Ch. 201..205: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 201-205

Chapter 201: I want to make you feel the things he did

Rex.

"He is not talking to me right now,’’ I tell Justin. We are in his car on our way to school. Justin is Bell’s mate. The only other person that is actually interested in going back to school. Beau mentioned that he is taking a couple of weeks off. I can understand that he is exhausted. I mean, he just came out of a war.

He can have a couple of weeks to himself.

"You know you kind of fucked up,’’ he reminds me. I already know. I should have handled the whole thing differently. Thinking about it, I am the villain. The person that kind of sort of cheated. I shouldn’t have led Gyles on. I made a promise to Blue and then I was kissing another guy.

I get why he would be upset.

"Yeah, I did.’’

He nods and turns the steering wheel in the direction of the school. I have missed school and the normalcy that comes with it. "What about the other one?’’ Justin asks curiously. Ever since he found out about it, he has been intrigued. I guess this would be intriguing to any wolf. This is not something that just happens. This situation is rare and dare I say—one of a kind. I wish I had a normal mating. I wish I didn’t have to feel so guilty about being intimate with my mate but at the end of the day, communication would have handled this better.

"I don’t know if I am allowed to see him. I want to wait until Blue is okay with it.’’

Blue left me with no words. he didn’t tell me that I was forgiven. I didn’t really get a lot of angry vibes from him but I could tell he was disappointed. I saw the hurt in his eyes, there was also a hint of jealousy. I don’t know if he will forgive me soon. I miss him and it feels like my wolf is hurting. I just want things to be cool with us.

"Allowed to see him. dude, what the fuck? Is this a control your man situation?’’ he raises a brow as he glances at me.

This is not about control.

I just feel so guilty.

It is not like Gyles has accepted this. I don’t know if he is still in denial and I just know that seeing him right now will end with either kissing or doing more. I wouldn’t be able to control myself and I will feel like I am cheating. Fuck, I don’t know how to handle this situationship. I run my hands through my hair as I think of how to handle this.

"I just don’t want to cause any more hurt.’’

He nods "Do you know what they call your relationship. I saw it in a movie once.’’ He smiles excitedly.

As I said, everyone is so interested in this. I keep thinking about the dream I had last night. The fact that I am so hopeful that they both feel something for each other made me concoct a whole reality in my sleep. The dream felt real, we were together. We had felt things that I can’t forget. Blue and Gyles kissing. Fuck, it was the hottest thing I have ever witness.

"Dude, where did you go to?’’ he waves his hand in my face.

I snap out of the sexual thoughts I am having. This thing is funny, I never even thought about sex before Blue and Gyles. Now that is all I apparently think about.

"So, guess what it is called?’’ he asks almost like he is about to reveal something amazing.

I raise a brow "what is it called?’’

He smiles widely "A throuple. You are in a throuple relationship with your mates.’’ He says as if he has accomplished something great. I know what a throuple is. We all have to be in this together. If they are not interested in each other, then it won’t be that. I wish they will show interest. I wish they would want each other as much as I want them. Maybe it is too much to ask for. Maybe this is me being greedy but I just feel so weak to it all.

"Yeah, good job Justin,’’ I hail him even though he hasn’t really said anything new. I already knew this. I have been doing my research. I have googled everything about our relationship. I have tried to understand it and see how it will work. I already feel like it will but I can never be too sure. If Gyles doesn’t give in to this, there will be problems.

We get to school and go our separate ways. After school, I go back home and the first person I see is Blue. He is outside the compound, in front of the house Beau let them stay in. One of the guest houses. I can tell he is not ready to see me.

"Hey blue,’’ Justin calls to him, obviously not reading the room. I glare at him and he shrugs.

"Hi Justin,’’ he greets him back. his tone is straightforward. I know him, I know when he is upset. Right now, he is.

"I should go,’’ I tell him because this is awkward and I want to give him his space.

He shakes his head.

"Come with me,’’ he tells me and walks back into the house. Now I am starting to think he was waiting out here for me.

I look at Justin and he shrugs again "Relationship drama,’’ he tells me before walking away from me. I could be stubborn and go to my house. I don’t need to answer him and frankly, I don’t like his demanding tone.

You know you want to.

My wolf points out.

I want to go with him.

I want to hold him.

I want him to forgive me.

I walk into the house, unsure of what he has planned. I can’t even tell what is going on in his head.

Fuck.

The hallway is dark, but the minute I get into the living room, the bright light kicks in. he looks at me, content that I came into his house.

I look around, unsure of what to say, or what to do. I stand by the corner. He is watching me; his eyes are piercing. The kind of stare that gives me chills.

"I am sorry Blue. I hate that I lied to you.’’ I start with another apology. I can’t say sorry enough. I wish he would just forgive.

He remains quiet. I pick at my fingernails. A habit that I have when I am nervous. I am very nervous right now because I want things to go back to the way they were. I want him to be excited to see me. I want him to want to take me out on a date. I want him to want to get to know me again.

’’My wolf was just so eager. My wolf kept pushing and prodding. I had the self-control of an ant. I was weak and I am sorry.’’

At this point, I am rambling. Anything that will get him to forgive me. I will do anything that will make him understand that this was out of my control. I am an omega, we are weak.

He exhales and then runs his hands through his luscious hair. My eyes stay fixed to his hands, the veins protruding out of them. Fuck, I am having sexual thoughts again. In the middle of a fucking apology.

He takes a step towards me but doesn’t get any closer.

"What if I tell you that there is a way that all would be forgiven?’’ he asks. I nod my head immediately because that is all I want.

"What do I have to do?

He smiles. this is the first time I have seen this kind of smile on his face. There is mischief mixed with excitement. I don’t know if I should be scared or excited. He moves closer and then grabs my hand in his. I missed his touch so much. The butterflies dance around my tummy. My wolf dances excitedly as he leads me into a room.

His room.

He lets go of me and closes the door behind him. I look around the room. This is the first time he has brought me here. His bed is made, there are a few clothes on a chair but everything else is spik and span.

In a split second, he walks over to me, pinning me to the wall. My heart thuds against my chest. I don’t know what is happening but if it means he is going to forgive me, then I will take it wholeheartedly.

"I want to make you feel as good as he did.’’ He breathes into my ear. His eyes never straying away from me.

I gulp from the shock of his words. "I want to do everything he did. I want to watch you as you enjoy it." he grabs my waist around his hands and slides down to his knees. His eyes are still on mine.

What is happening?

Chapter 202: The ball is in his court

Blue.

I don’t know why I am doing this.

I was never really upset. Yeah, I was a little hurt when he told me but I didn’t even have time to think about everything he said. My wolf had its own plans. It roped them all to a dream. I knew it was real—the dream. I knew when the pull happened. Having magic flowing through my veins just makes me sense things. I have never given my wolf the control he took last night. I couldn’t stop the dream because I liked everything that was happening. I liked that I was with them. I wanted it to happen in reality.

I don’t fully understand everything that is happening but I already have a sense of it all. So I have two mates. Both Rex and Gyles. It shouldn’t make sense but it feels so damned right that I am about to lose my mind.

After Rex told me everything, I told him that I needed some time to think about everything. That I needed some answers and he told me to take as much time as I needed. I know it wasn’t the best thing to leave him when I know he already felt bad but he caused it all. He should have told me about everything as he was feeling all the things he was feeling. He kept me in the dark, I had no clue and he was enjoying Gyles all to himself.

Fuck, you see what is happening to me.

I don’t even know why I have all these thoughts in my head. I have never in my whole life been the jealous type. I am not even jealous that they were together, I am jealous that they were without me.

I have been thinking about Gyles a lot more. He has been stuck in my mind and I haven’t even touched him. you have to touch your mate to know. Like you will feel things but you have to touch them to be sure. I am already sure, even though I haven’t touched him. the kiss in the dream doesn’t count because it all happened in our minds. I connected us—or should I say, my wolf connected us to a dream mind link. Usually mind links happen when you are awake but with my magic, I made it happen.

They are both confused.

They don’t understand the whole thing and I don’t blame them. I have been a wolf for a couple of months. I have always felt my wolf but it was never given the chance to wake up. Ever since I accepted him; I feel complete. That was the first step to becoming who I am but from what I gathered about Gyles. He has a lot going on.

He was a wolf that didn’t know and then he got turned into a vampire—which will make him the first hybrid to ever exist, even though he has been in a sleep state for a couple of hundred years. Now that he is awake, he should explore the Lycan side of himself. When I met him, I felt his wolf’s scent. The scent was so strong. The desperation to come out must be massive.

The dream with them just showed me that I want them both. Rex Is here in my room and somehow it feels like there is something missing. I don’t just want them, I want them together. this thing between us doesn’t exclude anyone. I wanted to take things slow, get to know Rex better but the moon goddess has a bigger plan for us. Apparently, there is no time to take things slow.

"Blue,’’ Rex stutters nervously as I reach for the button of his jeans. I am on my knees, desperate to get even with Gyles. I know this must look stupid but the Alpha in me just needs this control. I need him to know that I don’t plan on letting him go. Rex thinks this thing has him in the middle. He thinks we will be fighting for him but that is now how it is. We are all in this together.

"You can stop me, just tell me no,’’ I look up at him. He rests his head back on the wall and his hand slips away from mine. he doesn’t want to stop this. I don’t want to either.

I unbutton his jeans and he gasps loudly as I slip my hands into his pants. It is warm to my touch, like fire to ice.

Do not stop.

My wolf encourages me. I pull his pants down and reveal his red Spiderman boxers. He covers his face with his hands but I want him to look at me. "Look at me,’’ I command him. His hands drop from his face and to his sides "Look at me as I do this,’’ I pull his boxers down and he opens his eyes wide. His cheeks are red but he is not shying away from me. I look at his dick, mine throbs in my pants. I want a lot more than I know I can have. I want to take him right here in this room. I want to claim him as mine. suddenly I want to fast-track the process. I want to have them both. I grab his dick, giving it slight strokes. My eyes never waver from him, the expression on his face is driving me insane. I like how he looks when I pleasure him. I feel his dick get harder and that gives me the push to do what I have been craving. I have had a lot of sex in my life. I have always been on the receiving end of oral sex but with him, I want to do this. I want to share this moment with him.

I want to make him cum.

I take him in my mouth and he screams out loud from my action. that doesn’t stop me, I want to keep going. I love the way he tastes. He grabs my hair in between his fingers and that urges me to go faster—so I do that. Moving my head up and down as I take all of him into my mouth. I keep going even as he shakes as he tr5ies to stay up. I like his reaction a lot more than I thought I would. We go at it for a couple of minutes, a couple of minutes of beautiful sounds that will never leave my mind. I keep sucking him off until he stiffens against me and releases into my mouth. I don’t mind swallowing because it is a part of him and with the way, I feel about him right now, swallowing his cum is not the grossest thing. Once I am done, I get off the floor and to his eye level. He is panting against the wall; his eyes are closed. I can’t help but look at the rise and fall of his chest. I can’t help but feel some sort of accomplishment. I like that he reacted that way. Which just proves everything I already knew.

"Did that make you feel better?’’ he asks slowly opening his eyes.

His breath is heavy, sounds almost like he just ran a marathon or something "Very much so,’’ I smile and wink. This makes him blush. He can’t possibly be shy after what we just did.

"Do you forgive me?’’ he asks. I was never upset with him. There was nothing that needed forgiveness.

"Don’t keep things from me again.’’

He nods his head immediately. the fact that he was so persistent to tell me about it just shows that he really didn’t mean to. It tells me that he is an honest person and I can trust him. getting to know Rex will come along the line. I want to get to know the two of them. We have to have a discussion on how this will work.

"Is Gyles okay about this whole two mate’s thing?’’

He shakes his head "He is kind of indifferent about everything. He just wants to be with me. doesn’t want to accept that we are mates,’’ he shrugs like they have had a discussion about it.

I pick up his underwear and he wears it over his legs immediately "Just you?’’ I ask.

That dream we had was real. Whatever we did, we wanted it. yeah, my wolf was in control but Gyles was present. He liked kissing me. there is no doubt about it. maybe he is in denial right now but he must feel something for me—just the same way he feels things for Rex.

’’Do you think he feels something for you?’’ he has this hopeful expression on his face. Like he has thought about it and he wants it more than anything.

"can you set a meeting with him. all three of us?’’ I ask in hopes that he will agree to this. I know this might look suspicious. I haven’t told him anything but I am pretty sure that I want them both.

I know Rex does.

So, the ball is in Gyles’s court.

Chapter 203: The dreams.

Beau.

"Did you have the dream?’’ Alby asks me with a smile on his face. I haven’t been to Alby’s house in a while. Knowing that he can calm down and not worry too much about anything has been easy on him. it even shows on his face.

Stress has a way of showing.

"What dream?’’ I ask him.

I didn’t actually come here to talk about me. I came here to ask him about Rex and his situation. I mean, that is what I am calling it. a situation because I can’t even fathom how this even happened in the first place. It seems ridiculous that the deities would pair him with Gyles and Blue. Two strong Alpha’s. they will eat him alive.

"The dream with your heirs,’’ he breathes.

My attention spikes because just thoughts of my children would have me paying attention. I have dreamt of those kids. I have craved them so much that every time I look at Alanis, I imagine him pregnant. I know guys can’t have kids but I don’t know how this will work. How we will have those kids.

The one thing I never even knew I needed but have suddenly come to demand.

"I see you have," he smiles like he is revealing some sort of big secret. I close my eyes for a second. The fact that he just mentioned it means that it is real. We will really have those kids.

"But that is not why you are here, you seek information on Rex,’’ he breathes out so calmly. I don’t want him to change the topic. I don’t want him to talk about anything else but my babies "Tell me how it will be possible, I need to know,’’ I beg with so much desperation that I didn’t even know I had.

He smiles "When the time is right, you will know all you need to know.’’

I should be upset but I am not. The fact that he mentioned it means it will come to pass. I can’t wait for my family to be complete. I can’t wait to have a happy life with Lanis.

"I need to know how it is possible. I have never heard of anyone having two mates." I bring up the real reason why I came to his house. Rex needs some guidance before he messes his relationship with those guys. He was already sneaking around with one. Gyles is not in the place to get his heartbroken. Cassius messed him up—granted, it was unintentional. he died on the guy and now he is messed up. No matter how strong he acts. I know he is struggling and now I have to add a romance between two guys. I don’t know if he will be able to handle it. if It is too much for him, he might end up rejecting them. I don’t want his story to end up badly, so I have to help in any way that I can.

"Nothing is impossible,’’ he smiles and then leads me into the living room. I sit down on the couch opposite his and he looks at me "Just because they are the first that it would happen to doesn’t mean they won’t be a success story, just look at you and Alanis. You paved the way for the unity and best believe there will be more.’’

It started with me and Alanis and then Darrien and Jabi. He has a point and I want to believe him but I still don’t know how this will work.

"think about this way, if there were two of Alanis, would you be able to pick one?’’ he asks me, he is still smiling. It almost seems like this is intriguing to him. I get that he is one of the first elders to witness this but at the end of the day, he shouldn’t be too happy about it.

If I had to choose between two of Alanis, I wouldn’t be able to.

"There can’t be two of the same people,’’ I interject because Blue and Gyles are different people. There is nothing similar between them, so his point is moot.

"I am trying to tell you that the heart wants what it wants and right now, Rex’s heart wants both of those boys,’’ he tells me, he is trying to get me to see things in his own light but how do I do that. This whole thing is just problematic for the three people involved. Is it even possible to love two people the same way? I can’t imagine loving someone as much as I love Alanis.

"Love knows no bound. The heart is big enough to be shared.’’

"Shared, yes but an equal share. Never. Even parents usually love one child more than the other. It is not possible to love people equally."

He smiles "So you will love one of your children more than the other?’’

I get shivers as he mentions them again. He seems to be teasing me with that but I am almost sure that he doesn’t plan on telling me how this will happen. He wants me to be surprised—or worse, he wants me to figure it out on my own. I plan on having those children. The mix of me and Lanis. I want it so bad, that the eagerness is killing me.

"This is not about me,’’ I breathe out. He is telling me that this thing between them will work. This is him basically assuring me and I guess I have to take it.

"Gyles has a lot of unanswered questions about his past, will it affect his mating?’’ I ask because I don’t want to hurt the guy any further. His heart is fragile and all this might just crush it.

Especially if this is not what they are all saying it is. If Gyles is not his mate and he ends up falling in love with Rex, he will get hurt.

There is something about Gyles that I feel protective towards. I don’t know yet but I plan on watching out for him. maybe just the fact that he is so alone, maybe it is the fact that he loved someone like Cassius. That guy was a monster. I am sure just knowing that he loved Cassius must be killing him.

Whatever the reason is doesn’t matter. I just need to make sure he is okay.

"This will help him. you have to trust the process. This is not a mistake Beau. There is a reason for this. there is always a reason for everything.’’

I sigh loudly because, at the end of the day, he is right. They have to figure this out on their own and when they are ready. They will do things properly. I can’t push them into this, maybe I can be the nudge in the right direction but they have to come together on their own.

They have to do this on their own.

"Okay, so I just came here today to find out if it was possible and I guess you gave me all the answers I need."

He nods "I gave you more than you needed."

His response is vague but deep down I know what he is talking about. He is talking about the dreams again. My babies. I don’t know what he wants me to do but I think he wants me to figure it out on my own. I don’t know how this will happen; I don’t know how I will father a child with Lanis but I want to make those dreams a reality. I want it so badly.

I stand up from the couch and he does the same thing.

"Thank you, Alby,’’ I manage with a faint smile.

He follows me out the door and he stops in front of it "Just remember, all the answers you need are in your heart,’’ he places his hand on his chest "Maybe you should spend more time in your dreams. Those seem to help you,’’ he winks and with that, he closes the door on my face without any other word.

I have no fucking clue what he just said.

I don’t know what he wants me to do but it seems like he thinks I will figure it out on my own. Almost like I am supposed to.

I walk back to my house and to my room, Lanis is on the bed. He is dressed in a pair of shorts and a shirt. He doesn’t even wear his clothes anymore and don’t I love it so much. He looks up from the hardcover book in his grip and smiles "Alby mentioned them,’’ I tell him immediately.

He furrows his brows in confusion and it only takes a second for him to understand what I am talking about. We have both been stuck on thoughts of them. We are both eager and desperate. Most people wouldn’t be ready for kids, they would want to wait but all we have been able to think about are those kids.

That is all we want.

"What did he say?’’ he breathes out and it sounds like relief.

I walk over to the bed and he sits up, welcoming me into his arms. I don’t know what we have to do but I want to do my best. I want to bring those kids into this world. I want them to be a part of my life.

Chapter 204: Let me help you

Gyles.

"You are the most selfish person I have ever seen. I tell you everything and you still blame me for killing him,’’ the man shouts—my supposed father. The person that locked me up in a basement. Has been keeping me prisoner for God knows how long. I am weak, I feel like a corpse and he is talking to me like I have the energy to pity his story.

"I don’t care about you,’’ I tell him honestly.

He runs his hands through his hair in disbelief. He expects me to just welcome him with open arms. Yeah, he said I am his son and that might be true but all my life, I was told that my father abandoned me and I just can’t take his word for anything. I knew the wolves were going to attack. We were prepared for it. father always told us that if the time came, we had to all fight together, as a family. That is why I had to let Roger go. I made a promise that I had to keep and now, this man that is claiming to be my father just wants me to believe him and forget everything I have always known.

I can’t just forgive him for killing the only father I have ever known. I don’t want to know about his past. I don’t want to know about being a wolf.

"You will never leave this basement. At least until you come back to your senses,’’ he walks closer to me.

"I will never be a wolf. I will never be one of you,’’ I seethe out those words and they are from the bottom of my heart. I won’t just accept them this way. They could have taken me without killing anyone. They fought fire with fire and I am not even saying I believe him. I don’t even know what I believe anymore.

"I will show you everything. I will feed you with the memories I took from your godfather. My best friend betrayed me with your father. I will show you everything since you choose to be blind to my honesty." He grabs my head and I close my eyes because I don’t want to see what he has to show me.

It is too late because I already challenged him and there is no going back. the memories flood my mind. The killings, the conversations, the plans. Everything that he said he would show me and no matter how hard I try to push him out, he just goes deeper. He pushes into my mind and evades my privacy.

I open my eyes again. This is the second night in a row that I have been unable to sleep. This time is worse because I wasn’t with Blue and Gyles. I was in a world that I don’t even want to remember. I don’t know all the things that happened to me in that basement. I only remember the bits and pieces but as each day goes by, I get another memory. My heart thuds against my chest as I take deep breaths to try and forget it all but no matter how hard I try, they are engraved in my mind.

"Fuck,’’ I run my hands through my hair as I stand up from the bed. It is late at night. Everyone is probably asleep. Beau and his people kinda sleep early in the community. So if I have to leave my room, I have to tiptoe around the house. Right now, I am thirsty. I haven’t been drinking a lot of blood ever since Rex. in fact, I haven’t had any. Maybe that is what woke my wolf up. I mean when I stopped drinking blood, he started talking a lot. It is weird that I keep saying my wolf.

Cause I am yours.

My wolf pipes up for the first time today. He has been awfully quiet all day.

I miss them.

I miss them too.

Admitting that to myself doesn’t hurt. I miss Rex and surprisingly, I miss Blue too—even though I don’t know the guy. That dream has been haunting me. I have been craving his touch. Wanting something from him—anything.

I walk out of my room quietly and go into the kitchen. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and walk out of the house. I need fresh air right now to clear my thoughts. I have been wanting to remember what happened in that basement but now I am not so sure anymore. It feels like the memories will just bring pain. I don’t know how I feel about that anymore. I walk all the way to the field and then I gulp down the whole bottle of water and lie down on the grass. The crescent moon is out. It looks like it is about to be full. A full moon.

My wolf screams to come out. I can feel him trying to but I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to give him what he wants.

I hear footsteps that make me get up immediately. I look at the person and my heart calms down a bit.

"It is just me,’’ he raises his hands up in surrender.

No matter what he says, he crept up on me. what are the odds that Blue would be outside late at night at the same time as me? I don’t know how I feel about that "I swear I didn’t come out here because I knew you were here,’’ he says.

"Are you reading my mind?’’ I ask him because I have to. I did it with Rex, so he could be doing the same thing.

He smiles, it warms my heart "Sadly, I don’t have that ability but I can sense things. I sense a lot from you right now,’’ he confesses and I like his honesty.

I sit back down on the grass and he walks even closer "Do you mind if I sit down next to you?’’ I look at him with a raised brow. I don’t know what he is doing or why he wants to sit down next to me but I actually don’t mind. My wolf is already excited, so why not give him what he wants.

"Sure,’’

He obeys and I watch him as he sits a couple of inches away from me. I can see him make a conscious effort not to touch me. if I move slightly, our shoulders would touch. Would I mind that?

No, you won’t.

"What do you sense?’’ I ask nervously. Maybe this is just me striking up a conversation, or actually wanting to talk to him because it is him. I don’t know but this is a good distraction.

"I sense your wolf. He is crying to come out,’’ he tells me.

I already know that.

Then let me out.

My wolf pleads.

"I don’t know how to. I don’t know what to do,’’ I confess because I might as well tell someone. This is not about Blue is easy to confide in. this is not about the fact that he is my mate. This is not about any of that. He is here and that is why I am telling him.

"Do you want me to help?’’ he asks. I sense the eagerness in his tone. He wants to do this with me or should I say—for me.

"I don’t think that is a good idea,’’ I pipe in knowing that Rex might not like this. I don’t even know if things are cool with them. I just wish he would talk to me but I have also been avoiding him.

"Rex told me everything,’’ he looks at me with a guilty expression on his face. I was thinking about rex and he brought him up.

"Are you sure you are not reading my mind?’’ I have to ask because now that it is happening to me, it doesn’t feel nice.

He laughs "I swear I am not,’’ the smile remains on his face "I just feel a lot from you.’’ He adds. I don’t know how I feel about that. His words are doing things to me. things that I don’t want to like but like a lot.

"Okay,’’ I give him a one-word answer.

He nods "So, can I be of service?’’ he repeats.

"Will rex be okay with that?’’ I ask because I need to make sure he wouldn’t be pissed.

"Do you know what is happening between us?’’

I furrow my brows.

"You had that dream last night, didn’t you?’’

I open my eyes wide. I don’t know what to say. if he was in that dream, then he remembered all the things we did. He knows how I really feel about him.

Fuck.

"Don’t overthink this. there is no pressure G." He reaches for me but I move away so fast that he retracts his hand away immediately.

"G?’’ I manage.

He smiles but doesn’t try to touch me again. "You don’t have to panic. There is no pressure here. I just wanted you to know that Rex wouldn’t be upset about this. in fact, he would want this."

I don’t know what to say.

’’Just say yes,’’ he reads my mind—senses my mind.

I have no option.

I need someone to help me and I like being around Blue. He makes me feel alive. He makes me feel happy.

My mate.

"Okay,’’ I agree because that is the only answer.

Chapter 205: Desperate for you

Blue.

It was just my luck.

I came out for a stroll and then he was just there. Lying down on the grass. At first, I wanted to leave him. Rex was already going to organize a meeting. I have been thinking of a way to get some alone time with him. I want to get him on board because I need him to make this complete.

At first, I was so sure that Rex was the one for me until I met Gyles. Now I want them both. I haven’t even touched him. the only confirmation that I need to know. I am scared to, because feeling your mate once is explosive and now, I have to feel it twice.

He agreed to let me help him. maybe I did this for my own selfish reasons. Helping him come into his wolf would give me a chance to be with him. if I spend some time with him, he will feel this thing. He is in denial right now. I see it in the way he looks at me. I know that he feels this thing but he doesn’t want to admit it. I will get him there; I will show him that he could open up to me.

"When do you want to start?’’ I ask him with a smile.

He looks at me with hesitation, I can sense that he is already regretting agreeing to this but I will not give him a chance to change his mind "Is tomorrow good for you. Just think about all the haunting you would be able to do after this is over,’’ I am trying to entice him.

He raises a brow "Do I look like I would like haunting?’’ he smiles faintly.

I chuckle. He actually looks like he would love it. I sense this dominance from him. the power to lead. He might act like this is of no interest to him. I can see right through him but I will just acrt like I can’t. I don’t want to scare him off.

"Okay maybe not hunting. How about just the strength that comes with it."

"I have strength,’’ he smiles.

He is challenging me and I like it. I like him a lot.

"Oh, so you don’t need this?’’ I ask him, teasing. I know he wants my help so I know he wouldn’t turn it down.

"Oh, I don’t mind and besides, you can’t go back on your word, you already said you would help me.’’

I can’t help but smile because the conversation is light and easy. Just the way it is with Rex. how could my heart respond to two guys at the same time? How is this happy and why does it feel so easy?

"I should go back in,’’ he breathes out.

I look away from him because I have to get used to separating from him. I wish he would come back with me to my room. I wish he would sleep next to me but I know that is too much to ask, and too soon.

"Why were you out here?" I ask wanting to know what made him feel the need to come out alone at night. I am not saying he can’t handle himself but I would love to be his company whenever he feels the need to be out at night.

"Had a nightmare,’’ he confides.

"Do you want to talk about it?’’ I wish he would share this with me but I also know that it is too soon ot expect that.

"It’s nothing serious, I am sure you’ve heard my story."

I nod, he continues "So you know that I am kind of messed up. There are things I don’t remember. Things that keep haunting me.’’

His past.

The past that I wish he would let go of. There is a reason why he was asleep for so long. There is a reason why he woke up now and maybe Cassius might have been the key to his lock but it all ends with us. Me, him and Rex. I don’t want him to think about the past but it feels like it is bugging him. if he doesn’t remember, he will keep having those dreams.

"Do you want to forget it all?’’ I ask him. I can help him forget; I have a spell. My magic would wipe it out immediately.

He raises a brow in confusion, I explain "I have my ways,’’ I wink at him and his cheeks redden.

"I don’t want to forget.’’

I kind of knew he would say that "I want to remember; I want to understand why this happened to me. I want to know what happened to the pack. where they are now,’’

"Memories come when you are ready. The fact that you don’t remember means you are the one that is blocking it all out. You are not ready to know the truth.’’

He nods because deep down, he knows that it is true "So why don’t you take things one step at a time. They will all come when the time is right.’’

He smiles, my heart thuds in my chest. I want to reach out and touch him. I want to kiss him but I know this is all too sudden and I am not ready to push him away when I just got a chance to be close to him. we both stand up from the grass and he walks by my side slowly.

"Why is your hair so long?’’ he asks with a smile.

I shrug "It is part of my macho man act,’’ I inform him jokingly.

This gets a laugh out of him. I have made him laugh twice today. This feels like an accomplishment. I want to always see a smile on his face, I want to bring him joy. I want to be everything for him.

"Are you serious?’’ he asks trying to control his laughter.

I shake my head "I come from a coven. This is how we keep our hair,’’ I tell him the real reason.

He stops laughing but there is still an amused expression on his face. "I heard about you. How does it feel to not know who you really are?’’

I think me and Gyles are similar—or rather, should I say we have similar situations. He is a hybrid and I am also one. My mother is a witch and just like him, I found out about my werewolf side recently. We have so much in common that I feel like I can help him. growing up, I always felt my wolf. Just like him, my wolf was stuck inside me. there was no awakening until I had grown and come of age. It was a lot for me to handle, I would have dreams. It was the scariest time of my life. My mother didn’t want to tell me anything. she wanted to keep it from me forever. She thought her magic would be able to suppress it but I guess my wolf was stronger than she thought.

At the end of it all, I became who I was supposed to be. Even till now, I have an identity crisis. Sometimes, I feel lost. I feel confused. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.

"I know who I am,’’ I tell him blatantly.

He smiles "and who is that?’’ he asks calmly.

I don’t have to think about it too much. "I am Blue, I am your mate.’’ This is the only identity I want to go with. This is the one identity that will make me happy.

He opens his eyes wide, probably shocked that I am so direct "You don’t have to say anything. I am just letting you know."

The shock expression wipes out of his face and is replaced by the smile "What about Rex?’’ he asks.

I smile "Oh we can’t forget that. He is just as important to me as you.’’

He takes a deep breath "What if you are wrong about this? what if this is just a fluke in the mating system.’’

This is his doubt playing in, just like I knew it would. It will take time for Gyles to come to term with all this and there is no rush. There is no pressure to get him to us. As long as he doesn’t reject us.

"It is never wrong; I am so sure about this.’’ I assure him. the way my heart is responding to him just tells me everything I need to know. I know he feels this too. I can sense it and it is coming off very strong from him.

"Okay,’’ he breathes out into the night.

We get to the front of his house. The fact that he and Rex are under the same roof makes me feel better leaving him. there is no way his wolf wouldn’t feel him. as long as he has one of us, it will be okay.

"So, I will come look for you tomorrow,’’ I say with hesitation.

I don’t want to leave him.

He nods "Thanks Blue,’’ he says my name. I love the way it sounds. I love him so much that it hurts.

I watch him walk into the house and my wolf cries silently. Desperate to be with him. desperate to touch him.