Ch. 651..655: The Werewolf's Vampire Mate Chapter 651-655

Chapter 651: Like old times

freeweɓnovel-cøm

Jabi

Maybe I am avoiding Darrien because I feel he knows my innermost darkest thoughts. It has been two days since that night.

Two days and I am scared to have a conversation with him. I am scared to tell him the things that he might already know.

I don’t even know what is wrong with me. I don’t even know how to explain how I feel, I just feel these things and nothing has been able to help me—not even Dar.

"You’re not going home?’’ Rex asks me calmly as I drop the book I am reading on my crossed legs. I am in their house, avoiding Darrien. He messaged me, I responded but I haven’t replied his question of when I would be back. Things are weird between us because he has finally noticed the things that I have been hiding.

The things I didn’t want him to see.

The things I wanted to bury and forget about.

"Not now,’’ I shrug as I open the book again. He looks suspicious and I don’t blame him. I just got back from the trip I took with Darrien. I should be with her. I should have missed her but I felt relieved to be away.

Just like I do right now.

"What about Tala?’’ he asks worriedly.

Mentioning her name makes her real. "She is with Darrien. I think I can stay away from her for a couple of hours," I snap and I don’t mean to but I guess I am just frustrated. Everyone just cares about her, no one cares about how I feel and it is bugging me to the point where I just want to scream.

"I get it, you want me gone. I’ll be on my way."

I stand up from the couch as he grabs my arm "What’s happening. I didn’t mean anything by it. You can stay.’’ He tries to stop me but I can already see the judgment in his eyes. No one will understand why I feel this way.

They will just think I am a terrible father.

"I actually should go. Darrien is probably looking for me,’’ I lie as I leave the house and walk the path to mine. the walk takes longer than it usually would. Somehow, I don’t want to go home. I don’t want him to look at me and judge me. I don’t want him to hate me because of this.

I hate myself enough already.

I was ready for this Chapter in our relationship.

I wanted this.

I get to the house and I see the light on. His scent fills my nostrils. I know he is home, with her.

I don’t want to look at her with these thoughts in my head. I am ashamed of myself.

I hate this so much.

After a lot of hesitation, I walk into the house and I see the table set. He is not in the living room but I smell food so I know he is in the kitchen. It has been a while since Darrien cooked for me. when we first got together, he would cook for me every day.

He used to say he needed to fatten me up, that I was too tiny. I loved seeing him in the kitchen. I loved watching him cook because he always did it with so much love.

Things happened. Life happened and I understand that we have responsibilities now. we have a baby and that needs to be where our focus lies but I miss the days before.

This should feel like growth in our relationship but it doesn’t.

I wish it did.

I close the door and he pokes his head out of the kitchen door. There is a smile on his face. it gives me butterflies, goosebumps, and a lot more. My heart thuds heavily because I like seeing him smile.

"You’re home,’’ he exclaims as he walks out of the kitchen. He is dressed in a pair of shorts and his favorite shirt. The one with the wolf on it. he had it made on our one-year anniversary. It is my wolf. The wolf that he loves so much.

My heart beats faster.

I expected him to be upset with me—hell I deserve his anger.

Why isn’t he?

"Hi baby,’’ he pulls me into him and his lips press to mine. my heart is in a celebration on its own. the confusion in my head is being clouded away. I just want to enjoy this moment with him.

"Hi,’’ I reply as he pulls away from me slightly and rests his head on mine.

I don’t know what is happening but fuck, it feels like an escape. One that I need right now "I’m making your favorite,’’ he tells me, the heat from his mouth soothing me all over.

I close my eyes for a second as I revel in this magnificence that is my man. he is still smiling at me when I open my eyes "It is almost ready, do you wanna go have a shower and then come out?’’ he asks.

I shake my head.

I don’t want to leave him.

I don’t want to leave this moment because, for the first time in a long time, I feel like my old self.

I don’t feel anything but happiness.

I don’t want this moment to end.

"I want to stay with you,’’ I tell him but the desperation in my voice is evident. He can sense it but he doesn’t show it.

"Come on,’’ he pulls my hand into the kitchen and I see the mess he made. Dar can’t cook without making a mess. That is our dynamic, he cooks and I clean. He grabs me by my waist and places me on the table "You just watch your sexy ass man make a meal and stay pretty,’’ he winks, my heart melts.

I watch him as he runs around the kitchen, I watch him with that goofy smile on his face that I love.

I watch him and I am happy.

Chapter 652: This precious moment

Jabi

"Everything looks delicious,’’ I exclaim as he puts the last plate on the table. I am seated on the dining table; my stomach is grumbling. I haven’t eaten anything today.

"Cause I am a great cook,’’ he laughs playfully as he sits down next to me. I rest my head on his shoulder because I want to be stuck to him for the rest of the night.

"Come on, dig in,’’ he puts a glass plate in front of me and dishes me some steak and vegetables.

I lick my lips as I take a bite of the meat. there is a joy that wolves get eating raw meat but whenever Darrien cooks meat for me, I enjoy it more. I stuff my mouth and he watches me, with a sweet smile on his face. I haven’t really had an appetite in a while.

Even when we went on that trip last week. I haven’t enjoyed anything in a while, so this makes me happy. this gives me a type of joy that I didn’t even know I needed.

Happiness is not something that is attainable all the time. there will be sad days, there will be days when you wouldn’t feel like yourself and he is making me feel like myself again.

He hasn’t said one thing about tala. He hasn’t asked me any questions about why? I know he is thinking about it but he hasn’t brought it up to me.

Darrien has always let me know that his life, belongs to me. he shows it, I feel it. right now, this is the biggest display he has ever done.

He is genuinely only thinking about me.

"This is so good,’’ I tell him in between bites.

He smiles as he plays with his own food. I want to ask him where Tala is but I don’t want to bring up the elephant in the room. I don’t want to talk about it because I want to enjoy this escape, even if it is for a night.

I know I will have to go back to reality but this is nice.

I don’t want to let it go just yet.

"You know what I am doing right?’’ he raises a brow.

I furrow mine "What?’’

He smiles and I know that smile anywhere. He is being mischievous right now "I am building your appetite for later, I need you to be able to take,’’ he gestures to his body "all this,’’ he adds with a smirk.

I can’t help myself as I laugh at the lameness of his joke. He is being playful; he is teasing me. I love this.

"I always have an appetite. You should know that by now,’’ I tease back. I haven’t been playful in months.

"Oh, is this a challenge? Are we about to play this game?’’ he shifts closer to me? his breath is hot, my hands tremble as I try to hold onto my fork. I don’t even want to eat anymore.

His hand moves to my face and I close my eyes "I am hungry, you know that right? can you take a ravenous Darrien tonight?’’ he asks me with a low rumble.

He doesn’t need to ask.

I will take any kind of Darrien, any time of the day.

"Look at me,’’ he commands. My eyes open in a flash. I would do anything he asks in a heartbeat. "Finish your food,’’ he tells me, his eyes getting dark.

There are two ways I thought this night would go.

1. He would talk to me about Tala. He would try to find out why I am treating our daughter like the enemy.

2. He would ignore it and treat me a certain kind of way because of it.

I didn’t expect him to treat me like he would normally do. I didn’t expect him to want to fuck me.

This night is going better than I thought it would.

"I am not hungry anymore,’’ I push the plate away from me.

He laughs "Oh you have to eat it all. There is no way I would let you waste this food. It took me a long time to make."

I smile as I bring the plate back to me.

It is delicious but I am hungry for something else and he knows it. he watches me as I rush to finish up the food on my plate and it looks like he is having the time of his life.

"Don’t choke,’’ he teases me but I just roll my eyes.

Once I am done, he chuckles "That was fast,’’ he points out but I don’t even give him the chance to say more as I jump over to him and kiss him hungrily. His hands wrap around my waist as I climb onto his seat. He moans into my mouth as I taste him, enjoy him. our tongues dance together. I enjoy him completely, no other thought in my mind.

He carries me onto the room, he takes off my clothes. I kiss him, kiss him like tonight will be the last time, kiss him like it is the first time. I kiss him because of the love I have for him, I kiss him because of the love he has for me. I hold my man and I don’t have to think about anything else.

I don’t have to worry about life and how I feel. I don’t have to be bothered with anything because he is giving me his heart.

His heart that I was afraid I would lose.

His heart that used to only belong to me.

His heart that I wanted for myself.

He is reminding me of how precious I am to him and I don’t have any doubt anymore. I know he is the real deal; I know we are forever.

There will be a conversation.

One that we would need to have but for now, at this moment, he is giving me an escape.

He is giving me what I really need.

Chapter 653: Overwhelming surge of emotions

Darrien

He is still awake.

He is lying down next to me and he hasn’t let go of me all night. I don’t even want him to let me go.

I don’t want us to talk about anything. I just want to be present with him tonight. It feels like he doesn’t want to.

"You’re so cold,’’ he mouths out. I turn to him and he is watching me with a smile on his face "How is your cold so warm for me?" he asks.

He seems like he is high.

Maybe on a sex high.

I am on cloud nine right now.

"How does that even make sense?’’

He shrugs pushing his head into my chest. I hear him sniff me. that is normal. He always sniffs me "You smell different,’’ he points out.

I know why I smell different.

Tala’s scent is rubbing off on me.

It is only normal.

I don’t say that though.

I don’t want to bring that up right now.

He doesn’t need that.

I had a talk with Alanis. We did a lot of research together. I didn’t know anything about post-partum. I have heard about it. I just didn’t feel the need to understand it but now, I have to. I have to be there for him. I can’t treat him like he is sick, or a wicked person. I need him to know that I am and will always be on his side.

No matter what.

"Maybe you are rubbing off on me,’’ I joke.

He laughs "I love you, Dar,’’ he tells me. he hasn’t brought up Tala. I want to have a conversation with him about it but only when he is ready. "I am sorry,’’ he breathes out into the night sky.

He is apologizing but he doesn’t say anything else.

I don’t push him.

I don’t want to. I want him to take his time. I want to love him while he does. His eyes start to close and I know he is about to pass out.

It has been an amazing night. I have to try to always remind him that I love him. I don’t want him to ever forget and get worried.

I don’t want him to forget that he is precious to me.

"I love you too,’’ I assure him verbally even though he knows right now. he doesn’t need my words because my actions tonight have proved it but I still want to let him.

He nods and I watch him sleep. I watch him as the smile that has been on his face ends the night.

******************

I open my eyes to my phone ringing.

The first person I look for, is Jabi. I don’t even know when I fell asleep. I must have had a lot of blood tonight. I don’t usually pass out.

I sit up on the bed my eyes searching for him.

I don’t check my phone as I search for him around the house. he is not home and this makes me worried. I know that he is not okay. He is going through some things and I don’t want him wandering around alone.

I don’t want to worry about him because I trust him but I can’t help myself. I pick up my phone and I see the missed call.

It is from Alanis.

A message pops up and I read it.

Alanis: Jabi is here, he said he didn’t say anything to you and I should tell you.

I jump from the bed without even returning the call. He must know that Tala is with Alanis.

Why would he be there?

I read up on cases where mothers hurt their children. not that I actually think he is even capable of hurting her. I am just overthinking and I am scared and worried.

I run to their house. it takes me less than a minute. I just need to make sure that they are both okay. I get to the house and the door opens immediately. Alanis knew I would come here.

"He is fine, Tala is fine. I think they need to be alone for a while,’’ he tells me even though I didn’t even ask.

"What did he say when he came?’’

He smiles "He said he wanted to see his baby.’’

"He is with her?’’ I ask even though he just said that.

He nods.

"And?’’ I walk into the house.

"And nothing, he fell asleep holding her, and I couldn’t even take her away from him."

My heart thuds heavily at his words.

My hands start to sweat.

I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Things are going to be rocky for a while, so I don’t want to think that he is miraculously fixed—not that there is anything wrong with him. he is perfect. So perfect.

"Can I see them?’’ I don’t know why I need this validation but I want to actually see him with her. I haven’t gotten the chance to see him bond with her and it feels like something that has been missing from my life.

"What happened tonight, he seemed so happy when he got here.’’

I didn’t do anything special.

I just treated him the way I used to.

I just reminded him of my love for him and maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t but this is a milestone.

Something has changed.

We walk into the room and I see him on the rocking chair with her bundled up in his arms. It is like he is half asleep because he is holding her tightly. Almost like he is afraid to let go.

I didn’t think my heart could get any bigger. I didn’t think I could love him more but at that moment, a lot happens to me.

A lot that I can’t even explain.

I don’t even know when the tears start to fall.

I am happy, so I don’t know why I am crying. I don’t know why I feel like the luckiest person on earth.

Fuck, this is overwhelming.

Chapter 654: A missing piece

Jabi

Something weird happened to me in the night. I have never felt the way I felt. Something was missing.

My baby was missing in my joy.

I knew it.

I didn’t want to wake Darrien up.

I didn’t want to have to talk about it with him because things were going great. We had a bond that I thought we would lose with Tala.

Her name is tala.

I am the one that chose the name.

I loved it the minute I heard it.

I should have loved her as much as I loved her name but it didn’t happen. From the beginning, I felt like I was going to fail her. I felt like I was going to be a terrible parent.

I didn’t know why.

I didn’t want to disappoint her but I ended up doing just that. I haven’t held her—like really held her since she was born. I would watch her from a distance. I would find a way to drop with someone else whenever she was in my arms. I didn’t want to bond with her because I felt like she wouldn’t love me.

How many people could love someone as imperfect as me?

How many people did I want to disappoint?

I turn around, my eyes looking at the room. Darrien is beside me. he is sleeping, so I get up slowly, so I don’t wake him and walk out of the house. I know where she would be.

Alanis is the only one that Darrien actually trusts to leave alone with his kid. It makes no sense because every one in our family could watch her and she would be fine but he is such a helicopter dad that he cant.

I walk in the dead of night until I get to the main house. I just want to see her and maybe apologize for all the things I have done. For the way I treated her.

Hold your child.

Love your child.

Those had been the chants in my head.

It is easier said than done. I don’t even understand what I am going through but it seems like Dar does. We haven’t talked about it but I know that he knows there is something wrong with me.

I knock on the door and it takes a couple of minutes for the door to open. Beau furrows his eyes in confusion as he sees me "Jab, is everything okay?’’ he asks confused.

I nod and try to give him a smile to assure him but it comes out faint. I don’t even know why I am here "Can I see her?’’ I ask.

"Tala?’’

I nod.

He smiles.

He understands how hard this must be for me. the people in the community all treat me differently. It is all thanks to Beau. he has been amazing. He treated me like I belonged and now everyone does the same. he might not have said anything to me but he knows.

They all know.

At least the ones that matter to me.

"Sure, she is asleep though. I just checked her,’’ he opens the door and I walk into the house.

The cool air hits me from the air conditioner. I walk behind him and he doesn’t say anything to me. he doesn’t need to. I didn’t come here to have a conversation with him. I just came to see my daughter and he is letting me do that peacefully.

We get to a door and he opens the room for me.

"You can spend the night here if you want,’’ he informs me before he leaves. I thank him as he leaves and walks over to the crib. I see her and my heart thuds against my chest. I don’t know how I am supposed to feel.

I don’t know what my reaction is supposed to be.

My baby.

She is sleeping.

Her tiny eyes are closed.

Her mouth is slightly open.

Even asleep, she looks so much like me.

The moment she was born, I saw it. I saw myself in her. so why haven’t I been able to love her the way I love myself.

Why do I still see her as the thing that would bring me and Darrien apart?

Because you are scared.

My wolf tells me.

I shake my head.

She squirms in her sleep but she doesn’t wake up. I don’t reach for her. I just watch her. unsure of how I am supposed to feel.

This should come naturally to me.

Right?

Not everyone.

The voice in my head that is my wolf tells me. I want to believe him but I don’t know.

I grab the stool in the room that is in front of the rocking chair and sit down on it. my hands rest on the crib as I watch her. unlike all the other times, I want to be close to her. I want to figure her out, I want to know how she feels about me. I don’t know if I want to hold her. it would be a bad idea. Whenever I hold her, she cries. I don’t want her to cry. I just want to watch her quietly from a distance.

I close my eyes for a second as I listen to the sounds of my heart.

I know how my wolf feels about Tala.

There is nothing but love.

Love that I want to feel.

You are denying yourself of this privilege.

I know.

I open my eyes as her squirms increase and she opens her eyes slowly as she starts to cry.

Maybe it is my presence.

I mean, I make her cry.

What would make this moment different?

I grab her gently because I don’t want her to wake the whole house up. they are already doing us a favor. The least I can do is take care of my baby. Her hands grab mine but she doesn’t stop until I stand up and rest her on my chest. At first, I am scared but the minute she stops and I feel her clutch onto my shirt.

I don’t know what to do.

"Here, I made a bottle for her,’’ Alanis walks into the room. "You can feed her on the rocking chair. I used to feed the twins on there all the time."

I thank him as he walks out of the room.

I sit down on the chair and her eyes are open. She is staring at me with this intensity.

She knows.

Almost like she is trying to register my face into her memory. I am not the one that she sees all the time.

I am the terrible parent.

I place the bottle on her mouth and she takes it in immediately, her eyes never leaving mine.

My heart races faster as I feed her.

A slow smile forms on my face.

I don’t know how I feel at this moment but I know I will try to be better for her. I will try to be the best.

Chapter 655: The talk

Darrien

I don’t know how long I stare at him.

Maybe the overwhelming feeling inside me makes me not want to leave and I understand that. This is the first time that I have actually ever seen him hold tala with love.

This is the first time and somehow, it feels like it wouldn’t be the last.

"You can come in,’’ I hear his voice before I even focus on his face.

His eyes are watching me. I didn’t even know he woke up. Tala is still in his arms but he is seated upright.

"Did I wake you up?’’ I ask him as I walk into the room fully.

He smiles "No, I could sense you. Okay, maybe you did,’’ his smile widens. My heart swells up inside my chest. He is making jokes. He seems genuinely happy and that makes me happy. I don’t know how long this happiness is going to last but I want it to stay for a while. I stop in front of him, my hand rests on the chair as he watches me.

"I wanted to see her,’’ he explains even though he doesn’t need to.

She is his child. He can see her whenever he wants to. He doesn’t need permission.

"I wanted us to be alone tonight. I smile, slowly grabbing the stool so that I am seated in front of him. His fingers brush her cheek softly. My heart warms up. I love this so much but I don’t want to show him just how much because I don’t want to scare him.

"I wanted to see her. I haven’t wanted to see her since she was born."

I watch him quietly because this is actually the first time we are having a conversation. He is opening up to me right now and I don’t him to stop. He looks away from me and to tala and I stay quiet. I am here to listen. I don’t want to say anything.

"I know there is something wrong with me. I am wired differently from everyone else."

I shake my head.

"No, you are not."

He smiles "You don’t have to. I know. I have known since she was born. I wanted to love her, I still don’t know if I do."

"There is time to get to know her. It is not too late.’’

He nods "I know that. She came and she changed so much. I don’t know if I like the changes. I don’t know if I like her in our lives. I hate that I have all these thoughts. I hate that she can sense it. She doesn’t like me too.’’

Tears well up in his eyes.

I don’t want him to cry. I never want to see him cry. I only want the smile that he carries so well. This is not what I want.

"I am sorry Dar."

I furrow my brows.

I don’t have the words.

What can I say to make him feel better at this moment? I don’t think he wants me to make him feel better. He just wants to let it all out.

"You are perfect. Every day when I wake up next to you. I am glad that the gods chose you for me. I wouldn’t want anyone else. I wouldn’t want anyone else to have babies with. It will always be you."

I reach for his face and wipe the tears that are falling. He grabs my hand in his "I want to do better. I want to bond with her. How do I do that?’’ he asks me.

I don’t have the answer to his question. How do I answer him when he is the only one that will know? "When you are ready, this will fall into place. Tala loves you and she is going to be here for a long time. She is going to love you just as much as you will love her."

Jabi is going through a rough patch. He will get through this and things will be alright. If there is anyone in this world that I have faith in. it is Jabi. The man I love. The one that I will choose continuously. We are going to overcome this and I will be there with him, all the steps of the way.

"She looks so much like me,’’ he points out and my eyes dart to my daughter.

It is uncanny.

When I first met Tala, all I could see was my mate. She is the replica of him and maybe that is what scares him but that is what makes me love more. She chose him even before she was born. It was a match made in heaven and I know he will see that eventually.

"She is beautiful."

It feels like he is just noticing her for the first time. Like he is really looking and he can see her finally. This is a step up and even though he can’t see it yet. I can and I see the love and only love in his eyes.

He hasn’t figured it out but it is just a matter of time.

"Yes, she is,’’ I nod in agreement.

"Alanis said we could spend the night here, what do you think?’’ he asks. His eyes bore into mine. I smile because I wouldn’t ask for anything more. To be in the same room with my baby and my partner. It is a blessing that I didn’t even know I would crave until this moment.

"I just want to hold her tonight,’’ he tells me "would she be alright if I do?’’ he adds.

I nod. "I’ll stay up and watch.’’

If he doesn’t want to let her go, then I will watch him for the rest of the night to make sure that he doesn’t.

"You should get some shut-eye since she is asleep.’’

He nods and I watch him as he stands up from the rocking chair and walks over to the bed. He rests his back on the headboard and slowly stretches his free hand to me "Come on."

I lie down next to him, unable to hide the smile that has been looming on my face.

I don’t have anything to worry about.

We will be fine.