Ch. 451..455: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 451-455

Chapter 451: Disconnected and alone

Beau

I see the look in his eyes before they close.

I see his lifeless body as he drops our baby on his chest. I hear the screams as the baby starts to cry but I can’t do anything because of that look in his eyes. I can’t do anything because I’m frozen in place.

I watch the scene in front of me, I watch as Ogma rushes over to him and one of the other healers takes the baby from his lifeless arms. I watch as they start to try to revive him. I can’t feel the connection we have always had. Right now, I don’t feel anything from him. I feel the tears start to stream down my face. I feel the pain in my chest. The pain that I know will never go away.

I feel the emptiness in my heart and the confusion in my mind. I can’t understand what has happened.

I look for hope in their eyes. I want to be optimistic but I don’t know how to be. I am scared. I am scared that this will never be the same.

"What is going on?’’ I manage but Ogma is distracted. She is trying to cover him up. They opened him up to bring the babies out and now he is not healing, he is bleeding all over the bed. His blood--his human blood.

My mate is a vampire but right now, I can’t sense his presence. He is not alive anymore. He is gone but he can’t be gone, he can’t be dead. I need him back. I don’t want to do this alone.

"He was supposed to heal on his own, the babies are not inside anymore. He was supposed to be fine.’’ Ogma says but she is not looking at me. I shake my head because I don’t know what she is talking about.

"Please save him,’’ I beg with so much desperation inside me.

"The healer that took my baby comes back into the room and reaches for the other one. I want to follow her but all my attention is fixed on Lanis. I need him to be okay.

"I will do my best Beau, give us some space,’’ Ogma tells me, this time, she looks up at me and my heart throbs against my chest with worry and fear. I can tell that she is doing her best to save him.

"Please just wait outside," she tells me but I am still frozen in place.

I feel the tears on my face as I hear the cries of our newborn baby. "Please save him Ogma,’’ I manage but I can barely hear my own voice.

I watch her nod and then I turn to leave. I hold my hand against my chest. I feel the ache inside me. I feel the pain.

I walk out of the room and close the door behind me. I lean against it and I let out a cry of pain. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I let out a scream of frustration and I punch the wall.

"Beau,’’ I hear someone say but I don’t know who it is. I don’t know who it is because I am too consumed by the pain I feel inside me.

I feel hands on my shoulders and I let out a scream of frustration. "Please,’’ I beg and then I feel a strong embrace.

"Beau, he is not gone,’’ I hear someone say but I don’t know who it is. I feel the arms around me as my cries become louder. I am sobbing in the corridors and I don’t even know who I am holding.

"Please...please,’’ I beg but I don’t know what I am begging for. I don’t know what I am asking for. I just want Lanis back.

I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I feel the pain as it takes over my body. I feel as if my heart is being ripped out of my chest. The pain is so real that I can’t even breathe.

"Beau, they are trying to save him. He is not gone,’’ the voice tells me and I feel the arms around me tighten. I feel the arms and I realize who it is.

I feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I look up at Bells. I know I am ruining her white dress. I know I am making a mess of her hair but I don’t even care. I am in pain and I need someone to hold me.

"I can’t lose him,’’ I tell her and I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I feel the pain as it takes over my body.

"I know,’’ she whispers and I feel her hand on my back. I let out a cry. I want to stop but the pain is too much.

"I need him back,’’ I cry and I feel her hold me tighter. At this point, I am just pouring out my heart to her. There is nothing I can do but wait. Wait for the door to open. I can’t focus on the blessing I have been given tonight. I can’t focus of the happiness that I felt before I saw the look in his eyes.

Before I saw him drop our baby.

I feel the pain in my heart. I feel the ache in my chest. I feel the emptiness in my soul.

Lanis, please come back to me.

I send him a mind link but for the first time since I met him, I don’t feel him on the receiving end.

I want to be optimistic and believe that everything is alright but how can I have that much faith when the one person that gives me all the strength I have is bleeding out on that bed?

I don’t think I can survive in this world without him.

I don’t want the family without him.

I will never be happy without him.

I wish I could still feel him, know that at the end of everything, our souls are still connected but right now, I don’t feel anything.

I don’t feel him at all.

\

Chapter 452: Being stubborn

Beau

A couple of hours fly by and I am still in the halls waiting for Ogma and the rest of the healers. Bells left me but Rex was sent. They don’t want me alone; they think I will do something out of all my frustration but all I want is to get my baby back. I want the doors to open and I want them to tell me that he is breathing and alive.

I want to be connected to him again and I want everything to go back to the way it was before tonight.

Rex is quiet, I haven’t even looked at him but I can tell he is worried about me. I take a couple of deep breaths as I try to control my tears. An alpha is not supposed to cry in front of people and I have shown everyone in the community how weak I am. I have never felt like a good Alpha and no one should fucking expect me to hold my tears right now.

Lanis is my mate, all this is happening because of me. The pregnancy, the babies, I am the one that pushed him even though he didn’t want to. If I lose him because of this, I will never forgive myself--I can’t live knowing that I would be the reason that he died.

he is not going to die.

My wolf speaks up angrily. These are my thoughts, the things that have been going through my mind all night. I have been beating myself up for the last couple of hours and there is no convincing me otherwise.

I did this to him.

I pushed him and pushed him, knowing that he didn’t want this. I convinced him to have them and now I can’t even go to the nursery. I can’t look at them until he wakes up--until I know that he is alright.

I look up and Rex is standing on the opposite side of the wall. his eyes meet mine immediately and he manages a smile. I want to distract myself from the thoughts in my head. I don’t want to think about a world where Lanis doesn’t exist, it is not going to happen. I will not let it.

"You don’t have to stand here with me,’’ I manage dryly.

The smile on his face disappears and he walks towards me. "You are not alone,’’ he tries to tell me but I don’t want to hear it. The comforting words, the ’I am here for you,’

’Nothing is going to happen to him’

"You don’t have to stay here, I am fine on my own,’’ I insist. The door opens before he can respond to me and Ogma walks out. The first thing I notice is all the blood on her clothes. Alanis’s blood. All over her.

A gasp escapes my lips and I run towards her. "Is he okay?’’

She hesitates. "He is alive,’’ she tells me, but the words don’t come outright. She can’t tell me that he is okay, but I can tell that she doesn’t want to say that he is not okay. No one knows what is going to happen to him right now.

I can feel the tears running down my cheeks again. "What happened to him?" I ask her even though I know that the pregnancy happened.

"We didn’t know exactly what was going to happen. this is all new to us but we hoped he would scale through easily. He lost a lot of blood; they did a lot of damage to him internally. We tried to patch everything up but he needs his super healing and he is not even healing right now.’’

I hear her words but right now I can’t comprehend. I just want to know if he will make it through this.

"Can I see him?’’

She looks at me and I can see that she doesn’t want to tell me ’no’ but she knows that I can’t be there right now. "Not right now, he is being patched up by one of the healers. Why don’t you go to the nursery and wait with your babies?’’ she suggests but I don’t want to do this alone.

I want him with me.

I don’t want to go to the nursery without him.

Rex moves towards me and looks at me. "I will take you to the nursery, Beau,’’ he tells me. I shake my head because I really don’t want to go. I want to wait for him to wake up.

"I am not going,’’ I tell both of them "I will wait for him to wake up,’’ I add adamant in my decision.

Ogma gives me a look that tells me that I am not going to like what she is about to say. "You can’t do this; he needs you to be strong for him. You can’t do that if you are sitting here waiting for him to wake up. I can’t tell you how much time it will take but there is a chance that he will be asleep for a long time or he may never wake up. You have to be there for those children. He wouldn’t want you sitting on the floor waiting.’’

I can’t believe what I am hearing. She is telling me that I have to leave him here, alone. She is telling me that he may never wake up and that I have to accept it. I can’t do that.

"He is going to wake up," I tell her determined. I won’t accept this.

"I hope so, but if he doesn’t you have to be there for those babies. You have to be strong for him, you can’t be here crying and waiting for him to wake up. You can’t do that,’’ she is being very strict and that is the way all of us in the pack were trained.

You lose someone and you get up on your feet and fight. You don’t sit down and wallow in self-pity. That is what was expected from me when my father died but I can’t do that with Lanis. He is my partner; he is my soul mate.

I will not just get back up on my feet, I will believe that he is going to wake up and I will be here waiting for him.

"Just let me know when I can see him,’’ I tell her, my voice cracking.

"I will let you know,’’ she says, and then she leaves.

I go back to the spot I was and sit down on the floor with my hands on my head.

I will wait for him.

 

 

Chapter 453: The miracle babies

Rex

Beau has been in the hospital room for ten days now and I wish he would just stop being so stubborn and go and see his babies. I wish I was the person that could get him to see that his babies are already ten days older and he hasn’t even held them in his arms.

I have my own problems to deal with and now I have to add this to it because Beau is like a brother to me. He needs someone to talk some sense to him and he is not listening.

"He is still in the room?’’ Bells ask as she walks closer to me. Her eyes are looking past me but I know that she is worried about him.

"He has refused to leave him, he wants to be there when he wakes up but from the way things are looking, it doesn’t seem like that is going to happen. I don’t sense any life in him. the last time I was in the room, it was like I was looking at a corpse.’’

I hate saying it out loud because I haven’t even said it to Beau and I know that he can sense it. I know that he knows what is happening. I would be able to feel my mates if they were dead. I would be the first person to know and no one would need to tell me.

"I have tried talking to him, but he doesn’t want to listen to anybody." She sighs, running her hands through her hair in frustration.

"I know. I have tried too, but he doesn’t want to listen to me. I have been doing everything I can to get him to leave but I’m afraid that he won’t listen to me either. It is like he is in a trance or something." I sigh, I can feel the frustration building up inside of me.

"He is going to regret it, he needs to go and see his babies,’’ Bells shouts at me like I am the reason why he is being stubborn. Beau will only do what Beau wants to do. No one is ever going to be able to get him to do anything. The only person that can, is Alanis and right now, he is the problem.

"I know and I agree with you but he is in there trying to find a way into Alanis’ mind. I don’t know what he is trying to accomplish but I think that it is not going to work if Alanis is unconscious. He has been in there for ten days and I can’t seem to get him out. He is not coming out until he gets what he wants, let’s just pray that Lanis wakes up before those babies grow up."

She sighs in agreement and I walk into the infirmary, leaving Bells outside the compound. I walk in the direction of Lanis’s room. I don’t know what I am going to say to Beau but I need to get him out of there. I don’t know how much longer I can just stand back and watch him do this.

"Beau,’’ I call out for him as I walk into the room. He doesn’t even look up when I call out his name. He is sitting on the chair next to the bed. He is holding Lanis’ hand close to his face.

"Beau, you need to leave.’’

He ignores me and I walk closer to him. I walk up behind him and I place my hand on his shoulder. He looks up at me and I can see the sadness in his eyes.

"Lanis will wake up, he will wake up and he will want to see the babies. You need to go and see them, Beau. You need to go and see your babies." I say to him, hoping that he will listen to me. It is all I can do. It is the only thing that I can think of.

"I can’t leave him; I can’t leave him. I promised him that I would be here when he wakes up and I can’t leave him. I’m not going to leave him alone. I promised him and I can’t go back on my word." He says, his voice cracking at the end, tears streaming down his face.

"I know that you promised him all that and you can keep that promise. You are abandoning your babies right now; they need their father.’’

The look of sadness in his eyes is breaking my heart. I know that he loves his babies and he is hurting. I have never seen him like this before, he is always the guy that has a smile on his face and he is full of life. I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know how to help him. He just needs to leave this room and go and see his babies.

"Beau, just go and see your babies, bond with them. Have a shower. Leave this room and come back. Lanis will be here when you do.’’ I say, trying to convince him. I feel like I am losing him.

He shakes his head and looks back at Lanis. I don’t know if he is going to listen to me. I don’t know if he is going to listen to anyone.

"I’m not leaving him, I can’t."

I sigh, I can see that he isn’t going to listen to me. I don’t know what else I can do. I walk out of the room and to the direction of the nursery. I see the two cribs occupied with the babies. The other ones are empty. I walk up to the crib and look down at them. The babies are moving around, they are already ten days old and they are moving around. They are trying to get themselves out of the crib. A smile appears on my face as I watch them. I can see the resemblance between their parents. They have a resemblance to Beau but the eyes are from Lanis.

He needs to see this.

The miracle that he and Alanis have made. He needs to appreciate everything he got from this pain. I just hope that he comes to his sense and forms a bond with them.

I hope Alanis wakes up from this so that he can see how amazing they are. I hope he comes to his senses before it is too late.

Chapter 454: Do the right thing

Beau

Two weeks.

Two fucking weeks without my mate.

I feel empty and broken.

Like Lanis waking up is the only way all the pieces can come back together. He is on this bed; His eyes are closed. The bruises are still all over his body, the incision for the CS is stitched but he isn’t fucking healing. He is a vampire. this is his strong point. I don’t know why it is not working.

I don’t know how to help him.

I have tried everything. I give him my blood. The last time he was hurting, it worked but now, I don’t know what to do.

I can’t lose him. I can’t. He is my mate.

I know he is strong and my wolf seems to believe that he is going to come out of this stronger but I don’t know what to think when he is lying on this bed, lifeless. I can’t live without him. I know that. I just hope he knows that too.

I am going to stay by his side. I am going to wait for him to wake up. Everyone seems to think that I am being selfish. I just don’t know how to explain to them that I can’t physically leave this room. I am tied to him right now. I don’t have the heart to leave him.

I am going to wait for him. I will be here for him no matter what.

there is blood in an IV, going into his arm. Ogma seems to think that the only way we can know for sure is when he starts to heal. I tried to get Darrien to help but it didn’t work. Nothing has worked and it is killing me. Ogma believes that Lanis has to do this on his own. He has to come back on his own and right now, he is basically dead. He is rejuvenating. I have been biting my nails for ten days now. It is the only thing I can do to distract myself from the pain. I can’t do anything, I can’t leave the room, I can’t go outside because if I do that, I will completely lose it. I am going to stay here, by his side, until he wakes up. I just hope that when he does wake up, I can be strong enough for both of us.

I put my hand on his shoulder and then on his head. I know he can’t feel me but I need to touch him, to know that he is here. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him.

I know, deep down, that he is not going to leave me. He loves me too much to just leave me here.

I have been looking at him for ten days now. I can recognize the pattern of the wrinkles on his face. I know the shape of his lips, the color of his eyes, the way they are closed but the way his eyebrows are slightly raised like he is worried about something. He is my mate. I know he is strong.

I hope he knows that I am here for him. I hope that he knows that I will be here for him no matter what. I hope that he knows that I am not going to leave him, no matter what. I just hope that he knows that I love him. I hope that he knows that I need him, I hope he knows that I can’t live without him.

I lie down on the space in the bed and pull him closer to me. His body is still warm. That should mean something, right? It should mean that he is going to wake up soon.

My sleep pattern has been messed up this past two weeks, I haven’t eaten, I haven’t gone for a hunt, my wolf is getting weaker as each second that passes by. I don’t want to lose myself while waiting for him. I close my eyes in his arms and he is all I feel as I drift off to sleep.

******************

I open my eyes and I am back in my room. I sit up on the bed and furrow my brows in confusion. I don’t know how I got here but I instantly panic because I didn’t plan on leaving Lanis. The only way that this was possible was if someone carried me to my room. I throw the blanket off but before I can get up, the door opens and I see Lanis as he walks into the room.

My heart lunges out of my chest and I throw myself at him. He hugs me and we both fall to the floor. I don’t know how this is possible but he is here. I am holding him; I can feel his heartbeat.

He looks at me with a slight smile on his face. "I missed you so much," I whisper, burying my face in his neck.

"I missed you too." He replies, kissing the top of my head.

"I thought that I lost you," I whisper, closing my eyes and holding him tighter.

"I am sorry." He whispers, kissing my shoulder. I watch him and there is no assurance that he is here. He is just apologizing and it just means that this is not real.

"Is this a dream?’’ I ask him, pulling away from him slowly. My heart drops as I watch the expression on his face.

"I am sorry." He whispers, looking away from me.

"No, no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening. You can’t leave me again." I tell him, shaking my head. I can’t lose him again. This cannot happen.

I can feel the tears streaming down my face as I look at him. He is here, he is real. I am not going to let him go. I am not going to let him leave me right now.

"This is real I am still hurt but I am here,’’ he tells me, with tears in his eyes.

"I am not going to let you go. I am not going to let you leave me." I tell him, shaking my head. "I am sorry." He says, looking at me "You are going to wake up soon and I need to talk to you.’’

He tells me, caressing my cheek with his hand. "What do you mean?" I ask him furrowing my brows in confusion.

"You have to see them,’’ he whispers so low that I almost don’t hear him.

"What?’’ I ask him, as I look at him in confusion even though I know what he is talking about.

"You need to take care of them, you can’t just abandon them." He glares at me and I can see that he is upset with me.

"I don’t want to do this without you,’ I shake my head in dismissal. We were supposed to be a family together and now he is asking me to do this on my own.

"You have to trust the process. You are being selfish,’’ he tells me, with a stern voice.

"I am not being selfish. I just don’t know how to do this without you." I tell him, with an uneasy voice.

"You are stronger than you think. You are strong enough to do this." He tells me, with a stern voice. "You have to do this. You are the only one who can do this. You have to take care of them." He tells me, as he stands up. "You have to wake up now." He tells me, looking at me.

"I am not ready to let you go," I tell him, with the last breath in my lungs.

"You have to wake up." He tells me, shaking his head. "Do the right thing."

Chapter 455: A part of Lanis

Beau

I open my eyes and I am back in the room, in his arms.

I saw him in my dreams but it felt so real. I don’t know how long I was out but I want to go back to that world where he is awake. I don’t want this world where he is covered in bruises and lifeless.

Do the right thing.

His words come into my head as I turn to look at him. He wants me to do the right thing, which just means that being in his room, twenty-four-seven is the wrong thing.

I thought the right thing was to stay with him, but he says it is to leave.

I wish I could make him wake up. Make him see that I am not going anywhere, even though that is what he wants me to do. It is hard for me to just walk away from him right now but if I don’t, I know that he will never forgive me.

Lanis would not want me to suffer like this.

I have to do the right thing.

I stand up and place a soft kiss on his lips. Leaving this room is harder than I thought it would be. I am lingering by him, hoping that he will wake up and stop me from leaving.

I have to do the right thing.

I take a step and then another and then I am out the door. I close it gently behind me and take a deep breath. I can do this. I can leave him, for a couple of hours. I can choose to focus on something else. I want to see our babies. I want to hold them; I want to feel them. I need to do that.

I walk down the hall and go into the nursery and there they are, my babies. I reach out and run a finger over the top of their heads. They have soft hair, just like their Lanis. I am still getting used to them being here, to the fact that they are real.

I reach out and stroke my hand over their heads and when I do, they move. They move under my touch; it is the first time they have done that. I am so happy, to feel them move. I have been waiting for this moment for so long but now that it is here, I can’t help but feel sad that he is not here with me to share this moment with me.

This little milestone would have meant so much to him. I need to find a way to make it mean just as much to me. I don’t want to be sad and I don’t want to be angry with myself. I want to focus on what he wants me to focus on but it is really hard.

I look at them and they look so much like him. I know it is too early to tell. They are only ten days old but I can see the similarities. They are small and pink and their hair is already coming in. I can see their fathers’ eyes in them.

I smile at them and reach out to touch their tiny hands. They feel so small in my hands. I hold them and I can’t help but think about how small and fragile they are.

I am afraid that I am going to break them. I am afraid that I won’t be able to take good care of them, that I can’t do this on my own.

You don’t have to do this on your own. Give it time, he will come back to you.

My wolf tells me calmly, almost like he knows something that I don’t. I wish I could have a dream of the future right now. I wish I could see another happy time with all of us. One that will assure me that he is going to be okay.

I look at the babies again and I want to believe my wolf. I want to believe that things will be alright and that my Lanis will come back to me. I want to believe that everything will be alright. I let go of their fingers and get ready to pick one up.

I don’t know how to do this but I want to be able to do this. I want to be able to hold my babies like I know that Lanis will. The door opens just as I am about to and I look up to see Bells by the door.

She opens her eyes wide, probably shocked that I am here right now. Bells has been one of the people that has been trying to convince me to come out of the hospital room. She has been trying to get me to come and see them and right now, mixed with her shock, I can see the joy in her eyes.

"You are here,’’ she breathes out walking closer to me.

"Yes,’’ I say slowly.

I am not sure what to do right now. "You know they have been crying for you. Why don’t you carry one of them.’’?

"I don’t know how,’’ I say to her.

"You will learn,’’ she says. "I will help you."

"I don’t want to hurt them.’’

"You won’t, you will be fine. They are your babies. You will learn how to take care of them, they are a part of you.’’

"I am not sure what to do with them. I am not sure what to do with two of them.’’

"You can start by picking one up,’’ she says.

I look at her and then at the babies and slowly I reach out and pick one up. It is so tiny, so fragile. I don’t know what to do with it. I hold it close to me and look at her.

"What now,’’ I ask, my voice full of fear.

"You are holding him,’’ she says.

I look at him and I can feel his tiny heart beating against my hands. I can feel his tiny chest moving up and down. I can feel him.

"I am holding him,’’ I say.

"Yes, you are. You are holding your son,’’ she says and I can see the tears in her eyes.

I look at him and I think about the fact that he is a part of Lanis. I think about the fact that he is a part of me too.

I have been so stupid avoiding them. A part of me was scared because they are a part of Lanis but now, that is the one thing that makes this more magical.

I have pieces of my Lanis and they are here with me.