’ he grabs my hand and pulls me closer.

My cheeks redden. We are close to his house, in the middle of the compound. Apart from the people standing guard. No one is roaming around. I know the look he has right now.

’’Do you want a repeat of last night. We have a couple of hours before Brone and Bade have to leave. We can have a quick one?’’ he is suggestive, and I like the sound of it all. The fact that we can have sex now without having to worry about anything is such a major turn on for me. His hands slide down my chest, slowly and seductively.

He is teasing me, and I like it so much.

Watching him right now, all I want to do is rip off his clothes and have him devour me. Slowly, he leans closer to me and his lips are on mine for a hot kiss. My heart thuds against my chest as he presses his body to mine, trying to opt for close proximity. I moan into his mouth as he slides his tongue deeper to the point where I feel it on the roof of my mouth. His dick is hard against mine. A reminder of last night surging through me.

Beau breathing spikes up, harder than a second ago. The kiss is getting to him as much as it is to me. ’’We should take this inside,’’ I mumble in between kisses.

He nods and leads me into the house hurriedly. We are in his room as fast as the flash and we help each other out of our clothes, no one wanting to slow things down. Beau pushes me to the bed with a loud thud and I lie flat on my back as he climbs on top of me. I feel all of him as he grabs my dick for a tug. Just a touch from him can send me off the wall. ’’This is supposed to be a quickie,’’ I breathe out heavily.

With dark eyes, he strokes me, enjoying every bit of my reaction. He doesn’t stop working his magic as he drives me to my edge. I squirm and wriggle in shudders until I spill all over him. it doesn’t seem like he is done as he places a warm kiss on my lips. His hands trailing to my entrance. His hand is warm, so warm against my cold body. Another thing that proves that nothing has changed.

He slides one finger into me, and I stiffen from the pressure. Unlike last night, I am in my right sense—okay maybe that’s not the right word but It is not as intense as last night. Last night was different, it felt like we were in a different world, now it feels like I am on earth with him. I can feel the pleasure as he twirls his finger into me. I can also feel a slight pain that I knew I would feel.

’’Does it hurt?’’ he mutters in a daze.

I shake my head incessantly because I don’t want him to stop. he slides another finger into me, this time opening me up. It doesn’t hurt anymore as he pushes his finger deeper into me.

After a couple of seconds of wet kisses and finger fucking. He pulls out of me and pushes his dick into me with so much force that I am sought of caught. A scream escapes my lips as I arch my back to accommodate him properly. His hand tugs at my hair, as he pulls my face closer.

’’You good?’’ he asks grinding into me.

I nod immediately because the deeper he goes, the more blissful it feels ’’Don’t stop,’’ I manage in between breaths.

He pushes into me and I moan as he finally hits that spot. I close my eyes, as he continues to hit the spot. I lied when I said it is not intense as last night. It feels just as intense.

’’Fuck,’’ he grunts into my lips.

I claw my nails into his back as he continues to put as much pressure on that spot. His dick is so deep inside me, that I feel like I am about to explode.

I open my eyes and he is watching me. in between pushes, he caresses my hair.

’’I love you Lanis,’’ he cries as sweats drip from his forehead.

I lean forward for a kiss, not needing to validate my feelings. He already knows that I love him too, even without saying anything.