Ch. 216..220: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 216-220

Chapter 216: You never forget

Gyles.

I know now that I hate movies.

Or maybe the loud sounds from the speakers and the flashing lights are not for me. I escape from the theatre, glad that they didn’t notice. I got flashbacks. Things I don’t want to remember and somehow the movie became a trigger.

The minute I walk out of the darkness and to the bright light outside, I feel relief wash me.

You need to remember.

Stop pushing the memories out.

My wolf shouts to me. My heart races against my chest because, for the first time since I acknowledged him, his voice is very loud. I run out, in search of the front door. I keep running until I get outside the house. I don’t know what is happening but I sense anger coming from my wolf. He is upset with me right now and I don’t know what I have done.

You don’t want to accept everything.

He shouts so loud, I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I keep running until the cold air hits me. I don’t stop running until I am out of the parking lot and in the street. There are cars everywhere. I close my eyes and a piece of memory surfaces.

"I am not a wolf,’’ I shout to the man that calls himself my father.

He sighs "You will always be a wolf. No matter how long you deny this. There will always be that part of you that is Lycan. They might have made you who you are today but you will always be missing a crucial part of you.’’

I shake my head in refusal.

He has been trying to convince me. Telling me who the fuck I am when I know who I am. They want me to be someone I am not. They want to control me.

"I will never accept this. You have kept me in here for years, you are trying to decide my fate but I will not accept this. I will not accept you.’’

He runs his hands through his hair "You are not a prisoner. You are my son. The next Alpha to the pack. You have to accept this side of you.’’

From the first time I met him, I always knew he was desperate for more. He wanted me to accept his way. He needs me to accept him but I don’t have anything to lose. I don’t have to accept this.

"It feels like I am a prisoner. I haven’t seen sunlight in God knows how long,’’ I recede.

This is how it has been. I count the days in my head but I don’t know when the night ends and a new day begins. He hasn’t given me a reason why I am still in this room. I have tried to escape but there is just no way out of here.

"Come on,’’ he says finally. Maybe I have finally gotten through to him.

I stand up from the bed in a place that has become my room. The prison cell that he is trying to make homely.

"Are you letting me out?’’ I ask with excitement. The depth of how I feel right now is encompassing. Being locked for years is a punishment that no one should ever have to go through. Maybe If I just accept him, maybe he will let me go.

Once we walk out of the metal door of the room, I see a hallway. It is very dark but he climbs up the stairs like he knows his way around. He turns to me slowly, with a smile on his face "I will show you where you are. Prove to you that you mean the world to me," he smiles, almost like he expects a thank you from me. I should be grateful that he is doing this for me.

I know he is just going to lock me back in after everything.

I will not give in to him.

Once we reach the last step on the stairs, he pushes the door open and the rays of sunlight hit me immediately from the windows in the room. "This is my house...your house,’’ he explains as I look around the room that leads into the basement—where he kept me. We walk out of the room and to another hallway, this time, I count a total of four doors. Each of them a mystery to me as the next.

"I wish things didn’t have to be this way. I wish I watched you grow into the man you have become. Your mother would have been so proud.’’

For the first time since I met this man, this is the first time he is talking about her—apart from that memory he shared with me. The one where she gave birth to me. The only memory I have of her. I know he said she is not alive but I feel more of a connection to her than him. Maybe, I am not forthcoming towards him but you can’t blame me. He has me locked up like a prisoner.

He killed my family.

My real family.

"Are you trying to make me listen to you, is this your way?’’

He sighs loudly. He can tell that I am being stubborn. I don’t have anything else to live for—except Rogers. I am sure he has grown a lot. He must miss me so much. I don’t even know how he is coping. I might be here but my heart is with him, my heart is only focused on the day we will be reunited. I know he is a fighter, I know he is strong. He will never give up. There is no one I believe in more than him. I know how good a person he is. I know that he will stay strong and wait for me. No matter how long it takes. I plan on getting back to him.

We finally walk out of the house and I feel the sunlight on my skin. There is this burning sensation that comes with the sun hitting a vampire’s skin. It is not dangerous to us and it makes us feel alive. right now, I feel the most out of this experience because it has been so long. There are people outside and the minute they see us, their attention shifts to us. I look away because I don’t know these people but it feels like they know me and I feel judgment coming from them. The only person I have seen in all this while is him.

"Ignore them, come with me," he tells me as we pass them. A couple of them greet him and he returns their greetings with smiles.

"You might not feel like this is your home but I know with time, everything will fall to place,’’ he tells me as I continue to follow him. I know that this will never be a home to me. "I will never belong here,’’ I tell him blatantly.

The sooner he comes to terms with all this, the better.

He sighs "Because I killed your family?’’ he asks. That is not the only reason, but I don’t argue with him. I don’t tell him that the man that has my heart is out there alone—even though I promised to always be by his side. I don’t tell him all the things I feel because he is not important to me.

Whatever he feels about me is not reciprocated.

I will never warm up to him.

We keep walking until we get to another house. This one is smaller than the one he kept me in. "This is her house. A little hut that no one comes to anymore. It is sacred because of all that happened,’’ he explains to me as we walk into the door.

I know who he is talking about before we enter the house. My mother. Like I said earlier, I feel a connection to her and she is not even alive. Once we walk into the room, I feel a familiar scent. It is so strong that it takes over me completely.

"No matter how long it is, she will always live on in these walls,’’ he closes his eyes and I watch him as he takes a deep breath "My one true love,’’ he breathes out those words and then opens his eyes. They are golden and bright.

I feel his pain, even though I shouldn’t.

He lost the love of his life.

The love of my life is all alone.

"You took me away from him,’’ I confess. This is the first time I am showing sincerity in front of him. He opens his eyes wide—there is confusion sprawled on his face.

"You took me away from my one true love," I add. I want him to see the bigger picture, he got his revenge for everything that happened to him, so why am I being punished?

I don’t deserve this.

I need to be with Roger.

He needs me.

Chapter 217: Help me forget

Blue.

I look for him in all the bathrooms and you have to understand that it takes a lot of time because the mall is freaking huge. The panic starts to show as I search around. Completely worried about him. I didn’t like the scent I got from him when he left. I am already starting to think the worst.

What if something happened to him?

What if his wolf came out?

That will be a good thing.

My wolf tells me. I shake my head because it won’t be good if he came out in public. I want him to explore the parts of him that he is denying but I don’t want it to happen like this.

Everywhere is quiet. I haven’t heard anything from anyone about a wolf, so that is something. I close my eyes because this is the only time I would use my powers. This is the only time I will accept the magic part of me. Ever since I found out that my mother lied to me. I have been trying to deny the parts of me that are a part warlock. I hate that I lived my life in the dark.

I hate the magic inside me. I hate the powers that come with the magic. I vowed to never use them again. When I got the pack, Beau and his family needed me but I didn’t summon my powers. I didn’t acknowledge all the things that I could do because I had made a promise to myself but now, at this moment, as my heart races against my chest, I know I have to break that promise. I have to find him and make sure he is okay.

I am at the entrance of the mall. People pass by but right now, I don’t give a fuck. My major concern is finding him. Once my eyes are closed, I cast the spell in my mind. The one that lets me see everything and I don’t mean all the things that are visible to the naked eyes. The one that makes me see what the mere human can’t see. Once I have a semblance of what I am searching for, I find it. No matter what it is? No matter who it is.

Even if that person doesn’t want to be found. I feel him instantly. He doesn’t want to be found. The fear in his scent is the first thing I pick up. There is a trail out of the mall, out of the parking lot. I follow the trail and his scent until I see him, crouched behind a parked car in a gas station. My heart stops for a second because there is something wrong.

His pain travels to me and it feels like a hit in my chest. I don’t mind taking away all his pain but there is more to what is happening to him.

In a rush, I open my eyes and run as fast as I can—following the trail in my head until I get to the gas station. I see the truck and I know he is behind it before I even get there. Without hesitation, I run over to the car and I see him crouched over, just like in my head. His hands are over his head and he is shaking. I don’t want to scare him because he seems pretty terrified.

"G?’’ I call him.

He doesn’t answer me, so I take a step closer to him. I go on my knees to his level, I reach for him and this time, he looks up. His eyes are a bright golden. I know what this is immediately. This is his wolf. This is the first time in the two weeks that I have seen a piece of his wolf. I want to be excited but I also know that this is not the time. He looks like he is in pain. Something else is going on in his head and I want to help him. I want to take all the pain from him. His eyes remain on mine and I watch him as tears fall from his face.

I want to touch him but I am scared he will react badly. "Gyles, what is wrong?’’ I use words instead.

He shakes his head and looks away from me, slowly, his lips part open "I don’t want to remember. Help me forget,’’ he cries and before I know what is happening. He is in my arms. This is the first time this has happened. I have thought about this moment and I hate that it had to happen when he is in a state of vulnerability. My body reacts to this even though I wish it would just take a pause on his touch. My wolf screams so loud it is deafening. The touch that I have been craving comes out while I try to comfort him—try to make him feel better. My life flashes right before my eyes. The same way it did with Rex. I see our future. The one we could have and it warms my heart. I know he feels it too because I feel him stiffen against me. He is still trembling and I have regrets of bombarding him with everything at once.

He pushes me off him and I watch him as he falls to the ground.

His eyes are still golden.

"Get away from me,’’ he shouts so loud that the regrets intensify.

This is not how it is supposed to go. He is supposed to feel the same things I feel. He is supposed to want me as much as I want him.

"G,’’ I call him desperate for acceptance.

"Don’t call me that,’’ he shouts so loud that the tone breaks my heart.

He moves away from me as I try to reach out to him. I want to calm him down because I don’t even know what is going on inside him. Something happened before I came here and I feel him. It has something to do with his past. He wants to forget whatever it is.

I want him to remember.

But not right now.

I need to get him home. I need to take care of him while he is hurting. Right now, that is my only concern. He is still watching me, almost like he is warding me off him. He doesn’t want me to touch him again. I know that the touch could be overwhelming—especially for people that are not accepting of their mates.

"I am not here to hurt you, Gyles, please let me help,’’ I beg him desperately.

He shakes his head "Help me forget. I don’t want to remember,’’ he tells me. He is basically telling me that this is the only way he will let me be involved in this. Deep down, he must sense that I can help him. it is in my powers to make people forget things but I don’t want to do that to him. I don’t want to help him forget the most significant part of his memories. He doesn’t want to remember what happened all those years but I know he needs to.

That is the only way he can get the closure that he needs to move on. The past will help him but he is so afraid of it and that is what is hurting him even more.

"I can’t do that,’’ I tell him honestly.

He stands up from the ground and I watch him as he tries to steady himself by using the truck for support "You claim to love me. You claim to be my mate and you won’t even help me when I need you the most.’’

That sentence awakens my wolf.

He needs you the most.

He needs me.

Gyles needs me.

You have to help him.

My wolf pipes up. I don’t want to do this. The smarter part of me knows that this is a bad idea. He can’t forget everything. He needs to embrace those memories. Helping him forget will make me the bad guy. I will be doing this for selfish reasons.

I will be doing this because I am desperate for his acceptance.

Desperate for his love.

But he needs you.

My wolf is being as selfish as I am. We are only thinking about us and not him. He will regret this decision. My eyes stay on him because I don’t have the strength to refuse him. I want to see him happy and he doesn’t look happy right now.

Do this for him.

"Forget it,’’ he wipes the tears from his face and slowly starts to walk away from me "I will never reciprocate those feelings that you harbour.’’

He is manipulating me right now. The fact that I know that he is doing this and still want to help him just shows how madly in love I am with him. I stop him by grabbing his arm. The electricity surges through me.

His eyes dim and become Hazel again.

"I will help you.’’

I hope I don’t regret this.

Chapter 218: He needs to remember

Rex.

The movie ends before I even realize that they didn’t even come back. I shouldn’t have chosen a movie I really wanted to watch. Maybe that was a little selfish of me but it has been a while since I went out for a movie and I have been wanting to watch this movie since forever.

Everyone starts to leave as the lights come on. I grab Blue’s phone from the little space where you keep drinks on the chair and walk out of the theatre. I don’t even know where to begin looking for them and his phone is now in my back pocket.

I walk out of the mall and toss the rest of my popcorn in the trash by the entrance. I walk back to the car and it is parked in the same spot. I wait for about thirty minutes before I see them walk over to the car from the direction of the street. I don’t know what happened but I sense something serious. Blue looks at me immediately and there is regret in his eyes. I feel his worry even though I don’t know what transpired between them.

"Where did you guys go?’’ I ask both of them but all Gyles does is enter the car. Blue stops in front of me and pulls me into his arms.

"Can I just hold you for a second,’’ he whispers into my ear.

My heart melts from the contact. I didn’t even know I needed his hug until this moment. I wrap my arms around his waist "I think I made a mistake,’’ he confesses to me. I try to pull away from him to see his expression.

I don’t know what happened between them but now I can’t help but worry that it must be something major.

"Do you want to talk about it?’’ I look through the window and Gyles’s eyes are closed and his head is resting on the seat. He looks exhausted.

"Can you meet me later in the night? I need to talk to you about something,’’ he tells me. I nod my head and he lets go of me. There is a heaviness in his eyes. I hate that this date turned out this way. In my head, I saw it going in another direction. We all enter the car and I reach out for Gyles. He opens his eyes and there is sadness and pain.

What the fuck is going on?

"Did something happen?’’ I ask him again, in hopes that this time he will answer me. He manages a faint smile. Immediately I know it is fake. He is not being sincere. Why is it so hard to get through to Gyles?

"I just had a slight break down, but it’s all good now,’’ he looks to the front seat where Blue is "He helped me through it, so you don’t have to worry about me." His smile widens, it is almost like they have some sort of secret and to me, it seems like Blue doesn’t want to be involved in whatever it is.

We get to the community and Gyles is the first to leave the car. He doesn’t say a word as he walks into the house. I get down at the same time as Blue.

"What happened?’’ I ask him curiously.

He sighs loudly "I made a promise to him that I don’t want to keep. I don’t know how I am supposed to do that.’’

You know when you ask a question and the person answers the question without really answering the question? That is how it feels right now. Blue is telling me something that I don’t understand.

"What do you mean?’’ I ask him quietly. The night sky is dark, it is almost a full moon. We should be completing our mating process. We should be happy together but somehow everything is going so slowly. I hate that we have to wait. I hate that Gyles is not ready but I can’t be upset with him. This is not his fault. I don’t blame him for wanting to take his time. I just need this to go faster because my wolf is getting impatient and tired of waiting.

"He had a meltdown. I had to look for him,’’ he runs his hands through his hair frustratedly. I watch him intently as he continues "I found him like a couple of blocks away from the mall. I was so worried." He cries.

Blue is the one most affected by this. If Gyles rejects him, he will be rejecting me too. Just thinking about it hurts me to the core. I don’t want to imagine a world where they are not mine.

"He said you helped him through it. That must mean things are sorted out.’’

He shakes his head "He is asking me to help him forget his past. I agreed to it but I don’t want to.’’ he exhales loudly.

Forget what?

"Can you do that?’’

He nods "I have a spell. I can help him forget if he wants to but I don’t think it is a good idea. I don’t want to do it."

"Don’t do it,’’ I tell him blatantly.

There is no debating this. Why does he need to forget? Why would he ask him something so difficult?

"I already told him I would. I don’t think he will ever talk to me if I change my mind.’’

"You can’t be serious about this. This is a big deal Blue. You can’t erase his memory."

He shakes his head "I am not erasing his memory. I will just help him forget the things he doesn’t want to remember.’’

I furrow my brows "What does he want to forget and why?’’

He shrugs "I know it has to do when he was taken. All those years that he lost. I think there is a painful memory that he is blocking out for reasons unknown to me.’’

"You can’t make him forget those things Blue. I know you are at that point where you would do anything to get him but this is not the way to do this. Don’t do this,’’ I tell him. I can’t even believe that he will be thinking about this. There is no debating or questioning. He can’t do this.

"He hates me,’’ he states.

"He doesn’t fucking hate you. He is being selfish and I think that is just the kind of person he is. From all I know about Gyles, I know that he likes to think about himself before anyone else. I know that he feels all the things you feel. He just doesn’t want to accept it. He will come around, it might take some time but he will come around. Right now, his wolf is silent. His vampire side is stronger than his Lycan side. He can’t be controlled.’’

I am trying to convince him—maybe convince both of us that we have to be patient.

"I don’t know what to do,’’ he cries. This is the first time I have seen him so vulnerable. This is the first time he has shown this side to me. I love every second of this moment. I reach for him and cup my palm on his face. He closes his eyes and I watch the rise and fall of his chest. This man is stronger than the three of us combined. He is dealing with a lot right now. I don’t want to know how it feels. I don’t want to be in his shoes but I want to help him through it.

"You should help him remember,’’ I suggest.

If he is getting bits and pieces of the past. The best thing for him right now would be to remember it all at once "Can you do that?’’ I add.

"I can.’’ He tells me hesitantly.

I smile with my hand still cupping his face "Help him remember. Tell him that you are helping him forget and then make him remember.’’

I don’t know if this is the greatest idea but it is the only one I have. It is the only one that seems plausible. He wants to forget so bad when we all know that he needs to remember. That part of him is crucial.

The reason why he is so cold right now must have to do with his past. I know that he will be more accepting of everything once he figures out what happened in that basement.

"I don’t know..."

"You have to do this. That is the only way he will get the closure he needs to move on.’’ I tell him like I am so sure. Gyles might end up hating us but I know he will come around. I know him a lot more than Blue. Deep down, this is what he wants. He is afraid and I see this is how he handles fear—by forgetting.

Maybe all along his subconscious made him forget.

He needs to remember.

Chapter 219: I blame it on the hug

Gyles.

I have been tossing and turning in my room.

I don’t know what to do but now, I am grateful to Blue. I know that I have treated him like shit all this while and that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life because it is only going to get worse. I am not going to accept this. I don’t want this.

Loving someone else.

I don’t even want to love Rex.

You have no choice.

My wolf is angry with me. That is all I feel. The anger boiling as each day passes by. I am the one in control. This is my body and my rules. No one is going to choose what I do with it. Not even the animal inside me.

That is what I call him.

I just want to start a new slate. A new life. I just want to live my life for me without the past. The memories that keep coming up are a hindrance. I don’t know what happened in that community but it feels like it is something bad. The fact that I forgot just makes me think that I don’t want to remember. I don’t want anything that will pull me back to that time.

I know it is too much to ask from him and I also know that this is not something he wants to do. I saw it in his eyes. The fear, the confusion. It will take a toll on him but I can only think about myself and not him and the way he makes me feel.

I didn’t want to admit the way that hug with Blue made me feel. It was even more intense than the first time I touched Rex. There was a pull, so strong that it triggered my wolf badly. That touch will forever stay engraved in my mind. I don’t want to feel this way and the pleasures I used to have are starting to feel like pain. The more I ignore him, the harder it is for me to go on.

I know eventually this will make my wolf weak. Maybe quiet the sucker down.

I can hear you.

I know you can. I can feel you inside me.

Maybe Blue was right all along. He said the reason why I have been unable to summon my wolf is because of me. I am not forthcoming. I don’t want this. I don’t want to be a wolf. I am okay with the way I am now and these people in this community want to change me. They want to make me who I am. That is not what I want.

I don’t think I want to be in this pack. I don’t think I want what they are offering.

Because you are a coward.

I know what he is doing. He is trying to hurt me because that is all I have been doing. I have hurt him numerous times and by the time I shut him out, I will hurt him even more.

I walk over to my room door and my hand stays on the handle. I don’t know what I am doing or why I want to go and see him after everything that happened tonight. I didn’t even say goodnight to any of them. I was too in my heads but now all I want is to see him.

I don’t like this but I just have this longing. I need to talk to him about everything that happened. I need to make sure he is okay with it all.

"This is so stupid. Not a good idea,’’ I try to talk myself out of it.

You know you want to. So why do you keep fighting everything?

He is right about one thing. I want to go see him. This is not about self-control or being controlled. This is something that I want to do. Nothing can stop me.

There we go, listen to your inner self.

The fact that my wolf is louder than ever just shows me how upset he is. I don’t care about him. I don’t care about the ache in his chest. I turn the door handle slowly and the halls are dark. Another night of everyone sleeping early. This is not the life I want. A sedentary controlled life. I keep saying all those things. I keep thinking of how much I want to control my life but here I am, going to his room. Even through all my rubbish thoughts.

Because you want him.

I keep walking in the direction of his room.

My mind has been wavering all night. The memory of my father showing me my mother’s house. My heart wavered from that memory. Made me curious to find out what happened with the pack. I didn’t want to think about it, that is why I want all the memories that have to do them gone. I know it seems selfish that I would want that but I don’t know if I can handle it. I was in that basement for a long time, the same place that had become my home. I went into a sleep state. Sleep states don’t wipe away your memory but somehow, I forgot everything.

"Your mother wanted you for so long, we kept trying. Appeasing to the deities for a child. It took us six years to finally have you. Six years of trying and then my best friend took you away from me."

I shake my head to get the thoughts out. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to hate the only person I knew as a father. The man that supposedly saved me. He was nothing but kind towards me. When I brought Roger home, he welcomed him with open arms. I will not listen to a man that locked me up over the one that let me in.

Cause you are a stubborn motherfucker.

My wolf snaps at me angrily.

I have always been stubborn and I like to think that my stubbornness is what brought me this far. I don’t listen to others, I only listen to myself. My heart races as I get closer to my destination. I don’t know how he will react to seeing me after the night we had. It is official, I am not a fan of movies. Or maybe it’s the movie that we picked. It seemed like Blue didn’t like it either. I could sense how tense he was. Almost like he was nervous.

You were the one that made him that way.

I can’t even think in peace. Maybe I should’ve asked Blue if there is also a way to shut my wolf up completely. Then I will have some peace and quiet.

I will take you down with me. You will not silence me.

I am at the point in my life where the animal inside me is threatening me.

"This is where you are now Gyles,’’ I laugh to myself in the dead of the night. I am slowly losing my mind in this place. The closer I get to him the more my heart trembles in my chest.

Fuck.

I reach the front door and the angst becomes even worse. Here I am in front of the door and unsure of what I will even say when he sees me. I am sorry for acting like a major jerk all night. I am sorry I didn’t say goodnight?

With steady breaths, I knock on the door. At first, I don’t get any response but a couple of seconds later, there are footsteps and this calms my nerves. I thought he would be sleeping. A big part of me hoped he would be asleep. That way, I could avoid having this conversation in the first place.

The door opens revealing a man that has an even bigger build that Blue. The resemblance between the two of them is uncanny. He has talked about his father—Jules, so I am assuming this is his father.

"What do you want?’’ he asks me immediately. His tone is firm and very intimidating.

"Blue,’’ I stutter nervously.

Shit, I just indirectly said I wanted him. That is not what I meant "I uh, want to see Blue.’’ I add because to him, I look like a creep. Who just shows up at someone’s house unannounced?

What do I even want to talk about?

"You’re that vampire," he mutters.

I sigh.

I am that vampire. That is what everyone sees me as. The man that made Cassius mad. I am the reason why a lot of people died. How do I get over that and stay here? How will they fully accept me when I will always be that to him?

"Can I see him?’’ I manage nervously. I don’t even know why I am so nervous. It is not like I even know the man or care about him.

How about the fact that he is your future father in law.

"Shut up,’’ I shout out loud. Jules stops, his eyes wide from the shock of my words "Sorry, not you.’’ I apologize as he walks away.

What the hell am I doing?

I blame it on the hug.

Chapter 220: I can handle all that you give me

Blue.

"There is someone at the door for you,’’ Jules walks into my room without even knocking. I look up from my phone and the last message that my mother left. I don’t know what is going on in the coven because she hasn’t told me anything but it seems like there is something wrong.

Mom has always been clingy. She has always kept me on a tight leash but this is a lot more than she has ever done. All the calls, messages, begging me to come home. I am still upset with her but the love I have for that woman gets on my nerves.

I need you home. This is a 911

Even as I watch Jules leave, I linger on the message because I don’t know how to respond to her. Another message pops up.

Please call me when you get my messages.

I drop my phone on the bed and walk out of the room. I am sure it is Rex and Jules being the person he is probably didn’t let him in. he is a very conservative man. He likes to keep to himself most time. I guess that is why he has survived as lone wolf for so long. His room door closes and I sigh loudly. He is leaving the pack in two days, so that is why he has had a snarky attitude with me. He doesn’t understand why I want to stay, and yeah, I haven’t told him the reason—at this point, I don’t even know why I am hiding it from him.

It’s just that a part of me feels like he wouldn’t understand or support this. Especially with how avoidance and unaccepting Gyles is. I open the door and shock takes over my face.

"Gyles,’’ I manage, shocked that he is the one that is here. After last night, I didn’t think I would see him for like a week. He is very good at avoiding things.

"Were you asleep?’’ he asks nervously.

Why is he nervous?

"No, come in,’’ I move aside to give him space to enter the house. He does that hesitantly. He is in my house, on his own. I don’t know what it means but I can’t help but be excited.

I lead him further into the house until we get to my room. He sighs loudly. I can sense his aura. He is freaking scared.

"You don’t have to be scared of me,’’ I tell him calmly.

He came here on his own. I didn’t force him to come here "Are you doing that thing you usually do?’’ he asks me.

I furrow my brow as I smile slightly "What thing?’’ He walks over to the bed and stands at the edge "You can sit,’’ I tell him.

He shakes his head and then obeys "The thing where you use your powers to read people?’’

My willed sense is not a power that I use. It is not something I can just switch off. It is something that happens on its own.

"I am not using it. I just sense things a lot deeper than others,’’ I explain. We are having a conversation about my magic like that is the most important thing to discuss right now. I don’t know how he feels about today.

Why he is even here in the first place?

"I am sorry,’’ he blurts out loudly at the same time getting off the bed.

I nod.

He runs his hands through his hair and his shirt rides up. I can’t help myself. I am not thinking of anything sexual right now but it is almost a full moon. My wolf is horny and the v line of his waist isn’t helping.

"Why are you sorry?’’ I manage with a cough. I need to get my mind out of the gutter because there is no way he is here to get it down with me.

Fuck, who says get it down?

I don’t even know.

"For being a major jerk. Shit, I didn’t rehearse that. Don’t think I did,’’ he takes a step away from me and walks all the way to the window. The moon is shining brightly.

"It is almost a full moon,’’ he voices out my thoughts.

Connect with him.

My wolf pleads. I have never sensed as much desperation from him as I do at this moment. I don’t blame him. We are both in this together. Both unwanted.

"Why are you here Gyles?’’

I can’t dilly dally and pretend like things aren’t rocky. I made a promise to him earlier. One that I don’t want to keep and Rex seems to think that I should go the other direction. Lie to him and make him remember everything. I think he would hate me more if I do that but I am all out of options. I don’t know what else I can do to win his heart. It is not like it is ready for me to take. I have tried everything. Tried to be a friend, tried to help him with his issues. He has felt the pull. The one thing that weakens a wolf who doesn’t accept its mate and he is still stubborn. I am all out of options.

"I don’t know,’’ he confesses and I can tell that his confession is taking a lot from him. I have never known him to be vulnerable and maybe he is that way with Rex but he has never been that way with me.

Right now, I sense a lot of vulnerability emanating from him.

I walk closer to him, he turns around immediately and I don’t stop walking until I am in front of him. Our eyes meet. He pulls me in completely. I don’t know if it is the same for him.

"Is this about helping you forget, is that why you came?’’

He shakes his head. We are so close. I want to reach out and touch him. Get the same feelings I got when he hugged me.

"I thought so at first but now I am not so sure anymore.’’

I sigh "You don’t want to anymore."

There is this part of me that is already excited. If he tells me that he doesn’t want to forget anymore. Then I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to.

"I do but that is not why I am here.’’

Fuck, so much for being hopeful.

I nod because I don’t know what else to say. He came here on his own but I don’t want to get too excited about it because at the end of this visit, all my expectations might be crushed with just a couple of words from him.

I wait for him to speak. Let the words come out on his own. I don’t want to assume anything and then be disappointed.

"I don’t know why I am here. That is the truth. I just found myself here,’’ he confesses.

My heart thuds against my chest.

He came here because he missed you.

My wolf is fishing. Looking for a light at the end of our very, very dark tunnel. I don’t know what to think or how to feel about his confession because I don’t even know what it means.

"Why?’’

He moves back, I move forward, we do this until his back hits the wall. I am not trying to ambush him, I just want to be close to him. My body is acting out on its own.

"I don’t know, maybe this all happened because of the hug. I don’t want you but something keeps pulling me to you.’’ he cries.

I don’t feel his pain. I like the torture he is going through. I want him to suffer all the emotions that come with this. He can’t act selfishly and then expect me to just give him what he wants. I reach for him. He is blaming the hug. I know it has something to do with how he feels right now.

"I don’t know what I am doing, I will probably regret this in the morning but can I kiss you?’’ he asks looking up at me. His eyes are dark, sensual. Everything I have dreamed. Right now, he is here. In my room and I like to think that is progress.

Kiss him.

My wolf cries out, desperate for a little affection from the man standing in front of me. You know how when you meet your other half, you get a sense of completion within you. I don’t feel complete with Rex, he is just part of the process. I need Gyles to feel that way. We all need each other. So none of us will ever be complete without the other.

This is something that I can’t refuse because no matter how much he pushes me away, or how bad he treats me, I will always want him. I will always go back to him. I get that it is a messed up situation but no one is ever given more than they can handle.

I can handle everything that Gyles throws at me.

Even this.