Ch. 196..200: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 196-200

Chapter 196: Blue and Gyles.

Blue.

I have date with Rex tonight.

I am so excited.

I have never been excited about anything like I am in this moment. Damn, he looked so beautiful earlier. I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to be with him all day but I could tell he was nervous about everything.

I know this is new for him.

He doesn’t seem like someone that has relationships. He really has this innocent look. The kind that makes me want to be the one to show him around. I want to be his first everything. I walk into the house both Jules and I are staying in.

He is in the living room watching television. Ever since we got rid of Cassius, he has been relaxing. I find it great that he is spending his time doing the things that would make him happy. I still can’t figure out how he has survived so long without a mate. I don’t know the story there. I guess he would tell me when he is ready.

"Hey Jules,’’ I call him by the name I have been calling him. he told me that I could call him dad but it is just too weird to me. I literally just met him, as at now, he doesn’t really feel like a dad to me. just someone that I am getting to know. Maybe eventually, I will start calling him by that title but it just doesn’t feel like it right now.

"Hey son,’’ he looks away from the tv and to me. the smile on his face spreads "What do you think about a hunt?’’ he questions still smiling. He is the only one I have gone hunting with. I just found that I was a wolf not too long ago. Haven’t really explored the wolf side of me, that is why the magic side of me is so experienced. Mom taught me everything I know, she made me dependent.

She made me who I am today.

I might be upset with her about keeping this side of my life. The most important part of me, but I know I will forgive her eventually. Right now, I want to focus on Rex and getting to know him.

And Gyles.

My wolf pitches in. I stop mid track, unsure of what I just heard in my head. Who the fuck is Gyles?

"I can’t tonight,’’ I shake the thought out of my head. That name is familiar. I think I heard it somewhere.

"Why not?’’ he raises a brow, curious.

I shrug. I don’t plan on telling him anything right now. I just want to get to know Rex first. "I am tired. The trip was kind of stressful,’’ I lie because I know Jules, he is quite persistent and the more I tell him, the more he would like to know.

"That’s weird, you are never tired." He uses my one strength against me. not saying I never get tired but it is rare for me.

"Tonight, I am,’’ I interject, walking away from him and to my room. I had to escape because he could drag the whole thing for a long time. The first thing I do when I enter the room, I was given is take off all my clothes. The regret I have for leaving this weekend is immense. I lost time with Rex, time I can never give back. I only agreed to go because I thought he was going too.

I walk into the bathroom and drop my clothes in the washing basket. Walking into the showers, I close my eyes as the hot water pours down my skin. The more time I spend in this community, is making it start to feel like a home. Maybe it is because Rex is here. Maybe I can finally belong somewhere.

His face pops into my head. His brown eyes, curly brown hair. The smile on his face when he saw me. My wolf cries within me, the hunger pouring out. I want to take things slow but I don’t know how long I can. The full moon will be out in two weeks. I don’t want to rush and do this in that two weeks. I want to wait for the next one.

You can’t.

My wolf scolds me, even though I have already thought about. I don’t want to do this the way it has always been done. I want to do it my way. I want to connect with him. there is this thing called kismet between witches. The invisible thread that no one but us will be able to see. I want to join the threads to our hearts. I want us to connect in all ways that I can. I want to become one with him both mentally, and physically.

I know, it sounds weird and maybe it is stupid of me.

Who knows?

********************

It takes a lot for me to be patient enough to wait until seven in the night. I had half a mind the whole day to go and look for him but I guess I was patient enough. Once it is seven, I walk out of the house and luckily Jules is somewhere in his room. I go to the direction of his house. The compound is still empty. Feels like everyone hasn’t gotten used to the fact that Cassius is no more. They are all still acting like there is a curfew. I guess it will take some time before they can get used to it.

I walk all the way to his house. I walk until my feet take me to the front of his door. With heavy breaths, I raise my hand up to knock. I am completely nervous. I dressed up in my best clothes. I want this to be a real date. I want this to be perfect. Rex is not the first person I have been with. I have had flings, both girls and guys. He wouldn’t be my first anything but I want to be his. I don’t know if that is selfish of me but that is all I want.

I knock on his door and I hear his footsteps as he walks over the door.

My wolf is jumping inside me.

So happy to be near him.

The moment the door opens and I see who is behind it. I furrow my brows from the confusion. The person on the other end of the door opens his eyes wide. There is almost recognition on his face. He knows who I am, he seems very familiar.

Suddenly, I realise that I am in the wrong wrong "Fuck,’’ I run my hands trhough my hair, messing it up, even though I spent such a long time brushing it. I wanted to look good, I tried so hard to be presentable and I couldn’t even find his room properly.

"This is not Rex’s room,’’ I manage, even though my heart is pounding like crazy. I don’t know why I came here. It is almost like my legs had a mind of their own. Why am I feeling all bubbly on the inside. Rex is nowhere near.

Why does it feel like my other half is here?

"No it isn’t,’’ he smiles obviously amused. His dimples reveal themselves and I take a deep breath to control whatever is going on inside me.

Okay. This is very weird.

Right?

No.

My wolf answers me.

He is happy to be here with whoever this is.

"Do you know where it is?’’ I ask, even though I am pretty sure I can get there on my own. I want to spend more time with him.

Find out his name.

Gyles.

My wolf answers.

That name again.

It sounds so fucking familiar but I can’t remember where I heard it. "I could show you,’’ he suggests and my heart warms up from the gesture. He is dressed in a pair of black shorts that are so shorts that I can see his legs. They are long and very toned. I don’t know why I am looking at his legs.

His voice travels down to my spine. It gives me the chills. I feel like I have heard his voice too. Everything about him is so familiar but also a mystery. It doesn’t makes any sense to me because Rex is rummaging through my mind. The fact that I will get to see him soon, is the most exciting thing about my night.

We walk side by side down the halls. He doesn’t say a word but his scent is strong. He has the scent of a vampire and a wolf. That is why he is a mystery. I want to figure everything out. I want to know moore about him.

Does that even make any sense?

"Here we are,’’ we stop in front of Rex’s room. Totally on the other side of the house but somehow, I managed to go there instead of here.

"Thanks, uh..." I breathe out. Suggesting that he tell me his name.

Deep down, it already feels like I know it.

Deep down.

"Gyles,’’ he informs me with a smile, completely shattering me into pieces.

 

Chapter 197: Tell the truth

Rex.

I open the door to my room and they are both in front of my door. They are both staring at each other.

Panic takes over my whole being because the first thing I think is that Gyles has told him everything. I don’t know what I would do if he already knows. I plan on telling him tonight. After our date. I don’t want to ruin this with him.

Blue looks very masculine but I have come to know that he is a very sensitive being. His exterior doesn’t really match his interior.

"Uh, what is happening here,’’ I manage. I don’t want to assume anything because I don’t know yet. There could be a reasonable explanation for this pair.

Right.

In what looks like a difficult attempt, he snaps out of whatever trance he is in and turns to me. There is a confused expression on his face. His face is red, his eyes very dark. The kind of darkness that makes me think he is thinking dirty thoughts. Something springs up to my mind. It is just a split second but I think about it anyway.

What if this thing between us is between all of us and not just me as the middle man? What if we are each other’s mate?

That thought is exciting to me because I don’t want them to have to share me. I want this thing between the three of us to be mutual. The more I think about it, the more excited I am. "What are you doing here Gyles,’’ I decided to interrupt their staring contest. Blue turns towards me immediately, getting out of his trance. I look at him for the first time. He is dressed in a dark blue pair of jeans and a black turtle neck shirt. His hair is neatly brushed over his shoulders. I never thought I would have a thing for short hair on a guy but he is one of the sexiest men I have ever met.

"Hey,’’ he smiles at me, almost like he is oblivious to how awkward it was a second ago.

"You met Gyles.’’

His eyes go back to Gyles. Who has this expression on his face that I can’t read. They seem to be in the same zone. Almost like they both can’t even see me. It is weird that right now, it feels like I am out of whatever is going on. Blue slowly turns back to me "You look great,’’ he breathes out, his voice is strained and husky.

I love the way it sounds.

I smile because the two of them next to me is giving me a lot of energy that I need to steam out "I am ready,’’ I say, walking out of the room.

He nods "Gyles showed me where your room was,’’ he smiles, slowly turning to him again.

I don’t know what is happening but I like this a lot "Oh, you forgot where it was?’’ I manage with the smile still on my face.

He looks back at me and his cheeks are red "I actually got turned around and ended up in his room. He was kind enough to bring me here,’’ he confesses innocently.

I know that Gyles knew what he was doing. He knows Blue and I don’t think he likes him—or at least he doesn’t like the fact that he likes me. "Is that true?’’ I face him with a raised brow.

He nods "Yes it is." this is the first thing he has said and I feel like he is reading my mind. Like he has been doing all weekend.

"I don’t know why your name is so familiar. I feel like I have heard it before,’’ Blue pipes up, striking conversation with him. There must be interest within him. Why else would he continue this conversation? We have a date to go for. I have to tell him the truth about everything and I can’t do it here.

"I am the forbidden guy. You know the one everyone in the community has been talking about?’’ Gyles answers with a smile on his face. His attention seems to be solely on Blue. Almost like he is enjoying whatever the fuck is going on between them. I know I just said that I like whatever this is but right now, I am feeling a little jealous. I like the attention on me. I have always been in the shadows. Never the center of attention and suddenly I am. I felt the love from the two of them—I liked it a lot. Now Blue seems to be focused on Gyles.

I don’t know if I like that, especially since I haven’t even had any real alone time with Blue. When I first met him, the whole war with Cassius was going on, and then he went for the weekend.

"Cassius’s Lover?’’ Blue realizes, there is still a smile on his face. He doesn’t seem peeved out by that. The scene in front of me seems flirtatious.

"Well yeah." Gyles doesn’t deny it.

Deep down, I know he still hasn’t gotten over Cassius "I didn’t know him as Cassius. He will always be Roger to me." he takes a step closer to Blue. My eyes remain on the two of them. "You are the mate?’’

I freeze because I don’t know how Blue will feel about that. He would probably not be happy that I told him...right?

"Guilty,’’ he breathes out. Looking at me again. He walks over to me and pulls me into him with my hand. My body presses to him. I know I said I wanted to be the center of attention, maybe I spoke to soon because the look on Gyles’s face shatters me completely. I see the jealousy in his eyes, the pain. I know he doesn’t like this sight.

"I should go back to my room,’’ he coughs out nervously "Enjoy your date,’’ he faces Blue, giving him one last smile. There is this lingering expression on his face. It almost looks like he feels left out. Does he actually want the two of us? I think that will be the best thing for us all. Having each other.

I watch Gyles as he walks away and I already miss him. Blue is still looking at him. I don’t know what he is thinking or how he feels but there is something there. It feels like he feels whatever I do.

"How come I have never noticed him before?’’ he asks me, just as I disappear from his view. I don’t want to tell him that it has just been a week since he came here. I have to tell him everything that happened first.

"It has just been a week. I am sure you were bound to meet him eventually,’’ I give him a vague answer.

Tell him now.

My wolf shouts at me. I want that too. That will be the best thing to do, instead of pretending and keeping it from him. I take a deep breath. I wanted to wait until the date was over but it seems like I have to know.

"Are you ready?’’ he asks, pulling me even closer to him.

I manage a smile because his scent is distracting me. the pull that comes when he is around is takinging over. I should be able to focus on only him and not think about Gyles but he is also on my mind. I feel fucking guilty. He should be here with us. I don’t even know how it will work but we have to find a way.

"I need to tell you something,’’ I manage nervously. Beau said I shouldn’t keep this from him and he is right. All the guilt I have been feeling all weekend. The fact that I was with Gyles and thinking about blue is unfair.

"Right now?’’ he asks with that smile still on his face. This is the moment; I need to be honest with him.

"Yes,’’ I breathe out.

I lead him into my room and he follows me in. the smile is still stuck to his face. I don’t think it will stay there for longer. I am scared about a lot of things and this has become one of the things that I am scared of. Hurting Blue. No matter what I say, he will see this as a betrayal. Especially if he doesn’t feel the same way.

"You are making me worried, what is wrong?’’

I lead him to the bed and he sits down on the edge. The bed is arranged but all the memories I shared with Gyles still lingers.

"Can we not do this right now. let me take you on this date first. I feel like this is going to be bad,’’ he pipes in shakenly. I see the fear in his eyes. I don’t think the best thing to do is avoid this.

He needs to know about this.

I need to tell him.

"Okay,’’ I do the opposite of what I really want to do.

As usual.

Chapter 198: The truth is out

Blue.

Everything is weird.

I have this feeling in me that I can’t comprehend and now it seems like there is also something going on with Rex. Maybe this is the cowardly side of me. I told him that I didn’t want to know until after our date. What am I even scared of? it is not like he is about to break up with me.

Right?

"Are you ready?’’ I ask him.

He sighs. There is this hesitation in his voice. Almost like he doesn’t even want to do this. He is stuck on whatever he was about to tell me. I am starting to think whatever he is about to say is a lot more serious than I even thought it was. I hate disappointments. All my life, I have run away from it. I have tried to avoid situations that will bring me disappointment.

"What do you want to tell me? I think you should just say it now,’’ I blurt out those words because this seems like something I can’t avoid. Whatever this is, is bothering him and I can’t stand to see him worried or bothered. If his mind is not going to be in this, then there is no point. He should just say what he has to.

He opens his eyes wide. He probably didn’t expect me to say that. I already begged him to keep it till after and now I am telling him to tell me the truth. Maybe I don’t even know what I am doing or saying anymore. I just don’t like the way I feel after seeing that guy.

Gyles.

My heart thuds against my chest and my wolf is excited. This doesn’t make sense because suddenly I am not sure about anything anymore. I sensed his aura and I know he is a vampire but there is a wolf inside him—fighting to come out. I could feel him blocking his wolf. I can tell he doesn’t want to accept that part of him and he doesn’t even know it.

"I thought you wanted to have the date first," he manages nervously.

It seems like he doesn’t even want to tell me whatever this is. "Just say it now. I can’t stand to see you worried like this.’’ I confess because that is how I feel. He walks over to me and grabs both of my hands in his. I guess this is it. he is about to reject me. Fuck, why am I thinking the worst right now?

I have never met a wolf that was rejected by his mate. How does this even work? This thing between us is cosmic—out of our control. He can’t possibly tell me that he doesn’t feel the same way. It just doesn’t make sense.

Right?

"Hey, please stop thinking the worst,’’ he breathes out. He can already tell that much about me, so he should know that this is killing me. The suspense of the whole thing. I need to know what is wrong before I lose my mind.

"Then tell me what it is,’’ I cry out in desperation.

He nods "You have to promise not to freak out. Before I go into this, you need to promi9se me that you will listen and try to understand the whole thing before freaking out.’’

I nod.

I am as most understanding as I can. Everyone that I have met has said so. I don’t react the same way wolves do. Even though I do get angry but I always like to control my wolf. "Okay,’’ is all I say because I mean, what else can I say to this. I don’t know what it is so I can’t tell if I will react the way he doesn’t want me to react.

"So, I know you think I am your mate,’’ he starts but then pauses and shakes his head "No that is not how I should say it. I know I am your mate but is it possible that you are not the only one?’’

I raise a brow. I don’t know what he is saying. I hear his words but I can’t comprehend or even rationalize his statement. "What do you mean?’’ I ask.

He is my mate. I am so sure of that. I just don’t know what he is talking about right now.

"That guy, Gyles. I feel something for him. The same things I feel for you.’’ he finalizes and my heart feels like it is about to explode. I can’t even fully understand what he is saying but the fact that he is telling me that he has feelings for someone that is not me is earth-shattering.

"Wow," I manage because it is taking a lot from me not to freak out. I did promise him that I wouldn’t freak out and all I want o do right now is react even though I said I wouldn’t.

"So what does this mean?’’ I ask him in addition. If he is saying that he has feelings for Gyles, does that mean I am not his mate anymore? Is his heart wavering?

What exactly is he telling me?

"I don’t know, I just know that my wolf wants the two of you. There is this pull between you two that I can’t deny,’’ he explains and I know it is supposed to make me feel better but it doesn’t. In fact, it makes me feel worse.

"Does he know that you feel all those things about him?’’

He nods.

I can’t even think about anything but Gyles all over my mate. My wolf should be raging right now but there is no anger within me. Something about that thought entices me. I usually know what is going on or at least I always have an idea but right now, I can’t even tell what my wolf is even thinking.

"Has anything happened between you two?’’ I decided to ask because his confession has me thinking about all sorts of things. This is not what I planned. I had it all mapped. Dinner at the field. We weren’t even going out of the community but I wanted to make this date special. I wanted to spend time with him and ask him all these personal questions that I had taken down. I didn’t expect to be hit with this instead.

I look at him as I wait for him to answer my question but there is a guilty expression on his face. he doesn’t answer but in one instant, it is like his mind is open to me. It hit me instantly and I see him, kissing Gyles. I see them all over each other and the hurt is immense. I can’t pinpoint if I am hurt that he did all this without me or if did them at all. I came to his room tonight with so much confidence but in a split second, I lost all the confidence I had. Now I am just in pain.

He notices the change in my expression even though I try to hide it from him. I don’t want him to see me react to this, especially after promising him. "I am sorry,’’ he cries.

I take a step away from him and he tries to grab my hand back but they are on my sides with no intention of holding him again "This is not your fault. You don’t have to worry about anything.’’

He shakes his head "You don’t understand. You might think this is me rejecting you or something but that is not the case."

I have heard of situations where the mate is rejected. In those situations, they either become rogue or die of heartbreak. I won’t die because I am an Alpha. If he does this, he could end up dead. I don’t want him to die.

"I know you are not rejecting me. You want us both...right?’’

He shakes his head again "This is not about me and what I want. The deities chose this,’’ he exclaims frustratedly. I know this is not easy for him. I might not know a lot about Rex but I can tell he is not this kind of person. He is not selfish.

"Are you implying that we are both your mates?’’ I ask because I have never heard of this before.

He nods for the first time.

I scoff "That’s not possible Rex. You can’t have two mates."

He nods "I know but you are a Warlock and a wolf and you are my mate. Beau is a wolf and Alanis is a vampire. they are mates. I think anything is possible.’’

He has a point there but how will this even work.

How do we share him. the thought of him being alone with Gyles is maddening.

I can’t take it.

He must understand how I am feeling right now.

"So what are you saying right now,’’ this is shocking to me because I always have answers but now that it has to do with me. I don’t have any.

Chapter 199: The dream of us.

Gyles.

I open my eyes and he is in front of me with a smile on his face. His eyes are dark and hungry...for me? I can’t really tell but this feels like a dream. It has to be a dream. "Hey," he breathes out those words into my ear. I haven’t thought about him since that phone call. I have tried to block him out of my mind. He doesn’t need to be there in the first place but here he is, in this dream, enticing me with his grey eyes. How do I stand this?

What do I say?

He climbs into the bed and slides his legs in between my body.

"You have to wake him up,’’ he echoes in the darkness. I can’t even tell if I am in my room—or rather, the room Beau gave me or if this is somewhere else. I don’t even know how possible it is that the room is so dark and his face is shining so bright. I raise my hand up and he watches me, with a smile on his face. My heart is beating heavily, my hands are legs are trembling. This is a lot for me to handle but somehow I like the way he is making me feel.

"Why am I dreaming about you Blue,’’ I call his name out loud and his smile widens. I like the way his name rolls off my tongue. I like the way saying his name feels. What is happening?

"This isn’t a dream,’’ he answers.

I don’t even know what to say to that. I know I went to bed, with so much jealousy and rage. I didn’t like the fact that they were on a date and I was alone in my room. I know I told Rex that I didn’t want to be his mate. That I didn’t want to be controlled but at that moment, all I wished for was the both of them but I couldn’t say it out loud. I don’t have anyone to talk to but the voice in my head.

That part of me that feels like another person.

The part I have been pushing so down and ignoring all this while.

"It feels like a dream, there is no way you are here, in bed with me,’’ I rest my hand on his face and he closes his eyes immediately. I feel the spark. That electricity that surged through my veins when I touched Rex. I feel the exact same way. I don’t even understand this. I don’t even know what is going on anymore.

"Just because you are not awake doesn’t mean this is not real. I am not just in your mind," he reaches for me and places his palm on my chest. I am so sure he can feel the pounding of my chest. I know he knows how he is making me feel right "I am in your heart and you know it,’’ he leans forward and I drop my hand from his face.

I don’t know what is happening but I want this so badly. I want to taste his lips on mine. I have kissed Rex and it was the best feeling ever but now I want to know how it feels like to taste him. Would he be as sweet as he looks? Would he be rough, gentle or both?

Our lips are inches apart. I wait for him to do what has suddenly become a craving "Do you want this?’’ he asks calmly. His breath is hot on my face. The best kind of heat.

I nod my head immediately. His smile widens "I will give you everything you want. I will be your everything." He breathes out huskily. My mind is in a fog right now because I don’t know how to handle everything that is happening. I want him to kiss me but I am scared that a kiss will seal the deal. I don’t want to be hooked on him. I don’t want to lose my mind over him and all that he is.

It is insane that I feel this way. I should stop this but I control the situation by smashing my lips to his. He yelps quietly, probably not even expecting this. My tongue slides into his mouth, the taste even better than I imagined. I didn’t know I was starving until this moment. Here I am kissing Blue—Rex’s mate. I know this is not a dream but as he grinds into me, I let out a gasp. Still completely shocked by everything that is happening.

I can’t think of anything but him at the moment. Suddenly my heart is pouring out to him. I am giving him every piece of me and I don’t want to stop. I don’t have any regrets. My heart is with him completely. I don’t know how long we kiss but it feels amazing. Yeah, I am confused about everything but as I pull away from him slowly, the smile sprawls on his face. "You feel the same way,’’ he points out.

I can’t deny it because it is true. I can’t lie to myself right now and it doesn’t even matter. This is a dream, it is not real. The moment I wake up, I will be alone, in my bed. At the end of the day, Rex is with Blue. I am not even in the picture.

"You know that is not true. This is not a dream,’’ he reads my mind. I hate the fact that I am an open book to him in this world. Usually, I am the one that does the mind-reading. Now he is doing exactly what I do. I don’t like this.

"Why aren’t you doing this in real life, why here?’’ I ask him. He is still close to me, I don’t ever want him to leave "Because I am stubborn. Because my wolf is in control when I sleep and it knows best.’’

So this is his wolf right now.

That means he doesn’t know what he wants. Just like me. If blue is having the same dream as me, then he is not in control either "What about Rex? Where does he fit in all this?’’

Even though I am having conflictions right now, I know for a fact that I want Rex more than anything. I know how he makes me feel and even though Blue is here trying to convince me otherwise. "What about him?" he asks like he doesn’t know what I am talking about.

"You know what I mean,’’ I interject. If he thinks he is going to convince me to choose him, I will not.

The voice is my head keeps on telling me that I don’t have to choose but I don’t even want this. I don’t want this forceful pull. I don’t want the control. I want to love whoever I want to without being told that I have to.

"No one is telling you. This is just destiny,’’ he reaches for me again and caresses my face. I close my eyes because his touch is magnetic. It makes me feel things that I never ever thought I would be feeling.

"Rex is with us, you don’t have to worry about it.

"He is right,’’ I hear his voice and I jump up the bed because it feels like I have done something wrong. He walks into the room, shining just like Blue is. His eyes are bright. Is this him, or is this his wolf? I can’t even tell. "This is not what you think"

It is stupid of me to try and explain myself when I know that this is a dream. I just keep wondering if he is having the exact dream that I am.

"You don’t have to explain anything to me, Gyles. I feel the same way too,’’ he climbs on the bed and I watch him come over to us. Blue reaches for him and I watch them embrace. They are making out right in front of me. What are they doing? This is very weird for me. I don’t know if I am okay with it. They pull apart from the kiss and smile at me, almost like that was a statement. They were telling me that it can work. We can love each other equally. I don’t know them—like I really don’t know anything about them, except how they make me feel.

"We will get to know each other,’’ Blue pipes in and leans back to me. Rex follows and I watch him as he kisses my forehead. This is his way of asking for permission. I press my lips to his and he welcomes me. I can never shy away from him. I want him. Fuck, it seems like they are right.

Could I possibly want both of them?

"Wake him up,’’ they both repeat and in that instant, the dream ends.

I open my eyes just as the dream ends.

"Fuck,’’ I exclaim to the dead of the night. Sweat trickles down my face. I don’t know what that was but I am even more confused.

They wanted me to wake someone up.

Who?

ME.

For the first time since I came back to. I feel him.

My wolf.

Chapter 200: I don’t want to be alone

Gyles.

The next morning, I stay in my room. I can’t stop thinking about that dream. I have been unable to stop thinking about them. It is beginning to hurt. Rex hasn’t even looked for me and the day is almost over. He said he wasn’t going to let anything come between us and I actually believed him. I guess he has a lot to process.

After that dream, I believe him. I believe all the things he has been trying to hammer into my brain. Even though I believe, I don’t have any plans on listening to whatever this is. Yes, I can feel my wolf now. he is trying to come out. I feel him gnawing at me with different thoughts but I am a vampire. I have always been a vampire—granted my time as a vampire was cut short but I still feel everything that I have always felt. Nothing has changed and I don’t even want this life. I don’t want to be in a pack. I don’t want to have to listen to an alpha. Everyone seems to think that is the best thing for me right now but I don’t trust anyone. Roger was the only one that I trusted.

Roger was crazy.

My wolf tells me. I don’t appreciate his opinions. I don’t care what he thinks. His whole heart has been given to those two boys but my heart is still with Roger. I still ache every time I think about his death. I am still angry that I only had one day with him after being reunited. The whole thing still hurts and now I am supposed to tie myself down to two men.

It just doesn’t sit right with me.

"You need to calm down Gyles,’’ I comfort myself. This is a thing that I do. Whenever I have issues, I will talk myself into a solution.

I hear a knock on my door "Who is it?’’ I shout through the door. Hoping it is anyone but Rex.

"Beau.’’

I walk to the door and he smiles when he sees me "Hello Hybrid,’’ he waves, walking into the room. I don’t know why he is here but it can’t be anything good. I am sure he already knows—I mean, he saw us in bed together.

"So, I have a number of things to talk to you about. There is good news and then bad news. Which do you want first?’’

I take a deep breath. I am used to bad news. Maybe it will be better to hear the bad news first. "Bad news,’’ I tell him.

He smiles "I spoke to the Elis. They don’t want you to stay in the pack."

I kinda expected this.

I don’t know why they feel they can control me. I am not their property. They don’t own me. "They can’t tell me what to do.’’

He shrugs "Well I did take you with the promise of returning you,’’ he tells me, like that somehow gives reasoning to what they are doing.

"I am not going back to them. You don’t have to worry about anything. I won’t stay, just give me a couple of days and I will leave your community.’’

I don’t even think I belong here. Even though my wolf keeps screaming and pleading with me. Beau furrows his brows in confusion. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it the way I did. It is not like I am ungrateful. I will forever be indebted to him and his kindness.

"I know this must be weird for you, keeping the lover of the man that killed your people. I don’t blame you if you want me gone.’’

He shakes his head "I don’t want you gone. I said I have good news and bad news. You haven’t even listened to the good news." He smiles. I look at him, confused because he is beating around the bush, instead of just being direct.

"What do you mean?’’

"You are not leaving. At least, if you want to stay. I won’t treat you like the Elis. If this place isn’t it for you, then you don’t have to stay but I heard from Rex and I think you would like to stay."

Because we are mates.

The one thing I want but can’t have.

I don’t deserve it.

I can’t handle it.

"I don’t think I should stay?’’

He furrows his brows at my revelation. I can understand if he can’t believe that I would want to let go of this. I don’t even believe that I am spewing this nonsense.

"You do not that if this thing between you guys is real, it will kill you.’’

I don’t believe I will die If I decide to leave but he seems to think otherwise. "I will be fine,’’ I assure him.

"Why are you denying this? don’t you feel what he feels?’’ he questions, probably wanting to understand.

I don’t even understand.

"How will this thing work. We are three guys. What is the point of all this?’’ I really want to understand it. it is bad enough when it is between two guys, now I have to fight for the two of them.

Do I have to love them equally?

Hope they love me equally.

It just doesn’t make sense.

I don’t even want anyone else to take my heart. Roger is the only one I want to give it to. He is the only one that I want to love in this lifetime.

But you already love them.

My wolf reminds me.

I push his voice to the back of my mind. I don’t even want to think about that. I don’t want to even acknowledge him right now.

"You know that doesn’t matter, these things are beyond our control or understanding. We need to figure everything out. Now that they both know. I want you guys to explore this thing.’’

They both know?

Did Rex tell him?

Maybe avoiding Rex isn’t the best thing.

He must be beside himself if he has told Blue. I mean, he basically cheated. Yeah, I am the one that instigated most of the things but I knew how he felt. I manipulated him by reading his mind.

"I don’t think I can face them right now.’’

He smiles "Do you want to pursue this?’’ he asks. That is a serious question. He needs to know because he wants to know the next action.

"I don’t know,’’ I tell him.

I want this more than anything. My wolf wants them more than anything. I don’t know what to do anymore.

"You have to decide. This will be the easiest and most beautiful time of your life. You will explore real and unbiased love. Trust me, this is everything you will ever want. You have to give it a chance.’’

"Did he say anything about me?’’ I ask. I want to know what he is thinking. How he feels. I want to talk to him about the dream I had last night.

"He wants to see you but he is waiting on Blue. It would be a lot better if you all felt the same way about each other.’’

So Blue is upset?

That must mean that he wasn’t happy about us. Then why did he come to my dream? Why did he say all those things to me?

It was his wolf.

My wolf tells me, even though I wasn’t talking to him. it is the one thing I can’t get used to "Can I see him?’’ I ask Beau like I need his permission. Maybe I am just walking on eggshells because I am scared to be abandoned.

"He is in school right now but I am sure he will look for you when he gets back. So do you want to pursue this thing cause I want to speak to Alby about it?"

This is the problem. The whole involving people in my business. I don’t like it and now it seems like it will come with the package. If I choose to be with them then I will have all these eyes on me. I don’t know if I am ready for that.

"You don’t have to decide right now. just go with the flow. Trust me, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from falling even harder.’’

He walks towards the door "Thanks Beau,’’ I manage because the only thing he has done is confuse me even more. I don’t want to tell him that I am scared. That I feel like I am hurting Roger by doing this. I might have made a promise to him—told him that I was going to live my life but this doesn’t feel like the right way.

I just feel like I am betraying him even though he is dead and gone.

I am tired of feeling this way.

I think about the man that told me he was my father. I think about the basement he kept me in. I don’t know why that thought comes into my mind but I think about him and sadness washes over me.

I don’t want to be alone.

I don’t want that.